United States of Al (2021) - Season 1 Edit

A '63 Corvette Stingray. Mint condition.

A 14 day moon?

A bird?Birds are great.

A car like that since I was a child.

A circle with three smaller circles.

A circle.Excellent!

A couple of mai tais, it's my dream vacation.

A couple talks to each other.Hmm.

A different conversation.

A dog's tongue is cleaner than a human's.

A few weeks.Ooh.

A few words. And I do mean "a few."

A fistful of grasshoppers.

A girlfriend maybe?

A hundred die from coconuts falling out of trees.

A little bit of that.Ah.

A little of that.

A little, but we really like a game called buzkashi.

A man as wonderful as Mr. Art should have a loving partner.

A men's clothing store. He'll hook you up.

A million women could not fill it.

A perfectly normal handkerchief.

A shoulder to cry on.

A slideshow and a bunch of really old guys

A small dog the size of an ant will grow inside her stomach.

A spark? What does a spark have to do with anything?

A state and a river

A testament to your love.

A webcam so I can watch him sleep.

A welcome.

A wheel of cheese?

A woman from Franklinton just ordered ravioli

A, small town speed traps,

Aah! [mutters]

About being on leave in Thailand.

About Freddy earlier. I just...

About how nobody wants to hang out with you

About ordering a pizza?

About sleeping with Paul Newman

About that.

About your brother.

Absolutely not. He loved you.

Absolutely, Paula.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

According to Shawn, "bag boy" is demeaning.

Actually, I am your neighbor and my name is Al.

Actually... no.

Affect even the toughest guys.

Afghanistan.

Afghanistanish?

After dinner, it would be my honor to take you for a drive.

After he died, his mom gave them to me.

After I asked you to fix the damn chimney!

After Lieutenant General Chesty Puller.

After they wheeled him out of the operating room,

After we get your family over here.

After which you'll both say

After you. You are the elder.

Again, why?

Ah, ah! I mean it.

Ah, but it's been a while.

Ah, damn it.

Ah, damn.

Ah, don't cry. I...

Ah, Freddy is just showing us

Ah, geez, you're writing in cursive?

Ah, geez.

Ah, Hazelnut.

Ah, I don't know.

Ah, I hate those dog and pony shows.

Ah, I see that you have the rug I sent you.

Ah, I should go second.

Ah, in a way that makes you sad

Ah, Lizzie, do you have a minute?

Ah, Lizzie, hey, look at me, look at me.

Ah, nothing.

Ah, of course.

Ah, she is causing my family so much stress.

Ah, sis, long time.

Ah, thank you for dinner,

Ah, that's explains why it's stupid.

Ah, there you are.

Ah, there's nothing to know.

Ah, what's going on?

Ah, you made it home.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. I was looking for this.

Ah. I'm kicking myself we didn't stop

Ah. Let us see.

Ah. Mm.

Ah. Moi aussi.I can learn French.

Ah...

Ah.Are you ready?

Ah.I was good at it.

Aha.

Al and I have been doing a little recon,

Al and that lady sitting in a tree...

Al asked me if I was dating Freddy,

Al thinks she's spoiled.

Al was just standing up for himself.

Al,

Al, can you watch Hazel?

Al, come meet Freddy.

Al, do you know where my dad is?

Al, don't be weird.

Al, I don't want to put you in the middle of our problems.

Al, I lived with you for years, and never saw you pray.

Al, I screwed up.

Al, I think you might be overreacting about that dog.

Al, meet Holly.Hey, Al.

Al, over here! Aah!

Al, relax. This is a sweet little dog.

Al, sit on Tater's back.

Al, the point is don't feel bad.

Al, you got three more to go.

AL: Ah.So happy to meet you.

AL: No, no, no, Mr. Art.

AL: Oh.

AL: So,

AL: Uh, could you please come out?

Al?

Al's here?Hello, Tater.

Al's mom used to make it for us.

Al's sad.

Alhamdulillah.

Alhamdulillah.

All by yourselves?

All he had to do was show me he wanted to be a part

All of them.

All of what?

All right, Al, I'm gonna draw you something,

All right, all right.

All right, dinner.

All right, falafel isn't Afghan food.

All right, fine.

All right, go ahead. Get on out of here.

All right, here we go.

All right, I did a bunch of dumb things for no reason.

All right, I want to make a toast to Lizzie and Michael.

All right, I'm checking out.

All right, I've kept you up long enough.

All right, let me get you a beer.

All right, let us say in a perfect world he is gone.

All right, let's go home.

All right, let's take a look.

