Lars and the Real Girl (2007) Edit

A visitor?

About superficial things like that, so it's OK.

Absolutely. And vice versa.

Absolutely. And vice versa.

After I drop off Bianca, I'm free.

All in harmony with his sadness, and some in praise of Dulcinea.

All right, where are they? I know you took them.

All right? They're worth a lot of money.

All right. So you think it's not the right color?

And because we're both young and single,

And Bianca loved us all...

And even though he had a broken heart.

And for Bianca?

And he moves into the goddamn garage like the family dog.

And he never came back.

And I don't know what you guys think but...

And I have to ask you a really... I know that it's a really big favor.

And I let him.

And I shouldn't have to check a schedule to see her!

And I think it's 'cause she's insecure,

And I'm sorry.

And Mom and Dad, and, you know...

And not what's right for you, what's right for everybody,

And on the fine sand a multitude of verses,

And she is not petite, Lars. Bianca is a big, big girl.

And she wants to know everything about me,

And so he solaced himself with pacing up and down the little meadow,

And so much to do?

And somebody stole her luggage.

And that helps.

And that was selfish.

And the change of climate and everything.

And the sooner you learn that, the better.

And then maybe all day Saturday?

And then the two of us move back here all fat and happy,

And then you come back in and they thaw out? It's like that.

And we all know what happened with that.

And we have a rope swing and a ladder.

And what about me?

And you don't cheat on your woman.

And you have my number at work, right, Karin?

And you take care of your family, you know.

And you.

And, Arnie, everybody knows your first wife was a klepto.

And, Lars?

Anyone else?

Anything you want, Lars?

Anyway, thanks for going bowling with me, Lars.

Are you comfortable? Yeah?

Are you gonna be late?

Are you OK?

Are you sure? 'Cause it's not growing back, right?

Are you the right cowboy to tame this wild filly?

At least when you're done, if you live through them,

Baby, where you been all my life?

Because all these people love you!

Because of you!

Because she was unsatisfied as a woman.

Because the Lord has told us what to do.

Because we can't, you know...

Besides, I don't need to steal anybody's boyfriend.

Best thing is, man, she doesn't even know how hot she is.

Bianca got elected so...

Bianca just said that that's why God made her, to help people.

Bianca wants to volunteer at the hospital on Thursday afternoons.

Bianca, Gus is gonna put on your seatbelt, OK?

Bianca, is that OK with you?

Bianca, this is my friend, Mrs. Gruner.

Bianca!

Bianca! I think she's unconscious. Hey.

Bianca?

Bianca.

Bianca.

Bianca's in town for a reason.

Bianca's like that, actually.

Bianca's very sick.

Big baby. He's just like my husband.

Blessed Trinity!

But everyone else.

But he loved us and he tried to do right even though he didn't know how,

But I ask her to marry me and she says no.

But I can help you.

But I'm not able to have children of my own.

But in all this world, there really is only one law.

But it will get better with time.

But it's such a comfort sometimes just to have somebody's arms around you.

But now she's on a sabbatical so she can experience the world.

But she wants to go home with Lars tonight.

But she...

But she's family practice. We're gonna need a shrink.

But she's just always trying to hug everybody.

But there'll never be anybody like her.

But what distressed him greatly

But, you know, what I could use is a more complete history on her,

But, you know, you didn't know him before that.

Can Baxter get you two something to drink from the kitchen?

Can you do that?

Catch up with everyone.

Chances are he's been decompensating for some time.

Come down to the family room, Lars. Let Bianca rest.

Come here.

Come on, Bianca, let's make a couple of calls.

Come on, it feels good.

Come on, wake up.

Come on, we haven't seen you for so long.

Congratulations.

Could I have a moment alone with her, please?

Could you put the headset on?

Could you stop yelling?

Dad was kind of like that, too, so...

Did you have a nice weekend?

Did you have fun?

Did you hear that?

