Planet 51 Edit

A cork?

A harrowing ordeal at the hands of the alien monster.

A house, a car, two kids, they'll grow up and have kids.

A pleasure, General.

A universe of mystery.

Actually, it's kind of flattering.

Ah! Here it is, So, You've Been Invaded by Aliens.

Ah! Now, we'll have that brain out in no time.

Ah! There you are. I was just warming up for you.

Aliens are quite like us, except they have two sets of teeth,

Aliens?

All of these costumes! Sir, how do we find the alien?

All right, class, let's try it one more time.

All right, if you won't tell us,

All right, let's get these aliens to Base 9!

All right!

All right!

All we need is a safe place, that TV reporter,

Along with these three soldiers.

Am I a zombie now?

Amazing! The alien's brain is so powerful,

An alien invader spends over $500

An alien planet. Hello!

An astronaut.

An incision here and here,

And are bravely going about their normal routines.

And don't bother taking over my mind.

And don't forget to pick up your planetary yo yos.

And each galaxy has billions of stars,

And each galaxy has billions of stars.

And get it over with?

And graze Corporal Hisk.

And handcuff the big guy to the steering wheel.

And head back to the Kids' Choice Awards. I'm getting slimed.

And I think maybe you have, too,

And it contains, you're not going to believe this,

And it's not Chuck.

And just when you think that it means the end of everything you know,

And my... And my chest?

And next to that, our planet is just...

And now, I'm the most wanted super criminal in the world.

And put your hands in the air.

And speaking of survival,

And still, the only known intelligent life

And that smell...

And the rest of you, go to your homes and wait for instructions.

And then she says that, "Oh, that's so cute,"

And then we can all get on with our lives.

And this is a list of surrender terms.

And turn us into an army of zombies and destroy our world.

And why don't you just ask her out already,

And you give candy to your puppy so he'll poop jelly beans.

And you sent back pictures of rocks?

And, if it's number three,

And, like, eat our brains?

And... And my Humaniacs poster?

Any puff pastry, too. Thanks.

Are sparks flying or is this place

Are they hostile? Will our species survive?

Are we upset, really?

Are you considered very ugly on this planet?

Are you crazy?

Are you getting...

Are you kidding me?

As tro nau t.

As you can see, the army is taking positions,

Ass...

At least you have a world.

Attention!

Aw!

Baby, tomorrow I go up in space, maybe never to return.

Bad boy! Bad boy.

Base destruct in 15 seconds.

Be a good boy,

Because he's got the right stuff.

Because I'm handsome? Because I'm an astronaut?

Before we begin, I have a technical question.

Besides, they're all the same.

Better let me do the talking.

BOTH: Command us, Master.

BOTH: Oh, wow!

BOTH: Victory or extinction!

BOY 1: My car!

Brains are for breakfast with cereal and milk.

Brains? That's right, brains!

But find that alien.

But give me a call when you get to the '60s,

But how did you get out?

But how? It's impossible without Rover!

But I need someone who doesn't always believe what he's been told.

But I suppose you could leave me stranded.

But I think I know who can. In the meantime at the landing site,

But I'm telling you, the unknown isn't something to be afraid of.

But it's also because of Chuck Baker's three steps to romance.

But Lem was about to ask me something.

But we don't know where it is.

But you didn't hear what I was gonna...

But, hey, they'll get by without a father.

But, no, I'm marooned here on this stupid rock!

But, uh, he's a zombie, and those two.

Bye!

Bye.

Call the General! Call the General!

Can you change your skin to this color?

Can you help me?

Captain Kisno, get everyone out of here.

Captain, get your men!

Captain, I want the whole base on red alert!

Captain, mobilize the army.

Captain, place me under arrest.

Captain, search the town. Go door to door if you must,

Captain, thanks for coming back for me.

Captain! Sir.

Chuck, come on!

CHUCK: (CHUCKLING) Whoa.

CHUCK: (ON TV) ...going on a journey. Huh?

CHUCK: You really think you can get me on TV?

Chuck!

Circling that star is a planet called Earth.

Coffee, light, two sugars.

Come on, boys, let's track down this story.

