Horrible Bosses (2011) Edit

A couple of fatal accidents we're not even there for.

A dancin' girl

A man can't get any privacy around here.

A Popsicle.

A traffic cam caught this car fleeing the scene of a crime tonight.

A wire? We can do that. That's easy.

Actually, we did later that night when they booked us.

Ah, I love this. So festive.

Ah, that felt good.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. I think I can make out our little friend right there.

Ah. I'll see you Friday, dirty bird.

Ah. That's weirder. Poor child must have been terrified.

Ahh.

All right, I'm gonna put my penis in your pussy, Julia.

All right, let me try this. Look out.

All right, listen, get in here.

All right, look, pay for my drinks.

All right, okay. Let me think. Okay, here's what I'm thinking. Here's my idea.

All right, sit.

All right, take it easy. Call for an ambulance.

All right, today she starts spraying water at my crotch to see the outline of my dick.

All right, you guys are driving a hard bargain.

All right, you know what? You don't put a playground right next to a bar.

All right, you. Let's go say we pump you full of gas, huh?

All right.

All right.

All right. All right, here we go.

All right. Let's see if this thing's working. Oh!

All right. Where do you even find a pay phone these days?

All the way down.

Am I gonna have to give him all my money?

And besides, I'm the guy with the bullet in his leg.

And Dale?

And I might even You know, I might even cross the line a bit.

And I need you in the position you're in.

And I pride myself on being a professional.

And I respect the institution of marriage way too much to violate it.

And I slipped my fingers...

And I think once she gets a look at these...

And I took all of her money. And it was her week's pay.

And I'll dance on your boobies, and I'll jump up and down on your butt.

And I'll start picking.

And I'll tell you something. They don't miss shit.

And it would have been the perfectjob. If not for one...

And let me tell you something.

And look how hard you've been working.

And please be explicit.

And she died before I made it to the hospital.

And she said that now that we're engaged, she wanted to offer me free dental work.

And tell him to leave his handicap parking pass when he leaves.

And thanks to Stacy...

And that's how I got the name Motherfucker Jones.

And the only thing in my refrigerator is an old lime.

And this guy. Who happens to be working for Pellit Chemicals, the victim's company.

And we'll have to work at this every day, but I wanna do that because I want you.

And when I found out, you tried to kill me to shut me up.

And where are you gonna find a hit man?

And you do know that we just wanna start with a ?

Anyway, that's not the point. Point is...

Anyway, with Harken in his new position...

Are all three of you participating in this?

Are we even sure this guy's home?

Are you Dale?

Are you fucking this guy? What were you doing, waiting to fuck my wife?

Are you kidding me? We were being hypothetical.

Are you kidding? You can't change a plan like this

Are you playing this game?

Are you sure?

Are you telling me that I've driven all this way and nobody wants to get pissed on?

At first I was surveilling her, like I was asked to do.

Atmand Gregory, uh, play what he said.

Ay.

Beautiful.

Because he parked right in front of a tree. If I lean back, I can't see the house over there.

Because he realized that when you're the boss, sometimes people want you dead.

Because his dickbag of a boss wouldn't let him leave. Right?

Because I am engaged to be married and I love my fiancée, okay?

Because I don't see one shred of evidence that proves that I shot Pellit.

Because I know you sleep around on me.

Because if you so much as look at my sexy little ass, Julia...

Because she didn't take shit from anyone.

Because the closer we get to this date, the less ladylike I'm gonna feel about it.

Because they know everything. Cops are smart.

Because we're mixing pleasure with business. Business and pleasure.

Been in that position for eight years. Why would I stay after being treated like this?

Before this guy supposedly confessed?

Bet he carries a gun you screw together. Those are, like, the coolest guns they make.

Big scoop.

Bobby!

Bottoms up.

Boy, I have to get used to driving with this big, heavy ring on my finger.

Bullshit.

But according to this, you were two minutes late. So either you're a liar...

But all those people are just right outside.

But here's the thing:

But I don't care how bad our bosses are. We're not murderers.

But I needed you to work late because you are an invaluable member of this operation.

But I think, uh, even really saying the word "pussy" is

But I'm not sure I can even consider...

But it doesn't matter to you. You just wanna ride my ass because I'm your son.

But it will be next time, and if it is not...

But since we led the cops to Harken...

But that doesn't matter now, he's in the ground.

But that's why I asked him to help me frame you.

But the last thing that I wanna do is make you uncomfortable.

But the real reason I'm here is this guy:

But this time it wasn't my fault, I swear to God.

But, um, I don't know if it's a good idea, sweetie.

Bye, baby.

Calm down!

Can I come out now, please?

Can I use your toilet? I stored up rather a large amount of pee for this.

Can we give him a time out? For one second.

Can we move on? Let's talk about what happened to Pellit.

Can't believe we weren't prepared.

Chances are, he's not home. I haven't seen any activity in this house

Colander would be good.

Come in.

Come inside. Close that door. Hurry.

Come on, man!

Come on, what are you ?

Come on.

Come on. That's not nice, okay? Look, your problem's solved.

Come on. You know what? I'll hit the three of you at the same time.

Come on. You're thinking of Throw Momma From the Train.

Confront him like that.

Cool name. Yeah. Is that, like, on your birth certificate too?

Could be a kiwi. No way to tell.

Could that happen?

Could you do the, uh...?

Creating a finger web in front of your face. Is that ? Is that like a camouflage?

Cut him off. Second.

Dale, I'm gonna deal with you right here behind my knee.

Dale! Don't touch anything. Get your hands off that.

Dale? Dude, hold it. Last time the three of us did this, it was very messy.

Dale.

Damn right. I'm talking about Canada or Mexico.

Dave. Dave, what are you ? Honey?

Dean Jones. Same name of the actor in Herbie, the Love Bug.

Decision is yours. You can phone a friend, ask the audience, fifty fifty.

Details? I'm in a car with people. Now is not a good time for details.

Did I tell you that Harken tricked me into having a drink at 8:00 this morning?

Did you ever see that show Gossip Girl?

Did you just do the catchphrase?

Didn't even need a briefcase. It's a small stack.

Didn't think I had to punch a clock with you.

Didn't work out. We need your help.

Discreet. No children, no political figures."

Do I get your neck?

Do I look like I fucking care?

Do the math. One loses the job or three loses it.

Do you have a parking space? Because I'm gonna take it away from you.

Do you have MDMA? I'll suck your d

Do you hear the words you say sometimes? I mean, who talks like that?

Do you wanna explain why you were doing 61 in a 25 zone...

Do you want it in something specific, a shoebox, duffel bag?

Doesn't shower with it.

Don't call the cops. They're already after us.

Don't forget about that guy.

Don't judge. I have a thing with my boss. It's none of your business.

Don't say a word. I know, I know.

Don't walk around thinking you have free will because you don't.

Don't want this guy knowing where we live.

Drop the gun! On your knees!

Dude, I just met your wife. You want your thing back?

Eating them in that weird order? Not a proper meal.

Enough out of you already today. My dad...

EnviroTech Waste Management. It's costing us a lot of money.

Even if you pull it off perfectly...

Evens are over here.

Everybody was kung fu fighting

Everybody was kung fu fighting

Everyone knows the movie. That's not the point. You tricked us, Motherfuck

Exactly. Five thousand dollars well spent, right?

Excavator.

Excuse me? Officers?

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Da da da.

Failed brakes, gas leaks, suicide.

Fine. So you took the penis foods as an invitation to fuck her.

Finger flage. It's called finger flage.

Finger flage. This is actually a pretty damn good idea, dude.

Five forty with the briefcase.

Five thousand forty with the briefcase.

For an extra hundred, I'll let you guys pool your mayonnaise...

For months you've been hinting I was in line for that promotion.

Forty bucks a piece. We'll do it right here in the bathroom.

Four stars wrapped around your stick, pop the thumb, nick the top. Nick the top.

Frankly, I always thought it was, uh, weird, it was gay.

From now on, I'm gonna call you Ahmenan.

From what I hear, people say he's the nicest guy in the world.

Fuck me.

Fuck that. The Bolivians are gonna do it for a third of the price.

Fuck this. I'm out. I don't need this job. So goodbye, I'm quitting. I'm done.

Fuck, me too.

Fucker!

Gentlemen, ahem, we are free men.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, what are you talking about?

Get down, get down. Hey, hey! Get off of her.

Get him fucking home.

Get him to confess to the murder while you're wearing a wire.

Get off me! Come on, hey!

Get on the couch. Stop helping.

Get out of the car, all of you. Come on. Come on.

Get out.

Get out.

Get something to Ugh. I'll scoop it in.

Getting locked out of the car is bullshit, man.

Give it to me.

Give me that again.

Give me that.

Glad none of us know who the shooter is.

Go backwards. Go backwards. See? They found your poop brush.

God, he would have drenched us.

God, that hurts so much.

Goddamn it! God, I hate that!

Goddamn you! That's it, okay? You know what? That's crossing the line.

Going to school, changing fields, starting from the bottom. Who wants to do that?

Gonna put that "briefcabe" up my ass.

Good evening, Mr. Buckman.

Good movie. That's what you're thinking about.

Good Will Hunting rip. Instead of saying "apples" he said "nipples."

Good.

Good. Friday. See you Friday.

Got some extra, maybe throw my way?

Gotta be from a pay phone, though, so it's not traced back to us.

Gotta be smart. Find out where they live, find out their habits. What's their hobbies?

Gregory, I thought you were our fucking friend, man!

Guess who.

Ha, ha. Yeah, not a model.

Handies for the Three Musketeers.

Hang on a second, something doesn't stack up quite right with this, all right?

Hang on, you guys already went ahead and found someone and he's coming here?

