Another Year (2010) Edit

A couple of years ago.

A few weeks?

A terrible way to treat someone.

A week on Wednesday?

A whole year?

About ten years.

Absolutely.

Acha?

Ah, sod him.

Ah, that's right. Never forget to kiss your mum.

Ah, yes. Strictly speaking, I'm actually an engineering geologist.

Ah, yes. Well, right now, the main project is an eight metre diameter tunnel,

Air On The G String

All his little bits and bobs.

All my life I've had to put up with this nonsense from you

All of these strong men.

All right, Carl?

All right, Gerri, you're the boss.

All right, well, I'm off, then.

All right.

All right. I dig holes.

All righty.

Am I? Well, I've always been slim, haven't I?

Amazing cake.

Amen.

Amen.

And again.

And all my toilet rolls have been stolen.

And courgettes.

And earning relatively good money, and nothing to spend it on, really.

And good luck to you, Mo.

And had I sorted out the insurance? Well, that hadn't even crossed my mind!

And his wife.

And how about you? Have you started your menopause?

And I got towed to Crawley,

And I know you're a geologist, Tom, but what exactly do you do?

And I saw these two daffodils peeping over the top of the grass.

And I wanted to surprise you all.

And I'm not going to have it any longer!

And I've seen all I need to see for the time being.

And it got broken into last night.

And it was really expensive because I haven't driven since 1984.

And my mum works on a make up counter.

And nobody's helping me.

And that's great, because I fit the bill.

And that's just for this household.

And that's why I love him.

And that's why I love him.

And the blessing of God Almighty...

And the guy kept trying to touch me up.

And then Singapore to Malaysia and then onto Thailand.

And then there's the big corporations,

And then...

And this government won't invest in the railways,

And Tom's first job, when we left uni, was abroad for two years.

And we now commit her body to be cremated.

And what am I left with now?

And when Tom had finished after two years, I joined him again and we...

And would you like some coffee?

And you came out and visited, didn't you, my first Christmas holiday?

And you know it.

And, understandably, Mr Gupta hasn't exactly been in a position to open them,

And, you know me, I'm very much a glass half full kind of girl.

And... I grew up just down the road from you, in Croydon.

Another capital city brought to its knees.

Any news?

Any time you like.

Anything else?

Anyway, I'm... I'm sick of it. I just left it. It's just a car. What does it matter?

Are you all right, Gerri?

Are you all right, Ronnie?

Are you all right?

Are you dozing in the daytime?

Are you drinking a lot to keep awake?

Are you going to do something about your garden?

Are you insured, Mary?

Are you OK?

Are you sleeping in Joe's room?

Are you still angry with me?

Are you taking any drugs, medication?

Are you warm enough?

Arrabbiata. Are you hungry?

As far as we know.

As long as we're friends, then I'm all right.

As well as can be expected.

At your age, you can walk away, can't you?

Auntie Mary.

Auntie Mary.

Aye, aye. Give them a lift home.

Aye.

Bastard.

Be a big change for you, Ronnie,

Because if I don't treat myself, nobody else is going to, are they?

Because they wanted 700, but I offered 600, but we settled at 650.

Because you know that you can talk to me.

Better pack my bag.

Better?

Blimey.

Bloody hell.

Boys flexing their muscles on the beach. No, it's not for me.

Bread and cheese.

Buenos Aires.

Bugger that, you're carrying the bags.

But he doesn't appear to have turned up yet.

But he wasn't a bad person.

But I am always prepared.

But I didn't tell you on Thursday, Gerri, because I knew I was coming here today

But I do want you to have a blood test, to check your thyroid.

But I don't want to spend too much money because I'm going to get myself a little car.

But I haven't checked my e mails.

But I was too young.

But I'll have to cut back on, you know,

But I've spent so much on it, Tom. I can't just sell it now.

But if you keep it, it's only going to get worse.

But if you talk about politics again, you're barred.

But it's great to come home and feel like you've made a contribution, isn't it?

But it's tricky, because...

But now...

But that's OK because I've got loads of clothes. My wardrobe isn't big enough.

But then I never do, do I, Gerri? Because I haven't got anyone to go with.

But then, this morning, I'm in the bathroom, I'm sitting on...

But they rang on Friday morning

But we don't seem to talk to each other any more.

But when I was in my 30s, I met the right man and I was mature.

But when you've got your car, Mary, you'll be able to go wherever you want,

But yesterday I was brushing my teeth and I looked out the window

But you'll give me the prescription now?

But, if I had more money, then I could do both.

But, you see, the car is cheaper than the train, isn't it?

But, you're looking fit and raring to go, Mr Gupta.

But...

By the way, Mary, it's a 1.4.

Bye, Ken.

Bye, Mary. Really nice to meet you.

Bye.

Bye.

Can I come in?

Can I have one of them beers now?

Can I just say what a great pleasure it is to be playing with you once again?

Can you pop your arm on the desk for me?

Can you take that for me?

Can't or won't remember?

Can't you stay just till we get to King's Cross?

Carl said he is going back.

Carl, we've got loads of wine.

Carl.

Change is frightening, isn't it?

Cheers, Gez.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Chuck a few things in a bag. We'll clear up.

Coffee, yes.

Come on.

Cos it's the toilet roll that I've left in the car.

Could you get me a refill, Joe?

Couldn't I just get a man in? It wouldn't cost much.

Croydon College.

Cup of tea.

Cut your losses, Mary. Get rid of it.

Daughter's left, only see her when she wants something.

Dear, dear.

Did Gerri tell you about me getting a car, Tom?

Did he go to the funeral?

Did you drive?

Did you ever smoke dope?

Did you finish it?

Did you have breakfast?

Did you have dinner last night?

Did you like the Beatles?

Did you see this?

Did you speak to my son and heir?

Did you try not to take it personally?

Did you?

Didn't much care for her when she was alive.

Didn't you go away with Andrea?

Didn't you?

Do you fancy a drink tonight?

Do you know the way?

Do you know, Gerri, I've never been with a man who could cook.

Do you remember when you showed me your little box?

Do you think it was my fault, Tom?

Do you want a cuddle?

Do you want one of these?

Do you want some toast?

Do you want something now?

Do you want your coats? Yeah, I'm not surprised.

Does Gerri ever mention me?

Don't be silly.

Don't fall in love with me, I'm married, can you?

Don't feel you need to hang about, duck.

Don't forget your tomatoes, Mary.

Don't go on the tube, Joe. I can give you a lift. You can be my navigator.

Don't know what I'm doing here. I didn't want to come.

Don't know.

Don't know.

Don't scare the wildlife, Ken.

Don't see her any more.

Don't tell me how to behave in my house.

Don't underestimate the shock he's had, Carl.

Don't want to talk about my family. Why should I?

During the Clough glory years, we were at the centre of the footballing universe.

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

Eat, drink, be merry.

Eh?

Eight metres? That's big.

Enigma Variations IX Nimrod

Er, I'm... Restaurant family business.

Er...

Erm... it's important for Mr Gupta to understand that at this point

Erm... l'll be representing Mr Gupta on the day.

Everyone who lives and believes in me will never die.

Everything OK?

Everything sank to the bottom. It was horrible.

Exactly, and I'm very happy to be here with both of you.

Exactly, things change.

Exactly!

Exactly.

Except my job.

Except they're not like pubs now, they're all poncy bars.

Excuse me.

Excuse the mess.

Financially, cars are cheaper. That's why there's no incentive to go by train.

Five minutes walk to work.

For shouting about nothing,

From beginning to end it was awful, people were getting so cross with me.

Funnily enough, I was thinking about him on the way down.

Gathering the last of the season's harvest.

Gerri, I'm sorry.

Gerri?

Girls in bikinis covered with suntan oil.

Give me a night's sleep, though, wouldn't it?

Give or take.

Give us it.

Go on. Sit yourself down, Mary.

Go to the doctor.

God Almighty!

Good job it didn't rain.

Good luck, partner.

Good shot, partner?

Good.

Good.

Good.

Good. Glass of wine?

Got a son.

Guess where I went the other week.

Had a bit of a wild night, Joe.

Hard man.

Hasn't changed much, has it?

Have a taste.

Have a think.

Have you been eating over the weekend, Ronnie?

Have you come down for a few days?

Have you got any children?

Have you got any particular worries at the moment?

Have you got the keys, Ronnie?

Have you got to go back soon?

Have you got to move?

Have you seen the doctor?

