The Dream Team (1989) Edit

A church that has lost its way!

A complete report of all infractions of hospital rules,

A cop car just pulled alongside me on the sidewalk.

A couple of them actually think they're doctors. Tragic.

A dead man is not a witness.

A doctor doesn't leave four mental patients to go cruise for chicks.

A few hours is not a missing person.

A lover of the things of this world.

A pee, and the doctor never came back.

A word from our sponsor.

Able to go back and get it, and that's youth for you.

Actually, it's a ball if he would take it.

Actually, this is my idea of a good time.

Again I fondly hold you

Ah, it's great to be young and insane.

Ah.

Ah.

Al?

Albert just told me where to get off. That's progress, right?

Albert wasn't trying to communicate with anybody.

Albert, do you think you can hold on till we get to the stadium?

Albert, group.

Albert, if you wanna eat yours before

Albert, keep this door locked.

Albert, sit up straight.

Albert, this might be the highlight of my report.

Albert, you okay?

Albert, you're facing the wrong way.

ALBERT: (SINGING) ...does that star spangled banner

ALBERT: Play ball!

Albert!

Albert!

Albert! Where's the doctor?

Albert?

Albert.

Albert.

Alexander Hamilton.

All God's creatures are beautiful.

All I'm saying is, let's stretch that clothing dollar.

All it does is go, Ping.

All right, both of them, let's go!

All right, guys. Come on. Let's lighten up.

All right, move it.

All right, we're four escaped lunatics.

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right. Bill, cut it out. Come on.

All right. Can we just stay out of fantasy for just a minute, please?

All right. Come on. Come on!

All right. Come on. Go, go! Come on.

All right. Come on. Let's go. Come on.

All right. Don't get nervous.

All right. I don't want to have to do this.

All right. Jack, I promised Henry that he could navigate.

All right. Jack. Now, last time

All right. Let's go!

All right. Listen, all I want you to do is

All right. Now, when we get to the stadium, guys,

All right. Time's up.

All right. Vehicle 9415.

All the faiths will be represented.

All the way

All the way

All the way

All the way

All the way

All the way

All the way

All the way

All the way

All the way All the way

All the way All the way

All the way, y'all

All these cops around and nobody's arresting me.

All you have to do is learn how to speak, Albert.

All yours, Bernie.

ALL: Yeah!

ALVAREZ: No, don't! Don't!

ALVAREZ: You bastard!

ALVAREZ: You're goin' to jail!

Amen!

Amen!

Amen!

American Psychiatric Society. Chair stays where it is.

An institution in 12 years.

And 20 bucks a day for storage.

And a couple of dogs.

And a damn fine Beaujolais.

And batting ninth and playing third base, Rene Gonzales.

And Caufield is like a walking time bomb.

And don't you come back

And don't you come back no more

And don't you come back no more

And don't you come back no more

And don't you come back no more

And don't you come back No more, no more, no more, no more

And don't you come back No more, no more, no more, no more

And don't you come back...

And Dr. Newald!

And Dwight Smith's gonna die single.

And every day we check out the soaps lookin' for you.

And every week I tell you, We haven't heard from Albert yet.

And for questioning in the murder

And for the New York Yankees, playing

And he also has a real history of violence.

And he said, It's time for you

And I gotta tell you that, on this floor, that's really something.

And I said, 'Son? And he said, Yes.

And I said, What, Lord?

And I'm gonna find out this afternoon.

And I'm seeing some real progress.

And I'm the doctor until the doctor comes back!

And I've been in every branch of the service,

And I've been persecuted for speaking this truth.

And Jeff Ballard for the birds. (SIGHING)

And just, like, lay there and...

And may be involved in the murder of a New York police officer.

And maybe a nice Countess Mara tie, eh, sport?

And not make it up as you go along.

And now the lineups for the Orioles and the Yankees.

And once again, one of the Brewers

And put the clipboard away. We're gonna be using my notes today.

And review our goals!

And share the most intimate secrets of your lives,

And should the public be concerned?

And squash us like tiny little bugs?

And that's when God found me.

And the attempted murder of Dr. Weitzman.

And the four missing mental patients

And the home

And the other one, he's crazier than any of them.

And then he disappears on 48th Street.

And then when there's a problem,

And there were women.

And they eat people and, like, rip their guts open.

And they'd have us back on medication

And this dude gave you a brand new color TV

And to bring Jesus Christ back into

And we sit here and do nothing.

And we've been tracking some Libyan terrorists.

And you know what he said to me?

And you. You... You're nothing. You're not anything.

And, guys, a little pocket money.

And, uh, Nurse McDermott made it as well.

ANNOUNCER 1: He brought those hands in. ANNOUNCER 2: He did.

ANNOUNCER: ...extra hop on your ball.

ANNOUNCER: All right. Yanks in a jam.

Another episode like that, William,

Another win for the Yanks.

Anything else I can help you fellas with?

Are innocent.

Are still rattling around somewhere.

Are we gonna let those cops bury Weitzman?

Are we?

Are we?

Are we? (EXHALES DEEPLY)

Are you gonna replace that mattress?

Are you guys crazy?

Are you saying I didn't?

Are you still writing?

Aren't you the same guy that changed water into wine?

Arise and walk, my son.

Around Times Square. None of that.

As quickly as possible. Am I right?

As the mysterious dude defense.

As well as nationwide strikes, demanding new elections.

As you would, let's say, one of your French fries, okay?

Ask anyone in 10021 about Henry Sikorsky.

At least he's not a schmuck.

At least we now know that he's listening.

At second base, batting second, Billy Ripken.

Attaboy. Now, focus.

Attacking a referee on the ice doesn't make you a hockey player either.

Attempted murder, Tom.

Back out in the streets?

Batter up! Batter up!

BAUER: I see.

Because Jesus wants it that way.

Because the doc would lose his job,

Because they're all screwed down.

Because we are all naked in the eyes of the Lord!

Been with me

Been with me Been with me

Been with me Been with me

Been with me Been with me

Been with me Been with me, been with me

Been with me, been with me Been with me

Before those two goddamn cops come back.

Before we begin, Henry, would you take the jacket off, please?

Before we left. I told him not to.

Benson called while I was in there. You got the Mitachi account.

Benson? I used to think he was the Devil.

Big inning.

Big inning. See?

Bill, a half dozen speeding tickets in Miami

Bill. Cut it out. Oh, my God!

Billy did it, Dr. Weitzman. It'll all be in my report.

Billy, Ed is home.

Billy, I haven't talked to you in three months.

Billy, where's Dr. Weitzman now?

BILLY: Albert, sit up here.

BILLY: All right, straight. Go left.

BILLY: All right? Attaboy.

BILLY: And the thing was, people would live, like, for an hour later...

BILLY: Get out of the way! Albert, you step on my foot one more time,

BILLY: Maybe after the game.

BILLY: Oh, boy. Brian's cupcake.

BILLY: Stop breathing in my face!

BILLY: Watch it.

BILLY: Yeah.

Billy!

Billy. Henry. Jack. Dr. Weitzman. You wanna try?

Billy. Tell me this is a bad dream.

Bingo.

Birds singing in the sycamore tree

Bobby Meacham batting second and playing second base.

Box seats on the right field line.

Boy, I hope you appreciate this woman, Ed.

Boy.

Break down and give each other a little hug?

Breaking windows is progress?

Brian isn't complaining, so let's just drop it. All right?

Bring me back a dog, would ya?

Brothers and sisters, oh, God, there were women!

Browse!

Bullshit.

But I do know a guy you could talk to.

But I don't want you to get your hopes up,

But I gotta tell you, those dogs out there are worth the wait.

But I hadn't hit bottom yet. Oh, no.

But I must say he impressed me with his thorough professionalism.

But I was with Elvis, and my dog told me to do it,

But I was with Elvis, and my dog told me to do it,

But I'm more concerned about the

But let us try to find comfort in knowing that he is finally at peace.

But that's okay. It's not for you to clean it up.

But then they locked you up.

But tonight, I don't know.

But we'll never know. You know why?

But who else is gonna do it? Not these guys.

But you gotta believe me, these chairs...

But, sweetheart, here am I

But, uh, we've run into one complication.

By the time the coin runs out, that's why.

