Black Sheep (1996) Edit

A lot of good our grass roots campaign did up there.

A party with you!

A very small jar.

A zeppelin landed on his head, smashing his head clean out of his ass.

Aaaarrggh!

Aaagh!

Aaargh!

Aargh!

Aargh!

Actually, there is a perfectly good explanation for this.

After the events of last night a slight shift in voter sentiment was expected,

Agh!

Agh!

Agh!

Agh! Help!

Agh! I'm stuck in this thing.

Al didn't lose. He got cheated. And we got proof right here.

Al doesn't wanna speak to you.

Al Donnelly's a guy with a dream. His dream is to be governor of Washington.

Al, I know how this must look, but I had nothing to do with that fire.

Al, I'm so sorry. Man, I don't know what happened.

Al, man, I know what I'm doin'. I'm gonna prove you won the election.

Al, please!

Al, we are lucky to be here.

Al, you can take this election.

Al! Al! No! No!

Al's speaking at that Rock The Vote concert in Seattle.

All right, I want a 32 belly option on two, on two. Ready? Break!

All right, Mike. I'll back you up. What do you want me to do?

All right, you guys. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

All right!

All right! Bunk beds!

All right.

All right. Here's what we do.

All right. We'll both look together.

And give them your power trip? They might be impressed by it, asshole!

And his Grandpappy Winston.

And I am proud to be an honorary Clark County lumberjack.

And I am very proud of him.

And I believe that Mike's problems are rather modest

And I don't know if you read in USA Today last week, but the war is over.

And I'll be damned if I'll let that go to waste.

And if I could get that, I will gladly leave your... coordinates here.

And if I had my way, you wouldn't speak to him after he's elected governor!

And if you get pulled over, I'll say the car was stolen so I can keep my job.

And my two beautiful, intelligent children...

And normally when I stop people they pull onto the shoulder.

And now I'm gonna screw her!

And now let's welcome our hometown hero,

And Ronald Reagan's entire family rolled into one."

And spike it onto the floors of a nightmare you can't even imagine!

And then they just...

And we're gonna get there. It's just gonna take some finesse.

And we're outta here.

And you guys are the victims of a tyrannical, racist, oppressive society?

Are you kidding me? These are potential voters.

Are you or are you not the Black Angel of Death?

Are you sure you don't want a job on my staff?

Argh!

Argh! Argh!

Argh! Help!

Arm grab! Aie!

Attention, Buckley residents. Voters of all ages, vote for Al Donnelly.

Base, this is Mieghem. I'm at the rec centre. Send fire units and a backup.

Because I'm the only person on earth who knows where to find white mud.

Besides, it gives you the munchies. God knows, I don't need that. Hey!

Bet you made some nice friends today, huh?

Between me and your loser brother?

Boy, I feel like a horse's patoot.

Burn, baby, burn!

But down here we are protective of the other drivers on the roads.

But I wanna see some movement!

But it turns out he was giving these kids a speech about saying no to drugs.

But no one anticipated this.

But yesterday these men managed to cast their vote for Evelyn Tracy.

But your brother is creating his own media feeding frenzy all negative.

But, no, we get "Kill Whitey"?!

Butchered 400 chickens and screwed a beagle.

Can we please try my idea?

Charlie.

Check this kid out. He's got an arm like you used to have. Hey, Scott.

Check this out. Gimme a toss, Scott. Hey, buddy.

Come on, guys. This is weird. Let's go play some kickball.

Come on, let me talk to Al. It's only gonna take a minute.

Come on! Jesus!

Come on! Oh!

Commit career suicide.

Cos this is a bunch of bullcrap!

Could you tell him I'm sorry and I'll make it up to him?

Damn it! The nitrous oxide's leaking into the car! Oh, man!

Damn it.

Damn it. I gotta ditch this guy.

De de de, do do do! (laughs)

Did you get the latest polls?

Dock Workers' Union.

Dodds, listen to me very carefully.

Dogs, I want you to go home.

Don't agree with me. It just pisses me off more.

Don't forget.

Don't let anyone ever tell you your job is easy.

Donnelly had a smart ass comment to make after everything I said.

Donnelly's brother took a campaign van on a rampage. He can't get a break!

Drake, you ever watch any Bruce Lee movies?

