Foul Play (1978) Edit

A big one, yeah.

A dwarf?

A little simple, perhaps. But then, he had very little education.

A man with a scar.

A murder. I wanna report a murder.

A nice little man. You know, a dwarf.

A symbol of the vast wealth and corporate power

About a guy named Stiltskin?

Alias The Dwarf. He's the head of the assassination team.

All right!

All right! OK!

All right.

All we did was get an emergency call on a homicide.

Always the good one...

An early morning fisherman spotted him.

And all is right as right can be

And all that is required of you

And behind those blue eyes is a fruitcake with a homicidal umbrella.

And bring you the promise of eternal rest.

And don't worry. I promise I'll be here for your wedding.

And finally, for infighting, the punch of power.

And found you unconscious on the kitchen floor.

And gave Scotty some evidence about tomorrow's job.

And goodbye, bridesmaids,

And here we go.

And hide behind those glasses. Look at you.

And his name was Kiyato, and he was a pretty good cook.

And I gotta go warm up the weenies.

And I have no intention...

And I think you helped me make up my mind.

And I wouldn't steer you wrong, would I?

And I'll be upstairs in a flash, kicking ass.

And I'll bet he's the one who killed Scotty.

And I'm ready for a night out on the town.

And if anything disturbs you in the middle of the night,

And if, perchance, our things...

And it's my job to see to it that I get there first.

And look, I just do that

And lucky for him, you didn't have your umbrella.

And made him Headsman For we said

And now you have this cop inviting you

And send out for pizza.

And so the economic system supported them.

And so we straight let out on bail A convict from the county jail

And that's why I've been assigned to protect you.

And the license plate of the black limousine, 121 TCE.

And the phone...

And the poker too. Or did you do that?

And the poker too. Or did you do that?

And the window...

And then he had the police bring my car back this morning.

And this is my sometime partner, Lieutenant Carlson.

And we could take a leaf from their book, if they had books.

And we gotta prevent it.

And we just fished his body out of the bay.

And we're digging up nothing on nothing.

And you can't move merchandise like that anymore.

And you have the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen.

And you woke up insisting that there's a dead body around here.

And you're very pretty with or without cleavage and...

Any more news on Turk?

Anybody here?

Anything you say.

Anyway, I've already locked the front. You can go out the back

Are you into that too? Me as well.

Are you out of your mind?

Are you Tony Carlson, the cop friend of Gloria's?

Arresting the mayor for speeding and then cuffing him.

Arrived today in Washington for an informal visit with the president.

At a huge White House reception attended by what appeared to be

At once I go Mikado wards

Away you go Collect your hordes

Be careful here. It's very slippery at night

Be quiet.

Before the reception.

Besides... I always had a yearning for the criminal life.

Beware of The Dwarf.

Beware of the midgets. They're taking over the world.

Black belt, 1945.

Blows the pipes.

Bravo!

Bravo!

Bravo! Bravo!

Bring up the curtain, bring up the curtain!

But first, this message.

But he gave me nothing.

But I can't do it.

But I wouldn't go in there if I were you.

But it was so real. And that warning about the murder was so sinister.

But it was there, in those hellholes,

But it's a matter of life and death. It's very important.

But it's beautiful outside.

But it's true. It really happened.

But she's got the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen.

But the opera house is clear across town, and it's already past 7.

But the plan is still gonna work.

But the secretary told the cab driver that...

But they did have this wizened old witch doctor,

But they were onto him. They killed him.

But why kill the pope? He means nothing to you.

But you don't understand. The body has disappeared.

But, Sylvia... Sylvia.

But...

Call Coleman. Tell him to have all units in the vicinity

Can be

Can't you hear that applause?

Certainly.

Chaucer and I, we've been getting along just great.

Cigarettes?

Come from a ladies' seminary Freed from its genius tutelary

Come here.

Come on in here. I think you better sit down.

Come on, Gloria, take a chance.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, let's go. Tony's waiting for you at the station.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. We gotta get to the opera house!

Come on. We'll talk in the lobby. OK!

Come over here.

Come quickly! There's a man dead in there!

Come to think of it,

Condemned to be mown off

Continuing on his international goodwill tour, Pope Pius Xlll

Cops have the best dope.

Could you describe this Turk?

Could you get me the police?

Crunch. Right in the nuts.

Damn it, I should have stayed with her.

Damn it. Three left.

Darling, you are out of eggs and cottage cheese.

Did the...? Did the meeting go well?

Did you believe I was kidnapped?

Did you see him? That was him. That was the dwarf.

Didn't anyone ever tell you that eavesdropping is not nice?

Didn't you want to...?

Dingbat!

Do ye your worst, my vengeance call Shall rise triumphant over all

Do you have any binoculars?

Do you know what they would do to me?

Do you think he's not gonna try for a little nookie?

Do you think she's been kidnapped by this fellow, Stiltskin?

Do you...? Do you mind if I make myself comfortable?

Doesn't mean that you give up.

Don't be silly.

Don't tell me he got away.

Don't worry, Gloria.

Don't you think we should get out of here? Turk's disappeared.

Don't you, you wicked girl? Don't you?

Down to the station house on your lunch hour.

Drop the gun, or I'll shoot.

Dwarf? Listen...

Eight, nine, ten, 11... And double that...