By your door

Bye, Dwight. See ya.

Caesar, don't let them leave the building. It's your job!

Cal Ripken Jr. will be the shortstop, batting third.

Cal Ripken Jr. will be the shortstop, batting third.

Call my lawyer! Spread 'em, that's right!

Call not for a doctor but for an elder of the church.

Call security. I want these men arrested.

Can do right now is walk out of here.

Can I get an amen?

Can I get an amen?

Can I have that for my pictures?

Can I have that in writing? Wait a minute!

Can we take another vote on Henry's lobotomy?

Can you believe that?

Can you blame him?

Can you help me? I'm looking for a...

Can you imagine him without a doctor?

Careful. Careful.

Ceramics. Ceramics. That's more our speed.

Certainly. Thank you.

Certainly. You know their pathology better than I do.

Chaos is great.

Check, please.

CHORUS: ...get lost! MAN: Who, me?

CHORUS: Yeah!

Christians who seek their true selves...

Close call at second.

Close call. Close call.

Come here.

Come in! We have a witness!

Come on over.

Come on, Albert. You okay?

Come on, Doc. You could vote too. Put it up.

Come on, Henry.

Come on, Jack.

Come on, lady.

Come on, Rizzuto.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! Let me have a show of hands?

Come on! Next time you guys get the urge, use a pay phone, okay?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Everybody, come on.

Come on. Hey!

Come on. Keep together.

Come on. You were right there in the dust bowl with them.

Come on. You're breaking my heart.

Come.

Comin' from a guy who carries an autographed picture of Norman Bates

CONGREGATION: Yes! Mmm hmm.

Cops?

Could we go now?

Could we see that first group of pictures again?

Could we try a little reality here?

Couple minutes of sanity in there, all right?

Courtesy of that bust down on Canal Street.

Cover for me. I gotta go.

Dear Lord, we humbly ask your mercy for our dear departed.

Deep seated hostilities and transference.

Devote this entire session to William.

Did Albert just talk to you?

Did Ed make the sunshine?

Did Ed make the wheat grow?

Did my best.

Did the agency give you extra perks with that, or just those three days off?

Did they take him away in an ambulance?

Did Timmy fall in the well, Lassie? Did he, girl?

Did you guys hear that?

Did you guys see Wolfen? They filmed it down here.

Didn't this place used to be blue?

Didn't we, guy? It was a nightmare.

Dinner? I've got to get this report to Dr. Newald right away!

Do I sense some hostility here?

Do I sense some hostility here?

Do some time in the Big Apple.

Do you all have to go in? Absolutely.

Do you mind just paying the check?

Do you really have to go?

Do you think he's ready to get out?

Do you want me to?

Doc, I say we drag him outside and beat the shit out of him.

Doc, I think you might wanna explain the buddy system to Henry.

Doctor, do you think the other patients are ready?

DOCTOR: Henry.

DOCTOR: There's been a tendency to limit medication.

Doctors can be strange characters, too.

Does Ed know what I do? You know, that I'm, like, nuts?

Does that mean we are actually leaving the hospital grounds?

Doesn't make you a race car driver.

Don't hang up on him now.

Don't laugh.

Don't move! This man's insane!

Don't tell me I didn't give you

Don't worry about the cupcake, Albert.

Don't you come back no more

Don't you come back no more

Don't you come back no more

Don't you come back no more

Don't you come back no more

Don't you come back no more

Don't you come back no more

Don't you come back no more

Don't you come back no more

Don't you know what a semicircle is?

Don't you treat me this way

Down on the right.

Dr. Bauer, would you mind if I had a few

Dr. Demento speaks.

Dr. Epson wants Mrs. Freeman's chart, okay?

Dr. Henry Verboven. That's exactly right.

Dr. Jeffrey Weitzman?

Dr. McDermott's a great believer

Dr. Newald, it's...

Dr. Newald, this is Henry Sikorsky...

Dr. Newald's gonna be very, very, very upset.

Dr. Riley?

Dr. Sachs, please call 452.

Dr. Talmer, I'm gonna take one of 'em back in.

Dr. Verboven can be such a perfectionist.

Dr. Verboven. Henry.

Dr. Weitzman doesn't have any family.

Dr. Weitzman is not gonna like this.

Dr. Weitzman, he's still walking around naked.

Dr. Weitzman, I don't see how William

Dr. Weitzman, I think it's best that I hold the money.

Dr. Weitzman, I think we should

Dr. Weitzman, I'm not going!

Dream a little dream of me

Dream a little dream of me

During a visit to New York City

Dwight Smith is gonna die unemployed

Eastside Psychiatric.

Easy does it till we find a place. All right? Okay.

Ed, could you just listen?

Ed, leave it on.

Ed, you can vote too. This is America.

ED: Oh, thanks. Thank you.

Ed. Hi.

Ergo, we are not looking good.

Especially when it comes to one so loved,

Ever to make a license plate!

Every day an innocent man is deprived of his dessert,

Every opportunity to tell your side.

Every policeman in this city will be looking for you.

Every sucker we ever shook down?

Every week you get up and say, Can we go now?

Everything is so disorganized, such a mess.

Everything's fine, Doctor.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Exactly. But these idiots don't understand that.

Excuse me, sir. I'm looking for a colleague of mine.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Could I have the key to the men's room, please?

Excuse me. Do you have an extra stethoscope?

Excuse me. Ed, could I talk to you just for a minute?

Excuse me. I'm looking for a colleague of mine.

Excuse me. Sir?

Exit 11, Henry! Pace yourself!

Expects to make any kind of progress.

Face front. Chin up a bit.

Fantasy.

Father, forgive us, for we have sinned.

Father, may I say a few words?

Fella ain't got a soul of his own, just... A little piece of a big soul.

FEMALE ANCHOR: ...bizarre series of events.

FEMALE ANCHOR: Opposition leaders

FEMALE REPORTER: At the Bronx Zoo today, officials welcomed

FEMALE REPORTER: Doctor, are these men dangerous,

FEMALE REPORTER: Is this an unusual occurrence?

Fifth goddamn hospital. Not one of them's got the doc.

Fine women!

Fine. You be the doctor, and I'll be the escaped mental patient. Okay?

First they just wanted to put up one.

For a guy who runs the universe, he's scared shitless.

For less than six figures these days.

For you, on three. It's them.

Forget him, Riley. The guy's insane.

Fought it off. He's got another shot.

Foul ball.

Frankly, I find it difficult to sanction this.

Freeze, buddy!

From Manhattan's 15th Precinct,

Fuck you.

Gee, we don't have one on staff here, fellas,

Geez! Your attention, gentlemen!

Geez. We're waitin' for a news update from a catatonic.

Get him to the ambulance.

Get out of my way. Is he gonna be all right?

Get your ass against the wall.

Get your ass over there.

Gianelli. In here.

Gimme a break.

Gimme that.

GIRL: Hey! Watch it! Watch your damn...

Girlfriends?

Give me a beer.

Give me a break. Was this guy in your store or on the goddamn moon?

Give me one good reason.

Give me that phone!

Give the gun back to the guard.

Go ahead. Enjoy your dinner.

Go ahead. I got lots of girlfriends.

Go ahead. Sing us the national anthem, you bozo.

Go easy on them. They've been through a lot.

Good morning.

Good seats, huh?

Good work, Henry.

Good, good.

Good, good. Hold it.

Good. Here it is.

Good. I'm really trying to sound calm because,

Got some real nice things here though.

Gotta make him swing!

Great.

Great. Breakfast. I'm starved.

Great. He's gonna piss all over the backseat, Doc.

Group therapy?

Guys, guys, come on.

Hard to believe those patients could do something like this.

Hate to break it to you, Billy,

Have a nice life.

Have resulted in the arrest of two detectives

Have threatened continued violence

He called me a shithead.

He devoted his life to the treatment of the insane.

He drank a whole can of Hawaiian Punch

He gonna make it? Who knows?

He got him! That huckleberry went for a bad pitch.

He got him! That huckleberry went for a bad pitch.

He is presently undergoing treatment at the Cedarbrook Hospital

He knows this agent, and it's inside track time.

He never reads my reports. No wonder he's never done anything.

He probably speaks seven different languages.

He refuses to clean up his area.

He said to me, Son!

