Bride Wars (2009) Edit

A 30 year old guy will date a 30 year old girl.

A 40 year old guy wants someone 30, too, or 28.

A person.

A terrible mistake has been made,

A toast— To Daniel,

A wedding marks the first day...

Absolutely.

Absolutely. I mean, you know, I want you at my wedding.

Acapulco, 2006— Emma and Fletcher on a break.

Actually, I don't. You married my brother. That's weird.

Actually, I'm hopping into a cab, so I'm gonna give you a call a little later.

Address book. B.C.C. everyone.

After all, isn't that how you got a proposal out of him?

Ah, here's your video montage.

All right, a toast. To Liv― Congratulations to an amazing friend.

All right, okay. I did, actually.

All you need to know is how badly you want to win,

Almost back to normal, huh? I know, right?

Am I that predictable?

Amazing. You can't even see the blue anymore.

Amie and Marissa are throwing us thatjoint shower,

And B... so what? Let it out.

And besides, Marion says that our first dance...

And condolences to Emma, Liv's maid of honor.

And Fletcher in his little superhero outfits. It's tacky.

And get the dress you want? It's really pretty.

And here you are. Oh, look.

And I do love strapless. Me too.

And I have the perfect wedding present.

And I just wanna know if you want to marry me.

And I just— I cry all the time.

And I thinkjudicially we'll find favor

And I'll give you my piece of the cake— if you let me lead.

And I'm gonna tell you something...

And I'm kind ofstumbling around a little bit, but...

And I'm taking you down with me. Oh.

And I'm tired of it. So knock it off.

And if I'm 99 years old and we're doing exactly this in our home

And it ain't the Plaza. It's the elephant in the room.

And it's exhausting having to try to be perfect all the time.

And next time, I'm definitely getting married at the Plaza.

And nobody's gonna get hurt.

And one the last Saturday.

And pep squad and your after school detention.

And send. [ Beeps ]

And she's always saying that she doesn't need...

And she's kind of an ex heifer.

And Splenda. We survive.

And that means smiling and talking about my bridal beauty...

And the other bride on June 27.

And there are all these details and... I don't know.

And until one of us decides, we shouldn't make any concrete plans.

And yes, Your Honor, I will take this lofty man to be my husband.

And— [ Laughs ]

And, Em, you're gonna make a beautiful bride. Really.

And, Em, you're gonna make a beautiful bride. Really.

And, most importantly, not making it about you.

And, uh, I wanna do it here.

And, yes, maybe I misplaced the brief!

And, yes, maybe my best friend in the world forever hates me!

Angela, for example, will die dead.

Angela... mixed up the dates.

Any sign of progress on your end? Is Liv softening at all?

Anyway, Daniel can do your taxes. He's financey.

Apparently we're registered at Babies R Us.

Are we still on for tomorrow? Yeah, totally.

Are you all right? What the hell is goin' on? [ Groaning ]

Are you crying?

Are you proposing? Mmm.

Are you saying that I'm settling with Fletcher?

Are you straight? I don't like labels.

Are you upset because ofthis thing with Liv, or because I'm having feelings?

As you suggest, they'll hardly be in the mood to settle.

Aw. All right. Since you begged—

Babe! Double wedding.

Babe. Yes.

Basque waist, 1 0 layer tulle—

Because by letting a classmate read your draft―

Because I'll negotiate it. I negotiate for a living.

Because she doesn't know how to wait.

Because she makes a pittance compared to the other one of us, but—

Because the Plaza, practically, is the only happy memory she has of her childhood.

Because— You know what? Keep it.

Before the wedding, to sort of steady the nerves.

Break it down! Now the sexiest bride takes first prize. Let's see it!

Bride number two, you are the sexiest bride of the night, baby.

Bride one, walking. Bride one, walking. Oh.

Bug, what are you doing?

Bug? Do you have something you need to tell me?

But a 35 uear old guy wants someone 30.

But anyway, I'll give it to you because I'm the Paula.

But he should see your face when you first see the ring.

But I mean, if you like it,

But I'll call you.

But if you stay, you have to do yourjob.

But it is your day.

But now that you say it's impossible Hey.

But technically, I'm already behind.

But there's also the chance...

But you've come to me. [ Laughs ]

Butjust so you know— [ Chuckles ]

By the way, did you hear? I'm not pregnant, okay?