Have you worked with Linda for long?

Have you? I like your hat.

Having to look after yourself.

He always wore black, didn't he?

He could be quite good looking, if he wanted to.

He didn't.

He is a dark horse, our son.

He loved me.

He means, how powerful is it, Mary? How many cubic centimetres?

He must have something on the go, a good looking boy like him.

He should lose a couple of stone, shouldn't he?

He was a good looking man when he was young.

He was lovely.

He was my big love...

He was such a lovely kid, full of fun.

He was very kind to me, actually.

He will agree to adjourn which will then give us time to sort things out, OK?

He won't be back.

He'd bloody better.

He'll be 64 now.

He'll bugger off soon enough.

He's 30 years old, Mary.

He's a bit weird, isn't he?

He's all right.

He's good.

He's got a good heart.

He's got a nice clean bum.

He's great.

He's in no danger of being evicted.

He's only been with us three... no, two years.

He's only known her for five minutes.

He's really nice Ronnie, isn't he?

Hello, Carl.

Hello, Gemma.

Hello, I'm Tom. Ronnie's brother.

Hello, Joe, what a surprise.

Hello, Mary. I'm Tom. I'm his father. I live here.

Hello, mate.

Hello, Tom.

Hello!

Hello?

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. I saw you through the window.

Help yourself. Is there anything you want?

Help yourself. Tuck in.

Here she comes.

Hey, thanks for popping round on Friday. Janey really appreciated it.

Hi, Gerri.

Hi, Joe.

Hi, Ronnie.

Hi, you must be Ronnie. I've heard a lot about you.

Hi.

Hi. Come on in.

Hit you hard when Gordon died, didn't it?

Hiya, Gerri, love.

Hiya.

Hm, you should ask my son about that.

Hm?

Hm.

Hm.

Hm. I don't know.

Hmm, it's quite nice.

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

Honest.

Hooray!

Hope to see you next week, Janet. Same time.

Hope you get your car sorted out.

How about coffee?

How about it?

How about it?

How about that, then?

How about you, Maggie?

How are things with husband?

How are you doing?

How are you managing, Ronnie?

How are you?

How are you?

How did he take that?

How did she go?

How did you handle it?

How environmentally friendly is that?

How is Ronnie? I haven't seen him for years.

How is that dressing coming along?

How long have you worked with her? Are you coming back to the house?

How long will it take us to get back?

How lovely to see you.

How many times a night do you go?

How old do you think I look, Joe?

How old was he?

How you doing?

How you doing?

How's it going?

How's it going?

How's Joe?

How's Joe? Have you heard from him this week?

Huh?

Huh.

Hup! Ha, ha, ha!

I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers,

I am fit to burst. Big boy's wrestling his way down.

I am the resurrection and the life, says the Lord.

I am very environmentally friendly, actually.

I bet he regrets it deep down.

I bet you've got some embarrassing stories.

I blame my big heart.

I bought him a double Scotch. No, I had to challenge him.

I bought myself a bottle of champagne.

I bought you a little present, some thyme.

I broke down on the motorway on the way to Brighton

I brought three bags in, but I must have left the fourth one on the front seat.

I call it a trailer mounted tripod cable percussive boring unit.

I can chill out now and have a nice little glass of wine.

I can give you a description of the house, if you like?

I can't cook.

I can't just chuck her out.

I can't remember.

I can't remember. Five, ten years ago?

I could come up and give you a hand, if you like.

I could take a few days off work.

I couldn't handle it.

I couldn't wake up this morning.

I didn't get to bed till five and then I couldn't sleep.

I didn't know if it was going to be one of your big dinner parties,

I didn't really eat anything yesterday.

I do feel a bit guilty, though, but at the end of the day...

I do.

I don't cook.

I don't fly.

I don't know about that.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I'll have to check my diary.

I don't live in a house that's more than I need.

I don't mind the grey hair.

I don't really smoke.

I don't suppose your son will help you.

I don't think Gerri and Tom would mind.

I don't think I really enjoyed history at school.

I don't think my brother ever missed one home game.

I don't think Ronnie can afford to go now, the price of season tickets.

I expect you're looking forward to being a grandmother.

I expect you're too capable.

I feel a bit guilty.

I feel like I'm being somebody else.

I feel like Thelma and Louise.

I feel really good behind the wheel, really special.

I got in. I thought, that's great, that's done,

I got it ever so cheap. I was really chuffed with myself

I got my diploma. I look after the doctors.

I got my first geologist's job in Western Australia in the outback.

I got three points for speeding, at £60 each.

I got towed away and I wasn't even parked on a double yellow line.

I had a bit of a bad day.

I had a really bad experience in a mini cab once.

I had a really bad experience in a mini cab once.

I had a really nice evening, actually.

I had a wonderful time. They know how to enjoy themselves, the Aussies.

I had my alcoholic tutor in again.

I had some beans.

I had to keep quiet, I got stuck with the home mob.

I had too much to drink last night.

I have a croissant if they haven't got any iced buns.

I have good days and bad days like everyone else, but, hey!

I have to smuggle it in.

I haven't been for months.

I haven't eaten since breakfast.

I haven't got anything in mine.

I haven't had any breakfast.

I haven't lived in Derby for 40 years.

I hear you're both excellent cooks. No pressure.

I hear you're going to the Emerald Isle again, Tom.

I hope he does.

I hope it's not too hot.

I just came on the spur of the moment.

I just don't have those kind of feelings for you, Ken. I'm really sorry.

I just got up and came straight here.

I just have the occasional one or two.

I just wanted to say...

I know it's not easy to talk about personal things.

I know, Gerri, but you're allowed a couple of glasses, aren't you, Tanya?

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I know. At least you'll be able to claim for your window.

I know. How much sleep are you getting at night?

I know. I've got enough food for her.

I left him a message on his answerphone.

I left home at two. I had to ask a policeman in the end, I got so lost.

I let him palm me off with 5,000... nothing pounds

I like to feel that I'm always there for you.

I like to get on the train...

I looked out the windows when we were in Lincolnshire,

I lose count.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not all rosy.

I mean, even though the journey was a complete nightmare,

I mean, every time I looked up, he was looking at me.

I mean, he left me, but...

I mean, I know I see you at work,

I mean, I...

I mean, I've got a little bit of money. Not a lot, but enough.

I mean, just driving here today, I felt like a whole person.

I mean, look what happened when I got divorced from that shit.

I mean, who would I go on holiday with?

I mean, you spend nearly 40 years trying to get people out of the dole queue and into jobs.

I meet these older men, who want somebody younger,

I might have known you'd pull a stunt like this.

I might have to have a little bit of a lie down.

I might move away somewhere else.

I miss you.

I must get it cut.

I noticed.

I saw this fucking tree.

I seem to remember you got banned from a number of pubs in Hull

I should have brought a bottle of wine.

I sometimes wonder what he's doing.

I still hope we might crash back through to the Premiership, at some point.

I still think about that.

I stop at the caff to pick up breakfast.

I suddenly feel...

I suppose so.

I tell you what.

I think I'm a bit overdressed for a Sunday morning. What do you think?

I think I'm gonna have a cigarette before I eat this.

I think it will do you some good.

I think Joe knows what he's doing, actually.

I think so, Gerri.

I think so.

I think that can look quite distinguished on a man of his age, but...

I think that's really sweet.

I think there's room for improvement there, don't you?

I think you'll find that we men are.

I thought you were going to miss me out, Mary.

I told him it was up to him.

I told him when and where.

I understand, sweetheart.

I used to have a drink with Ronnie.

I used to work in Majorca.

I usually get the bus, but if I'm late, I have to leg it, if I miss the bus.

I want you to come out and see it later.

I was falling down them, she was going up them.

I was going to bring you some flowers, Gerri. I just couldn't find anywhere open.

I was more Elvis. Jerry Lee Lewis.

I was out and about, getting my hands dirty.

I was ready for it.

I wasn't manic, like him.

I went nice and early, so it wouldn't be dark when I got back.

I won't ask.

I wouldn't fancy sleeping in a tent, thank you very much.

I wouldn't say that.

I... I... I just wanted to see them.

I'd like my usual.

I'd never want to do that.

I'll be glad when this is over.

I'll get you a beer, Ronnie.

I'll have a smoke with you.

I'll just run upstairs. Is that all right?

I'll just take your blood pressure.

I'll never forgive you for this. You know that, don't you?