Hang on. Wouldn't it be awful if it was traceable back to us?

Harken is allergic to peanuts and Pellit's got a huge stash of cocaine.

Harken.

Harken's in jail, Pellit's in hell, Julia's had the crazy fucked out of her...

Have a nice day. Good day to you.

Have you any, uh, roofies?

Have you ever in your life seen this much co ?

Have you ever seen this much cocaine?

He charges so much we can't afford it, gets pissed, kills us.

He confessed everything, now he's getting his gun.

He creeps me out, rolling around all day in his special secret chair.

He did say 10:00, right?

He doesn't work here because he had a horrible accident in our warehouse.

He had a heart attack.

He had a little allergy shot on him and I

He had an allergic reaction to some peanuts and I rescued him, know what I mean?

He is, definitely. That's why he's being extra evil.

He loves me and I love him. Everybody loves him.

He might be looking for your brother now, you know.

He said he shot him twice...

He shot him? Wait, what's going on? I don't understand. He shot him?

He won't know who that is.

He's a total fucking asshole.

He's at Pellit's? Why?

He's covered us this far, right? Five grand?

He's gone off on his own. This is our chance.

He's just gonna fire everybody.

He's just signing for these packages. Thank you.

He's not a monster. He's a great guy who worked for us for many, many years.

He's right here in this room.

Hello, lover.

Hello.

Here we go.

Here's what I don't understand.

Here's what we'll do. In the event that Harken is not here, just me and Kurt go in.

Hey, are you gonna slap me in the face with your cock, Dale?

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey! Come here!

Hey, schmuckface.

Hey, take this. I don't want it. I want my hands free.

Hey, uh, does anyone here kill people for money?

Hey! Come on, man. I thought I told you to stay out of here.

Hey! What are you guys doing?

Hey.

Hey. I'm outside. You ready to do a little recon?

Hi, can I help you?

Hi. Who are you?

Hit the button. Hit the button.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hold on.

Hold that thought, I'm missing my friend Kurt.

Holy shit. Did you guys see me out there?

Holy shit. He went out the door.

Holy shit. Pellit opened up the door, Harken shot him in the chest...

Honey, you should be thanking this young man. Why are you being so suspicious?

Hospital bills, Larry Murinsky.

Hour later we find the car. You happened to be hanging with this freaky motherfucker.

How about I give you guys some hand jobs?

How about I go in my house and I get my ?

How about you go fuck yourself? No refunds.

How cool was that?

How do people let you work on their teeth?

How do you get Gregory from that?

How may I be of service this evening?

How you feeling, you good?

How you got this fucking job, I don't even understand.

How you like them nipples?

How'd you get the name Motherfucker?

How's the hair? Is it good, is it great? It's not as bad as his, is it?

However, I will only be taking 85 percent of the additional salary I am entitled to...

Hypothetically, if we could do it and none of us get caught, would you guys do it?

I accidentally inhaled some cocaine.

I actually meant to call your home phone.

I admit it.

I always gave the same answer.

I appreciate the opportunity you've given me. I won't let you down.

I bet you're no shrimp in the cock department, huh, there, Dale?

I broke a rock.

I can crush you any time I want.

I can't even get a job waiting tables.

I can't get another job.

I can't live in Mexico. I mean, I can't handle the food.

I can't tape this to my chest. I have hair on chest.

I can't wait to hear this.

I can't walk around in this fucking neighborhood with that Disney ass name.

I cannot believe I let you talk me into this whole thing. I cannot believe it.

I cannot believe my wife invited you.

I could direct you to a neighborhood...

I didn't know it was your birthday. What's he doing?

I didn't make it in.

I didn't mean to. It was more of a saying. "Might have been a minute late."

I didn't realize I had to tell you every time I wanna take a dump.

I didn't sign that form, by the way, so she has to come back.

I do my part. I do other people's parts.

I don't care if the wind blew it out of your twat.

I don't even know your names.

I don't get it, man. On TV, surveillance always looks fun, right?

I don't have it all figured out. I got some of it figured out.

I don't have money for a lawyer. I bought a very expensive ring I can't afford...

I don't know what that means.

I don't know what you're doing with your hand.

I don't know why you're mad at the car. I don't think we should get hostile now.

I don't know. He's walking right up to the front door.

I don't know. Maybe you're right. It is a little hard to imagine killing her now.

I don't really have a good angle from here because there's that tree.

I don't understand why you guys don't quit.

I don't want an assassin in my apartment.

I don't want my money going to support monsters.

I don't win a lot.

I feel like everything'll work out. I'm like a machine. Look how fast I am.

I feel the intel

I feel we should've got a cheese plate for this guy.

I fingered myself so hard to that Penn Badgley guy, I broke a nail.

I followed you into a house after you broke into it.

I found out they murdered someone. They tried to shut me up.

I freaked out and panicked, got out of there.

I get to work before the sun comes up and I leave long after it's gone down.

I got a better idea. I'm gonna tell the cops that you killed Pellit.

I got his contacts, schedule. Weird pictures of him doing awesome shit.

I got it, I got it.

I got it.

I got six bullets in this gun.

I got six bullets in this gun.

I got this whole thing figured out.

I got you. First thing first, we gotta handle business.

I gotta get out of here before somebody sees me. Meet me at the bar. I'll call Kurt.

I gotta go. But listen, if you guys change your mind...

I guess we'll be miserable for the rest of our lives? That's the deal?

I had no idea that you called your grandmother "Gam Gam."

I had no idea that you called your grandmother "Gam Gam."

I hate that angle.

I have a job, you know? What's that, surveillance and recon?

I haven't had sex in six months with someone other than myself.

I just got back from doing a dime for some real nasty shit.

I just make a lot less money.

I just want you all to know that I am just as shocked and angered as you all are.

I killed Pellit.

I know that sounds weird.

I know you can do better than that.

I know, but sometimes on some streets evens are on the opposite side.

I know. I've been thinking the same thing.

I know. That was before Julia tried to fuck me on top of Stacy's unconscious body.

I know. You don't have to announce that to the world.

I like the way you think. Move.

I liked it.

I love my job.

I love you so much.

I love you too.

I loved working for him, you know? It was, like, awesome.

I mean, I don't know. What happened?

I mean, I jabbed him with that, but I was just saving his life.

I mean, I work for the Antichrist.

I mean, it's just not professional. You know?

I mean, look, we're all part of the same team here.

I might throw up a couple times in the toilet here, but then I'll meet you there.

I need a shower.

I never murdered anybody.

I never said that.

I own you.

I pay 19 bucks a month for this fucking service.

I really don't wanna touch it. I don't have sleeve gloves.

I saved you with your thingy. It was incredible.

I see there's an Applebee's three blocks from your location.

I should kill Harken for not letting me say goodbye to Gam Gam?

I should mention that it is Nav Guide policy...

I smell alcohol.

I think he said he pisses on dudes.

I think he's definitely out.

I think he's okay! I hit him with this. Do you know him?

I think we got him. Ha, ha. We got him good.

I think what happened, ahem, was that the wind blew it out of my hand.

I told you I needed to see her because she was very sick.

I told you, these guys are liars. They cannot be trusted.

I urinate on other men for money.

I walked right up to his door, I put a gun in his chest and I shot him.

I want a lollipop. Do you like karaoke?

I want all of you forever, you and me, every day

I want you to give me details, you pussy.

I wanted to be a husband.

I was drag racing.

I was just speaking hypothetically, you know.

I was just trying to be polite.

I was making love. I was making love to a woman.

I was making the high six figures, and now, ha, I can't even pay for this fucking drink.

I was taking a piss at night, there were no kids.

I was thinking perhaps we could drill the patient first.

I was thinking that. On account of the dust.

I wasn't stabbing anyone.

I watched an episode last night.

I will alert the authorities and direct them to your location.

I will find out if there are.

I will go up and down on you...

I will. I think I will.

I work for this guy, David Harken...

I work with your husband. We're late.

I would fucking murder those Lehman Brothers if I could.

I'd get ****d just as much as you would, Kurt.

I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the 50 states.

I'll be at my mom's.

I'll be back in a jiffy.

I'll be down in three minutes.

I'll be in the car.

I'll be right there, Mr. Harken.

I'll break through the wall of the office that would have been the Senior VP's...

I'll dance on your boobies, and jump up and down on your butt.

I'll just attribute this to your drinking problem.

I'll stake her out tomorrow and get to the bottom of it.

I'll stop bringing it up.

I'll tell you what though.

I'm a pharmacist, not a doctor.

I'm a sucker. Harken wasn't gonna promote me.

I'm afraid our listings are not organized by danger, sir.

I'm always curious about these things, but is your real name Gregory?

I'm an account manager at a chemical company. I'll tell you, the job has its perks.

I'm coked out of my fucking brain. I'll punch whoever the fuck I want to.

I'm doing Pellit, you're gonna do Harken, and you'll get some intel from Julia, right?

I'm done with this conversation. You're paying for dinner because you've upset me.

I'm feeling good, dude. Wanna help me clean?

I'm getting a call. I gotta get this. Hello?

I'm going to take a very nice, very expensive...

I'm gonna be your murder consultant.

I'm gonna call you Gregory, that name's a nightmare.

I'm gonna give you a call tomorrow, I'm gonna tell you where to meet me.

I'm gonna go to Julia's house, maybe I'll slash her up...

I'm gonna hit you again, okay?

I'm gonna make you feel good. You know?

I'm gonna need you to follow us to the station.

I'm gonna put my stuff down.

I'm gonna tell her you fucked me.

I'm having my teeth whitened Tuesday. You have to get your work done by Monday...

I'm in. Let's kill this bitch!