Bye, ladies. Hey, Liv.

Bye.

Call me dream catcher. I'll answer.

Call you later. What are you go—

Can Can be, uh—

Can we get four tequila shots? No. No.

Can you take my late bus patrol today?

Can't you just send her a big box of chocolates on Mother's Day,

Caviar cocktail hour Cigar roller, white glove service—

Celadon cymbidium orchids. Great deejay.

Check on the grooms' status and man your battle stations. Okay.

Come on up here, girl! We want to see the way you move!

Come on, really― What was she thinking? Oh, hey.

Come on.

Come on. Come on. You know I always lead.

Come on. Have a nice day. Whatever.

Come on. We know how to dance.

Complicated, overbearing,

Dad. What is it? I knew there'd come a day to give it to you.

Daddy, I need to see her.

Damn, she's competitive. Their dance is totally gonna be better than ours.

Dance off! Dance off! Dance off! Dance off!

Date these.

Deb, I have been dealing with versions ofyou my whole life,

Did you get my note? Yeah.

Didn't you tell me she's wearing a Vera Wang?

Do I get— Is Is it, like, a pay thing?

Do not use me as a reference.

Do you know how many things I can think about at once?

Do you think it's the work of Marion St. Claire?

Do you think there is something better than Vera Wang?

Do you wanna dance? Yes.

Don't worry about me. Worry about Daniel.

Don't you wanna get married? Honey, can we talk about this later?

Done. Hmm. Good.

Drop you off at Pleasant and Nice, where we met.

Eating sticks of butter from different lands?

Emergency. This is not spam.

Emma Allan, is that the same dress you wore to the Delta Gamma...

Emma always gets the sympathy vote. I never get the sympathy vote, do I?

Emma has chosen a less extravagant cake.

Emma looks gorgeous.

Emma thinks I'm showing off?

Emma— No! Stop it. No. Liv!

Emma, are you sure?

Emma, Emma. Emma— just say thank you. Just—

Emma, it's like you don't have a spine. Oh, wait. That's right.

Emma, there you are.

Emma, this party is invitation only.

Emma, wear this. Emma, say that.

Emma, you are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Ready.

Emma, you settle.

Emma!

Emma! Emma! ♪ See no light of day ♪

Emma? ♪ The closed blinds in my home ♪

Emma's save the date e mail was a smidge tacky.

Erin? No. I did not sleep with him.

Even when they can't sing, you compliment their outfit.

Every wedding has a price, hon. What's yours?

Excellent.

Excuse me!

Excuse me. Excuse me.

F from my dear friends who would've given anything to be here today.

Fine. That's

Fine's a feeling.

Fine's not really a feeling though.

First Oh! I was thinking.

First ofall, Daniel bought that ring in December.

Fletch?

Fletcher, you've been my friend for 1 0 years.

Fletcherjust proposed, like, two minutes ago.

Focus. That's right.

For being too sexy.

Former chubby girls— We're made of steel.

Get a splash of that Kahlúa next to wherever that paralegal is.

Get out. Yeah.

Girlfriends sticking up for each other.

Give it up for bride number two, y'all!

Give video a five count and roll.

Glen. [ Beeps ]

Go ahead. Open it.

Go on back.

God, I feel so blessed to have this body. [ Chuckles ]

God, I hate Daniel! [ Laughs ] ♪♪ [ Phone ]

God, I'm so nervous. I don't know why.

God, she's scary.

God, you swore! You swore you'd never show that to anyone.

Goddamn it!

Going home early and watching your backed up TiVo?

Good bye.

Good call.

Good call. Allan. Lerner.

Good luck, ladies.

Good luck, sweetheart. Oh.

Good to see you. All right.

Gorgeous, smart, sexy woman in my life.

Great!

Great. Emma's wedding's gonna be better than ours was.

Guard your camps, execute your duties, and we may make it out of here alive.

Harpist is Allan. Quartet is Lerner.

Has the Allan officiant reported for duty yet? Yes, he has.

Hates me!

Have you ever heard ofpee not gree gio?

Haven't you been listening? I've got an appointment with her on Friday.

He's a lucky guy. [ Woman ] Yep. The biggest day of a girl's life.

He's doin' my taxes tomorrow night.

He's gonna be dead soon. Why? What—

He's very pitchy. You know, Fletch, that is actually a real thing.

Held in their hands a new dream—

Hello, Angela. Just...

