Free Guy Edit

A cappuccino.

A homosexual and a man in a wheelchair

A level 102 from Clan Ragnarok.

A little Sunday Drive.

A reboot, it doesn't erase his AI coding.

A robbery. The gunman told it to the driver

A sequel.

A weird funny joke. You wanna hear it?

About a self aware NPC is real?

About NPCs and how I play the game.

Activate death blow.

Actual AI. You know, alive.

Actually, I think I'd like to try a cappuccino today.

Actually, I'm gonna jump back into the game.

Actually, that's a big problem, Guy. It's a massive problem.

AKA Millie Rusk.

All I need from you is to get me in there.

All I'm doing right now is opening the door.

All of this, levelling up so fast.

All over themselves if you say it.

All right, I got him. I got him. Don't worry.

All right, let's all remember this moment, before we were fired.

All right, people, you heard him. It's go time!

All right? You're living in the past. You are stuck. You gotta move on.

All right. The clip you're looking for should be on the wall to your left.

All that shit makes your level go up.

All the characters have different skins. Of course they do.

All these people here are players. We live in the real world.

All these? This one? Right, this one?

All we do is bone and brawl and slit throats.

All yours. Just put down the axe.

Almost scared to ask, but what are you going with?

Also the one who's trying to hit me with this bogus lawsuit

Also, aren't you some kinda MIT genius, indie game designer?

Also, he's, like, crazy hot.

Also, Millie, food for thought, he's, like, four.

Although "catchphrase" as a catchphrase is a pretty cool catchphrase.

An NPC? That's impossible.

An obsession with feel good diva pop.

And a green tea boba.

And all pursuant spin offs?

And another thing.

And every morning,

And Free City, it may be popular but it's so idiotic, it makes me wanna cry.

And go.

And guess what? Keys is my boy.

And Guy, I mean, he has evolved way further

And he was alive because he met the one pers

And he was alive because he met the one person

And he was someone who was designed to never meet the right person.

And he's a dick?

And here he is, taking out Beefoven,

And here's the thing, bro. Here's the thing.

And his now no longer in the background a digital friend.

And I don't know if this is just some whack Reddit theory

And I don't need money or fame to prove that to myself.

And I had to make it realistic, so

And I knew I was right. I was right!

And I know that you love Kentucky Fried Chicken,

And I never found it again.

And I work at the bank.

And I'm what? I'm what?

And if I can help you save it, I wanna do that

And if you didn't use our code

And it could get me fired.

And it's not tucked in. You look sloppy.

And kip up!

And not just the face, you know, like, the whole thing.

And now he's lying about it

And now I'm one of the sunglass people.

And now your game is gonna be released by Soonami,

And now, it's time for you to take your place next to the Emperor.

And of course he's not even real!

And of course it doesn't look the same.

And she had this very cute but oddly specific habit

And some, like, fairy dust, pixie dust,

And that was the heartbreaking story of Blue Shirt Guy.

And that's yours.

And the Bombshell character in the game

And the evidence that I need is in the game.

And the people who wear sunglasses are heroes.

And then I plopped down into this slice of heaven.

And then I remembered.

And then I saw you.

And then killed.

And then we're gonna ban you for life.

And then you repeat the same thing tomorrow.

And then, I'd teabag 'em a little bit.

And there's Joe! He's my friend, I know that guy.

And we just have to find it before Free City 2 launches.

And we're all just players in the game?

And we're in some sort of gang together?

And where the hell is Dude?

And who better than the person that I was sitting next to every day?

And you can come and go, but, to me,

And you don't have to be scared.

And you know what? I don't want her to.

And you, you tried to steal it from me

And you, you tried to steal it from me with that Molotov chick.

And you...

And you're gonna hand it over.

And, for a second, I felt amazing.

And, honestly, it's got me realising,

And, Millie,

And, Millie, it works.

And, then, something changes. He comes to life. Why?

And, you, what is she still doing in the game, man?

Antwan found a way to hide it in plain sight

Antwan hid our original build past the horizon, making it invisible...

Antwan is a genius.

Antwan is deep in the sequel launch. He's either not gonna care

Antwan may be an asshole, but he's not stupid.

