Single Drunk Female - Season 1 Edit

A big job, all things considered, and I'm thriving.

A crystal ball or something?

A great future ahead of you, did you know that?

A lot more revealing than hearing the sound of voice.

A lot of money for that place, money that I was saving

A man that I respect and regret maiming.

A milkshake? No thanks.

A million people to stomp on our brand‐new wood floors.

A personal trainer, started reading a lot of Glennon Doyle,

A really good Thanksgiving.

A special today on sirloin strip.

A therapist or...

A very tiny amount of money.

Aah!

Aah! So good. Um, listen,

About all those texts that I sent you

About my first sober sexual experience.

Acronym.

Act really chill and we can meet behind the dumpsters?

Actually got in your trunk on the way here.

Actually, do what you want. I don't care.

Actually, Gail knows Samantha.

Actually, I think your next move should be

After Dad died. And I'm sorry

After the meeting.

After totaling my car, so no.

Again: known him since high school.

Ah, really?

Ah, that'd be great.

Ah, you know, my sister's

Ah.

Ah. So you have, like,

Ah. Thank you very much.

All good things.

All in the bodega, but I appreciate it.

All of those problems‐‐ your mom, the money,

All right, all about the meat.

All right, all right, small tent.

All right, but stop me at two.

All right, bye, Gail.

All right, don't get all Sad Sam

All right, I'll talk to you soon,

All right, let's see. You have, uh,

All right, let's take some new pics.

All right, now.

All right, okay.

All right, so most ballpark hot dogs

All right, suit yourself.

All right, that comes to $16.53.

All right, we can be the one good guy cult,

All right, we're gonna buzz the sides. And then,

All right, well, you know, I've got my process.

All right, will you will you just remember that for next time?

All right, yo, so we can keep our thing a secret,

All right?

All right?

All right? I go to work and then I come home and spend

All right? Look.

All right? Not your old self, uh, your new self.

All right? So be nice, please. Meaning...

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Fine.

All right. I get that. I get it.

All right. I'll try, but I ate a lot of chicken parm.

All right. I'm sorry.

All the time, and I I honestly, like, don't even know why.

All the time.

All will be revealed in the fullness of time.

All your program attendance, you paid your fines,

ALL: Hi.

Almost blinding my coworker.

Also really sorry about that time

Also, he is a she.

Also, I really loved drinking and writing, you know?

Also, if he were a serial killer I'm pretty sure

Also, it is St. Patrick's Day, and, ugh,

Although go easy on that, because... (vocalizes)

Although she would probably hit it now that she's

Although those fish are really...

Although... I did read Eminem is a sponsor,

Am I?

Am I?

Amen.

An amends is action.

An amends is rebuilding a bridge you blew up.

An asshole, and Zack's a little TikTok star.

An entire cup size from the injections.

An espresso martini, please. And thank you...

And a Coke and a shake and an ice cream sundae.

And a full‐time employee. I got real‐life shit on my mind.

And all that stuff, so that's cool.

And all the drugs all at the same time.

And all the normal feelings are coming back, like...

And also, we passed a parking lot back there,

And and by that I mean thank you for not firing me.

And and it just... it helps people get some...

And as part of your probation,

And ask them for deli meat.

And at Giovanni's. I mean...

And been, you know, my first day off in three weeks, so...

And change the title.

And complete driver's ed, because apparently,

And curling up with War and Peace.

And don't even get me started on the tatas.

And don't jump too hard on the floor. We just had them done.

And every STD right now.

And go on some pretty bad coffee dates,

And got dragged and...

And he asked me if I had any snacks.

And he might be just a little bit cooler.

And he's done all that work.

And he's wearing blades!

And healed my tibia and I discovered my‐my

And hitting large objects. Just know

And I appreciate that, okay? Why don't we go inside and talk?

And I can't miss it because I'm the speaker.

And I could've used a me.

And I don't remember anything about it, just the drinks.

And I don't want to do that, so...

And I don't... I don't ever want to do that to you again.

And I feel really bad about it. I'm‐I'm really sorry,

And I have a policy of not

And I kind of have to be a rules guys.

And I kind of thought the job was like a...

And I miss him.

And I miss you, too.

And I pregamed.

And I really appreciate it.

And I remember thinking

And I remembered, "Um, oh, yeah, I build houses."

And I thought Sasha could do this one from Le Petit Prince.

And I was extremely nervous.

And I was like, "You got it, kid." So...

And I was singing him his song...

And I will be right here.

And I‐I really appreciate that.

And I, uh, think it's working.

And I... and I'll see you another time, and if I don't,

And I'll bring it in to you.

And I'll have everything that she had,

And I'll tell them you're sick, and then

And I'm a subscriber to your podcast.

And I'm banned from all rideshares, so...

And I'm gonna go out with Tina and her crew.

And I'm gonna teach you

And I'm learning how to slice meat

And I'm not emotionally prepared for a thing right now.

And I'm not sure why I'm here.

And I'm so grateful

And I'm sober now, seven months.

And I've never been happier.

And if I end the day without giving in to the temptations

And if, you know, you feel lonely

And invited me to her stupid wedding.

And it is the same one from high school.

And it must be weird for you

And it'd be so fun.

And it's crushing all the air out of your lungs,

And it's too much.

And it's true, they‐they are around.

And it's, like, kind of a big deal, so...

And James, hey.

And keep it touch that way, or...

And let your higher power take care of the rest.

And let's, uh, let's get something on the books.

And Lucas is, too. He was just promoted

And make sure that your body isn't gonna reject the tissue.

And meet my ghost roommate.

And money laundering,

And my ex best friend finally saw the light

And my mom and I could sit several seats apart, and it...

And New York? Bzzzzzzzzzz?

And nobody knows what digital means anyway.

And none of it is ours.

And not remember how it got there.

And now I'm gonna swell up like a bullfrog

And now she's very rich.

And now that's in the rearview, right?

And now you want to talk about dad.

And obviously a huge waste of time,

And obviously that's not the only reason

And on herself. Uh, any other thoughts?

And on the weekend I hang out with Vinny and the boys.

And our daily lives are the hallucination,

And our problems with champagne.

And pay her rent on time.

And pick up your St. Paddy's Day treats.

And places that we find triggering right now.

And plus, like, everyone's so into women.

And Pokémon asked me if I was a boy or a girl,

And relive that night I have absolutely no memory of.

And Sam's actually in there.

And secondly, you've had enough to drink.

And she could use a boost. And...

And she moved into digital, and... you know,

And sometimes you just know.

And spent $40 on club sodas.

And take a little vacation from thinking about Samantha

And that chicken will say everything better

And that corporation is all about "accountability."

And that could be you.

And that plus what I owe the city‐‐ well, it's a lot.

And that, my friend,

And that's what threw me.

And the camaraderie, and the, um...

And the Lord said... (chuckles)

And the wind kind of blew it right back in my face.

And their hair and makeup, so... they...

And then adjust your expectations accordingly.

And then here you are, and ev...

And then just got out of the way right before it came?

And then just more shots 'cause it's fun.

And then saying maybe. It...

And then that person stops.

And then they are grilled.

And then we'll just never get back to it.

And they are on trial.

And they get judgy when they don't have fancy cheese.

And they will start showing up for you.

And this dress is the calling from the universe

And this is biodynamic, so it basically

And this is, uh,

And this is... Off Our Docs.

And this one time I took a little bit of my friend's

And to me as well.

And treating me like shit at the time, and...

And very nice. I like it.

And wait until after the ceremony,

And watch some mindless TV with you.

And we're back where we were when she came here?

And what if she gets it?

And when I put my hand down there...

And when you're back I need you to cover for Doris.

And why would you do that without asking me first?

And with that job, you're gonna pay me rent.

And write something. Tonight.

And you didn't tell me?

And you don't need to solve this problem right now.

And you even like it. Hot twist.

And you guys have been broken up for a long time.

And you have to ask way in advance...

And you know at the end, when you land and you run

And you look beautiful.

And you shove it up under the skin,

And you take a stick of butter

And you, ma'am?

And you, uh, you loved this place,

And you're not looking for a father for your kid.

And your history, you're not actually

And your right leg, and then you just lean in...

And your sobriety.

And your time in New York and working

And‐and one day write an autobiography of a trash bag,

And, like I said‐‐

And, like, there's so much love

And, of course,

And, uh, code away, man. I got you.

And, uh, once in the bathroom.

And, uh, these amends‐‐ they're just like

And, uh... boy, do I have it.

And, uh... Oh, yeah.

And, um, I can't ask my mom

And, um, I just wish my dad could be here,

And, um...

And, um...

And, while we're getting things off our chest...

And, yeah, to the rest of my sober and non sober posse,

And, you know, I think they're serving the wrong apps.

And, you know, women shouldn't

And?

And...

And... I just don't really want to.

And... I mean,

ANGELINE: Oh my God, do you remember the funnel cake

ANGELINE: Okay, Kate.

ANGELINE: What do you think about this one?

Annalisa and I are honored that you, uh, graced us

ANNALISA: James.

Another one?

Any white round thing that vaguely resembles a toilet.

Any word from James?

Anyone can be an alcoholic. It's a disease.

Anyone? On the book?

Anyone's living a life?

Anything.

Anyway, here's your paycheck.

Anyway, it's very funny, it's extremely cute.

Anyway, make yourselves at home,

Anyway, uh, yeah, that's it.

Anyway, uh...

Anyway, um, I'm telling you this so you don't feel so alone.

Anyway, we have to go quick or she'll kill me. What's up?

Anyway, what do you like to do?

Apologies don't have "buts." Sam, I just...

Apparently, alcoholism is a disease,

Approved your pre‐trial probation.

Are being scooped up and mashed together

Are either steamed or grilled,

Are the actual reality

Are the drugs laced with drugs?

Are the Irish of the East.

Are they cute? They better be cute.

Are to die for.

Are we alone?

Are we, uh...

Are you apologizing to me?

Are you okay? How'd it go?

Are you okay? What what happened?

Are you se You peed in that?

Are you sorry about the hat or the marrying my ex?

Are you taking the Orange Line?

As an excuse to drink more.

As her mother,

As long as they're not vegan.

As one of the best readings, but fine,

As saying that rule blows.

As we speak, I mean, he's not haunting me or anything.

Asked me to come and pitch that sobriety app.

At a job.

At Club 24/7.

At his job to manager at the cell phone store.

At least say something first, right?

At that website Bzzzzzzzzzz.

At the Pellegrino table.

At the time, "She needs a deep thinker."

At your dad's shiva,

Aw, you never let me have my way with your locks.

Awesome, yeah. I will definitely be there. Thank you.

Babe, can you get the playlist ready?

Baby love, I'm gonna tell Samantha

Baby, the doctor said not to lift anything.

Baby, we just need two more minutes.

Baby, who cares? You're gonna be pregnant.

Barbara... Oh.

Basically Spanx with an open flap in my undercarriage.

Basically, I need money. Like, a lot of it.

Be a better friend to you.

Beaded, tulle, slutty thing.

Because everybody wants to have some wine at night.

Because I can control my drinking when I want to.

Because I don't know if I can keep saying no to you.

Because I got a big promotion.

Because I had weed at a party in high school

Because I thought it was a nice thing to do.

Because I'm...

Because if I approve of you, then...

Because it was your suggestion.

Because it's clean. Okay, it's not. It's...

Because it's her bachelorette party,

Because look at our beautiful friend.

Because men let things slide

Because of your past behavior and...

Because she looks like you.

Because you can do that from... from anywhere.

Because you can't drive a car and you threw up

Because you haven't made her a part of it yet.

Because you might actually be good at this.

Because you were always having a threesome with booze.

Because you're fired.

Because you're gonna catch the meat.

Because you're kind of untouchable

Because your mom speaks so... so very highly of you.

Because, even if it sucks,

Because...

Been following you for months.

Been hit with some unexpected expenses,

Beer pong. Winner gets the keys.

Before they realize it's gone.

Before you got home.

Being a bit less of an asshole.

Being awesome.

Believe me, I do not care about overcrowding at fish farms.

Besides, if we don't like it, we just leave.

Besides, the whole fairy‐tale wedding thing

Between Andrew and Phil?

Big day.

Big‐time. Big‐time listener.

Big, fat, skinny, Scandinavian.

Biggest cell phone store at the mall.

Biologically connected to them.

Bitter.

BOB (in distance): Hello, hello, hello!

BOB (muttering): Four, five, six.

Bob, this is Joel,

BOB: Ah, look at you two,

BOB: And a little more for me. Oh.

BOB: Oh. Okay, got it.

BOB: Seven, eight, fifteen. Nice.

