Despicable Me 3 Edit

A dumpling like me with a goddess like you.

A failure.

Able to withstand a nuclear blast.

After all of these years, finally I'm meeting you!

Agnes thinks she's gonna find a real unicorn in the woods tomorrow.

Agnes, what are you doing?

AGNES: He helps you if you have nightmares.

AGNES: Mmm!

AGNES: This is the best!

AGNES: Um...

AGNES: Unicorns, here we come.

AGNES:Hap! (ALLSCREAM)

Agreement? What are you talking about?

Ah, good to know.

Ah, I guess so.

Ah, it's like the Sistine Chapel! But with pigs.

Ah, okay.

Ah, yes. Of course, Miss Edith.

Ah! How did you find out? Who told you?

Ah! What's for dinner? I probably won't like it.

Ahh!

Ahh! Hey!

All done! (PANTING)

All right, lady, that's it!

All right!

All right. We're getting close.

ALL: (SINGING) Happy birthday to you

ALL: (SINGING) Say, say, say cheese!

ALL: (SINGING) Say, say, say cheese!

ALL: Aw!

ALL: Yay! Awesome!

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Fritz.

ALPHA TEAM LEADER: Copy that Alpha Team in approach.

ALPHA TEAM LEADER: Freeze! Don't move!

Alpha Team, the diamond is secure. Come and pick up the package.

Already? Just a couple more hours.

Also featuring bubblegum launching shoulder pads!

Although, I don't know if I'd say "loser," per se.

Am I right? (CHUCKLES)

Amen.

And all of the hair, with the silky smooth, luxurious hair.

And all the losers who rejected me!

And another thing!

And be buried with onions.

And Bratt quickly plunged into a downward spiral,

And clearly, I've still got it!

And cover your mouth!

And criminal mastermind bent on world domination.

And do you really wanna do that?

And he'll use his magical powers to help me do math.

And he's really good to snuggle with.

And here she is! The fearless unicorn hunter seeking...

And I am inquiring on behalf of your twin brother, Dru.

And I am this close to bringing him in.

And I didn't have time to go to the gym this week,

And I don't have any brother. You got the wrong guy.

And I don't know. Maybe...

And I had a big breakfast. And was feeling a little bloated.

And I promise, you do not wanna mess with me.

And I'm Dru! We switched places!

And I'm gonna find one! (GROANING)

And I'm pure in heart, right?

And it makes me wanna put you into my pocket.

And it was so humiliating, dangling there in the bubble gum Speedo.

And it's a hybrid. Look out!

And it's not just that he got away,

And let's not go over to Katie's house anymore.

And Margo. Oh, you are so mature!

And me, Dru.

And meat.

And now you've got the chance to get back on top.

And now, it's time to die.

And now, it's your turn to shine, my diamond!

And now, to put this where it belongs.

And please bless that when I find the unicorn

And promised never to see each other again.

And tell them the good news!

And that diamond will make us the richest,

And that I can ride him to school every day.

And the all new Mega Diamond Laser!

And the best part is, you'll never...

And the number one show on TV was...

And you must wait?

And you told me that Dad died of disappointment when I was born.

And you were always such a gentleman. You did it!

And you, Hollywood!

And you're gonna stop now though, right?

ANNOUNCER: Now you can be as evil as Balthazar Bratt

ANNOUNCER: The Mega Diamond Laser does not actually incinerate books.

ANNOUNCER: This week on Evil Bratt...

Any last words, Gru?

Are we gonna die? Are we gonna die?

Are you?

Armed to the teeth.

As I look out over all your faces,

At least I had a job.

At the AVL anymore.

Aw, look at that poor little guy. With his little boots.

Aw!

Aw! Oh, man!

Bait! Duh.

Balthazar Bratt.

BALTHAZAR: (CHUCKLES) Look at what we have here.

BALTHAZAR: Look at it, Clive. It's beautiful!

BALTHAZAR: Once again, I win and Gru loses!

BALTHAZAR". Look at that laser go.

Barn! I am a great mother! (CHUCKLES)

Beautiful? Oh! (CHUCKLES)

Becauseifyou mess with Margo, you mess with me!