I'll put it on your bed. You're in Joe's room.

I'll race you to the top.

I'll ring him later. I'd love to see him.

I'll say.

I'll see you later, all right?

I'll stay in the pubs, you do the walking.

I'll stay in the pubs, you do the walking.

I'll take you briefly through what is going to happen in court.

I'll tell you what.

I'm a friend of Gerri's. I work with her.

I'm a Palace supporter myself, for my sins.

I'm a very good listener.

I'm breaking the law, officer.

I'm dreading getting on that train Sunday night. I always do.

I'm fed up with it, to be honest, Tom.

I'm going to get a bottle of wine.

I'm going to have to be honest with you.

I'm going to run upstairs before we go on the journey.

I'm happy.

I'm here on my own.

I'm just going to run upstairs. Is that all right? I won't be a minute.

I'm living in a poky rented flat when I should have my own home at my age.

I'm Mary.

I'm not doing it on my own. There's a few of us.

I'm not getting any. That's why I'm here.

I'm not going to get a holiday this year.

I'm not meeting the right people. I'm stuck in a rut.

I'm not sure about this.

I'm not telling you.

I'm really sorry about this.

I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry, Tom.

I'm starving.

I'm still not going to tell you.

I've come to surprise you.

I've found you a toothbrush.

I've got my health, touch wood, I've got my independence.

I've got my lovely little garden flat, a good job.

I've got seven parking tickets... no, nine parking tickets.

I've got some really nice stories, actually.

I've got the longest scarf in the world. Sorry.

I've had three punctures.

I've no idea.

If he pops out, give me a shout.

If he thinks about me. I bet he does.

If I got a cleaner in, she'd turn round, walk straight out again.

If I might make so bold, I would suggest that the best plays with the worst, Jack.

If you straighten it up and push up your sleeve...

If you want to come...

In fact, I'm not doing anything this weekend, so I'll get up really early,

In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life,

In this world and the next.

In you go.

Inexorably.

Is Gerri in?

Is he a good dad?

Is he a nappy changer?

Is he married?

Is he now?

Is he?

Is it all right if I make one for myself?

Is it your wife that's just passed away?

Is she eating all right? I don't know, something like that.

Is she gone?

Is she?

Is the sale of new cars.

Ish.

Isle of Wight Festival, 1968.

It cost me nearly £500 and I never even got my weekend in Brighton.

It doesn't get any easier. Job for a younger man, this.

It is a surprise. Shall I take that from you?

It keeps making funny noises.

It leaves a nasty taste, doesn't it?

It might give her a purpose in life.

It might have been nice if you'd phoned first, Mary.

It might take 20 minutes to turn up. We haven't got time.

It must be really boring looking after old people.

It rem...

It reminded me of his funeral.

It sounds amazing. What are you working on at the moment?

It takes two to tango.

It was a very nice service.

It was him and a load of Australian cowboys.

It was the year your mum died.

It was very upsetting, actually.

It was, wasn't it? Simple, straightforward.

It will be brilliant for Christmas shopping.

It'll be fine.

It'll be good practice for me.

It'll be signposted.

It's a good job it didn't get pinched, isn't it?

It's a lovely little car.

It's about this big, I think.

It's all changed.

It's all down to this.

It's all right for you two, you've got each other.

It's all right. Hurry up. Your train is going in a minute.

It's been a pleasure, Mary.

It's Carl.

It's disappointing.

It's exhausting all the time, just getting up and down the stairs, knocks her out.

It's extraordinary.

It's given me a lot of stress, Tom.

It's going to rain again.

It's got nothing to do with me.

It's great to see you both. Cheers.

It's hard, isn't it?

It's Joe.

It's just I have to get back to work.

It's just that the older you get, the more relevant it seems.

It's lovely and clear.

It's lovely the way you and Tom do everything together.

It's lovely to see you, Joe. I'll see you soon, I hope.

It's messy, isn't it?

It's my little present to me.

It's never too late, Mary.

It's nice when that happens, isn't it?

It's not fair.

It's not your fault, Ken.

It's obviously serious.

It's only me!

It's peaceful here.

It's really lovely to be here.

It's really lovely to have someone to talk to.

It's so exciting, isn't it?

It's so lovely having you next to me, Joe, telling me where to go and what to do.

It's the young person's prerogative to be noisy.

It's tragic.

It's very kind of you, Mary.

Jack and Janey.

Janet, I want to help you. That's why we're here.

Joe and I have shared some really special moments, haven't we?

Joe and Katie will be all right. They can handle her.

Joe Hepple, nice to meet you.

Joe likes her.

Joe used to love it here.

Joe, is there another chair in there?

Joe!

Just because of that Steve. He's a right fascist.

Just follow me this way, please.

Just for a few days, a week.

Just get my boots off.

Just here will do.

Just like his dad.

Just to wait for them?

Just turns up out of the blue, doesn't he?

Katie.

Katie.

Ken, we like you.

Ken?

Ken.

Ken.

Let's talk about it on Tuesday.

Life's not always kind, is it?

Like Gerri was what?

Linda's heartbroken.

Live life while you can. Don't think about tomorrow.

Loads of times. Gerri's always giving me stuff, aren't you, Gerri?

Look after yourself, Ronnie.

Look at the food in this fridge.

Look at you!

Looks good.

Lovely. I'll make some tea.

Mary, I wasn't angry with you. I just felt you'd let me down.

Mary.

Mary's here.

Mate, got to get your train. We should get cracking. I'll run you to the station.

Matt's getting married.

May God give you his comfort and his peace, his light and his joy,

May God give you his comfort and his peace, his light and his joy,

Maybe I did.

Maybe, but it might not solve your problem.

Me and my best friend, Monica.

Mm!

Mm! Oh, no, hey.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

More cars! More cars! At least I'm buying an old car.

Most of my friends have gone.

Mr Gupta?

My car broke down. It had to be towed away.

My exhaust has fallen off. I had to get a new one. My carburettor went.

My goodness.

My looks work against me.

My supervisor.

My two favourite men.

Nah, no, no, no, no.

Nah.

Need a bit more than that, though, don't you?

Nepal, trekking in Nepal. The beach at Goa.

Never come between a mother and her son.

Nice.

No breakthroughs?

No financial problems?

No government wants to increase the duty on aviation fuel.

No, but I'm really comfortable with where I am in my life, as you know.

No, but it was lovely having a lie in on my day off.

No, but these kids, they're just bloody noisy.

No, but what I mean is, he doesn't want to rush into anything.

No, I don't think so.

No, I don't, Mary.

No, I investigate the ground beneath our feet

No, I love it.

No, I never had you down as one of nature's Girl Guides, Mary.

No, I wasn't sure what to wear.

No, I won't.

No, I'm all right, thank you.

No, I'm great, actually.

No, I'm not one for culture.

No, I'm not, actually.

No, I've had a couple. Oh, go on, just a smidgeon.

No, it isn't, Gerri.

No, it keeps a girl happy, though.

No, it's all right, Ken. I can pour my own wine, thank you very much.

No, it's all right. I'll have one of mine.

No, Mature woman with cat.

No, Maturish. We don't want to put them off, do we?

No, no. You're all right.

No, not in the same way.

No, she went off with her sister. You remember?

No, still quiet on that front.

No, thank you.

No, thank you.

No, that's Paul.

No, Tom.

No, what I mean is, that's all right. You're comfortable with that.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. I don't know what that's got to do with it.

No. Me and my dad used to stand with him on the terraces.

No. No.

No. They'd guarantee the labour for three months, but not the parts. Bastards.

No. You're right.

Nobody...?

None from you, either.

None of your business. All I need is a good night's sleep

Nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation

Nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Not any more, they're not.

Not as long as that, no.

Not environmentally.

Not lost your sense of humour, then?

Not me. I'm talking about you lot in the caring professions.

Nothing changes.

Nothing you want to share with me?

Now, I will give you something to help you sleep but just enough for a week.

Now, you're obviously anxious, and a little depressed.

Obviously, it's a sizeable correspondence

Of being free from the tyranny of regular employment.

Of course you could. It was three streets away.

Off we go.

Oh, are they?

Oh, aye?

Oh, beg your pardon, Mrs Pankhurst.

Oh, brilliant.

Oh, but, yeah, you wanna be careful, Joe, because...

Oh, bye, then. But lovely to see you.

Oh, do you know Ken?

Oh, don't remind me! I'm really guilty about that.

Oh, for God's sake.