I'm just trying to get you to do your part, son. It's not easy times.

I'm Kurt, by the way. I didn't get a chance to introduce myself at the door.

I'm moving super fast. I can't even feel my nose.

I'm not a murderer.

I'm not gonna argue. Let's continue the recon.

I'm not gonna play by their rules anymore.

I'm not gonna run anything by you. Dickhead.

I'm not playing with you.

I'm not toying with you. I'm gonna take care of it. I'm gonna take care of it.

I'm on the registered sex offender list, yes.

I'm pushing on it. Okay.

I'm so sorry, but I couldn't keep it together! It's amazing!

I'm sorry I hit you! Get the wheel.

I'm sorry you didn't get to say bye bye to Gam Gam.

I'm sorry, but, uh....

I'm sorry, guys. Didn't make it in.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. You are one cold, heartless bastard, Buckman.

I'm sort of tired of you toying with my emotions.

I'm sure you would, but there's none because that would be stupid of us.

I'm the opposite of gay. Now, come on. What do you say?

I'm this close to getting a big promotion with my own office.

I'm your boss. And there's gonna be some changes around here.

I've been looking for work for the last two years.

I've been looking through the books. You're the accountant. Tell me...

I've been waiting to get in there for a while.

I've decided to absorb the responsibilities...

I've just learned that Kurt has fired our dear friend Hank here.

I've realized if you wanna get something done right, you gotta do it yourself.

If he has his way, he's gonna end up killing thousands of innocent Bolivians.

If he knew who the shooter was and didn't tell us...

If Nick and I were in prison, who do you think would get ****d more?

If one evil person dies for the greater good, so be it.

If one of us knew, you know, who the shooter was...

If that's the case, I'm gonna have to fire Thomas, our longtime security coordinator.

If the worst thing about this job is having to tolerate my boss's...

If there's anything I can do to help out before the baby gets here, let me know.

If you ask me, anyone who hates theirjob has no one to blame but themself.

If you could get to the end...?

If you don't fuck me, I'm gonna tell her that you fucked me.

If you kill two, could we get the third one hold the cheese?

In a Prius?

In and out, in and out. We'll find something good, and we're in and out of here.

In five seconds, your heart gonna be in the wrong place.

In front of her window with the lights on.

In my office, now.

In the butt you go, go, go.

In the butt you go, go, go.

In the flesh, boys. In the flesh.

In you go.

Is that my brain? Take my temperature.

Is that what you think?

Is the briefcase coming out of your end?

It ain't my bag. I thought it was a little bit weird...

It could work. An anonymous tip, that's not bad.

It hurts. It hurts so much.

It is his boss. I mean, he's the one who's going to get recognized.

It is now.

It is standard Nav Guide protocol...

It probably would be Nick.

It was a pretty big investment so I should be the one who does the tape recording.

It was an empty playground in the middle of the night.

It was some nasty shit, but does that mean I murdered somebody?

It wasn't cool at all. We come out to gather information...

It's 8:15 a.m.

It's 18 year old Scotch.

It's a good kind of panic because I feel like I wanna die...

It's a greatjob, I got a solid raise and I'm actually my own boss.

It's about weakness and vulnerability. It's not a looks thing.

It's amazing. Come here and help me with this.

It's cold to hot.

It's easy for someone to think Pellit got a bad batch of cocaine.

It's funny how he gets all over my ass if I'm a minute late, but then he makes us wait 15.

It's gonna be really hard.

It's like we stepped inside the mind of an asshole.

It's like you don't care about this company at all.

It's no negotiations. Thirty large or nothing.

It's not like we're gonna actually kill our bosses.

It's not murder if it's justified. Justifiable homicide, right?

Jab it in your chest. Okay. I got you, dude. Ready?

Jack Pellit, my boss. The sweetest man I know.

Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, Harken just shot Pellit.

Jesus, Dale. It's a murder, not a cocktail party.

Jesus, how many cats do they have?

Jesus.

Jesus. Where does this guy get the energy?

JONES:...into her purse. Purse? He said "purse."

Julia is ruining your life, you know? That's wrong.

Julia, I'm not gonna sleep with you.

Julia, shut the fuck up for a second, all right?

Julia, this is my good friend, Kenny Sommerfeld.

Julia, you needed to see me? Oh, shit.

Julia.

Julia's the only one who'd hire me. Are you registered sex offenders?

Just Just waiting.

Just a cat. We're all right. Let's look upstairs. Come on.

Just I'm waiting for, you know, Pellit to sleep or leave or....

Just put it in your pocket. Not gonna tape it to his chest.

Just recon, now, okay?

Just relax there, Jodie Foster.

Just roll up your window. Please, I can't I can't

Just take one quick look around, make sure.

Just you wait.

Kenny Sommerfeld, you were voted "Most Likely to Succeed," weren't you?

Kenny, I had no idea it was that bad, buddy.

Knock a little louder?

Know who thinks you're a pussy? My friend Kurt. Let me grab him.

Kurt. Dead men.

Kurt's DNA's all over the apartment because he shoved a toothbrush up his ass.

Law & Order, okay? You can learn stuff watching Law & Order.

Let me tell you something, you stupid little runt.

Let's

Let's call it a honeymoon, all right? And you are gonna pay for it.

Let's do it. Let's do it.

Let's do this, guys. Feeling good.

Let's follow a strange guy into a dark corner.

Let's go in there. Let's go. Let's do it.

Let's go.

Let's go. Come on. Dale.

Let's have sex on top of her. Let's use her like a bed.

Let's just look for an address book or a day planner or something. You know?

Life is a marathon, and you cannot win a marathon...

Like a real cat burglar.

Line them up, and I would put one bullet through the three of their heads.

Listen to us for one second. He confessed to killing Pellit.

Listen, $5000 is mine. I don't care what you say.

Listen, if you think we're gonna believe that this is all just a big coincidence...

Literally, uh, truthfully, was two minutes late.

Look at me. I know what I'm doing down there. Nobody will ever know.

Look at this place. It's awful. It's like a douchebag museum.

Look at this.

Look, careful.

Look, Dale, you know, I know that I like to fool around at work. Right?

Look, I know you and my dad were pals.

Look, I know you really hate Harken but...

Look, I wasn't thinking, okay? I'm sorry.

Look, I'm really kind of not in the mood for this.

Look, if you want a promotion, you gotta earn it.

Look, sweetie, everybody's here.

Look, that is not what we talked about, Motherfucker.

Look, you don't go into a bar and hand a guy $5000 just because he black.

Looking for a bar filled with criminals. Lowlife thugs, hard core shitheads.

Looks like I'm getting that promotion after all. Yeah.

Looks like it's all there.

Looks pretty quiet, yeah?

Make up your fucking mind. It's like

Man, I can't go to jail. Look at me. I'll get ****d like crazy.

Man, I'm a small business owner. Who the hell you calling disenfranchised?

Margie's waiting. You nearly done in there?

May have been a minute late.

Maybe don't quit your job.

Maybe I should have been dancing on her boobs, huh?

Maybe that excuse would have flown when my dad was here, but I'm in charge now.

Maybe we can find a way in upstairs.

Maybe we should get three chairs and all spin around at the same time.

Maybe you should have.

Me too.

Meanwhile, she's fucking every guy in the neighborhood.

Meanwhile, the Pellit family put the most senior person in charge of the company...

Mm hm.

Mm hm.

Mm hm.

Mm mm.

Mm.

Morning, everyone. So I have finally decided...

Most boys wanna be firehouse chiefs or personal trainers...

Most killers are first timers.

Most Likely to Succeed.

Most people.

Motherfucker Jones.

Mr. Motherfucker, please, don't shoot us. Let's just talk it out.

Mr. Sherman, I'm hungry!

Mr. Sherman, I'm sorry your coffee was cold.

My boss was murdered?

My digestion alone I'll probably die.

My dong?

My grandmother came to this country with $20 in her pocket.

My heart's in the right place.

My man.

My man.

My real name is Dean.

My, uh, stomach was bothering me. Had to use the bathroom.

Need me to tell you when I pee pee?

n****es say "fuckah."

Never have and they never will. There it is, 428.

Never.

Next thing, she starts deliberately undressing.

Nice job fucking the crazy out of her, Kurt!

Nick didn't tell me his boss was married to a model.

Nick, come on.

Nick, it's 8:15 in the morning. I'm not an alcoholic.

Nick! Nick, Nick, talk to me. Nick, what's happening?

Nick? Say something. Nick, say something.

Nick.

Nick.

Nine.

No fucking shit I don't care about this company. This is just an ATM to me.

No way, Motherfucker. No.

No, because they're gonna want my letter of recommendation, right?

No, goofball.

No, Gregory, they think we murdered someone, all right? Do not call the cops.

No, I think I've waited long enough, Dale.

No, it's not a race thing.

No, Margie's not fat, she's pregnant. I'm not gonna fire her.

No, Nick, motivating.

No, no, no. You're disgusting. Go home. I don't want you getting anyone else sick.

No, no, they don't suspect him.

No, no. God, no. I took her invitation to fuck her as an invitation to fuck her.

No, no. Of course not, no. Let's move past that.

No, of course not. No, I wanted to open it.

No.

No.

No. Goddamn it.

No. He would be entitled to some jail time.

No. I Who you calling?

No. I dreamed of being on a beach with a model serving me tropical drinks.

No. No!

No. Nothing's gonna jump out. I'm just a FedEx girl.

No. We just brought you in for questioning.

Nobody fucks my wife!

Nobody's doing that, you're gonna love it. You two, I'm gonna rock you.

Nordic style. You know what they're saying right now?

Not a very good negotiator.

Not good. Get us out of here! Get us out of here!