Come on, Eckle. Go help your father.

Come on, Lem!

Come on, soldier. Take that hill.

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Come on. You knew about Neera.

Command me, too.

Cool.

Corporal Hisk has orders to electrocute everyone.

CORPORAL: It's getting away!

CORPORAL: Ready?

CROWD: We're really upset! We're really upset!

Crush, kill, destroy. Bang, bang! Ha, ha!

Diabolical!

Diabolical.

Did I happen to mention I'm not ugly?

Did you just say what I think you just said?

Different.

Difficult to tell.

Dinner is organs and eyeballs.

Do you have any Frappuccino up here?

Do you still believe the alien is friendly?

Doc, that brain operation was inspired.

Don't look in its eyes.

Don't lose him, sir!

Don't move! ♪ I'm gonna tell Aunt Mary about Uncle John

Don't shoot! Don't shoot.

Don't you ever run off like that.

Don't your legs grow back?

Drop your weapon! You.

Duck?

Duh!

Each man has a designated target in the squad.

Eckle, this isn't a comic book, okay? It's serious.

Either your name is Lem, or you want to mate with me.

Eleven. We have 11 kids, always hungry. Yeah. Yeah.

Especially you, Bubbles.

Even yours!

Ever since we moved next door to you.

Everybody, please, that's ridiculous.

Everyone on board! Let's go!

Excuse me! General! He does go to the high school.

Excuse me.

FEMALE VOICE: (OVER PA) Base destruct, two minutes.

FEMALE VOICE: Attention, all personnel. Evacuate base immediately.

FEMALE VOICE: Base destruct, 60 seconds.

Finally! We've been looking for you!

Fire at will!

First of all, it's supposed to be uninhabited, okay?

Five, four, three, two, one.

Flarc, you were too slow. Go join the zombies.

For pod people, dial 2.

Gee, that would be a great honor.

General Grawl, you better take a look at this.

General, I know what you're afraid of,

General, over there. Aren't those comic books?

General, you must capture the alien alive and bring it to me.

General, you must save its brain!

Get in!

Get one of me looking up at the stars.

Get out of here.

Getting ready for our first close encounter

GIRL: I knew this would happen if we made out!

Give them their daily minimum dose of Chuck.

Give us a preview of what we'll learn.

GLAR: Upset we really are! PROTESTORS: Yeah.

GLAR: We're really upset! PROTESTORS: (APATHETICALLY) Yeah.

Glar's involved with something he calls "protesting."

Glar's just trying to say the aliens might be friendly.

Go on! Go! Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go get it!

Good going, boy!

Good shot, son.

Got you, alien! Victory or extinction!

Grab him!

Grab him! SOLDIER: Yes, sir!

GRAWL: Step away from the flying saucer!

Great hiding spot. I call the closet.

Great!

Great! Just great!

Gross!

Guys!

Guys! This is so Luke Skywalker!

Ha, ha! Hello, Plark, if that really is you.

Ha! Just as I thought. You're not Lem.

HAGLUG: Skiff, time to unpack the fake alien poop.

Hair. He likes it long.

Hang on, Chuck. We'll find you.

Hasta la vista, baby. You are terminated.

Have a nice day, Serbok,

Have your men search the flying saucer.

He thinks we've found him.

He's a probe we sent to take pictures of your world.

He's all yours.

Hello, Humaniacs!

Hello? Anyone here?

Hello? Are you there?

Hello? Are you there?

Hello? Yes, hello.

Hello. Not, "Hello."

Help!

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby. What?

Hey, fella. Who wants a donut?

Hey, he did it! He got the job!

Hey, I can see my whole life.

Hey, I'm not the alien here. You are.

Hey, is this guy giving you bad vibrations?

Hey, it's Lem!

Hey, kid, what's bugging you?

Hey, Lem, something wrong?

Hey, Lem.

Hey, look.

Hey, Master! We want to be destroyed, too!

Hey, maybe they could get me on my ship.

Hey, Neera,

Hey, Neera! Hi! Hi!

Hey, Neera! I've been looking all over for you.

Hey, Neera.

Hey, take care of this guy, okay?

Hey, what do you think?

Hey, what's that?