Dream on, you little fart.

Dude, can I get a couple of minutes just to clear some of the gear out?

Dude, I can't even find the glove compartment in this thing.

Dude, we pay these bands' salaries by buying a ticket to this shit.

Early today this photo was released, linking Mike Donnelly to the scene

Eegh!

Eegh! Oh!

Eegh.

Ever!

Every vote counts.

Everybody back up, or I blow the pipsqueak's head off.

Fine then. Here's to the winners. Yeah!

Fire!

Floor it, Harold!

Folks, I'm having a little trouble here.

Folks, if you're wondering who to vote for, Al Donnelly's the man for the job.

For God's sakes!

For God's sakes.

For his brother Al Donnelly's drive to the governor's mansion.

Forget those guys.

Garfield County. Tracy: 1,048. Donnelly: 834.

Get in the back!

Get it right, moron.

Get off my bumper!

Get off of me.

Get out of here!

Get over here. I'll kill him! I'll kill him!

Get this thing off me! What the hell are you...

Get this: a cornfed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish woman,

Get you organised for the final push, for the election.

Gimme a minute. Gimme a minute. I'll be fine.

Give me the phone. Steve, it's Al. What is going on?

God!

God!

God! Come on!

God! Help, please!

Good God!

Good night, dear.

Good night, Mike.

Good night, Mike.

Good night, Steve.

Good night, Steve.

Good. Act on them.

Goodbye!

Governor Donnelly? Nice threads.

Governor Tracy is about to claim victory...

Governor Tracy, having just pulled out a squeaker, must be all smiles today.

Governor Tracy, this is Mr...

Ha, I know. I just wanted to tell him I'm working my tail off for him up here,

Half these people are buried in the Garfield cemetery. That's one county.

He can't afford to be associated with any kind of a scandal,

He deserves to be hoisted up on our shoulders.

He let him go and didn't report seeing him, so Mike wasn't linked to the fire.

He must be all hopped up on crack cocaine.

He or she most certainly would.

He said he stood up for me, but word came from the top for me to get out.

He said the rec centre's state funded.

He was comin', just going "My life is good. I'm alive, alive, alive... dead!"

He'll fly in the fridge, I close the door, end of story.

He's the best man for the job. You can count on Al, that's for sure.

Hell, every guy's got his dream, am I right? I had a doozie myself last night!

Hello, Washington!

Hello? Are you there?

Hello. This is Mrs Oneacre. Are you there?

Help!

Help! Help, please!

Here you go, ma'am. OK. OK. I'm sorry.

Here you go, ma'am. That is my fault entirely. I'm sorry.

Here you go. I'm sorry.

Here, I got something for you. It's a souvenir.

Hey, fellas. How's it goin'? Can I help you?

Hey, fellas. Yeah.

Hey, I got somebody you gotta meet. Scott, come here a second.

Hey, I hope everything's going great in your fine town of, uh, Avery... Atwood.

Hey, I'm sorry, man. Take your time.

Hey, it's cool. I was in.

Hey, Mike. "I got dibs on top bunk"!

Hey, Mike. How's things? Kind of pissed off about losing your job, huh?

Hey, pretty good day. No screwups. Keep up the good work.

Hey, Roger? How you doin'? It's Mike Donnelly. Is Al there?

Hey!

Hey. I'm Steve Dodds, one of your brother's advisors.

Hey. Mr Governor, can I please have your autograph?

Hi, there. Hi.

Hi.

Hi. This is Mike Donnelly. I work over here at the recreational centre.

Honey, please don't. Could you get your daddy on the phone?

How could you have such horrible instincts and survive this long?

How the hell did that happen?

How, by hooking a hanger up to the metal plate in your head?

Hut one. Hut two.

I beg you, don't do this. Give me some time. I can make you a senator.

I believe you. You were set up. And we're gonna get to the bottom of this.

I bet the exit polls already have us by ten points.

I can get her up to as good as 155.

I can go to your mama's and start a small fire in her panties.

I can't believe I have to ask you this, but are you trying to screw this up for me?

I can't! I can't!

I can't... God!

I could get time off from the rec centre. They said I could, to help you campaign.

I could sure use some cupcakes or peanut butter cups about now!

I didn't say "mud". I said "crud". D'you fall into some crud or something?

