Training Day (2001) Edit

A $3 million bust on day one.

A dentist. Open it.

A good narcotics agent should have...

A lick her license. Was she a dyke, a lesbian?

A lot of murder investigations lead here.

A loving touch, you know? Don't worry.

A team?

Ain't got nothing better to do than fuck with me, man? Shit!

Ain't got nothing, huh?

Ain't nothing out there for you.

Ain't right involving her.

All right, fork it over.

All right, gentlemen. Thanks for your cooperation.

All right, gents.

All right, give it to me.

All right, here's the scenario.

All right, I'll play one hand.

All right, Jeff.

All right, later.

All right, let me see your hands! Where is he?

All right, you wanna open up the door?

All right! Hold the fuck on... Hey!

All right! I'm putting cases on all you bitches!

All right! Jesus.

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right. Come on, I need the money. Give me the money.

All right. Nice, nice.

All right. Now stay in here and be very quiet.

All right. Put your hands on your head.

All that jelly and no toast.

Alonzo has until tonight to pay up.

Alonzo pulled off a miracle.

Alonzo, he just snapped.

Alonzo, he's a hothead.

Alonzo, heard you had an expensive weekend in Vegas.

ALONZO: Been married long?

ALONZO: Don't worry. Call an ambulance!

ALONZO: Hey, we got some things for the family.

ALONZO: It's all good, baby.

ALONZO: It's me. Listen, we got the green light.

ALONZO: It's on now, Jake.

ALONZO: Let's wrap this up.

ALONZO: Oh, shit.

ALONZO: Okay, motherfucker.

ALONZO: Rookies!

ALONZO: Shut the fuck up!

ALONZO: That's $250,000 you're holding.

ALONZO: They flipping pigeons to signal I'm here.

ALONZO: This is the heart of it.

ALONZO: Where's the head? SMILEY: Right through.

ALONZO: Why do you want to be a narc?

ALONZO: You don't want a piece of this?

Alonzo's a low down, ruthless vato.

ALONZO'S SON: Mommy. SARA: Alonzito!

Alonzo's taking a shit.

An L.A.P.D. spokesperson said Officer Harris...

And armed robbery.

And one day...

And then you can change things.

Anybody in the house? Is anybody in the house?!

Are you man enough to kill?

Are you serious?

Asshole.

Babies should be sleeping.

Baby! Hand me the pillowcase.

Bad news, dog.

Bailiffs won't come near him.

Be in comfortable shoes. Got a backup gun?

Beat his ass to death.

Because he knows my first name?

Because this cop came.

Because this place is gonna be overrun with blue suits.

Believe it or not, I do try to do some good.

Better take his bullets away, Stan.

Big time!

Big time.

Big transactions.

Black Monte Carlo there, back windows shot out.

BLUE: Civil rights violating motherfuckers!

BLUE: Damn! Now what is that?

BLUE: Didn't see the motherfucker coming!

BLUE: Hey, man, hey!

BLUE: Watch the fucking legs, man! Pick his legs up.

BOB: It's Bob. ALONZO: Hello.

Boo ya, baby!

Boom! Come on, man. Sit your ass up.

Boom.

Breathe, dog!

Breathe, there you go.

Bring them food, stuff like that.

But he's still on their list.

But I didn't. You did.

But I don't believe you. You tapped that ass, didn't you?

But I like that.

But if you're in my unit, you gotta be in it all the way.

But it's entertaining. So I read it.

But it's gotta be from the inside.

But nothing happened, okay?

But you gotta take your time.

But...

Butt naked. Ill. Sherm. Dust.

Buy your wife a car. Put the kids through college.

By the time she found out, the guy's already been transferred.

Can we not talk about my family, all right?

Can you sit down in there?

Captain's riding my ass the whole time.

Chased him for a year. A real slickster.

Chasing them crackhead motherfuckers...

Check that out. It's a bad dime. See the hairs, undeveloped seeds.

Checking for narcotics activity. Drugs, guns, baggies, you know?

Close your eyes. Close your eyes.

Close your eyes. This punk cop is gonna shoot me!

Come on now.

Come on out, dog!

Come on, breathe.

Come on, kid. Do me a favor.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, stop!

Come on, tell the story.