All right, Lizzie's making some signs for us to put up.

All right, me going to the V.A.

All right, Private, let's see you set up this tent.

All right, Riley, uh, try turning it over.

All right, rotisserie chicken, eight even.

All right, step into my office.

All right, suit yourself.

All right, sure. I'll give it a try.

All right, take care, buddy.

All right, that's enough.

All right, that's it. Come with me.

All right, that's not my fault.

All right, then let's stop for me.

All right, wait up.

All right, we're done talking.

All right, well, I know you're not gonna want to hear this, but

All right, well...

All right, why don't you put it in drive.

All right? One way or another, we'll get 'em out.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Come on.

All right. Get out.

All right. Great job, Hazelnut.

All right. Then, Riley,

All right. Well, what if she didn't?

All right. You don't have to get weird.

All right. You go to sleep. I'll be right back.

All righty. Hazel, how was school?

All that love and gratitude.

All that time he was with me...

All that time over there...

All the great things I've done.

All these thoughts keep coming through my mind.

All this for tinnitus?

All we found is garbage.

ALL: Wow!

Allahu Akbar.

Allahu Akbar.

Allahu...

Allahu...Put in a good word for me.

Almost every monster that Afghanistan faces

Along with supporting statements,

Also as usual.

Also very tasty.

Also, my memoir will be much longer

Although it's a little wonky over there.

Always.

Am I a bad person because I don't want them to find him?

Amazing.

Amen.

Amen.

And a lot of times they did.

And a rule for safe driving that you never follow.

And a titanium screw in my shoulder.

And Al was the one who lost his temper?

And all I got was Real Housewives of Toronto.

And all you have to show for it is a mysterious rash.

And always think you're right.

And anything we needed, they gave us.

And apply them to scholarships for Afghan women.

And asked my permission to marry you.

And before we introduce tonight's honorees,

And bring them back, I would.

And brought me to America.

And brought the other home to us.

And care for you

And did you go hungry?

And do not try to show him naked women.

And do something for you.Oh!

And do whatever it takes to get her back.

And don't eat more than three or four peaches at a time.

And don't worry, I'll cover the loss.

And eat his rice pudding.

And even then, there are some work arounds.

And forever is how long you're gonna wait.

And gave them to my cousin Mirwais,

And get you a sleeping pill?

And give 'em a piece of my mind.

And had the most beautiful laugh.

And he could be getting a check

And he doesn't come back? I'd like to play that game.

And he gave it to my other cousin Mirwais,

And he has the stones to tell me it's a different drill,

And he still is.

And he will shake your hand.

And her twin sister is a chiropractor.

And here's a page of hobbies.

And his arrogance will get him sent him straight to hell.

And how his pinky points left.

And I am looking forward to taking part in your big day.

And I am not ashamed of what I did.

And I am your secret weapon.

And I bet you enjoyed every bite of it.

And I cannot.

And I could never tell anyone where I lived

And I could see them.But you're wearing shorts.

And I do not feel guilty about it.

And I do not understand this.

And I don't have to talk to people.

And I feel sorry for the both of you.

And I had to be brave and not cry so he wouldn't be sad.

And I hate it, too.

And I haven't heard from them in two days.

And I hope one day you'll see that.

And I know he doesn't like to be called a hero,

And I know I probably should have told you

And I know that that sounds small, but under the Taliban,

And I need to contribute to this family, too.

And I only know a few phrases.

And I respect your point of view, but

And I said yes.

And I spent years fighting them.

And I thought prayer would help.

And I want to seeeverything.

And I was right not to trust him.

And I went to the party and then

And I'd wake up and be sad.

And I'll never be good enough to make the team.

And I'm happy to help.

And I'm not having any problem making payments.

And if the police approach and ask me how I'm related to her,

And if you get tired of them, you can eat them.

And in Afghanistan, a father never pays his children.

And in that moment,

And include pencil etchings.

And it was different than a movie.

And it was so scared, and then Dad runs out there

And it's definitely not Hazel's fault.

And it's gonna work?

And it's not looking like I'm gonna make

And just have, like, a million babies.

And let him be the master of his own destiny.

And let it fall into your face.

And let the chemicals do the magic.

And Lizzie can write it off.

And long sleeves around the house.

And look how everyone stopsfor the red light.

And lost her fiancé's dog tags.

And lovely woman named Tina Haggerty.

And Marines don't retreat.

And months of wasted effort.

And my car smells like the food court at the mall.

And my father poured us each a little bit.

And my worst habit was leaving my keys in the front door.

And neither did the manager at the store when I asked him.