Oh, Gerri.

Oh, Gerri.

Oh, God, I didn't lock it.

Oh, God, Joe.

Oh, God. All right. Let me pull in.

Oh, good.

Oh, great. Has he got a girlfriend?

Oh, hasn't he grown? He's got ever so big.

Oh, have they gone to the allotment?

Oh, he's asleep.

Oh, he's back. That was quick, Tom.

Oh, here comes Ken.

Oh, hi.

Oh, how are you, Joe?

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I don't know. Anyway... my windscreen wiper got ripped off.

Oh, I don't think so. I tried making a fruit cake once.

Oh, I'll be all right.

Oh, I'm not going to burgle you or anything.

Oh, I'm really sorry.

Oh, I'm so stupid. Why do I always spoil everything?

Oh, I'm so stupid. Why do I always spoil everything?

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't recognise him.

Oh, I'm sure you contribute.

Oh, is he? Matt with the guitar?

Oh, it's all right. You don't have to answer that.

Oh, it's coming out my ears.

Oh, it's lovely having your dinner cooked for you.

Oh, Joe, we must go out and have a drink one night.

Oh, let's not open that can of worms.

Oh, lovely. Thank you, Gerri. Give my love to that lovely Tom.

Oh, Mathew!

Oh, Matt, yeah.

Oh, no, but he was very, very, sexy, Gerri. Do you know what I mean?

Oh, no, don't remind me about that, Gerri.

Oh, no, go on, then. For old time's sake.

Oh, no, I don't want to do that.

Oh, no, I know it isn't, Joe,

Oh, no, the journey was all right. It's the car.

Oh, oh.

Oh, please, I'll take you anywhere you want. I'll take you home.

Oh, same old, same old.

Oh, so you think it was my fault, Gerri?

Oh, sorry to hear that. Oh, I'm starving.

Oh, sorry, Tom. I'm in your way.

Oh, sorry. Where's Janey?

Oh, stop it.

Oh, stroke rehab. I thought you said straight rehab.

Oh, tasty.

Oh, thank you, Tom. That's what all the boys say.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, thanks for saving me that breakfast. It was really delicious.

Oh, thanks, Gerri.

Oh, this is my second one, Gerri.

Oh, Tom, sorry.

Oh, Tom.

Oh, we can stay in here, can't we? They won't know.

Oh, we really miss you at work, don't we, Gerri?

Oh, well, I don't know. Something small and... red.

Oh, well, I thought you wouldn't mind cos we're outside.

Oh, well, onwards and upwards.

Oh, what you mean...?

Oh, yeah, I can take them on the tube.

Oh, yeah, I know, yeah. Well, that's boys' stuff, isn't it?

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Oh, yeah, they're both gone now.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. All right?

Oh, yeah. And it'll follow the path of the Thames for 20 miles,

Oh, yeah. My friend used to roll her own.

Oh, you mean...

Oh, your first day!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! I stayed up watching the film.

Oh! I'm sorry, I just had to have a cigarette

Oh! It still smells the same.

Oh! No need to slam the door.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh... Come here.

Oh... Oh, no, they don't.

Ohh!

Oi, where are you going?

OK, if you just lean forward and take a few deep breaths, in through your mouth.

OK, now we've opened all these letters,

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK. It's just going to go tight.

On a Friday night, everybody would go to the pub for a drink, go for a curry.

On a scale of one to ten...

On the back there's numbers, like 1.6 or 1.9.

One day.

Only I've just had a bad experience on the tube.

Ooh, about 20 years, haven't we, Mary?

Ooh, I don't know. Why? Do you give names to things?

Ooh.

Or not, as the case may be.

Or straight men, who tried being gay, but want to be rehabilitated into straight.

Other way round, isn't it? Parts for three months, not labour.

Our house used to shake.

Ours did. They all did.

Pass me the parsley.

Plastic Penny.

Pow! What are you going to do with me, eh?

Pub culture.

Pub.

Pyjamas. Get some shirts.

Really liberated.

Really upsetting.

Remember Plastic Penny?

Right, well, we'd... best be started.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Robert Saunter. I shall be taking the service.

Ronnie. Tom's my brother.

Satisfied?

Say hello. Don't mind the funny lady.

Say, your daughter, and said, I haven't been sleeping for months.

See, I got married in my 20s and, granted he was the wrong man,

Seeing as he's been in hospital for the past ten weeks.

Serious, we'll go in the autumn.

Shall I take your coats, ladies?

She could do with losing a few pounds, but she's not getting any exercise, so...

She knew you were coming, so she baked a cake!

She looks after stroke victims and the elderly.

She passed the test.

She was a lovely lady.

She were dead when I woke up.

She's a bit under the weather this afternoon.

She's almost like an auntie to him.

She's something else.

Shoes, clothes, jewellery, my knick knacky things.

Should I stop recycling, then, Gerri?

Sit yourself down, Mary. Help yourself to another drink.

Sleeping tablets won't make it go away. We need to find the cause.

Small and red? Well, that narrows it down.

So anything we do is a piss in the ocean.

So have you two worked together for a long time?

So how long's this been going on for?

So I had to go to the cash point on Wednesday and Thursday and Friday.

So I want you to come back and speak to our counsellor.

So where's Carl?

So which course did you do? Secretarial?

So, hang on. When did he stay with us in London?

So, I couldn't collect it till after work on Friday.

So, I had to get the train home and then the train back to Crawley the next day

So, I hear you're a massive Derby fan, Ronnie.

So, I rush out and my window's been smashed.

So, I spent the whole of my lunch break on Friday sorting that out

So, I'll... Excuse me.

So, I've got nine points on my driving licence.

So, is it every man for himself or are we having teams?

So, is there anyone special in your life at the moment, Joe?

So, it's quite a big number.

So, this father and son team.

So, we didn't have to do it on a really tight budget.

So, what is it you do, then, Jackie?

So, when are we going to have this drink?

So, when are you inviting her round next?

So, when's it going to be your turn?

So, will you give me some sleeping tablets?

Sod all.

Some of us already are.

Some people could just hitch, but we could get buses and trains.

Some people wear a ring.

Sometimes.

Sorry I'm late. I'm sorry.

Sorry I'm such a mess.

Sorry, I got carried away. I didn't mean to.

Sorry.

Sorry. He made me hide behind the door.

Sort my winter clothes into plastic bags and shove them under the bed.

Sort myself out, ta.

Sort what out?

Sounds nice.

Sounds to me like he was a duplicitous shit.

Spain. Nightmare.

Start again.

Stay in nice pubs along the way. What do you reckon?

Still on your own, are you?

Still, it's been really good to meet you both, though, and we had a lovely lunch.

Stood me up, the bitch.

Stroke rehab.

Suppose the boot was on the other foot, and someone came to you,

Surprised you passed the test. I'd have got rid of you on the spot.

Sweetheart, I'll do more than shout.

Ta ta.

Ta.

Take as long as it takes.

Take your time.

Takes me back.

Tanya, GP from work.

Teams.

Tell you what.

Thank you, Katie.

Thank you, Mary, but I'm fine.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. God bless you.

Thanks for coming. Sorry about this.

Thanks, Joe.

Thanks, Mary.

Thanks, mate.

Thanks, Mum.

Thanks.

Thanks.

That a couple of months of proper sleep would sort it out.

That doesn't count. Everybody gets takeaways.

That they may be conformed to his glorious body,

That was supposed to be my summer holiday.

That's all right.

That's correct. Rent a cottage, take the car.

That's exactly why I'm getting it.

That's great.

That's just calling a spade a spade, isn't it?

That's the spirit.

That's the spirit.

That's what you wanted, wasn't it, Ronnie? Nothing fancy.

The aptly named.

The geologist stands on the beach

The only time I went on holiday was with Pam.

The question is, if he'll turn up.

The sleeping.

The what?

The wonderful thing was, because I'd been in... two years working in Australia,

Then we'll put you on the train back home.

Then, of course, there's yourself, sir. The guest of honour.

There you are, Ronnie.

There you go.

There you go.

There you go.

There's another one coming up behind us. You can't wait.

There's food out here when you want it.

There's glass everywhere

There's nobody, let's face it.

There's nothing for me in Hull any more.

There's wine on it.

These bars, you know, they're full of young people shouting about nothing.

They didn't say nothing.

They don't like old fogies.

They don't want to know.

They invite me a lot. We're really old friends.

They said it wasn't worth repairing. They gave me 20 quid for it.