Become Gru again. How awesome would that be?

Blah, blah, blah! We understand.

Blast it! The Dumont Diamond is on that ship.

Bonus!

BOTH: My brother!

Boy? Ugh!

Boys, time for bed!

Bratt has the girls!

Bratt Pack, go get that barf bag. (CLIVE LAUGHS)

Bratt was the biggest child actor of the 1980s,

Bratt! Bratt at nine o'clock... No! Three o'clock!

Bratt! He took the girls!

Bravo! Bra vissimo!

Brother,

Brother! I am hugging you! (GRUNTING)

Buddy, you're not getting the hint.

Buh bye, Wonder Twins.

But a piece of cake for us, right, brother?

But being one in real life is even better.

But don't worry.

But he didn't get the diamond.

But he's just a goat. (GOAT BLEATS)

But he's your brother, Gru. Give this a chance.

But I made it for you. Oh.

But I promise, I will never forget you, Margo.

But I really must have a word with you.

But I shouldn't have...

But I'm telling you, I saw one once.

But me, eh, not so much.

But now I'll never get the chance,

But now, you can help me prove him wrong!

But our life of crime is over!

But the man said a maiden could find one if she was pure in heart.

But this place is armed with some of

But you're too much of a wimp to handle it.

But, but, he has one horn. (SNIFFS)

But, what is...

But, you know,

By The!

Bye! You boys have fun!

Bye. Bye, Niko.

Call for backup!

Can I count on you?

Can we go in there? Please, please, please!

Can we stop talking now? I need to get to sleep.

Can you do it?

Can you get the rest of the suitcases?

Catch up on some brother stuff,

CELEBRITY: No! No!

Change of plans, girls.

Cheese! I love this.

Chew on this!

Ciao, boys.

CLIVE: (SCREAMS) It's Gru! (ALARM BEEPING)

Come on, girls. Let's go!

Come on!

Come on! (YELPS)

Come on! Come on!

Come on! Let's make it a reality!

Come on! This is gonna be fun!

Come on. This way.

Coming.

Coming.

Cops! (CLAMORING)

Crushing it.

Curse you, Gun (GROANS)

Curse you!

Dad's lair!

Dad's villain suits! This will make us unstoppable!

Dad's villain wheels!

Dance fight!

Dance fight.

Dave! Jerry! (CHUCKLING)

Did you actually think I was unconscious?

Did you pet it? Did it smell like candy?

Did you see that, Clive? All gone. (CLIVE BEEPS)

Did you see that, girls? I laid down the...

Do ya?

Do you know how hard it is

Do you understand me?

Does no one value true art anymore?

Doing nothing, touching nothing

Dolls.

Don't really

Don't take that tone with me! We're not going back to villainy.

Dru, the getaway driver is the most crucial part of any plan.

DRU: Look out! (YELLS)

DRU: Okay, what do I do? Should I wait in the vent?

DRU: The pig farm was just a cover for the real family business.

Dru!

Dru!

Dru! Dru!

Dru? Dru?

Dru...

DRUI Gru.

DRUI I did!

Each“. Other's...

Edith, stop it!

EDITH; Whoa!

EDITH: Lucy! Lucy! MARGO: We're up here!

EDITH: Oh, my gosh! He's even got a helicopter!

Edith! I can tell that you are a little mischievous.

Effective immediately.

Eh, maybe a little. (CHUCKLES)

Eh? (ALL SCREAM)

Enjoy the show, girls.

Especially with Dr. Nefario accidentally freezing himself in carbcnite.

Even better ones. (SCOFFS)

Evil Bratt was a masterpiece!

Evil Bratt!

Ew! (GRUNTS)

Excuse me, Mr. Gru,

Excuse me, this is my last...

Excuse me.

Excuse me. (BOTH SOBBING)

Explore that part of the woods. (CHUCKLES)

Eyebrows! Ow! (G RU NTS)

Face it, Gru. Villainy is in your blood.

Featuring music activated breakdance mode.

Fine.

Fine.

First order of business, (CLEARS THROAT)

Fist bump for mischievous behavior!

