The Bad News Bears Edit

A busted bat and a long fly ball...

A damn good chance, so be on your toes. Now get the hell out of here.

A guy wanted to wallpaper his bathroom and bought 35 maps.

A little harder, huh?

A second game will begin at 3:00 this afternoon.

Actually, it might be better if you told them yourself.

After that, we're going to the drive in. It's a double feature.

After the start of the season, we all don't always get along so well.

After the taking of the team pictures today...

After tomorrow, we do what all ballplayers do...

After we beat these Athletics today.

Again?

Ah, that's the...

Ahmad, even Hank Aaron peels the old eyelids before he takes a swing.

All I know is, when we win a game, it's a team win.

All right, all right. I'm an asshole.

All right, boys. Let's get back to basics.

All right, boys. Let's go.

All right, come here. That's far enough.

All right, come on, guys. Lighten up.

All right, Eddie!

All right, Engelberry, hit it again.

All right, get one.

All right, guys, let's get one thing straight.

All right, let's get one.

All right, let's get one.

All right, Miguel. Way to go.

All right, you mother, see if you can kick my ass!

All right.

All right. Batter up. Come on, you're holding up the game.

All right. One to go, Billy.

All right. Play ball!

All season long, you've been laughed at, crapped on!

All we got is a cruddy "alky" for a manager.

Amanda Whurlizer.

Amanda, you know damn well your mother and I don't get along.

An intentional walk with the bases empty?

And a booger eating moron.

And a time out is called by the Bears'manager.

And another thing, just wait till next year.

And anyway, I promised him I wouldn't.

And aside from Timmy Lupus...

And besides, you shouldn't be wasting your time cleaning pools.

And bow.

And get some hamburgers or pizza or something.

And go vacuum the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?

And great players, and I'm not.

And had an E.R.A. Of 2.86.

And I think, Engelberg, it's gonna be your father.

And I'm lousy at baseball, and I'm quitting the whole damn thing.

And I'm sorry.

And in downtown L.A., they're expecting...

And let's get the run back.

And maybe join the team for old times' sake.

And now batting for the Bears...

And now batting for the Bears...

And shove it straight up your ass!

And shove it up your left nostril.

And so, at the top of the third inning...

And that means only one thing...

And the home of the brave

And the rest of you, what's the matter with you?

And the rockets'red glare

And then she appears to dry them on the peak of her cap...

And they were laughing at us, picking on us.

And to the republic for which it stands...

And we did hit 17 foul balls.

And we treated you pretty unfair all season.

And what do you do?

Andy Berger, number seven, center field.

Any ball you get near, go for it.

Any day now Durocher will call!

Any second now, Ogilvie, heart attack time.

Anybody else?

Anyway, it's too small.

Anyway, we took a vote and decided that we'd quit.

Are you crazy?

Around them bases we shall roam!

As it is now, we still have a chance.

Ask Ogilvie!

At least the ones that came could play, but now this.

At present there are at least two to three instances...

At the Coliseum...

At the twilight's last gleaming

Athletics... two runs, five hits...

Atta boy, Bobby!

Attack it!

Bad news for the Athletics!

Bad news for the White Sox!

Ball four! Take your base.

Ball four. Take your base.

Ball four. Take your base.

Ball one.

Ball one.

Ball, inside. 3 0.

Ball.

Ball.

Ball.

Ball.

Ball.

Baseball's not tomboy stuff. It's your country's national pastime.

Bases were loaded.

Batter can't hit!

Batter, swing!

Be a lot of fun if you were the other.

Bears! Bears!

Bears! Bears!

Bears! Bears!

Bears... three runs, four hits, three errors.

Beauty!

Because I didn't know whether to use them as bats or the baseline.

Because nobody here wants to have anything to do with you.

Because they been here longer than us?

Because you should be damn proud of yourselves.

Before I kick them all up there into position!

Besides, most people don't like the taste of anchovies.

Best pitch I ever taught her was the curveball.

Bet it's more than you make.