Esme! Get away from those cookies! Esme, get away!

Esme.

Esme.

Esme...

Ever see that Arizona Highways?

Everything is a source of fun

Everything is gonna be all right. We're perfectly safe.

Everything is quite correct All is quite correct

Exactly.

Except the Chinese sailor doesn't know that.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. This will just take a second.

Extremely cute.

Fancy layout.

Far out.

Far out.

Fergie?

Fergie.

Filled to the brim with girlish glee Three little maids from school

Fine with me, Gloria. Anything you say.

Fine.

For joy reigns everywhere around

For joy reigns everywhere around

For joy reigns everywhere around

For joy reigns everywhere around

For the taxation of these billion dollar corporations.

For young and old And shy and bold

Forced us to come up with a contingency plan.

Fred, turn off the projector. Put on the houselights.

From St. Damien's halfway house.

Gee, gotta run.

Gee, Scotty, I don't think there is a dwarf in this movie.

Get away from that! Hear?

Get out of here!

Get them before they get you.

Gloria Mundy.

Gloria, do me a favor.

Gloria, I don't believe you.

Gloria, I need your help.

Gloria, just sit back and enjoy the fire.

Gloria, sweetheart, we live in a violent society. Weirdoes all around.

Gloria, this has got to stop.

Gloria, what are you doing?

Gloria...

Go ahead, take it. I'm finished.

Go on. Go and I'll keep an eye on your clothes.

Go out there and call the police.

Go, leave thy deadly work undone

God.

God. Never do it again.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon. I'm sorry to bother you.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Good news.

Good night, John.

Good night, Your Excellency.

Good shot.

Goodbye.

Great.

Happy Trails, I think they called it.

Harry!

Has been hired for the job.

He brought me home last night, and...

He did. His name's Bob Scott.

He hung up.

He is a symbol,

He said he knew your pastor and would get in touch with you later.

He said, Beware of the dwarf.

He thinks I've been dreaming or something.

He tried to kill me.

He tried to murder me, but I stabbed him with the needles.

He usually objected

He was all wet and bleeding.

He was such a nice man.

He will also fire if the pope unexpectedly leaves his seat

He'll meet with the president and congressional leaders tomorrow

He'll meet with the president and congressional leaders tomorrow

He's really nice.

He's the one who killed the man with the scar.

He's waiting for the Chinese sailor,

He's with the FBI. Gloria, get in.

Hello there, can I help you?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Police?

Hello? Yes.

Hello.

Hello. How you feeling?

Help you? I don't know this place.

Here it is, my own little beaver trap.

Here we are, foxy loxy.

Here we are, with a 13 and a Double Word Score.

Here you are, sweet thing.

Here you go. Drink this, and it's off to bed.

Here, finish your milk.

Here, I bought you some more.

Here, I've got a picture of him. I'll show you.

Hey, Chaucer,

Hey, come over here. I wanna talk to you.

Hey, give me that.

Hey, hey. What's...?

Hey, I love old movies.

Hey, I play detective. You play lady in distress.

Hey, listen, this is serious.

Hey, relax.

Hey, this is the way to the bridge.

Hey, wait a minute. It's my ass they're after.

Hey, what... Where you going?

Hey, you! Look, I'm a police officer.

Hey! Hey, wait! Wait! Wait!

Hey.

Hi, Fergie.

Hi. Thanks.

His name is Stiltskin,

His twin brother?

Hiya, toots.

Holy shit.

How about a joint?

How are you feeling?

How do you know about Monica?

How foil my foe?

How long has she been doing all this?

How many times have I told you? Do not eat the cigarettes!

How you doing?

How'd you like a little soak in the bathtub?

How'd you like to take a little bath? Would you like that?

How's that?

Huh? Oh, yeah.

I almost got killed.

I carried you to the couch...

I checked all the windows and the doors, everything.

I claim my perjured lover, Nanki Pooh

I come off too strong.

I did.

I did. Except he killed him after I killed him.

I didn't... I didn't know what sort of place it was.

I do my job pretty well.

I don't know what could have happened to him.

I don't know, all this stuff...

I don't know, but they do.

I don't know. I just have this strange feeling

I don't mind telling you, Tony, that this one's got me scared.

I don't think it's necessary.

I don't understand.

I don't understand. He was dead.

I feel the earth move Under my feet

I feel the sky tumbling down A tumbling down

I felt it was the least I could do.

I gotta get to the opera house, and you gotta drive me.

I guess it's back to basics.

I guess you can't trust first impressions.

I had to break the lock.

I haven't given up. I came to this party, didn't I?

I just lose control

I know the address of the building they held me in.

I know, the weather's awful outside.

I know.

I mean, God, any man would love a woman who lays it on the line.

I mean, I've been in America for two years, and...

I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that. I mean, human desire...

I mean, they got killings of their own to worry about, you know?

I never do anything.

I never knew there was such diversity.

I never met anybody who ever lived on a houseboat before.

I promise I'll check that out first thing in the morning.

I promise you, we'll find out who and why.

I read about it in Penthouse. Just a second.

I remember in Africa, in Kenya,

I saw you out front.

I spoke with her landlord, and he said that she left this morning to meet you.

I swear he gave me nothing except a pack of cigarettes.