Not in the mood for what?

Not in the office. This is bad.

Not Motherfucker. Motherfuckah. White people say "er."

Not naked, Dale.

Not really my style.

Not yet.

Nothing for you?

Nothing. But before we go, I wanna take one more dump.

Nothing's happening behind your back. Trust me."

Now his shitbag son's gonna be in charge and it's like

Now I'm sneezing dust bunnies. Is that diabetes?

Now, before we go any further...

Now, here's what's gonna happen, okay?

Now, I always admired dentists.

Now, I heard you moved to New York, you're working at Lehman Brothers.

Now, I know you've been working your tail off for that promotion.

Now, Kenny here, he'll do just about anything for 50 bucks.

Now, what do I keep saying?

Of course, he's my husband. Sweetie? Honey? Sweetheart, are you okay?

Officer.

Oh, and by the way, I still will want my $200.

Oh, boy, that's gonna get me done.

Oh, boy. That's five grand worth, huh?

Oh, boy. What people?

Oh, gosh, do I wish I could have sex with Julia.

Oh, here's an idea.

Oh, I blew it. I blew that, didn't I?

Oh, I give a fuck some tribesman gets cancer. Cry me a fucking river.

Oh, I got it! What do I do? What do I do?

Oh, Kenny.

Oh, my God, sweetie. He saved your life.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I cannot believe how much this sucks.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry, man. I know you guys were close.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, no. I should do this.

Oh, no. What?

Oh, peanuts.

Oh, please. Come on, Stacy, it's my pleasure.

Oh, shit, the brakes. I'm sorry, buddy. I'm sorry. Don't punch the driver, Dale!

Oh, shit! It's a tape recorder!

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shut up about the briefcase.

Oh, sweetie, I am just so grateful that he was here. You could have died.

Oh, there she goes.

Oh, Toyota.

Oh, we should hide. Everybody, come on in.

Oh, what are you doing here?

Oh, why not?

Oh, wow. What were you doing at his house, Nick? Why were you there?

Oh, yeah, I guess that's a good point. Maybe the mall.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you want one?

Oh!

Oh! Goddamn it.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Gregory was assigned to me...

Oh. Ooh.

Okay, boys.

Okay, but you guys are gonna chip in for the

Okay, forget about Gam Gam. She's dead. You gotta accept that.

Okay, I became a dental assistant. It's basically the same thing.

Okay, I'm gonna take the blame on that one.

Okay, let's do it.

Okay, so this is it.

Okay, wait. By saying "we're gonna be here for a long time"...

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right. I'm gonna go home too.

Okay. It's a false alarm. Just mingle, mingle, mingle.

Okay. Let's not talk about illegal, Mr. I Like To Pee On Little Boys.

Okay. Lou.

Okay. More, Dale.

Okay. Now.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Send a sig I'm gonna honk the horn six times.

Okay. Tell her whatever the hell you want. She's not gonna believe you.

Okay. That's cool.

One more. Let's fix this.

One of our intended victims killed the other intended victim.

One of us gets in the chair, spins around and dramatically confronts him.

Ooh.

Ooh. Mm hm. Yep.

Or better yet....

Or else little Stacy here's gonna get a little peek...

Our bosses need to die. You were right, man. We should do this thing.

Our forensics team is sweeping the Pellit house right now for DNA and fingerprints.

Our onboard sensors report you've had a collision.

Out of nowhere.

Peanuts.

Pee, pee, pee, pee on the

Pellit? Trust me, Pellit's name means nothing anymore.

People follow people in these types of situations. Sure you weren't?

People honk once all the time. You'll be in and out

Please come in.

Please protect me from them. I have a wife and a cat!

Please tell me you realize that was a key thingy.

Please, I've seen gay boys. You're one of them.

Please.

Plus, you know, I'm the one who's gonna be doing all the extra work.

Probably best.

Put your hand in a safe place because there's sharp tools here.

Quick little bugger, huh?

Quick story:

****. That's a ****. This is what raping is.

Ready?

Really, I really am. I'm sorry.

Really?

Really? Is this all you've got? Your word against mine?

Really? Why?

Reggie, I got this. Thank you, buddy.

Remain with your vehicle. The police will be arriving shortly.

Right there.

Right.

Right.

Right. At least your boss isn't sexually harassing you.

Run it by me if you'll be stealing stuff.

Same idea, though. We kill each other's bosses, there's no link to us.

Say hi to my cameraman. He's filmed a lot of Hollywood hits.

Say his name!

See, this is what concerns me, Nick.

Seriously. I mean, uh, what about your grandma, you know? Bubbe.

She already knows that you're a sex offender.

She didn't get to say goodbye to her grandson.

She knows I hate surprises.

She lured me in. It was like one of these things.

She might.

She stood there with her breasts right in my face.

She was sleeping on the bed. She had been drinking all night.

She won't mess with you anymore.

She worked hard her whole life and never took shit from anyone.

She's cute, huh, Reg?

She's gone fucking batshit crazy. She took a bunch of photographs of me

She's just very hot. And I'm weak. I'm a weak, weak man, okay?

She's not just my girlfriend anymore. We're engaged now.

Shh.

Shh. Yeah, we saw that.

Shit happens.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit. He's got a foosball table.

Should I just tell them the only reason I know about Harken is

Shouldn't have done that. I'm the one that hasn't done anything.

Shut it down. Let's start talking about where we're gonna live.

Shut the door, take the chain off and let me in.

Shut the fuck up for a second.

Shut the fuck up. Listen. Bring the money here tomorrow, I'll take care of the rest.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Since I know you, I'll let you stare into my eyes.

Sir, I'm going to leave your money on the bed.

Slowly, seductively, lot of shoulder moves...

So all we gotta do is figure a way to get peanuts somewhere into Harken's house...

So bitter.

So dangerous. What if that is an undercover cop?

So from now on, what I would like you to do is just tell me, you know...

So how about we just take the money and we'll get out of here?

So I had to find a job.

So I went out and I became one.

So I'm done, Julia.

So I'm perfectly willing to write that you are an insubordinate, dishonest drunk.

So if I, uh, was gonna put my balls in honey and shaved coconut...

So if you think that I'm some sort of pussy...

So in the end, we didn't wind up going to jail.

So my boss, who we're thinking about planning to kill...

So please prep the patient for the bitewing x ray.

So settle in because you are here for the long haul.

So should I just say that the only reason I know about Harken...

So that's why you're gonna have to fuck me well before the wedding.

So then we'll put some peanuts inside his shampoo.

So you just call yourself a video pirate, right? Pirating the high seas of videocy?

So, meeting adjourned.

So, what do we do? Wait for him to come home, we grab a office chair or something?

So, what is this, then? Your little shakedown?

Somebody said y'all looking for somebody to help with business.

Someday soon, it'll be you running this place.

Son of a bitch.

Sorry about that.

Sorry, everybody. I've been fighting that bug all day. Let me get back to work.

Sounds like Scooby Doo. How are we supposed to fake three accidents?

Sounds like there's someone in your trunk.

Speaking of entrapment, I'm gonna go see that girl about her vagina.

Sperm.

Stacy and I, we watch a ton of Law & Order. Huge Law & Order buffs.

Stay calm. We'll figure this out.

Stop exasperating on me, or watch your H's.

Stop it.

Stop right here. Right here, right here.

Strangely enough, lucky for Kurt...

Sure.

Sure. Yeah, it's right through there. Knock yourself out.

Surprise!

Surprise!

Take a dump and I'm gonna do push ups. Because I gotta get fit.

Take all your work with you and have it on my desk 6 a.m. Monday.

Talk about their lives and shit. And then

Technically is good enough for me.

Technically, I think it's immoral not to kill him.

Ten.

Thank God. Officers, thank God you're here.

Thank you for contacting Nav Guide. My name is Gregory.

Thank you very much.

Thank you, but we had nothing to do with it. We don't know why it happened.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Sure, thanks.

That coked up prick is gonna ruin Pellit Chemicals.

That does not give me any relief.

That dude banged all three of my sisters.

That excuse wouldn't make any sense if your dad was still here.

That famous Alfred Hitchcock, Danny DeVito movie. That's the one he's

That how they got you when you murdered somebody?

That is not proof. That's just a car. You're not gonna listen to a car.

That kind of tone's gonna get you nowhere. All right, two honks.

That last part was important. I saw that, I thought, "This is a good idea."

That makes things easier, huh?

That sucks.

That was a peanut butter sandwich. Are you not good with peanuts?

That was completely dangerous, a total waste of time.

That was great.

That was very good driving, by the way.

That'll do.

That's $5000. If you think we're just gonna walk out and let you keep that

That's a crime. Pfft. Nope. Ha. No one said we'd be stealing.

That's a lot of gas.

That's a really good idea.

That's an awesome deal.

That's because we have a crazy man that hit us.

That's correct.

That's for you, hotshot. Speeding and running a red light.

That's gotta be worth, what, 10, 15,000 ?

That's my favorite.

That's not intimidating, that's like a musical number.

That's not my name That's not my name

That's not my name That's not my name

That's not my name That's not my name

That's ridiculous.

That's this car. Tell me how I can help.

That's true.

That's what I dreamed of. That's what's gonna happen...

That's what I've been doing the last eight years, and it's all about to pay off.

That's who we should talk to.

That's why we were hiring, because we wanna sub that out. We have jobs.

The call me hell

The cokehead?

The cops bring us in as suspects.

The guy that killed the other guy, are the cops after him?

The key to success

The man you killed, you say his name.

The only hitch?

The only reason I took one, I thought you were gonna have one.

The State of Bobbyville.

The Three Musketeers. Nick, Kurt and Dale. Look, hanging like high school.