They seem to connect.

They were a nice couple of guys. I think they were brothers.

They were all right.

They'll be back soon.

They're coming round later.

Think about it.

This car's been a catalogue of disaster, hasn't it?

This cheese is gorgeous, though. Thank you.

This could be the making of you, Mary.

This is a lovely big kitchen, isn't it?

This is a surprise. How are you?

This is for you, Tom.

This is my brother, Ronnie, Linda's husband.

This is my brother, Ronnie.

This is Robert, your minister.

This little car is going to change my life.

This monster hid this young lady behind the sitting room door.

This must have been a bit of a shock for you.

This way.

Those are my carbon footprints, Gerri.

Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live.

To find out what time I was going to go round with the money.

To him be glory forever.

To London.

To state the bleeding obvious.

To test the feasibility of various engineering and building projects.

Tom!

Tom?

Tom.

Tom's been to Brazil, digging his holes.

Tom's got a nice face, too.

Too much information.

Touch wood.

Tried it a few times.

Unfortunately.

Up to 80 metres underground.

Very kind.

Very nice.

Very sad.

Very sad.

Was he?

Was she nice?

We best get going.

We came down to London, didn't we? For about nine months.

We got the boat from Fremantle to Singapore

We had a barbeque that day, didn't we?

We had some tomatoes from Tom and Gerri's allotment. Have you tasted them?

We have entrusted our sister, Linda Margaret, to God's mercy,

We have to go out there.

We haven't got time for this.

We look after old people, don't we, Gerri?

We met on our first day at university in Manchester.

We stay cheerful, you know? We don't let things get us down.

We used to.

We were in the same halls of residence.

We were noisy, weren't we?

We'd both been stood up by our dates.

We'll be off soon.

We'll be part of history soon.

We'll find you a T shirt again.

We'll just finish these.

We'll put the case to the judge...

We'll see you there, then.

We'll see you when we see you.

We're all fine.

We're expecting Ronnie's son, Carl, to be here,

We're going back to the house, to your mum's.

We're going to the Ring of Kerry.

We've brought back some lovely tomatoes.

We've learnt to live with it over the years.

We've saved you some food, Mary.

We've seen a few off from there, haven't we?

Well, a lot of my friends are getting married.

Well, have a lovely day together, all of you.

Well, he's only young, isn't he?

Well, I don't know.

Well, I don't know. We'll have to see.

Well, I don't like it.

Well, I don't really smoke, normally.

Well, I hope so.

Well, I think you should.

Well, I'd best be off.

Well, I'll come and find you if I need you.

Well, it's small and red. It's what you asked for.

Well, let's hope so.

Well, that's beside the point. You need independent, professional help.

Well, that's up to him.

Well, the good news is, Mary, I've made a cake in your honour.

Well, the thing is, Joe, you're young. You still want to be out there, don't you?

Well, we all grow old.

Well, we all have to make choices, don't we?

Well, we might have to look at that, mightn't we?

Well, we think of you as his auntie.

Well, we'll try and leave it as we find it.

Well, what about the airlines?

Well, what can you do, Tom?

Well, why not?

Well, yeah.

Well, you are, aren't you?

Well, you know.

Well, you're here now.

Well...

What about at home?

What am I doing this for? Save my mam the trouble?

What are we going to do with you, then, eh?

What are you doing here, you daft bugger?

What are you doing riding on the pavement, young man?

What are you going to call this car?

What CC is your car?

What do you do?

What do you mean?

What do you reckon to Derby's chances?

What do you reckon?

What do you think, Tom?

What else would you say?

What else you been up to?

What is the one thing that would improve your life, apart from sleep?

What makes you think I'm a secretary?

What thanks do you get? I'm sick of it!

What was your wife's name?

What would you ask her?

What would you do with your time if you retired, Ken?

What would you say to them?

What would you say was the happiest moment in your life?

What, for gay men who are on the turn?

What, not even little Percy?

What, sowing my wild oats?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What's for supper?

What's it about?

What's straight rehab?

What's straight rehab?

What's your name?

Whatever happened to that drink we were gonna have?

Whatever it takes.

When did we last see him?

When he can be bothered.

When I started at work, we'd all socialise together.

When my dad was in the home, I'd go to Derby, he was always in the pub.

When they find out that...

When was the last time you sat on a bike?

When was the last time you saw Carl?

When you were a young person.

When your children were born?

Where's the stag do this time? Buenos Aires?

Which is going to alleviate the pressure on London's Victorian sewage system.

Which is great, I couldn't do that before I had the car.

Which is the last place I want to go, because I grew up there and I hate it.

Whilst the geologist's wife stands on the beach

Who died, was buried and rose again for us.

Who else is coming to the barbeque?

Who else is coming to the barbeque?

Who keep their lights on all night in empty office blocks.

Who sorted all this lot out?

Who will transform our frail bodies

Who's that a knocking on my door?

Why couldn't you wait?

Why do I always get it wrong, Gerri?

Why don't I have a word with one of my colleagues?

Why don't you come back with us?

Why don't you help me lay the table?

Will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

With her back to the cliffs looking at the sea.

With his back to the sea and looks at the cliffs

With his girlfriend?

Would you like me to make you a cup of tea?

Would you like some salad, Ken?

Would you like to stay for a bite to eat?

Wouldn't mind a cigarette, though.

Yeah, because I thought you went there, didn't you, the two of you, Argentina?

Yeah, but, you know.

Yeah, I am and I like it like that, you know.

Yeah, I did my big weekly supermarket shop yesterday,

Yeah, I did.

Yeah, I know, I know. It's all my own fault.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I know. Very fragile, in't he, your brother?

Yeah, I wouldn't mind having the recipe for that. I've never baked a cake before.

Yeah, I'll be all right.

Yeah, I'll see you soon, then.

Yeah, I'm all right.

Yeah, I'm not going to introduce you to everyone though.

Yeah, I'm really well, thanks, Ken.

Yeah, it's a nightmare. I had to come on the tube.

Yeah, Saint Gerri.

Yeah, we could have a drink.

Yeah, we just gone through. This is the fourth, so I reckon, what, 17½?

Yeah, well, we've known each other a while, haven't we? We're old friends.

Yeah, well...

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right.

Yeah, you know.

Yeah, you're all right. Go on.

Yeah, you're all right. Go on.

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. But, they wanted cash.

Yeah. Chef/boyfriend required for gorgeous girl.

Yeah. Did he go to the funeral?

Yeah. Got a few things to sort out.

Yeah. It took us seven months, I think.

Yeah. We spent Christmas on the beach.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yep, that's one of the advantages

Yep, yeah. Watch and learn, Ken.

Yes, and I know you apologised.

Yes, but will you see the counsellor?

Yes, but, Tom...

Yes, I know.

Yes, I'm Tom Hepple. I think we spoke on the phone.

Yes, London clay. Thank you.

Yes, Mary, I'm fine.

Yes, Mary, they do.

Yes, of course.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yet we're constantly told that the measure of a thriving economy

You and me, we'll walk from Edale to Matlock Bath.

You and me, we'll walk from Edale to Matlock Bath.

You are going deaf.

You are stuck in a rut. That's why you can't face retirement.

You are welcome.

You can give them both a lift. All in the same direction.

You can make an appointment at reception. All right?

You can never tell with chillies.

You can't drive a car without insurance. It's illegal.

You can't go on like this, that's for sure.

You can't take it back to the guys you got it from?

You can't walk around with a label saying,

You could hear the roar of the crowd from the front room.

You could put an ad in the paper Chef wanted.

You could try a cultural holiday.

You didn't get your arse in gear, Ronnie?

You didn't say you were having lunch.

You don't really bother when you're by yourself.

You employed a cleaner yet?

You get takeaways, don't you?

You get to a certain age... I can't go to the places I used to.

You get to know them really well and, well...

You get used to it though, Ronnie.

You got kids?

You gotta get it sorted out, Ken.

You have to take responsibility for your actions.

You know.

You look like Tom.

You look like you're fit to burst.

You mean, is he worthy of her?

You might as well, until you feel a bit better.

You must come again. Now you don't know the way.

You need to talk to somebody.

You see, I can't afford to buy my car and have a holiday.

You see, I like just taking off and escaping, don't I, Gerri?

You see, the thing about you and me is that we've always just sort of clicked.

You should come out and have a drink with us sometime, me and your mum.

You shouldn't drive if you're drinking.