BOB: Yes, we are actually on our way out.

Bob. Bob Wolcowicz.

Bob's moving in.

Boundaries.

Boy boyish and...

BRIAN: So, basically,

Bringing a nice guy helps.

Brit invited me to her wedding.

Brit said that I should find you.

BRIT: I‐I texted her.

BRIT: It's just, you know, I‐I don't

BRIT: Land.

BRIT: No, no.

BRIT: Sam?

BRIT: We're dancing, right now.

BRIT: What?

BRIT: Yeah?

Bro, you are only getting these keys if you play us.

Brring, brring, brring! Points.

Brush your teeth, take a shower.

Buddy. Okay. (short chuckle)

But a little tired. Are you just getting off?

But also a virgin who kinda knows what she's doing.

But be my Connie Britton and just give me this five...

But Boston Bangers are boiled first,

But Carol would be so upset if I was

But do you see how that's not two people?

But don't judge me for having some wine at night,

But drugs is where the money is.

But got to get this back to the bakery

But great energy here.

But honestly, just knock yourself out,

But I am, uh... I'm really happy

But I do that because it's you.

But I don't know why. It's like

But I don't want to watch this anymore. Hey, bud.

But I figured since they won't give me your cell phone number,

But I got myself a hot dog

But I have that...

But I I cannot write without alcohol.

But I never turn down a charcuterie.

But I think it's gonna be fine.

But I want you to know...

But I was recognized in an H&M once.

But I was still recognized, all right?

But I'll slot you in for a few extra shifts next week.

But I'm getting something.

But I'm pretty sure you're feeling anger.

But I'm sure she could help you out just this once.

But I'm up next. Her eggs, my womb.

But I'm, I'm not worried, you're more worried about it than I am.

But if it makes you feel any better,

But if you could just let me explain to you what...

But if you did, you'd know that I graduated

But it could be now, you know?

But it couldn't be that hard to learn. (laughs)

But it doesn't have to.

But it is better than this garbage. Also,

But it is taking a hot minute.

But it was just conversation.

But it's a solution for those

But it's time, right?

But just with, like, one more.

But let me just be clear about me saying that.

But now it's just us, and last year was brutal.

But seeing as I haven't heard from her,

But some people say that the Polish

But taxis still take cash, so...

But thanks for offering.

But that judge‐‐ he overruled me.

But that's not a problem for you 'cause you had a bad girl phase

But the cash and prizes don't all come at once, so,

But then I figured nobody's ever gonna sleep in there again,

But then, I mean...

But there‐there is a... there is a disco ball.

But they didn't.

But this Thanksgiving

But today is the day of my people.

But we don't have a money‐making strategy,

But we have a tracking component

But we're here to talk about you.

But when you're on the clock,

But yeah, basically.

But you brought me here.

But you can stay if you like.

But you can't leave in the middle.

But you cannot see them as adults.

But you keep practicing, okay? You got this.

But you know that I got your back.

But you know what they say,

But you know what, if you need anything at all,

But you know, not in a mean way.

But you should definitely submit it somewhere smarter.

But you should just talk to her.

But you very rarely let that show,

But you were my best friend, so that was like,

But you're coming to my sober dance party, right?

But you're not a walking nervous system anymore,

But you're not skipping town without me.

But, good to know.

But, I mean, it's a little true, right?

But, knowing me, I'm sure they weren't great.

But, ooh, you would love that, wouldn't you?

But, to be fair, you were dating my ex

But, uh, yes. I... Let's do it.

But, um... this is great.

But, you know expensive, so...

But...

But...

But... with a near‐death experience.

By security guards?

By shop you mean your vagina?

By some real piece of work, and then

Call yourself sick.

Calling me last night, scream‐crying?

Can I go up there?

Can I have a small black coffee, please.

Can I help you with your cell phone bill?"

Can I just see a gas bill?

Can I just talk to Sam?

Can I see? Bob wears them. They help his back.

Can I?

Can we get back in line now? 'Cause I lost my spot.

Can we help you?

Can you believe that? I mean,

Can you go now, please? Because I'm tired

Can you go?

Can you imagine? Yeah. Yeah. Come on, it'll be fun.

Can you not... can we not on the seat?

Can you use your imagination for a second?

Can't tell if you're excited or terrified.

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Care to elaborate?

Carol, just talk to her.

CAROL: All right, that's enough.

CAROL: I'm sure you are, and welcome.

CAROL: Isn't he cute?

CAROL: Right. Sam

CAROL: Sam, don't eat that.

CAROL: So, Giovanni's.

CAROL: Use the

CAROL: You don't know what you're capable of now.

CAROL: You know what? I...

Carol! Hey!

Carol. Hi.

Celine. (whoops)

Chat with the girl who's marrying your ex.

Check in with you every month now?

CHILD: You're my best friend.

Clarity on some stuff.

Closing! You don't have to go home...

Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here.

Come here, man.

Come in. Why not?

Come on in. Make yourself comfortable.

Come on up.

Come on, are you serious?

Come on, it's not technically free.

Come on, she doesn't get any of this stuff.

Come on, step on up.

Come on, Zack, we'll get you some ice cream, okay?

Come on. This is the final boss battle.

Come on. You guys have been together a long time.

Come to the dance party. It'll be fun."

Consulted with you on that.

Cool chair, right?

Cool leggings.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

Cool. Okay, let's do it.

Cool. So, what are you guys doing today?

Cool. Well, I look forward to hearing from you guys...

Correct.

Could you give us a second?

Could you just not do the whole victimy thing right now?

Couldn't sleep?

Covered in crappy tattoos.

Crap.

Cupid Shuffle.

Dad?

Dad...

DANIELLE: Bye!

DANIELLE: Oh, you can see right through that.

DANIELLE: Yes. I may be drunk,

DEEJAY (over P. A.): And we have a birthday here today.

Definitely did not think you could do it.

Despite what you may have heard or witnessed,

Destruction of personal property,

Dicks.

Did I tell Jordan? No! Again, not my boyfriend.

Did you come here on purpose?

Did you drink today?

Did you get my Venmo?

Did you get that order, ma'am?

Did you give my daughter money?

Did you have to dress like an alcoholic, though?

Did you just say you have a disease?

Did you just talk about me the whole time?

Didn't realize this was, like, a Runaway Bride situation.

Didn't the whole situation make you want to drink?

Didn't want to name her, 'cause that would've been creepy.

Digital.

Digital. It's online, it's computers.

Dinner was good.

Dispatches from the trenches.

Do I have to, like, write a letter to the governor, or...?

Do I have yours?

Do you ever think...

Do you guys actually like this?

Do you have a few minutes to talk, Mom?

Do you have another bride coming in, or...

Do you have to be anywhere, like,

Do you know anyone or any place, um...

Do you know how insane that is?

Do you know what a sponsor does?

Do you know what time it is?

Do you know where the tortillas are?

Do you really think

Do you think I should go through with it?

Do you wanna talk?

Do you want this?

Do you want to go back to your apartment?

Do you want to go to the couch?

Do you want to hear it again or do you want to go mingle?

Do you want to know my dorkiest secret to staying sober?

Do you, um...

Does he, like, does he smell bad or...?

Does that make him my boyfriend?

Doesn't actually count as alcohol.

Doesn't make me a bad person.

Doesn't mean that you can take advantage of me.

Doing it with Bob this morning.

Don't be a blame hog.

Don't be afraid to succeed.

Don't be dramatic. It was 12 years old.

Don't be yourselves, ha ha, ha ha...

Don't call me next week asking me where your mortgage is.

Don't drink.

Don't drink.

Don't drink. I want to drink."

Don't even worry... I didn't say anything.

Don't flatter me, Samantha.

Don't leave. I'll get you a pair.

Don't let her date Pierce Brosnan,

Don't look at me. I can't wait to freak the hell out.

Don't make me call whoever you call in this situation.

Don't really want to hold your hand either,

Don't rush it.

Don't rush it.

Don't smile at me, just leave.

Don't stomp on the floor.

Don't tell me any more things or I'm gonna back out.

Don't want to end up passed out, drooling

Don't worry. I got you.

Don't you feel more chill already?

Don't... don't listen to him. He's...

DORIS: Okay, so, look.

Down two more shots, you open it,

Downstairs, waiting to take photos of you,

Drama in the book club.

Drop your hand.

Dry British crime drama out.

Dude, dude!

Duh. But I...

Eat whatever you want.

Eh, it's either this or 90‐Day Fiancé.

Eight, sixteen...

Enjoy the snacks and water.

Enjoy.

Epic?

Especially for you, he's perfect.

Espresso martini, thank you.

Even though I think I would have been really good at it.

Even though you definitely should have.

Even when I'm technically not on the schedule

Even when you're stone‐cold sober?

Ever again, okay?

Every morning, I have a green tea, which you sobers love,

Every single spare minute planning our wedding.

Every version of Pride and Prejudice ever made.

Everybody be cool. This is Sam Fink,

Everyone tells the person who's drinking

Everything you wrote then was so wonderful?

Everything's not always about you.

Exactly. Even if you don't know you're causing trauma, you are.

Except for this whole end bit, which was terrible.

Except I can't figure out where to stash Uncle Phil.

Excuse me.

Fair enough. (clears throat)

Fairly impressed with myself.

Featuring me, because I am an expert.

Feel like I could just get sober real quick.

Feel like this is exactly right.

Felicia, do you want to have, uh, cake

Felicia, stop with the mafia act.

Felicia, thank you for not giving up on me,

Felicia, you can't just leave me here.

FELICIA: Buckle up, Zack.

FELICIA: I really wish I was naked.

FELICIA: I'm so proud of you.

FELICIA: Me too.

FELICIA: That's a terrible idea.

Fiddle‐leaf fig. The dream.

Figure out the money stuff.

Fine as in F I N E?

Fine.

Fired?

First time?

First you, you pat it dry.

Fit 13 years of being a total asshole into 30 minutes.

Floofy and stuff? Girl, you look like that.

Focus on the fun parts and don't worry about the sad stuff.

Focus on who's gonna be in your vag, right?

Football tackles at sober parties.

For a child before you even start.

For a little bit? Well, I fell over instead

For a relationship, just the sexy fun times.

For as long as I can.

For for Thanksgiving or anything like that?

For like a year, and I'm gonna get jawline breakouts.

For me and my friend...

For money again, 'cause she'll own me, so...

For more than a signature, give me a call.

For my neck lift, which now I can't have because of you.

For real?

For the record, I did not like that, though.

For the record, I, I don't really care.

For this Samantha.

For you being drunk every day and showing up to work?

For you to put on a chair

For you.

For you.

For... being recovered?

For... I was...

Forever and ever in perpetuity.

Four dollars a pop? For this?

Four hours, then rifle through your sock drawer.

Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional?

Freeze her in time and hold on to her

Friday, I'm going to meet with my sponsor and she will

From pissing off your parents, I would

Funnel cake I have ever had.

Gail is her probation officer.

GAIL: I don't know what I'm doing here,

Gallery openings, plays, interactive experiences,

General office assholes. You know, the kinda people

GEORGE: Dig in. Let's start with this leg.

GEORGE: Why don't we start by just saying

GEORGE: Yeah, yeah, my boy James here

Get a sitter, I got to move a bunch of shit around,

Get me blacked out at Molly Malone's, right?

Get off!

Get out of here.

Get out! Abort!

Getting along. (chuckles)

Girl Boss‐ton.

Girl, a bus ride and a job interview are not risks.

Give me a call. Door's always open.

Giving me garbage advice. I don't need that.

Giving you happy hour prices on that one 'cause of Thanksgiving.

Glad I remembered you.

Glad you made it. Mostly for selfish reasons.

Go after other women and just leave the guy out of it,

Go ahead and get someone at the meeting

Go on.

Go play with this random kid that I just met.

Go revel in your freedom. (whoops softly)

Go to a new space.

Go to your boudoir?

Go, Joshy, shoo.

God has blessed James

God, what if he was, like, doing it while he was recording that?

God, why am I such a grade grubber even on psychedelics?

God!

Gonna be working here that long. You know,

Good boy.

Good for you, Carol.

Good luck with the wedding.

Good morning.

Gosh, her schedule's really busy.

Got it.

Got it. Here you go.

Got it. No triggers.

Got to get out of Carol's house.

Got to work on "Drinko." But I get it.

Grace. Right, grace.

Great job.

Great. Got it.

Great. Well, uh, I guess we can eat now, right?

Guess what he became? FELICIA: What?

Gushers, Cheez Its, little, uh...

H H Hold on, dude.

Half a pound of that turkey pastrami, please.

Hang out with friends that don't hate me.

