Club Paradise (1986) Edit

A couple more inches, I think. If I could just find a hole.

A day that Ernest Reed...

A little girl?

A long time ago. The mongoose, of course, kills snakes.

A national state of emergency.

A representative of Her Excellency, the Queen...

A year from now, your little Swiss and Arab friend are gonna turn on you...

About 300 years behind.

About a place called Saint Nicholas. You ever heard of it?

After him!

After you left the Palms, they said you were a smuggler.

All members of the...

All right then, let's do it.

All right, Ernest, all right.

All right, ladies, let's hit the blackjack tables.

All right, let's go. In single file, and I mean you.

All right! Okay!

All right! They left our cameras and watches.

All right.

All right. I suggest what we do is we walk very calmly...

Allow for the Gulf Stream and a headwind, that would put me...

Am I going to be able to take a decent shower...

Amazing.

And a fashion statement.

And a guy who just paid $32 for a bad Veal Oscar...

And a lot of innocent people will be hurt unless you and I do something real fast.

And as for help, I guarantee there isn't a single native on this island...

And believe me, he is dying to sell.

And even I'm a little uncomfortable with the possibility...

And give you the hosing of a lifetime.

And his sister loved it so much she wanted the recipe.

And his subversive American comrade, Jack Moniker...

And I am wearing a leaf!

And I gave him some advice, too. I told him, "Wear one glove.

And I got a partner down there about to start a revolution...

And I got an icicle of snot hanging from my nose.

And I guarantee I'll have you back in center field.

And I haven't forgotten you, Mr. Hook and Ladder Man.

And I order...

And I want you to get there with me.

And if we don't?

And if you charm her pants off and drive her to China...

And look at this. Look at that buffet.

And meet me on the beach in five minutes.

And Mr. Voit Zerbe, the owner of the Royal Saint Nicholas Hotel.

And now it seems that we have to share a bath...

And now we can't get rid of. It seems that you've been here for a year.

And plus, I can't wear all these Babylon clothes...

And provide some useful intelligence, my government might be very grateful.

And reports of ganja being smoked right here on these premises.

And still they will not be moved.

And that the government is ready to sell it.

And that you haven't paid your food and beverage taxes...

And the food! They got lobster there as big as a child or a small woman even.

And the four of us will get totally demented. What do you think?

And the frying female flesh right across the island.

And then Albert Schweitzer over there panicked...

And then hacked them to pieces with machetes.

And they ain't gonna stop until they get it.

And this noise. Is this guy any good or what?

And walking perpendicular to the line of the sun's movement.

And we don't know what they want?

And we ended up taking a shortcut through the suburbs.

And what is Breakfast Jump Up?

And you call that a philosophy?

And you can leave whenever you wish.

And you will all be released unharmed.

And you won't even have to make love to me.

And, of course, you know the Governor.

And, Randy, where's my bran? You know, I can't start a day without fiber.

Anybody, help me!

Anyone hear these songs, don't want to hear these songs anymore.

Anything I can do to help?

Anyway, it can't last much longer.

Apparently, you and your friend Ernest...

Are the only things left standing in the way.

Are threatening the peace and prosperity of this...

Are trying to business me out of here.

Are you always this cheerful in the morning?

Are you in the dry cleaning business, Mr. Moniker?

As the official representative of her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II...

As the representative of Great Britain...

At its widest point, which would be from Puerto Maria on the north coast...

At last, a bribe.

At this perverted passion pit you're running here.

Attack.

Aye, Reed, man. Aye, Reed.

Babe, this is the only country where the constitution is written in pencil.

Bar, Bar. We're out of here. Let's go.

Barry Steinberg. Barry Nye. Smoked meats.

Barry, you gotta come. Let's go. Nude beach!

Barry!

Be careful. Somewhere on this island, there's a doll with your face on it.

Be that as it may, Mr. Moniker...

Beat him to death with the arm...

Beautiful, just beautiful.

Because I think it's stupid to go off without knowing where you're going.

Because she's a writer for The New York Times travel section...

Because you have been so cooperative...

Before I turn my hormones loose...

Besides, all the good k'nish is already on the beach. Let's unpack.

Besides, I don't think there are any sheep on Saint Nicholas.

Besides, I know for a fact that the island is only 7 miles across...

Besides, I want to try this thing, anyway.

Besides, it's more tantalizing to conceal than to reveal.