You sit there, Mr Gupta, and... l'll pop you there.

You sit yourself down.

You sure you don't want some tea?

You think about it for a moment.

You think it's going to stop, don't you?

You used to leave Carl at your mum's on a Saturday afternoon. Remember?

You were a naughty boy.

You won't be. We've got plenty of food.

You wouldn't tell me what was in it.

You'd be much happier.

You'd better get a move on.

You'd better stay the night.

You're a good bloke, you're good on the darts,

You're a good cook.

You're a sight for sore eyes.

You're absolutely right, Mary.

You're coming for supper on Saturday.

You're joking, aren't you?

You're like me.

You're nice and slim.

You're on.

You're perfect. Gorgeous in every way.

You're perfect. Gorgeous in every way.

You're your own woman. The world's your oyster.

You've already met my knee, then?

You've been there before, haven't you?

You've been to the Greek Islands, haven't you, Mary?

You've built whole motorways, Tom.

You've got a nice face.

You've got to understand that.

You've had too much to drink, Tom.

You've taken your time to come and see me, haven't you?

Young people, young people. Everything's for young people.

Your blood pressure is slightly up, but I'm not overly concerned about that.

Your dad's coming home with us for a couple of days.

Your kids will enjoy playing in here, won't they?

Your mum gave me a pot of basil. Smell that.

Your nicest memory.

35, looks 12, treats me like a child. Bloody graduate.

60?

64? Blimey, he's older than me.

70?

1896, penny farthing.

1979.

'Ey up, Carl. Excuse me, mate.

'Ey up. Hiya.

17½? It's got to be a scour hollow. Probably.

25, with traffic. Are you hungry? I am.

A different life. A different life.

A long time. A year?

A pleasure. Lovely to meet you. You, too.

About quarter to ten? Yeah, 9:50.

Afghanistan. Iran. Turkey.

Ah, brilliant. What are we having to drink?

Ah, the bonding of the jilted. Something like that.

Ah! It's nothing special.

Aha! Aha!

Aha! Aha!

All right, Mick? All right.

Almost a pensioner. He'll be past it now, Mary.

And a tea cosy on my head. Come and meet Ronnie.

and I know you don't like the smell. Don't be daft.

And what are you looking at? I'm looking at you, Carl.

And what do they do, Katie? Oh, my dad's a postman

And you can't cook. No. Well, I can a bit.

Apart from that, how are you doing? I still feel like shit.

Are they still at home with you? Son is, works with his father.

Are you all ready? Yeah.

Are you all right, Gerri? Yes, Mary, I'm fine.

Are you all right? I'm great. How are you?

Are you all right? Yeah.

Are you all right? Yeah.

Are you going to change? Yeah.

Are you knackered? I'm ready for bed.

Are you local, then, Frank? Aye, aye, I'm just a few streets down.

Are you ready? Yeah. Yeah, go on.

Are you sure? I'll be fine. I could do with a walk.

Are you sure? Yeah, and then that's it.

Are you sure? Yeah.

Are you sure? Yeah.

Are you surprised? Of course I am.

Are you working? Don't need an interrogation.

Are you? Mm.

Are you? Yeah, I've decided it's about time.

Are you? Yeah.

Aren't you? Am I?

As long as you cleaned the sheets. No, I didn't. Is that a problem?

At choo! I knew it!

At the Royal Free. That's a great hospital.

Aye, go on, then. Yeah.

Aye, we have over the years. Aye.

Barbie on the beach? Yeah.

Beautiful. In the Marais area. Oh, yeah?

Bit of a mess, but it suits me. Yeah.

Bugger off! Hello, Tom, mate.

But it's not really my thing. No, it's not.

Bye bye, Sam. Bye.

Bye Joe. Bye.

Bye, Joe. Yeah, take care.

Bye, Katie. Bye.

Bye, then. OK, bye.

Bye, then. Bye. Yeah.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. See you soon.

Can I come in the middle? Of course you can.

Can I get you a drink? Got one somewhere.

Can I have a little glass, please? Sure?

Can I take your things? Yeah, cheers.

Can I top you up? No, I'm going now, Mary.

Can you cook? Nah.

Can you process these for me? Oh, well, seeing as it's you.

Can't or won't? Mm?

Can't you? No.

Carl. What?

Carl's 41. Bloody hell.

Come and sit down, Mary. Have a seat, Mary.

Corfu. Yeah.

Delicious. Present for you.

Did she? Shut it.

Did you care for her, Carl? Tom?

Did you? I beg your pardon?

Did you? Yeah, a free spirit.

Didn't you get the manure? Compost.

Didn't you? No.

Dingle Bay. Oh, lovely.

Do you recognise Joe? I've grown a bit.

Do you smoke? Yeah.

Do you want a drink, Carl? You got tea, beers...

Do you want a hand? Yes, please.

Do you want me to give you a hand? No, thank you, Mary.

Do you want this? Yeah.

Do you want to go through? Thank you.

Don't blame me. It's not his fault.

Don't do your back in. I know.

Don't forget to give me a ring. No, I won't.

Don't forget to give me the recipe. No, I won't forget, Katie.

Dusting of mica. Let's have a look.

Eh? There's none from you.

Eight years for me, now. Is it?

Er... yeah. Great club.

Everything all right? Yes.

Excuse me, Carl. I'll do that, Gerri.

Excuse me, I've got a bit of work to do. All right.

Excuse me. Hm?

From London? Yeah.

Gerri said... Yes.

Get yourself that lawn mower. I know.

Give us a chance. Oh, yeah.

Give us your bag. I'm bursting for a pee.

Give us your hand. Oh, no, Tom.

Good idea. In other words, you're with Ken.

Good, thanks. Excellent.

Good. We'll see you there. Do you have transport?

Goodbye, Mary. Bye.

Great. Is that all right with you, Mary? Yeah, of course it is.

Have breakfast by the Seine. Have you got your hotel booked?

Have one of these, Mary. It's all right. I've got my own, thank you.

Have we heard from Joe? No.

Have you come back to me? I have.

Have you got any kids? Yes.

Have you met the lady in question? Certainly have.

Haven't I, Gerri? Yes.

Haven't we? Yeah.

Haven't you? No.

Haven't you? No.

He didn't need to, we offered. Did you?

He was pissed as a fart. Really?

He's 70 now, you know. Is he?

He's a good lad. Yes.

He's a hungry bugger. Is he?

He's coming tomorrow. Oh, that's a shame. I won't see him.

He's fine. You'll see him on Sunday. He's well.

Hello, Mary. Bloody hell!

Hello, Mary. Hi, Gerri.

Hello, Mary. Sorry I'm so late.

Hello, Mary. It's nice to meet you. Oh, hi.

Hello, Ronnie. We're back.

Hello! Aha!

Hello. He's Linda's husband.

Hello. Hello, how are you?

Hello. Hello. Mr Hepple?

Hello. Katie, this is Mary. Mary, this is Katie.

Help yourself. Thank you.

Here. Oh...

Here's Joe! Hi, Mary.

Hi, Gerri. Hello, Mary.

Hi, Gerri. Hi.

Hi, Joe. Hi.

Hi, Joe. Hi.

Hi, Katie. Hi, Mary. How are you?

Hi, Ken, how are you? I'm all right.

Hi, Ken. Are you all right? Yeah.

Hi, Tanya. Hello.

Hi, Tom. What are you doing here?

His wife's just died. His wife.

Hmm. Gardener/chef/ boyfriend. Yeah!

Ho, ho, ho! Who'd you cheer for? Derby, of course.

How about you? Disappointing.

How are you doing? Oh, I'm all right.

How are you, Carl? All right. You?

How are you, Mary? Yeah, I'm really good, thanks, yeah.

How are you? Fine.

How are you? I'm snowed under, to be honest,

How is she? Not good.

How long did it take? About an hour.

How long will this take? Not too long.

How much alcohol are you drinking? I don't drink. My husband drinks.

How was your day? Good.

How was your journey? It was all right.

I always call it a shovel. You call it a fork.

I cared for her in my own way. Carl.

I could come down and see you. Take your hand off of me, please, Ken!

I could have gone two years ago. Why didn't you?

I did tell you. Did you?

I did. Obviously not enough.

I didn't know he had it in him. My enigmatic son.

I didn't say that. No, I know you didn't, really.

I don't care. We know.

I don't know how to get to King's Cross. I do. We can all go together.

I don't know what to do. Well, if you don't, I don't.