Big wow.

Billy, your arm feel okay?

Billy.

Blow it out your bunghole!

Bonehead plays, mistakes.

Boys, I'd like you to meet your new pitcher...

Break it up!

Bullshit.

But at least we settled it right here on the ball field.

But don't give me no baloney about a curve breaking 21/2 feet, though.

But girls reach their peak athletically about that age.

But I doubt it.

But she's not really drying them 'cause she has Vaseline under there.

But this quitting thing, it's a hard habit to break once you start.

But we disbanded the team.

But we need five runs.

But we're not going to be needing them anymore.

But we're stuck with each other.

But we've still got a chance.

But what about after tomorrow?

But what I've got sure don't feel too good right now.

But what it really is is $2.00 because of inflation.

But you did pitch for Phoenix in the minors.

But you got guts, all of you.

Buttermaker, do I have to go?

Buttermaker, maybe next spring you'll teach me how to hit.

Buttermaker, new rule book. See that you memorize it.

Buttermaker, this is your second place trophy.

Buttermaker, you better get on the ball.

Buttermaker, you better take Amanda out now. She's hurting pretty bad.

Buttermaker, you're so dumb.

Buttermaker?

Butterworth.

By request of the Bears'manager, and forfeited to the Yankees.

By the fourth pool, you were out cold.

Can we stop this already? We got another hour of practice.

Can't do anything about the braces 'cause that's big money.

Can't face them.

Carl Paranski, number six...

Carol, where is Frank? Is he still practicing?

Cheap crap? We're playing clean, hard baseball.

Check the big play!

Check?

Cleveland! Stretcher!

Coach.

Cokes and hot dogs on me.

Come off it, Ahmad! Stop pulling my leg.

Come on in, Joey!

Come on, Ahmad!

Come on, Amanda. Right through him!

Come on, babe. We were supposed to be here by 7:30.

Come on, baby! Take two of them!

Come on, batter!

Come on, batter. Let's go.

Come on, Billy!

Come on, Bobby! Come on in!

Come on, Buttermaker!

Come on, come on. You're holding up the game.

Come on, don't give me that righteous bullshit!

Come on, fellas! Talk it up!

Come on, guys! Pay attention!

Come on, guys. It's only a game.

Come on, Indians, line up.

Come on, Lupus! Catch it for once!

Come on, Red. Let's straighten your hat.

Come on!

Come on! Catch it!

Come on! You want to win, don't you?

Come on. Let's get a hit, Engelberg.

Come on. They're doing terrible.

Come to think of it, they ain't worth it.

Congratulations. Looks like the championship is in the bag.

Contract disputes.

Couldn't even manage a food store and he's managing a baseball team.

Couldn't you at least have unwrapped it?

Councilman Whitewood told the league committee he's calling it quits.

Crud, no. I want to play ball.

Crud!

Crud. Does that booger eatin' spaz make me want to puke.

Cry to the umpire.

Cups and supporters.

Cut it out!

Damn it, Regi! Attack that ball!

Damn it.

Damn right.

Did you ever think of that?

Did you see that, Ump?

Didn't I let you hang around while I cleaned the pools?

Didn't I take you and your mother to the movies twice a week?

Didn't those kids take enough of a beating opening day?

Diversionary tactic, Engelberg. Now get the ball.

Do we have to do that one? It's so corny.

Do you know how many pools I gotta clean to get imported jeans?

Do you think you gotta kiss ass around here...

Do you understand? Just keep your elbow in the water.

Does anybody mind if I warm up too?

Does anybody want to go for a ride?

Does that turn you on... Harley Davidson?

Don Jacobsen, second base.

Don't be such a stranger.

Don't blame me. I didn't even know it was your car.

Don't deserve to wear no uniform.

Don't ever say that word again.

Don't give me any of your honky bullshit.

Don't give me that "what." You know what I'm talking about.

Don't jump in, Engelberg. You'll flood the valley.

Don't know what he's talking about, but I like him. He's got balls.