The worst report I have ever read in my life, you nimwit.

Then all the endless hours, and the sacrifice and the shit eating...

Then I'm going to return to a **** free workplace, all right?

Then let's get started.

Then this is what you need to do:

Then we're in. We're in. We're in. Right?

Then you know what? You know what I did after that? I shot him again.

There it is. Thank you. Let's do it, guys.

There was a few conversations about ratting each other out...

There was a great deal on nuts. I'm not gonna pass up on savings.

There we go. That one's another one, probably illegal thing to say too.

There were no children. No kids in the park. Why do people think that?

There you go.

There you go.

There's a ton at the bus station for sure.

There's all sorts of ways the bad guys on the show mess up, right?

There's nothing on here.

There's nothing that you could do ever that would be taking advantage of me.

There's three bosses, and it would be best if those bosses maybe were no longer....

These guys, they shot me.

They call me hell

They call me hell

They call me her

They call me Stacey

They call me Stacey

They don't, actually. I just hand the tools to Julia.

They leave behind skin cells and, uh, bullet casing

They said his, uh, heart burst in his chest like a water balloon.

They say many Americans find our real names hard to pronounce.

They shot me in the leg, killed a guy.

They should call you Motherfucker Over Jones to avoid confusion.

They use code words, like wet work, right? Liquidation. Check him out.

They was waiting right outside the exit. They got me.

They will not teach you this in business school. is taking shit.

They're gonna endanger local residents.

They're lazy, and slow and they make me sad to look at.

They're looking at me. I'm on probation, and if I step out of line...

They're not the kind of shitheads we need. Anything else?

They're not tribesmen. It's a modern society.

They're saying my hands are rated four stars.

They're smart, they're capable, they keep your teeth healthy.

Thing must have stopped when we crashed.

Think about it, we can quit our jobs and turn into Kenny...

This is a little ridiculous, but

This is about you, Nick. Okay, what do you want?

This is an accounting department decision. My hands are tied.

This is his last chance to make my life miserable.

This is just temporary.

This is Nick.

This is why I need to know what people look like.

This place is awful. It's like The Sharper Image took a shit in here.

This really was so, so sweet of you, Julia.

This thing's a real bummer. Sorry. You're the only one of us who didn't hate his job.

Three hours late. What's the deal?

Three minutes it is. Bye. He'll be down in three minutes.

Three penis shaped foods, that can't be a coincidence, right?

Through the nose stinks too, okay?

To answer your question, that was your wife.

To do that, you gotta spend money.

True. Um....

Two very long, very slow honks.

Ugh.

Uh oh.

Uh, can I have your attention, please? I have an announcement to make.

Uh, I believe that society discriminates and disenfranchises you folks.

Uh, I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sorry if that's what happened.

Uh, look, Julia, now's not a good time to talk.

Uh, Lou?

Uh, no, sir. My real name is Atmanand.

Uh....

Ultimately, he decided his only choice was to screw Julia after all.

Um, okay. Now, wait a minute.

Um....

Unfortunately, no one's gonna pay you to be a husband unless you marry Oprah.

United States of Me.

Use your sleeves. Use your sleeves.

Very funny. That was very funny, guys.

Very good, sir. You may wish to lock your doors.

Very well.

Wait a minute. Is that my wife?

Wait, no. You said you did a dime for some pretty nasty shit.

Wait, wait, wait. What are you gonna do to me?

Wanna know what's weird? I should be panicking...

Was that good?

Watch out for the cat.

We all have clear motives for killing our bosses...

We are lawyering up, men. That's it.

We bond over this. This is friendship stuff.

We broke into a man's house. Suddenly, I'm like an expert at sifting cocaine.

We broke into someone's house. It's the most amazing experience of my life.

We call the cops with an anonymous tip. All right?

We don't have many options, do we?

We get a cab? Take the train? What do you wanna do?

We got an APB on a gray Toyota Prius, license 2 Whiskey Alpha Quincy 2 3 3.

We got the cheese. What kind of cheese are you thinking?

We got you, huh, honey?

We gotta buy coats and sweaters and learn hockey and all that shit.

We gotta get back to your car. Keep moving.

We gotta get out of here. Come on, we gotta go. Oh, God.

We had him, we had the whole goddamn thing. What the fuck happened to Kurt?

We have one thing to figure out, if you can help us.

We have stairs. You don't need to bring your own.

We make our own destinies, and I've made a sweet one.

We should probably get lower. If he sees three guys

We tell them Harken killed Pellit. Boom.

We wait till Pellit makes a move, then we tail him, all right?

We want you to kill another person. If anyone's first, probably him.

We were drinking last night. You said that killing is wrong.

We were there. We saw you kill him.

We'll see about that.

We're going through a real tough time...

We're going to jail. Unbelievable.

We're gonna get back on track here. Sir, we each have a boss, uh...

We're gonna have to let you go.

We're in the process of getting ready to kill three people...

We're taking advantage of Julia.

We've been taking murder advice...

Well, because I'd make sure that nobody in the industry would ever hire you again.

Well, don't bark.

Well, except for the CEO.

Well, fine. Uh...

Well, guess what, looks like we're right on schedule, doesn't it?

Well, I don't actually. Stacy cuts my hair.

Well, I just, uh, took a few pictures of the procedure.

Well, I've heard of butt floss, but this is ridiculous. Ha, ha.

Well, is there something wrong with a man enjoying a drink in the morning?

Well, let me tell you something.

Well, no. Actually, not a total waste of time. Look what I got.

Well, not you in particular, in that instance.

Well, now, you're kind of crossing a line...

Well, obviously I want him gone.

Well, that sounds bad when you say it like that.

Well, then you were lying.

Well, then, ipso facto...

Well, this is You're looking at the state.

Well, too fucking bad.

Well, tough shit, okay?

Well, uh, then, pursuant to the Fourth Amendment...

What about getting a different dental hygienist job?

What about Harken? Probably always got that injector thing.

What about little jabs? Little jabs?

What about the way you look at Maurilio?

What are ? What's going on with you?

What are you doing here? Come to stab me a few more times?

What are you doing, Kurt?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? You're not gonna ring the doorbell.

What are you pointing at? What's going on? What's here?

What are you talking about? Why don't you just, you know, fuck her?

What do I care about protecting Pellit's name when his own son doesn't?

What do you mean by "trim the fat"?

What do you wanna do? What's the plan?

What else? Gotta trim some of the fat around here.

What happened was is that I took a video camera into the movie and I bootleg it.

What happens when I open these? Something'll jump out, bite my penis?

What is it? How do they classify it? Sex offender.

What is this?

What is this?

What is your projected outside date of completion, Motherfucker?

What is your projected outside date of completion, Motherfucker?

What the fuck is this?

What the fuck was that?

What the fuck was that?

What the hell have you guys done?

What the hell?

What the hell's going on, huh? What are we doing here?

What they like, what food they like, who they fucking.

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Are you kidding me? That's awesome. I love that. The lookout.

What? What?

What's going on?

What's going on? What are you doing? What's happened?

What's going on? Why you slowing down, Kurt?

What's the difference? Not like he'll be your boss much longer.

When did you quit?

When I changed the crown on your second bicuspid?

When I was a kid, I snuck into my mother's bedroom.

When I was a kid, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up.

When she died, she had turned that $20 into $2000.

Where was it?

Where were you during the murder?

Where were you?

Whew.

Which is what leads me to think that...

Which means I can shoot all of you twice, just like that bastard Pellit...

Which means I can shoot all of you twice, just like that bastard Pellit...

Who is it, like your mother in law that knows my wife?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait, what's this for?

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't do that. No, the engine died.

Whoa. Whoa. Dude, come here. Hurry.

Why are we talking about this? Let's split up.

Why do you carry a gun on you, Mr. Video Pirate?

Why don't we let this be, uh, our little secret?

Why don't you guys leave that up to me, okay?

Why don't you just tell us now?

Why don't you kill each other's bosses?

Why don't you lean back?

Why don't you take this piece of shit car and get off my fucking block?

Why else do you think my ad was in the "men seeking men" section?

Why the fuck are we paying his hospital bills, he doesn't even work here?

Why would you put his whole bathroom in your ass?!

Why? You know why I'm being suspicious.

With my fingers and my tongue and whatnot.

Wonder what, uh, Dale's doing with Harken.

Wouldn't mind bending her over a barrel and showing her the 50 states.

Wouldn't wanna leave a stain, now.

Wow.

Y'all motherfuckers crazy.

Yeah, baby. In the crack of your ass.

Yeah, hey, you know what? Yeah. I got an idea.

Yeah, I'm okay. Jesus Christ, the guy owns a fucking bear?

Yeah, I'm sure you won't, son.

Yeah, it does. Okay, tape recorder's ready to roll, I got some fresh batteries in here.

Yeah, it is. It certainly is. Yeah, it definitely is.

Yeah, it is. It's from a book. The Great Gatsby, maybe?

Yeah, like Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train, right?

Yeah, or maybe there's a window open.

Yeah, technically. Yeah.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah, we saw you, Dale.

Yeah, we're looking for the most dangerous bar in the city. Can you help us, please?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you know, yours doesn't sound that bad.

Yeah!

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah. I'll meet you there.

Yeah. Know how many times I caught him doing blow at work?

Yeah. Murdering some ass.

Yeah. They don't write "hit man," right? That's dumb.

Yeah. Turns out my new boss...

Yeah. We don't clean our own apartments or cut our own hair.

Yeah. Yeah, I loved that guy.

Yep. Yeah. I have to get Harken to let me leave a little bit early.

Yes, I'll slap you in the face with my cock!

Yes?

Yes. Yes, you should.

Yo, dickwall.