For real?

For real.

For some reason.

Forever.

Fritz, my good fellow, could you get me another napkin, please?

FRITZ: Ow! Ow! Seriously?

FRITZ: Please, come in.

From now on, every move must be made

Gah! Edna,hey! Looking hot today.

Game over! (LAUGHING)

Get 'em! Go! Go!

Get ready for...

Get ready, Bratt.

Get ready!

Get your mojo back.

Gettin' my sea legs, matey! (AGNES SCREAMS)

GIRL: Are you okay?

Girls, don't worry. I'm here.

GIRLS: Aloha!

GIRLS: Freedonia! Freedonia! Freedonia!

Give it! (GRUNTS) Ow!

Give it! (STRAINS) No!

Give me back my diamond!

Gm'?

Go away! I don't wanna talk to you.

Go get him, Gru Gru!

Go take a bite of his cheese, young lady.

Go, go, go!

Go!

Go! Go! Go...

Go!Go!Go! (GRUNTS) Go! Go!

Goal!

Goes into the Crooked Forest,

Good night, Gru.

Good night, Lucy.

Good night, sweetie.

Good night!

Good soup! I love the combination

Good. Now get!

Goodbye! (SQUEALS)

Got cats on you.

Got it!

Got it. (GRUNTS)

Great news, guys. You have been promoted.

Gru, you've got to let this go.

GRU: (SHUSHES) Over here.

GRU: Covered with enough poison to blow your mind.

GRU: Focus!

GRU: Guys! Shh! I don't think you heard me right.

GRU: Ha ha!

GRU: Hmm.

GRU: Huh.

GRU: Looks like it's right above us.

GRU: No, come with me.

GRU: No, no, no! (BOTH SCREAMING)

GRU: No! Kyle!

GRU: Oh, oh, oh! Look out! (YELPING)

GRU: Ow! (GRUNTS)

GRU: This pig has issues!

GRU: Total burn.

GRU: Wait! What are you doing?

GRU: What is that?

GRU: What... What is happening?

GRU: You did! (BOTHLAUGH)

Gru! I found a unicorn!

Gru? There's two of you now?

GUARD 1: Hey, you! Freeze! Don't move!

GUARD 2: Hands in the air!

Gum one, gum all!

Gum!

Guys, listen to me! Read my lips!

GYM!

GYM!

GYM!

H (SPITS) “h!

Ha ha!

Ha ha! Follow me.

Ha!

Halt!

Hang on, girls! I've got you!

Hang on!

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to...

Happy birthday, dear Dan

He needs your help.

He never thought I had what it took to be a villain.

He seems to think you're engaged. (CHUCKLES)

He was concerned that during the recent heist attempt,

He was known as the Bald Terror!

He was so proud of you. And what a great villain you were.

He would like to fly you to Freedonia to meet him.

He'll want to come home with me, and sleep in my room.

He's getting away!

He's getting away! (YELLING)

He's going to bubblegum the whole city and send it up into space!

He's on the left!

He's shooting his super sticky,

HeHo,n“/ schmoopsie poo. VVhoa,hey!

Heist music!

Hello, Gru.

Hello, Hollywood!

Hello, Margo!

Hello, mother of Margo. I am Niko.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Help me!

Here it comes.

Here we are, in the dark and creepy Crooked Forest

Here we are!

Hey, Clive. I guess you could say our plan was

Hey, could you...

Hey, eyebrows, get off the lawn.

Hey, girls! How are things in Row B, huh?

Hey, Gru.

Hey, guys. Hold on!

Hey, hey, relax. You're gonna be just fine.

Hey, hey! We discussed this.

Hey, I would have told you the truth.

Hey, I'm back on the job.

Hey, Mel. Welcome back.

Hey, mister, you are not a failure.

Hey, mullet head! Let us out!

Hey, there. I'm Margo.

Hey, where are Gru and Dru?

Hey, you wanna take her out for a spin? Just for some fun?

Hey, you, don't move!

Hey! Don't say anything you're going to regret.

Hey! Give that back!

Hey! Hey! Put the brakes on. What's the rush?