Hey, you try wearing the same suit for three weeks.

Hey! A planet full of aliens,

Hey! Look, look, look. I'm paying! I'm paying!

Hi!

Hi.

Hide? Bravo, General.

High four! Whoo hoo!

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hold on. The whole army's looking for you two.

Hold your fire, soldier.

Hold your fire!

Hold your fire!

Honey, tell Lem we have guests.

Houston, we have a little problem.

How about it, Professor?

How come I have to go to the dentist

How did you do, Lem? Got the job!

How do we get in without being seen?

How much time is left?

How will we know who is a zombie?

How will you survive without a sparkling smile?

How's your species at hiding?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? Huh?

Huh? Huh?

Humaniacs lll: The Final Battle for Our World.

Hurry up. Go! Go! Go! Go!

Hypodermic fingertips and hypnotic eyes to control our brains

I already used that one.

I am definitely coming back here.

I can breathe! I can breathe!

I can shoot myself.

I can't be seen breaking the law. I've got the right stuff.

I can't help you.

I can't leave him here.

I can't say.

I don't even fly the ship. It's all automatic.

I don't have the right stuff, like you.

I don't have time for kids' movies anymore.

I don't mind. It comes with being a national hero.

I don't suppose your planet's invented painkillers?

I don't want to hear a single bubble.

I get it. He can tell everyone he's peaceful.

I got this guy wrapped around my little finger.

I got you!

I have to get to my ship and go back up in space.

I hear it's just one easy step up to Senior Assistant Curator.

I just remembered, my job.

I knew you could do it.

I know I was kind of harsh.

I left my hair products on the ship, but I could improvise.

I love fake alien poop day.

I mean, I totally respect that.

I mean, I'm okay.

I mean, it just went over the...

I mean, look at her.

I mean, unless you need help with the hive.

I mean, what a bummer.

I mean, would you want to...

I mean, you're not like a thousand year old Yoda or anything?

I never had the right stuff.

I only got this far on charm and my rugged good looks.

I protest!

I really hope this doesn't affect our working relationship.

I release you. Return to your puny life.

I saw the alien last night. I am so in.

I saw you across the bar.

I shoot Kolski. No. You shoot Meckavoy.

I should be governor, minimum!

I spent four years at a party school. Trust me, it's mush.

I suppose next you'll say aliens don't exist.

I think he's eyeing you for dessert.

I think I know when I'm being mind controlled.

I think Lem's saying he wants the closet.

I think so.

I thought I might tell her I got the job.

I want it destroyed, one little piece at a time.

I want my life back, unless, I don't know,

I want to control your brains. It's inside my head!

I wanted to tell you, I got the job.

I was gonna teach him to beg and everything.

I went across the fricking universe!

I will be taken apart and studied.

I will unlock the secrets of its marvelous brain.

I... GLAR: ♪ Lem!

I'd like to cause him some pain.

I'll be right back with the reporter. I'm leaving you in charge.

I'll befriend them, show my executive skills, and bam! I'm in.

I'll lose everything. My life was just getting perfect.

I'll probably never see mine again.

I'll remove his brain, too.

I'll tell you what it's going to be.

I'll tell you what, eat this.

I'm a button pusher, Spam in a can.

I'm a planetarium professional now.

I'm afraid your son is a zombie.

I'm Captain Charles T. Baker, astronaut.

I'm going to go find Chuck.

I'm going to have to pilot this bucket.

I'm hearing an irritating, piercing voice in the back of my head.

I'm leaning toward "probably not."

I'm more concerned with saving a world.

I'm not going to get caught.

I'm not taking my eyes off Kisno. Drop it, dirtbag!

I'm on Facebook!

I'm pretending we never met.

I'm really not that kind of a girl.

I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry, Professor. It's too dangerous

I've found the alien!

I've got a list of the fattest teachers in my school

I've never gone parking before.

I've never seen such a heinous weapon.

I've put in the hours and done a lot of alien research at work.

I've spent my whole life running from it,

If it gets damaged again, we'll have to pay for it.

If it's the end of the world, Mom?

If they catch me helping you, who knows what they'll do to me?