Happen unexpected, I get a little, you know, nervous.

Happened on the bench. I don't know what.

Happy one year sober.

Has an important new job down at the MIT Media Lab.

Has put under my care,

Have a seat.

Have I had a pregnancy scare? Multiple.

Have you been drinking?

Have you seen Josh? I cannot find Josh.

Have you written your amends to her?

He ate them, and then

He became a butterfly.

He doesn't have a boss.

He doesn't love me anymore or something.

He doesn't need to know how volatile you are!

He has arrived.

He is.

He lived a good life.

He said I looked great. I figure, why not?

He texts me every single morning, like,

He was just starting to love me again.

He was so great. He just partied a little hard.

He'd want to bang me first.

He'll make it or he won't. Either way,

He's adorable, but a little odd.

He's been working really hard at his new job.

He's drunk.

He's great with wood.

He's had it out for me since day one.

He's just kind of hanging out.

He's just sitting on my mom's side table.

He's married to his job, so he has no time

He's probably a serial killer.

He's so, um...

He's the cishet wingman of my dreams.

Hell... Hey, Sam.

Hello, Beauty Girl.

Hello, Smother.

Hello.

Hello. Hey, everybody, hello.

Hello. That was a secret.

Helping other people. And I became

Her probation officer.

Here a, uh... What do you want?

Here for a residence verification.

Here she is.

Here we go. I, Katrina, vow to G...

Hey Ronnie, can I get another club soda?

Hey, Angeline. I saw you guys on Instagram. How are you?

Hey, do you ever get, like...

Hey, don't focus on who was in your vag.

Hey, don't let your mom date anyone. Okay?

Hey, don't over a macchiato. That's butt stuff.

Hey, every... Oh, sorry.

Hey, everybody, my friend is 30 days sober!

Hey, I thought I had that, but then

Hey, James. Uh,

Hey, Joel, you know the seating chart's

Hey, Joel.

Hey, man, baby steps and all that.

Hey, Mindy, um, I've recently

Hey, Mom?

Hey, remember that time you wore the pantsuit

Hey, Sam, no, no, look. There‐There's no stripper pole,

Hey, Sam.

Hey, sorry, I tried calling.

Hey, uh, before you go, I‐I just

Hey, Val, is this going okay?

Hey, whatever happened to the chip thing?

Hey, when are we gonna start to feel something?

Hey, where are your heels, Carrie Bradshaw?

Hey, you are a little liar, Katrina.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Big dog's here.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Clock out for your break.

Hey. I don't think I've ever seen you without a middle part.

Hey. I know you.

Hey. No, no, no, no. Use this.

Hey. Sam, how you holding up?

Hey. That's a lot of almonds.

Hey. Turns out you don't need as much cake

Hey. Wow.

Hey. You came.

Hey. You want one?

Hi guys. Um, see you guys at the ceremony, okay? Bye. Hi!

Hi, good evening.

Hi, James.

Hi, Joshy boy.

Hi, Stephanie, it's nice to meet you.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Does Samantha Fink live here?

Hi. Guess who's here, huh?

Hi. I'm Olivia.

Hi. Just wanted to let you know

Hi. Wow, uh, Sam Fink.

High.

His family deserved that.

Hit it up. It's, uh, #PotteryVal.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hold on a second.

Hold this. Pretend like you're reading it.

Holy smokes. (laughs)

Honestly can't... remember.

Honestly, it was an emergency.

Honestly, it's, like, not a great look,

Hope you enjoyed yourself.

Hopefully, it means I'm inching towards

Hopefully, we'll get started soon, but you know women

How about a foot rub?

How are you still the life of the party

How are you?

How can we make this official?

How can you say that? Didn't you see Spotlight?

How can you tell?

How dare she show her face in my bar.

How do you feel about road trips?

How do you know Carol again?

How far you've come, how fun the party was

How it's affected their life

How many days since your last drink?

How to be an actual friend.

How to meditate like a champion.

How trauma is passed between the generations.

How was that? Was that all right?

How was your day?

How'd you get them?

However many weeks are in a year.

Huh? Oh.

Huh. Yeah, I guess I'll have to figure my own thing out.

I actually have some very important work to do

I actually still don't know if I'm supposed to be here,

I actually wasn't planning on staying this long.

I also sell ceramics on Etsy.

I always tell my kids you gotta have money for the muggers.

I always wanted to see ghosts, but they never came to see me.

I always wondered if you were still alive.

I am always covered in bodily fluid. I...

I am asking you,

I am celebrating the great day I had with my family.

I am horny as hell.

I am just gonna go change into my going‐out dress.

I am not technically Irish,

I am so happy. Also, a little drunk.

I am very sorry about that, honestly.

I am.

I am. Uh, thank you for remembering.

I am. Who are you?

I apologize for being a good time.

I applied to a fellowship at UCLA.

I bought a new shirt.

I bought it, yeah. It was such a good deal.

I came here to talk to you.

I came to New York to meet you at that restaurant.

I can chill and stop watching the door.

I can do this, though, right?

I can literally see you on the camera.

I can never keep up with her, right?

I can see the flask in your pocket.

I can see you.

I can't believe I got that close.

I can't believe you're an alcoholic.

I can't get my groove back when you are always here.

I can't go home.

I can't have more than three a night since I turned 30, so...

I can't see your face.

I cannot right now.

I check off my goals, give myself points,

I could do this job drunk, sober, juggling.

I could drive a school bus.

I could hold your hand.

I could just keep doing exactly what I'm doing,

I count myself as your first.

I crush it on Tinder. And in my experience,

I did a draft.

I did the crime, but I did the time,

I didn't even mean to.

I didn't know if you were a creep. Safety first.

I didn't know if you would come. I‐I just...

I didn't realize that I needed permission

I didn't say you were a bad person.

I didn't... I didn't know that.

I do do those things.

I do like when we both stare straight ahead, so...

I do remember you.

I don't give a shit, man.

I don't have any money.

I don't have to watch Maroon 5 shirtless.

I don't know how to do this.

I don't know how to drive a boat,

I don't know how to feel, though, because, like...

I don't know if you remember the birth canal, but I do.

I don't know what that is. (short chuckle)

I don't know what to tell you. Dude, just fire her, then.

I don't know what to tell you. I can't.

I don't know what's going on.

I don't know, I can like, you know,

I don't know, it's just, like, our spot.

I don't know, people are always saying that to me, but I'm fine.

I don't know, there's an odd comfort to failure.

I don't know, you should, like, talk to somebody

I don't know!

I don't know.

I don't know. Do you want to?

I don't know. I am tripping balls, man.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I feel like I really needed to be here,

I don't know. I think I should go find Brit.

I don't know. It feels...

I don't know. Uh...

I don't know. Um, I don't think so.

I don't like it when you say it like that, but yes.

I don't need book club discussing

I don't need you spraying all over the walls again.

I don't really want to go, actually, and I...

I don't think a trip together is a good idea.

I don't think I can have a baby now.

I don't want to do this all.

I don't want to, like, rain on your parade, but, like,

I don't want you to freak the hell out. (chuckles)

I don't want you to see it. So, sorry, I...

I don't.

I don't. What does that mean today?

I don't... I don't know.

I doubt she wants my advice.

I endured pirate jokes every day for a month.

I even tried to blame you for him getting sick,

I expect you to work the whole time.

I feel like a preschooler, I get scolded a lot. Like,

I feel like people always go...

I feel like that's kind of cute.

I felt like you needed a sober trudging buddy.

I forgot. You're a doctor who saves lives, so your life is

I found out my dad died on this bench.

I get a reward.

I get in trouble, like, all the time.

I get it‐‐ you'd love for me to leave.

I got "vane" here, like a weather vane.

I got a breakfast meeting. VCs are in town,

I got away with it.

I got kicked out of my family

I got real problems, and I got to go.

I got to call my babysitter anyway, so...

I got to get my own place.

I got to get that tattooed on butt.

I got to get you doing the "Savage Love" dance for TikTok.

I got to pee, got to pee, got to pee...

I got you.

I got, uh, my one year chip.

I gotta be honest with you,

I gotta... I gotta be honest with you.

I guess she went out.

I had one bad day

I hate to break it to you.

I hate to play the manager card,

I have a female voice,

I have a picture of your boobs etched in my brain.

I have an audition for Chicago, national tour.

I have my spiritual book club meeting at 2:00,

I have no idea why.

I have no idea, I haven't seen my family yet.

I have nothing against them.

I have one in my house right now

I have seven sponsees, but two of them don't call me, so maybe.

I have so many dogs now.

I have something to tell you.

I have the same policy.

I have this phrase I like to use with them

I have to fill this out.

I have to respond to my sponsees. It's my job.

I have to take the blame.

I have told you multiple times

I haven't found the right time, though.

I haven't shared

I haven't written anything.

I hear one more time about

I help you stay sober in this moment.

I hit my bottom a few years back.

I hope it doesn't come up, but if it does,

I I can't write unless I'm drunk, I guess.

I I didn't even... I didn't even think it was a thing.

I I don't even know.

I I don't know. At least it was something.

I I don't want you to have to do it alone.

I I have some eyeliner on as well, yes.

I I have to fill all of that out?

I I put him on a pedestal, you know? I...

I I thought Stephanie was the one doing the hormones.

I I thought you'd, like, cry with happiness.

I I wasn't drinking when I was four.

I I would do the exact same thing for my kids.

I I'm fine, a little shook up.

I just I didn't read it yet because...

I just feel like I owe the kid after Roller Land

I just feel like I was so sad, you know? Why was I so sad?

I just hate that you have to be here.

I just kind of ended up as this, like, broken,

I just think she can handle it.

I just want to...

I just wanted to give you this.

I just wanted to have a place

I just wanted to know which one you ended up with,

I just wanted to show you my car, though.

I just, I work here, that's it.

I just...

I just...

I just... I read a million studies about it,

I just... um, I have a thing.

I kept calling you the Winklevoss Twins

I killed her.

I kind of freak out when things are going too well.

I knew if I told you we were sprinkling his ashes

I knew it was a cult.

I know what if we just walked into the street,

I know Haitian Creole, by the way.

I know I said and did things that I...

I know it's a rule, but it's not like

I know it's not fun. I know it's weird.

I know she'd been looking for a cashier.

I know that I'm one of your more annoying sponsees,

I know that sounds obvious.

I know that. It's just...

I know there were years of your life

I know they're all really, really bad.

I know things have been rough since your dad passed away.

I know what a disease looks like.

I know what you meant.

I know you hate me. Just let me take you home in the party bus.

I know you're a grown man, but like,

I know you're probably mad.

I know, but Brit, maybe you're not a dress person, okay?

I know, but I'm hanging up my jersey.

I know, I'm sorry. I haven't slept in days, okay?

I know.

I learned recently that, if you go back

I left you high and dry when I...

I like that we're becoming more playful with each other.

I literally realized I was trans when I was eight

I live with my mom, so...

I love all types. You know.

I love Irish jigs. My feet hurt.

I love it. You bought it for me.

I love that you're here.

I love the boat neck one on you.

I love you and your journey,

I love you guys. I love this room.

I love you.

I loved it. It makes it feel like an actual nightclub.

I mean, come on, you name it, I could do it.

I mean, dancing, there's gonna be a deejay,

I mean, he did when I was a kid.

I mean, he used to be, like,

I mean, I couldn't tell that you weren't a jogger.

I mean, I didn't think that was gonna be a problem.

I mean, I have to be, I have a probation officer.

I mean, I if I wait for her to make a decision,

I mean, I w I want kids, but...

I mean, I'm back temporarily, but I will get out again.

I mean, I'm gonna blow it

I mean, I've been, like, pretty busy

I mean, it really felt like an alcoholic's take

I mean, look at James he's fine,

I mean, maybe not books you can quote from at weddings.

I mean, not sober sober, but, you know,

I mean, thank you, but

I mean, uh, you know, unless it's, like,

I mean, we can put him next to Uncle Andrew, but he's the one

I mean, yeah, if you're into weirdos in sleeveless shirts.

I mean, you didn't tell me that you bought empty land.

I mean, you just... you need me to be a good person

I mean, you're my emergency contact.

I mean... Wow, this is great. You are...

I might be broken now.

I might take off.

I miss being a drunk.

I need you to hold this.

I need you.

I needed to talk to her for a second.

I never believed in ghosts

I never liked them together.

I noticed that you haven't followed me back yet,

I now know a bunch of drug dealers and shamans?

I only do coke to help me drink more.

I owe you an amends.

I own a condo, I have condo fees,

I picked up enough trash on the side of the road

I probably shouldn't say this, but...