I don't know, not so bad. Well, fingers crossed.

I don't know. I'm really cold.

I don't know. I'm really cold.

I feel like shit. You look like shit.

I feel terrible. This is my family, Mary.

I gotta go back there, any road, so... All right. We'll see you there.

I haven't seen you since Christmas. Really?

I hope it's still warm. Oh, thanks, Gerri. That will be fine.

I investigate... You dig holes.

I just came with him. Ah, good.

I knew you were going to do that! Ha, ha, ha!

I knew. Oh, no, I haven't bought a hat.

I like whatshername. Katie?

I like you, Mary. Can I phone you? No, Ken. No.

I like your coat. Oh, thank you.

I might head off in a minute. All right, then, Mary.

I never do. No, you're a good boy, aren't you?

I only went to college in Croydon. Oh, right. Which college?

I still am from time to time. Oh, really?

I think there's one under the bed. Right.

I thought Joe might be coming. I don't think so.

I wanted it to be a surprise. You've bought a car?

I was falling up them. Things haven't changed, then.

I will. You take care. Yeah.

I'd love one. Great. Are you sure?

I'd love to go to India. We went trekking in Nepal.

I'll be fine on the tube, honest. It's a great idea.

I'll do you some fresh, if you like. Oh, no, don't worry about me.

I'll get in the front now. Oh, no, Ken.

I'll get it! All right.

I'll get out your way. Shall we take Isaac over there?

I'll give you a ring in the week. We'll have a proper game next time.

I'll give you some to take home, Mary. Oh, great.

I'll have what everyone else is having. Red wine for me.

I'll have white wine as well, please. Beer, Ronnie?

I'll just go and change. Let me get out of this filthy clobber.

I'll put the kettle on. The sooner the better.

I'll see you later. Yeah.

I'll see you on Tuesday. Yes.

I'll speak to you later. Bye.

I'll stick this away. All right.

I'm all right. We can get him a mini cab.

I'm an occupational therapist. Oh, are you? Where do you work?

I'm fine, how are you? I'm good.

I'm good. Oh, you look great.

I'm not sure Mary can manage that. Of course I can. Oh, I don't know.

I'm really sorry. Oh, don't be daft.

I'm starving, Gerri, you know me. We'll have to fatten you up.

I'm starving. She's starving.

I'm Tom Hepple. Oh, yes.

I'm trying to give up, aren't I, Gerri? Oh, are you?

I've got a surprise for you. Oh, Joe, you shouldn't have.

I've got names for everything. Really?

I've neglected it, haven't I? Yes, you have.

I've only got an hour. That's all right.

If it's nice we might do a bit of camping. Oh, no.

In my nightmares. Oh, it's as bad as that, is it?

Is anyone sitting here? No.

Is he still there? Oh, yeah.

Is it OK? What happened?

Is life treating you kind? Can't complain.

Is she worthy of him? No, they hate each other.

Is that it? It's all over, Carl.

Is that what you wore in bed? I slept in your bed. Is that all right?

Is there anything on it? Bottle of wine.

Is Tom here? No, they're out.

It could be just us. Just you and me?

It was good to see you. Oh, thank you, Tom.

It was like the Wild West out there. Yeah, all cork hats and beers.

It won't be finished till after I'm dead. Oh, no.

It wouldn't start. Oh, no.

It's a big step. I know. It's exciting, isn't it?

It's a nice spot that, isn't it? Mm.

It's gigantic. Shut up!

It's great this. Thank you.

It's just a dusting, isn't it? Yeah.

It's lovely to meet you. Hello.

It's not fair, is it? No.

It's not important. No, Tanya.

It's not that easy, is it? Isn't it?

It's not your house. It is, as much as it is his.

It's pretty good. Do you specialise?

It's probably kids. I think you're right.

It's stopped raining, thank goodness. I know.

It's you! Ah, right!

Joe and Katie are coming. Yeah, Ronnie said.

Joe tells me you're a counsellor, Gerri. Yes, I am, for my sins.

Katie, lovely to see you. Ahh, lovely to see you.

Katie. Don't worry. An occupational therapist.

Late night? Hangover.

Left round the one way system. Yeah. OK.

Like what? Well, my nose is called Roger.

Linda. Oh.

Linda's still working. She's kept him all his life.

Look at his muscles. That's why we had him.

Look at the state of her. I know. Poor woman.

Made me jump. I nearly gave poor Tom a heart attack.

Maniacs. Oh...

Mary. Oh, Mary.

Mary's coming for tea. Oh, I was right.

Mary's known Joe since he was ten. No way!

Mind your own business. We're talking about you, not to you.

Mm. So how's your flat, Ken?

Mm. We wanted you all to ourselves, Mary.

Motorway was fucked up. Should have taken that into account.

Mr Hepple? Yes.

Mum, Dad, this is Katie. Hello.

My big secret. Oh, thanks very much.

My mum and dad know all about you. Do they now?

My partner. Oh, yes.

Nice bit of parking, Mary. Oh.

No post for me, then? No.

No, but I'm sure he's fine. Still no girlfriend?

No, Dublin. Ooh, lovely.

No, I don't think so. Not that we know of.

No, I haven't. I think you have.

No, I'll be fine on the tube. You don't want to get a mini cab.

No, I'll do it. No, you leave it.

No, let's leave that closed. Not today, anyway.

No, no. I'm all right, ta. Sure?

No, we didn't, no. No.

No. No, '95.

No. No?

No. Oh, good.

No. Oh, this is lovely. Hiya, Jack.

No. Oh.

No. You've got to set an example.

Nothing special. I thought it was special.

Now, then. Hello, boss.

of being a mean bastard? Yeah, I am.

Of course you can. You can have a cake off!

Oh, about three months ago, wasn't it? Yeah.

Oh, all right. Well, I think I'm going to stay for a little while.

Oh, continental! He's all sweaty. I've been riding all morning.

Oh, crushed ribs. Sorry.

Oh, dear. It was a bit unsettling, to be honest.

Oh, God! What's happened?

Oh, great. Mary's here.

Oh, he's a dark horse. I wanted to keep you a secret.

Oh, I am. Like Gerri was.

Oh, it's just the three of us tonight? Yes.

Oh, it's really lovely to see you. You too.

Oh, Joe, where do I go? Straight ahead.

Oh, no, give them back! You'll never see them again.

Oh, no, it wasn't actually. Didn't get lost again, did you?

Oh, right. Yes, she's... Yes.

Oh, sorry to hear that. Oh, no.

Oh, sorry. Good shot, Jack. Thank you.

Oh, thanks, Tom. I'll give him to you.

Oh, there he is. Hello, love.

Oh, what a beauty. Lovely.

Oh, yeah, so we are! You forgot.

Oh, yeah, the baby. I'm sorry, Tanya.

Oh, yeah? What do you work at?

Oh, you didn't say. I didn't want to spoil the surprise.

Oh. You should know that.

Oh... sorry. Did you have a late night?

Ohh! Ohh!

OK. Good.

One of them had a gold tooth. Did he?

One of those things. Aye, well, not to worry, duck.

One. One.

Ooh, Gerri. Careful, Ken.

Ooh, that sounds fun. Yeah.

Ooh, that's better. I needed that. I'll take your coat.

Or down the toilet. Oh, nice!

or just us, you know, casual. I think you got it just about right, Mary.

Other people cook for you, though. Who?

Outrageous. What happened to you?

Over to the Greek Islands. Greek Islands.

Probably find you hiding in the shed. Or lurking in the bathroom.

Promise. I promise.

Put the kettle on, Tom. Yeah, yeah. Good idea.

Put the tent in the back. And the sleeping bags.

Really? Yes.

Really? Who's that, then? Tom!

Recycled. Yeah.

Right. Ta ta, then. Yeah, OK. Bye.

Right. Who wants some cake? Yes, please.

See you on Thursday. Oh!

See you on Tuesday, Gerri. Bye, Mary. Take care.

See you soon. Look after yourself.

See you soon. Yeah, hopefully.

See you, boy. Bye bye. Take care.

See you. Thanks.

Shall I kick off? You take the honour.

Shall I take your coat? Er... no, you're all right, duck, thanks.

Shall I take your jacket, Mary? Yeah, thanks, Tom.

She gets worse. I know. Desperate.

She was a lovely person. She was.

She was, yeah. We weren't that close.

She'll be much missed. It was such a shock.

She's fucking dead now. Listen to me.