If this fails, the entire base is rigged to blow at the touch of a button.

If you do, Captain Kisno has orders to shoot me.

If you guys go in costume,

If you have to do a number one, use these papers.

If you have to do a number two, go outside.

If you take over Captain Kisno's mind,

If you take over Lieutenant Groit's mind,

If you've spotted an alien fleet, dial 1.

In case you're looking for a light snack.

In charge?

In fine fettle. What a salubrious experience!

Invasion by 50 foot woman?

Invasion by sea monsters.

Invasion or not, you've got to go.

Is right here on our planet.

Is this place sparking

It can be your best friend.

It goes back to Earth without me. Capisce?

It has to leave in 74 hours, and if I'm not on it,

It means I have a lot of courage.

It says, "Surrender or die,"

It should pop right out.

It was almost over!

It was just an experiment.

It's 500 miles long

It's a miracle I'm gonna need.

It's about 20 billion miles away, give or take.

It's all right, Chief. He's with me.

It's called hotwiring.

It's controlling them even now.

It's either me or Glar.

It's how they start cars on Earth.

It's kind of cute, the way he does that.

It's kind of private.

It's like Glar says, "The times,

It's like when you shout about stuff that makes you upset.

It's not Glar or Neera. It's Lem.

It's not monsters or aliens.

It's not. It's so much bigger than we can imagine.

It's okay.

It's really just the beginning.

It's running out of fuel.

It's the girl of my dreams, and now she hates me.

It's the unknown.

It's there again! It's me, you moron.

It's too painful to talk about.

It's trying to control our minds.

It's very big on my planet.

It's you, of course.

It's your best defense against the aliens' favorite form of research.

John Glenn goes around the world, he's a senator for life.

Just enough.

Just like in The War of the Worlds,

Just to the left of me here, everything is checked and double checked.

Keep firing. Keep firing! Keep firing!

Keep your eyes on the aliens.

Kid, how would you like to be president

Kid, I'm going down anyway.

Kid...

Kill any aliens, Lem? Kill any... Oh, no, you don't understand.

Kill every last alien!

Kiss the ship goodbye, Rover.

Knew you would.

Lem,

Lem, come on out!

Lem, congratulations on that job.

Lem, I understand you'll be working right here after you graduate,

Lem, there's someone you'd like to...

Lem, um, I was thinking...

Lem, you left everyone hanging!

LEM: (WHISPERING) Trust me. Trust me.

LEM: Space,

LEM: Uh, Neera, you have to choose.

Lem! The cork!

Lem?

Lem?

Lem?

Let me tell you, this alien's not so scary.

Let the doctor handle this.

Let's hear it for the finalists.

Let's make our last night a night

Let's move!

Let's start over.

Lieutenant Groit has orders to shoot him.

LIEUTENANT: Hazmat team, go! SOLDIER: Sir!

Look at it, Professor. It's hideous.

Look at it! Look at the dog!

Look at me. Watch this.

Look at you. You're so left brain.

Look out! The monster!

Look, I said I'd take you to your flying saucer, okay?

Look, there's a command module in orbit right now.

Lose the antennae, get some plastic surgery, she's a hottie.

Make us slaves.

Make your move.

MAN: Attention, all personnel.

MAN: I'm hungry, guys.

MAN: The General, too.

MAN'S VOICE: Hello. This is the alien hotline.

May I give you some tasty suggestions for tonight?

Maybe a week.

Maybe it's time that you and me...

Maybe next time you have guests

Maybe she just dislikes you.

Maybe there's something else you want to ruin.

Maybe we could...

Maybe you should go.

Me and green bean need to talk.

Me, I have a plan.

Me?

Me? You are.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm. Okay, right, so, this is the last street we're gonna do today.

Mmm?

Mmm?

Mmm?

Mmm?

Mmm. Uh...

Mom, don't come in!

Mom! Dad! There's a ship in the...

Mom?

Mom? Mom! Don't come in!

MOTHER: That's not true.

Move it!

Move it! Move it! Move it! Go!

Move.

My legs?

My little Rovie.

My mission was to plant Old Glory, whack a few golf balls

My mom's a zombie! Help!

My ship!