And next is my sister Hassina. So smart.

And no military jargon, no fist bumping,

And no one is on Facebook.

And now Hazel's a fan, and you're a fan.

And now he's bunking with me in the garage.

And now one with me.

And now that I have a car,

And now they're handing the country

And now with Mr. Art.

And now, if you will allow me, a song.

And old Bertha here can see in the dark.

And on Fridays, I would fly a white kite

And open a store that sold tables,

And our credit cards aren't all...It is a perfect world!

And our vehicle got stuck in a riverbed.

And pay my respects to your honorable father.

And perhaps I was being unfair to myself.

And point your camera around the house?

And Riley, he's still figuring it out.

And saying sorry will fix everything.

And scoops him up in his jacket.

And share some rice pudding.

And shared interests.Good shared interests.

And she couldn't get ahold of me.

And she doesn't get the shots,

And smooth things out.Not a chance.

And sometimes...

And speaking of needing blessings...

And stop doing these exercises.

And talk about you guys behind your backs.

And tell 'em to mow their lawn.

And tequila last night.

And terrorize the streets at night.

And thank you for welcoming me into your home.

And that is a double standard.

And that is what the Taliban called us, "the eyes."

And that's awful, but you made a choice to help them.

And that's not even the mental health stuff.

And that's Vin Diesel's body.

And the child is right.

And the jam is pumping...

And the kind of woman he fancies.

And the money we raise is gonna help men like Al

And the mountains in the city

And the people in Kandahar call us Kabulis.

And the receipt from the deli's in the bag.

And the rest were for just being a lousy driver.

And the strip club burned down.

And the way they got it so low

And their chirping used to wake me up in the morning.

And then claimed he didn't.

And then find a kid and send them to get her number.

And then he came home and he moved out again.

And then he just left.

And then he shipped it to me after he drove back home.

And then I get ice cream?

And then I ghost her.

And then I kinda went down a rabbit hole.

And then I would talk to her on the phone for about six months,

And then I'm gonna get you back.

And then pull out. Forward.

And then stupid Holly took my keys.

And then two hours to Columbus, so yes,

And then when you got up there,

And then, once I earned her trust, ah...

And they got a little boy your age

And they smelled like coconuts.

And this clown is miming the drum solo

And this dog runs out into the middle

And this is Ted Begley.

And this is the one you chose?

And this is where we'll bunk.

And this new recruit tells me he has to go to the bathroom.

And told her that some of her clothes

And try to keep your message optimistic.

And we both know that's not true.

And we could see a ridge nearby

And we got a couple of hard targets.

And we need to unstick him.

And we put up signs so if they were looking for him,

And what's the nameof that place

And whatever happens, happens.

And when they show up for him, she's gonna be devastated.

And where's that, exactly?

And while that was very charitable of you,

And who kept telling me I had to keep going?

And whose fault is that?

And why would I do that?

And wishes he could be back with his beloved wife.

And with repairs and upkeep on a used car,

And you add some water.

And you always knew what to do.

And you and me

And you are acting like helping them is an annoyance.

And you are going to invite him in

And you assured me, "No, Riley,

And you can smell it everywhere.

And you can take baby home.

And you cannot go to your mom or dad,

And you chase a mirage every night.

And you couldn't start with the noon prayer?

And you have to guess what it is.

And you know many jokes.

And you know, there's an even bigger pothole

And you let her do this?

And you wanted to go off that high dive at the pool?

And you will hear all of them.

And you'll never know what might happen if you don't try.

And you'll never know what she went through.

And you're such a catch, Dad.

And you're the ones in the car with me.

And you've never been this far from home.

And your name is Awalmir Karimi."

And, no...

And, oh, my God, why am I talking about potholes?

And?

And...

Any kind I wanted.

Any left?

Any more. I got you two knuckleheads to worry about.

Any pudding really.

Any time you need a car, come on down.

Anyhoo.

Anyway,

Anyway, I'll let you guys talk.

Anyway, just tell her to call me.

Anyway, we have to be very quiet.

Apparently there was a tornado in Oklahoma

Apparently, I already pushed you once.

Apparently, you weren't missed.

Are gonna try and set your dad up?

Are the mark of experience and wisdom.

Are those still good?

Are we doing this?

Are we the two luckiest guys in the world or what?

Are you asleep?

Are you Awa...

Are you dizzy?Eh, maybe a little.

Are you doing this to get me to stop worrying about my family?

Are you dumb?

Are you gonna cry when you see him?

Are you here to fix the TV?

Are you hiring here?

Are you homesick?AL: Oh, no.