Hey! I thought we said no more villainy!

Hey! We did it!

Hey! What are you doing?

Hey. How you doing? (GROANS)

Hey. So, big day tomorrow.

Hi, Mom.

His security system can detect an air assault from any direction.

Hmm! I wonder what this does.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm...

Hold on! I'm coming.

Hold onto your face, brother.

Holy moley!

Home? Why?

Honey, he's my brother.

Honey, that's...

Honey, you didn't have to do that.

HOST: But it all came to an end in Season 3, when...

HOST: Leading us all to wonder,

HOST: The show starred young Balthazar Bratt as a child prodigy

HOST: The young star experienced an unexpected growth spurt.

How amazing does that look?

How cool would that be?

How could you let Balthazar Bratt,

How do you know my name?

How is my brother finding a wife like you

How is that heist music?

How is this possible? How?

How's your transition coming?

Huh! It's called acting, hosen

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? (BANGING CONTINUES)

Huh? (GASPS)

Huh. Interesting.

Hum(SCREAMS) (THUDS)

I already have! (LAUGHS)

I am flooded with so many memories.

I am going to enjoy this.

I am Niko.

I am not enjoying this.

I call the black one.

I can help. No,no,no.

I can totally do that.

I can't believe Bratt got away again.

I can't wait to meet my brother!

I can't! I'm slipping! (STRAINING)

I did exactly what the man said.

I don't even want to waste another breath about the guy.

I don't know. I guess I just feel like

I don't know. This guy with the mansion and the cars

I don't like it.

I don't think we can make it, Gru!

I feel worse than I did before I came.

I got second pick.

I got this in spite of you.

I got two whole dollars for it.

I got two words for you.

I got your back.

I have a brother!

I have him in my sights!

I hope I win.

I hope the girls are okay.

I hug everybody whether they like it or not.

I know how much you love your job.

I laugh a lot. And I'm kind of an idiot!

I left that life behind me. End of story.

I love it when a plan comes together.

I love surprises!

I make no promises. Love you!

I mean, you just walk through the doors and you're like...

I need to get to bed so I can wake up and find a unicorn!

I present you with pig to confirm

I put together some fun activities for the trip!

I shouldn't have eaten that pot pie.

I still don't see why I can't go with you.

I think we can handle it.

I understand.

I want every agent in the area on the scene immediately!

I wonder what Dru will be like. Ooh!

I'd better build a big pen, right?

I'll get the girls and start packing.

I'll just sit here and play solitaire.

I'll show you the plan!

I'll take this.

I'll tell you what. Nothing!

I'm a mom! (LAUGHS SOFTLY)

I'm a mom. (GASPS)

I'm being tougher, you know? Like you said.

I'm famous!

I'm going in. Take the wheel. (GROANS)

I'm gonna be impaled!

I'm gonna film it and get rich.

I'm gonna hold it in my mouth.

I'm gonna name you Lucky!

I'm guessing... Mmm... 15?

I'm looking for a Mr. Gru.

I'm not really into things.

I'm okay.

I'm scared!

I'm so embarrassed. I was very rude.

I'm so grumpy all the time. Hmm.

I'm so happy!

I'm so sorry, Gru.

I'm sorry, but my dad died when I was a baby,

I'm sure we'll get new jobs. Real soon.

I'm too big.

I'm... I'm sorry, sweetie...

I'm... I'm sorry.

I've been a bad boy!

I've been a bad boy!

I've been a bad boy!

I've been a bad boy!

I've been a bad boy!

I've been a bad boy!

I've got the girls. You two, go take care of Bratt.

I've got the perfect idea.

I've underestimated Bratt before. It's not going to be easy.

Idiots.

If only I could have nailed Bratt.

If, somehow, we actually find a unicorn,

Ihaveto.

Illuminat...

In search of the mythical unicorn.

In the dark. Alone.

Intruders! Intruders!

Intruders! Intruders! Intruders!

Is this what you're looking for?

It is he's so smug about it.

It is with great sadness that I inform you that, as of today,

It might not be good unicorn finding weather.