Antwan out!

Antwan out.

Antwan swiped our AI engine to use in his dumb shooter.

Antwan, come on, man.

Antwan, hey. You look great.

Antwan, if you're watching this, please fix the game.

Antwan, is there something there?

Antwan, stop!

Antwan, we're already way behind porting over the skins from Free City 1.

Antwan, you don't know it would've failed.

Antwan, you should see this.

Antwan, you told the fans

Antwan, you're talking about terminating

Antwan!

Antwan. What else?

Anything I want. Thanks to you.

Are trying to murder a very small child.

Are we talking about God? You've met God?

Are you Blue Shirt Guy?

Are you kidding me?

Are you looking for some sort of banter thing

Are you married?

Aren't you sick of being shot at?

At Free City Harbor Park, there's a great swing set there.

Aw, fired by Antwan, the guy who stole our work?

Aw, shame will have that effect.

Badges? Is that like a Girl Scout thing? What is that?

Be careful.

Beat it. Go, go, go.

Because he's not a hacker, Antwan. He's an NPC.

Because looking at your lips move violates my NDA

Because she's got no proof and her ex partner works for me.

Because we're not the same.

Because you have got to meet him, Keys.

Besides, if you want to have any chance of making an impact here,

Big guns, bigger moustache.

Bigger! Badder! Radder!

Blue Shirt Guy, all proof of our code, everything, will be deleted.

Blue Shirt Guy?

Blue shirt guy.

Blue Shirt Guy. Who is he or she indeed?

Blue shirt?

Boot everyone.

Boot Molotovgirl now.

Boot them out of the game, now!

British.

BSG is levelling up and at a record pace by playing the hero.

Buddy,

Buddy, I missed you!

Buddy! I thought I'd lost you!

But he forgot to scrub the reflections.

But he never stopped hoping that he would meet "the girl of his dreams".

But he's running around, levelling up crazy fast

But he's still stuck in Free City.

But here's a revolutionary idea... close your goddamn door.

But I can't keep spending all my time with you.

But I love it!

But I'll tell you this, he's got me thinkin'

But I'm busy trying to figure out how to steal something.

But I'm not really good with descriptive words.

But I'm not scared anymore.

But if you're not real,

But it's all good with me if I don't have to pay you more.

But it's all here, check it out.

But it's not just that it's like a game. It is a game.

But Millie's got a real instinct for these things.

But now that we both know about Blue Shirt Guy,

But some people are saying that Blue Shirt Guy isn't even a player.

But that means any players who die will be done for good.

But that shit ends today.

But that's kind of my speed.

But the game physics won't allow you past the beach.

But the IP recognition is rock hard. Okay? So don't even worry about it.

But the underlying code in the game is the same. Our code.

But then, one day,

But way better.

But when I was in the back garden on that little swing

But yet his hands are so soft.

But you could rack experience points up by being a good guy.

But you get a medium coffee, cream, two sugars.

But you gotta wake up, please.

But you need to leave.

But you only exist here.

But you think you can find a way to get us past the collision mesh?

But zeros and ones, never. Zeros and ones are as cool as shit.

But, are you sick of living in the background?

But, compared with this, it tastes like liquid suffering.

But, right before he finished, he finally told my dad,

But, seriously, is it loot or is it just the experience?

Buying Free City 2.

By being the freaking good guy.

By early Tuesday night.

Bye bye, Blue Shirt.

Bye, Guy.

Bye, Molotov.

Can I come with you?

Can I get a little

Can I pretend I'm a ghost?

Can you do one, single, just one solid for me?

Can you please just let me go?

Cancel every player account!

Cappuccino.

Catchphrase! Everybody's watching!

Catchphrase?

Catchphrase.

Cheers.

Clearly.

Coffee used to be my favourite food,

Coffee, cream, two sugars, please.

Come in.

Come on now, you know we don't wear sunglasses.

Come on, Blue Shirt.

Come on, Blue Shirt. You can't escape the rabbit.

Come on, bring it in!

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on, give me one snake! Just come on, man.

Come on, Guy! You know me.

Come on, man. Get up!