I swear. I'll never do it again. I promise.

I tell you, I've been on some dumb calls in my time, but this one tops them.

I think I'd rather see you as a bride.

I think it's time we made murder a four letter word.

I think this is for you.

I think we both knew it was coming, and it was kind of sad for both of us.

I think we got off on the wrong foot.

I think you spell that word with a hyphen.

I think you're being a little hard on yourself.

I think you're wrong.

I think you're wrong.

I thought I would bring it over.

I thought it was a health club.

I thought it would be nice to kiss you.

I thought Sergeant Ferguson was supposed to be here.

I thought when you were suspended, I'd have a three week vacation.

I thought you had a nice smile.

I thought you had a nice smile.

I thought you were a dwarf.

I thought you were a klutz.

I thought you were cute.

I thought you were cute.

I thought you...

I traced the number on that black limousine.

I wanna take a ride along the coast, and then I have to get back to the city.

I want to have a word with you.

I want you to stay with her all day.

I was framed.

I was just gonna kill a fly.

I was just taking a shot.

I was studying the Ibutu tribe, fascinating society,

I wasn't trying anything. I just told her what you told me to tell her.

I will tell Gloria. She's back at the house.

I would have hit him with my umbrella.

I wouldn't be surprised.

I...

I... I have an interesting job. I... I work for the city.

I'd have never had me a daughter, but if I did,

I'd never met the man with the scar before.

I'd want her to be you.

I'll call you tomorrow.

I'll come back tomorrow after work.

I'll go and close the curtains.

I'll never forget my mother and parole officer getting together with the priest

I'll pick them up tomorrow. Love, Monica.

I'll tear the mask from your disguising

I'm a putz.

I'm awfully sorry.

I'm gonna take you home.

I'm here to make sure that you're safe. In fact...

I'm inspector Ferguson, ma'am,

I'm Lieutenant Carlson. This is Inspector Ferguson.

I'm merely a salesman of the divine Word.

I'm not sure, but I think it was because of the cigarettes.

I'm on to a fascinating sleuth, you know, research is so exciting.

I'm pouring you a nice, warm albino martini.

I'm put on this world to do my thing.

I'm really glad that you were assigned to protect me.

I'm really in a bind. I've gotta be in the city by 5.

I'm so glad I could help.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You'll have to see the manager.

I'm sorry. You're right.

I'm sure of it. But I think I know where to begin looking.

I'm too pushy. I annoy people. That's my personality.

I'm trying to keep it down to a pack a day.

I'm with the police. We need some assistance. You wanna help us out?

I've been looking forward to this meeting for some time.

I've got it all.

I've got it! It must have been the albino.

I've got this pain up and down here. All I wanted was a little...

I've got to have your undivided attention.

I've heard that name somewhere before.

I've never had it before.

If by the end of the first act the pope has not yet been dispatched,

If Gloria's in trouble, I'm going with you.

If it's gonna affect you the way it does, huh?

If it's that important, I'll come right away.

If there really is somebody out there trying to kill you,

If you want to know who we are

In fact, I feel certain now that the opera gala will be a triumph.

In that case, come inside. Tell me about it.

In the nation's capital, then travel to Chicago and Los Angeles,

In the past, people rose up and slaughtered their kings.

In vain for mercy On your knees you'll sue

Instead of pulling that weird stunt in the theater, huh?

Interested?

Is Archbishop Thorncrest in?

Is gonna take place here in the city, Thursday night.

Is he that football player that wears the pantyhose on television?

Is this a stable?

Is to consider the possibility of coming closer to God.

Isn't that marvelous? It's so exciting, so ecumenical, so...

It has severe taboos on murder and light taboos on sex.

It has some pictures there, and Gloria felt maybe it would help...

It is foolproof.

It is your ass they're after,

It says there that she and her husband

It was nice meeting you again. Bye.

It was right there! Didn't you see it?

It was tough. All those books.

It was you who was asking for me at the library.

It was, Beware of the dwarf.

It's a fascinating thing. I mean, take me for instance.

It's a life and death situation, so move over, buddy.

It's expected he will be given the maximum penalty.

It's Gloria Mundy.

It's not every day I get rescued by a girl in a yellow convertible.

It's only 6:45.

It's registered to the archbishop of San Francisco.

It's rented on a yearly basis to a guy called... Stiltskin.

It's so beautiful here.

It's when they say I love you that you gotta watch out.

It's... a training film. It's purely educational.

J.J. MacKuen.

J.J. MacKuen's my name, and life's my game.

Jesus!

Just a moment.

Just a second, Stella. Somebody's at the door.

Just because you've had one bad experience

Just give me what Scott gave you yesterday.

Just have Mrs. Monk see what she can come up with.

Just testing.

Just wanna ask him a couple of questions.

Keep away from me!

Keep away from me.

Kind of greedy.

Kojak!

Lady, you made a fool out of me in there!

Lady... I don't want any trouble.

Laid eyes on me. What were you thinking?

Last night, you didn't believe the story I told you, did you?

Leave it to me. I know just the thing for your mood.

Let go of me!

Let me see, now...

Let's see. One, two, five, six.

Lieutenant Carlson from the police...

Like my dear, dead brother.

Like that man told you in the movies last night,

Listen, as you say over here,

Listen, I got a lot to tell you.