Come on, wolf! Come on, dog!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Get in here.

Come on. Let me check it out.

Come on. Look at it. Sexy, ain't it?

Congratulations, son. You made it.

Congratulations. You're gonna get a medal of valor for this.

Could put you out of your misery.

Count that shit, all right?

Cover your head. You'll mess up my floor.

CRACKHEAD 2: Pussy ass bitch!

Crime fighter.

Damn it.

Damn! I'm thirsty. I want a beer. What about you?

Deal again, Sniper.

Debbie Maxwell, my training officer.

Describe him.

Detective.

Didn't find a damn thing. I'm very sorry.

Didn't you say suck it? Don't lie. Am I a liar?

Digging a ditch?

Do it.

Do you ever lock anybody up? You seem busy keeping people out.

Do you have a favorite place to hide?

Do yourself a favor. Hit him.

Don't bring that here. It'll get you killed.

Don't dick this up.

Don't ever come here without me. I'm serious. For your safety.

Don't move, spread them out! Don't move!

Don't move.

Don't speak till you're spoken to.

Don't touch a thing! Evidence.

Don't worry about it, you're cool.

Don't worry, everything's fine.

Don't worry, I will.

Don't worry, we ain't betting money.

Don't worry, we won't take anything you'll miss.

Done. Paul, call them up.

DOUG: All right. There's a serial burglar.

Drag him to the tub.

DREAMER: It's all there.

Dreamer! Come here!

Ever had your shit pushed in?

Excuse me. Shit.

Fax a copy of the warrant to the clerk.

Feels like football tryouts.

Figure that joke out, you'll figure the streets out.

Finally, after about a year...

Find a good hiding spot.

Fine. Don't.

First time, you're not comfortable. I'll hold it for you.

Five decorated officers say that you shot Roger.

Five sets of problems. You could be six.

Five. Four. Three.

For being a cop, dogging me in the mouth in my own pad.

For sure. For sure.

Forty G's.

Freeze! On the floor!

Fuck me, man! Shit.

Fuck their feelings!

Fuck them! Everybody looking like them.

Fuck you, rookie!

Fuck your appointment with the Russians.

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck! Gun!

Fuck.

Fucking ass prick!

Fucking prick. Excuse me.

GANGSTER 1: What you doing here? You know you don't belong here.

GANGSTER 2: What's up? GANGSTER 3: Must be lost.

GANGSTER: Hey, man, you tripping?

Garbage men handle garbage.

Garbage.

Get a nice job lighting flares or measuring car wrecks.

Get in your last prayer.

Get in, it's unlocked.

Get it signed by the judge, and I want you and Paul to bring it to me.

Get me, Jake. Get me. Hit me. Hit me.

Get my own division someday. You should see their houses.

Get out! Get out of here or I call police.

Get some chow in you. My dollar.

Get that beer in you for ballast.

Get the fuck off me. Fuck off.

Get up out of here. We got your back.

Get your big ass down! Right down! Down!

Get your ink...

Get yourself a steak or something.

Gimme some of that $300 a glass shit.

Give him credit. He worked the system, deserves his freedom.

Give me a break, okay?

Give me a break! Hey, you! Slow up!

Give me a break! Shit!

Give me a name, now.

Give me a name.

Give me a reason.

Give me that thing.

Give me the bitch.

Give me the bitch.

Give me the money, and let me go home, Jake.

Give me the money, and let me go home.

Give me the money, and let me go.

Give you a taste of the business.

Go ahead, cowboy, you got mad squabbles.

Go ahead. Get it.

Go fetch, dog.

Go next door.

God!

Goddamn, boy! That's it, Jake!

Going up.

Gonna need more than that up in here, boy!

Good morning, sir.

Good thing he did. They're looking for him.

Good to see you.

Good.

Good.

Good. So, what now? Huh?

Got room at the booty house. You been there?

Gotta get back to it.

Gotta help out the family.

Grab that hammer and knock this lock off.

Grab that menu off that window for me.

Grab your bag and go home now.

Guy gets ahold of some peanut butter, packs his ass crack with it.

Had lunch with the wise men.

Hand it out to my CI's, witnesses, victims.

Have a cold one.

He don't respect nada.

He drives for 10 blocks before he pulls over.