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Come here. Come here.

Come to collect those knives you stabbed in my back, bro?

Come with me.

Coming soon... Free City 2!

Coming to get ya.

Cool, we're a team.

Cool.

Could leave you in the streets wet with the blood of innocents

Crazy awesome!!!

Crosshairs.

Cut it. It's out. Never even happened. Next.

Damn, girl, you're so feisty.

Deal?

Desperation, and a mountain of college debt.

Did he, Millie? Because, honestly, I'm not so sure.

Did you see the sneakers on that last robber?

Different how?

Diva pop. Yes, that's her.

Do you know the other security guards?

Do you like ice cream?

Do you see that?

Do you see them all now? Yeah?

Do you see this?

Do you wanna come grab a coffee with me?

Does this look intimidating?

Doesn't that mean that nothing you do matters?

Don't crib your jokes from the trolls of Free City.

Don't get rid of him. People like him. It's all over social media. No.

Don't have a good day, have a great day!

Don't have a good day, have a great day.

Don't have a good day, have a great day.

Don't have a good day, have a great day.

Don't have a good day...

Don't have a good day...

Don't have a good day...

Don't have a good day...

Don't know how you'll get in, but if you do, clip 56 might interest you.

Don't play with me! Seriously! I'm under way too much pressure!

Don't say words to me!

Don't talk to Antwan.

Don't walk, run.

Don't you get it? Don't any of you get it?

Don't you think he'd want a chance to save it?

Door, door, door. I got it.

Drop in Dude now.

Easy. I know your security guard.

Embattled Soonami game founder Antwan Hovachelik

Enough.

Even now, after the wipe.

Every day. Always.

Everybody down on the ground!

Everybody down on the ground!

Everybody down on the ground!

Everybody down on the ground!

Everybody except you.

Everybody get down on the ground!

Everybody get down on the ground!

Everyone! Gather round!

Everything else.

Except he wore a shirt. And could complete a full sentence.

Except it's not. It's Keys' game.

Except one thing.

Except they are there.

Except, what if the guy with the gun doesn't come?

Excuse me!

Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Expected you to just follow the rules...

Feel like I've been looking for her forever, you know?

Finally!

Finds himself in the crosshairs.

For a player to be a good guy.

For more of today's highlights

For starters, you can put your arms down.

For the sunglasses people, they get to do anything they want.

For when you wake.

Forming a little kitty tower, and then jimmying the locks.

Free City 2 is backwards compatible. It was in the commercial.

Free City 2 is gonna be jumunjious.

Free City 2 is not an update...

Free City 2: Carnage.

Free. What you said. Yeah.

Friendly gesture!

From a renegade gunship stolen by

Front of warm, dry gunfire...

Game physics won't even let you get past the shoreline.

Gamers, listen up, this is Revenjamin Buttons here.

Get back to work!

Get down!

Get out of my brain hole! I love bubble gum ice cream.

Get up, Guy, get up!

Get up, Guy.

Get up, Guy. Get up.

Get up!

Get up.

Giddy up!

Give it to me, Daddy. Give it to me!

Give it to me!

Giving this whole world the finger.

Go back to your side, man.

Go be the good guy.

Go find it and get out.

Go get 'em, Guy!

Go without me!

Go, go, go!

God! Okay, who did that? Who is doing that?

Good fucking morning, Goldie.

Good Lord, rook.

Good morning, Goldie.

Good morning, Goldie.

Good morning, Goldie.

Good morning, Goldie.

Good morning, Goldie.

Good morning, sheeple!

Good thing I know better.

Good.

Got a tall, half caf, double foam oat milk,

Got her. Got her! Got you! Got you!

Got it.

Got jokes, huh?

Got your game's original build out there for everyone to see.

Great day for the beach, but not Hitman's Beach,

Great.

Growing up in my family, it was

Growing up in my family, it wasn't good enough to be great.

Guy was, like, a one in a billion miracle. We can't replicate that.

Guy,

Guy,

Guy, can we talk?

Guy, I came to save you.

Guy, I need you to listen to me.

Guy, I tried to go back through, but the glitch is patched.