Don't let any of these bastards give you a hard time.

Don't lie to me!

Don't look so glum.

Don't make it obvious. Go ahead.

Don't tell me what kind of language I can use.

Don't turn your back on me. Are you a friend of Roy Turner's?

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry. We'll catch them at the bottom of the sixth.

Don't you want to beat those bastards?

Each and every one of you...

Ease up, Joey. Taking easy control, baby.

Easy fly balls.

End of the first inning.

Engelberg is up after you. We need runs.

Engelberg, did you take my hamburger?

Engelberg, how about buttoning the buttons on your uniform, will you?

Engelberg, quit your bellyaching and throw the ball to first base!

Engelberry, get your gear on, get behind home plate.

Everybody be patient. Pizza's on very soon.

Everybody moves! Everybody!

Everybody on my team gets a chance to play.

Everybody out on the field and take any position you want.

Everybody stay alive.

Everybody, sit down. Come on. Sit down.

Fire it in there! Around the infield now!

First base! Second base!

First base! Second base! Third base! Home!

First in the Yankee lineup today...

First up for the Mets, Roy Close...

First up for the Yankees... number one, Chris Love, left field.

For how much?

For the game between the Bears and Yankees.

Forget about the glasses.

Forget it, Miguel.

Forty two errors?

Foul ball. That's outside the line.

Frankly, I'm surprised the little marshmallows did this well.

Gave proof through the night

Get a pair of glasses.

Get back here! Move it!

Get back to the dugout. It's time.

Get back to the stands before I shave off half your mustache...

Get back to your dugout. Maybe your team could use your help...

Get back, will you?

Get down from there. Forget about that.

Get going.

Get in there and never do that again.

Get it in there.

Get it off! You're marking it up!

Get off the field!

Get out of here.

Get out there now and do the best you can.

Get out! Go!

Get that bike off the field!

Get to know the wife and kids again.

Get your ass out there and do the best you can.

Get your gear, and get your fat ass to the plate before I kick it there.

Getting ready for a game with the Athletics.

Give him a six pack before the game?

Give me ten!

Give my love to your mom.

Glad you all came.

Go ahead and yell. Get it off your chests.

Go ahead, take it. Take two, take three.

Go home! All the way home!

Go home! Home!

Go on home.

Go on, take it. That's the best way to eat it.

Go, Ogilvie! On to first, boy!

Go!

Go!

Go! Go!

Go! Go!

Go! Go! All right!

Go! Go! Go!

Goddamn class action suits are gonna be the ruin of this country.

Goddamn it! Can't you get it through your thick head...

Going into the last half of the sixth and last inning...

Good bye, Buttermaker.

Good hit!

Good luck, huh?

Good move!

Good stuff. Beautiful. Toby, Jose, Timmy.

Good work, kid. Ahmad Abdul Raheem.

Got a big surprise for you after too.

Got my curve breaking 21/2 feet.

Gotta be worn at all times.

Grab a bat, punk.

Grab a cruddy bat.

Grab a helmet and get in the on deck circle.

Ground rule double.

Guys, I want to see some hard nosed play out there.

Half the state of Iowa came by last week. Cleared 85 bucks.

Harriet! Thirteen, second base.

Haven't you heard?

He almost whacked that right out of the ballpark...

He also played quite a few games on second base.

He always swings from the hip. Then comes Chris Love.

He beat him with a bunt.

He could have got those boys in any of the other leagues.

He could have killed that kid.

He damn near quit. Thank God for us he didn't.

He got hit in the balls.

He is. We aren't.

He means Ted Williams was a major leaguer.

He tried to bean him. He could have killed that kid.

He walked him.

He was nine years old. Broke his little heart.

He wouldn't have to cover for you all the time.

He's been hogging the ball in all these games and we're sick of it.

He's been in enough fights this week already.

He's been in enough fights this week already.

He's been murdering the ball lately. Do as I tell you.

He's going for two!

He's invaluable. He can play third and short at the same time.