Listen, I have to go.

Listen, you meet me at Gloria's.

Listen. Many lives are in danger. My life, your life.

Listen. You shouldn't go to picture shows like this and smoke that stuff

Look out!

Look upon me as an instrument

Look, Gloria...

Look, I know it sounds strange, but somebody cleaned the place up.

Look, I'm sorry, Harry. Intermission's in 20 minutes,

Look, we'll talk about it in the lobby, huh?

Looks like we might have some rain.

Lower the curtain. And bring that other thing down.

Maybe they'll come up with something.

Meet me outside the opera house.

Mine's Bob Scott. Everybody calls me Scotty.

Miss Casswell, does the name Stiltskin mean anything to you?

Miss Casswell, then come right back here.

Miss Casswell, why don't you show the lieutenant Turk's quarters.

Miss Mundy, why take this attitude?

Monica drowned this morning, and...

Mr. Hennesey, he didn't. He said, Beware of the dwarf!

Mr. Hennesey?

Mr. MacKuen?

Mrs. Monk, what do you know about the Tax the Churches League?

Mundy. Gloria Mundy.

Must be on the other side. You stay here till we get him.

Must be that idiot, Turk.

My brother.

My darling, if you believe it, I believe it.

My date. He was right here. I swear.

My girlfriend Sally, she's getting married on Saturday.

My home.

My name is Stanley Tibbets. Do you go to these bars often, Gloria?

My pleasure.

My single worst problem as a child.

My wrongs with vengeance Shall be crowned

New York is the first of five stops for His Holiness in this country.

Next up, the vice president arrives in San Francisco.

No matter.

No one thinks you are.

No report? But yesterday I...

No way. I can't be responsible for your safety too.

No, I don't do that anymore.

No, I think that's Delia Darrow.

No, it happened just now.

No, knitting. And...

No, no, no, no. No, I understand. Make yourself comfortable.

No, she's not.

No, thanks.

No, thanks. I can walk.

No, why?

No! No!

No.

No. No, I don't have to, Miss...

No. No, you don't understand! A man tried to kill me here tonight.

No...

Nobody's gonna mess with Stella unless Stella wants to be messed.

Nobody's safe for we care for none

Not life insurance, but life everlasting.

Not life insurance, but life everlasting.

Not me, nope.

Nothing. I went back to the library to work...

Nothing. Nothing on nothing. This is just great.

Now comes the blow

Now, I think somewhere we have to draw the line on christian charity.

Now, take tonight. Why don't you go out there and mingle,

Now, what is it I can do for you?

Objected, objected

Of course, this was before the war.

Of course, you never know with San Francisco weather.

Of course.

Of the United Nations General Assembly in New York.

Of the world's churches.

Of your...

Oh, all right, but hurry!

Oh, all right, I'll hold on, but hurry!

Oh, all right. But it is a retrospective, you know.

Oh, by the way, Gloria, I almost forgot.

Oh, don't turn the lights on just yet.

Oh, fool, to shun delights That never cloy

Oh, God! He'll be in one of the two organ bays, won't he?

Oh, he doesn't believe me.

Oh, he was a Bible salesman?

Oh, I don't think they let you smoke in here, Scotty.

Oh, I knew he was out to get...

Oh, I put them back in the basket.

Oh, I'm not working tomorrow. I'm home.

Oh, I'm sure of it.

Oh, it didn't work out so bad.

Oh, it is the most beautiful magazine, isn't it?

Oh, it was very nice meeting you. Bye.

Oh, it was very nice meeting you. Bye.

Oh, listen. I don't want you to think that I'm acting too strangely, but I have to...

Oh, Mr. Hennesey, that's sweet.

Oh, Mr. Hennesey. It's you.

Oh, Mr. Hennesey...

Oh, my God, it happened again.

Oh, my God, it's you.

Oh, my God!

Oh, narcotics, huh?

Oh, no, Mr. MacKuen.

Oh, no, no. I'm sure I'm gonna be out of here by tomorrow.

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. He's nice, really.

Oh, nothing special. I'm gonna go to a movie.

Oh, poor Esme. You frightened her.

Oh, really?

Oh, shit!

Oh, sing it, Stanley, baby.

Oh, Stella, he's not like that at all.

Oh, sure thing, baby.

Oh, that Monica. She's my maid.

Oh, that poor little man.

Oh, that's all right.

Oh, they're top quality.

Oh, too bad. Do you live in the city?

Oh, very well, indeed.

Oh, yeah. The one that kept telling you to start taking chances.

Oh, yes. They tried it again.

Oh, you don't believe me, do you?

Oh, you found the car.

Oh, you frightened me.

Oh, you know her. The one at the party.

Oh, you seem to be in a hurry. Not that I object.

Oh, you're really full of surprises.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh...

OK, but hurry up, we haven't got much time.

OK, Fergie, listen. If anything should come up,

OK, Gloria! What are we waiting for?

OK, Gloria. Be careful.

OK, I deserve that. But listen, it's Gloria, right?

OK, stay.

OK, then I'm gonna take off.

OK, we'll play whatever you like.

OK.

On many a screen and fan

On many a vase and jar

On no account are they to take any action until I arrive.

One day it's wet and foggy, and three hours later it's bright sunshine.