Hello, bride!

Hello? ♪ 'Cause the fear in me just won't go away ♪

Hello? Men.

Here to the Palm Court for tea.

Hey, babe? I don't think they sent us any fortune cookies.

Hey, can I make a suggestion?

Hey, Kevin. It's Emma. Is Liv there?

Hey, let me buy you a cup of coffee.

Hey, Mr. Allan. How are you? [ Chuckles ]

Hey, what's the matter with that? Huh?

Hey!

Hey! I have to rent a tux.

Hey! I'm sorry. Who is this? ♪ I'm scared to face another day ♪

Hey.

Hey. Are you single? Uh, yeah.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Oh.

Hi, girls. [ Laughs ]

Hi, sweetie. Hi.

Hi! Mr. Allan!

Hi.

Hi. Bit of Honey today? That's the one I loaded.

Hi. Hello, Stacy.

Hi. I'm Liv Lerner. Hi, Ms. St. Claire. Wow.

Hi. We're Marion's 1 :00. Mm hmm.

Honestly, Carla. Caitlin?

Honey!

How about one more dance,

How are you? It's Emma and Liv.

How many times do I have to repeat myself?

How you doing, Em? Hmm? How you feeling?

How'd you like to be my maid of honor?

I always knew my wedding would be the happiest day of my life.

I am Ricky Coo,

I bring you motion. I bring you rhythm.

I ca— I can't believe it.

I called Fletch, and she picked up.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe you told Emma.

I can't do this anymore.

I can't give you her name, ofcourse.

I can't wait to get into this one.

I cannot go to the state finals.

I caught a glimpse of Emma when I was scouting out the enemy camp.

I don't even know who you are. You have not even tried to ask me about how I'm feeling.

I don't have to have it constantly together all the time.

I don't know how they're gonna cut me out of the footage. I'm in everything.

I don't know though. Is that weird? You should go for it.

I don't know, baby. Dance class?

I don't know. I think she's kind ofsad.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting, Fletch.

I expect my brides to be flawless.

I feel fine. You could say that. People say that.

I feel like I'm cheating on my mom's dress.

I figured nothing— nothing bad would happen again if I wasjust...

I found this when we moved to Boca, and I saved it.

I gained five pounds. Five pounds. It might as well be 50!

I get to do noth— [ Gasps ]

I got it. I'm gonna figure it out.

I gotta get married first.

I gotta let it sit for a day or two.

I had this idea of how it was gonna be in my head, and—

I happen to have...

I have been saving since I was 1 6.

I have to look. Stop it! No! No!

I have, like, one layer ofskin left, but that should be okay for our wedding.

I hope you can appreciate the positions Amie and I are in.

I just don't know what's taking Daniel so long.

I just don't screw up. I just don't get demoted.

I just need a few more days to... let it go.

I just want to pass on a blessing from our generation.

I knew.

I knew.

I know you.

I know, bug. Is this everything? This is all your as receipts—

I know, right? That was so tacky.

I know. I have no idea.

I know. It's my fault. I've been really busy. Oh, yeah. Right. Busy.

I know. It's, like, verging on being a digital short.

I know. They take it so seriously.

I know. You know what I was wondering?

I like that, a lot. Keep that.

I love Bring Your Hot Girlfriend to Work day. Totally.

I love spring break! I want to dance!

I mean, children talking about their little problems.

I mean, Emma, yellow— Not your color.

I mean, I was gonna be perfect for you,

I mean, ifwe pound them,

I mean, it was supposed to happen, but I canceled it. I thought I did.

I mean, June 6 at the Plaza, smiley face?

I mean, no offense. But you're the Paula.

I mean, she's always been nuts. I know. And messing with our couple style?

I mean, she's been divorced, like, three times.

I mean, sometimes it does.

I mean, you know, I might make some suggestions, but—

I mean, yours can be, um—

I need you to be my friend now and tell me the truth.

I never thought she resented how much money I made, but I guess I was wrong.

I particularly hate peppy teenage girls...

I practically made money on it. Liv, it's too much.

I put a lot ofthought into where I was gonna do this,

I realized something I'd forgotten a long time ago.

I said not bitchy. But you're right there in that neighborhood.

I said your wedding can suck it. Your wedding can s Be—

I said your wedding should be very scared right now.

I say it's time for a dance off. Dance off!