Do you think I could bring my girlfriend?

Do you wanna take a walk?

Do you?

Do you?

Does Bianca want some?

Does she have a sister?

Doesn't it feel good?

Doesn't that sound great?

Doing things for others less fortunate. You should be proud of her.

Don't worry about it. Baxter? Baxter, baby.

Don't worry about it. It's all right.

Don't you feel a little better?

Don't you think?

Don't you wanna see this beautiful day?

Don't you want to be an uncle?

Especially him.

Especially Lars.

Even when it hurts.

Every person in this town bends over backwards

Everything's so new for her. Right?

Except that Karin is pregnant and Lars is nuts.

For work?

From her wheelchair, Bianca reached out and touched us all

Get back here!

Getting close.

Give this to somebody nice. For a start.

God bless. God bless.

God in three persons

God!

Good morning, Cindy. You look really pretty today.

Good night, Lars.

Good. I'll leave you guys.

Great.

Gus and I are both very lucky with women. She's wonderful.

Gus, will you give me a hand in the kitchen?

Gus! Calm down!

Gus?

Gus? No. OK.

Gus.

Guys and long hair.

Has he had any violent episodes?

Has Lars been functional? Does he go to work, wash, dress himself?

Have there been any changes in the family in the last year or so?

Hazel, your nephew gave all his money to a UFO club.

He could have given us to an orphanage or something.

He did so to remind us that this is no ordinary funeral.

He didn't have to take care of two kids alone.

He just wasn't very interesting.

He's gonna love that thing...

He's in love with that slutty hunk of silicone.

He's making the decisions.

He's not gonna get any better, is he?

He's not worshipping her, they're just dating.

He's sick, all right? He's sick.

He's the one who found her unconscious.

He's... He's concerned about Bianca's health.

Hell of a grip, too, pal.

Hello, Lars.

Hello.

Her name's Bianca.

Her schedule's on the refrigerator. Did you check?

Here we go. There.

Here.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, chief.

Hey, Gus?

Hey, hey, hey, she looks all right. She looks all right.

Hey, I was thinking, we're the only ones from the lake.

Hey, is she... flexible?

Hey, is that Lars?

Hey, Lars, why don't you come with us?

Hey, what are you doing on Friday night?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Come on in.

Hi, Lars.

Hi, Mrs. Gruner. Do you want some help?

Hi.

Hi. Hi, Bianca.

His whole life and it's all my fault.

Hold that thought.

Honey, come here. It's Lars.

How about afternoons, Monday and Wednesdays,

How about you?

How are we gonna pull ourselves together?

How are you?

How can we help?

How could you let this happen?

How did you know?

How do I know that?

How was that?

How would she feel if I just left her?

However she likes it, that's how I like it.

I am gonna be late.

I asked her to marry me last week.

I broke up with Erik.

I brought my work home so I have to... I'll get in trouble.

I can help you with your coats.

I couldn't wait any longer. I wanted to see how she was doing.

I did ask Dagmar and she said that I should ask you.

I didn't know there were sex dolls.

I don't believe he's psychotic or schizophrenic.

I don't care.

I don't know her very well.

I don't know, actually. Gus, what was it that Dad did?

I don't know, Gus.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know, maybe not.

I don't know. It's hard. It's hard because...

I don't like his tone.

I don't owe you anything, there, baby.

I don't think this is caused by genes or faulty wiring in the brain.

I don't wanna give you the wrong idea about this.

I don't want your little baby to get sick.

I don't, either. But you gotta be calm.

I don't...

I feel terrible that all this is happening so close with the baby coming.

I get lonely.

I guess, we were just hoping, if we came to you,

I guess... I'll see you at work tomorrow.

I have a card and you can borrow it if you want to.

I have a visitor.

I have my boots on but I brought my shoes.

I have this school board meeting.

I hear the telephone.

I hope that you feel better, Gus.

I just don't know how we're gonna do it.