Besides, we've been so damn busy today, we haven't had a chance to think about it.

Between the eyes with a rather large bullet.

Big mistake. If he doesn't come soon, I think we should just check out.

Big, hairy deal. We're naked, you jerk.

Big!

Bug spray?

Bullshit, Jack. I've heard that from you 1,000 times.

Bushes!

But do something, Sol. I've got 150 pounds of lobster melting in my freezer.

But I could be. See, there's a lot of heat on me, guys.

But I know how these guys operate.

But I'm getting a lot of flak from the Health Department.

But I've noticed that every time that wonderful old tugboat heaves into port...

But if you're really interested in something wonderful...

But it says "private" right here. How could it be a mistake?

But tell her my brother's a queen and even he doesn't want me to spy for England.

But the good news is you won't have far to walk to work in that factory...

But we are close. We're very, very close.

But you guys... I don't know. You're too political.

But, you see, there's strict government regulations against nude sunbathing.

Buy them anything they want, agree with whatever they say...

Can I get you a drink while you're waiting for a new dealer?

Can we leave? This place is absolutely ghastly.

Clean. It's gotta be clean.

Cleveland, get your thumb out of my soup. What am I paying you for?

Come on down and we'll talk. But you guys are good, very good.

Come on, baby.

Come on, baby. It's me, Jack.

Come on, baby. Kiss it.

Come on, baby. Yeah! Get it, baby.

Come on, check it out. What about those two?

Come on, I was just woofing you.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Come on, look on the bright side. I heard this place is going co ed in a month.

Come on, Philadelphia, stay here. Have a decent job.

Come on, red devil! Yeah!

Come on, take your clothes off.

Come on, they were just talking to me about you.

Come on, they're waiting for us.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Mama feels good tonight.

Communism will not attract women 18 to 26, for instance.

Completely stuck in your premature retirement fantasy.

Cool vibes, everyone. Part yourselves.

Couldn't stand the tropics?

Cousins.

Crazy, but I'm not stupid. Thanks for the offer.

Damn it. Hand me that crowbar.

Darling, darling, darling. Forget Toby.

Dave.

Dealer? I'm a taxi driver, man.

Desmond say he see him go way, way out.

Did it occur to you whoever took our clothes could be watching us right now...

Did you need to take a leak?

Did you rehearse?

Do you believe this?

Do you know what I'm saying? This is the night. Okay?

Do you know where it is?

Do you mind, Jack? It's awfully loud, isn't it?

Do you mind? I'm a close, personal friend of the owner.

Do you realize how boring it gets looking at beauty day in and day out?

Do you think I like looking like a Hawaiian pimp?

Do you want to go back in there and ask your buddies for a little bit more?

Doesn't want to know the band is angry. But you keep playing at your own club.

Don't do this to me, partner. Come on, we've promised these people a floorshow.

Don't give up, baby. We're almost out of here.

Don't stare at them. They're gonna come over and start talking to us.

Don't start those wild rumors about revolution again.

Don't worry, honey, I think that's wild sugarcane.

Don't you have any ambition? Surely, you must want something out of life.

Draw, Sir Anthony?

Drawn and quartered. I think we're going to need two other guys.

Drinking tea off a lace doily, saying, "It doesn't matter."

Drinks on the house. Doubles.

Dumbo the elephant, with the big ears.

Enjoy.

Ernest Reed and The Flamboyants.

Ernest, I know this business...

Ernest, that is not a hotel. This is a hotel.

Ernest! Great. Stop. Have I heard enough.

Ernest...

Even if we had to average less than 2 miles an hour.

Everybody say hello to Hat.

Excuse me.

Fashion models, got to be.

Fellows, guys, great. Had a blast.

Fiery Jack, see you've made contact.

Figure 10 miles an hour or knots.

Figure 16, 18 hours out there, maybe.

Fireburn for these songs. I have my own songs. I'm not doing these songs.

Fireman, sir. Chicago fireman. Retired.

First hint of a war and they start running like frightened children.

First thing I got to do, build a house.

Five miles out, I thought I saw a shark flossing.

Flogging, slavery. Honest day's work for an honest day's beating.

For a couple of weeks. You want to come with us?

For the crowd I get here, they want to hear Yellow Bird In a Banana Tree.

For your information, you are looking at a future partner in Club Paradise.