It was so fluffy,

It'll take more than that to stop me.

It's a disgrace and a travesty, sir.

It's a giant Evil Bratt robot!

It's a luau!

It's a scanning device. (SCANNER TRILLING)

It's a traditional Freedonian dance.

It's a unicorn!

It's considered impenetrable.

It's go time!

It's important to keep active in one's golden years.

It's just... (SIGHS)

It's like a castle!

It's me! Gru.

It's real, all right.

It's time to look forward.

Ithoughtyou were going to pee your pants.

Ja, ja. (STUTTERS) That was the agreement.

Jeesh!

Just QSt away?

Kind of is... (GASPS) (CELL PHCDNE RINGING)

Lam retiring as head of the AVL.

Lasefl

Laugh, laugh, all of you. (MIMICS LAUGHING)

Lesson learned.

Let me breathe in. (GRUNTING)

Let's do it! Woot woot!

Let's get him. Ugh.

Let's go! We're not safe yet.

Life is just like that sometimes.

Lights! Camera!

Like a total loser.

Like I don't have a purpose anymore.

Listen, Agnes, you don't need to worry. We're going to be fine.

Listen, brother. (SIGHS) About what I said...

Literally.

Llluminat...

Look at that face! I just want to squeezeit

Look at them! They had no idea!

Look at us! Two brothers pulling a heist!

Look, Agnes, maybe we're not...

Look, I know it's been a little tough lately.

Look, I'm sorry.

Look, if you guys don't stop right now, there will be consequences.

Look, Margo, I think we just need to... Oh.

Look, Niko, you seem like a very nice boy with a very nice pig.

Look! We got the diamond and we're going to...

Looks like Bratt was the only one

Love you, Mom.

Lucky is the best goat in the whole wide world!

Lucy, can we get these? Please.

Lucy, did you...

Lucy, over here! Help! Help us!

LUCY: (GASPS) Look!

LUCY: Gru! EDITH: Uncle Dru!

LUCY: It's coming from outside!

LUCY: Oh!

Lucy!

Ma'am? You're making me nervous.

Madame and Monsieur.

Mama's comin', girls.

MARGO: Gru! Girls!

MARGO: This is so cool! AGNES: Look at that!

May you and your daughter die a slow death

Maybe unicorns

Maybe we'll have the twin thing

Mel! Mel, you're with me on this, right?

Mel?

MINION: Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!

Minions! (SPEAKING MINIONESE)

Mmm!

Mmm! Do you think maybe I could find one, too?

Mmm! Looks too good to even eat.

Mmm.

Mmm. Yum.

Mmm...

Mmm...

Mom, do I have a twin brother?

Mommy!

Moms need to be tough.

Most powerful villains in the world!

My brother!

My engagement to your daughter. (SQUEALS)

My life is complete!

My little brain is going to explode!

My stomach feels all queasy.

My turn! (GRUNTS)

Never

Next time I see Bratt, I will moonwalk all over his stupid face!

Next. Ah...

Nice try, coppers! Chew on this!

No more math!

No way!

No wonder Dad thought you were such a failure.

No, I don't. (CHUCKLES) Get as many as you want. I don't care.

No, I'm the one...

No, please! (GASPS)

No, we can't!

No, you can't leave me here!

No, you don't! Yes, I do.

No,no,no, not just a villain.

No,no,no.

No,no,no. I can't do that.

No!

No!

No!

No! (LAUGHING)

No! I meant be tougher on them. Not me!

No! No way! We can't give the diamond back!

No! No!

No! That's my private part!

No.

Nobody curses my daughter! Ya got that?

Nobody messes with my brother!

Nobody picked him.

Nobody...

Nobody's gonna stop me

Not a good time.

Not it!

Now is not the time to mess with the plan.

Now, all we have to do is wait.

Now, as I was saying, I...

Now, come on, let's pack this stuff up.

Now, feast your eyes on

Now, that's entertainment!

Now, that's what I call acting.

Obviously, (CHUCKLING)

Of gummy bears

Of the world's foremost gem expert?

Oh, boy! This is a snooze fest!