I just ran.

I just wanted to say that I'm so glad you're finally here.

I just...

I know that she loves me,

I know, because nothing's easy.

I know.

I know.

I know.

I look forward to getting to know you, Bianca.

I mean, I left home as fast as I could.

I mean, not that you could have, but, I'm just saying.

I mean, so, he's crazy, right? I mean, he's crazy.

I mean, what's this gonna do to him?

I miss everybody, but there's so much to do in the house.

I need wine.

I never thought about him.

I saw a special on cable.

I shouldn't have left you alone with him. He was too sad.

I think I'm gonna stay.

I think it's kind of cold out.

I think we're gonna watch the water.

I think your maternal instincts might be kicking in.

I told you something was wrong and you wouldn't listen!

I want you to bring her in every week for special treatment.

I wanted to ask you a favor.

I wanted to tell you that you look really pretty today.

I wanted to thank you for...

I warned her.

I was hoping that winter was over.

I was hoping you would. I really wish you would.

I was just thinking that maybe we could all go out sometime.

I was talking to Bianca, and she was saying that in her culture,

I would kill to have hair like hers.

I would like to take the opportunity

I would never do that.

I'll be right back.

I'll get it.

I'll get the chair.

I'll go back just as soon as the baby's old enough and you're...

I'll have a beer.

I'll make an appointment with Dr. Berman for tomorrow.

I'll return them. One at a time.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I'm coming. Why are you yelling?

I'm glad you sent around that memo. I would have freaked.

I'm in the garage.

I'm inviting you for breakfast.

I'm just happy, that's all.

I'm never gonna cheat on Bianca, ever.

I'm not letting it happen, it's Lars. It's always been Lars.

I'm not really in the mood for porn this morning.

I'm not sure how well these treatments are working.

I'm not sure we're the same type, Lars.

I'm really good at it.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry but I just don't get it. I don't.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I'm sorry, it's just so dangerous.

I'm sorry, you'll have to wait out here.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm tired.

I'm worried about her.

If I don't see every damn one back on my desk pretty soon,

If I just abandoned her like that.

If I may...

If you could just try to understand, it's...

In the summer, they'd go fishing.

In ways we could have never imagined.

IRS, ATF, AAA.

Is everything all right? I mean, I usually put Bianca to bed.

Is it?

Is that for me, Bianca?

Is there something that I should be doing right now?

Is this OK? You OK? OK?

Isn't that neat?

It can be a communication, it can be a way to work something out.

It does not feel good, it hurts.

It does.

It doesn't work without the resting.

It just doesn't feel right for us to stay in the garage alone together.

It looks like a storm to me.

It makes me mad, but Bianca's from the tropics.

It scared me and I just...

It sounds like it's easy and for some reason it's not.

It sounds... Yeah, that sounds nice.

It would do everybody good.

It's a beautiful blanket.

It's a good question.

It's almost exactly like that.

It's false perception versus false belief.

It's fine, yeah, I mean, it's up to you and...

It's funny.

It's great. It's great. See you in a little bit.

It's highly unlikely. It's...

It's just 'cause a man doesn't cheat on his woman, that's that.

It's just been one of those days.

It's just that she's asking me all these questions all the time

It's just...

It's like the old man.

It's my turn to drop them off at the hospital.

It's not just the bear.

It's not porn.

It's not that funny. It's not that funny.

It's OK.

It's OK.

It's OK.

It's pregnant women's yoga.

It's really the same with the guys at work, it's...

It's so cold out.

It's so dangerous. I don't like to think about it.

It's the hospital volunteer banquet at the VFW.

It's true, I think, in a way.

It's true. We've been all wrapped up in ourselves. We have, Gus.

It's way in advance, but you know how excited I get about these things.

It's your turn to get coffee.

It's... rare.

Just a little bit of layering here and some texture, kind of right there.

Just all kinds of things, you know, that when you do them,

Just chillax, you know.