Guy, we need to talk.

Guy, what are we doin' here?

Guy, you don't do this, man.

Guy!

Guy!

Guy!

Guy! What about beers on the beach?

Guy! Where you goin'?

Guy?

Guy?

Guy?

Guy?

Guy.

Guy's behaviour is much more complex than it should be,

Guy's looking for a clip

Ha ha!

Ha ha!

Ha! I'm just keeping you on your toes.

Harder laughter!

Hardly ever, Guy.

Has anyone seen my cat?

Has anyone seen my cat?

Has anyone seen my cat? Has anyone seen my...

Has it ever occurred to you that some things matter more than numbers?

Have a good one, Guy.

Have a good one, Guy.

Have a good one, Guy.

Have a GREAT day!

Have a great day.

Have the quarterly reports on my desk by Friday.

Have the quarterly reports on my desk by Friday.

Having my arms up is just a real time saver.

He can call you by your real name.

He can never be the same.

He can't do that.

He is an algorithm who thinks he's alive.

He is the first real artificial intelligence.

He knows where we're going.

He loves the bubble gum ice cream.

He made it.

He meets you in Free City, and once he sees you

He punches so hard.

He was just kidding!

He was supposed to feel doomed, but instead, he feels alive

He'd been waiting for his whole life.

He'll figure out what you're up to and he'll throw everything he's got at you.

He's also a really cute guy.

He's barely written, but, sure, start the upload.

He's been lying about the game being backwards compatible.

He's brash and obnoxious, but he's really good at what he does.

He's dead! You hear me?

He's funny, and he's sweet, and he's so handsome.

He's glorious.

He's got that place booby trapped with spawn points.

He's in the crosshairs and embattled.

He's joyriding around Free City with some player called Molotovgirl.

He's just an NPC. Waste that mother

He's just resting.

He's like an icon. Is that the right word?

He's losing me money.

He's lying. He lied about using our code,

He's smart enough to be this diabolical.

He's so sleepy.

He's still stuck in this life, this loop.

He's very expressive with his body.

Hello, Hinata.

Hello, Officer.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Her name's Millie.

Her who?

Here goes.

Here we go. Y'all watching this?

Here you go.

Here's this week's highlights.

Hey, 40 year old virgin! Get over here!

Hey, Antwan, things are getting hectic.

Hey, Buddy...

Hey, guys.

Hey, it's like I'm a feather to him.

Hey, Keys, what skin are you going with?

Hey, Mouser, check this out.

Hey, my real name is Millie.

Hey, so where's the bank?

Hey, that's Phyllis. She's always losing her cats.

Hey, you really British, or is that an accent filter?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Hi!

Hey.

Hi, Randy. Milton.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Higher level?

His AI is still there, it just needs to be accessed.

His name is Luigi.

His name's Antwan, and, yes, he's an absolute troll.

His whole world's about to end.

Hit me. Ideas.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. I've got to admit that is kind of refreshing.

Hmm. Little dirt squirrel. I like it.

Hmm. You gotta be better at your job, buddy.

Hold the fudge.

Hold up. You want me to boot all the players?

Holy

Holy hell, what just happened?

Holy shit! You're Guy! You're Blue Shirt Guy! It's you!

Honey, honey. Shush.

How about you?

How am I supposed to get rid of my skin?

How are you pulling this off?

How can I move on?

How can you?

How do we reset his AI? Ideas, people. Come on.

How does it feel working for a galactic black hole of frozen shit?

How does the sunglass girl know your name?

How good is that?

How many an hour?

How'd you get in here?

How'd you get it?

Huddle up! Here's what we're gonna do! Everyone in!

Huh.

I always wondered what was in here.

I based it off of

I can bench press a sentence.

I can explain everything.

I can't believe I've never been here.

I can't die!

I can't even believe

I can't even froth my own oat milk in the morning.

I can't even see you. I'm literally focusing on background objects

I can't trace him.

I can't, okay?

I could barely feel it when he stepped on my face.

I created this world, but I can't live my life in it.

I didn't have time to wrap it.

I didn't see that coming.

I do this every day so much, I'd forgotten why.