One little maid is a bride, Yum Yum Two little maids in attendance come

One, two, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, four... 15.

Open it.

Or if the police arrive in the auditorium.

Or is it a palace for the prince of the church?

Our suspects are albinos and chain smokers.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Over there, on the couch.

Pay for one and you get one free.

Perfect.

Perfect. Is that a shot? Thank you.

Pick someone... Oh, just a second.

Places he frequents, clubs, bars... Nothing so far.

Please, don't tell anybody you saw me here. It's my first time.

Please, help! Oh, my goodness.

Please. If I'm gonna do this right,

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz Oh, what a relief it is

Pope Pius XIII, on the first leg of his American tour,

Prepare for woe Ye haughty lords

Prepare yourself for news surprising

Proclaim your woe In dismal chords

Prowlers breaking into your apartment. Don't you see?

Quickly. A man's been killed!

**** is an act of violence. Remember that.

**** is not an act of sex.

Really, Gloria. Do you know the percentage of ****s from hitchhikers?

Really, honey, you gotta drag yourself into the '70s.

Really, I don't know what happened. I wasn't doing anything.

Really?

Really.

Really. Look, I've never been to one of those places before.

Right after he heard the cuckoo.

Right as right

Right, his name is Whitey Jackson.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right. Bye.

Right. Do you think Gloria's at the archbishop's?

Right. Look what happens.

Run, Gloria. It's a trap!

Rupert Stiltskin.

Scarface wanted to double cross his buddies

Scarface wanted to protect himself.

Scotty? Are you all right? Scotty?

Scotty.

Search the area, try to find some witnesses, huh?

See, I didn't really kill him. I just stabbed him with the needles.

See, the albino tried to kill me earlier,

See?

Shake your booty, take some chances.

Shall rise triumphant over all

Shall rise triumphant over all

She just said Fergie called and told her to meet you.

She sounds very efficient.

She steals me out of house and home.

She was a little puzzled when he told her to bring her umbrella.

She was one tough old mama.

She'll call you right back.

She's terrific.

She's terrific.

Shut up, Charlie. Don't excite yourself.

Sit down. Now, what's this about you leaving?

Six.

So go on.

So he killed the man with the scar to get them.

So so.

So the evidence was in the cigarette package that Scotty gave me.

So why don't you try it?

So you don't think I should call the police?

So you see? There's nothing to worry about.

So you shouldn't take it so seriously.

Somebody help me!

Stanley, I hope you don't mind that I stay here just a moment.

Stanley, listen to me. You've gotta help me.

Stiltskin?

Stiltskin...

Stop the film. Call the police.

Stop this thing!

Stressing the urgency of world peace and international harmony,

Such lovely pictures. I wonder if they still put it out.

Suppose that guy attacked you

Sure.

Sylvia. Where you going, honey?

Take me home, please.

Take this dime. Now, get out there and call the police.

Take this. Get them down.

Take your time, pussy pie.

Take, for instance, the average woman,

Talk about ancient.

Tell Coleman to meet me backstage. You come with me.

Tell Morgan I'm here. You check with security. Let's go.

Ten years ago, we attempted a peaceful campaign

Thank you very much.

Thank you, Mr. Hennesey. You've been wonderful.

Thank you.

Thanks for the flowers.

That all that violence is within me.

That I was capable,

That my employer wants you to have.

That somebody's trying to kill me.

That was a stupid, glib, chauvinist remark and I apologize.

That way!

That you have a strange feeling?

That's a boy. Go on. Go make breakfast.

That's a funny group for Turk to belong to.

That's fantastic.

That's great. Just tell them to hold on tight. I can't stop now.

That's my plan.

That's OK. If they say I like you, it's not so bad.

That's right, honey.

That's right.

That's the trouble.

That's what he told me. I expected to see her down here.

That's what the lady said. Look out. Hold on.

That's what the lady said. Look out. Hold on.

That's who Scotty told me about.

That's why I bought my ticket and came on in.

The albino is working for the dwarf.

The albino must have wanted the cigarettes too.

The body! Where's the body?

The car has been gone two days.

The cigarette pack when they took Scarface's body.

The dead body. It's gone! It vanished!

The Dwarf.

The echoes of our festival Shall rise triumphant over all

The headlines. Hey!

The new American Bible. The translation you can believe in.

The one Alan Ladd thinks kidnapped the old gypsy.

The opera must have already started.

The police?

The police? Whatever for?

The police... Contact the police.

The purpose of the new meetings is to establish a new framework...

The quarry is just entering the trap.

The smiling 72 year old pontiff received a warm reception

The son of your...

The statement will be made.

The two talked for more than an hour, after which the pontiff was honored

The usual.

The youth who winked a roving eye Or breathed a non connubial sigh

Then I joined the paramedics. That was tougher.

Then you got your mace. Zap. Right in the face.

Then? Right then?

There are men out there who are killers.

There she is!

There's a phone out by the pool.

There's going to be a murder.

There's nothing to... I am a police officer. It is an emergency.

There's some very mixed up people out there.

They found out about it, killed Scotty.

They got her upstairs. I'm all right. Go on.

They got her upstairs. I'm all right. Go on.

They have killings and executions and assassinations.

They killed him. That's his twin brother.