He smells like tuna fish.

He thought I was gonna shoot. You thought I was gonna shoot you, right?

He took numb nuts down an alley to take

He was too violent for Vietnam.

He'll be here in a minute. We're on a very tight schedule.

He's still unconscious over at Mercy Hospital,

He's walkin' down Fifth Avenue with a brand new, 21 inch color TV.

He's worse than I am.

Helen Grabosky? Hey, this is Billy Caufield.

Hello... Hello.

Henry Sikorsky, Albert lanuzzi and Jack McDermott.

Henry,

Henry, do something!

Henry, I had the kitchen make us brownies.

Henry, I think you better get in there.

Henry, I'll field this one, if you don't mind.

Henry, you went home, you discovered you

HENRY: He's way behind the rest of us.

HENRY: Hey, guys, is it time for a hug?

HENRY: I don't know the man.

HENRY: I never knew there were so many John Does in this world.

HENRY: I think he has a long way to go.

HENRY: I'll have a full report in the morning!

HENRY: I'm riding up front with the doc!

HENRY: I'm telling Dr. Weitzman!

HENRY: Mileage to date, 97,411 and two tenths miles.

HENRY: This group will not start

HENRY: This is the breakdown, Ed.

HENRY: We're directly under the Hudson River now.

HENRY: Who put you in charge? I'm in charge here.

Henry.

Henry.

Henry... Actually, Henry, do your stuff.

Here tonight!

Here we go.

Here, put this in. Call a nurse or something.

Hey, baby...

Hey, baby...

Hey, Bill.

Hey, Bill. What do you do?

Hey, Billy, we gotta go. Are you sure you can drive this thing?

Hey, did you guys log out with Alvarez?

Hey, do me a favor, put that thing away.

Hey, Doc, isn't it true that if even one

Hey, Doc!

Hey, Dwight Smith was born single,

Hey, Henry, imagine this...

Hey, I know you. Yeah?

Hey, there's Dr. Newald.

Hey, those two guys just tried to kill somebody inside.

Hey, what are you doing? Let's go. Move it.

Hey, what happened?

Hey, you can read.

Hey, you got some pretty chronic types here.

Hey, you wanna move Beauregard here? Yeah, right.

Hey!

Hey! I didn't know you were in town.

Hey! Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Oh, what a relief it is!

Hey! What the hell's goin' on down there?

Hey.

Hey.

Hi, Ed.

Hi, Ed.

Hi, Murray. We were just reminiscing.

Hi.

Hi. Uh, you friends of Riley?

His name is Ed, and I told you all about him.

His tubes got all pulled out...

Hit the road, Jack

Hit the road, Jack

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more

Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back no more

Hmm. I guess that's the last of the James Gang.

Hmm. That is a problem.

Hold it right there!

Hold it right there! Freeze!

Holland Tunnel, next right.

Holy cow, White! What a great day for a game!

Holy cow!

Holy shit. What is...

Honey! Honey! I'll see you tonight!

Hope these aren't too tight, fellas.

How about a nice Harris Tweed with a blue oxford button down?

How about one of those ear lights?

How about one with a regular girl?

How about right here? This is fine.

How do you get him to talk? I know this patient's history.

How do you like the game so far? I'm havin' a ball.

How much does the supreme being wanna spend?

How the hell should I know?

How you doing?

How you doing? Hey.

Huh, JC?

Huh, team? Huh?

I aced my Rorschach test.

I am the Lord, thy god.

I appreciate that, sir.

I asked him where he got it.

I believe you, Ed.

I believe you.

I came to tell you that I was once

I can do it again, buster.

I can relate to that.

I can't believe you.

I can't leave you guys alone two minutes.

I can't ride in the back. I get carsick!

I could report this! We have rules around here, buddy!

I didn't have buddies when I was on the cross. I don't need one now.

I don't advise over stimulating him.

I don't carry on conversations with my dog.

I don't even wanna help us. We're hopeless.

I don't know. Boy, you ought to see these guys.

I don't like to be alone in there.

I don't need anybody to tell me what the buddy system is.

I don't really think it's a good idea, to call the police right now.

I don't think this is the week, Doc.

I don't wanna talk about that.

I don't want him next to me.

I don't want you to pick it up.

I don't... Uh, uh!

I drove the moneylenders from the temple. I can handle a ten spot.

I fear my doctor may have been seized by the Romans!

I got a big story for you. We came to town to see a ball game.

I got him.

I got it confirmed. Our man is off the room.

I got news for you psychos.

I gotta listen to this crap from a guy

I guess if you say so

I guess if you say so

I had a corner office.

I handled one of the toughest zip codes in the country.

I hate paisley.

I have a feeling it's time for group.

I have a feeling those psychos are about to go after their doctor again.

I have died and been reborn.

I have seven letters from your wife in my office.

I haven't exactly been in one yet, but my hand has.

I hope this won't affect our relationship

I just don't fraternize with patients.

I just kept fallin', right on through the floor!

I just may go hit the road and try to find myself.

I just want you guys to believe me, okay?

I keep telling these guys my girlfriend's an actress,

I kind of danced around Times Square.

I knew this man perhaps better than anyone here.

I know I can count on you.

I know it sounds crazy.

I know one of your fantasies when I hear one, William.

I let you sit in the front seat.

I lived the white man's lie.

I love it. I love it! You're right.

I love New York. Bring your kids. Have 'em arrested.

I love these things.

I love to hesitate

I made $100,000 a year.

I mean, I've been goin' up on commercials.

I mean, isn't the son of God good for a burger in this town?

I mean, this man could have any woman in the world,

I mean, you accept it in a peacock,

I mean, you know, as okay as you get.

I meet this guy.

I might have to let Murray go though.

I must request you not move.

I need some money.

I never had to bail him out of jail. You know.

I never put on a dress and dance

I pledge to continue his work as long as I live.

I prescribed 100 milligrams of Thorazine.

I put in for special passes for the Yankee game tomorrow,

I read for it yesterday.

I remember when you first started tellin' it,

I said, Fellas, we're here.

I said, no one in that room. Hospital security.

I said... All right. Straight.

I saw you get arrested for one of those lab rats.

I say we skip him and move on to someone of greater consequence.

I screened the group. I didn't pick them out of a hat.

I see you haven't changed much, Billy.

I shall rise again in three days. Count on it.

I stand and say good night

I swear to God.

I swore this wasn't gonna happen to me again.

I think I came a long way, Tom.

I think Jeff is overdramatizing this just a little bit.

I think that means no, Doc.

I think that's the same scream your mother used when she met me.

I think we do your lobotomy right here and now. Scrub up, Albert.

I think we should talk about this, don't you?

I think you're the missing persons.

I thought I lost you. I was afraid to find out.

I thought they were gonna sell the car wash.

I told them I hadn't heard from you in two years.

I told you.

I told you.

I tried to throw Murray and all his CLIOs out the window.

I wanna give them the chance to taste a hot dog at Yankee Stadium,

I wanna help you guys.

I want to give your soul a wake up call!

I want to put Jesus...

I want you to do me a favor, Henry.

I was a shithead. I'm sorry.

I was against this thing from the start.

I was lovin' drugs!

I was pulling down a hundred big ones a year...

I was senior VP.

I was the architectural consultant on that gig.

I went back to the agency.

I will hold back the waters.

I wouldn't wanna walk into a public place

I... I am the doorman.

I... I don't speak Spanish either. Piss in the alley.

I'd better check to see what's keeping him.

I'd go 50. He cried during Family Feud

I'd like you to be in charge of passing them out.

I'd like you to meet my friend, Billy.

I'd recommend 25 milligrams of Thorazine at four hour intervals.

I'll be all around in the dark.

I'll be consulting with Dr. Weitzman.

I'll be everywhere... Wherever you can look.

I'll call the turnpike authority,

I'll give you a reason.

I'll have to pack my things and go

I'll have to pack my things and go

I'll just pack my bags and go

I'll keep an eye on them.

I'll shoot the girl.

I'll take that, Albert.

I'll tell you something, That's the best backhand I've ever seen on Thorazine.

I'll use this.

I'm a den mother in stir.

I'm a friend to all men. We've come for your money, Ed.

I'm a mental patient. I'm not impressed.