I do. Southern shore. Hitman's Beach.

I don't care.

I don't even know if I'd have noticed a few NPCs going missing.

I don't even know what's happening right now!

I don't get it. What is this place?

I don't have a burning desire to see your mum's basement, thanks.

I don't have to do anything that I don't wanna do.

I don't know what that means.

I don't know who this guy is, but he's out skilling all these players.

I don't know, but he's good.

I don't know, but I don't buy it.

I don't know, Guy. How do you hold this thing?

I don't know, why do they?

I don't know. Keep walking.

I don't suppose this thing can fly.

I don't understand.

I don't want that.

I don't want you to stress

I feel brand new.

I felt pretty alive.

I found a clue. It's on a clip in a gamer's stash house.

I found these glasses and then I can see things now.

I got a stack of user complaints, like, a mile high.

I got you a present.

I got, like, 5% of that.

I had a relationship end over bubble gum ice cream.

I have naturally dewy skin.

I have no idea where these fools are running to.

I have three words for you. Blue Shirt Guy.

I have to show you something.

I hope it has the proof you're looking for.

I just checked the server stats.

I just checked with security. Keys hasn't left the building.

I just felt so

I just find the order of those threats very confusing.

I just miss my best friend.

I just think it's important to be transparent, okay?

I just thought I'd try something different today, you know?

I just took you hostage, so there are three badges on me.

I just use zeros and ones instead of words 'cause words will let you down.

I just wanna fully understand, here.

I know 'em all. Why?

I know how.

I know that sounds crazy, but it's true!

I know the woman I'm looking for.

I know what you want.

I know what you want.

I know you got the brains for it.

I know you have.

I know, I know.

I know, medium coffee, cream, two sugars.

I know.

I know. This is literally the first time I took my gun out the holster.

I levelled up.

I like to think of myself, actually, as not a code writer, but an author.

I looked at the numbers, the tracking, the focus groups.

I love banana cream sandwiches.

I love it, too! Come on, guys, get in here!

I love it!

I love it!

I love my life.

I love you, Millie.

I mean, he's just like you...

I mean, hell, technically, he is alive.

I mean, I haven't really even seen your face.

I mean, I'm an idiot,

I mean, I've seen the general area,

I mean, laws aren't really laws to them. They're more like mild suggestions.

I mean, Life Itself, it's essentially a fishbowl game.

I mean, that's really difficult. I can't even do that.

I mean, this is artificial life we're dealing with. I mean, that's insane.

I mean, um,

I mean, what about when someone runs in with a gun?

I mean, what's more real than a person tryin' to help someone they love?

I mean, when you put it on there,

I mean, you're talking about giving up millions of dollars.

I might've found something.

I need a video clip, and you're gonna give it to me.

I need more in my life than drip coffee. I want to make...

I need to know where.

I really appreciate this, Keys.

I really wanna kiss you. Is that weird?

I remember.

I rode a dude, too!

I said, stay down!

I said...

I say, okay, so what if I'm not real?

I should be thanking you?

I start my day with the most delicious coffee

I swear to God, if you touch that sock

I talked to her. I talked to her.

I talked to one of the sunglass people

I think Blue Shirt Guy's like a symbol, you know?

I think he's lying about Free City 1.

I think I know an Australian accent when I see one.

I think it's going really well.

I think someone's at the door.

I thought the same thing.

I thought we'd be lucky to give it away.

I thought you liked Blue Shirt.

I thought you were an NPC. How did you find me?

I tire of these games, Keys. It's time I went god mode on this beyotch.

I told you to smoke his ass.

I took a piggyback ride on a half dude and a half horse,

I took your advice.

I tried that, but I,

I tried, okay? You were right, it's over.

I turned off the accent filter.

I used to shoot all the secondary characters

I waited outside by the murder train,

I wanna dance to that song with my body.

I wanna kiss you so badly.

I wanna make sure that I'm getting this straight.

I wanna write a song about it.

I want him gone. I don't care who it is, boot him.

I want your help, Buddy. I don't have the safeword.

I was trying to steal a video clip, now we're trying not to die.

I was wondering when I'd see you again.