He gets to make some cash. Lets me know when big things happen.

He gives us shit, we give him lead.

He jacked Roger.

He was a white boy. He looked real young.

He'll do six months in the puzzle factory...

He'll go through what you gotta say to the D.A.

He'll take your back for you.

He's a good man.

He's a high roller, dog.

He's finished.

He's high as a motherfucker. What did you give him?

He's right here. It's Alonzo.

He's standing before the bench, waiting to give his statement.

Hello?

Here it is, all legit, signed by the judge, okay?

Here it is. Mark and Paul kick the door.

Here you go. Let's go!

Here, go ahead, book it into evidence.

Here, use this.

Here. Get that medicine up in you.

Here's a secret:

Here's the problem.

Hey there, cowgirl.

Hey, close the blinds.

Hey, first Damu puts one in his head...

Hey, hey, hey! Go to jail, or go home?

Hey, jackers! Give me my money back.

Hey, Jake, here.

Hey, let me get the CD player.

Hey, pig.

Hey, what's up, girl? Look at you. Go ahead.

Hey! Here's a joke, boy.

Hey! Jake! Jake!

Hey.

Hey. Is your dad home?

Hey. Open your eyes, man. You'll feel a lot better.

Hey. What are you doing up?

Hit me right there.

Hit me.

Hold on. Smiles and cries.

Holy shit!

Holy shit.

House is Code 4. I'm starting the search.

How did you ever screw up so bad?

How do you know that?

How long you been a pig?

How many felons have you got?

How you doing over there? You cool? Come on.

Hoyt is in second, drops Roger with the shotgun.

Hoyt. Hoyt...

Huh? You think you can do this shit? Jake!

I ain't dead yet.

I ain't holding no hands.

I ain't work for nobody! I'm on disability!

I appreciate what you did for my nephew.

I became a cop to put away dealers and criminals, not to be one.

I can't do anything. Clean up your own mess. Don't call me.

I didn't get shit.

I didn't sign up for this!

I do not want to see you on the front page like the others.

I don't know why I'm meeting you. I don't talk to dead men.

I don't know.

I don't sell no more.

I don't think you got it in you. I'm gonna go get it.

I don't want you in my unit. Get the fuck out of my car, rookie.

I found it in MacArthur Park! MacArthur Park!

I got 38 cases pending trial...

I got a punching bag at home. They should be off the streets.

I got four. Boys.

I got jumped by two crackheads.

I got nothing on me. I gave it up.

I got two pair!

I gotta get ready.

I gotta give you one more, though.

I had my shit pushed in, bro!

I have a little girl!

I have cable. You watch whatever you want, okay?

I have the keys to all the doors.

I have to go.

I heard about Vegas. Got a green light on your ass.

I heard different.

I know I'm lucky. I ace this job, the department's wide open.

I know Landers. She's a sharp lady.

I know that. Thank you.

I know what you're going through and feeling.

I know you got secrets. Everybody got secrets.

I know you're angry. Everybody, put the guns down.

I know, I know, I know.

I know. That's why I signed up. I want to thank you for this...

I like how you move. You were trained well.

I like that shit.

I meant a police officer.

I need a res on a Sandman. He may be in custody.

I need my money!

I need some time off, but... Wow, okay.

I noticed you applied that chokehold though, huh?

I remember having a young bride.

I respect that.

I rest my case.

I said Kevin ain't even over here!

I said put the money in that bag.

I say he's cool.

I see you again, I'll fuck you up!

I see you down here again, I'll make you walk home.

I seen this one. I want to see yours.

I should've been a fireman. One more.

I stopped them!

I supervise five officers. Five personalities.

I thought you were man enough to handle this shit.

I told an informant I'd take care of his family for him.

I walk a higher path, son.

I wanna go home, Jake.

I want my money back!

I want them grabbing glass. You take the back.

I want to make detective.

I want to see that goddamn warrant!

I was going to a ditch party and...

I watched that cocksucker for years and now I got him.

I went to every class. Why?

I wish it was tomorrow so I'd know if I made the squad.

I'd cut your fucking dick off and stick it up your funky ass. Bitch.

I'll be on the 6:00 news in handcuffs because of you.

I'll be right back.

I'll be right back. All right?