He's just a rotten ball hog.

He's not dead! He's drunk!

He's not the only reason we got this far.

He's not throwing it! Go!

He's out.

He's safe.

He's shy, Coach.

He's the best athlete in the area. But you don't understand.

Hello, Roy.

Here we go. Let's go, Joey!

Here! Home!

Here's a list of the boys on the team.

Hey, Ahmad. You, me and Tanner will play three way.

Hey, Boilermaker, long time no see.

Hey, Buttermaker.

Hey, can't you hold off of that until after practice?

Hey, clutch!

Hey, hey! That's enough of that!

Hey, Joey, you hungry? You want my burrito?

Hey, left fielder!

Hey, punk! I thought l...

Hey, pus head! Are you crazy?

Hey, Tanner, does he go to the bathroom for you too?

Hey, Tanner! Come down, Tanner.

Hey, Turner!

Hey, wait a minute. Where are you guys going?

Hey, Whitewood. What's this crap about uniforms?

Hey, would you shut up? Right on my punch line.

Hey, Yankees! You can take your apology and your trophy...

Hey! Tanner!

Hi, Amanda.

Hi, Whitewood.

His first year in sandlot ball, he committed 42 errors.

Hold it up.

Hold it! Time!

Home, I said. Trust me. Home.

Home!

How are the uniforms coming along?

How come you're not wearing your clothes?

How could you possibly strike out Ted Williams?

How could you teach a 9 year old girl to throw a curveball?

How could you?

How many times you got to be told to quit hanging around here?

How was I supposed to know? You made such a big deal yelling out to them.

How would you like me to stick this bat where the sun never shines?

How?

How's it going, Ogilvie?

How's the view up there, Ahmad?

How's your chest feel, hon?

Hurry! Throw it home!

I am kind of fast, huh?

I am sorry!

I been trying all morning. It's too small.

I beg your pardon. There isn't an ounce of fat on me.

I can play baseball better than anybody in this league.

I can understand how you guys feel.

I can't be playing no dumb baseball.

I can't help it. I really hate that kid.

I could have taken all those guys myself.

I could help you with your pools.

I couldn't believe that score... 26 to nothing.

I deserve it.

I didn't have any pools to clean, so I thought I'd drop by and say hello.

I didn't need your help, you know.

I don't care if he had you beat by a mile!

I don't have a wife and kids.

I don't have to remind you who we'll be playing in the championship...

I don't know about you, but I want to win...

I don't know who you are, but sit down and shut up.

I don't think I like that kind of talk.

I don't think it's a very good idea, Amanda.

I don't wanna go. I wanna play.

I don't want to play for money.

I got a "D" in math that year.

I got a bead on it!

I got a goddamn little Jesus freak in Bakersfield at a revival meeting.

I got a Harley Davidson.

I got a photographer here from the L.A. Times.

I got it!

I got it! I got it!

I got one last question for you. Let's see who can answer it.

I got the whole thing figured out. This is what I do.

I got to talk to you.

I got to talk to you. It's important.

I had a mother of a screwball.

I had them leave off the anchovies...

I had to call my mom to come pick us up.

I haven't been much of a manager...

I invited my mom to the game tomorrow.

I just lit that cigar. That's terrible.

I just pray he's wearing his cup.

I just want to end it as quickly as possible.

I just want to get a word with the other coach, okay?

I knew you were up to something. I'm through with pitching.

I know an 11 year old girl who's on the pill.

I know he's small, Billy. Just pitch it lower.

I know I don't have too much up there...

I know it says $ 1.25 on the map...

I know they were easy.

I know we had our differences...

I know, but she told me she wants to play.

I know.

I like to drink too much. I like to smoke my cigars...

I liked her very much though. I still do, as a matter of fact.

I lost, so I gotta go to the Rolling Stones concert with the creep.

I mean it.

I mean just... just drop out.

I mean, they really do like you. And I'd appreciate it.

I mean, why don't you do this league a favor?