You and you.

You are a sick little bastard.

You are a sick little bastard.

You are pathetic, Hendricks.

You are so fucking fired!

You boys don't get too comfortable out there.

You broke it.

You can start with Large Marge. Marge, can you come in here, please?

You can stay on the line. You're still there?

You can take my advice or get the fuck out of here.

You can't do that. That's not true.

You can't get that expunged? All you did was pull your dick out on a playground.

You can't take that. It's issued by the state, Bobby.

You can't win a marathon without putting some Band Aids on your nipples.

You did all this while I was unconscious?

You didn't murder someone, what'd you do?

You do it right, you ain't even gotta be there when it goes down.

You don't really expect me to pour it back into the bottle, do you?

You either fire the fatty or you fire the cripple, or I fire all three of you.

You fucking son of a bitch!

You goddamn barfing pig.

You good? Did I get you? Did I get you?

You got a bright future here, you know?

You got the cheese?

You gotta admit we got some good intel tonight.

You gotta be a model or actress or something, right?

You grab at it like a gun and you confuse people. Goddamn it, I feel like a moron.

You guys are some fucking evil geniuses.

You guys ever see the movie Snow Falling on Cedars?

You had a shawarma, right? It's like a lamb mistake.

You have arrived at your destination, sir.

You implied it.

You in?

You just continue to surprise me...

You just like shoving shit in your ass, you fucking pervert!

You kind of fled the scene of a crime. That's actually a crime in and of itself.

You know last month you made me work so late...

You know that I like to fool around.

You know what? Forget it. Listen, let's just cut to the chase, all right, mister?

You know what? Hang on a second.

You know what? I don't hear you giving dickskin any shit.

You know what? That's probably not gonna cut it, so I'll tell you what.

You know why she didn't succeed?

You know, Bobby Pellit is an absolute monster. He's a fucking jerk.

You know, it's too bad we're not looking for cats. These people fucking love cats.

You know, right when someone reveals something really intimate, the perp appears.

You know, tell Stacy about us.

You know, the cops, they got the sunflower seeds and the coffee.

You like that, Dale?

You probably should have emptied the DustBuster first.

You realize we can't even mention Harken now?

You realize we're all going to jail because of that idiot?

You said if I left early, I'd get fired.

You said that she was just a hole for your dick.

You saved his life.

You see anybody, just assume that it's Harken, send us a signal.

You seriously locking me out of the car like we're in 8th grade?

You stalk your prey.

You stole a BlackBerry. You fled a crime. You ****d my boss.

You talking about fleeing?

You think that you can blackmail me...

You think when I was a kid I dreamed of running a fucking chemical company?

You think when it came down to it, you'd be able to kill Julia?

You took one because you thought I was? Is that something a Senior VP would do?

You waiting tables. I don't buy that.

You walk into my house on my goddamn birthday and pull this shit.

You wanna pull off a brilliant murder, you gotta act like it's an accident.

You wanna tell me what you're doing littering on my street?

You were about to turn us in.

You were at the crime scene.

You were at the scene of the crime. It was bad then.

You weren't gonna throw a rock through the door?

You weren't kidding, Gregory. This is, uh, a bad part of town.

You will be a suspect if you try and kill her now.

You won't get sympathy for this.

You'll have to duct tape that to your chest.

You'll stay out here, not go in, and be our lookout.

You're a punctual guy. You know the importance of being here right at 6 a.m.

You're a ****r and you've ****d me. That's a ****! ****!

You're dead.

You're gonna fuck my slutty little mouth.

You're gonna give me that dong, Dale.

You're mad at me for killing him....

You're my bitch.

You're not gonna listen to this. This isn't evidence.

You're not gonna ring the bell. Look through the window right here.

You're not gonna shoot us twice or not gonna shoot us?

You're part of the family now.

You're paying and I'm finding a cab somehow.

You're right. Uh, know what I'm gonna do?

You're starting to sound like a little faggot.

You're such a fucking dweeb.

You're the young man who helped Dave out on the street the other night.

You're way too cute to be just a FedEx girl.

Your ad said you do wet work.

Your balls are so smooth.

Your call. I think I know who you're gonna fire.

Your dad chose to dispose of our waste responsibly.

Your dad told me very clearly he would rather die...

Your dick wasn't even hard.

Your first name is Motherfucker?

Your stomach okay? You seem to spend more time on the toilet...

jam my skull into the crack of your ass!

...are you a businessman? Yeah.

...but I also feel very, very, very good. Yeah.

...by Nav Guide. Why not let you use your real name?

...why is this company in the crapper? Well, we're not.

"Dickskin"? Nice. Kiss ass.

"Intel"? It's short for "intelligence."

"Now"? Wait, what does that mean?

"Who's first"? No. We don't want you to kill us.

"You folks"? Subtle.

20/20 hindsight. Is that him?

A gun? Yeah.

A man has his limits. That left a fucking dent.

A registered sex offender. It was an empty playground.

A tape recorder. Did you turn that off? No, it's been recording!

All right? The guy burned off half his face. Exactly.

All right. Well, thanks, Gregory. You're welcome.

And finally, a hot dog. I mean, come on. Now I don't believe your story.

And I snuck up behind her. Dean.

And I'll get you next time I see you. Cool, thank you.

And you know I have that loose filling. Yeah.

And...? Kurt.

Are you kidding? Not at all.

Are you talking about a hit man? Yeah.

Are you the owner of this vehicle? I own it. Yup.

Atmanad is what it was! Atmanand.

Atmanad. Almondmond.

Atmanad. Atmanand.

Atmanand. Ammenand.

Back it up, back it up. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Bad, bad, bad! You probably shouldn't hit the patients.

Being hypothetical? You're the one that pushed us into it.

Beyond the drink? Maybe some extra scratch, if you got it.

Bowflex? Shut up.

But I didn't know it was Harken. Hit the button.

Bye. Have a great afternoon.

Calm down! That's what you get.

Can I speak to you? Sure, what is it?

Can we stop doing this thing here? Why? Because you have a girlfriend?

Can you open the door? That's not cool.

Can you see my pussy? Hmm.

Can't wait to hear them. First things first.

Catch! No, don't ca !

Caught another fly in your web, did you? Ha, ha. Hey, Jack.

Come here! What are you doing? What are you doing?

Come on, come on. Yeah, go on. In you go.

Come on, lean back. I like the three man thing.

Come on, she's not ruining it. Would your life be easier without Julia?

Come on. I can see my fingerprints from here.

Come on. I keep swerving to the left, babe.

Come on. I'll spit on your arms and stuff.

Come on. What if it's the real thing?

Come on. Come on. Dale, Dale, Dale.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Copy that. Okay. See you on the other side.

Cuff them. Oh, my God.

Detectives.... No, uh, I have a question.

Did I invite you? You did and you didn't.

Did I talk to you? No.

Did you sleep with her? No, no.

Do the finger flage. Let's not have jokes for two hours.

Do you have change for a 10? No, I don't.

Do you know what that word means? Yeah, it's dick on dick.

Do you think you're more **** able? I'm not saying that.

Don't call me a hamster now. Come on. Easy, easy.

Don't forget to take your fucking trash can. Yeah. No, that's mine.

Don't get in a wreck. It's go time.

Don't inhale. Grab the box. I'll scoop it in.

Drive safe. Yeah.

Dude, these seats are crazy comfortable. Look at this. I know, it's so good. Ah.

Everybody freeze! Police!

Exactly. Good. Let's take my car. Let's do it.

Exactly. So let's do this. Right?

Felt like a moment. And happy birthday.

Fingerprints. Yeah, fingerprints.

Fire that the other way next time, okay. Is my breath bad?

For the mess. What?

For what? Use them for gloves.

Four, three, two, let's roll. Got it. Okay. Take care.

Gam Gam. Whatever it is.

Get a sifter, or a Colander.

Getting old. What do you do about dummy's boss?

Give me some of that. Don't you touch me.

Go on, gay boy. I'm not gay.

God! Okay, just a cat.

God. Here we go. Don't give me shit.

God. We should be wearing gloves. We don't have Oh, here. I know.

Goddamn it, Dale. You see?

Goddamn it. No. Did he say "six"?

Gonna yell "anybody here kill for money"? No.

Good evening, Mr. Buckman. Yeah, hey, Gregory. How are you?

Good Will Hunting. Good Will Hunting.

Good. Ha, ha. Though you would have to admit...

Got it. You say E R. I say A H.

Gotta be a million jobs out there. You could find another job.

Gotta let him in. How's my hair?

Guys, I don't know. Should we quit? Yeah, definitely.

Hank, this wasn't my idea. Fuck you, Kurt.

Harken? Who'd you think you were stabbing?

Have you been drinking? No.

He looks like James Bond. He really does, dude.

He shot himself. I don't need to hear anything else.

He's up to something. I won't fire anyone.

Hello, Motherfucker. Hey, look who's back. Look who's back.

Hells yeah, man. Here we go, huh?

Here we go. Not interested, thank you.

Hey, baby. Oh, boy.

Hey, Hank, how you doing, man? Good, what's up?

Hey, I'm not here. That's okay.

Hey, Kurt. Come in. Margie, I wanted to congratulate you.

Hey, what is this? It's nothing. It's just a tape recorder.

Hey! There you are.

Hey. How's it going over there?

Hi. Hi, babe.

His name is Almonan. Hands up!

His voice, you kidding? This guy is legit.

Hold on. You gotta take care of that.

How are you today, Dale? I'm fine. Thanks.

How come? Hang on, man.

How did he trick you? I thought he was giving you a promotion.

How do we do this? I thought about that.

How is he? He is great, thanks to you. Thank you.