Just one second.

Just put your head between your knees. Bend over. Bend over.

Just putting it out there.

Just, you know, one second.

Karin and I would really like it if you moved in.

Karin, I can't believe this.

Karin, I'm telling you, he belongs in a hospital.

Karin, my brother is 27 years old. Maybe he wants to be left alone.

Karin, you don't mind lending Bianca some clothes, do you?

Karin!

Karin. Karin! She's not gonna eat!

Karin...

Keep me company.

Know what I'm saying?

Lars asked us not to wear black today.

Lars is a good boy.

Lars would never let her cut it.

Lars, have you met Erik?

Lars, I think right now would...

Lars, I think we should go to bed, you know?

Lars, I'm missing three of my action figures.

Lars, isn't that hard to get away with?

Lars, just take a breath.

Lars, keep me company.

Lars, Lars, you gotta see this.

Lars, sit down. Put your head between your knees.

Lars, there's salmon and cherry pie in there.

Lars, this is my husband.

Lars, we do care.

Lars!

Lars?

Lars?

Lars?

Like a burn. Like when you go outside and your feet freeze

Like a cut or a bruise or...

Like we do.

Like yours.

Like, if she'd weigh 125 pounds, then she weighs 125 pounds.

Like...

Look at him.

Look how much they cost. I'm wiped out from the new Xbox.

Look, they have cell phones. We should get cell phones?

Look, we can't change Karin.

Love is God in action.

Love one another.

Man, that is...

Man, they're solid.

Margo!

Margo's here, everybody. Hurray.

Me, too.

Merciful and mighty!

Midwest Living or Country Home?

Mine's probably low, too.

Morning.

Mr. Sunshine!

My job's at the school department.

My little brother is totally, totally insane!

My office.

Natasha escaped from Moscow

Never mind.

Nice shot.

No self respecting woman's gonna be at your beck and call, mister,

No way, Nelson. They'll shred me.

No way!

No wonder he goes and orders a fiancée in a box.

No, dear. You eat.

No, I couldn't tell you.

No, I didn't. I guess I forgot.

No, I don't. It's a tricky illness, Lars.

No, I mean, pretend that she's real? I'm not gonna do that. I mean, I can't.

No, I'm glad that they... I'm glad they left.

No, it's good. It's good, good stuff.

No, it's just a thaw.

No, it's just...

No, it's my turn.

No, it's not. It's...

No, it's OK. It's just...

No, no, don't run.

No, not really, here, 'cause I have all these layers.

No, she doesn't.

No, she is, she's a psychologist, too.

No, she's not. She's not. Come on, she's not sick.

No, the cheese inspectors beat the crap out of us.

No, you didn't.

No, you don't.

No, you don't. No, you don't. I don't talk to you like that.

No! My Uncle Garth went to one of those places

No?

No. Come on! Wait! Wait! Lars, stop! Stop!

No. Probably not.

No. She can sleep here.

No. Well, it's kind of sex but it's not... It's not, you know...

None of this is easy for any of us, but we do it.

Nothing?

Now you listen to me. Bianca has a life of her own.

Oh, can you put that on her legs, 'cause she gets cold.

Oh, come on.

Oh, hey, Lars. Bianca? Total babe.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I'd cut it, like, to here. Long in front, short in back.

Oh, my God, I hope you didn't think that. Lars, I would never do that.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! He's... Karin!

Oh, my. No, no, no. No.

Oh, no, I have to go. OK.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. No, never. He's a sweetheart. He never even raises his voice.

Oh, no. We'll put her in the pink room.

Oh, she's wonderful.

Oh, thank you, dear.

Oh, that.

Oh, that's... No, that's OK. Thank you.

Oh, there he goes.

Oh, wait. Here are some leftovers for you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And everyone's gonna laugh at him.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh. No.

Oh... Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm totally bringing somebody.

OK, good. Yeah, yeah, I...