They make a grab for your tits, you just flick the switch.

They make a grab for your tits, you just flick the switch.

They may know about Delia Darrow,

They said you'd called about a murder.

They tried to kidnap the Reverend Billy Graham. Where's Gloria?

They used to have the most beautiful dude ranch near Phoenix.

They... They look like lovely Bibles to me.

They're blue. Drink your milk.

They're from the police. Are you all right?

They're only after one thing.

They're puny spirits with small minds.

They've never heard of it around here.

This file at the library on the Tax the Churches League.

This is a commendable society.

This is Miss Casswell.

This is Miss Mundy.

Thought it would be nice to kiss you.

Three little maids from school are we Pert as a schoolgirl well can be

Three little maids from school Three little maids who all unwary

Three little maids is the total sum Three little maids from school

Throughout his whole life, no one had ever given him a chance.

To bring about radical change is the historically proven path...

To find out about the Tax the Churches League.

To kill you? Well, you gonna call the police and tell them

To think that I was responsible,

Today addressed a special meeting

Today, I have brought with me a little present

Tonight's the beginning of a revolution long overdue.

Tony, here, he's a policeman. You know, a cop?

Tony, there's an old couple back there. They don't speak any English.

Tony, you gotta... You gotta stop them.

Tony! Tony! Help! Help! Tony!

Tony?

Tried to get the evidence back.

Trims the sails?

Triumphant over all

True, true. But, unfortunately, our paths didn't cross.

True.

Turk Farnum, the man who stole the car.

Uh oh, look out!

Uh oh. There we go. My fault. Very much my fault.

Unless he's the one that was driving that black limousine.

Until he's cut his own off His own off, his own off

Very happy to meet you. Please, sit down.

Vice president Abernathy arrives in Guam tonight,

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait!

Was thereupon condemned to die He usually objected

Watch out!

Watch your mouth. Watch it.

Watching horror movies and whispering, Look out for the elf.

We do not heed their dismal sound

We do not heed their dismal sound

We do not heed their dismal sound

We do not heed their dismal sound

We figure in lively paint Our attitude's queer and quaint

We got here, broke in the door with your landlord,

We have 15, we have 26, and double is...

We may have a lead. I think they got Scarface.

We move into your house, set up a round the clock surveillance

We must leave. We'll give back the telephone...

We really expect almost everyone to be seated when the motorcade arrives.

We were attacked, laughed at...

We'd have a file on him.

We'll get you out of here. How about that, huh?

We'll have a nice hot cup of tea.

We'll hear no more, ill omened owl To joy we soar, despite your scowl

We're investigating a black limousine...

We've checked everything on his file. All known associates,

We've got all day for an afternoon's delight.

We've had no report that the car was stolen.

Well,

Well, actually, the cab driver is with the police.

Well, actually, we prefer to be called little people.

Well, good night again.

Well, hello, there. I didn't think you were gonna make it.

Well, I have a little pad just around the corner.

Well, I just asked my girlfriend at the library

Well, I was thinking of leaving the job anyway.

Well, I went to medical school.

Well, maybe everything will turn out for the best.

Well, maybe it was embarrassed.

Well, my brother built it,

Well, my darling, Gloria, people just don't drop dead in cinemas,

Well, no.

Well, now, he didn't seem to be after sex.

Well, she won't be back.

Well, she's getting too uppity.

Well, thank you. And thank you so much for calling.

Well, the room checks out. Nobody up there.

Well, this is my bridesmaid's dress.

Well, what does that entail?

Well, what is this? What are you doing?

Well, whatever. He was playing a prank, that lad.

Well, whatever. Now, you're not to worry about anything.

Well, when I first met you

Well, when you've been an anthropologist as long as I have,

Well, yeah, but you met some pretty interesting people.

Well, you could start by saying hello.

Well, you did give me quite a shock.

Well, you're my favorite tenant.

Were equally affected

What about Gloria? Where is she?

What about that, then?

What are you doing here?

What are you talking about?

What did he give you in the car?

What do you say to two juicy steaks and a bottle of wine?

What do you say?

What do you want me to do?

What does that mean?

What else?

What else?

What else?

What happened after the divorce?

What have we overlooked?

What have you got to lose? I'll buy the popcorn.

What is it? What's the clue?

What is that?

What was that story, wasn't too long ago,

What would you have done?

What?

What?

What? Bring my umbrella?

What? But why me? They don't know me.

What? What?

What'd you say? Binoculars?

What's all that stuff about having her for lunch

What's happening?

What's so bad, anyway?

What's that?

What's the address?

Whatever happened to you, my darling?

When you go for it Well...

Where is it?

Where the mind is bound and the spirit is shackled,

Where was I? Yes, the Ibutu.

Where'd you meet this ding dong, anyway?

Where's your purse? Where?

While you were out to lunch, someone was inquiring for you.

Whitey Jackson will open fire from the organ bay.

Who takes two weeks of dinners before you even get to first base.

Who will release you from the worries of the world

Who?

Who's next to be decapited Cannot cut off another's head

Who's the albino?

Whose head was next On some pretext

Why are you undressed?

Why did he wanna kill you?

Why don't you just go home and sleep this whole thing off.

Why would anybody wanna kill me?

Why, I see them now and again at the library.