I promised your sponsor‐‐ aka my sponsor first‐‐

I puked on all the coats and the bags at that party

I purchased your last book.

I quit smoking 20 years ago and I still dream about it.

I quit!

I really don't want to put this off anymore, so, I...

I really got to pee.

I really needed today. I have worked

I really tried.

I recommended 60 days of jail time.

I sat there waiting for you for two hours, eating edamame.

I say the grace, but this year,

I separate the bottles by color,

I should go home.

I should have changed that mattress.

I should have, but I was just racing to get here,

I should probably give an amends to Brit.

I spend a lot of money on the snacks

I started doing it when I was first transitioning

I think I could do that.

I think I'm gonna shoot my shot elsewhere.

I think I'm quite good at it.

I think I'm... gonna miss you.

I think it's anger.

I think maybe I'm full of rage!

I think maybe it's anger.

I think that, um, I may be just an asshole,

I think they thought I was Selena Gomez,

I think we should do this again tomorrow.

I think we'll have some fun.

I think you might be, like,

I think you're doing a really great job.

I think you're trying to trick me into exercise again.

I thought about it over the years,

I thought I couldn't do, which is everything. (laughing)

I thought we left these at the roller rink.

I thought we said no more sponsees

I thought you had one of your meetings.

I thought you hated it there.

I thought you might know somebody.

I thought you went home.

I threw up on the Staten Island ferry once

I told her not to say anything, dude,

I told you, I don't joke about serious stuff

I took the train from New York and went straight to the bar

I try to determine what the stock market's gonna do

I used to blackout and steal dogs.

I used to call it "fooling the public."

I waited 25 minutes in line to get you a corn dog

I wanna share it.

I want all the booze and all the sex

I want to be alone in my own house sometimes.

I want to be out.

I want to drink. ‐ What do I do?

I want to drink. Don't drink.

I want to make love to this you.

I want to talk to you alone.

I want you to be healthy.

I wanted a lager. Uh...

I wanted to tell you about this in person.

I was at Doosh, and then they were dicks,

I was gonna call you, but, uh...

I was gonna play it cool

I was happy to help.

I was looking all over for you.

I was really good at it.

I was sure my Aunt Nan was gonna haunt me.

I was telling him something honest,

I was very scared and very worried.

I was waiting for insurance,

I was.

I wasn't even here in the first place, you know?

I wasn't expecting you home.

I will be at your mom's book club.

I will die waiting.

I will show you more dresses.

I will text you now, Olivia Elliot.

I will totally do that if you start doing even your job.

I will try to keep this brief.

I wish we could have the baby just the two of us.

I won't.

I won't. Don't even have a job.

I won't. I am pitching my life's work

I wonder what inspired him.

I work here, you know?

I work off of his vibe, not the other way around,

I worked too hard for this. I can't.

I would go light on that because of the little cracky lips.

I would have loved to know that before I cried on air today.

I would just love the chance to show you

I would like it if you stayed.

I would like some normalcy.

I would love a cheeseburger with fries

I would offer you a drink, but...

I‐I did see you as my drinking buddy.

I‐I didn't.

I‐I don't... I don't know if he wants to hear about it.

I‐I just...

I‐I'd still love to get coffee again sometime.

I‐I'm so sorry that I ghosted you

I, Katerina, do consent to one James

I, um...

I...

I... hope it's nothing like that. She, um...

I... I don't know.

I... I know that I took you for granted,

I'd feel like I owe you something,

I'd love to throw my hat in the ring for that

I'll eat two for me.

I'll go to Club 24/7 tomorrow,

I'll see you at the bar in one year's time.

I'll see you in Malden.

I'll see you in there, yeah?

I'll see you in, like, two days when I'm done being hungover.

I'll see you tonight. Okay. Bye.

I'll take what I can get.

I'll talk.

I'll tell you what I'm not doing is...

I'll, uh, I'll call you if I hear anything, okay?

I'll... I'll take a hot dog, no relish.

I'm a doctor. I don't have time to joy read.

I'm a man in his twenties, so by law I have to.

I'm a mother and a volunteer member of the PTA.

I'm actually glad to see you.

I'm actually on my way in. Uh, how are you?

I'm at Smug Media, have you heard of it?

I'm bringing this up.

I'm Brit. I'm so, so very excited for the merchandising.

I'm Carol.

I'm cut out for sex, and I might be broken now.

I'm definitely gonna screw it up.

I'm done.

I'm Felicia, I just... I'm not sure about the second part.

I'm fine.

I'm fine. I'm... fine.

I'm Gail.

I'm glad that we got a chance to chat,

I'm glad we waited.

I'm going to their wedding.

I'm gonna find a lawsuit in there. I can guarantee it.

I'm gonna find a new local,

I'm gonna give you a couple, so you know what I lived through.

I'm gonna give you the lay of the land.

I'm gonna go check in

I'm gonna go check out the water table.

I'm gonna go roast a chicken.

I'm gonna leave you to it.

I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna plead the Fifth on your questions.

I'm gonna say no.

I'm gonna send you this great meditation app.

I'm good. And, um, Samantha...

I'm great. This was great.

I'm hanging out.

I'm here to make an amends.

I'm here.

I'm just a little confused.

I'm just for the gas bill, quick and painless.

I'm just grabbing Josh.

I'm just playing. It's all online.

I'm just saying that, you know,

I'm just saying this sucks.

I'm just, uh, a little distracted with work.

I'm just... I'm really trying to take this sobriety

I'm kidding. I‐I wouldn't kill her.

I'm kind of a planner, so when things

I'm literally Irish. This was a hate crime,

I'm looking for Olivia.

I'm lost.

I'm married.

I'm married.

I'm not as strong as you. I took a bite

I'm not going to, because that's the whole deal.

I'm not mad. (laughs)

I'm not not asking you to hang out.

I'm not putting my hands on you and moving you myself,

I'm not totally sure how my body moves

I'm on massive amounts of this stuff for IVF.

I'm one of Olivia's sponsees.

I'm Peter. I work at the hospital with Brit.

I'm pretty funny.

I'm pretty sure I can seal the deal.

I'm really glad you texted.

I'm really happy to hear that from you,

I'm really proud of you,

I'm really sorry for crashing your car.

I'm really, really psyched for our wedding.

I'm running a business.

I'm Samantha and I'm an alcoholic.

I'm saving money already.

I'm serious.

I'm serious. I know that I dropped the ball

I'm so I...

I'm so close. Are you?

I'm so glad you came.

I'm so glad you're back.

I'm so good at this.

I'm so happy for you.

I'm so proud of you

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry for a lot of stuff and I miss you a lot.

I'm sorry that I didn't show up for Thanksgiving

I'm sorry that I've been creating distance.

I'm sorry, I'm just realizing that was kind of an ambush.

I'm sorry, Sam, you got to go.

I'm sorry, what?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that.

I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to bring up Dad.

I'm sorry. Thank you.

I'm sorry. We were having such a nice time,

I'm supposed to be on a hike. I hate hiking,

I'm supposed to check this for something, aren't I?

I'm sure he will be here any minute.

I'm sure she's working on her vows.

I'm sure there's, like, a new,

I'm taking some blame.

I'm thankful that James didn't die

I'm trying that setting boundaries thing.

I'm trying to get laid.

I'm way too young to be your mother. Never say that again.

I'm your chic friend who needs you to try a little harder.

I'm‐I'm... There's just something bubbling up.

I'm, I'm acting as if.

I'm, like, totally fine.

I'm... I know it's uncomfortable that we're...

I've basically mapped out every table,

I've been sober for ten years.

I've just never done anything like this before.

I've known them forever.

I've literally tried on every other dress in the store.

I've managed teams of people, so yeah‐‐

I've never seen him in my life.

I've never seen you this happy.

I've pulled 38 items out of body crevices.

If anybody asks where you are, I can let them know.

If anything, I can use it as a safety net, right?

If I had $5,000?

If it isn't you again.

If they make one, what are we gonna do?

If we were both newcomers, then

If we're actually gonna do this we should, like,

If you are desperate to see me,

If you guys can't accept that hallucinations

If you really think a trim's gonna land you this job,

If you want to call yourself sick,

If you... Yeah, Stephanie's saying if you want to

If you're ever gonna discuss it, this is the place.

If you're like me, you need some you time

Important.

Impossible to date anybody...

In blades, please.

In every trash can from here to Midtown.

In exchange for just a small salary bump.

In French or English. Or both, if you want.

In front of God and everyone here

In high school you know, Darius' party

In New York.

In so many Lyfts that you have a 1.8 rating. (scoffs)

In that car accident

In the beginning, your body's like,

In the house, 'cause it's like you're the coach

In the weeks and months leading up to

In the world and figure out a solution.

In this room, I'm not your boss.

Indicates that your grand plan

Into a nice, bite sized piece that she can swallow.

Is a bunch of patriarchal bullshit and a total cash grab.

Is Brit bothering you again?

Is Bzzzzzzzzzz the best you can do?

Is he single?

Is it a romantic thing? I don't know.

Is it always this sticky?

Is Joel who you thought I'd end up with?

Is make a decision before all the bars reach capacity.

Is she serious?

Is that the dress? I'm not I'm not looking.

Is that your New York apartment in one bag?

Is that, like, near Bushwick?

Is that... is that something?

Is that... Oh, that was a joke, right?

Is the make‐your‐bed thing metaphorical,

Is there coffee?

Is there still weirdness here? I I... There's weirdness.

Is this a bad sign? Is he not reliable?

Is this bus going to the Big Apple?

Is this the sad story with...

Is this you giving me your number?

Is today gonna be hard for you because of Joel?

Is very proud of you.

Is why I bought the mints and the...

Isn't that weird?

Isolating on a day like today is not a good idea.

It blends it much better.

It doesn't have to all be at once.

It doesn't have to be perfect.

It doesn't matter.

It feels bad and good at the same time.

It feels kind of like a risk for you after what just happened,

It feels like it's been 50 years.

It feels so like heterosexual, all of it.

It is I, Prince Charming. Just gonna put

It is not. I was horrified.

It is, which means you've been sober longer than

It is. An adult is saying it.

It is. Yeah, yeah, it's‐it's good.

It just feels so wrong

It really meant a lot. Right, guys?

It seemed like a fun way to celebrate the holiday.

It seems like I have my shit together but, like,

It sounds like you just have imposter syndrome.

It turns out that I was right about everything

It violates health code. Mark

It was a near‐death experience

It was just a slip, don't worry about it.

It was just kind of like a hole

It was like...

It was normal ish, you know?

It was really fun.

It was years.

It was, like, all

It was, like, way too aggressive.

It was, uh, it was super weird,

It will be another ten weeks, plus three for alterations.

It will still be good enough for Smug News.

It would have been, like, two weeks.

It would just cost me more money.

It'll be fun, like a game or something.

It'll send the right message.

It's a bagel thing.

It's a gorgeous, gorgeous tent.

It's a great titty window. I'm happy for you guys.

It's a little more than half a pound.

It's a little strange‐‐ the way you two met, right?

It's a little weird.

It's a trial period.

It's about me!

It's actually a much bigger deal.

It's actually better than the Super Bowl.

It's all in the shoulders, girl.

It's all right.

It's always a Bob.

It's always about you. Can you just...

It's an actual chip.

It's an employee discount, not a bank heist.

It's been 24 hours since you left rehab.

It's been a day with some difficult choices.

It's been a while for me.

It's Boss Baby. The baby's the boss.

It's coming from the woman, so it's cool.

It's enforceable by law, okay?

It's gonna be really bad.

It's great to see you guys.

It's hard to be a person.

It's just like...

It's just, I got thrown into the deep end.

It's just, I mean...

It's just, like, a bunch of garbage people

It's just, you know, I... Reddit.

It's just...

It's just... How do you not know that?

It's just... it's not our thing.

It's kind of a temporary thing for me.

It's kind of like what I do, but fun.

It's kinda depressing, obsessing over this thing,

It's like a whole other race, but if you hydrate you're fine.

It's like being the only ******* kid in town on Christmas.

It's like the the show Intervention, you know?

It's like, it's in me, you know? Like, I just, I can't...

It's like, there's gonna be some random dude

It's like, when's the last time you've read a book?

It's love like, love is what makes a family.

It's more fun, you know, like, not in a store.

It's my first memory.

It's my first time hosting since your return.

It's my number‐one bitch, Brittany.

It's nice.

It's not blow, but it's all I have.

It's not easy to start over.

It's not even dark out. I'm good.

It's not even light out.

It's not toxic waste, it's Dad, okay?

It's not your house, it's Dad's house, it's all of our house!