I should probably keep looking.

I shouldn't have so many— Oh, God! I can't even talk to you right now!

I so admire you for that.

I tend to draw the eye, so it's gotta be good.

I think it's kind of― might be necessary at this time of my life.

I think it's very— It's gonna be They're gonna love it.

I think Ms. Delgado is looking for you.

I think she feels the same way. [ Knocking ]

I thought we were rising above this sort ofthing.

I understand. Thank you.

I was supposed to get it dyed back at 7:00.

I was worried about her cake. It could be two Ding Dongs and a Yodel for all I care.

I went to law school, people.

I wish I could just do the bare minimum.

I wish I had pictures. You know?

I wish your parents could be here too.

I wouldn't marry Simon. I'd marry me some Paula.

I— Hey, you wanna have her back in the game?

I— You are my number one. I know. That's how I feel.

I'd just be careful. Miss Wang is a stern mistress.

I'd kinda like my own day just—just once. [ Calculator Clicking ]

I'd like to promote you—

I'll do the debate team— Okay, good.

I'll find a new dream. Liv's reasons are better than mine.

I'll get that.

I'll get you more champagne.

I'll just have one. Thanks.

I'll see you tomorrow? All right.

I'll take that.

I'm a ball. Really. I am. Don't touch me.

I'm a little surprised. I would have thought a big magazine writer would have his own tux.

I'm awake.

I'm engaged.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm get married. June 6th. [ Sizzling ]

I'm getting engaged! You're getting engaged!

I'm getting married too, baby!

I'm getting married. Yeah. Are you happy?

I'm going inside. What?

I'm gonna be right back.

I'm gonna call Liv.

I'm gonna do a quick head count of the hot drunk single guys and then choose.

I'm gonna go with a clip on 'cause I can't figure this out.

I'm good, bud. How're you? Big day, huh?

I'm happy if you're happy.

I'm here with Miguel.

I'm hurt. I am very hurt, Liv. I gotta go.

I'm incredibly concerned with our couple style. [ Door Opens ]

I'm just cuing it up. Mm hmm.

I'm just going to check my ice sculptor Rolodex. Right.

I'm just gonna put it back. Put it back. Okay.

I'm literally running circles around you. Do you know that?

I'm mad because maybe she's right.

I'm Marion St. Claire,

I'm not mad. No, not at you.

I'm not really a big band kind of girl. Whatever.

I'm number one too.

I'm really happy for you.

I'm so confused. I don't even know who you are.

I'm so lonely and confused, and very thirsty. Please, Miguel―

I'm so sorry about everything.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, can you hold on? just a minute, I— Sorry.

I'm sorry, Liv's dealing with a crisis right now. Can we return?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Do they keep that next to the something that is better than chocolate?

I'm sorry. Do they keep that next to the something that is better than chocolate?

I'm sorry. What? Meet who? Marion St. Claire.

I'm sorry... too.

I'm sort of like a celebrity back there, probably.

I'm starting to think that 30 is the cutoff.

I've always wanted a human wife.

I've heard this story 1 0,000 times, Emma.

If Fletcher and I were perfect for each other, then...

If I ruined it for you, I don't want it anymore.

If I were your wedding, I'd sleep with one eye open.

If you had just waited until tonight—

If you heard what was actually going on, you would totally side with me.

If you really want to mess with Emma's first dance— Mm hmm?

If you'd gone elsewhere, not a chance.

If you're about to jump ship from one wedding,

If you're not okay with that, feel free to go.

Ifthe other one of us wasn't so desperate to get married at the Plaza...

Ifwe could all refer to the briefs I've drawn up. I've highlighted a few main points.

In a week! A week!

In case you need something old or blue.

In the House of St. Claire.

Incoming, people.

Introduces our couple style to the world. Oh, well, naturally...

Is it something that you would want?

Is it that bad? Fletch said he didn't think it was that bad.

Is it? Really? You know what? You're doing it right now.

Is not moving her date?

Is she? W Was she nearby?

Is the same person who's been standing beside you all along.

Isn't Daniel the sweetest?

Isn't that nice?

Isn't that what you want? 'Cause it's what I want,

It even sparkles in the rain. Blinding. Ouch.

It highlights the essential harmony of their partnership.

It is my burden and mine alone.

It might be a good idea to actually get the proposal.

It never occurs to me like that.