I don't believe this.

I don't believe this. Driver, head back to the capital.

I don't know how you do things in Buckley,

I don't know.

I don't see you goin' in.

I don't think these kids wanna hear me talk about bond issues, man.

I got an idea. OK?

I got every one of 'em on laser disc. Well, come in. Come in.

I hardly ever play checkers.

I have to go home now, little doggies. Nothing for you in this truck. No food.

I have to live with my grandma now.

I just chunked in my pants.

I knew it! Looky here. Any of these names look familiar?

I know a place with a TV. I saw it when we were putting up posters.

I love this job. I've been here since the place opened.

I love you guys.

I loved that place. It was my life. You gotta believe me!

I mean, I have evidence here you need to know about now before it's too late.

I must also thank my wonderful husband Dennis

I ought to go down there and straighten this thing out.

I promise.

I realise you must stick close together cos you share a common backbone,

I spoke to Anderson at the theatre. He wants me to lock you up.

I think it's better if we bring the energy down a tad.

I think you just drive the speed limit, we're gonna be cool.

I told you I would take care of everything.

I wanna show you something.

I want to see a Washington where children can walk down streets safely,

I want you on the field every day working on your game. How's that?

I want you to step lively. Do not make me abuse my power.

I will dance with you inside of the six sided ring of fire,

I'd like to tell you about some other great American soldiers.

I'll do anything. Just name it and I'll get started.

I'm all right. I'm OK.

I'm gonna go take a squeege.

I'm gonna talk to some people and straighten this out,

I'm just trying to get a little leverage on my foot.

I'm not a brother. I'm an embarrassment.

I'm not gonna miss a 9mm to my head, but... What were you thinking?

I'm not supposed to be here. Uh...

I'm not that far from dragging you out of the car and beating you into dust.

I'm seriously impressed.

I'm stoned.

I'm stuck. I'm stuck.

I'm surprised we can't count on a guy whose bus is surrounded by mines.

I'm the Man, "Whitey",

I'm the only one down here.

I've got proof this time. Real proof.

I've got somethin' to say!

I've taken enough guff from you for one day. Raving psycho.

If he'd bought a smaller TV, he could've afforded a couch with less urine on it.

If I got the same welcome everywhere I went that I got here in my home town,

If re elected to a third term, I'll do my best as your governor

If we don't do something soon, he'll be living here.

If you love me like a brother, you gotta back me up on this.

If you really wanna understand Mr Donnelly's view on family values,

In fact, I agreed with that statement

Is involved in a police pursuit.

Is this, uh, Pat Giles?

It bit me! I'm gonna get rabies!

It doesn't matter. I can't wait to see the look on his face when he goes down.

It's all my fault.

It's all up to the voter turnout, which our people think will be very high.

It's crazy, man. I don't know what to say.

It's got all those robes on it.

It's not far from here. Let's go.

It's OK. It's OK, ma'am.

It's outta there.

It's over. It's finished.

It's showmanship. You gotta go out and get 'em.

It's that same asshole. Whoo!

Jesus. Did it ever occur to you family may be more important than career?

Just as long as he or she is reliable and helps Mike make a contribution.

Just let me explain what happened.

Just stay outta the way.

Just take it down. Take it down.

Kemp, fake head butt. DeSalvo, fake head butt. New kid, fake head butt.

Kill Whitey!

King me!

Kovary. Man, that guy's a dick.

L, uh...

L, uh...

Ladies and gentlemen, this young man is a fine patriot.

Let me make myself clear. My brother is a priority.

Let's do a little dance.

Let's do it!

Let's move this out of the land of mere embarrassment into the realm...

Like you're gonna be if you don't put that gun down.

Listen very carefully to me, Mike.

Listen, I got a lot of good people in my corner. They want what we want.

Look, I know this looks bad. Al, man, I'm not a screwup on this one.

Man, I wish we could watch your brother's debate on TV.

Man, that was weird. That bug was comin' at me, we connected eyes.

Man, we're screwed.

Man, why don't you goose step on down to the women and children there

Man. My bro is knockin' the snot outta her.

Mike Donnelly is driving down Capitol Boulevard in a stolen police car.

Mike, don't worry. Everything is gonna be OK, I promise.

Mike, forget it. Did you think it was a drive in movie?