I'm a police officer. Drop the gun.

I'm afraid I would have to say, yes, they are dangerous.

I'm afraid to even get into the sock bin.

I'm beginning to realize that you are

I'm concerned too. This chart is a mess.

I'm doing fine, William.

I'm Donna Hanover for The Morning Report.

I'm giving myself permission.

I'm gonna agree with my colleague. I think it looks pretty good.

I'm gonna count to three. Billy!

I'm gonna have to go on Thorazine myself.

I'm gonna have to include this in my report to Dr. Weitzman.

I'm gonna have to make a full report.

I'm gonna kill you. ALBERT: Kill the ump!

I'm gonna say 25 milligrams amitriptyline.

I'm gonna straighten it out for you.

I'm home.

I'm impressed. Thanks.

I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear

I'm looking for a colleague of mine. Dr. Jeffrey Weitzman.

I'm not even gonna count. Gimme the gun.

I'm not finished with that.

I'm not going another step until somebody gets me my dinner.

I'm not gonna make any death threats.

I'm not gonna make any death threats.

I'm not gonna vote. Sit down. Come on.

I'm not gonna waitress forever, am I?

I'm not laughin'.

I'm on a tight schedule. I hope they're ready to leave.

I'm out. I'm sprung.

I'm prepared to carry you in my arms.

I'm so disturbed, I'm gettin' outta here.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I just flashed back to Nam.

I'm still makin' things up. Hey, you know what?

I'm sure they are.

I'm talking about murder, Tom.

I'm tellin' you, I'm red hot. I mean, six months ago, I'm a nobody, right?

I'm telling you, it works.

I'm telling you, somebody's really trying to kill him.

I'm totally irresponsible, all right? Okay?

I've been officially put in charge of this group.

I've caught this just in time.

I've had better conversations with cheese.

I've never agreed with that diagnosis.

I've noticed.

I've played some of the top Chinese guys.

Ianuzzi.

If a guy checks into a hospital and he's unconscious and

If he broke down, he should've phoned.

If I only saved one soul in there, it was well worth it.

If that makes you uncomfortable.

If these guys are gonna spend the rest of their lives in an institution,

If they get Mitachi, they're gonna need some good copy.

If we're not at Eastside Psychiatric in 15 minutes,

If you don't stop for the litter, you can be back by Christmas.

If you don't straighten out that chair,

If you ever work up a serve to go with that backhand,

If you see him.

If you're talking about a relationship,

If you're wondering what happened to

Imagination and start writing again, Bill.

Impressive credentials.

In fact, I think we got 'em trailed

In his wallet, that doesn't mean too much.

In local news, the last of the mental patients

In local sports, both the Mets and...

In looking at the chart, the general anxiety level in the Gomez case

In on what? In on what?

In the middle of the night just to hold?

In the natural healing powers of the mind.

Indicates minor dosage increase.

INMATE: Hey, you sucka!

Instead, what do we got, fellas?

Into our little group, didn't it?

Is a lot more trouble than it's worth.

Is really just a way of avoiding your own.

Is that a leak up there?

Is that it, Albert?

Is that one of your favorites, William?

Is that the correct time?

Is there any possibility that Albert will actually get into the game...

Is this friend a guy?

Is this the one with the ghost of Lee Harvey Oswald?

Is this the week that you guys finally

It appears we have Mr. and Mrs. Helen Keller in here.

It could be traffic, a flat tire. Who knows?

It is an irony that the therapist

It is my intention to submit to you, Dr. Weitzman,

It was the same alley where they found that shrink from Trenton.

It'll all be in the report.

It'll be John Candelaria pitching for the Yankees,

It's $170. That's all I have in the house.

It's a 5 hour field trip. We're not going up the south face of Everest.

It's a conspiracy, Tony.

It's a conspiracy, Tony.

It's a goddamn miracle.

It's a guy that went to the movies, met a lady or something.

It's a sickness of the soul.

It's a statement, man.

It's all right, Albert. I think we'll keep you on the bench for this one.

It's all right.

It's almost 1:00.

It's because we're a special combat unit

It's Billy Caufield. How you doing?

It's breathtaking.

It's clear to me now God is testing me.

It's gonna be a dark day in Peking, babe.

It's grand to say good night

It's great.

It's hard to take that pitch from a left hander with a left handed batter.

It's hopeless.

It's like a scene out of a Lassie movie.

It's maybe because I want to so much.

It's not a miracle, Jack. No, it's not a miracle.

It's not him.

It's not his fault. He's not as competent as we are.

It's not like you're trying to move a piano or something, huh?

It's not your responsibility.

It's Satan's plot! I told you...

It's tough to take orders from a guy who irons his socks.

It's up to me now. I've got to get the guys and the doctor out of there.

It's very normal when you're coming off medication. Bill?

Jack and I killed a few account people in our day, too.

Jack McDermott. Christ fixation. Megalomania.

Jack, Henry, Billy, Albert. Come on.

Jack, I'm trying to handle this, you jerk off! Shut up!

Jack, it's me, Tom.

Jack, Jesus Christ would never point a gun at another human being.

Jack, let me ask you a question.

Jack, you remembered you're a better copywriter than a messiah.

JACK: I don't think so.

JACK: Murray.

JACK: Read the New Testament, Sparky.

JACK: Why does a grown man have to smell like tuna fish?

Jeff's a responsible guy. I'm sure everything's under control.

Jerry, I need two rum collins,

Jerry, I need two rum collins, two Jack Daniels,

Jesus been with me

Jesus been with me

Jesus been with me

Jesus been with me

Jesus been with me

Jesus been with me

Jesus been with me

Jesus Christ.

Jesus! Yeah!

Joe Orsulak will be in right field, batting eighth,

Just a couple of John Does.

Just down the hall.

Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me

Just kidding.

Just listen to it. Leave the clipboard. Just listen.

Just listen! Hey, hey, hey!

Just saying this

Just with you

Keep looking.

Ken Gerhart batting seventh in center field,

Kind of reminds me of your brother, Lenny.

Kinda wanted by the police right now.

Lay this on us!

Leave me alone, jerk off.

Leiter winds. Leiter winds.

Leiter's unbelievable.

Let go!

Let go.

Let him go! (GRUNTS)

Let me hold the gun. No.

Let me see that.

Let me tell you something, Ken.

Let's get out of here. I think we should stop here

Let's go for 50 or 100.

Let's go.

Let's not get into that.

Leviticus 5:14.

Like a wild dog howling or something. Phew.

Like that, they call him, John Doe.

Listen, boys, this isn't Club Med.

Listen, uh, do I sound calm to you?

Long time no see.

Look at this.

Look out!

Look what you did.

Look, Albert, did they take Weitzman away in an ambulance?

Look, Bill, he's got a job, and he pays his bills.

Look, do you have any John Does over there?

Look, Dr. Freud,

Look, Dr. Newald, as I was saying,

Look, here's all we're asking. You give us as much attention

Look, I don't think I'm Elvis, all right?

Look, I'm desperate, Tom. I need money.

Look, uh, I can't invite you up.

Look, uh, Riles, I got a real situation here.

Look, why don't you guys go out and browse around for a while?

Look, why don't you guys just call your hospital?

Look, you probably want us out of here

Look, you want the truth? Okay, there is no weekend pass.

Look, you're done. It's been a pleasure.

Look, you've been gone for over a year and a half.

Looks like one of our chairs tried to make a break for it, huh?

Lunch date? It's 3:00.

Makes me wanna puke.

Making those little ashtrays with our fucking names on it, goddamn it!

Male vanity.

MAN 1: I told you you should've wised up, Alvarez.

MAN 1: Nobody's goin' to jail.

MAN 1: You know, sweetheart, we're just tryin' to set you up for life.

MAN 1: You're a dead man, Alvarez.

MAN 2: Better say good night.

MAN 2: I don't see how we can until she does.

Man could throw a lamb chop past a goddamn wolf.

MAN ON PA: Lieutenant Harrison to the dispatch office, please.

MAN: (SINGING) We meet at evening time

MAN: (SINGING) We meet at evening time

MAN: A witness!

MAN: Ah!

MAN: Blasphemy!

MAN: But... But, baby!

MAN: Come on, pal. Move back. Don't get hurt, too.