It snowballs. Listen, can I get a little bit more lowlight?

It was amazing. I want to know everything about it.

It's a hedge fund, babe. We don't do a lot oftax prep.

It's a slow dance. It's like we did in college.

It's a tense time. We're fine. Whatever. I was gonna go to the gym.

It's a waltz. It's a little more precise than just holding each other up.

It's all right there. Look at Emma's eyes Like a hunter's.

It's an aggressive approach, exploiting the weaknesses of our plaintiff's case,

It's blue! I have blue hair!

It's done. You lose.

It's gonna be great.

It's gonna be, like, pictures of them as babies.

It's gotta be Fletcher's idea. That's just—

It's like American Idol, all right?

It's like I don't have anybody. I feel so alone.

It's like I was up there, and there's this spotlight, and when I hit that rope—

It's like you read my mind.

It's mine. It's mine. I wanna surprise her.

It's my dream too— To get married at the Plaza. [ Clicking ]

It's my worst nightmare. I'm cubicle ized.

It's nice. Well, but everyone listens to Simon.

It's no problem. Hold on. It's no problem.

It's not a ring?

It's not that I don't care. Well, get your phone then.

It's not the end of the world.

It's notjust about the hair.

It's over. I can't do this anymore.

It's really Liv's.

It's so not ideal.

It's so weird having this on my finger. I mean, hey, look.

It's stunning. It's perfect.

It's sweet ofyou to send me those treats, but I— What treats?

It's the best she can do, huh?

It's this really nice white wine.

It's too cruel. It's too mean spirited. Too in character?

It's unnecessary for you to touch me so hard. Technically, she pushed me too.

It's very elegant. [ Slurps ]

It's very important that I— I so don't care.

It's weird, losing. I gotta say I'm not loving it.

It's what you can stop doing. This is all your fault.

It's your wedding. Oh. My mom can't fly up until the wedding.

It's, like, the wrong time to let the guy know that you're crazy.

It's, like, there are other pathways in life besides aggression, you know?

It's... my size, and it's new.

It'sjust ridiculous.

Judging by that DVD, you're a lot more like her than I thought.

Just a second.

Just be very careful about any pre wedding weight gain.

Just change your date. She's crazy! Somebody call Security.

Just like your ass at prom.

Just make sure it's not so— Like, more gold base.

Just one.

Just read it yourselves.

Just sign and...

Just think about it, feel it, catch it—

Just... let them go.

Kevin! Tequila. Tequila's so trashy.

Kevin. Kevin. I need coffee.

Kind ofthink I wait around too long.

Know what else is great?

Lately you've been very mad and tense and excited.

Let mejust tell you something! I don't want to fight!

Let someone else know so we can create a diversion.

Let's go. Okay.

Let's move, people. This is not a dress rehearsal.

Let's talk numbers.

Let'sjust not do anything— Right.

Like a hint. [ Inhales ]

Linens for Lerner? Yes.

Listen, you think I could have a word with your sister?

Liv is the Simon. Ugh. God.

Liv, blue! Hair! Hey, Advil.

Liv, I can't. Hey, hey. It was on sale.

Liv, shut up. Yes or no? Yes. Yes.

Liv, you deserve this and more.

Liv, you let him do this his own way.

Liv. [ Chuckles ]

Liv's engaged. You're engaged.

Look, let me in!

Marion, could I just run down the hallway for a second?

Marion's eating it up. [ Sniffs ]

Marissa. Where are you? I can barely hearyou.

Maybe her marriage will be better too.

Maybe I should take up chanting. ♪♪ [ Continues ]

Maybe I'll try to strip it down to white.

Maybe Marion shouldn't be recommending Ricky Coo, Doctor of Dance so much.

Maybe you guys could share that one has yielded significant results.

Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding.

Maybe your approach is too aggressive.

Means that I cannot tell you who she is,

Miss Allan. Oh, hi.

Miss Wang—

Mm hmm. It's a terrible planet.

Mm mmm.

Mm mmm. Middle school's a jungle.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Because it's the last time men want to date women their age.

Mmm. Looks good.

Mmm. Oh!

Mom! [ Chuckles ]

Move your date, Liv.

Mr. Simmons called again asking for the update on the agreement.

Mr. Simmons, you don't— You don't know me, but I—

Ms. St. Claire will see you now.

Ms. St. Claire, first off, I'm obsessed with you.