Mike, I know you're behind me 100%, but I need some different help from you.

Mike, put the gun down. There's other ways to handle this.

Mike?

Moron! OK, it's flying in now. It's flying in now. It's flying right in the middle.

Mr Thunder maker here is gonna start barkin' fire if you don't stop moving

Mrs Oneacre, it's Mike Donnelly. Is Scott there?

My brother lost his election because of me.

My candidacy would be a lock!

My foot's caught a little bit. I'm sorry. I beg your pardon.

My God, this guy is like Leatherface, Chucky and Jan Brady rolled into one.

My grandmother riding by on a bicycle giving me the finger, and a duck.

My re election would not have been possible without the people in this state

My sarge gave me no overtime, so I'm doing it lickety split.

Nelson Sabitch was killed near the 38th Parallel in Korea.

Neuschwander, you finished stirring, or is this a fucking science experiment?!

Never do though, of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari!

Never mind. Forget it.

Never move your back row!

Next time I'll be, like, "You wanna spray me? How about this?"

Nice moves.

Nice to meet you. I wanna show you something.

Nice to, um, see you.

Nice toss, Scott. Oh, man, the kid's got a cannon.

No, he was pretty cool, as usual.

No, it's not cool.

No, man! Al, there's no other way! You gotta believe me.

No, no, no, no!

No, sir. You know what? That was my fault and I'm really sorry.

No! No! No!

No.

Nobody looks at a caterer's face. It's always "Whaddaya got in the tray?"

Nobody move, or Steve Dodds gets it!

Norris Sabitch met his maker in Iwo Jima, 1944.

Not sure, but he says he thinks you'll like it.

Nothing's gonna stop us now.

Now it's gonna be payback time. Where can I find her?

Now, are you ready to get out of the car?

Now, I don't know... Are you crying?

Now, I want you to do exactly as I tell you.

Now, we've all been screwed by Governor Tracy.

Now!

Officer...

Oh, and one more thing.

Oh, come on. Label your streets like the rest of the country.

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Oh, God. I'm a dead man. Oh!

Oh, here it is! Yeah!

Oh, hey, little girls.

Oh, man, that was wild. It was so weird.

Oh, man, whatever you want. You know that.

Oh, man! Whoo!

Oh, man. I hope there's enough juice left in these boosters.

Oh, Mike!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! No! No!

Oh, my God! No! No!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. The damn thing's caught in my belt.

Oh, my Lord. I am sorry.

Oh, no, thanks. I never touch the stuff.

Oh, no! For the love of God!

Oh, please, God, I'm dreaming.

Oh, she's totally legal. I've got all her papers and I pay all the taxes.

Oh, shit!

Oh, something tells me I want this car to just keep driving.

Oh, thank you, little roots.

Oh, that's sad.

Oh, there is a God.

Oh, we gotta... we gotta maintain.

Oh, what is this all about? We gotta be there at ten o'clock.

Oh, who else wants some? You?

Oh, yeah, man!

Oh!

Oh! Aaargh!

Oh! Oh! Buddy, are you OK?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

OK, maybe we could use some help.

OK, people. Coming through. Official police business.

OK, we got it, we got it, we got it...

OK, well, where would you want me to move this one?

OK?

OK.

OK.

OK. Move this one here. It's safe, I swear. It's safe.

OK. Promise me you'll stay right here.

One looked at me!

Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Or I'll have your balls in a jar on my desk.

Or I'll have your balls in a jar on my desk.

Or I'm within my legal rights to dispatch you with extreme prejudice.

Or pictures that look like Mike Donnelly set the fire.

Or should I say "nut"?

Over there.

Ow!

Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow!

Ow! You broke my nose!

Ow.

Pardon me.

Please don't be Mike Donnelly.

Please listen to him. Do what he says. I have children. Tommy and Sally...

Please stay strong.

Please!

Please!

Popping the hood.

Power to the people!

Promise me you'll stay in the car.

Psst! Steve. I'm in.

Rabbit punch! Rabbit punch, into pile driver!

Ready to start filming, Mr Stone.

Ready to start filming, Mr Stone.

Really.

Remember I told you a guy stole my car? He's a mile away. He's driving it.

Robbie, this is the biggest thing I've ever asked of you. You sure it's cool?