OK, I'm telling him.

OK, it is, but check it out, all right?

OK, Karin's been worried about you.

OK, listen up, Margo.

OK, so when Moose thinks the FBI's after him...

OK, this is the tree house,

OK, watch your head on the way in.

OK, you know, I can only give you my opinion.

OK, you know, yeah, sure, maybe after Mom died.

OK?

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK. Hello? Hello?

OK. Like what?

OK. OK.

OK. OK.

OK. OK. All right, then, we'll do it. Whatever it takes.

OK. Was it sex?

OK. We gotta fix him. Can you fix him?

One day I'll find a man of my own and...

Or she doesn't say anything.

Or she says, I don't know.

Our dad.

Pain?

People do whatever they want.

Put your head between your knees. Sit down.

Readers Digest

Right there is where my dad used to work.

Right, right. I get that. But I'm just not gonna...

Right, right. I get that. But I'm just not gonna...

Right.

Ring, ring!

Sally, your cousin puts dresses on his cats.

Same with everybody?

See you.

See, I told you.

She asked me not to be sad, but I can't help it.

She doesn't drink.

She doesn't have any.

She doesn't have nurse's training, Lars, because she's not a person.

She doesn't know, it's a secret. But I can tell you.

She doesn't like it when I drink, either, but I'm just gonna have one.

She doesn't mind. I promise.

She doesn't speak much English, though.

She has a darling figure.

She just wants to be normal, have everyone treat her normal.

She looks all right. Hey, hey, hey, hey!

She loves kids.

She says you have to be, this far north.

She thinks you've got a problem because you spend so much time by yourself.

She was a lesson in courage.

She was a teacher.

She wasn't.

She won't wake up.

She... Well, she's Brazilian.

She'll be home at 11:00.

She's a big plastic thing.

She's a golden calf.

She's dying.

She's feeling pretty lousy today.

She's just doing some kind of a...

She's my girlfriend

She's not, Lars.

She's out in the community,

She's shy.

Shut up.

Snow.

So are you serious? Bianca really has a...

So don't you dare tell me how we don't care.

So far.

So I just don't want her to feel weird about it.

So I thought that I would take her to the lake where we used to play.

So if you just say their names a lot...

So she's really just one of the girls, then.

So tell me about Karin.

So then what the hell is going on, then?

So what's the difference between a delusion and a hallucination?

So you don't let people touch you?

So, I hear you guys are getting married.

So, if you need anything, Gus and Karin are right across the hall.

So, you're never gonna believe this.

Something's going on with him. I'm worried.

Sometimes I get so lonely I forget what day it is and how to spell my name.

Sorry, we're full up. Next week is the ladies' league tournament.

Stop it! You have no right to talk to me like that.

Sure.

Take a breath.

Take it off.

Tammy dropped out of high school to join the rodeo.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Oh, Mr. Sunshine.

Thanks again.

Thanks, Gus.

Thanks, Mrs. Gruner.

Thanks.

Thanks.

That everyone's favorite word is their own name,

That is just not true!

That is...

That new girl's kind of cute?

That would be great, Lars.

That you know that you're an adult.

That, my friends, is the one true law.

That'd be great.

That's a nice sweater.

That's a shame.

That's all I want.

That's amazing.

That's fine.

That's great!

That's great.

That's how life is, Lars. Everything at once.

That's my kind of guy.

That's nice.

That's not true.

That's OK, I can take that.

That's OK.

That's OK. Is Karin gonna come to the door?

That's terrible.

That's the library.

That's true.

That's what everyone keeps saying, so...

That's what people do when tragedy strikes.

That's what we have to find out.

That's what you want in a woman.

That's... 'cause...

The doctor will tell us what to do.

The fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all now and forever more.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God,

The question is, as always...

Then we can call each other whenever we want.

Then why is she buried in a pair of my earrings?

Then why was he your boyfriend?

Then you can tell your teddy bear to watch his back.