She's going to make him some pesto. Lovely.

She's worn out, poor woman. Is Carl the same?

Short weekend. Not enough time to do all the things.

Sit yourself down. Thank you.

Small ones. Yeah, yeah. Is that all right, Tom?

So do you. Oh, thank you.

So have you been at the allotment? Yes.

So how did you two meet? Our eyes met across a crowded bar.

So you didn't get arrested, Mary? No, I didn't, Joe.

So, what's your name again? Katie.

So's Ronnie. He's cut himself off.

Some ham? Oh, no, thanks. I'm a veggie, actually.

Soon. Hopefully. And you'll never know when.

Sorry about... you know... It's OK.

Sweetheart. When are you back off maternity leave?

Ta da! Oh, Joe!

Ta ta. See you.

Take care. Ta ta. Bye.

Tea, Ronnie? Yeah.

Tea? Yes.

Thailand. Burma. And to India.

Thank you for coming, Mary. Thanks, Gerri.

Thank you for coming. Shall I drop you off?

Thank you for the flowers, Katie. Glad you like them.

Thank you so much. Thank you for the flowers.

Thank you. Right.

Thanks for the lift. Yeah, all right. Bye.

Thanks, Andy. See you. Cheers.

Thanks, love. Hello. Come in.

Thanks. Is that... Can you do that, Frank?

Thanks. It's me and you, Ken.

That was Donegal. Oh.

That was in the '80s. You were nine.

That was just right. Thank you very much. I appreciate it.

That's a turn up for the books. You're not kidding.

That's all right, then. Oh, well, here goes.

That's all right. Oh, honestly,

That's fair enough. Yeah.

That's lovely. Thank you. It's nothing much.

That's not much. No. What can you do with 20 quid?

That's us, Ken. Good luck, Tom.

That's your boss, isn't it? Yeah, my boss.

The double Hepple. Yes, take on these unknown mavericks.

The Ring of Kerry. It's an area. Tralee,

There you go. Thank you.

They all come back in the end. Do they?

They can't wait five minutes? No. We asked them.

They could do other things. That doesn't get you fed.

They do that. Here you are.

They're good cooks, aren't they? Yeah.

They're lovely. They're all right.

This is Joe's girlfriend. I like your jacket.

This is Katie. My big brother.

This is the hardest day. Yeah.

This is Tom and Gerri. Tom and Gerri? That's brilliant!

Three punctures? Yeah.

Tom makes a mean curry. Oh, I love curry.

Tom! Here she is.

Tom. What?

Tom's cooking supper. Oh, lovely.

Unlike me. Middle aged spread. Shut up.

very reasonably. Exactly, Tom.

Was it? Mm.

Was there owt worth cheering? No, it were crap.

We brought a load of sandwiches, Ron. Some beers.

We brought you some chocolates. Good. Ha ha!

We did. We brought it with us.

We don't, Mary. You carry on. You're all right.

We had chicken. Oh, lovely.

We have lunch every day. I know you have lunch every day, Joe.

We have such a laugh. Yeah, we do.

We listened to some music. Amongst other things.

We met on the stairs. Yeah.

We stayed in. Did you?

We were going to have a sandwich. Are you both hungry?

We weren't, he was. You were noisy.

We'll be all right, Mary. Ken! You don't even know London.

We'll cram it all in. We'll try.

We'll have to wait and see. Oh, right.

We're going back to the house. Are you friends of Linda?

We're having a visitation. Sounds ominous.

We're having fish. I'll have white.

We're very lucky. Yeah. You are, but you deserve it.

We've got an early start, 6:22 train. Oh, no.

Welcome. Oh, thank you.

Well, at least he came. Hmm.

Well, I think it would help you. I just want to talk to you.

Well, never mind. Come and sit down, Mary. Relax.

Well, there's been no litigation to date. I'll take my chances, then.

Well, you know what I think, Mary. Yeah, yeah.

Well, you know what I think, Mary. Yeah, yeah.

Well, you look well. Do I?

Well, you're a free spirit now. I know.

What about these two, then, Mary? Such a surprise.

What am I going to do without you? You'll be fine.

What did he do? Well, he was looking at me.

What did you say your name was? Katie.

What do you mean? How big's the engine?

What do you think of her? She's lovely, isn't she?

What do you think? Exciting. What are you going to get?

What for? I think she'd be able to help you.

What good's that? Insomnia isn't a disease.

What happened? It's taken me three hours to get here.

What happened? There was this man.

What have you done, Mary? It's great, isn't it?

What have you got planned later? Ah, yes.

What way was that? She knew how I felt.

What were you doing on Corfu? Oh, I only ran a bar on the beach.

What you got? You hit rock, then?

What? Snake Pass, I'll race you.

What's so funny? Don't be cruel.

Whatever you want. Thank you.

When are you coming back? On Sunday.

When are you going to Paris? Oh, a week on Friday.

When are you going? July. The wedding's August.

Where are they now? You fancied Plastic Penny.

Where are you living? Up in Yorkshire.

Where do you want him? Oh, that's better.

Where? Hull versus Derby.

Where'd she spring from? Bloody nuisance, especially today.

Which means that I... He digs holes.

Who's Mary? She's a friend from work.

Why? I know what I'll be thinking.

With Tom and Gerri? Yeah.

Won't you help me finish it? No, really.

Would you like a beer? Oh, I'd love one, ta.

Yeah, I know you do. It doesn't even have to be your mum.

Yeah, of course I'm insured. Well, that's something, isn't it?

Yeah, please, if that's all right? I'll do that, Gez.

Yeah, she's a laugh, isn't she? She's lovely.

Yeah, thanks, Joe. At least you're here now, eh?

Yeah, thanks, Tom. Thank you.

Yeah, we've got a lovely hotel. Very nice, yeah.

Yeah, why not? We often go, don't we? Occasionally, yes.

Yeah, yeah. It must have made a difference.

Yeah! God help us.

Yeah. Have you got a bag?

Yeah. I hope you're hungry.

Yeah. I remember when you were this big.

Yeah. I'm really sorry.

Yeah. It's his responsibility, though, in't it?

Yeah. Oh, I'm so stupid sometimes.

Yeah. Plant a few tomatoes.

Yeah. We get in at Paris, what is it?

Yeah. We had absolutely no idea.

Yeah. Which island was it?

Yeah. White wine, Mary?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Safe journey. Bye. Bye.

Yeah. You do that. Give me a call. I will.

Yes, but what for? For anything, Gerri.

Yes, Mary. It'll just have to be our secret, won't it?

Yes, Mummy. Thank you.

Yes. Oh, yeah.

You better hurry up. Yeah, I'll run.

You certainly did that. It's lovely to see you.

You don't have to go. They're my pubs.

You find it all right? Aye, aye. No problem.

You frightened the life out of me. So, who's this, then?

You go on through, Joe. All right.

You got lost? Yeah, I'm really sorry.

You haven't tasted it yet. Oh, it smells nice.

You know me. Must be important.

You know the way. Yeah, but I came in my car, Gerri.

You know, Palmer's Street. Oh, yeah.

You look lovely. Oh, thank you, Gerri.

You look well. Oh, thank you, Tom.

You looked so lovely holding that baby. He's delightful.

You must come to supper. Yes, please.

You never rang me. I'm sorry.

You never told us. Master of discretion.

You never went. I did occasionally.

You son's a weirdo! Yes, we know. He's having treatment.

You want a lift to the station? It's all right.

You want it out, Joe? Yep.

You went on your grand tour. ...we came back overland.

You were a cocktail waitress? Yeah.

You were noisy. I know I was noisy.

You're a graduate. We're all graduates, aren't we?

You're all right. It's OK. I fancy a swing.

You're both such lovely people. Oops, my halo's slipping.

You're going on the tube, aren't you? Of course.

You're right, he is. I know.

You're very welcome, Mary. Yeah.

You're welcome. Yeah.

You've been here loads of times. I know.

You've worked in Australia, Katie. Yeah, I worked in Sydney for a year.

Your wedding day? I don't know.

...and the sink's straight in front of you and on the left is...

...and...

...but he was married.

...couple of bottles of wine.

...how happy would you say you are, Janet?

...I'm here for you.

...if I buy a new car...

...so what?

...that if you ever need to share anything...

...that's another car.

...the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit be upon you and remain with you always.

...we're all going to be old, one day, aren't we?

...you know, I'm not as young as they thought...

...your body parts!