Oh, come on, just do it. What's the worst that could happen?

Oh, don't worry, girls. I've prepared a front row seat for you.

Oh, don't worry. Parenting 101. I got this.

Oh, hello, Gru.

Oh, hi, Gru.

Oh, hi!

Oh, how's it going?

Oh, I didn't think you meant that literally.

Oh, I used to have one of these!

Oh, I was thinking, while Gru and I

Oh, I'm busting a gut!

Oh, I'm pretty sure I won't forget you either.

Oh, incoming!

Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong.

Oh, it's nice, I guess, sure.

Oh, it's so nice to see you two are getting along.

Oh, it's the girls!

Oh, it's too bad Gru won't be around to try and stop me.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, look, it's me, Gru!

Oh, look. We're here!

Oh, man, that was crazy!

Oh, Margo, why don't you go up there?

Oh, no, no, no. Agnes! Agnes!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, no! Don't worry.

Oh, no! Help!

Oh, no! No, no, no!

Oh, no! No,no,no.

Oh, no! Run!

Oh, no! The poison spikes!

Oh, no! The police!

Oh, no! Where are they?

Oh, nothing. Just thinking.

Oh, okay.

Oh, piggy, piggy!

Oh, please, come on. Just one heist.

Oh, right. Yep, yeah.

Oh, sure.

Oh, that would be me.

Oh, that's delightful. Not creepy at all.

Oh, that's hilarious. You should be on TV.

Oh, that's right. You were! But then you got canceled!

Oh, this is amazing!

Oh, this is perfect! Mother daughter bonding time.

Oh, uh, of course.

Oh, wait! No, it's not. I hate that dweeb!

Oh, we're getting... Along perfectly.

Oh, yeah? At least I didn't get fired from my job

Oh, yeah. Sure.

Oh, yes. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Oh, you know what? We should do something to celebrate!

Oh, you were right. I should have stayed in the boat.

Oh,ja.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Go get 'em, Bratt Pack!

Oh! Here we go. Niko... (GASPS)

Oh! I like it, but not a lot.

Oh! They say if a maiden pure of heart

Oh! Yay! Yay!

Oh.

Oh... Agnes? Edith?

Oh... What did I say? It's not "comquit"?

Okay

Okay, all right. I get it.

Okay, nice pig (GROANS)

Okay, Okay

Okay, take my hand.

Okay, this is Bratt's lair. It may not look like much,

Okay? It's not happening.

Okay. I understand.

Okay. We will definitely look into that.

Okay. What does it...

On! (CHUCKLES)

One of the greatest of all time!

Ooh, broke a little sweat, there. (CHUCKLES)

Ooh, did you take that guy down? Did anything explode?

Ooh, I know! You could gamble online!

Ooh, la la!

Ooh, look out!

Ooh, my whole life has been building to this moment.

Ooh, uh...

Ooh! (CHUCKLES)

Open fire!

Or should I say...

Ouch! (LAUGHS)

Out of this world!

Ow, ow, ow!

Ow!

Ow! Hey! Shh! Come on.

Ow! Ow! Please!

Pardon me, young people?

Pardon me! Out of the way! Good night, everybody!

Pigs!

Playing a villain on TV was fun,

Please, stop! Ouch!

Pretty slick, huh?

Psst! (SPEAKING GIBBERISH)

Quick, jump!

Quick! Camouflage mode.

Really? Well, then, how do you explain this?

Right now! What?

Right, brother?

Right, right. Tough. Good one.

Right. But it's over now, so...

See you tomorrow, brother.

Self inflating gum!

Sentences? Sentences?

Seriously, how did this show never win an Emmy?

She is the very gifted,

She's 12. She looks 12 and will always be 12.

Shortly after you and your brother were born,

Sir, the ship has been boarded by some kind of monster!

So (SNIFFLES) take good care of him.

So here's the plan. You're the getaway driver.

So many times, I almost had him.

So no villainy tonight, huh? Got it?

So we'll have to approach low and close to the water.

So, Dru, this place is amazing!

So, how are things going for you career wise?

So, how was work?

So, I'll climb up to the cube and enter here.