Why, who is this whose evil eyes Rain blight on our festivities

Why? What have I ever done to you?

With a final stop here in San Francisco, before flying on to Japan.

With laughing song and merry dance With laughing song...

With me if you want, but I just have a few things to do before...

With the U.N. delegates frequently breaking into spontaneous applause

Without them, you are a walking light bulb waiting to be screwed.

Won't you please come in?

Would you hold these for me till this evening?

Would you like me to carry you to your bedroom?

Would you like to take a shower?

Ye torrents roar, ye tempests howl Your wrath outpour with angry growl

Yeah, alias The Dwarf.

Yeah, he was working on a tip that a major assassination

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I never should have taken it.

Yeah, I'd like to see...

Yeah, I've seen him around. Works undercover, right?

Yeah, they're blue.

Yeah, we found him over there.

Yeah, well...

Yeah, when you first saw me.

Yeah. I was thinking of opening up a gas station in the desert

Yello.

Yes, and it seems to be in your mouth.

Yes, if Tony wants me to, I'll be there.

Yes, Your Excellency. Would you come this way, please?

Yes.

Yes. He came to us as a chauffeur about...

Yes. He was sitting right next to me. I gave him my popcorn. Where is it?

You be a good... Esme!

You been talking to Donahue?

You believe me, don't you, Mr. Hennesey?

You better. I need you. So, what's going on tonight?

You came to see me this morning.

You certainly are prepared.

You did?

You do your job very well.

You don't have to apologize.

You don't have to be here when they get here.

You gotta get some merchandise.

You gotta see how absurd this whole thing is.

You guys come with me. Come on.

You guys, come on!

You have attacked an innocent dwarf.

You have the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen.

You have?

You just scream

You know something?

You know where to get ahold of me. Right. Good night.

You know, a... A few laughs.

You know, it's funny. My father was a doctor.

You look very pretty.

You mean I...?

You play your cards right and she'll take you out for a sea gull dinner.

You said you killed the man with the scar.

You see the man in the overcoat?

You see this? It's called The Screamer.

You see this? It's called The Screamer.

You see, he's an ex convict.

You see, lieutenant, your relentless pursuit

You see, no one was ever kind to him.

You should always trust your first impressions.

You should have been a doctor.

You sure? You know what they say,

You tell Fred to start that projector and bring down those houselights!

You trust me, don't you?

You two stick with us. Come on.

You used to be a cheerleader. You used to show some cleavage.

You want me to go and call for a raid? Are you crazy?

You. What are you doing here?

You... You're the dwarf.

You're a really nice girl, and I'm a nice guy,

You're funny.

You're gonna love this. Hey, come on, I'm sorry. I was just kidding around.

You're lucky you've still got your badge.

You're not even supposed to be riding around with me.

You're not gonna like it.

You're probably right.

You're put on this world to do your thing.

You're safe here.

You're the only one who's seen him, he may wear a disguise.

You're working most of the time in the field.

You've gotta believe me!

Your date is the one who's supposed to be dead?

Your revels cease Assist me, all of you

430 Vallejo, second floor apartment. Please, come right away...

A rub in a whirlpool. No, no. Listen...

After all, he's such a... Really, Miss Casswell.

All right! We'll have it on in a minute. You've got to believe me.

And the archbishop too? That's not the archbishop.

And took away the dead body? Right.

And what's over here? Oh, God!

Anything from the FBI? No, nothing.

Anything on the body? Nothing.

Are you crazy?! Don't worry. Enjoy your dinner!

Are you crazy?! It's all right, everybody! It's OK!

But every now and then... Couldn't we walk just a little faster?

but I smashed him with my umbrella. Your umbrella?

But you're a cop. Same difference.

By yourself? Yes.

Bye. Bye.

Can we go out the back way? The back way.

Cigarette? No, thanks. I don't smoke.

Come here. Hey. Hi, little one.

Come on, Gloria. It'll be fun. Oh, I don't know.

Come on. I'm taking you home. I have to go to work today.

Did you catch that rascal, Turk? Who?

Didn't you get the address? No.

Do you mind if I finish my drink? Oh, no! Please. Do you have to?

Don't do that anymore, all right? Let's go, beautiful.

Far out! Great, yeah. Get in the front, Gloria.

Feel better, don't you? Yes.

Fifty two! Wait, Elsie.

Fine. Great beat.

Gloria. Gloria.

Gloria. Tony!

Good evening, Your Excellency. Good evening, Mrs. Russel.

Good night, Mrs. Monk. Oh, good night.

Got it. Tony, I'm not lying.

Handsome Harry... Are you the manager?

Have you any idea? No.

He wanted a cigarette, or...? No, he wanted the whole pack.

He was. Well, why is it...?

He's gone. What the hell is this?

Hello, how are you? You look so lovely.

Hey, what happened here? Yeah. Big accident over there.

Hi, little dog. Hey, Chaucer, what do you think?

Hold onto something. OK.

How about the C.I.I.? Nothing.

How's the milk? It's great.

Huh? No. No!

I believe you, really. Did you see my date? Did you...?

I could get used to this. Me too.

I don't know. That's Rupert Stiltskin,

I don't pick up strange men. Well, that's your problem.

I got this for my nieces. Oh...

I just wanna look out the window. Fine. Fine.