MAN: I guess if you say so

MAN: Oh, baby, please!

MAN: Oh, baby, please!

MAN: Oh, woman, oh, woman

MAN: Oh!

MAN: So we pick up this kid. Now, it's 3:00 a.m.

MAN: Well, I just may do that, baby!

MAN: What you call me?

MAN: What you say

MAN: What you say

MAN: What?

MAN: You cannot do this to me!

MAN: You're not gonna believe this.

May I ask what they're doing there?

May I say a few words?

Maybe he didn't really wanna take us.

Maybe I did. You never know.

Maybe it's the moon, or those cute little knockers you got.

Maybe they should role play this, Doctor.

McDermott, time for group.

Medication was indicated.

Meekum.

Millions and millions of gallons of water would come pouring down on us

Missed you.

Missing from Cedarbrook Hospital

Moments alone with my colleagues?

Move on.

Mr. Nivens asked me to stop you.

Ms. Ferguson gives you a star

Murray looks like he's under a lot of pressure.

Murray, congratulations.

Murray! Look who I found.

My brothers and sisters!

My chair is straight, and all the other chairs are out of order.

My clipboard, I gave it to my daughter.

My man.

My name is Caesar.

Nah. Sorry. Classified.

Never heard of him.

NEWS ANCHOR: Thank you, Donna.

News at 11:00.

News at 11:00. Let's go to the videotape.

Next batter.

Next week, we'll work on leaving the rest of

Nice goin', Albert.

Nice going, Doc.

Nice meeting you all. We gotta do lunch, Jack.

Night breezes seem to whisper I love you

No beer, Bill. Just sodas. Okay?

No breakage.

No ghost stories. Okay, Billy?

No immediate plans, Tom. Actually, we're

No more, no more

No more, no more, no more

No more, no more, no more, no more

No more, no more, no more, no more

No more, no more, no more, no more

No more, no more, no more, no more

No more, no more, no more, no more

No more, no more, no more, no more

No more, no more, no more, no more

No one gives permission but the doctor,

No one gives permission but the doctor,

No one likes a Mr. Messy.

No place to put him. Gotta make him swing.

No serial number, no sales record.

No worse than the cafeteria at lunch time, huh, Albert?

No, he doesn't.

No, huh? Look, nurse, could you... Uh, what's your name?

No, it doesn't look... It doesn't look bigger. It just looks nicer.

No, my fencing group. Yeah, group therapy. Wait a minute.

No, no, no! Not the police, because they're in on this.

No, no, William. No, we won't call the police

No, not her.

No, the Yankees are gonna come here and play.

No, they're standing up for themselves.

No, why?

No!

No! Pick up that phone and say,

No.

No. Just Riley.

No. Look who's here.

No. Them.

No. Um, this is my friend's place.

No. Weitzman with a Z. Right.

No. You're great. I've always told you you were great.

Nobody ever wrote copy like you did.

Nobody's dying in here.

Nobody's ever heard from Albert.

Not a chance.

Not her.

Not John Doe. Dr. Weitzman. I'd better handle this.

Not really.

Not someone. The Prince of Darkness.

Now for the Yankees, number 10,

Now I know he's just another bozo trying to do a piece of business.

Now keep away from the phone, all of you!

Now pay the lady.

Now they want to give us the chair.

Now we're gonna have to check all these hospitals ourselves.

Now, how's that for a goal?

Now, I hope everyone got the partners they wanted. (LAUGHS)

Now, if we can just get some pants on the colonel...

Now, sit down, Bill.

Now, that will get my attention.

Now, there's a real mind bender for you, right?

Now, this missing doctor, we're all sure he really exists, right?

Now, what do you want?

Now...

Nurse Kremmel looks like Luca Brasi.

NURSE ON PA: Dr. Sachs, please call 452.

NURSE ON PA: Dr. Thompson, call Dr. Richard.

NURSE: Get me security.

Nuts?

O'er the land of the free

Of a New York City police officer.

Of fellow officer Orlando Alvarez

Of the brave?

Of the four patients wanted in the attack on their doctor

Of those tiles were to come loose,

Officer, is something wrong?

OFFICER: Come on. Come on! Keep it down in there!

OFFICER: Come on. They're moving you now.

OFFICER: Maguire?

OFFICER: What?

Oh

Oh, been with me

Oh, boy.

Oh, come on, man. It'll just be a minute.

Oh, come on!

Oh, fellas. I might have some good news about our field trip.

Oh, God!

Oh, great. I've been waiting for this all morning.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, man. Hey, I'm kidding.

Oh, no!

Oh, really? Really, Hank?

Oh, uh, uh...

Oh, um, we're going to the game tomorrow.

Oh, woman, oh, woman Don't you treat me so mean

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Oh! (SIGHING)

Oh. There's about 65,000 seats up at that stadium.

Ohh. Boy, you could do some time for that, Big Al.

Okay, Albert, you done yet?

Okay, but it's gonna be like driving around in a litter box in there.

Okay, champ, this is gonna have to do.

Okay, come on, Albert. Let's go.

Okay, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Okay, come on. Come on.

Okay, does Ed go out the window? Let's have a show of hands.

Okay, fella. I'll give you a holler.

Okay, good. It's all right. You all right?

Okay, great. Dr. Meekum, thank you very much.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, Kenny. Put your game face on. Here we go.

Okay, okay. Just checking.

Okay, you've noticed they're a little different.

Okay! Who wants to start?

Okay? I'll let you ride up front on the way back. All right?

Okay? Sure.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right. Now easy. Easy. Up. Easy.

Okay. I won't look. I'm not looking.

Okay. It's not my strength, but...

Okay. Watch it.

On the basis of possibly two attacks on the doctor,

On the first Monday of every month,

On the line! Yeah!

Once I did put on a dress and I...

One away.

One down in North Carolina wiped out his whole family.

One guy barely speaks, one thinks he's Jesus,

One more afternoon in the rec room,

One of the last of the great idealists.

One of these patients has not been outside

One on the rocks, and a Heineken.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh. I don't know, Doctor. I don't know if 25's gonna do it.

Or hear the crowd roar when Mattingly hits one out.

Or maybe we should just hug.

Or my standing at the hospital.

Organization is the key.

Our goals?

Out of my way, asshole.

Paranoid delusion.

Paranoid schizophrenic.

Parrots are green and canaries are yellow.

Particularly by these patients.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Perhaps I'd better bring my remarks to a close.

Phew. Maybe it was me. I always get really scared when I'm down here.

PHIL RIZZUTO: All right, Steve Kiefer will be the batter.

Phone calls made from this extension here.

Ping pong with Kenny.

Pitcher's in trouble! Pitcher's in trouble!

Playing left field, Pete Stanicek.

Playing left field, Pete Stanicek.

Playing left field, Pete Stanicek.

Please don't. It's not worth it.

Please.

Postmodernist, neo cubist.

PREACHER ON RADIO: We see a church that is weak,

PREACHER: And know his divine love, they will suffer!

PREACHER: Discover in themselves the lord Jesus Christ...

PREACHER: Do you know who you are?

PREACHER: I know my identity.

Private property.

Probably the nicest Army Navy store I've ever been in,

Psychiatrist in the neighborhood?

Public property.

Pull Weitzman out of the hospital

Put this in your report.

Put your hand down, Jack.

Put your hands behind your back!

Quite a devoted staff, Dr. Weitzman.

Quite candidly, Jeff,

Ready?

Ready? Let's go.

Really love these things.

Really? Okay. No, no, no, that's okay. Thanks.

Really? We got it?

Really? Where?

Really... Look at that ball. It keeps going up, and you swing under it.

Relax, Meekum. The guy only weighs 150 pounds soaking wet.

Remember, we had to restrain one of them.

Repeating all I've told you

Restaurant security. Just a minor utensil violation.

Right after the war.

Right! Tom! Tom Canning!

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Riley, this is Henry, this is Jack and this is Albert.

Riley.

Room 555?

Room 555? Thank you.

Room 555. For a John Doe, he's awfully popular.

Room's closed. Get lost.

Safe at home!

Sane people get all the breaks, huh?

Say nighty night and kiss me

Say, I hear we're having chicken chow mein tonight.

Second at Daytona.

See action, I mean?

See if there have been any accidents.