Forced them to drink blood through a severed sheep's penis...

Forget her. Snob city.

Forget it. I'll go without it.

Forget it. Sol, let me walk you out.

Forget nice. My mother's nice.

Forget this place. You guys are gonna love the Caymans.

Forget your annoyance, because here comes...

Forgive me, but I thought most of your official duties consisted of a lot of this.

Frankly, I'd rather be drawn and quartered.

Ganja!

Gather the rest of our flock. I'll round up the strays.

Gee, I love being naked. It's great.

Gentlemen, I just spoke to the owner of Club Paradise...

Get back to work!

Get in after him!

Get out of my face before I rip your nose off.

Get the net! Come on, babe.

Girls!

Go change the gloves, will you?

Go on, ma'am.

Go on! Just go on and go! Get them!

God damn it!

Good deal. One joint. You know we're going to need more than one joint.

Good evening, ladies. Mind if my father and I join you?

Good gracious, it's the fireman. I thought you'd gone.

Good gracious, man, are you still here?

Good morning, gentlemen.

Good morning! Anybody hungry?

Got to think clear now.

Great music. Real tight. Real good rhythm thing happening.

Guard! Guard!

Hardly. I haven't any money anywhere.

Hat blocking? Xerox repair?

Have a time.

Have you seen any of the staff? We have no towels, nor any toilet paper.

He better cut it off or go.

He said, "Soon come." y ou know what that means? It means it's coming soon.

He stiffed a loan shark. So a couple of these guys got him. Cut off his arm...

He's cool. The guy's cool.

He's gonna be here in about 10 minutes. I really think we should get dressed.

He's gonna lose the club.

He's my partner. He's my friend. He's a reggae machine...

He's not here!

He's wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night, taking us up into a jungle.

Hell, no.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Helmut.

Help me, you schmucks!

Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Here in the jungle, it's basically long, tedious periods of sweltering doldrums...

Hey, dinner is served.

Hey, everybody!

Hey, I'm doing it!

Hey, Jack. Thanks, man, for what you've done for my people.

Hey, Jackson.

Hey, pal, where the hell did you go? I was about to send your name to Ripley's.

Hey, red, what do you say, you want to join us for a colada?

Hey, watch your front knee, and tilt the mast forward.

Hey, what kind of welcome is that?

Hey, you're right, though. This is very misleading.

Hey! There goes Cleveland in a blinding white flash.

Hey...

Hi.

Hi. Could you do me a favor? Could you put some lotion on my back?

High rise hotels...

Hold it right there, Mr. Island Jack.

Hold it right there. Don't move.

Hold it right there. Perfect.

Hold it there, Mr. Gundy. I got you covered. You're on my property.

Honey, can you just ask him how much longer we'll be circling?

Honey, I never knew that Eisenhower hadn't made up his mind...

Honey, just ask him.

Honey, that's over $1,000 already. Don't you think it's time to quit?

Honey, this is the man's business. I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

Hot buffet. I say, let's go.

Hot enough for you? Is everything satisfactory?

How come the dog gets to sit in there while we're freezing our ass off out here?

How long does this go on for? You guys go late, or what?

How very thoughtful.

How was that shower?

How you doing tonight?

How's it going, guys? Sorry we didn't get a chance to talk on the bus.

I believe you ladies mentioned something about smoke.

I can sense it, almost smell it. You know, I was a boy scout, honey.

I can't believe it. I thought you were...

I can't find my friend Barry anywhere. I don't know where the hell he is.

I can't leave here, y our Grace. I'm supporting thousands of mosquitoes.

I can't tell you the feeling of flying through those trees.

I come to you tonight because I am deeply, deeply concerned.

I could get two guys playing garbage cans, and they'd be happy. They'd smile.

I could have done the same dive myself if I didn't have this diarrhea.

I could never figure out where the other two worlds were.

I could turn it into really good insurance fire.

I did have something official that I wanted to discuss with you in private.

I didn't just make it... I don't want to play.

I don't believe it.

I don't have time for politics. Business is going to be so good from now on.

I don't know what that center field is, but I tell you...

I don't know why he must have all that boogooyaga hair on him head at all.

I don't know why you're knocking your brains out in a shit hole like that, anyway.

I don't know, I didn't look.

I don't know.

I don't see any little switches. No little vents.

I don't think so. I don't want to get my hands all greasy.