It's not, like, in the med books or anything,

It's okay if your appearance changes.

It's okay, though. Hey, let me see your phone.

It's okay. I've...

It's on your boy.

It's perfect, great.

It's perfect. This is fine. Thank you so much.

It's pronounced "Stefani,"

It's really hot out, isn't it? Oh, my God.

It's really nice and mellow, it's like a warm buttery scotch.

It's really, um... brown.

It's recognized as a disease.

It's supposed to be meatballs. (short chuckle)

It's Thanksgiving, you assholes!

It's the estrogen.

It's the first dress that hasn't made me want to burst into tears

It's totally fine. I'm good.

It's water, and honestly...

It's weird, you know? He's really

It's where we always go.

It's wild, though. Uh, a couple investors from down there

It's worse now 'cause I went through with it.

It's Zack, not Zacky.

It's, um...

It's, um...

It's...

It's... That's actually perf...

JAMES: Do you want to banish me there, too? It's totally fine,

JAMES: I hate walking. It's like,

JAMES: Nurse.

JAMES: Oh, come on, man.

JAMES: Please.

James!

James.

Joel and I talked about it, and, uh,

JOEL: All right, stop right here.

JOEL: Happy birthday to my fianc‐bae!

Joel's a great guy. He's...

Joel's... really sweet.

Just as if.

Just because you bought me a drink

Just bl‐blow out the candle. It's symbolic.

Just call out for Kate Flanagan.

Just get to your car and then you're home free.

Just gonna get in there. Yeah.

Just gonna walk around, maybe buy a hot dog again.

Just in case.

Just kidding. (chuckles) Terrible joke.

Just like the state of Massachusetts requires.

Just like they tell us to. Not nervous at all.

Just list all of the ways in which

Just meet at Good Time Sally's again next Thanksgiving.

Just not other people work.

Just pissed in a corner. You got to go.

Just remember to order something sexy.

Just shoot me a text, and I'll, I'll tell you when and where.

Just so little time.

Just somebody to kind of cover local events like

Just to take, like, a quick bus trip to New York.

Just try to be a person.

Just waiting to hear back from my idiot roommates.

Just, like, catch another bus.

Just, you know, send him something you've already written

Just... Fill it, give it a wash.

Just... Hands are a little sweaty.

Just... just trying to step up to the plate, you know?

KATE: Okay, so, you know what,

KATE: You.

Katy, Kat,

Kicked the bucket.

Kids can be so appropriately cruel.

Kind of seems like there's... there's no one else

Know what's dangerous when you've been drinking?

Knowing that it could be triggering.

Lá Fhéile Pádraig sona duit!

Last Thanksgiving, you and I met at Good Time Sally's.

Last Thanksgiving.

Legs up. Like a little bunny.

Let me guess:

Let me guess. Cosmo.

Let me have it! You know what?

Let me just see your stuff, and we'll, we'll go from there.

Let me take you right to her.

Let me tell them the truth.

Let's get on the apps. We're getting you laid tonight.

Let's give a happy birthday to Brittany!

Let's go after. Let's go back inside,

Let's go find some drunks.

Let's go for a drive this afternoon.

Let's go to a meeting right now.

Let's go tomorrow, right?

Let's go. Goodbye. Just say goodbye.

Let's hope, for your sake, he's a man,

Let's just stay away from people

Let's just worry about getting the job first

Let's ride 'em, cowgirl.

Let's run her out.

Let's start with a meeting.

Like a college roommate

Like a cultural events type thing. Is the...?

Like an OJ or a seltz? Cranberry...

Like Gwen.

Like I just said, yeah?

Like I made out with a finance bro

Like on Extreme Home Makeover,

Like seven generations,

Like the stuff that kills teens on 60 Minutes. It's...

Like you're some character in Manifest

Like, another set of eyes or something,

Like, are you writing at all, or what's up?

Like, even a smile,

Like, how does that work?

Like, I think knowing that would be

Like, I would wake up just with a dog

Like, it can't end here.

Like, it's a lot.

Like, just some colleagues and some

Like, not even my own dad's.

Like, people are gonna get food poisoning.

Like, really sore right here?

Like, so much edamame, because

Like, take me, for example.

Like, the one I just had today

Like, they have swelled up

Like, this if we were still at Bzzzzzzzzz,

Like, we you would have to check for fibroids,

Like, we talked about building a house,

Like, what did this nose grow into? You know?

Like, why can't I just be fit?

Like, you're the one that brought me to this thing.

Like, you're writing, but there's parties.

Like, you've seen my high school yearbook,

Like, your whole culture, and your background,

Listen to wild Tibetan bells.

Listen, here's my card. I want you to call my assistant.

Listen, I can't help you find someone,

Listen, just be yourself.

Listen, listen, Sam...

Listen, we're on different timelines, you know?

Little Miss Perfect asking me for drugs

Little tip, though?

Live off the land and have all the sex?

Living with Mom. We're like Grey Gardens on acid, you know?

Locally sourced, if possible.

Locked myself out of my place, so

Long apology letters and... a ton of letters.

Long Island Iced Tea.

Look at her.

Look at you cute girls.

Look, I am in a little bit of trouble here.

Look, I am very, very sorry.

Look, I don't want to brag.

Look, I know it's weird, but I just...

Look, I'm sorry, but you did the damage,

Look, I'm‐I'm just saying maybe if you read more,

Look, Sam, um...

Look, sometimes sponsees fail.

Look, this is coming out really wrong.

Look, this isn't my dream to have to ask you.

Look, we're on the same team, okay?

Look, you want me out.

Look, you were right. You know?

Looks delicious.

Looks pretty good for something cooked in a parking lot.

Lose the sundae.

Love it.

Love the leggings.

Love you, too. Okay, b... bye. Bye.

Love you.

Lucas, James cannot drink and keep a job like this.

LUCAS: I realize now it just makes you look like

LUCAS: Okay. I am...

LUCAS: So, on that show,

LUCAS: Yo, bro.

Lucas.

Ma'am, I got a lot of houses to get to.

Made him the higher parent and you the evil witch.

Magna cum laude from NYU and

Maintain your sobriety, go to meetings,

Make a night out of it. You know,

Make me 30 years younger.

Makes the eyes pop a bit, yeah.

MAN (over P. A.): Shamrock cupcake special:

MAN (over P. A.): Shoppers, stock up on all things green.

MAN (over P. A.): The next train to board will be a high‐capacity train.

Man, can you imagine if I was like shot, snip, shot, snip?

MAN: I grew up with two younger sisters and one older brother.

MAN: What are we drinking to?

MAN: What's your size, kid?

Manager to bakery. Manager to bakery.

Mark Ruffalo, what an actor.

Marry someone just 'cause you said you would, and...

May I have some medical assistance,

Maybe find joy in things that aren't triggering.

Maybe have a little chat with the cute concessions guy,

Maybe he, like, changed his mind?

Maybe if you sit here long enough you'll remember.

Maybe it would be nice if you were at our wedding.

Maybe she doesn't understand it

Maybe we do it every year.

Maybe you should ask that girl Chloe.

Maybe, you know, you and Zack could come over,

Maybe...

Me too.

Me, too.

Me, too.

Me? I'm the problem.

Men like it when you say you give free haircuts

Might be kind of fun to do both.

Milkshakes are on me @rollerland!

Mindy, thank you for being the greatest boss I've ever had,

MINDY: Oh, okay, cool.

Mine.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm‐hmm.

Mm‐hmm. (laughs)

Mm‐hmm. Okay. Yeah. I called the call.

Mm‐mmm.

Mm‐mmm.

Mm, I bet.

Mm, it's the best time to do it.

Mm, join the club.

Mm, we should drink to me.

Mm, you would be a Pisces.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm. That's nice.

Mm. Time for me to come clean.

Mm. Yeah, you don't really have to lie about it. It's okay.

Mm...

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Let's hear his voice.

Mom, I'm hungry.

Mom, there's, like, laws against this.

Mom. Hold on a second, it's...

Mom's ashes and spread them in the Charles,

Money behind your back. I get it.

Money for the muggers, you know, if you get mugged,

Morality and...

More seriously this time, and I...

Most of my friends forgave me.

Mwah! Have a good one.

My 30‐day chip soon, so...

My baby asleep yet or what?

My baby, I think she meant, like,

My beautiful Samantha.

My ch‐my chest, I don't think isn't supposed

My daughter is a felon.

My family doesn't really believe in therapy.

My fishing gear in the, uh, the closet, here, okay?

My girl's getting laid.

My guy, um...

My job as her sponsor is to help her stay sober.

My job. My drinking. Name it.

My mom has a Bob, but his name's Daryl.

My old boss might have a job for me in New York.

My shift just ended, so...

My sister's husband just died.

My successful second born son

Name one you like.

Napkins.

NARRATOR: Freeform's Single Drunk Female now

Nathaniel Nathaniel?

NATHANIEL: Oh, there she is! Sammy Fink!

NATHANIEL: Shut up!

Nathaniel!

Nathaniel? Hey, wait, hang on.

Never ask the customers how thin they want it.

Never even done it before.

Never thought I'd see the day. Aren't you getting married,

New coding job, I just think he should do the honors.

Next time. Okay.

Next to the toilet? It's a lot of risks.

Nice initiative, Samantha.

Nine very boring and miserable days.

No can we‐‐

No idea what you're talking about.

No offense at all intended, but you can't sit with me

No one can tell. I... (scoffs) Relax.

No one in this family drinks.

No one really cares about The Boston Globe anymore.

No one told me this was like the high school cafeteria

No such thing as too slutty at a wedding.

No way‐‐ Sam! What's up?

No, come on, one more drink, Ronnie.

No, dude, that's, like, a really bad idea, okay?

No, for a variety of reasons.

No, honestly, it's fine.

No, I came as fast as I could, considering I can't drive

No, I did the infrastructure, the coding, all of it.

No, I don't want to try it. I don't have a death wish.

No, I don't.

No, I don't...

No, I got a new job. It's in coding.

No, I guess I'm I'm surprised

No, I I... I'll get on those apps

No, I know, but I need the bad bitch haircut

No, I know. It's...

No, I like... I got in the best shape of my life

No, I started to feel my body again.

No, I'm so happy for you two.

No, I'm... I'm happy to do it.

No, it really isn't.

No, it...

No, it's just weird. I've seen you every week for, like,

No, it's not, actually.

No, it's not, it's not really ready yet.

No, Joel was not the right person for Samantha.

No, Joel's always telling me to relax.

No, no need. I knew I wanted it before you got here.

No, no, but I'm not there anymore.

No, no, don't go near that. Something's always oozing.

No, no, I don't buy it.

No, no, I get it. I worked at this restaurant in high school,

No, no, I...

No, no, it's fine. I was just gonna say that I don't think

No, no, listen, listen, listen, I'm only back because

No, no, no, but it's my blame, like, I...

No, no, no, come on.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

No, no, no, no, no. But over the next 12 months,

No, no, no, no, no. It's way too early for amends.

No, no, no, that's the worst part by, like, a long shot.

No, no, no, the bar has to be higher than

No, no, that's not it. Um...

No, no.

No, not hungover, hungover. Just emotionally hungover.

No, not you IG'ing this, girl. No.

No, of course they can. Right.

No, of course. And, uh, have a‐have a good day,

No, seriously, I think about it, like, all the time.

No, seriously.

No, uh, sorry.

No, you're not, come on.

No!

No? Okay.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. ‐(bells stop)

No. Absolutely not.

No. Come on. No.

No. First of all, it's Massachusetts state law,

No. I‐I can't get involved

No. No, I can't.

No. Okay, it's not a yucky game show, it's DNA.

No. That's my therapist. Sidney.

No. Yeah, I'm gonna pretend I didn't say that

No... Wait.

Nobody does anything better drunk.

Nope.

NOREEN: It was nice to meet you, Gail.

Not 'till after the meeting, I'm afraid. (chuckles)

Not a lot of money, but give it a few months.

Not about Bob!

Not as easy as it looks when Doris does it.

Not do well, it's like a serpent.

Not everyone who doesn't sleep with me is a serial killer.

Not going anywhere.

Not in ten days.

Not just at the meat counter, Brit.

Not my problem. So, you're gonna get a job,

Not really.

Not that it's a big deal or anything.

Not that... Uh, hey, 'cause

Not the type to ghost, so...

Not to fornicate in my bathroom, all right?

Not to lift anything after implantation, but

Not with alcohol.

Not yet, no.

Not, like, a super famous one,

Nothing.

Nothing. You turned in

Now I'm gonna go roast a chicken.

Now now? Yep, great.

Now, boy.