Row ads!

Row ads.

Row ads.

Run!

Scott. God gave you a hell of a throwin' arm,

See ya.

Setting the Pierce County rec hall ablaze.

Seven. Seven miles an hour.

She embarrassed me in front of a state, messed up things between me and Al.

She embarrassed me in front of a state, messed up things between me and Al.

Shut up.

Sir, honestly, I just came back to get my rental car and an apology.

Sleeper hold. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Snakes! Oh, no!

Snap kick! Side kick!

So anyway, what you're saying,

So are you.

So he says "Rectum? Damn near killed him!"

So I guess you guys should vote, you know, because...

So just find someone and give them the assignment... now.

So let's call off Operation "One of us is Crazy" and go our separate ways.

So stay put and I'll get you the details. All right?

So you fellas are... performers or...

Somebody help me!

Somebody! Somebody help me.

Somethin' isn't right.

Something's happening here. Steve, help.

Son, step away from this vector and get into a different coordinate, pronto.

Sorry.

Stay there. OK. OK. It's right in the middle.

Steve, get back here.

Steve?

Steve.

Take a look at his brother and ask yourself this question:

Take home, put in bed.

Takin' him back to Nevada, where he's wanted for bangin' horses.

Talking about your brother's election hopes or my career?

Tell me that is not your brother.

Tell me who sent you on this mission,

Tell me, Officer, do you have any idea how fast you were going?

Thank you, gentlemen. Excuse us just a moment.

Thank you, sir. You've just met Drake Sabitch, a great American soldier.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thanks, Al. Thanks.

Thanks, bro. At times in the campaign I lost sight of what really mattered.

That damned debate should've never happened in the first place.

That is a freaky word, man.

That wasn't safe at all. What an idiot.

That's 1,882 votes.

That's because for the last eight years I've worked hard as your governor

That's great. I'll be sure to tell him. Thanks for ringing up.

That's it. Corner it.

That's it. Game over. I'm not even getting paid for this.

That's my granddad. Rest in pieces, sir.

That's not normal.

That's one small step for man, one giant...

That's right, man.

That's sort of a weird word, isn't it?

That's today? We gotta watch it.

The arson accusations came at the worst possible time

The fact is Winston Sabitch was killed in the Argonne Forest in 1918.

The Governor is going to campaign HQ where she'll make her victory speech.

The idiot. OK? All right? Is that blunt enough for you?

The next governor of Washington, Al Donnelly!

The person I care about most in my life... hates me.

The police officer who arrived before our guys was a friend of Mike's.

The reason I'm calling is I wanted to tell you about the candidacy of Al Donnelly.

The voters have spoken, and I have heard their message loud and clear.

Then I am your man.

Then we sneak around back. When Tracy starts to...

Then you get him through this state a little faster than seven miles an hour,

There it is.

There.

There's a lot to be done right here, like phone canvassing, stuff like that.

There's a perfectly good explanation for all of this. Neuschwander.

There's a post election ceremony at the governor's mansion at 10am.

There's no access for you in this quadrant.

There's only 1,502 voters up in Garfield County.

They didn't count on me getting here first. Look, get out of here.

They got, like, levers galore in this thing.

They were wearing street clothes, but that is them.

This assignment you describe, if someone volunteered and did it well,

This election was about the majesty of democracy,

This guy's got a hell of a security system.

This is fun.

This is great. I've never won three games in a row.

This is great. There's 1,502 registered voters in Garfield County.

This is one area where I'm in total agreement with Governor Tracy.

This map is heavy.

This must be his dad, Norris Sabitch.

This sucks!

This whole fridge is held up here just by this plug.

Those are the problems I am interested in.

Three quarter cams, nitro boosters.

To be honest, I pretty much run the place!

To make sure our state is clean, safe and fiscally sound.

To make sure that all the hopes and dreams of Washingtonians come true.

Tracy won Garfield County?

Transportin' a prisoner. 12th Precinct up in Buckley Town.

Uh, gee, Mike. Al's kind of busy right now.

Uh, Meoff, Jack.

Um, I just talked to Charlie, and he's not mad at you any more.

Um, sir, I'm not a soldier.

Under wraps until the election is over.

Unless you move from this area far and fast! Now!