I just wanna make sure... No. No need for explanations.

I know He is the son of your...

I like him. How's he feel about you?

I mean, my date. He was right here. Who?

I think he likes me. Oh.

I'm OK. OK, come on. Let's get outta here.

I'm working on it. Come on. Gonna take a little swim.

It seems that... Look,

It's 7:15! We'll never make it! We'll make it.

Janet, hi! Hi, how are you?

Just a minute. We're having a special today.

Just like in the movie theater. What?

Just like that, huh? Yeah.

Killed? What? Where? In there!

Large order. They're breaking my ristorante!

Large, heavyset. Bald?

Lieutenant... Tony.

Look, Mr. Tibb... Stanley.

Mamma mia! Luigi! Are you all right?

Me too. You did?

Me? Yeah, you.

Mind if I smoke? No, go right ahead.

Miss Casswell? I'm sorry, Your Excellency.

Miss Mundy? Yes.

Mr. Tibbets, please! Oh, call me Stanley.

My place or...? Or yours? Which is closer?

My wrongs with vengeance... We do not heed their dismal sound

Never mind. You've gotta help me. Oh, please.

Nice fire. I just turned on the switch.

Nice to meet you. It's really nice to meet you.

No, I... I borrowed it for a party. Here, here, let me do that for you.

No. How about Whitey Jackson?

Nobody's hurt! It's an emergency! You crazy?! My Luigi...

Oh, my God, the police? Yes, tell them to get here right away.

Oh, my God. Sure you are.

Oh, thank you. Let me get you a drink.

Oh, yeah? What? I'll tell you at lunch.

OK, if it'll help. It will be a big help, believe me.

OK. OK, I get the message. Sure, you do.

on the gangplank. OK.

Please come back! It's amazing, just amazing.

Police! Police! Luigi! It's a very large order. Big order.

Quickly, come with me. Not in my theater.

Really? Yeah, I got it all.

Recognize the corpse? Scarface?

Right! Right! Kojak!

Right. That's the albino.

Right. Then what do they still want me for?

Right. Well, but they took

Sayonara. Sayonara.

Scotty? Who's Scotty?

Shall rise triumphant over all Shall rise triumphant

She's right, you know. What?

So do I. It's fun, isn't it? Yeah.

Sure, no problem. Follow that cowboy. He's with...

Take care of Fergie. You might need this.

Take me home. What?

Tastes like Tabasco. It's called Spanish fly.

Tell them to raid the place. A raid?

Thank you. Anything you want, doll face.

Thank you. Congratulations on your...

Thank you. You're welcome.

That makes 26. Twenty six.

That would be nice. Thank you. What would you like?

The albino? No, no!

The man with the scar? Yes!

The pope? At the opera tonight,

There's nothing around here, Tony. OK.

They wanna get into your pants. I don't think so.

They're good. Aren't they?

Tomorrow night. The biggest hit man west of Chicago

Very impressive. Jungle training.

Wait a minute! What?

Wanted me to be one too. What happened?

We've gotta get to the archbishop's. Esme.

Well, he did act rather strangely. Well, you see?

Well, you're the best. Good night. Oh, well. Good night.

What about before that? Before that?

What are we waiting around for? All in good time, Charlie.

What are you playing, old maid? I'm not playing anything.

What body? The dead body!

What do you think? Oh, my darling. My dear.

What do you think? Oh, my darling. My dear.

What was it? Three months ago? Yes.

What was wrong with your car? Radiator.

What weirdoes. Look,

What? Kojak? Bang, bang?

What? Let's see some skin.

What? Stiltskin was hired to kill the pope.

What's happened again? Just like last night.

What's his present address? He lived above the garage.

What's this on the wall? That is... nothing.

What's your name? Gloria.

Where are they? In my purse.

Where did you get the idea that...? It was just a bit of fun.

Where is he? In his office.

Where is it? What?

Where? In there!

Where'd you say it was? The Nuart on Union Street.

Who cares? Look, of course I paid the money,

Who is it? Special delivery.

Who? Man with the scar.

Who? Remember me?

Whose body was it? I don't know.

Yeah, he likes you. He told me all about Monica.

Yeah. Did you see my date?

Yes? Lieutenant Carlson, ma'am.

Yes. Hidden speakers. Quadraphonic.

Yes. Well, we found

You all right? I'm perfect.

You all right? Tony...

You break my restaurant! I'm a police officer.

You carried me? Yes.

You didn't have any date. No, he came in late.

You know, bang, bang, like Kojak? Kojak?

You look like you've seen the dead. I have.

You really took a chance up there. I know.

You recognize these people? That's the man with the scar.

You wanna have lunch today? Yeah.

You... You're a dwarf. True, true.

You'll live longer. Yeah.

... do...

... meet...

...and finally imprisoned.

...and I guess I did become kind of a hermit.

...and perpetuate an implacable authority.

...did you drop acid a little earlier tonight?

...do you believe in life after death?

...hiding behind the skirts of this sham called organized religion...

...I know you've been through something here tonight,

...I'm going to put a brand new lock on this door, right now.

...in Spain.

...of violence.

...they support the economic system.

...whose sole aim is to rob true spirituality of its life...

...why don't you do me and you a great big favor.

...world peace and universal brotherhood.