I don't want that on my conscience. Okay?

I don't want to die, Randy! I don't want to die...

I feel a colossal headache coming on.

I feel it may be a matter of vital interest to my government.

I feel one just about to leave.

I found a shell.

I got an uncle, Sid, who lives in Cleveland, makes this noise...

I got friends in low places, too.

I got more songs, you know.

I got the message.

I got two chicks lined up over there that are hot to trot.

I guarantee if you stick with it, by tonight...

I guess that's how it works.

I had an interesting chat this afternoon with the Prime Minister, Mr. Gundy...

I have a little surprise for you.

I have been engaged in matters of the utmost importance...

I have never felt more alive in my entire life.

I have no idea. I don't know where I am. What am I, a captain?

I have not spent my life cruising from discotheque to discotheque...

I have used every legal means at my disposal...

I heard about this guy in Cicero.

I hope that was your finger.

I impose martial law.

I just assumed it.

I just got this brochure on my desk...

I know a place that's totally secluded. You can do anything you want.

I know how we can work this one out. Come with me.

I know it's wrong, that's why I'm telling you.

I know this high finance thing may look good to you now...

I know you have urgent business, Mr. Gundy, but before you go...

I live off a big insurance settlement from the fire department.

I made it!

I made it! Okay!

I made it.

I never knew that.

I order you to withdraw at once, or I shall be forced to shoot you...

I quit.

I review resorts and hotels for The New York Times travel section.

I smelled it the minute you walked in.

I take it you're looking for a little female companionship.

I tell you what, we're going to go out and cop some primo Cannabis sativa.

I thank you.

I think they'll be calling me real soon. Now, remain calm.

I think we better sit this one out.

I think we met in another life.

I think you should check out the woman in the blue, possibly silk, top.

I think you'll find most of the bugs in my room.

I think you'll find that when we say "private"...

I thought that people were out to get me.

I thought we were the only two heads on the Island.

I told him a million times.

I told you to come to me if you had any problem.

I wake up this morning, no coffee, no waiters...

I want to feel the wind through my hair.

I want to know what the hell's going on, and I want to know right now.

I was certain you'd be back in Minnesota, or Dakota, or whatever it is.

I was curious to see what was going on...

I will crush Ernest Reed.

I will eat his bones.

I won't mince words with you, Mr. Moniker.

I wonder if I might try this parachute thing?

I would even say that if someone, perhaps someone with nothing to lose...

I wouldn't even call it a revolution.

I wouldn't know what to say. It sort of reminds me of a Japanese POW camp.

I, for one, am getting very hungry.

I, therefore, declare...

I... Linda!

I'd like to thank you and ask that you remain seated...

I'd like you to gather all your possessions...

I'd love to join you, but I gotta get back to the club. See, I'm expecting an army.

I'd say there's about a foot of water in our room.

I'd see to it that you got out of here safe with a little money in your pocket besides.

I'll be right back.

I'll catch you later.

I'll do it just once. And then I'm going to burn these clothes.

I'll go back to my room. I'll get some weed.

I'll handle this. I'll look after it.

I'll say this for you, Mr. Zerbe. You've got style. But it's not for me.

I'll say this for you, you're prompt. When you threaten somebody...

I'll talk to him, and I'll work this thing out.

I'll tool around here for a while.

I'll try and find a dry spot, and we'll talk.

I'm a federal narcotics agent, and you're both under arrest.

I'm afraid it will take more than a miracle. Listen to me, Ernest.

I'm afraid it's not going to be that easy, mister.

I'm alive!

I'm alive! I made it! I'm alive!

I'm going back to Chicago where it's safe.

I'm gonna be schvar in two minutes here.

I'm gonna get 20 years for this. That's what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna sue him.

I'm here, Jack.

I'm just trying to do what's best for everybody.

I'm meant to be going with them.

I'm not cut out for this.

I'm not wearing this shirt. Look at it. Look at this shirt.

I'm on the case. Tonight you'll have the finest shower possible.

I'm overwhelmed.

I'm talking major passion.

I'm talking time and a half for overtime...

I'm telling you, it was fruit city out there.

I've been keeping the mountain on our right...

I've been watching the sun all afternoon and sighting on that mountaintop.

I've lost my money, I've lost my club, and now I've lost my guests.

I've seen the future, Sparky, and we're not in it.