My wife will have to support the kids.

My wish is your command.

Neera, we need you! Righteous momma!

NEERA: Lem!

NEERA: Whoa!

Neera! I need to talk to you.

Neera.

Neither.

Never mind them, Professor.

Never mind. Look, kid, you're my only hope.

Next to that, kid, our planets are just dust in the wind.

No problemo, man!

No sign of the pilot, sir.

No way! Let's go fight the army.

No, aliens.

No, I mean are you here to take over our world

No, no, no, no! No! No, no.

No, not today! Not today! Please.

No, you are.

No! No! Get off!

No! No! No! No! No!

No! No! No! No! No!

No! We're not like your kind, okay?

No! You first.

No! You're making a mistake! He's friendly!

No.

Not full of sea monkeys dancing to the oldies.

Not so fast, General. I've trained my superior intellect

Not that it exists.

Not the tongue. Not the...

Not yet!

Now go!

Now our brave soldiers are entering the alien spaceship.

Now, let's see. Invasion by giant ants.

Now!

Of the local Chuck Baker, Party Maker Fan Club?

OFFICER: It's in the Containment Room. Lock this section down, now!

Oh, boy!

Oh, come on. No one's around.

Oh, good. Good.

Oh, good. Then you do it.

Oh, great! Just great! Fired.

Oh, great! This day gets better and better.

Oh, great. Let's just have a party!

Oh, great. Now look what you did. You made him really upset.

Oh, hi, Neera.

Oh, I hate the rain.

Oh, I'm so honored,

Oh, just great! Perfect!

Oh, Lem! Lem, you know astronomy.

Oh, Lem! We're so glad you're not a zombie!

Oh, look. That's perfect. That's great.

Oh, no, I'm good.

Oh, no? Then what do you call this?

Oh, shut up. It's me.

Oh, that's so sweet. I think.

Oh, uh, we're not here to enter the contest.

Oh, we're so proud of you.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah? In space, no one can hear you scream!

Oh, you... You like the stone? You like the stone?

Oh!

Oh! "The cause, man."

Oh! Gotta go. You know, my boss.

Oh! Huh?

Oh! Speaking of "bam! I'm in..."

Oh! This poor boy's obviously a zombie.

Oh. I thought you were after the alien.

Okay, but every time you tell me to tell her something,

Okay, but if he's not housebroken, you're cleaning up his mess.

Okay, everyone, everyone, please, listen up.

Okay, here's the plan.

Okay, keep back.

Okay.

Okay. You know your problem?

On fire?

One thing we do know is

Ooh!

Oops!

Oops.

Open wide or the big, bad monster will get you.

Or do you want to stay here?

Or happy because

Or harvested or having our brains barbecued.

Or is fire making this a night to show no mercy?

Or is it right brain? Whatever.

Or it was until you came along and ruined everything!

Or should I call you by your alien name?

Ouch, Mom! ALL: Command us, Master!

Ouch!

Out!

Over 1,000 stars.

Over here!

Ow! Glar's not the alien!

Ow! Got you!

Ow! Ladies! One at a time! Chuck!

Peace.

Plus, there's another guy, Glar.

Private, come here.

Professor Kipple!

Professor, take a look.

Psst! Lem, come on! Liven it up.

Quick, hotwire the car!

Raining rocks and dogs.

Remarkable! I can't.

Remember, anyone caught helping the aliens

REPORTER: ...an extensive search.

REPORTER: It doesn't look big enough to be a space destroyer.

REPORTER: Quick, cover the camera!

REPORTER: The flying saucer is going to an undisclosed location

Right away, Mr. Haglug.

Right, men, move it!

Rover found me. He's also programmed to find my ship.

Rover here will take us right to my ship.

Rover, Rover, can you find Chuck? Where's Chuck?

Rover, you coming?

Rover!

Rover!

Rover! My little bitty boy!

Rover! Rover!

Rover?

Rover? Boy, am I glad to see you! Rover!

Say something else. Like what?

Say, why don't you just harvest my organs

Seal off the town. I want that alien pilot found.

See that star, the little red one?

SERBOK: It's you. It's you!