How's it going over there? Uh, it's

How's Pellit doing? Still pretty fucking dead, Dale.

How's that? Motherfucker Jones.

Hungry. That's a lot of cheese.

I ain't never murder nobody. I'm sorry?

I am the one they call Dale. Hmm.

I am. Well, it's great to finally meet you.

I did not **** her. I'll climb over and kick your ass!

I didn't I know I had DNA in my butt. Lying! You know there's DNA in your butt.

I didn't see that. They do that? Danny DeVito movie. It's funny.

I don't blame you. I bet.

I don't care if it's not a great time. Okay, fine.

I don't have Please, we're in the middle of a meeting.

I don't know what that means. Ah, it's a saying.

I don't know what the guy looks like. Doesn't matter.

I don't know. Go slow.

I don't think so. No, it is, it is. Yeah. No, people say that.

I don't wanna see it. It's my cell phone.

I haven't heard it. I've definitely heard people say that.

I invited her. Yes. She called.

I know what it stands for. Then why did you ask?

I know who he is, bitch. Sorry.

I know. A guy you were gonna kill anyway. Listen, I don't know about that.

I love this guy. This is the real deal.

I may have been two minutes late. Oh.

I mean, everyone thought you were set. Everybody including me!

I need $5000. There's gonna be no more money.

I pissed him off already. Already?

I really fucked her over. Motherfucker!

I remotely disabled your engine. What?

I think you're forgetting Don't go grabbing quickly.

I thought it was such a good deal. Dipshit. Unbelievable.

I want you to fire the fat people. What?

I was at your father's funeral. Uh huh. Mm hm.

I was lying. Sorry. Lying?

I will call you when I'm done. Have a good day.

I would not. Sure?

I'd rather be pissed on. Jesus.

I'll do it. Will you spot him?

I'll do the three of you for a hundred. Kenny, are you gay now?

I'll get the car. I'll go.

I'm a drag racer. You were drag racing?

I'm a green belt, motherfucker. What?

I'm gonna be in the car. Oh, a baseball bat.

I'm gonna check this window over here. Okay.

I'm gonna have sex with you. What?

I'm gonna hire them. No, you can't go to them.

I'm in the chair. Nick's in the chair.

I'm not a dog, Bobby. Good boy.

I'm not pregnant. So I'm just touching you?

I'm sorry. Everyone.

I'm sorry. Thank you.

I'm still here, sir. Just keep, uh, keep us on the line.

I'm sure you are grateful he's here. Yes, I am.

I'm uncomfortable talking about that. Oh, Dale, come on.

I've heard enough. Her skin was glistening.

Is that Harken? Dale's killing Harken? That's Harken?

Is this his phone? That's his phone.

Is this one of those hidden camera shows? What do you mean?

Is this really happening? Look at this. Oh!

It is on like Donkey Kong. Ha, ha.

It was an honest mistake. That's not how you find a killer.

It was awesome, exciting. It was clunky as hell.

It was easy. Easy as buying a used futon. You found a hit man online?

It was never a black white thing. No, come on.

It's a phrase. I don't think so.

It's a recession, but we're still profitable. Bullshit.

It's a Sidekick. I'm gonna be in the car. Oh, shit.

It's a whole thing. You guys in or out? I was in last night.

It's entrapment. Mm hm.

It's just upsetting. No, it's somewhat accurate.

It's me. What'd he say?

It's not funny. Yeah?

It's the same one, I think. Yeah. Really?

Just be here with the fucking money. Yeah.

Just take it easy with that Shut up.

Just two honks. A little tap, tap. Okay.

Kenny's here. What's up?

Kills all three of us? Hold on. That's a thing?

Knock it off. Come on.

Kurt, what happened there? Oh, uh...

Kurt. The fuck you just say?

Let's go check this out. Yeah, we should probably look, right?

Let's go. You are a moron.

Let's look through this window right here. No, no. No, let's ring the bell.

Let's put this down. Look around, make sure some

Like she knew I was watching. "Deliberately undressed"?

Listen. What?

Love it. That's probably right.

Mickey's has falafels? No kidding. Mm hm.

More subtle? Four honks? Can you honk once?

Morning, Thomas. Good morning, Nick. You better hurry.

Morning. Oh, morning. You, uh, must be Nick.

Most of the time, it's sperm. Silent killer.

Motherfucker Jones would be so proud. Yeah, he would.

Never seen that. I love that movie.

Next she makes herself a little snack. She have a nice chest?

Nick the top, nick the top, pecker spit. You been drinking all day, Kenny?

Nick, what do you say? Please. Let's go.

Nick, will you hold this for a second? What are you doing?

Nick. Yeah?

No longer around anymore. We want them...

No way. No, I'll do it. You're gonna do it?

No, don't do that. Hey! God! Oh, shit.

No, don't do that. Wait. Wait. We'll learn the metric system.

No, he's a child molester, Nick. No, uh, deviant. Sexual deviant?

No, I'm not gay! You just do gay stuff.

No, man. Right? That's not cool. You don't shut this fucking hamster up....

No, no. Enjoy.

No, we pay someone to do that. Yeah.

No, you wouldn't. I would.

No. I would.

No. Ooh.

No. What do you mean, "no"?

No. Not at all. Waste of money.

Not bad, huh? What is that?

Now we're thinking outside the box. I wanna go to dinner.

Now, this would count as intel, right? Holy shit, that's a lot of cocaine.

Of course. Can you cover me? Just because

Oh, bigtime. Not "we." Dale, all by himself.

Oh, hey, Rhonda. Hi. Hi. Hi, Rhonda. Very nice to meet you.

Oh, hi! Hi! Hello. Hi.

Oh, man, she is hot. She sure is. Here we go.

Oh, my God! Get out of here.

Oh, my God. Oh! I'm sorry. I'm a squirter, Dale.

Oh, my God. Right?

Oh, my God. I knew it. Who's first?

Oh, right. You mean all black people. Yes.

Oh, shit. Yeah, that was definitely a car.

Oh, you know how to find a killer? Yeah, I bet I

Oh, you know what? What?

Okay, $5000 worth of advice? Yeah.

Okay, Julia. Come on. What?

Okay, Margie. Bobby? What?

Okay, there we go. It's all here.

Okay? So sweet.

Okay? Deal with it. That would be a town, Bobby.

Okay? Have a seat. Okay.

Okay. I'm gonna go home and start.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Seven.

Ooh. Uh oh.

Oops. Mr. Anderton.

Ow! What are you ? Get in the car. Right now.

Pay for his drink. I'll do that.

Perfect. No, not really helpful.

Period? End of story? What does that mean?

Play it just after the crash. Very good, sir.

Pretty pedestrian. Not really. Obvious information, isn't it?

Put it in a briefcase. Thanks for your time.

Put them down on paper, will you? Will do.

****. What?

Really? Yeah, it's from a movie.

Really? Yes, dude.

Remember I saved your life that one time? Shut up.

Right this way. Yeah, let's do it. Come on.

Right. Understood.

Right. Two Three crimes. He's all jitzed out. Ignore him.

Run it by you? Run it by me!

Saved a man's life. Hang on a second.

See you next time. Yeah.

See you, kid. All right, now.

Seriously, yeah? Uh, I actually can't cover it.

She does? Yeah.

She have training for that? Doesn't need it.

She was talking to your penis! Who are you?

She's incredibly hot, by the way. So hot. Don't talk about how hot she is, bastard.

Shit, is that Harken's wife? Yeah, that's her.

Shit! What happened?

Shut the fuck up. It's gone bad.

Shut up about that! Shut up about the briefcase.

Shut up. Ha, ha.

Slouch down a little. I'm gonna get back.

Smart Kenny. I love that shit. What are you doing here?

So listen to us, officer. Hands up!

So you do know the movie. I know who's in it.

So you were surprised? Yeah.

Somebody's circumcised. Okay.

Someone get the lights. Get down, get down, get down.

Something clinically wrong with you. You're a whore.

Something much more subtle. That's too many.

Sorry, what? My grandmother.

Sounds a little sick. It's not. It's just a way to blow off steam.

Stay close, okay? Mm hm.

Stop chatting and start looking. We're committing a crime. This is a crime.

Take it easy, Kenny. No, you guys don't understand, okay.

Tell me you didn't sleep with her. You're a mess.

Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Bobby.

Thank you, Kimmy. You're welcome.

That is rude. This is Dale. Don't say my name.

That is wrong. It's affecting your possible marriage.

That would do it. Heh.

That's 10 years. I know.

That's a silly move. It's a no.

That's a terrible deal. We should listen.

That's a terrible plan. Follow me. I got this.

That's actually a good idea. It's not bad.

That's crazy. Is it?

That's crossing the line? Little bit.

That's good. No, those are great ideas. Yeah?

That's great. It's not great.

That's him. Yeah, that's who I am.

That's it. So it was you.

That's more cheese than we've got. Okay, then. It's five large now.

That's not the point. I'm giving him the whole story.

That's not true! That's bullshit!

That's police. ...will pin it to you.

That's so great. Caught it, yeah.

That's the way it's looking. Why you saying that?

That's what it is. That I saw.

The current situation won't work. There'll be cops everywhere.

Then a banana. Come on.

There he is. Hey. Ah. What did you do to me?

There's a lot of stuff in here. I know.

There's nothing on that side. Yeah. I don't think there's anyone in there.

These are my plus twos. He's in the garage.

They found my DNA. Back it up.

They spring into action. Yeah.

They take that shit so serious, man. Not that seriously.

They, uh, hired me right out of Yale. Hell yeah.

Thirty large. Whoa.

This guy and the mouth in the back. That's me.

This guy's fucking crazy. Slap you all over your face with my cock!