If I refused, Mr. Zerbe implied that he could have England's legs broken.

If the world is going to hell in a bucket, I want to hold the handle.

If they don't move, shoot them.

If we don't know what direction we're going in...

If you get caught, I don't know you, okay? Be cool.

If you really want something, ask that guy over there.

Imagine trying to run a first class hotel on this island.

In Chicago. Belmont Harbor.

In Cleveland and moving to the islands.

In fact, they bribed me to do it.

In seminal fluid, I do think it's rather important we have a chat.

In single file off this beach, and we don't stop for anything.

Incredible! The guy's got a heart like Dumbo.

Inexpensive, very cheap. In fact, free.

Instead of so much cologne.

Into my kitchen, yet. It is unsanitary.

Into some sand, you start thinking about giving up the dry cleaning business...

Is anybody crazy? Where's breakfast?

Is the guest bedroom. It's for rent, you know.

Islands like Saint Nicholas make such nice missile bases...

Isn't it great, Randy? Isn't it fantastic?

Isn't that incredible?

Isn't that the runway?

It does matter, pal, because your Prime Minister's gone completely nuts.

It happens all the time.

It has come to me...

It isn't bad as all that.

It seems that this island is about to be bought...

It takes 45 minutes to get a drink on this island.

It would be cruel to let him out on a night like this.

It'll take more than paint and new grass on the roof to turn that place around.

It's a Burmese. They're swallowers, not biters.

It's a crazy world, isn't it?

It's a pain in the ass. Get rid of the horses, you'd have a good game.

It's a snake! Don't panic!

It's about your friend Jack what's his name and that club.

It's all right. You're right. It's very, very boogooyaga.

It's amazing how people can get themselves in these situations...

It's businessmen. You and your bankers and your lawyers...

It's Friday, Mary Lou, and nothing's happened, yet.

It's gonna take 20 years to smoke this stuff.

It's good for the lats, good for the pecs.

It's muggy.

It's no problem, Mr. Reed. You're probably so hot right now you can get elected Pope.

It's one of the best places in the world in which to be poor.

It's primal and it's honest.

It's The Girl from lpanema. It's fictional, that thing.

It's the new Saint Nicholas.

Jack, can you hear me?

Jack, I just want to know one thing.

Jack, Jack! Oh, Jesus! Jack!

Jack, this is Captain Toby Prooth and Phillipa Lloyd.

Jack!

Jack!

Jackie, don't be pathetic, okay?

Jackie, please. I don't want to get busted.

Jackie, that is so obvious. I can't believe you're doing that.

Jeez, I hope not. If that runway was any shorter, it'd be a patio.

Jesus Christ! Linda, what are you doing?

Jesus, it's spreading. God damn it!

Just because some hippies want to do bed and breakfast on the beach.

Just go over and keep them occupied for a couple of minutes. Go, go, go!

Just land this plane!

Keep it right there.

Kill them all!

Kinky!

Last time I smoked that stuff, they found me on top of the Sears Tower...

Let me know what's happening. Let me know what the spread is.

Let me start them.

Let's face it, Heinz, we're not in Switzerland.

Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go.

Let's roll, Noel. Listen, can we talk?

Let's see it. Let's see it.

Life is full of miracles.

Like him. Not the ears, the heart.

Like how long? Five minutes? Ten minutes? Half an hour?

Limbo time, everybody. How low can you go?

Limbo time. How low can you go? Go, go, go!

Linda, the sky is yours.

Linda!

Linda.

Listen, buddy, I'm trying to stop a war, okay? Give me a break.

Listen, Doc. Let her have some fun.

Listen, you gotta do us a favor.

Look at this. We walk into the Taj Mahal, and I'm wearing a towel.

Look, why don't you come and tell me what the problem is.

Look! Look, man!

Looks like lady luck took a hike on you. You ready to go home?

Love to!

Loved the tropics. It was me she couldn't stand.

Make it 15. We'll get together one day. We'll have lunch.

Make them happy, and jump them when they're not looking.

Man, look at all this weed. We are set for life with this stash.

Man, the deal's cut. The weed's coming. One of us has gotta stay here.

May I call you Sol?

Maybe a fisheye or something like that. It's huge in the picture.

Maybe not right away.

Me running a club in the tropics. People winging in from all over the world.

Meat.

Morning, everyone. One brief announcement.

Mr. Big has yet to make a public appearance...