Sergeant York will shoot Captain Kisno, Lieutenant Groit and myself,

She asks why don't you just tell her yourself?

She is so heavy!

Should I be terrified because it's the end of the world

Should you succeed in taking over all our minds,

Show no mercy.

Sick is befriending a creature that's so completely

Sick is...

Sick, young lady, is helping the enemy of your world.

Sick?

Silly dog!

Simple, Captain. Like us, the alien is in uniform.

Sit, Rover! Sit! Stop! Heel! Roll over! Come back! Listen...

Skiff, I'm not a zombie.

Skiff, stop. He's not here to eat us or anything. He's harmless

Skiff, the comic book store, let's go there.

Skiff, you were right about Base 9.

SKIFF: I called it. The only question is,

SKIFF: Rover!

Skiff!

So they've come.

So, nothing I knew was right?

So, um, Eckle, do you think your sister's home?

SOLDIER 1: Okay, let's start at this end.

SOLDIER 1: Ooh, it's dark in here.

SOLDIER: Check the papers.

SOLDIER: Go back to your homes. Show's over.

SOLDIER: Go on.

SOLDIER: Got you! Rover? No!

SOLDIER: Left flank. Move it! Move it!

SOLDIER: Move it! Move it! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

SOLDIER: Move! Move! Move! Move! Move!

SOLDIER: Our preliminary procedures have been completed, sir.

SOLDIER: There he is!

SOLDIER: You're mine, Hecknavar!

Soldiers, attention!

SOLDIERS: Run! Run!

Soon, we will crush the rebel alliance and control the galaxy.

Sorry, Mr. Hucklo. It's just for one little night.

Sorry, pal. Too dangerous. But...

Space isn't 500 miles.

Spot your prey.

Still no trace of the alien, sir.

Strap in, everyone, 'cause I'm taking you home.

Such a big universe.

Take her away.

Take that!

Take us to your leader.

Teaching about the mysteries of space.

Tell me something the real Lem would know.

Tell us your invasion plans!

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

Thanks for asking.

Thanks for everything.

Thanks to science, we now know

That is sick!

That means it's not good.

That means, "See you later."

That they show no respect for our parking laws.

That was a, uh, man hug, just then.

That won't be necessary. Hecknavar, you shoot Kolski, Captain Kisno

That's a funny place for his antenna.

That's a sensible young man. Let him go.

That's amazing! You speak my language.

That's how they take over your brain.

That's not what's going on.

That's our planet after the attack of the Humaniacs.

That's where they have his ship.

That's your plan? What if they start shooting?

The alien is right here. ♪ And that's stick it to the man

The alien!

The alien!

The battle for our world has begun.

The cause needs you.

The cause.

The citizens of Glipforg are undaunted by alien invaders

The cork! Remember the plan!

The doctor is in.

The girl of my dreams likes me?

The greatest source of scientific knowledge.

The High Command taking control of the situation...

The important thing here is you avoid

The only plan here is to get Chuck on TV.

The probe.

The spacecraft is quarantined.

The thing with the...

The universe is nearly 500 miles long

The universe isn't scary. It's really amazing.

The what?

The what? The right stuff.

The whole planet will watch.

The whole planet? Interesting.

Then what is?

Then why are you dressed like aliens?

There is among us

There it is! Stop!

There it is. Just two more days.

There was never a chance you'd get away.

There's another way to unlock the secrets of your brain.

There's billions of galaxies,

There's billions of galaxies,

There's no need for you to come with me.

There's no time for autopilot.

There's no way space is that big.

There's nothing to be scared of.

There's the comic book store. Let's go.

There's your flying saucer. Now what?

These soldiers aren't...

They'll come home to visit on holidays.

They're gonna eat our brains for dinner!

They're gonna freak back at Kennedy.

They're gonna need a native to run the mines.

They've got him at the comic book shop.

Things are going to be different around here.

This boy is free!

This guy reads too many comic books.

This is amazing! I was right again!

This is obviously alien writing.

This is the best day of my life.

This reporter is now going to reveal to you where that location is.

This stupid rock is my home,

This thing has all the answers.

Thought you could take over our world?

Time to meet the monster face to face.