This is a good grab. We broke in! You guys did cocaine!

This is a really bad idea. This is a great idea.

This is high priority stuff here. Thank you.

This is serious business. This is fun.

This is the recon stage. Holy shit.

This is worse than getting pissed on. Shh.

Thomas. I gotta let him go. No, uh

Two hundred, huh? A bargain. To kill three people?

Two thousand? Absolutely not.

Uh uh. Well, it's not our thing.

Understandable. We insist.

Very nice. Thank you.

Wait, why? It was supposed to be an anonymous tip.

Wait. You said you'd take care of this. Yeah, I'll take care of it.

Wanna go check out your boss now? Yeah, I guess we should.

Wanna see what happens? Hey! Gentlemen. Gentlemen!

Water. Yep.

We know what you did. Well, what does that mean?

We should have used a manila envelope. It's all right.

We showed them, huh? We did show them.

We'll know it's you. Come on, man. Dale, two honks.

We're breaking and entering here. I know. Shh. Oh, look at this.

We're going to dinner. I'm sorry?

Well, it's definitely a phrase. It sure isn't.

Well, you are. This is your house here. Oh. I couldn't tell that by the way you go...

Were you followed? Why would I be followed?

What are you doing? Please.

What are you gonna do, rat me out? Maybe I will rat you out. What do you think?

What baby? Your baby.

What bitch? "What bitch"? Guys, my boss.

What do we do? What's the plan? We're here to get some intel.

What do you got for us? Let's go to a restaurant.

What do you got? Getting my gun. Only take a second.

What do you know about Julia? I learned I gotta switch dentists...

What do you mean? It doesn't matter. Let's do this. Okay.

What does that mean? Watch this.

What else? And then I'm gonna...

What is he doing? He's really doing it?

What is it? Huh?

What is that, three hits? That's.... Yeah.

What is that? Do you remember your first week here?

What is this? Is that for us?

What the fuck? That's Harken. Lose him.

What the fuck? What?

What was that? What'd he say?

What would Gam Gam want you to do? She wouldn't want me to kill him.

What? Don't know if I had it in me.

What? It's Harken. He's here.

What? Oh, shit.

What? We're engaged.

What's going on? He's fucking around, man.

What's the confusion? There's no confusion.

What's with the hugging? Saved your life!

Where are they? They'll ruin my life. I can't show them.

Where you going? I don't feel we should stay.

Where'd you get a falafel? Mickey's.

Where'd you see them? At your house. Get in!

Which one, which one? Don't stop right in front of it.

Who the hell's that? That's our Nav Guide rep.

Who's in there? It's your son.

Why are you in the chair? He's my boss.

Why look in the "men seeking men" ? We are men looking for a man!

Will you have a seat, Dale? Do I have to?

Word. Find them vulnerable.

Would you know anything about that? I don't know why it would do that.

Yeah, Dale? I don't think I can do this.

Yeah, I know. Shit, dude.

Yeah, I love this. Kenny Sommerfeld.

Yeah, it's true. Yeah, and it's not pretty.

Yeah, let's just call it off. What the fuck?

Yeah, so? Come on, man.

Yeah, that better work. Watch out.

Yeah, that's right. Hang on. Where the fuck is Kurt?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Yep. Yes.

Yeah. Because I've got some coconut.

Yeah. All right? Okay.

Yeah. Do you know what this is about? It just said "staff meeting" on the memo.

Yeah. Find some gum or lean back. I had a falafel.

Yep. Well, um...

Yes. Well, um....

Yo. Think I can help you boys. Is that for us?

You all right, Margie? Hi, Mr. Pellit. Kurt.

You are insane. Just play the tape.

You are obsessed with your asshole! No, I'm not. It was a prank, Dale.

You bet your ass you will. You should take the blame.

You better get out of here. No problem.

You broke into two people's houses. So you broke into a house.

You can fire, uh, Professor Xavier. Who are you talking about?

You can trust me. Yeah, now you sound like my wife.

You can't? Well, we'll cover it, right? Dale's got it.

You did 10 years for video piracy? Yeah.

You do that too? Of course.

You don't need to cuff us. My God, we're going to jail.

You don't punch the driver! I need you back here for the brakes.

You don't punch the driver! You don't punch the fucking driver.

You ever been on a subway in this town? Pretty great. Where'd that come from?

You fucked my wife? I fucked your wife.

You fucking idiot. Could you be dumber?

You gonna rat me out too? I could.

You got a whole window to look through. I'm coming up.

You got it. Thank you, Mr. Harken. Jesus Christ.

You guys ready? Yeah, very ready.

You hear that? No.

You hurt his feelings. I didn't.

You know this guy? No, I don't.

You know we're dead, right? Why?

You know? ...killed.

You like that, Dale? Oh, my God, yeah.

You mean Hank? Yeah.

You read the papers? They shut us down. Right. Sorry about that.

You steal this? I sure did.

You stole a BlackBerry. You did cocaine.

You think he's onto us? How the fuck do I know?

You too, Mr. Sherman. Please. Lou.

You were just lying to me? Lying?

You were two minutes late. Morning.

You would? Yeah.

You'd rather be in jail the rest of your life? Shut the fuck up.

You're engaged now. Right.

You're gonna back your seat up? If you get in your seat...

You're good? He's good. Yeah, I'm okay.

You're happy here, aren't you? Yeah, of course.

You're not? Oh, really? Yeah, really.

You're pretty close to saying Oh, fuck.

...and all three of us have our problems solved.

...and he was gonna shoot us once or twice. He was unclear about that.

...and he was willing to serve you that perp on a platter...

...and I am a little, but it's in a very good way.

...and I'll put her in a box and I'll mail it to you two, uh, tough guy mafiosos.

...and I'll rub my naked butt against your naked butt...

...and make one huge enormous office.

...and put some poison in Pellit's coke.

...and that is self sacrifice, people. Learn from it.

...and we're both really chafed up real bad.

...and you start stabbing Harken to death in front of the neighborhood?

...and you're giving me shit about stealing a phone?

...as soon as I squeeze the profit out of this company. But first things first.

...at my photo album.

...because this woman is unbelievably hot.

...because you saw me kill my wife's lover?

...because you're naked.

...but it was gonna be fine.

...but to me being a husband was, like, the highest calling.

...constituting probable cause for an arrest warrant.

...dipshit cokehead son, well, it's a small price to pay.

...evil crazy bitch, D.D.S.

...financially and....

...from some guy whose biggest crime is taping an Ethan Hawke movie.

...he fell down, he shot him again in the head.

...he would be entitled to some sort of immunity, right?

...I believe we are free to go. Are we not?

...I can back my seat up.

...I don't think I can go through with it.

...I missed saying goodbye to my Gam Gam?

...I need to know if there are any hidden recording devices in the room.

...I will have yours locked the fuck up...

...I'm going back.

...I'm staying at my mom's house. Mm.

...if I can't trust you.

...if I really wanted to, but I'm not gonna.

...if I really wanted to, but I'm not gonna.

...if you crackers got motives...

...in and out of my fridge drinking all my fucking beer.

...in domestic and international wet work.

...is a twisted old fuck.

...is because I was parked in front of your dead boss's house?

...is clearly putting on a show.

...is dying in front of you and you saved his life?

...jam my skull into the crack of your ass!

...just moments after he got shot dead?

...making you the Senior Vice President of Sales...

...of the Senior VP position into my own.

...on all fours in prison for 25 to life, Comnidyne made me acting president.

...on the day of his funeral.

...one block from the victim's house...

...or this system is off by a full minute.

...or, uh, keep our jobs and just become spineless losers...

...right here in my bellybutton. You'll love it. Think about it. Ugh, ugh! Yes!

...she was giving me a tour of the mouth House.

...she's gonna believe me.

...so this is not gonna work. This is garbage.

...stay where you are, Marge. Congratulations.

...than at your desk.

...than save money and hurt people, okay?

...that dream's about to come true.

...that my dad thought you were so fucking special.

...that our lives would be a lot easier if our bosses weren't alive.

...that spend their entire day dreaming of ways to kill their bosses.

...that would be obstruction of justice.

...that, you know

...the popo...

...then I gave the rest of my motherfucking money to Motherfucker Jones.

...there must be something wrong with the clock on our system.

...there's no laws on the books against putting people's toiletries up your ass.

...they ultimately agreed to let our other offenses slide.

...think again.

...this little sweetheart right here is gonna get a peek at my little photo album.

...to record all conversations for quality assurance.

...two week vacation with my fiancée.

...until it's raw and red...

...we're gonna be here for a long time.

...we're not qualified. We gotta hire a professional.

...when and if, uh, I cross the line. Okay?

...whenever a driver has committed a crime.

...which means you'll probably be here all weekend.

...which wasn't Kurt. But he was okay with that.

...which would only be the case if we were under arrest. Are we under arrest?

...who I want to be our new Senior Vice President of Sales.

...who right now is giving me some fresh shit for being two minutes late.

...who won't do exactly the same thing to a couple of lame assed blackmailers...

...will have been worth it.

...with the greatest number of carjackings.

...without putting a few Band Aids on your nipples, right?

...you crazy bitch whore!

...you dirty, dirty little man.

...you don't have sufficient evidence...

...you'd do that too?

...you're implying that we're not allowed to leave...

'm gonna put that briefcase up my ass!

"Calm"? I saw a guy get shot an hour ago.

"Check the needle, pump back, pump " Okay, hold on. I'm a slow reader.

"Hold the pump " Okay, okay!

"Hostile"? You wanna see hostile?

"Penis"?

"Run"? I'm not gonna run anything by you.

"Skilled professional with years of experience...

"Trust me. You can trust me, honey.

[English US]