See those two towers over there? Yeah, World Trade Center.

See, Weitzman knew what he was doing.

See? Turn your ass around, or I'll blow your head off.

She hasn't heard from you in a year and a half, Henry.

She just found her mother's head in the dryer.

Shit!

Short term trauma of the parietal lobe.

Shouldn't you be in group, Henry?

Sit here and stay out of trouble, okay?

Smudges, poor penmanship, no regard for margins.

So I know what I'm talkin' about, all right?

So lost.

So where are these other, um...

So, am I walking home with an escaped mental patient, or what?

So, shall we?

So, you got a lady here to see you.

So, you know, you can't really blame me for that, can you?

Some dude. I never saw him before.

Some dude. I never saw him before.

Some of the staff seem to feel this whole trip

Somebody's gotta warn Dr. Weitzman.

Somebody's trying to kill Dr. Weitzman.

Someone is trying to kill my doctor.

Sometimes becomes the focus for

Sometimes burdened Say now

Soon as I hear, Murray.

Sorry, Jack.

Sorry. He only wants one thing, honey.

Sounds dull.

Spread your legs! Let's go!

Stairs! Stairs! Come on.

Star fading but I linger on, dear

Staring at the goddamn walls right now, but we're not.

Stars shining bright above you

Statements from Dr. Jeffrey Weitzman

Stay out of my psychosis and get your ass in that van.

Still craving your kiss

Stop those guys!

Stop!

Stop! Who dares to tow the van of the living Christ?

Straight ahead, 71 miles.

Straight. Is that left?

Straighten out that chair.

Strike three, Doc. There's no joy in Mudville.

Sue.

Suitcases and go on back to Bogalusa?

Sure, you can. You just say,

Sure. Take this one.

Surrendered to police this afternoon.

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you

Swing and a miss.

Swings under that rising fastball.

Take a look at this guy.

TALMER: We are the doctors! They are the patients!

Tell him to hold it.

Tell them I'm in charge. Assistant?

Tell us now.

Ten more minutes of this, I'm gonna lock them up.

Thank you, Dr. Newald.

Thank you, Officer. I won't let you down.

Thank you.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

Thank you. Thank you. Okay? You all right?

Thanks, I will.

Thanks, Jack.

Thanks, Officer. We'll just be a minute.

Thanks.

Thanks.

That automatically puts me in charge.

That Caufield guy lives in a fantasy world.

That does it, Caufield. Electroshock.

That guy had no right to be an NHL referee.

That is a serious infraction of hospital rules.

That is one of my favorite scenes of all time.

That maniac took my seat!

That might embarrass the hospital or your good name, sir.

That movie about those gigantic wolves that come out at night,

That story just keeps gettin' funnier.

That was never discussed. Was it?

That was the 15th Precinct.

That we do.

That's a definite yes. JACK: All he said was, Big inning.

That's better.

That's Brian's cupcake.

That's good.

That's gotta be worth a couple hours of my time.

That's him.

That's my diagnosis too.

That's not fun.

That's not funny.

That's not ours. That's Ed's.

That's public property.

That's what he called me.

That's what this group is about. We're a team.

The advertising business, where he belongs.

The arrival of two new pandas,

The bad news is the patient's starting to come around.

The city of New York, Tarzan.

The designated hitter, batting sixth, Jim Traber.

The doctor will be back any minute now.

The fine houses, the fancy cars,

The flashy clothes!

The four are believed to be responsible for the attack on their doctor

The four patients were singled out for high praise

The guy called me shithead.

The guy doesn't show, we're open 24 hours. (PHONE RINGING)

The James Joyce of Chef Boyardee. (LAUGHS) Remember that?

The Lord sent me. Now, I know the last time he sent me

The Lord will judge them, Dr. Bauer, not you.

The man's a giant in the field.

The men have just been arraigned at 100 Center Street,

The milkman hurries by

The moment seems so fleeting

The names of the guys in the group.

The one big soul that belongs to everybody.

The only thing I've missed in the last year and a half is you.

The orders came down this morning.

The other guy's much younger. That's all I know.

The patient has a fractured ankle,

The patients are William Caufield,

The pieces of paper in the world right where they are.

The rec hall will look pretty damn good from the bowels of hell.

The state hospital has just released photographs

Their real identities are creeping back slowly.

Then he sneaks off to call his broker.

Then stay and say it over and over

Then that's where we're going.

Then when the hour grows late

Then...

There are some patients that just make

There are your patients, Doctor.

There have been a number of obscene

There it is, guys. New York.

There's a doctor down there who believes in me.

There's security on the room?

There's two cops, and they could go back at any time.

There's two guys trying to kill him, and they're both cops.

These chairs are all wrong.

These gentlemen are involved as well.

They arrested those other patients.

They call it a low frustration tolerance.

They called here this afternoon.

They crucified me.

They don't get a name on him or something

They found Alvarez's body in a warehouse over on 47th

They got this shit hangin' out their mouth and stuff.

They laugh at me all the time, but I know they need me now.

They shot it right down here. You know why?

They threw me a party, and here I am.

They tried to smother him.

They went that way.

They were due back at 11:30. I thought I should call you.

They're a couple of beauties.

They're bickering. They're annoying the hell out of each other.

They're gonna throw some lights up in the rec room.

They're just a bunch of screwballs from my group.

They're undercover cops. One guy's older with gray hair.

They're very close.

They're very hostile towards authority.

They're what?

They've gotten themselves pretty worked up.

Third base, leading off, Wayne Tolleson.

This better be good.

This doctor brings us into the city to see a Yankee game,

This guy got the crap kicked out of him.

This guy, he never stops.

This guy's been gone for hours.

This have something to do with Weitzman?

This I believe.

This is a brilliant manipulation of negative space.

This is Brian's cupcake.

This is crazy.

This is Dr. Meekum, our chief neurologist.

This is Dr. Verboven. I am a doctor. I am Dr. Talmer.

This is exactly where it happened. That was a true story.

This is God's way of telling us we're going to die.

This is going to look very, very, very good for you...

This is just Albert's way of dealing

This is not okay.

This is one of the nicest... No. This is

This is really a weird feeling.

This is the body and blood of our lord Jesus Christ.

This is the group that you want to take out tomorrow, Jeff.

This is what is known in legal circles

This is where you live?

This isn't for personal use, girls. Ah, ah! Hey! Hey!

This man is clinically insane!

This means a lot.

This officially concludes Mr. Alvarez's investigation.

This report should answer any questions.

This week at evening time

This whole thing bass ackwards.

Those guys are lab rats.

Those psychos must've done Alvarez too.

Those wolves actually happened. They live down here.

Thou shalt not have strange gods before me.

Three and two, bases loaded.

Three and two, bases loaded.

Throw four dogs in a room, they'll fight.

Thursday, chicken a la king.

Time for group, William.

To a bagel shop around the corner.

To be helpful, and we all appreciate it,

To charges of assault and attempted murder.

To finger painting class, are we?

To know I'll spend an hour or two

To leave behind the things of this world,

TOM: Memory Lane, huh, Jack?

TOM: Then it don't matter.

TOM: Wherever there's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there.

Tortured soul.

Trust me on this one, Hank.

Trying to accept reality as it is, you know,

Turned out pretty nice, didn't it?

Turns out it was a clerical mistake.

TV ANNOUNCER: Fastball is running up.

TV ANNOUNCER: For Baltimore, leading off,

TV ANNOUNCER: Holy cow, White! What a great day for a game.

TV ANNOUNCER: The catcher, batting fifth, Mickey Tettleton.

TV ANNOUNCER: What a great rendition of our national anthem.

TV.

Twitch and stuff... Oosh!

Two Jack Daniels, one on the rocks, and a Heineken.

U.S. Postal Service.

Uh, I see that you've met Albert and Henry and Jack.

Uh, listen, Tom, have you heard from Mitachi yet?

Uh, that's, uh... That's Molten Venus. You know Loucka?

Uh, we're in a phone booth on the corner of 61 st and Park.

Uncle Phil? Did Martha know about this?

Under my supervision!

Until you straighten out that chair.

Up against the wall. Let's go.

Us?

Vandal.

VERBOVEN: I'm... I'm a medical doctor!

Very thorough. Names, dates, dollar figures.