Mr. Gundy.

Mr. Gundy...

Mr. Reed is the owner, manager, and musical entertainment director...

Mr. Reed, Miss Phillipa Lloyd. Mr. Toby Prooth.

Mrs. White, it's not that they're not beautiful...

Must see a man about a job.

My baby.

My dear young lady, unlike you...

My dear, the Americans will move in and turn it into Miami Beach...

Nah. Thanks, but no thanks.

National Defense Reserve Army Guard...

Naval stations, money laundries.

Never.

Nevertheless, if you do have a nook which is not actually knee deep...

Nice outfit.

Nice smoke.

Nice to see you again, Ernest.

Nice to see you, too, Mr. Gundy.

Nice, warm islands.

No little mouths to feed?

No need to panic, it's just in case there's a civil war today.

No phone, no mail, no electricity, no nothing.

No prisoners!

No problem, I will talk to them. I will reason with them.

No seeds? Nice and clean?

No, actually, I'm retired.

No, but it sounds like fun.

No, come on now, they're not rebels. Just a local ROTC drill team.

No, honey, I don't want to play any Wiffle tennis.

No, I just got it.

No, I think the guests will be allowed to graze for a few more minutes...

No, I'm a snuggler.

No, not really.

No, thanks. If I wanted to be kept, I'd pick someone with better prospects.

No, thanks. They don't bother me.

No, there are no snakes. They introduced the mongoose here...

No, this is not a hiking crowd.

No, we'll be okay.

No, we're close.

No, we've decided to stay here for the rest of the week.

No!

No?

No.

No. Fun is not even the word for it.

No. Smoke, J's, joints, buzz.

No. Thank the Queen for me...

No. While you have been occupied in fishing loose diaphragms...

Nobody do that to me and get away with it.

Not just a little bit. I want a big bag, no twigs and sticks...

Nothing could be more fun than jumping off a cliff with two German bisexuals.

Nothing. I just always wanted to do that with a cup.

Now a very, very special guest, ladies and gentlemen...

Now I know. They are out to get me. There they are now.

Now I want an answer. Are you ready to sell?

Now you both are free to go.

Now you gotta slow down and figure this out.

Now you're fired! Get out of here.

Now, as Minister of Finance and Minister of Tourism...

Now, go after Reed if you have to. But first, settle this strike.

Now, I love your hair, man. It's natural hair, and you're a natural man.

Now, I've been working in better hotels than this for 25 years.

Now, if you will excuse me...

Now, if you're not drinking and you're not dancing, you better be going.

Now, now, Tony...

Now, Sol...

Now, when I became Prime Minister of Saint Nicholas...

Now, will you excuse me? Ta ta.

Obviously not.

Of one of the guests picking a 5 foot hair out of their tuna salad.

Oh, all right.

Oh, be careful of the soldiers. They'll shoot you on sight.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

Oh, come on.

Oh, dear. Am I too late for the main event?

Oh, for Christ's sake! I know we should have gone to Acapulco.

Oh, forget it. Take my advice, sell it.

Oh, God! Could we go there?

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, I don't know, Jack. It might be fun for a while...

Oh, it's just been five months. But tempus really fugits when you're having fun.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, thanks.

Oh, no. You're not going anywhere.

Oh, really? And what island are you from?

Oh, shit!

Oh, that's a nice buzz.

Oh, the formerly honorable Anthony Croyden Hayes. Your Excellency.

Oh, the usual. Corruption. Injustice.

Oh, y our Grace.

Oh, yeah, rattan's gonna make a great bulletproof barricade.

Okay, come on.

Okay.

Okay. Don't bust a blood vessel. You want a stroke? A stroke is this.

Okay. Stay cool. Stay cool.

One grade, oven ready, self basting.

One joint? What kind of dealer are you?

One more move and I'll shoot.

One, two, three, showtime.

Onward, troops!

Or I'm sending those pictures of you eating pork.

Or is the water always going to be like that?

Or the Russians and Cubans will come and turn the whole island into bloody Albania.

Our ancestral, if not native, home!

Our Prime Minister starts scurrying around like a mongoose in heat.

Out of my way, Jack. I don't want to hurt you.

Out of the swimming pool filters...

Over to the side. Yeah, yeah. Stay back.

Pansy, do me a favor. Tell all the survivors, I mean, guests...

Pansy, double. Anything.