I mean, you wouldn't have helped the team much.

I play them right and left center.

I pledge allegiance to the flag...

I really appreciate this.

I take my two outfielders, Henry and Thor...

I think he's saying something about his being a Catholic and it's a sin.

I think I'd better get in a relief pitcher.

I think my dad said something about these two boys were Mexican.

I thought I told you to quit hanging around!

I thought we were going to be quiet about the money.

I thought we were going to see some curves.

I thought you just cleaned swimming pools.

I thought, you know, if you weren't too busy...

I told him to throw it low and outside.

I told you not to swing, you idiot!

I want to see how our infield handles balls.

I want to switch hit like my big brothers.

I want you handling the ball as much as possible out there today.

I want you to look like champions because you're gonna be champions.

I wanted to introduce you to the administrators, but you're late.

I was a heck of a ballplayer, but I never pitched for the Yankees.

I was hoping to sneak away from the office today and drop by the field.

I was just thinking us.

I was once in a high school game where the score...

I was really scared for a minute there.

I was thinking around the fourth game, you'd be switch hitting.

I will kill you!

I will not allow this!

I would have brought those turkeys down.

I would've gotten champagne, but you don't pay me enough.

I wouldn't eat your burrito if you paid me to.

I wouldn't have waited two goddamn years.

I'd like to call your attention to our new scoreboard...

I'll deck that kid!

I'll drink to that.

I'll handle it.

I'll knock your head down so far, you'll have to take off your hat!

I'll pay for the modeling thing and the ballet lessons.

I'll put Miguel in. At least he'll try.

I'll send flowers to your funeral.

I'll take on all the Yankees after this!

I'm a bum.

I'm almost 12, and I'll... I'll be getting a bra soon.

I'm an old, broken down, third rate ballplayer.

I'm aware of that.

I'm calling this off right now.

I'm coach of the new team, and I'm looking for Miss Cleveland.

I'm going to be a model.

I'm going to be taking ballet lessons pretty soon.

I'm going to get braces.

I'm going to go around the infield, then around the outfield.

I'm gonna beat the crud out of you!

I'm gonna kick your butt, you little shit!

I'm gonna kill you!

I'm happy that way.

I'm hitting.841. I'm on the Bears.

I'm just not the marrying kind. But I guess I handled it badly, huh?

I'm just sitting here.

I'm lousy at football, lousy at basketball...

I'm not afraid. I'm just through with all that tomboy stuff.

I'm not gonna talk about winning. I'm gonna talk about losing.

I'm not listening to you, crud. I'm leaving.

I'm not looking for money. I'm not looking for anything.

I'm probably the worst player in this league.

I'm sorry.

I'm surprised you didn't know that. He's your favorite player too.

I'm the one who did all the work. You sat and drank beer all day.

I'm the one who told Kelly to cover for you.

I'm Tower...

I'm warning you.

I'm working on it.

I've been out getting what you creeps have been bitching for...

I've got a lot of pools to clean. I can't be out looking for uniforms.

I've got business. You're blocking my customers with your car.

I've got to talk to you.

I've gotta talk to you for a minute.

If everybody gets a hit, we win the game.

If I did, I would have looked you up two years ago.

If I win, you play baseball for the Bears.

If it's yesterday you're worried about, you can blame me.

If only my knuckler had been working...

If she doesn't wear one, neither do I.

If she don't wear one, I don't wear one.

If that's the way you feel, fine. It's no big deal.

If you were so great, how come you never made it to the major leagues?

If you wiped your nose once in a while...

If you're gonna talk that way...

If you're looking for money, you can forget it.

In 1951, you won nine games...

Instead of trying to get in the play offs.

Iost six, had 170 strikeouts...

Is a bunch of ****, spics, ******s, pansies...

Is that the way to talk? I haven't seen you in two or three years.

Is to get a sponsor and to get uniforms.

It came to the plate and disappeared.

It hits your body, you still make the play.

It means a hell of a lot of badass news for the Athletics.