Unless you move from this area far and fast! Now!

Very good help, but "no speaka".

Very, very freaky.

Vote for Donnelly.

Voting kicks ass, right? Yeah!

Wait a minute. I gotta do somethin' first.

Washington has the most beautiful forests in America.

Washington State. Isn't it a great place to raise a family?

Watch and learn.

Watch this.

We didn't have any pudding in there, buddy.

We dress as caterers, right?

We have a game plan. Don't we, Roger?

We have got to keep this... this bozo

We have got to put a lid on him.

We'll meet you there. We can't do this without you.

We're just receiving word that Mike Donnelly, brother of Al,

We're live at the governor's mansion.

Welcome, Washington Teachers' Association!

Welcome!

Well, I got a 426 hemi in her.

Well, I'll have to see the pictures first.

Well, it better be.

Well, it better be.

What are you doing? Playing pocket pool there, son?

What could go wrong? I vote, I go home.

What do you mean, Al doesn't wanna speak to me? Why?

What do you think if I went down to...

What do you think, Steve?

What does it matter? He's got a gun! You're a cop.

What I thought is, we'd start with the supermarket, canvass that area first.

What in the hell was that all about?

What is wrong?

What the hell are you doin' in my perimeter?

What the hell is a marquee doin' here? It's crazy!

What the hell was that?

What's goin' on?

What's wrong, Sullivan? You mad cos you found out the new kid got an arm?

When compared to the problems facing our great state.

When she made it in her first campaign for governor eight years ago.

When the troopers arrive, I'll tell them I didn't find anybody here. All right?

Where is the frickin' thing?

Where people can leave doors unlocked and their minds are free from fear.

Where the gathered masses held their vote high.

Where the hell's Drake? He's supposed to be here.

Where'd you go?

Where's the fire?

Whips, chains, whistles, yo yos, a circus midget,

Who is he to say I can't talk to my own brother?

Who left this crap in here?

Who supported me in this victory.

Who told you that?

Who'd you vote for?

Whoa, what happened to you? D'you fall in some mud or something?

Whoa! Nitrous oxide boosters!

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa. Check it out.

Whoever's trailing... gives good money for whichever picture does them best.

Whoo!

Whoo! Come on!

Whoopsie daisy.

Whose name you'll find at the top of this list.

Why are you hitting me? Ow! It's gnawing at my skull.

Why are you kicking me? Ow!

Why didn't you tell me?

Why not? Governor elect.

With all deference, Governor, if he goes down.

With all the campaign staff and their families gathering for a festive affair.

With your help, we will make it all the way to the Capitol!

Without question.

Would he or she earn a staff position in your new administration?

Wow!

Wow!

Yeah, come on.

Yeah, I did. And I'm gonna be rich,

Yeah, man! I love you guys!

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, thanks.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, it's kinda easy to win when you, um...

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, ma'am.

Yes, my brother has some problems, but who doesn't?

You are not going to speak to him now.

You can punch out now, move on, let it go.

You can't catch a bat with a pot, moron.

You can't keep running away from things. You gotta be tough.

You covered really well.

You freaks better be careful, cos next time I don't go down so easy.

You gotta fight for your right to vote.

You heard it here, folks. Voter fraud.

You idiot!

You just tell Steve to watch him like a hawk and to keep the reporters at bay.

You keep your mouth shut, squirt.

You know what Al calls you when you're not around here?

You know what, Al? I don't think I'm really cut out for politics.

You know?

You look.

You make the call. The rest is for damage control. You stay put.

You OK?

You should work up to that. Kind of leaves you nowhere to go.

You stupid jerk! What are you doing?!

You stupid jerk! What are you doing?!

You take a mop and a broom... Oh!

You were great though, man. That was genius.

You'll have to tell me your name, so I'll know who to make out the cheque to.

You're a true American, Sergeant Sabitch. I thank you. OK.

You're lucky a kid didn't get his head cracked wide open.

You're right. But he doesn't deserve to be exiled.

1,048 to 834?

(applause) Get her, Al.

(bat screeches) (both) Whoa! Man!

(bat screeches) (both) Whoa! Man!

(insufficient signal tone) (sighs)

(man) And cut. I need a break. I'll be right back.

(peeing) Ah. Ooh.

(phone rings) Oh.