Vincente. Yo, we're not done yet.

Vital signs are good. Zip code checks out.

Wa, wa, wa, waah.

Wacko. I think you'd have done the same thing.

Wait a minute. Damn!

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait a second! Yo!

Want a practice one?

Was finding a position for Jack McDermott, not for Jesus Christ.

Watch this.

Watching Albert dying in here, that's drama.

We are all naked in the eyes of the lord.

We are never prepared for death,

We didn't do anything. Oh, no!

We don't want to have a wild shopping spree

We get to the stadium, that's your decision.

We got a night on the town.

We got it?

We got the spirit...

We got to get the van and then we gotta

We gotta come up with 165 big ones.

We had a majority.

We had you set a goal for yourself.

We have some reservations about the move.

We have to put you on a leash?

We parked our car in a forbidden zone!

We seek Christians who do not know who they are...

We seem to have lost ours.

We still have $42 left.

We'd better get there before he answers any questions.

We'll be with you in a minute, Jack.

We'll need a canoe to float out of here.

We're all gonna be there.

We're all in this together, right?

We're doctors. Remember, we're doctors.

We're getting better, and we're not gonna let them take us back

We're getting better.

We're goin' to a baseball game.

We're going with the veggies?

We're gonna be late for group.

We're lookin' good.

We're looking for something casual for the son of God.

We're not wackos, okay? Jack, not a peep out of the messiah.

We're ready to commit hari kari out here.

We're sweating out the call from John Benson right now.

We're the Doe brothers. Oh, Harriet, uh,

We're the drool patrol.

We've been talking about giving Jesus his walking papers,

We've got a dead New York City cop, and we've got a witness.

We've got a lot to talk about tonight.

We've got Officer Ianuzzi downstairs waiting in an ambulance.

Weitzman knew what he was doing.

WEITZMAN: All right, Bill. Bill.

WEITZMAN: Exactly. Fine. Right.

WEITZMAN: Good. Good.

WEITZMAN: Good. Thank you.

WEITZMAN: Guys, guys.

WEITZMAN: However, it did get you

WEITZMAN: I know that you're trying

WEITZMAN: I wish you'd take some of this

WEITZMAN: It's gonna be great, Jack.

WEITZMAN: It's great.

WEITZMAN: Look, look, look.

WEITZMAN: Okay, team.

WEITZMAN: So let's talk about you.

WEITZMAN: Some kinda town.

WEITZMAN: Thank you, Henry.

WEITZMAN: We got a beautiful day for the game.

WEITZMAN: We're all here for you.

WEITZMAN: Where are Talmer and Verboven?

WEITZMAN: You're doing great, Jack.

Weitzman?

Weitzman?

Weitzman? Is it Weitzman?

Well, actually, it's four bad dreams.

Well, actually, it's four bad dreams.

Well, Dr. Weitzman, I'll bet you didn't expect to see us, did you?

Well, he's in Mercy Hospital, but listen,

Well, his wife's been calling.

Well, I guess we should be thankful Murray didn't fit.

Well, I mean, it was a bet, you know. I...

Well, it kinda depends on the circumstances, Ed.

Well, it's a $30 million piece of old Nippon, Jack.

Well, it's the only thing we got right now. There's an APB out on 'em.

Well, last time we talked about

Well, looks like we're going to lose you.

Well, my original goal was to rid my agency of Satan's influence...

Well, okay.

Well, reality's messy, Henry.

Well, then get us a cab.

Well, things haven't changed much around here, Jack.

Well, we better get sane real goddamn fast.

Well, we just caught a major break.

Well, we ran into a little snag out here.

Well, well, well!

Well, you boys look like you're already back on Thorazine.

Well, you know we're under a little bit of a time crunch here.

Well, you know what?

Well, you really know your Loucka.

Well, you're not this crazy, are you?

What a stroker. Doc, let me ask you a question.

What about dinner?

What about my new goal? Daryl Hannah.

What are you talkin' about? They're cops.

What are you talking about?

What brings you up here, Doc?

What did he say?

What do I do?

What do you call finishing second at Daytona?

What do you want from me?

What kind of bonehead cop would send four confessed mental patients

What kind of moron takes four mental patients to a baseball game?

What kind of stretch are we talking about?

What the hell are you doing here?

What the hell is going on here?

What the hell was that?

What the hell, throw the other one up.

What the hell's the matter with you? Sure, I'm still acting.

What the the****utic value of a ballpark frank is for four psychotics.

What, are you suggesting an unsupervised trip?

What?

What?

What? What is it? What?

What? What? What?

What'd he say?

What'd I tell you?

What'll it be?

What's gonna happen to them?

What's hopeless? Me, you, those guys in there? What?

What's that?

What's the matter? Are you afraid of me or somethin'?

What's this talk about the girlfriends? I was kidding!

What's with you and chasing cars?

What's wrong with him? Gotta take a leak.

What's your problem?

When are you coming home to live with us some more?

When this guy comes out of it, he could put everything together for us.

When you and Satan were out chasing Daryl Hannah!

When you color it the right color.

When you're ready.

Where are you calling from?

Where the hell did you go to take that piss, Moscow?

Where the hell's Albert?

Where they entered pleas of not guilty

Where'd you get this little beauty?

Where's Dr. Weitzman, Albert?

Where's Riley and Weitzman?

Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there.

Which are a gift of the People's Republic of China.

Which way is Trenton?

While I am here repeating

While I'm alone and blue as can be

Who are being charged with the murder

Who is gonna take the call? Please don't leave God on hold.

Who is gonna witness for me? We got the Lord on the line!

Who makes more than minimum wage?

Who orders his pants through the mail?

Who the hell do you think you are?

Who you calling, Ed?

Who's gonna do the report on you, you jerk off?

Who's gonna get us our dinner?

Who's gonna get us our...

Who's gonna take us back?

Whoa!

Whoa! Hey, you can't tow this. There's a guy back there.

Whoa. Are you rejecting him?

Why a good looking guy like you has stayed single for so long.

Why can't you guys just watch the game on TV in the rec room?

Why didn't you answer my letters?

Why don't we bring this up in group?

Why don't we start by reviewing some goals from last time.

Why don't you go back to 48th Street and wait?

Why don't you let me out so I can find a regular girl?

Will the atheists be there?

Will you shut up? Don't touch it!

William, I want you to find a policeman...

William, you can lose your TV privileges for that!

With a bunch of schizophrenics.

With the United States Marine Corps,

With things right now. Okay? Sit down.

With two .38 slugs in his head.

WOMAN ON PA: Dr. Rebell to admitting.

WOMAN ON TV: Then what, Tom?

WOMAN: (SINGING) Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back

WOMAN: And don't you come back no more

WOMAN: And don't you come back no more

WOMAN: And don't you come back no more

WOMAN: And don't you come back no more

WOMAN: And don't you come back no more

WOMAN: Buster!

WOMAN: Hit the road, Jack

WOMAN: Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back

WOMAN: Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back

WOMAN: Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back

WOMAN: Hit the road, Jack And don't you come back

WOMAN: I don't care if you do 'Cause it's understood

WOMAN: In broad daylight.

WOMAN: Oh, the pain.

WOMAN: That's right

WOMAN: That's right

WOMAN: What? The Mitachi account!

WOMAN: What? The Mitachi account!

WOMAN: Who is it, dear?

WOMAN: Why don't you just pack your little

WOMAN: Witness!

WOMAN: You are ridiculous!

WOMAN: You find yourself. Well, if you do and when you do...

Work at the department of sanitation, right?

Working with metal. Next on Mr. Fix It.

Would someone please take me back to my room!

Would you mind cleaning up your area?

Wouldn't you like to go out with a guy

Wow. (CLICKS TONGUE)

Wrong.

Yeah, but he nodded when he said it. Watch.

Yeah, but that was this morning.

Yeah, but that's the point.

Yeah, but that's what makes him such a great diagnostician.

Yeah, I had 'em committed. They were totally out of control, Doc.

Yeah, it does. It makes me really uncomfortable.

Yeah, listen, I got a 10:00 at Bristol. Um...

Yeah, sure. What? Um...

Yeah, well, we were just wondering

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Alcohol for the unstable. I love it.

Yeah. Could you recommend a good clinical

Yeah. Dwight, right?