It was a dumb idea anyway.

It was like a ball of melted ice cream.

It was spring training, Vero Beach. Struck him out a couple of times.

It wasn't so bad when the courts made us take girls.

It wouldn't be like you're taking me anywhere. It would be like work.

It's a fine way to act toward me. I figure you owe me a thing or two.

It's a ground rule double. You can't score from first base.

It's a lot healthier than sitting here on a stupid street corner...

It's a shame that none of the fathers have the time for it.

It's a shame we're never going to find that out.

It's an error on the throw, but no error on the infielder...

It's common knowledge, for crying out loud!

It's dumb, parking it so close to the field anyway.

It's easy. You go to different businesses and talk to the guys.

It's highly competitive. Want to know something?

It's not my fault.

It's not us. It's the boys.

It's opening day.

It's the boys themselves that want it that way.

James Henry won't take curveballs.

Jesus, just who in the heck do you think you are?

****, spics, ******s, and now a girl?

Jill, I'm getting ready for the slide show.

Jill.

Jimmy Feldman for the Bears.

Jimmy Feldman, Toby Whitewood.

Jimmy, grab a bat.

Joey Turner, number two, pitcher.

Joey!

Jumpin' catfish.

Just behave yourselves and act like men.

Just cool it, runt.

Just get out of here and let me hit...

Just leave me alone.

Just move it back and forth. It'll come.

Just put it over. He ain't swingin'.

Just shut up and get up to the plate and try to hit the ball.

Just to sit around on a dugout bench, did you?

Just us, no outsiders.

Keep that finger out, Engelpuke, and I'll bust it off.

Keeping your family waiting, you know.

Kind of ruins my plans.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want to welcome you here...

Ladies and gentlemen, the end of the top of the fifth.

Last Sunday I made a killing.

Let me worry about the team's health.

Let that turkey loose, Buttermaker...

Let your team stay out there.

Let's get him on the team.

Let's get on, Rudi.

Let's get one out there.

Let's give the little folks a big hand.

Let's give them a cheer. Come on.

Let's go, Engelberg!

Let's go, Joey!

Let's go, Joey!

Let's go, Steve. Get it, Steve!

Let's go! Kelly. Kelly.

Let's go! Let's go!

Let's look alive out there. Let's look alive.

Let's not bring race into this, Ahmad.

Let's not have any shoving around.

Let's not talk anymore about it.

Let's play it by ear, see how things go tomorrow.

Listen to me. Once more with feeling.

Listen, is it really necessary to send in that Lupus kid now?

Listen, Lupus, you didn't come into this life...

Little boys hurt easily, or maybe you haven't been watching...

Look alive out there. Let's look alive.

Look alive.

Look alive. Let's get one. Are you ready?

Look at him. Had enough beer.

Look at that gut on you.

Look at yourself, Butterworth. Look at that team.

Look out! Get back!

Look, Amanda, you're a terrific kid.

Look, Buttermaker, the problem is your friend Whitewood.

Look, Mr. Buttermaker, quit bugging me about my food.

Look, woman, don't you be going and telling us how to play.

Look, you crud, just get back to your beer.

Lose control or something? Come on, Billy, don't walk this man.

Low and outside. You got it? Just pitch them low and outside.

Lupus, could you go somewhere else while I'm eating?

Lupus, you spaz! We would've won if it weren't for you!

Matter of fact, I thought you were safe.

Maybe I should try left handed.

Maybe if you guys played a little better...

Maybe if you're not doing anything, you can drop by the field...

Maybe we ought to...

Miguel Agilar, second base.

Miguel, and Jose, you take their place.

Mister Buttermaker...

Move! Charge the ball!

Mr. Buttermaker, I'm on your team.

Mr. Buttermaker, if I go in, we lose the game.

Mr. Buttermaker, they're taking the team pictures!

Mr. Buttermaker...

Mr. Harrison is here with his 2:30 appointment about the police bill.

Must have sustenance.

My boys would like to say something to your team. Boys.