Of being the good person. It's your turn now.

Of course, the bad news is that I'm still dead.

Of course. You two were inseparable.

Of drinks, and I'll be back soon, hopefully.

Of me and my wife and...

Of taking care of her.

Of the evil wizard Drinko,

Of the night goes first. But, so far, A plus date.

Of you to show me the ropes and everything, but I'm actually not

Of your skank cake. (laughs)

Of your soccer high school team

Oh my God, thank you. Wait, don't leave,

Oh, and I saw a plant in his pictures.

Oh, boy, okay.

Oh, boy.

Oh, Brit.

Oh, Brit's here.

Oh, forget that dude. You know what?

Oh, God, it's so late.

Oh, good. Okay, great.

Oh, great. That'll make it look much more natural.

Oh, ha. Gross.

Oh, hang on a second, man. Hey.

Oh, have I mentioned that I love you, Ronnie?

Oh, he the one who sued the Boy Scouts

Oh, he's with Joel. I just...

Oh, hey, buttface just texted you.

Oh, hey, we're like siblings.

Oh, hey. Hi!

Oh, hi, Samantha. I'm Stephanie.

Oh, hi, sorry. Uh, I'm Samantha.

Oh, I didn't get it while I was drinking.

Oh, I didn't invite her.

Oh, I didn't kiss the mezuzah. Oh.

Oh, I had one of the good ones.

Oh, I just... I thought I left a box back here.

Oh, I thought you were my burrito.

Oh, I would never drink in Midtown.

Oh, I'm just... Sit down.

Oh, I'm so sorry for the confusion. We are in a car.

Oh, is it the the last $2,000?

Oh, it is you again.

Oh, it's... it's bad, isn't it?

Oh, just going right in for it, huh?

Oh, Katrina.

Oh, like how you left my kid?

Oh, like the hurricane.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Oh, man. (clears throat) Uh, hi,

Oh, my That's the highest squat of all time!

Oh, my God, Felicia, you're so awesome.

Oh, my God, I came out of my mother's womb screaming,

Oh, my God, I got rear ended

Oh, my God, I hadn't thought about that part.

Oh, my God, I... just so many great options,

Oh, my God, I'm so proud of you.

Oh, my God, if you find my passport,

Oh, my God, stop texting.

Oh, my God, they're doing karaoke here now.

Oh, my God, this is a lot.

Oh, my God, you're right.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. And then did you throw up again? Like...

Oh, my God. Are you okay? Did you get hurt?

Oh, my God. I mean...

Oh, my God. I've definitely heard of you.

Oh, my God. It's Sam.

Oh, my God. Like, I knew you drank, but today?

Oh, my God. See? This is the kind of stuff I love.

Oh, my God. Seriously?

Oh, my God. That sounds terrifying.

Oh, my God. That was beautiful.

Oh, my God. Totally.

Oh, my God. Well, I mean, obviously,

Oh, my gosh, it's so heavy.

Oh, my Samantha is back in town.

Oh, no team, just me.

Oh, no, he's at Smug Media now.

Oh, no, I only had two today.

Oh, no, it's gonna be just fine.

Oh, no, no, no. It's nothing like that.

Oh, no, you should keep the boat.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. (laughing)

Oh, no. I can't believe he told a woman to relax.

Oh, no. No way. Come o... We...

Oh, of course you didn't.

Oh, oh, is that something that friends do‐‐

Oh, okay, good. What do I do?

Oh, okay, I'll stay in bed for another

Oh, okay, well, we got a book club going if you'd like

Oh, one more thing.

Oh, really? Ugh. Don't put that crap in your body. It's not

Oh, she's a she?

Oh, shit, I forgot the Saran.

Oh, shit. I'm drinking.

Oh, so that's the reason you dragged us here.

Oh, sorry, okay? I didn't want to be traceable, you know?

Oh, sorry. Think I'm on your jacket.

Oh, speaking of that. I'm really sorry

Oh, thank‐thank you.

Oh, that last time was me, actually.

Oh, that means it's working.

Oh, that was it? Wow, okay, great, thank you so much.

Oh, that's all right.

Oh, that's so cute. No.

Oh, that's the beauty of a Banger, baby.

Oh, there she is!

Oh, they're about to start the butt cheek race!

Oh, this is my godson, Zacky.

Oh, this shit is good.

Oh, this, like, new podcast I've been listening to.

Oh, uh, public intoxication,

Oh, uh, yeah, it's fine. Um...

Oh, uh, yeah, you know, just like classic alcoholic stuff,

Oh, uh, yeah. Just a piece about...

Oh, uh...

Oh, um, I don't know. (short chuckle)

Oh, um, look, o‐owning a boat is not a real problem.

Oh, we know each other from work.

Oh, well, God, we got to fix that ASAP, then, huh?

Oh, well, what is she doing?

Oh, wow. Me too.

Oh, wow. Okay.

Oh, yeah, girl. The truth'll set you free.

Oh, yeah, listen, no, it's, like, super nice

Oh, yeah, well, you just need to zip it up.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we are. Um,

Oh, yeah? Fight me.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. (clears throat)

Oh, yeah. I'm not even that drunk, so...

Oh, yeah. You should have seen me back in the day,

Oh, yes.

Oh, you are a genius.

Oh, you are already flying, baby.

Oh, you bailed on the wedding.

Oh, you got to pace yourself.

Oh, you mean hot dance party Chloe?

Oh, you're looking for the hookup?

Oh, you're not going to jail.

Oh! My God, that's good.

Oh! Soon we'll all be working for James, someday.

Oh! Uh, there's Aunt Teresa and her roommate Gwen.

Oh! Wait, wait, wait. You're very drunk,

Oh! Who's this new person with an opinion

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. (chuckles)

Oh. (grunts)

Oh. (scoffs)

Oh. I could do this all night, but we got to go.

Oh. I didn't get any in mine. Weird.

Oh. Manifest. Great show.

Oh. Maybe we could sit at the same table.

Oh. Methinks milady

Oh. No, uh, no system architect?

Oh. Okay.

Oh. Or she's deaf. Mm.

Oh. Thank you.

Oh. What are you getting all tarted‐up for?

Oh. Yeah, no. I'm, uh, I'm sober.

Oh. Yeah. We're about to go jogging.

Oh...

Oh... I will text you right now.

Oh... my God.

Okay, all right. You're good. You're...

Okay, are you apologizing to me?

Okay, but my family probably spent

Okay, but...

Okay, can you, um, can you not let me off the hook,

Okay, Carol, come on.

Okay, come on in.

Okay, don't look at it like that,

Okay, don't sit.

Okay, fine. Whatever.

Okay, I got a little nervous and I had...

Okay, I know. Wow, that's really responsible of you.

Okay, I love you. Hang in there.

Okay, I‐I read, Brit.

Okay, if she wants to bring it up with me, sure.

Okay, it's actually a lot more difficult than it looks,

Okay, it's like, it's like this dude Jordan.

Okay, Kate.

Okay, Kyle Chandler, I love you. Five minutes.

Okay, look, I just...

Okay, Mom, I really do need to tell you something.

Okay, no, I don't hate it.

Okay, no. (scoffs)

Okay, ok okay get me...

Okay, okay, wait. What if we did, like, a vow?

Okay, ready? Here we go.

Okay, so I have to ask my mom for money.

Okay, so what's next? Maybe we go to Fenway.

Okay, so, clearly, it's been a minute.

Okay, so, I don't really know how to say this, but, um...

Okay, so, I'm sitting at the bar, right?

Okay, so, my place. Yeah.

Okay, so, uh, how we doing this?

Okay, sorry. I'm sorry. Can we j‐can we just start over?

Okay, thank you... thank you. Thank you for that.

Okay, that makes me feel a little bit better,

Okay, then, in that case, why's it matter?

Okay, this is my favorite part.

Okay, well, I'm just glad you're okay.

Okay, well, if you need a meeting go to Club 24/7‐‐

Okay, well, the trim's gonna help, first of all.

Okay, what‐what... what can I do

Okay, you are smart

Okay, you know what, you go lie down

Okay?

Okay? And you are not alone in this.

Okay? I just... That's when we got together.

Okay? I know you're out of practice. Just say what you mean

Okay? I'm a full‐time mom.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. (chuckling)

Okay. (mumbles)

Okay. Barkeep, did you know that this woman hates free things?

Okay. Cashier and then Peabody and then

Okay. Go.

Okay. Great.

Okay. Have fun.

Okay. I mean, it was on, like, ten wedding websites

Okay. I mean, it's your wedding,

Okay. I'll find 'em.

Okay. I'm gonna talk to her.

Okay. I'm thankful I don't live in this shit town anymore.

Okay. Let's select some semen.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Thank you for sharing. I'm pretty sure I feel worse.

Okay. This dude won't even know what hit him.

Okay. Uh, well, eat one for me.

Okay. Um, what kind of stuff do you want to publish here?

Okay. Well...

Okay. Yeah, I'll take this one.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, no problem. I've just been chilling here,

Okay. You brought Dad?

Okay. You know what?

Okay. You're no help.

Okay...

Old Cosmos. Um...

Oliv...

Olivia keeps telling me to be more present.

Olivia, you're gonna have another baby?

OLIVIA: Hi.

OLIVIA: Hi.

OLIVIA: Hi.

OLIVIA: In the beginning, your body's like, don't drink.

OLIVIA: Sam.

OLIVIA: See you in there.

OLIVIA: We get it.

Olivia... (chuckles)

On all the wedding planning stuff, and I just

On Joan Didion's "Leaving New York."

On me. This was your first try.

On Mondays, I go to the movies.

On second thought...

On the, um, the creepy judges,

On, like, backstage stuff.

On, uh, Baby Boss movie night with you and Zack

One could argue that I left you high and dry

One day at a time.

One drink.

One that was actually kinda decent,

Only the swear words. It's fine. Hi.

Onward, Christian soldier.

Oof. That flew by.

Ooh, but I want to kiss you.

Ooh, I love that flick. Seen it five times.

Ooh, thank God. I got to pee. Jesus.

Ooh, that was rough.

Ooh, who said that?

Ooh.

Open your eyes.

Open your mind. What do you see?

Or "you're rude to your co workers"

Or any feelings come up, just

Or find another place to live.

Or I could actually read it. I know how to read.

Or jump off a bridge

Or keys.

Or like he doesn't recognize me anymore

Or should I really do that?

Or we can just pretend like it never happened.

Or, as I like to call it, The Purge for Sober People.

Or, like, a business card on a chair so nobody takes your seat.

Or, uh, uh, "We need four cc's of vital fluids, stat!"

Otherwise known as reckless assault.

Otherwise, why did you survive?

Ouch. I still live here.

Our parents were loving but very hardworking.

Out of the apple, I was just... It happens.

Out of three violins.

Outlander style field sex, Jamie?

Ow!

Ow!

Own daughter, your terribly in‐debt daughter,

Padraig Byrne. He's, like, top ten. He's awesome.

Part of your recovery is to act like an adult

Pee in a cup, for old time's sake?

Phew! (laughs)

Picture my mom a mom

Pierce Brosnan. That I would get.

Please don't do that. Okay? Seriously?

Please, please. I really...

Pour it out on the ground. This place is a shithole.

Praying. Sorry for loving the Lord.

Pretty sure that's not what happened.

R‐Right? Yeah? Is that...

Raise my hand as a newcomer,

Ready to party. (giggles)

Really appreciate the invitation, but

Really, really good, impressive.

Really?

Really? Oh, my God.

Reddit's really reliable these days, I mean, right?

Relax. I had, uh, dental surgery.

Repeat after me:

Respect.

Right here. Y...

Right now. That bodega feels very familiar.

Right, and we have a hot date to, uh, put away groceries,

Right, no, I am, I am genuinely sorry,

Right, okay.

Right, totally. I'll just, um...

Right? Everything now is like,

Right? I had an eye patch for a month.

Right? Like, we just got here.

Right? So, yes, of course.

Right? Yeah. Come on. You're good.

Right.

Right.

Right. (exhales) Um...

Right. All right, so I'll, uh,

Right. I hear you.

Right. Of course not.

Right. Personally...

Right. Well, is any of that publishable? 'Cause, I mean...

Right. Well, what are you looking for?

Right. Yeah, Zack said he wanted to come to Roller Land today

Romantically.

RONNIE (laughs): Yeah.

RONNIE: Stay out of the bathroom.

RONNIE: What you having?

Ronnie!

Ruined my relationship with my friends,

S... I love you.

S... uh, stuck at work.

Sad, empty shell of a human being.

Sam, can I talk to you?

Sam, just get out, please.

Sam, life moves forward even if you don't.