(riotous cheering) Yeah!

(screeching) I don't believe it. He's still alive.

(screeching) Oh, man!

(siren) Did you turn the siren on?

(woman) Oh! Hey! Excuse me! What's he doin'?

A souvenir for you here. Yes?

Agh! (women scream)

All right, all right. Straighten your tie.

All right, pal. What's goin' on here? You shouldn't play with matches.

All right? Yeah!

And that message is... (Mike) God! Help!

Back off, buster. Oh!

But... Listen, I'm running this show.

Bye. Hello?

Can the paper print a retraction? They'll run it on page 36 in two weeks!

Come on, Mother. Let me help you, sir.

Come on. Let's go. All the way, Governor.

Cowlitz County. Tracy wins by 280. Oh!

D'you have to go to the bathroom? Please... pop... the hood.

Did I make it? Yes.

Did you do this? No, no, no... Did you?

Did you get the numbers in? Oh. Hot off the wire.

Did you see who did it? Two guys. I don't know them.

Don't worry about those guys. They don't like me too much.

Donnelly's levelled off. Mm hm. We're dead even. Look at this.

Excuse me. You got a little chubby goin' there.

Fighting Donnellys stick together! Right!

Front page. Jesus, Mike!

Get in the car, dear. All right, Mother.

Get out of my way, buddy. Lady, I got somethin' for ya.

Get some water to wipe off that crud. I'm not a kid that'd believe that.

Get your ass up there. Ow!

Go ahead. Take off. Thanks, Robbie.

Go long. OK.

God! Here's the keys. Oh, thank you.

Good first day. Yeah.

Good night, Steve. Good night, Mike.

Good. I think I've lost him. Stop! Please!

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Help! Are you crazy?

Here it is. Of course. This had to be the place.

Here it is. Of course. This had to be the place.

Hey, Al. Well, in my opinion... I wanna talk to my brother.

Hey, Mikey. Hey, Robbie.

Hi, folks. Vote for Donnelly! Good God, man.

Hi, ma'am. (gasps)

His top advisor, actually. Wow. It's great to meet you.

Holy shit! (shocked gasps)

How are you? Steve! Please!

How come I can't say that word? Roads.

How's the weather up there, buddy? Shut up!

I can put the groceries in the trunk. Help from the Donnelly campaign.

I can't see a damn thing! Die!

I can't... (gasps)

I got dibs on top. OK.

I have a dream! (cheering)

I just got thrown on stage. Why couldn't you stay put?

I know what I'm doing. (moans)

I know what you're saying. Shh.

I never should have doubted you. Oh, thanks, man. It's cool.

I owe you one, man. Call me later.

I think I got it. No way.

I think it's in there. Well, then look.

I wanna get wrecked! (all laugh)

I want that asshole taken out. I'll get a sharpshooter on it right away.

I... No, trust me on this. It's a good idea.

I'm asking you to get off me! Governor... I should say ex governor!

I'm gonna go get 'em. Kick ass, Whitey!

I'm kidding. You're not from around here, huh?

I'm sorry, ma'am. You OK?

I'm trying. Well, try harder. Stay over there.

I've been fired. What? Why?

Is your mom picking you up? My mom and dad got a divorce.

Isn't that Steve Dodds? Uh, yes, sir.

It's all her. Shut up!

Jump in. Wash that crap off. There's probably piranha in there.

Ketchup packet. (laughter)

Let me get that for you. Look, I drove down here.

Limit. Limit. Limit.

Looks like nobody's home. Yeah, I met this guy. Nobody is home.

Mike. Mike, what are you doing here? Oh, man.

Mrs Oneacre? Hello? Mrs Oneacre? Yes.

Name and address. Mike Donnelly. 612 Caswell Street.

No, no, no! Please, somebody help me! Oh, man.

No, you jag, he ain't the governor. He's runnin'for governor.

Oh, God! Oh! Oh! Oh, God! (screeches)

Oh, God. I don't like this, Mike.

Oh, Jesus! I think I nailed it!

Oh, man! What a goon.

Oh, shit. (honking)

Oh, the car? Uh huh.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. "Sorry." And I don't know how it happened.

Oh, you're a large American. Argh!

OK. Hi, how are ya? Somebody get him off of me!

Ow! Oh!