My dad thinks I should try out for catcher.

My dad's a Yankee fan, and he never heard of no Buttermaker...

My father said for me to play infield.

My first baseman is lonely.

My husband's uptight about the infield, and he sometimes yells.

My mom says you almost ruined me with that sports stuff.

My son wouldn't come out of his room all weekend.

Named in memory of Tommy Martin, who played in our league.

Neither do I, but I got my pools to clean.

Never seen you like this, Ogilvie. Sure ain't like algebra, is it?

Next time I tell you to do something, goddamn it...

Next up, the Athletics and the Mets.

Nice going, Tanner. You looked beautiful.

Nice try. Maybe next time you'll get a chance to bat.

Nice work, Engelberg. Good game.

No excuses, Boilermaker. It's all fixed and I'm paying...

No, he's joking. Don't drink that.

No, Tanner, no! Everybody watch this.

No, you don't! It's over the fence!

No, you're not. You came this far. You're going the rest of the way.

No, you're not. You taught me how to pitch.

No. It just got away.

No. It was the bottom of the ninth.

No. Not just yet.

No. We're just going to get you checked out.

Nobody has to worry anymore 'cause I'm quitting.

Nobody's vote counts around here but mine!

Not only a curveball, but the most tantalizing knuckler...

Not only your boy, but all the boys.

Nothing. He ain't any good to us sober either.

Now batting for the Mets, David Delmardo.

Now batting, number seven...

Now batting, number three, Kelly Leak, center field.

Now batting, Tom McKay, number ten, third base.

Now cut that out! Move over.

Now get the hell out of here. Come on, get out of here!

Now put that back before you get me into real trouble.

Now you've got a chance to spit it back in their faces.

Now, everybody, once more with feeling.

Now, guys, somebody's gonna pay for this windshield.

Now, on Friday, we play the White Sox.

Number seven, left field.

Number three, Kelly Leak, at center field.

Number three, Kelly Leak.

O'er the land of the free

Of cardiac arrest or heart seizure at every major sports event...

Of course he's got a great arm.

Of course she does. But if you don't take her out...

Of course they do.

Of the United States of America...

Ogilvie will be sitting there, putting in his asthma medicine.

Ogilvie, Lupus...

Oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave

Oh, for Christ's sake.

Oh, God. You too?

Oh, yeah.

Oh. Helps, right?

Okay, Amanda, that's it.

Okay, Billy, bear down now.

Okay, Billy, two to go. She's got a sore arm!

Okay, boys, come on. Straighten up. Big grins.

Okay, go for the bunt.

Okay, let's do it again.

Okay, Mike.

Okay, Mr. Buttermaker.

Okay, Rudi, you're pitching. Amanda, get out in left field.

Okay, the next one's coming right between your eyes.

Okay. One out to go, and then to Pizza Hut.

On your back. Twenty sit ups.

One ball, two strikes, one out!

One nation, under God, indivisible...

One of the responsibilities of being a manager...

One out to go, babe.

One out.

One wild throw, you don't think we know what a ball is?

One, right field.

One, two, two, two, three, two, four, two...

One, two, two, two, three, two, four, two...

Opening day's tomorrow. We don't know what the batting order is.

Or I'll chew his ears off and stick them back in his face.

Or maybe to a matinee.

Or much of anything else, for that matter.

Out here with your children in the American spirit.

Out on the baseball field playing the great game of baseball.

Out!

Out!

Out!

Out.

Out.

Parents and friends are encouraged to stay...

People always bug me about it. My shrink says that's why I'm fat.

People wouldn't give you so much crud all the time.

Play a good game.

Play ball! Batter up!

Please don't try to blow it.

Pretty fancy neighborhood you're working these days, Amanda.

Probably haven't picked up a ball in two years anyway.

Probably lost on purpose. You probably like the little baboon.

Pull that in there.

Put 'em down in order... one, two, three.

Put it there. I like that.

Put that away. Hang in there.

Quick!

Ready to go back.