Much the way you couldn't let me have DJ Humble. That was low, Liv.

My college buds Oh, my God.

My friends won't take sides. Who says it has to be a friend?

My God, you're the most beautiful bride I have ever seen.

My God! That's totally it. I'm upset because you have feelings. You nailed it.

My hair is blue. My wedding's in a week, and I'm paying my maid of honor.

My hair's blue!

My wedding's gonna be a big black hole in the history of the Plaza!

Nate. Mr. Allan, thank you.

Neither am I.

Neither do you.

No one could accuse you of being soft, Liv.

No way. And there's no way she's gonna blink first.

No, baby. Baby, let it happen on its own.

No, but you were both so good.

No, no, no. A thousand times, no.

No, no, no. Kevin. Kevin, listen to me. You don't even like tequila.

No, no, no. None for me.

No, no! [ Squealing ]

No, no. Not at all. But this

No, now look, calm down. I'm gonna get it dyed back.

No, uh, I'm gonna... try it on.

No, you don't have to come here. I'm fine. I'm not gonna eat anything. Okay.

No, you don't. No, you don't have to be perfect.

No. It's up to us. I want you at my wedding.

No. Just— It'sjust an honor.

No. No, no. I'm wearing my mom's dress.

No. No, she's—

No. No, you were right.

No. You take the 6th, give me the 27th—

Not about the the fight, about something else. Oh, yeah. Sure.

Not all the time, but every once in a while it's my time. Like today.

Not anymore. Miss Lerner's offthe case. I'm taking over.

Not filled with loneliness and sadness. [ Toilet Flushes ]

Not that either of them can imagine hurting each other at this point.

Not you. No, a different one.

Nothing to do with the fact that I'm the brother ofyour archenemy. I mean, best friend.

Notjust from myself but from...

Now I will dance with you until we have six babies and a house.

Now I've read the brief that she put together on you—

Now this— Emma's stuff. Emma's stuff. Let's get rid of it at one point.

Now we just have to find you another maid of honor, uh, and fast.

Now, as for the flowers, Eufloria has put in a bid.

Now, uh, we should discuss themes.

Now, your music is— Yes.

Obviously. Ifwe can't think of any other way out ofthis,

Of course, even the luckiest bride needs something to take the edge off.

Of how they work together, solve problems, communicate.

Of the implications of their wedding date.

Of the rest ofyour life.

Ofcourse it doesn't hang right on you.

Ofcourse you were at the very top of my maid of honor list.

Officer Not Your Husband is here to arrest you!

Oh—

Oh, boy, I need a tissue.

Oh, God. I would never. I'd be out of my mind.

Oh, God. I would never. I'd be out of my mind.

Oh, God. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—

Oh, good.

Oh, honey.

Oh, I almost forgot something.

Oh, I see. Well, then thank you for putting me through.

Oh, it's Marion.

Oh, Liv.

Oh, Liv.

Oh, my God, Emma!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Em? Where did you find that?

Oh, my God. Emma.

Oh, my God. I'm gonna cry. You're gonna screw up your makeup, honey.

Oh, my God. It's your parents.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Okay. Okay.

Oh, my God. Sister's gettin' married here. [ Chuckles ]

Oh, my God. Thank you. You are so sweet.

Oh, my goodness!

Oh, my gosh! Yeah.

Oh, no. [ Groans ]

Oh, no. You look fine.

Oh, okay. You're pitchy.

Oh, pathetic. Pathetic! Second, people always make you do things you don't wanna do.

Oh, thank God. All right. You guys finish the rest ofthis.

Oh, this fighting is so dumb.

Oh, wow, Mom. Oh, my God! Is that my dress?

Oh, you changed your mind? I saw the Tiffany box in the closet.

Oh, you know, I'm really swamped though. I'd need a lot of help.

Oh!

Oh! And tell me how the meeting goes. Watch this power walk.

Oh! My parents' anniversary is the 6th. That's so meant to be.

Oh? But he and I had a deal— in principle.

Oh. And it's impossible to go get them back? No, no, no, no.

Oh. If it had been my wedding—

Oh. Marion's a visionary.

Ohh— Lace bodice.

Okay, okay, okay. Make it stop. Please.

Okay? Can you do that?

Okay? Or rather Mr. Colson is.

Okay? Seriously. Oh, but you know what? Try this.

Okay? So officially, I was first.