I wish we weren't closing so I could hear more about this.

I work alone.

I worked on him myself. He's perfect.

I wouldn't touch him if I were you, Buddy.

I, uh, have a lawsuit against the publisher

I... Lose?

I'd like to try a cappuccino.

I'll give them right back.

I'll just, uh, grab you one.

I'll make it.

I'll make it.

I'll say.

I'll see you on the inside.

I'm a player.

I'm a victim! I'm a victim!

I'm about to end this fool.

I'm done playing your game, Antwan.

I'm gonna need your sunglasses for a sec.

I'm gonna need your sunglasses.

I'm great. I'm great. You could put me down, by the way.

I'm Guy.

I'm here with Guy.

I'm here.

I'm joking.

I'm just a love letter to you.

I'm just being honest, I think the bunny suit is just a little much.

I'm just gonna put your gun down,

I'm just gonna...

I'm just saying, we could make an original game.

I'm just this idiot who's in the background?

I'm keeping these, asshole mouth.

I'm me, who I am right now, and I'm just trying to help a friend.

I'm never gonna die!

I'm not a ghost. I'm very disappointed,

I'm not gonna tell you.

I'm not stuck in a loop any more.

I'm not.

I'm pretty good.

I'm reeling you in. I'm reeling you in.

I'm saying that our game, Life Itself,

I'm sitting on the toilet right now, stealing user codes,

I'm so, so good at this.

I'm sorry that I haven't been around, Bud.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, lady. I think you have the wrong guy.

I'm sorry, wait, you let who kiss you?

I'm sorry! Oh, God!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. "So what?"

I'm terrified.

I'm the robber!

I'm tryin' to say that things in this city don't have to be this way.

I'm trying. I'm trying as hard as I can, but her account's spoofed.

I'm, like, a fan. You're awesome.

I've been figuring some stuff out.

I've been going through Guy's code and there is something there,

I've been scared my whole damn life.

I've got a best friend, I've got a goldfish,

I've lived here in Free City my whole life.

I've looked, Keys. You know I have.

I've never given anyone any of my fingers.

I've never seen anything like this.

I've seen him, Keys. He's forgotten everything.

I've seen this place.

If I could just make it out past that water,

If I'd put out your dumb game, it would have bombed.

If they get past that horizon to the build, I lose everything!

If this clip really does prove that Antwan reused our code illegally,

If we can find our original build in the game,

If we can get there, that is the evidence we need.

If we reboot the server

If you change your mind, I'll be around.

If you don't wanna shoot people, you could steal their guns.

If you don't, we're gonna kill you.

If you ever met the dick responsible for this world, you'd agree.

If you love Kentucky Fried Chicken, and I make Kentucky Fried Chicken,

Impressive.

In 24 hours, this world, everyone you know,

In fact, a couple of days ago, I rode a centaur.

In fact, know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna use the skin in Free City 2.

In Free City, I have everything I need.

In love.

In pieces!

In the history of dumb deals, right?

In the one place no one can even get to.

In the whole, wide, whole world.

In two days, the game is gonna shut down. For good.

Including your digital boyfriend,

Inoperable!

Into a little bit of Thanos Snap?

IPs and sequels, that is the thing that people want.

Is quickly becoming the little indie that could.

Is that a swing set?

Is this the North Pole?

Isn't that what you said? You said that.

It does seem a little bit like an unlikely pairing, though.

It is a bad influence, and is bad for the franchise.

It just seems like that's something new, you know?

It was essentially the building blocks of the character.

It was just constant.

It will never work.

It'll explain everything.

It'll prove that Antwan used our code without properly licensing it.

It's a chance for our work to be seen by a wider audience.

It's a Henley. Was that cool? It felt really cool.

It's a little preachy in parts but, over all, it's pretty good.

It's a strictly observational experience

It's a video game. And that's all it is.

It's a whole new world over there.

It's all a lie!

It's all gonna disappear for good.

It's all of these, but hold on. I'm trying to wrap my head around this.

It's always, sort of, been there.

It's amazing.

It's been the best day of my life.

It's bubble gum flavour.

It's crime o'cl

It's crime o'cl Mum!