Sam, Sam, hey, hey. Hey.

Sam, what are you doing here?

Sam, what are you doing?

Sam!

Sam! You never listen to me.

Sam.

Sam.

Sam. Come on, we can't do this.

Sam. Don't come in here.

Sam. Hey, thought you were gonna share today?

Sam. What are you doing here?

Sam...

Sam's weird relationship with alcohol.

Samantha broke the law. She's a felon.

Samantha is up for a job in New York.

Samantha was gonna stay in New York after college,

Samantha, here's the thing.

Samantha, I want to get my groove back.

Samantha, just me let me take a look.

Samantha, say hi to James.

Samantha, you're back from New York.

SAMANTHA: Backstabber.

SAMANTHA: Come on. Are serious?

SAMANTHA: Donna with the doughnuts, what's up?

SAMANTHA: How is it so much?

SAMANTHA: I followed you on Instagram.

SAMANTHA: Just doing the best that I can.

SAMANTHA: Mm‐hmm. Yeah.

SAMANTHA: Oh...

SAMANTHA: She's marrying my ex.

SAMANTHA: Stupid dimples.

SAMANTHA: Way to bury the lede, man.

SAMANTHA: Yeah, I was just thinking, uh,

SAMANTHA: You guys really love your cakes.

Samantha!

Samantha.

Samantha. I know that

Samantha. Uh, so, I was just spreading the word.

Samantha...

Samantha...

Sammy, I respect your right to look like a hot mess,

Sammy, Sam, Sam, Sam.

Sammy. What are you doing here?

Schtupping her friend Bob.

SCOTTIE PIPPEN: This is Scottie Pippen,

See you inside.

Seriously, I've got, like, plenty of options.

Seriously, that piece that you did

Seriously, uh, you're, like, my last friend on Earth, so...

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously?

Seriously. I was just trying to say that, like,

Set up a meeting.

Seven, eight, whatever you've got's fine.

She always thinks someone's gonna steal Josh.

She asked if I was using a vibrator.

She called in sick, but you know what that means today.

She can add it to the list of things

She can't come out with us.

She can't go. That's it.

She doesn't have a lot of luck in that area.

She doesn't stand a chance in hell with Pierce Brosnan.

She hit me up today, while I was wearing a hairnet,

She is getting married.

She just gets disappointed.

She just said that you're great and that

She says she doesn't want me out, but I know she does.

She sits like a lady and reads thick‐ass books.

She told me all about how you were the star

She usually helps the elderly with their groceries and such.

She was getting laid, okay? If I don't see some action soon,

She was such a bitch. It would be just like her

She's a delight. She fits right in.

She's a real lady.

She's already mad at me for.

She's always saying it reminds her of Wild Wild Country.

She's gorgeous.

She's in all different departments, right?

She's just a kid in in a big city,

She's kind of the best sponsor you can get.

She's launching a girl‐power athleisure company.

She's our top candidate for the party reporter job.

She's sober, guys. But it's cool.

She's working

Shit.

Should I get married?

Should we go to bed?

Show up for the people that matter

Show up for the people that matter, and they

SIDNEY: I sincerely hope you don't come back.

Sign here.

Sign this thing that proves I was here?

Since she's marrying my ex‐boyfriend, but no.

Since you wanted to meet at a coffee shop.

Sing a verse of "Man! I Feel Like a Woman,"

Sit over there.

Sitting in your office, I'd be watching

Sitting up all night,

Six months sober is when it happened for me, too.

Size four.

Skates all the way, baby.

Smile, let me buy you a drink.

Smug Media, they're owned by a parent corporation.

Smushy smush.

Snooping around white folks' house without their permission.

So cute.

So do you guys want to, like, hang out with us?

So great.

So here's the plan.

So I could get through the day

So I just want to make sure I have your consent.

So I might be a bit of a gamer.

So I slept with some really disgusting people.

So I'm gonna be real. Uh, that's a terrible idea.

So I'm gonna get to that, and you ladies have a nice evening.

So I'm gonna just cling to you like a barnacle.

So I'm now at Smug Media.

So I'm pretty lucky.

So if there is anything‐‐ like, really anything‐‐

So if you want to look at more,

So liberating.

So lovely, hon.

So many times? I'm not a jogger.

So not around a lot.

So not only will our users have access to a social network

So she needed to meet that person

So that makes it not my fault.

So that nobody takes your seat.

So this is a date now?

So turn inward. Come on.

So we can keep doing this.

So weird. I thought I blocked you.

So what are you gonna do?

So what is the usual time frame for being recovered?

So when you name a place, I got to

So while we just try and take care of things,

So why not just build our house?

So work's been a bit of a shit show.

So you can slut, slut, slut!

So you could be alone with Bob!

So you could work from anywhere

So you don't starve before the ceremony, okay?

So you were at the good table at your high school cafeteria?

So you'll talk to my daughter.

So you're gonna have to figure it out.

So you've got however long it takes for this song to finish

So, anyway, I went to physical therapy,

So, help me understand.

So, how's‐how's work going?

So, I was just wondering...

So, I'll just start over tomorrow.

So, if you're open to it, I would like to pick your brain.

So, it's really lucky that I ran into you,

So, like, even though they're,

So, like, you know what, dude man, how about this?

So, Mom, I... I just...

So, my sobriety app isn't a replacement for meetings,

So, number one‐‐

So, rehab?

So, s start here and walk forward.

So, so, fishing stuff is kind of, like, garage materials.

So, stay on your path, and your case will be dismissed

So, that's cool. Sober, huh?

So, the State of New York

So, to be clear, your question is

So, uh, grab my purse.

So, um...

So, we can be monsters together.

So, what are you up to?

So, what brings you here today?

So, what brought you out in the first place, anyway?

So, what happened to what happened to Topher?

So, what happens when he gets here?

So, what is the problem?

So, what is the usual time frame

So, what‐‐ you try to convert people

So, what, what should we do?

So, what's going on? Is it jitters?

So, what's going on? Parents only come to me

So, where are you, uh, living, anyway?

So, where's the rest of your team?

So, you know, he'd get so wasted

So, you know.

So, you ready to suck it up and suck it?

So, you wanna buy it?

So, you were there, uh,

So, you're gonna lock yourself in

So, your lucky streak continues.

So?

So...

So...

So... Hi, baby,

So... maybe later.

So... so what do I do?

So... so what is happening?

So... so, you just, like, cross your legs.

So... yeah.

Sober Sam. On the prowl.

Sober? I don't know.

Some moral inventories and, like, long amends letters,

Some‐some fast math.

Somebody you've known your whole life

Someone changed the meeting time and didn't tell me?

Someone older, who uses less creamer.

Someone who can engage with her,

Something good to Nathaniel, and I got it.

Something humiliating, but that story's, like, kind of adorable.

Something that's, you know, a little snarky, kinda bitchy,

Something... I...

Sometimes difficult times in between.

Sometimes I forget to get excited, but we are.

Son, hey. Now, we got to say grace first.

Sor... I thought that you liked the boat neck one.

Sorry for the delay.

Sorry that you're going through so much.

Sorry to interrupt.

Sorry, but...

Sorry, Carol.

Sorry, I just feel like

Sorry, I thought you wanted to see me.

Sorry, I'm gonna step out for one second.

Sorry, I'm just, uh, trying to loosen up. Uh,

Sorry, I'm just... I'm, like, really trying to apologize.

Sorry, oh, I... You...

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Yes.

Sorry, this feels weird. Uh...

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. My sister is still "grieving."

Sort of our last hurrah before we have a baby.

Sounds epic.

Speaking of time, I just want to remind you

St. Patrick's Day, yes. Tomorrow for the mezuzah.

Standing way far away from me now.

STEPHANIE: It's so wild. Like, they show you photos

STEPHANIE: Smush. I'm smushing the tush.

Stop.

Streaming new episodes Fridays.

Stuff and feelings or whatever.

Such a boner killer.

Such good produce.

Suck it, suck it, suck it, suck it,

Suck it.

Supposed to be my job, right?

Sure you don't want me to, like,

Sure, yeah.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure. (short chuckle) Always on call,

Sure. It's weird. Where'd you hear that?

Sure. Um, I will just

Surprise.

Swear to God I could drive a school bus.

Sweet.

Tailored to their recovery needs,

Take two shots of tequila, take out the laptop.

Talk about what?

Talk me down off the ledge about that IVF appointment,

Talking to various people, charming babies, you know.

Technically not sober, but when in Rome.

Tell her not to go.

Tell her not to go. Samantha does not belong in New York.

Tell her she needs to stay with me longer.

Tell Jordan I said hi.

Tequila shot?

Than I ever could.

Thank you for picking me up.

Thank you for saying I look pretty while I

Thank you for saying that.

Thank you for sharing with us.

Thank you for taking me through, uh, most of the steps.

Thank you so much for this,

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much. Okay.

Thank you, officer.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Bye.

Thank you. Can we take a rain check?

Thank you. Have a good life.

Thank you. Really nice to meet you.

Thank you. Sam, how you feeling?

Thanks for not making me take the T.

Thanks for the support and the jogging

Thanks?

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks. Let's go!

Thanks. My wife makes these.

Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday,

That cannot be true.

That exercise increases your libido.

That felt good. (laughs)

That felt so good to say out loud.

That he didn't turn stuff in on time.

That I can excel here.

That I kept digging and digging and digging.

That I pay on time. I even recycle,

That I'd keep an eye on you.

That if you make so much as one slip‐up,

That is an interesting question.

That is not what I meant.

That is what my book group calls

That Jesus,

That Joel is a lucky duck.

That knit the pussy hats for the women's march, so...

That means that you're good too, right?

That once you finally order the dress,

That sounds a lot like a prayer, man.

That sounds great. But I can't.

That that thing you sent me is brilliant.

That there? Okay.

That turned into a Class A misdemeanor.

That was messed up, man. You need help.

That was my life for a month, because of you.

That was romantic.

That was so messed‐up. I mean...

That was such a tough year for you.

That way, you preserve the juiciness.

That will bring us to a new frontier in wellness.

That works, too.

That would be so wonderful.

That you guys are doing this. You know I mean that.

That you just see me as your drinking buddy.

That your new boyfriend is slipping your kid

That's 16 points. That's pretty good.

That's a really nice offer, Sam.

That's a tight hug at most.

That's a... that's an awesome name.

That's actually why I want the drugs. You know?

That's all it was.

That's amazing.

That's awful. That is pretty bad.

That's easy.

That's fine. Okay.

That's good. Hey, come here for a sec.

That's great. I'm good at my job.

That's how dependable you are.

That's how much my hand was shaking.

That's it? Okay. See, I thought you were gonna say

That's it? What's the next step?

That's it. There's no deeper reason than that.

That's my last name: Flanagan.

That's not the point. The point is I was jealous

That's okay?

That's plant based, organic,

That's right! I was, uh, Pete Davidson.

That's so sweet, but...

That's so unprofessional of them.

That's supposed to be anonymous.

That's that's what it is. The vows.

That's the most important part.

That's totally fine, too, but, i‐in the meantime,

That's why I thought of you, but, um...

That's why they call it futures.

That's your first sober paycheck.

That's, that's new.

The best deal you'd ever seen, I wouldn't be

The best high pony in Greater Boston.

The best piece of advice I can give you‐‐

The cake that's been in the display case for four months?

The color. Teeny. Teeny. Here...

The day of Thanksgiving.

The difference is, I actually got out.

The entire night worrying about me.

The getting lucky area.

The good news is this means that things are going well.

The green beer, I'm gonna scream.

The husband did it. Or the priest.

The keys... Ooh!

The legal mess and whatnot.

The mac and cheese balls at the Purple Shamrock

The meeting ended ten minutes ago, Sam.

The one who had you carried out of the building

The one with the foot fetish, I thought that was really great.

The only one who ate these snacks.

The only risk is if you didn't clear it

The only thing you need to do is to stay sober today.

The plane disappeared for five years,

The prodigal daughter returns.

The prodigal son hath returned. (chuckles)

The rest of us have been doing the best we can

The second we get off.

The state of Massachusetts doesn't offer extra credit.

The steps are in order for a reason.

The tow truck was late all kinds of stupid stuff.

The way I do it,

The whole time you've been drinking.

The‐the near‐death experience was breaking your tibia?

The, like, rejecting me

Then you sprinkle it really liberally with salt

There are so many opportunities for you here.

There are years that are just foggy.

There was a lot less accountability.

There was this vodka rum brain freeze that was perfect.

There were a lot of things that made me want to drink, Mom.

There were worries when your name came up

There you go, let it fall nicely.