Are you hungry yet?

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? I've been trying

Are you kidding?

Are you Muslim or you *******?

Are you not listening to me?

Are you praying?

Are you ready?

Are you saying I'm wrong?

Are you scared?

Are you sure it's their dog?

Are you sure it's your dad who you're worried about?

Are you sure nothing's wrong?

Are you sure you want him at your party?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you sure?

Are you tryingto make me homesick?

Aren't we dainty little flowers?

Aren't you gonna ask me what I want?

Ariana Jaan...

Ariana, what's wrong? What did I say?

ART: Damn!

ART: Morons!Good luck.

ART: Okay, here's how it works.

Arthritis in the knees,

As a sign of respect.

As all the houses turn their lights on.

As are we all, Hazel.

As are we all.

As are you.

As long as he's there

As long as we keep the focus on that.

As much as that guy liked strangling.

As soon as I get my driver's license,

As the youngest,

As usual, your father is right.

As when you were a young man.

As you can see, this mountain is too tall to climb.

As you were.

As you wish.

As your godfather,

Aspirin.

At 3:00 a.m., so that's when I wake up and celebrate.

At dinner you said I was a hypocrite.

At least he could be getting a disability check from the V.A.

At least I can fear for my family

At least she helps me around the house.

At least take a look at what we found.

At least tell me why you won't apply for disability.

At one time or another, all kids are lonely.

At the sticker price, that's the sucker price.

At this point in the evening, it is bedtime

At Vanessa's.

Auntie Barbara's all alone.

Aw, but Holly's not out of booze yet.

Aw, damn it.

Aw, hey, give me some.

Aw, it's like sweet bread.

Aw, it's okay.

Aw, Mashallah.

Aw, nuts.

Aw, sweetie.

Aw.

Aw. I've known you both for so long

Aw. You're the best almost ex wife ever.

Aw...

Awal...

Awalmir has just arrived from Kabul.

Awalmir,

Awalmir, but my friends call me "Al."

Awalmir, this is Gunnery Sergeant Lisa Patterson.

Awalmir. Did I say that right?

Awesome.

Awesome. Even though everybody's mad at me for being a great dad.

Awesome. Where is this place?

B 9. B 9.

B, fatigue, C...

Baby got to go potty.

Back down from a challenge?

Back home, an old woman would never live by herself.

Back home, I would watch her from afar for a few days

Back to the Taliban and walking away.

Bad dreams are God's way of getting you ready for the world.

Bad news?

Bad people. Who do you think?

Banging on your door, it's well named.

Bar opens at 1700 hours, buffet at 1730.

Barbara Anderson, glowing like a 14 day moon.

Barbara Anderson, it is my pleasure

Barbara Anderson.

Barbara has to go home and feed her cats.

Barbara, I have tragic news.

Barefoot?

Based on everything you know about me,

Be careful.

Bear repellent or something.

Beautiful color.

Because as your godfather, it is my job to make sure

Because barbers are a rip off.

Because I injured it in Grenada.

Because I know how to be grateful for what I have.

Because I will lose!

Because I'm a man.

Because it's the right thing to do.

Because she's good with numbers.

Because the Taliban were hunting me.

Because there is nothing funny about

Because you filled my belly with tea and lies.

Because you have not taught her.

Because you know more than the doctor.

Because you're a man?Yes, thank you.

Because, Hazel, that was the only bed

Been doing it since I could reach the pedals.

Beep equals metal.

Before the pizza and birthday cake.

Before we get to the main event,

Behind a bush, where he makes so much noise,

Behold,

Being a single mom was really tough.Oh, come on.

Believe it or not, with AM radio.

Bend that sapling, bro.

Bertha, we need your help.

Bertha's my metal detector.

Bingo what?Bingo, bingo.

Bingo!

Blue, black, orange, white.

Bob and Jill Munson.

Both her adult kids are still living with her.

Both my legs are broken.

Both of you know that.

BOTH: Happy birthday!

BOTH: Marines to exemplify the ultimate

BOTH: Oorah!

Bottle cap.

Boy, does he. Did you ever try to fold his T shirts?

Boy, if you could sell him on a helicopter pad,

Boy, that is feeble.

Boy, that's a good question.

Boy, you're adorable.

Boy. You must be missing home.

Boys medium?

Brave and stupid. Sounds like my brother.

Breaking beer bottles with a hammer.

Bring something legal.

Brings out the best in everyone.

Brought me a box of steaks.

Buddy, she does not listen to me.

Bunch of Americans show up, pitch some tents,

Buro gumsho. Get out of here.