Pardon me. Mr. Reed, we have a conference with you outside.

People are all right. It's the business I can't stand.

People are so quick to flee these days.

People of Saint Nicholas!

Permanently and totally disabled in the line of duty.

Philadelphia, I should have taken your advice.

Phillipa is my people. Why don't we all get out of here?

Phillipa.

Please, Sol, I hate liver. Relax.

Please. Yes, I'll hold.

Plus medical, dental...

Portia, I'd like you to meet your new assistant cook.

Prooth, I'll be stopping by the Club Paradise later.

Punctuated by the occasional bloodbath. I think we're due for one at any minute.

Radical. Yes, man. Evening, girls.

Raise the minimum wage to $1 a day.

Randy, I want to be naked for the rest of my life.

Randy, I want to get to a place where I don't care about money.

Randy, I'm not about to eat real sugar.

Randy, I'm not going home with bra lines.

Randy, please, put the brochure away.

Randy, there's no water.

Randy, this place isn't air conditioned.

Randy, you do not save a marriage without air conditioning.

Randy, you may have to try just a little bit harder.

Randy!

Randy!

Randy!

Randy!

Randy!

Read this, pal, and weep.

Ready?

Really?

Really?

Rebels!

Refreshing outlook.

Right here waiting for you.

Right on.

Right there, next to the nuclear power plant.

Right!

Roll one for me.

Save our seats. We'll be right back, okay?

Say he was good, too.

She might write a real nice piece about this place.

She's lighting it here. Is this cool, or what?

Shh!

Shit!

Shit.

So even if we had to cross from shore to shore...

So I think I should change it and put down, instead of "private," "secluded."

So let me get this get this straight. The deal is that we're riding in a car...

So long, Constable.

So my uncle and I are going down to the islands...

So what's the deal?

So, come on, get out there, mingle.

Sol, don't go legal on me now.

Sol, I hope we're not gonna blow this thing...

Sol, the boys are back. Our ship has come in.

Sol, what is it? Are you all right? You look like you ate a ghost.

Sol, what's going on?

Soldiers, I order you to disperse that crowd at once.

Some godforsaken... Nice deal, good negotiating. That's good.

Somebody could really make something out of that. Don't you think?

Someone took it out, and they didn't bring it back.

Sometimes three days, all day, all night.

Son of a bitch.

Sound good?

Stall out! Stall out!

Stay cool. Got to figure out where I am. Figure...

Stay cool. Stay cool.

Still the bold fireman?

Still. Still. Stay.

Strictly crew.

Sure, go start a revolution!

Sure, it's only fair.

Sure, what's your name?

Sure, you kidding? A guy like you in New y ork with money in his pocket?

Surrender, Ernest Reed...

Take care. See you in the 17th century.

Take that...

Taking up the game, Mr. Zerbe?

Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna pay you.

Tell you what. I'll make you a deal.

Terribly sorry.

Terry, I think you'll find when you travel a little bit more...

Thank you.

Thank you. I told you I was injured.

That building's an inferno, my stomach's a goddamn volcano...

That hair is a downright, everlasting disgrace.

That hasn't been used 100 times already.

That Marlin Perkins would be afraid to go in.

That things are different here in the Third World.

That you are delinquent in your taxes to the amount of $6,000...

That's 10 people lost in one day. What is this, the Bermuda Triangle?

That's a blender.

That's a song. It's not a place.

That's always bothered me about the Third World.

That's it, Randy. I can't go on.

That's it. I think you're having too much fun. Come on.

That's it. This is my last fire. I'm hanging up my hose.

That's too bad. This looks like a great beach.

That's what I like about the Cayman Islands.

That's what I love about you tourists: The instant you get your pink feet...

That's why people like me live in the West Indies.

The '60s are over, pal.

The bus leaves in five minutes, be on it...

The club's doing great. What's the problem?

The deal is, major score of domestic homegrown...

The fact is, one can smell the suntan oil...

The fireman told me to check you out. I believe you're a journalist?

The fireman, Moniker.

The Governor General of Saint Nicholas, Sir Anthony Croyden Hayes.

The longest it would take would be four hours...

The man has the warmth of a snow pea. Come on, you can live here...

The people, the government, the businesses, the natural resources.

The problem is, my friend's a little behind on his taxes.

The roots, yeah, of all music. I thought it was jazz, but l...