Yeah. He said they're playing two tonight at the stadium.

Yeah. Henry, would you mind if I made a small observation?

Yeah. Just hold on a second, Albert.

Yeah. Self inflicted. Right.

Yeah. This is Ed Nivens. Yes, it's an emergency!

Yeah. To Phil Rizzuto.

Yeah. Uh, no, it healed up great.

Yeah. You did.

Yeah. You guys really had me going there for a minute.

Yeah. You guys see those tiles up there, all those individual tiles?

Yeah. You used to work at Lenox Hill.

Yeah. Your friends look like they've seen a little action too.

Yes, Billy!

Yes, brothers.

Yes, but I think that the revised goal that we talked about

Yes, but I was lost!

Yes, Henry.

Yes, yes.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! Amen!

Yes! You are the son of God!

Yes. I was dancin' with alcohol.

Yes. I'd have to say the prognosis looks very good.

Yes. That's right. I thought it was pretty strange myself at the time.

Yes. This is our group, Ed.

Yet wave

You ain't got no money You're just no good

You almost knocked that plant over!

You and these guys get together

You are a lot better than that guy.

You are nuts! Don't touch that!

You better give me that gun for safekeeping.

You can almost hear him ticking.

You can lose a lot of privileges for this behavior.

You can't go anywhere! I'm in charge here!

You can't go like that. You're naked.

You can't touch one of his nudes

You comedy guys! (LAUGHS)

You could lose your privileges right there, Mr. Caufield.

You could turn around

You didn't do us a lot of good on the last one, Doc.

You don't have the medical background to squeeze a pimple!

You don't understand!

You each get $10 for some hot dogs at the stadium.

You get us somethin'.

You got it.

You got more of a sense of humor about this than I do.

You got your shoes on.

You guys must be Riley's theater group, right?

You guys ought to be cast into the outer darkness.

You guys were all excited when I first mentioned it.

You have called, and I have answered!

You hold it like a goddamn doorman.

You just stay right where you are. Okay.

You know what I find fascinating?

You know what I'm saying?

You know what's going on, don't you? You know.

You know who you are.

You know why it's a brilliant manipulation of negative space?

You know, actually, I lied.

You know, I've had my differences with Henry in the past,

You know, it takes time, but you're doing great.

You know, it's funny the hot dog guy hasn't been around.

You know, she still refuses to give us her phone number.

You know, the smartest thing you

You know, three weeks ago, before we came off medication,

You listen to me, you nut ball. I got big news for you.

You mean us? But we're crazy.

You might find yourself out of the group.

You mind?

You never made it to Vietnam, Bill.

You raised yourself from the dead, right?

You satisfied?

You see those tiles? They're leaking water right there!

You think they're gonna let you out?

You think we should refuse to pay the check?

You thinkin' about coming back into the ad game?

You told me you played for the New York Rangers.

You told me you were datin' him.

You treated me for a scalp wound a couple years ago.

You wanna know why?

You wanna talk about this, Jack?

You wanna try?

You want another one?

You want to talk about what just happened here?

You were going to work on saying

You weren't there!

You. It's awful.

You'll be whistling a different tune at 240 volts.

You'll find out who's in charge.

You'll have to wait for my report.

You're a den mother.

You're a sick man.

You're a very disturbed young man.

You're busting my balls.

You're gonna be the first supreme being

You're gonna find out that chaos is okay, Henry.

You're gonna give this guy a complex.

You're having a psychotic episode.

You're living in a fantasy world, William.

You're my kind of neurologist. Fellas, let's do it. Huh?

You're not a doctor!

You're not allowed to leave the group without permission!

You're not drooling.

You're not out of here in 30 seconds, you got a night in jail.

You're outta here.

You're the meanest old woman that I ever have seen

You're too damn scared to be a real person.

You're very welcome.

You've got the large in here with the extra large.

Your colleagues have come to take you home.

Your John Doe's in 409. I'll be with you in a minute.

Your lunch date is here.

12 bucks.

25 milligrams won't make a dent in Gomez.

42 bucks would get us four in the bleachers

50 for the fine, 75 for the tow.

50 for the violation.

75 for the tow.

151 Central Park West.

555?

555. Thanks.

911.

...Dr. Weitzman's assistant. I'm having real trouble with these patients.

'Cause I'll get back on my feet someday

'Cause you're a professional basket case.

(ACCORDION CONTINUES)

(ACCORDION PLAYING)

(ALBERT WHIMPERING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(BARS RATTLING)

(BELCHES)

(BLOWS LANDING) (MAN GRUNTING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(CAR HORN HONKING) Excuse me.

(CHANTING) We got Mitachi! We got Mitachi!

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES) Looked just like mine.

(CHUCKLES) Nah. I got a weekend pass.

(CHUCKLING)

(CHUCKLING)

(CHUCKLING) How's that sound?

(CHUCKLING) Oh, God.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(CLICKS TONGUE) Well, I'm not sure

(CONGREGATION MURMURS)

(COUGHS)

(DINERS GASPING)

(DOG BARKING)

(DOOR SLAMMING SHUT)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(DOORS OPEN)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

(ENGINE REVVING)

(ENGINE STARTS)

(ENGINE STARTS)

(GASPING) My God!

(GASPS) Hey!

(GASPS) Where was I?

(GIGGLES)

(GIGGLING)

(GLASS BREAKING)

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

(GUN CLICKS)

(GUN FIRING)

(HIT THE ROAD JACK PLAYING ON RADIO)

(HIT THE ROAD JACK PLAYING ON RADIO)

(HIT THE ROAD JACK PLAYING)

(HORN HONKING)

(HORNS HONKING)

(HOWLING)

(IMITATING ENGINE)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

(INHALES) We got it.

(INHALING AND EXHALING)

(JACK SIGHING)

(KNOCKING)

(KNOCKING) Yes?

(LAUGHING CONTINUES)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING) Okay.

(LAUGHS) Don't get too normal on me, okay?

(LAUGHS) Totally.

(LAUGHS) Wait. Don't tell me.

(LAUGHS) We already are lost. Thanks anyway.

(LAUGHS) You guys! You're always on, aren't you, right?

(LAUGHS) You stand up guys are something else.

(MAN SOBBING)

(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

(MEN LAUGHING)

(MEN YELLING)

(MOANS)

(MONITOR BEEPING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(RADIO CHATTER CONTINUES)

(RADIO DISPATCHER INDISTINCT)

(SALSA MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO)

(SCOFFING) See what I'm up against, Doctor?

(SCOFFS)

(SCOFFS)

(SCOFFS) Do you miss it?

(SCOFFS) Fine. Fine.

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SHOUTING IN APPROVAL)

(SHOUTING)

(SHOUTS OF AFFIRMATION)

(SHOUTS OF AFFIRMATION)

(SIGHING)

(SIGHING) Four minutes and 27 seconds, Mr. Caufield.

(SIGHING) Oh. Exactly.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS) A woman sometimes finds that attractive in a man.

(SIGHS) All I'm asking you guys for is a

(SIGHS) Can you get up to Mercy Hospital?

(SIGHS) I don't know why.

(SINGING) Hit the road, Jack

(SINGING) Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee

(SINGING) Sometimes burdened down

(SINGSONG) Albert's gotta go! Albert's gotta go!

(SIREN BLARING)

(SIREN BLARING)

(SIREN CHIRPS)

(SIREN WAILING)

(SIREN WAILING)

(SIREN WAILING)

(SIREN WAILING)

(SIREN WAILING)

(SIREN WAILING)

(SLURPING)

(SNICKERING)

(SNICKERING)

(SNORTING) Doc. I get up. I take a shower. I put on my clothes.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(SQUEAKING)

(STAMMERING)

(STRANGERS IN THE NIGHT PLAYING ON PA)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(THUNDERING CONTINUES)

(THUNDERING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(TIRES SCREECH) Jack, come here.

(TRUCK HONKING)

(TV ANNOUNCER CONTINUES)

(TV CROWD CHEERING)

(TV TURNING OFF)

(UPBEAT BRASS MUSIC PLAYING)

(WHIMPERING)

(WHISPERING) Billy, I think they're here.

(WHISPERS)

(YELLING) I'll straighten out the chair!