I'll dent your mouth, I'll crack your head open.

I'll do anything you want me to do.

I'll find this guy on the street...

I'll go back to the Valley, I'll cut parking tickets.

I'll let the homeboys run a train on her. Know what that is?

I'll like not being in a hot black and white all summer.

I'll see you, buddy.

I'll smoke it. Give it to me.

I'll tell you what I want.

I'll tell you what.

I'm belting in our unit, and she's tossing his car.

I'm gonna be cool. Drop the gun!

I'm gonna burn this motherfucker down!

I'm gonna get that gun and that money.

I'm gonna get that gun and that money.

I'm gonna get to the bottom of your bullshit. She's my cousin, homes.

I'm gonna go to the head. Two seconds, we're gone.

I'm gonna leave you three to it.

I'm here for Alonzo.

I'm just playing.

I'm married, I got my queen too.

I'm sick of it. I can't stand him!

I'm sorry, but it is.

I'm sorry. Orders, dog.

I'm surgical with this bitch. How you want it?

I'm the man up in this piece!

I'm the police! I run shit here! You just live here!

I'm the Zig Zag man. Who are you?

I'm trying to read. Please shut up.

I'm winning anyway. I can't lose.

I'm winning anyway. I'm winning.

If he don't turn up downtown with the cash by midnight...

If I was a dealer, you'd be dead!

If I'm not around, who will keep him off the radar? I'm just taxing him, that's all.

If you ask me homes, that's just, of course, if you ask...

If you're cool, you're a hero.

If you're lying to me...

If you're wrong, he'll use your nuts for dice.

In the back, bam! Code X.

In the kitchen, fellas.

In this business...

In those pockets are money. Look in either one. Pay the bill.

Intel says she lives here alone. She got two female juveniles...

Is that Daddy?

Is that your little cousin?

Is this five card draw?

Isn't that what you said?

It behooves you not to dick around on this one.

It entertains me. You won't let me read it, so you entertain me.

It is. That you're out there...

It takes a wolf to catch a wolf, understand?

It was quiet and we're rolling...

It's all good.

It's gonna be all right. I know.

It's nice here.

It's no fun when the rabbit has the gun, is it?

It's not what you know, it's what you prove.

It's not what you know. It's what you can prove. Here.

It's nothing. I didn't know. It's not my town.

It's the nature of the business.

It's time.

It's ugly, but it's necessary.

It's your call.

It's your deal.

Jackers, why you all standing over there?! Blast them fools!

Jake, come back here!

Jake, go and bounce, homey.

Jake, we're a team.

JAKE: About a year. Yeah?

JAKE: But I found this. ALONZO: No, you don't.

JAKE: Hey, Paul?

JAKE: That was not cool, all right? That was not cool at all!

JAKE: What's here?

JAKE: What's in here? Coke?

JAKE: Who lives here? Just one of my lovelies.

Jake!

Jake!

JEFF: Check this out. Nice suit, Mark.

JEFF: Hey, new guy, watch him!

JEFF: That's what I said.

Jeff's in first. Roger fires twice.

Judges gave over 15,000 man years of incarceration time...

Jungle. Damu headquarters.

Just a tax.

Just be quiet until we're through with our investigation.

Just doing homework. You want Tony?

Just had a little freak out, that's all.

Just let it go.

Just open the door!

Just sit down right over there next to your auntie.

Just sit tight, all right?

Just stay cool.

Justifiable homicide in the line of duty.

Keep your mouth shut, eyes open.

Kick back and party.

Kids these days. Not gonna do it?

King Kong ain't got shit on me!

Kitchen's clear!

Kitchen's this way.

Know what the money's for?

Last week in Vegas, some Russian starts talking shit.

Learn how to count, fucking math whiz.

Learn that shit.

Left that out of your service jacket.

Let me get his money.

Let me load up!

Let me see. It's old. Probably last year's.

Let's do this right so we can all go home.

Let's go downtown to the station. Talk to my guy, Stan.

Let's go, ****a. Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go. Safe your iron, son.

Let's go. We got a meeting in 15 minutes.

Let's not talk about her.

Let's take a deep breath and just diffuse this. Jake?

LETTY: Hello. Hey, Letty.

Lift up your tongue.

LISA: "I'm too hungry for my own good." Yes.