But also because I want an Olympic medal,

But also sad. Hmm.

But are you sure you can afford this?

But buying a car in this country is different.

But doesn't "want anything from her"

But don't tell my mother that.

But every family has a black sheep.

But he has always been so proud of being a Marine.

But he never visits or calls.

But he was with you over here.

But he went through some stuff I didn't.

But he would want to be with you every day if he could.

But he's all dressed up and just a phone call away.

But he's always there to listen whenever she's got a "problem"

But he's being stubborn.

But how can you resist his cute little face?

But I am sure it is very competitive.

But I am too old to have a birthday party.

But I do like you.

But I do need to wrap this up.

But I do not agree with the way you are parenting your daughter.

But I do think he deserves to be happy.

But I don't think I ever realized

But I don't think it's cool for us to say that to him.

But I have also seen the mood swings and the drinking.

But I just call butter.

But I kind of wonder if that's the right word.

But I know he still loves you very much.

But I know it wasn't yesterday.

But I needed that bucket.

But I said theygot one wrong.

But I sense they are funny.Yeah.

But I think it was easier to be in Afghanistan,

But I want to hear more about Afghanistan.

But I want you to understand,

But I will make this right.

But I'm not going to.

But I'm sure she could love a different animal.

But I've been so nice to the jerk.

But if ever you have a problem

But if I ever go to Afghanistan,

But if there's anything I can do...

But if we do this, I don't want to see,

But if you ever serve my Uncle Dawood black tea,

But instead of praying, you just complained.

But it doesn't really help anybody.

But it has no taste.

But it is what's gonna happen.

But it looks very nice.

But it's different.How?

But it's for a good cause.

But it's just sitting there.

But just in case,

But my camera's broken.

But no one is answering their phone

But none of it's true.

But not how to buy a car.

But not in Ohio, which is why I sell cars here.

But not me.

But nothing today.

But now...

But of course we're not on the project anymore.

But once it gets a taste, it will bite your face off.

But one thing.

But otherwise you heard right.

But our breakup was really tough on her.

But people like me and my family back home now deal with

But Riley has a very short attention span.

But seeing a woman wearing them is.

But she does make your favorite kind of salad.

But she was born here.

But she's doing okay?

But she's one girl, okay?

But so worth it.

But some of us thought that if we joined as interpreters,

But that's a fun story for you to tell at our wedding.

But the first time someone shot at you,

But the interpreters who don't have a friend like him...

But the people seem lonely here.

But the valley they were in

But then I moved on up to selling green onions

But there is nothingin the Koran

But they want more.

But this is not one of those times.

But this is your grandfather's house.

But we add cardamom, pine nuts, rosewater and raisins.

But we did the heavy lifting.

But we do now.

But we want the extended warranty.

But what kind of circle?

But whatever.

But when it comes to Hazel, you should listen to her.

But while Riley was fighting

But with any luck,

But you can have the chicken for five bucks

But you can't be a hero and fix this.

But you can't. All you can do is go to the fundraiser...

But you did not let them.

But you get a check every month for your ankle?

But you got to keep your powder dry.

But you guys are fired.

But you had to go to the other manager and talk to him.

But you loved that motorcycle.

But you missed her when you were on base?

But you will find that out

But you will walk barefoot

But you're welcome to talk

But your dad knew if our truck got into enemy hands,

But, yeah, you can't come.

But?

But...

Buy it back for the price you sold it to him.

By accident. I'm sure it's not broken.

By giving him a handout,

By providing me with a home.

By the airport.

Bye, Al.

Bye, sweetie.Bye, Mom.

Bye.

Bye.Bye.

Call me Freddy.

Call me when you know.

Calm down, I won't tell her.

Calm down.

Calm down. It's not a permanent thing.

Can I ask you something?

Can I at least get my iPad?

Can I be your best man?

Can I get youa drink? Please.

Can I give you a hug?Definitely not. Good night.

Can I have a rock for a pillow?

Can I stop you?

Can I talk to you outside for a minute?

Can we add one more thing to the doghouse?

Can we call the hospital you were born in?

Can we get one of those next year?

Can we get you anything?

Can we not talk about this right now?

Can we please go?

Can we please just start?

Can we please talk about this later?

Can we stop and get a snack?

Can you feel your foot?

Can you get me a dirt bike?

Can you give me and Hazel a minute?

Can you have me riding a Jet Ski?

Can you mark it for me, please?

Can you pick Hazel up from soccer tomorrow?

Can't bring myself to eat it.

Can't close the deal after coffee.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org