Okay. Got it.

Okay. Here we are.

Okay. I I don't know what happened. Um—

Okay. I'll be your maid of honor.

Okay. I'm going to Liv's ceremony and Emma's reception. More booze.

Okay. It's, like—

Okay. So in other words, then don't have so many feelings, but if I do, don't show 'em.

Okay. This feels pretty good right now, I gotta say.

One I assure you has never happened before...

One of us hasn't called me yet, but you know what?

One of us will have to move her date. Yep.

One of us will just have to be married on a different day.

One of us will simply have to be flexible.

One of us will.

One step ahead ofeverything and everybody, all the time.

One— Two.

One, two, three!

Ooh, for me! AJolly Walrus cookie bouquet. Is Daniel a keeper or what?

Ooh. Dream catcher.

Oops. Not you, Liv.

Or read Nate's first story in New York magazine.

Our best associate, Mr. Simmons.

Our discovery process in depositions and document requests

Particularly ifwe pull justice Givens.

Perfect hair, skin, nails, everything.

Pitchy. It's not just code for someone you don't like.

Please, get on your feet, and let's dance!

Please.

Please. That's a terrible reason. We're gonna try this on, okay?

Please. You're really calling dibs on fortune cookies now?

Probably, um, not...

Promise me you won't tell anyone until after he proposes.

Purse. It's like the whole city is made out of lint.

Really, really fast, because I left something there yesterday.

Really? Honey, it's so out of nowhere.

Really? I didn't get that from what she—

Really. What What What can I do to make you feel better?

Reset, people. Reset.

Right? [ Exhales ]

Right. One of us could.

Roses for Lerner. Peonies for Allan.

See, that is sweet. And loyal.

See? It's that head for details.

See? That's why I need a maid of honor. You don't care.

She She's in her room. She's

She ate halfthe box already, lady. Forty five dollars.

She can be your wedding buddy.

She sure is. Oh, my gosh.

She went for the hair. Girlfriends don't do that.

She will surely be the most nightmarish bride ever.

She'd know just what to say.

She's always thinking about number one. No.

She's finally gone completely crazy. Not that I'm surprised at all.

She's gonna move her date. She always was the bendy one, even as a kid, remember?

She's pregnant! Emma's pregnant! [ Chuckles ]

She's so weird.

She's too busy with work. But who cares. I've got you, right?

She's trying to make me fat so I can't fit into my dress!

She's trying to overwork you, so you crack under pressure.

She's way ahead of us. I mean, where are our divorces?

She's— Little bit.

Should we toast? To marriage?

Showdown!

Sit.

So God bless him for wanting...

So I don't want to know anything, ever.

So I'm thinking about getting DJ Humble to spin at my party.

So lame. She wants to play dirty? I can play dirty. [ Dial Tone, Beeping ]

So one of us...

So sorry to hear about your divorce.

So we have scotch— Okay. Scotch is good.

So, according to Ms. St. Claire, you are allowed one weak nip...

So, oops. That's Right.

So, um—

Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken.

Sometimes it's about me, okay?

Sorry, bride number one. Can't win 'em all, girl.

Sort of. [ Whispers ] This is three loofahs.

Space!

Space!

Sprockets!

Still pending, and, sadly, DJ Humble is no longer available on that date.

Subject Listen. Listen. No, no, no, no, no.

Such a good man. Emma's so much like him.

Suppose I should just tell them you're dealing with a crisis?

Sure thing. Okay, thanks.

Sure.

Sure.

Surprised?

Sweetheart, you could get married in a brown paper bag, I wouldn't care.

T minus three hours, people.

Talk to you soon. One of us should—

Talking to the guy who messed up my centerpieces. Oh, gosh.

Taxi! Taxi.

Taxi! Taxi.

Tequila, tequila? Tequila! Tequila!

Thank you, Liv.

Thank you, Nathan.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thanks.

Thank you... so much.

Thanks, Em. You're welcome, Liv.

Thanks. Bye.

That bitch!

That I people please my way through life.

That I should've told myself a long time ago.

That is good. Excellent.

That is good. Excellent.

That is the agreed upon—

That one day they would find that one person...

That study group was nuts.

That the one person you can count on for a lifetime—

That was a dig at me.

That would be the 6th and the 27th.

That'll be good enough for me.

That's a century in girl years.

That's how I held it together ever since I was a kid.