Listen to me, man.

Listen, I became a cop to stop people from using...

Listen, it's not tomorrow, it's today.

Listen! That's an order!

Listen.

Look at me.

Look, I don't give a fuck, but the boys'll feel better.

LOU: The Russians don't care if you're a cop.

Lucky I don't make you eat that.

Lucky I got other business.

Make sure he signs them out from maintenance. Copy?

Make sure that tub is clean.

MAN 1: Right there? WOMAN: Just right there.

MAN 2: What's up, punk?

MAN OVER RADIO: The decorated officer, an L.A.P.D. veteran...

Man walks out of his house, sees this snail lying on his porch.

MAN: Come on! Shut the fuck up and just wait!

MAN: What's the holdup? WOMAN: Move it!

Man...

Mark and Paul kick the door. Jeff runs in.

MARK: Down! What are you clowns doing?

May I read?

Maybe we'll do some business. We're aggressive.

Moo.

MORENO: Do it!

MORENO: Hey, white boy.

MORENO: Smiley?

Motherfuckers!

Move real slow. Put the money in that bag...

Move the hands, I'll slap you! Face against the glass! Right there!

My bad. My bad.

My dream's less than a year away. Philippine Islands, here I come.

My friend? Tell me why?

My guys aren't leaders, they're clowns. You're a leader.

My nephew, Dimitri! In the bedroom!

My ****a!

My ****a.

My ****a.

My partner has it. He'll be out soon.

Neat trick. This is nice.

Need to talk to the feds, go to him first.

Never wear the ring to work.

Never, ever do a day in prison.

New guy, Jake.

Nice to meet you. Welcome to my house.

Nice. You could fuck a vato up with this.

No matter what I say, you did the right thing.

No problem.

No you ain't, cop.

No, he ain't. He's just a kid that got the drop on y'all.

No, I said a wolf, not a rooster, a wolf.

No, I want you.

No, man.

No, not really.

No, right?

No, thank you, ma'am.

No, thanks, I'm good.

No, the CD player's mine.

No, unclaimed shit from Property.

No, we ain't killing nobody.

No, you are. Nice suit you got on there.

No?

No?

No.

Nobody thought he could get the cash.

Nobody's gonna hurt him.

Not like I put a gun to your head.

Not like this.

Nothing I can do. I'm just a lowly civil servant.

Nothing in there?

Nothing to figure out. It's senseless bullshit.

Nothing, man!

Nothing's free in this world.

Nothing's free in this world. Not even arrest warrants.

Now he looks the judge right in the eyes...

Now that's some smiles and cries for your ass!

Now we use this.

Now, Alonzo's into the Russians for a million.

Now, this is all El Salvadorian food.

O where, O where can he be?

O where, O where Has my little Jake gone?

Officer down. Repeat, officer down.

Officer Hoyt, job number one: Preserve life.

Oh, come on, man, it's...

Oh, okay.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

Oh, what a day.

Oh, you federally fucked now.

Oh, you motherfuckers! Okay.

Okay, just stay right there. Don't move! Don't you move.

Okay, okay.

Okay, open up the closet. All right. Good, good.

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

Okay! Everything is fine.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. All right.

Okay. Hand me the pillowcase, baby.

Okay. I'm gonna clear the house, check it for weapons.

Okay. Thanks. You watching TV?

One problem: You got no witnesses.

One way in, one way out.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

One, two...

One...

Only 17, but he can kill.

Open your mouth.

Opening a Circuit City?

Opening fire in a neighborhood.

Or not.

Or shoot me.

Over four million in here.

Ow!

PAUL: Alonzo, there's two shots left.

PAUL: Drop your gun!

PCP. Primos. P dog.

Pick him up!

Pine oil. That's where you headed, to pine oil heaven.

Place your weapons inside that pillowcase.

Plates run clean, so I test and arrest.

Player to player, pimp to pimp.

Please! I got a kid.

Please.

Police officer, ma'am, calm down. I said stop! Stop!

Police officer! Get away from the girl!

Police officer! Police officer! Stop! Come on, man!

Police! Let's see your hands!

Poo butt ass.

Pretty amazing shit you did back there.

Professional anglers go after the big fish.

Pull your pants down.