There we go.

These are for you, Bianca.

These young people have no willpower.

They come over and sit.

They didn't want to leave you two.

They gave her something so she's asleep.

They got all these different heads and parts.

They have these rites of passages and rituals and ceremonies.

They just delivered a huge box for you. It's in the garage.

They'd build all kinds of cool forts, and, like, they'd build snow forts...

They're here. Call Dr. Berman.

They're not real, so they last forever. Isn't that neat?

Things are better.

Things look so much better.

This is exactly what I needed.

This is not my fault, though. It's not my fault.

Those action figures are extremely important to me.

Those are nice?

To make Bianca feel at home.

To welcome all of our new visitors to our church today.

Wait for you? Would you do that for her? Would she even ask you to?

Wait, she didn't abandon you, she'll be back.

Wait! Stop! Stop!

Wait.

Wait. Gus had a good idea.

Wake up! Wake up!

Was it...

Was not having another hermit there to confess him.

Watch your head.

Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch. There we go.

Water and power.

We are here to celebrate Bianca's extraordinary life.

We brought casseroles.

We came over to sit.

We can't worry about that.

We do it for you!

We don't have to talk. Let's find you something to read.

We don't want anything to do with her.

We drive her home.

We get her up, we put her to bed. We carry her.

We need never ask, Lord, what should I do?

We push her wheelchair. We drive her to work.

We sent Gus and Karin to the movies.

We wanna stay together in the pink room tonight.

We wash her. We dress her.

We were supposed to play Scrabble.

We'll be happy, too.

We're gonna have to put him in a hospital, I think.

We're gonna have to put him in a hospital. I can't afford that.

We're gonna keep her here till she's stable,

We're just gonna get through this somehow, OK?

We're upstairs.

Welcome, come on in.

Well, after church, then.

Well, after the treatment, she has to rest.

Well, Bianca could help you, you know. She has nurse's training.

Well, don't leave it too long. It's not good for you.

Well, half Brazilian, half Danish, that's right.

Well, he's not bringing her to church, now, is he, Reverend Bock?

Well, her blood pressure's low.

Well, I don't know. Does it match the curtains?

Well, I don't know. Why do you always expect me to know what to do?

Well, I had to try, you know?

Well, I need to stretch my legs. Let's take a chance.

Well, I suppose we should...

Well, if that's what she says, then we should.

Well, it makes me angry.

Well, it's not like you're all one thing or the other, OK?

Well, it's scientifically proven

Well, it's stress, you know.

Well, maybe.

Well, not really with Bianca.

Well, not till he's sitting at the table,

Well, she must have loved you very much.

Well, she's just really religious

Well, that's not fair.

Well, that's OK, Karin, because Bianca doesn't really care

Well, this used to be my mom's room.

Well, was a missionary. Right. Sorry. Because she was raised by nuns.

Well, we wanted to talk to you about that.

Well, we won't be far.

Well, yeah. Well, you know, she's in a wheelchair.

Well, you are.

Well, you keep saying that. I think your...

Well, you kept swiping my action figures.

Well...

What about your blood pressure?

What are we doing? Why are we doing this for him?

What are we gonna do?

What do you think?

What do you... What do you... What do you know? Where...

What the hell is he doing with a delusion, for Christ's sake?

What we call mental illness isn't always just an illness.

What would Jesus do?

What?

What?

What?

What? I think so. Here, hey, just be careful.

What? We talked. He's fine.

What? What? What?

What's going on?

What's that Sound? By Veronika Charles.

What's up?

When I was a child, I spake as a child,

When she was a baby, her mom died in the middle of things, so...

When she was being born.

When she was pregnant.

When you're doing all your things and I'm working.

When's the happy day?

Where are you going?

Where she was forced to strip for the Russian mob.

Why do you think she has so many places to go

Why don't you put this on, please, I...

Why not? Come on, Lars, we miss you.

Why?