Punk ass, bitch ass, crooked ass cop!

Punk motherfucker!

Put ice on it. You'll be fine. What're you doing here?

Put me in the front seat, I'll whup his ass!

Put the $60 in there too.

Put the gun down before you give her a heart attack.

Put them down!

Put them up! Put them up!

Put your hands on the windshield!

Put your hands on your chest!

Put your hands up, son.

Reality is, the good guys...

Reminds me when I was chasing down bad guys.

Right here, Detective Doug Rosselli...

Right here.

Right over there.

Right then the man walks out of his house...

Right, but why a narc?

Right?

Right.

Right. This my new guy, Jake.

Roger opens fire, hits Jeff.

Roger sold dope to kids. The world's better off without him.

ROGER: Alonzo, what are those asses thinking?

ROGER: Alonzo's gonna have your ass.

ROGER: Boom!

ROGER: What am I supposed to do with this? Wipe my ass?

Roll over, man. Roll the fuck over!

Roll your window down. Start there.

Russians want you. I got your back.

Safety is first.

SANDMAN'S WIFE: Ain't nobody here!

SARA: Alonzito! Alonzito!

Saving the goddamn world.

See how easy it was?

See why we don't play for money? Because of this vato.

Seriously. I know I'm number one.

She can pick it up in jail. Give me the cigarettes too.

She shows me a .38 and two loaded shotguns.

She was being ****d.

She was white.

She's a little feisty today.

Shit, I don't fuck...

Shit, if we can get away with it, I'm with you.

Shit, man, I didn't want to know.

Shit, they build jails because of me!

Shit, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit! Ah, you motherfucker!

Shit! You know you cracking.

Shit.

Shit. I'll get piss tested, and I'll get fired.

Shoe program, ****a!

Shoot him.

Shoot me. He's coming with me.

Shoves his hand down his pants, comes out with extra chunky Jif.

Simple question.

Since you can't shut up so I can read, tell me a story.

Sit down and place them on your knees.

Sit down.

Sit down. We're the good guys.

Slap the cuffs on him?

Smell like bacon! Do I look like a sucker to you, ****a?

Smiles and cries. Smiles and cries. I hear you.

Smiley, check it out.

SMILEY: Blasted that fool.

SMILEY: Get the fuck out of here!

SMILEY: It's gonna be loud.

SMILEY: No. That's why I never shake his hand.

SMILEY: Put it on the counter.

SMILEY: Sure? You can count it yourself.

SMILEY: Who had it? I found it!

Snail bounces off a rock, busts its shell up all to shit...

Snail lies there dying.

SNIPER: Come on, sit down. Play a card game with us.

SNIPER: Come on. Raid his ass! Shit! God!

SNIPER: Do it!

SNIPER: Who'd he jack, homes?

SNIPER: Yeah, jokers are wild.

So he looks at it...

So he picks it up, chucks it into the backyard.

So how much cash was in that jacket?

So the judge says:

So why don't you please go outside, clear your head.

So you like raping girls?

Somebody didn't sleep through Ethics.

Sometimes we take this shit all the way.

Son of a bitch! You shot me in the ass!

Son, open your eyes! Can't you see?

SPIDER: What's up, Alonzo? All right, Spider. What's happening?

Sprung his mom from INS detention. Here we go. Watch this.

Stan Gursky, he runs the D.A. shooting team.

Stand over there and don't get me killed.

Stand up, you. Stand the fuck up!

Stand up. Keep your hands where I can see them.

Start an entourage.

Start, you motherfucker!

Stay home. Save some cheddar.

Stay off of the Rover.

Stay the fuck out of my way.

Stick with me, you can do it.

Stoners.

Stop the car!

Stop the car! I saw something!

Takes a man to kill.

Teammate. I got eyes everywhere.

Tell him the story.

Tell Jeff to pick up some tools. Picks and shovels.

Tell me a story now. Go.

Tell me a story, Hoyt.

Tell the truth. You know you tapped that ass.

Thank you, sir, but I ate.

Thank you. It looks great.

Thanks a lot, I was busy.

Thanks for the snort.

Thanks for your cooperation. Let's go.

Thanks to the Sandman. Now listen.

Thanks.

That doesn't fly anymore. Shoving a pen down.