There you go. Yeah, see? Fits perfectly.

There's a burglar here.

There's a new house, not a field of...

There's a silver lining.

There's barf flowing in the streets and none of it is ours.

There's no such thing as one drink with us.

There's plenty of toilets, it's like a mansion.

There's snacks.

There's snacks. Come on.

There's two of 'em. One you'd expect,

There's, like, seven seasons of Summer House

These are your friends.

These these aren't laced, right? 'Cause I just

They always forget that I'm sober.

They are God's greatest gift to me, huh?

They don't even make parts for it anymore,

They give me a discount if I bring a new customer, so...

They had to drink, and... and it doesn't make sense, 'cause

They have one of the best Dobro players in the world.

They just had to get that day in there.

They might if they knew the alternative.

They say the secret to sobriety is one day at a time,

They seemed fun in Thelma and Louise.

They want to talk about a Series A funding round.

They would've called me, like, the Doggy Bandit or something.

They're always like, "You're a mess"

They're at a bar.

They're having meetings all day. Just stay off of Instagram.

They're my book club.

They're so cute.

They're so late.

They're still together. Wow, good for Carol.

They're this incredible group of lesbians.

They're very lucky if that kale is all for them.

They're yours if you like cash.

This cake has been alive. How cool is that?

This girl's amazing, and she deserves

This is a classic alcoholic anxiety dream.

This is a duck and a puppy who are best friends.

This is a lot of stuff to get while you're drinking.

This is about you... growing up.

This is bullshit, Ronnie.

This is feeling like it's turning into a thing,

This is great.

This is my friend Brit, she's interested in purchasing

This is my hairnet.

This is not something you want to do alone.

This is really hard.

This is ridiculous.

This is Samantha. She's one my sponsees.

This is the aforementioned Sam.

This is the kind of hell you're gonna put me through.

This is the meat slicer.

This is very you, I think. I mean, you can pull off

This is water.

This is, like, pretty small‐town inevitable, right?

This might be a waste of your time.

This place is nice.

This place just doesn't feel good for me.

This store, they open at 7:00. It's the only place you can get

This time, you're gonna suck it all in when I say "suck it."

This totally doesn't work here.

This was on the floor when I got in there.

This whole area's gonna break off and drift out to sea.

This will be epic.

This would be a perfect listicle.

This would have wound up very differently.

This, my God.

Those all stem from your drinking.

Those are for the book club.

Those are, uh, for the drinks.

Though you were a little dramatic, even for you.

Thought this was my one chance and...

Thought you could have one glass of wine.

Thought you guys would be done now.

Thought you were a feminist. Women can be drug dealers, too.

Three Hail Marys in the mirror. Boom. Ready to slay.

Three. Cool.

Throw it in. In the water.

Throw it that way, and you run the opposite direction.

Thursdays, uh... well, this Thursday

Tina, stop showing off your titty window to Sam.

To a traditional Irish band.

To be exact. (chuckles)

To be inviting a man in.

To be used against me by you.

To be with, to be with me, you know.

To come back from the other side and torture me.

To everybody that I hated in high school, so there you go.

To feel better and I just wanted to say thanks for the cash.

To figure out, like, what do you actually do?

To go with the crazy nails.

To God and the... I say yes to the dress. Amen.

To just, like, rip my bra off and sit on the couch

To launch Girl Boston,

To make it all good, you know? I...

To make one big glorious front boob.

To make you feel comfortable?

To mop up that puddle of festive‐looking vomit.

To our champagne problems.

To relax your mind and body.

To sign that for you, okay?

To smush tush was either way too short

To tell him you have a job interview?

To the Christmas party?

To the party bus and your part's $5,000.

To us‐‐ there is bar flowing in the streets

Today's about young love, not getting high, so...

Today's got to be a hard day for you, huh?

Tommy, two beers, two shots.

Tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Too shook up to text? Hi.

Totally, yep.

Treat every day like a quest in a video game.

True passion in life, which is

Trust me, the chicken will work better.

Turn it upside down.

Two boxes for only $3.99.

Two percent milk, water...

Two story, Cape Cod style, four bedrooms, two baths,

Ugh. Hey, Ronnie, will you please get a drink

Uh huh. Yeah, he's the best.

Uh‐huh.

Uh‐huh. Like what? What do you do?

Uh‐huh. Yeah, I just think

Uh‐huh. Yeah, sure, or you could just tell them the truth

Uh, actually, I kinda think that, like...

Uh, all right, I'm gonna

Uh, all right. I'm just spitballing here.

Uh, an apology is words.

Uh, binge for us all.

Uh, Bonjour, bonjour, what's up. It's your girl Angeline.

Uh, but if you haven't watched it,

Uh, but not the new self from today, just, you know...

Uh, can you just... can you go get Angeline to come in here?

Uh, clearly, Joel has a great head on his shoulders.

Uh, come on, come on, come on. We've had such a great night.

Uh, do you have any IPAs?

Uh, do you want some extra tokens, buddy?

Uh, Felicia... I'm sorry, okay? Wha...

Uh, hi. I have three days.

Uh, how's your dad's contracting business going?

Uh, I think I could hit this out of the park,

Uh, I will definitely not tell them that.

Uh, let's go stretch or something.

Uh, Miss Emma, Lucy, Molly,

Uh, no, that is

Uh, no, your job is shocking people

Uh, okay, yeah, right now. Here we go.

Uh, right. So...

Uh, Sad Vince, Little Diane.

Uh, sorry, I just got to re‐frame‐‐ you know,

Uh, sorry, I just got, you know,

Uh, this is Samantha.

Uh, those are the... those are the exact same pillows.

Uh, uh, Sword of Sobriety.

Uh, we have a lot in common.

Uh, we weren't. Now we are.

Uh, what are you in the mood for? We have got...

Uh, when you go to another place, I'm around

Uh, yeah, I just wish he could see this.

Uh, yeah, no. You can get out of here,

Uh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, let's do it.

Uh, years, actually.

Uh, you know what, if it's okay with you,

Uh, you know what, it's actually Joel's business now.

Uh, you know, not much,

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... (clears throat) could I change that to...

Uh... (sighs)

Uh... I don't know if I want to remember.

Uh... no one.

Uh... two and a half years.

Uh... you know, I think I'm gonna ease my way into it.

Uh... you're right.

Um, all right, check it out, everybody,

Um, all right, well, go have fun.

Um, anyway, listen, some of us are going out later,

Um, are you are you Felicia, by any chance? Brit's friend?

Um, are you cool to watch him? I'm gonna go get a snack,

Um, can you go back to "no", 'cause...

Um, can you please

Um, do you think Bzzzzzzzzzz

Um, hey, buddy. You had to work on Thanksgiving?

Um, I actually need to steal him for a second.

Um, I haven't been to a bar in, like, a year. You know?

Um, I just also wanted to say,

Um, I... I don't know.

Um, I'm gonna do a toast.

Um, I'm Olivia. Yeah, come on in.

Um, I'm sorry that I used his diagnosis

Um, I'm sorry, you look gorgeous.

Um, my sponsee, Mindy‐‐ she manages Giovanni's Market.

Um, not in a creepy way.

Um, should we, uh...

Um, so...

Um, sorry, could I talk to you for a second?

Um, well, Zack's with his dad

Um, what size are you?

Um, you don't have to let us know now.

Um, you'll need to attend meetings every day for 90 days.

Um...

Um...

Um...

Um...

Um... a fire hazard.

Um... can you help me or not?

Um... I have...

Unfortunately, that's not how it works.

Unless you want to talk about it,

Until it wasn't.

Until you work on your aesthetic.

Until you're a year and a day sober.

Usually you don't get these kind of

Val, should I get married?

VAL: I am.

VAL: Oh, you guys,

VAL: There was this caterpillar,

VENDOR: There you go, buddy.

Very first thought. Um... basic.

Very good.

Very happy for you both.

Vinnie, Allegra, Molly, Brenda.

Visit our bakery department

W‐What was the name of the quiz we did the other day?

Wait, are you alone?

Wait, Dad.

Wait, I'm... I'm I'm confused.

Wait, wait, wait, my baby, let me help you carry that.

Wait, where's my kid?

Wait, you're this worked up over a job interview?

Wait. (laughs)

Waited for a car to come,

Waiting for me to come home.

Want me to slip, too?

Want to dance, Sam?

Want to dance? Is that okay to ask?

Want to grab a drink?

Want to hang out with me and Zack, you just needed a ride

Want to thank you for picking up the slack.

Wanted to say that...

Was Good Time Sally's.

Was in New York,

Was it years?

Was that the best meal you've ever had?

Way more fun at Christmas parties

Way to bury the lead.

We act on anything, we can endanger

We all did our things,

We are going down the Cape with, uh,

We are here at the spa.

We are so coming back to sing our asses off.

We can only hope aligns with the general consensus?

We could binge, but no‐‐

We could get little spooky.

We could just go to Good Time Sally's

We could just, like, DM or something

We don't really work like this.

We even took one of your quizzes the other day.

We get coffee and go shopping.

We get coffee, and we talk about alcoholism.

We gonna take this, put that in your hand,

We had four fittings,

We have a IPO coming up.

We have an IVF appointment. And, uh,

We haven't looked this cute in a while. I mean...

We just sit around and friggin' talk to each other

We met at Good Time Sally's.

We met once on the bar,

We paid for private school, we got you through NYU,

We were in this thing together and now it can't happen.

We were, uh, grocery shopping and... (laughs)

We will see you after, but then

We would really get along.

We'll see.

We're actually running a little behind

We're all far from perfect.

We're closing in ten minutes.

We're engaged.

We're gonna go on ahead and get the hors d'oeuvres going

We're gonna party like when Tom was still with the Patriots.

We're here to skate.

We're kings. And, uh, Jesus,

We're normal. It's fine.

We're not a blender type of establishment.

We're not winning Pulitzers here, man.

We're outside, we got fresh air, it's beautiful out.

We've been together forever and I'm obsessed with her still.

We've had that since, what, 1998?

We've tried on a lot of amazing dresses

Wednesdays, I have sex with my wife.

Welcome.

Well, 'cause... th they make it look really nice,

Well, a bar is an endurance test.

Well, don't wake up from a nightmare.

Well, he was 87.

Well, historically,

Well, historically, there's been a lot of meet‐cutes

Well, I don't know, let's see how the rest

Well, I got some work to do, okay?

Well, I mean, I'm not an expert,

Well, I mean, yeah. Like, what if I get it?

Well, I was gonna tell you if I got in.

Well, I was the good table at my high school cafeteria.

Well, I would like to go on the record

Well, I‐I hope it was helpful.

Well, I'm an alcoholic, so both.

Well, I'm glad I remembered you.

Well, I'm gonna go see if my name is at the singles table.

Well, I'm just looking for something

Well, I'm not your financial advisor.

Well, I'm up next to sing,

Well, I'm...

Well, it kind of feels like that. You know?

Well, it's a coffee shop, so...

Well, it's a kid's book, Joel.

Well, it's not like I don't owe you, okay?

Well, let me just draw a hard line.

Well, listen, not that I monitor women's bodies.

Well, lucky for you,

Well, maybe that's okay. You're not sad anymore.

Well, maybe you have to come over to my place

Well, maybe you ought to watch what you're drinking.

Well, not, like, a million studies

Well, some things.

Well, take your time.

Well, tell you what,

Well, thank you for the pep talk, Bob.

Well, thank you so much for squeezing me in.

Well, thanks for inviting me to whatever this was,

Well, that and the fact that we don't know

Well, that does sound delicious,

Well, that... that solves that.

Well, that's good to hear. I'm glad to hear it.

Well, that's kind of beautiful.

Well, the good news is you don't have to do that.

Well, the judge assigned to your case

Well, then I'll have a piña colada neat, then.

Well, they should warn you that earnestness

Well, this is feeling pretty good right now.

Well, uh... yeah.

Well, we could skip the relapse part and just do the sex thing.

Well, we'll see.

Well, yeah, 'cause it's a classic.

Well, you are welcome to join us, the meeting's open.

Well, you haven't written anything new?

Well, you know, I could get you a discount at Giovanni's.

Well, you know, I'm banned from all rideshares,

Well, you know, the dress doesn't fit.

Well, you weren't joking‐‐ this is a legitimate rager.

Well... there's a spot right here.

Went out with my friend last night

Were you able to discuss this with Samantha?

What about everything else?

What about my Series A funding round?

What am I doing?!

What am I even supposed to do with that, you know?

What am I supposed to do now?

What am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to do? I don't know what to do.

What are we doing here?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? That's Sam's probation officer.

What are you gonna do?

What are you writing?

What did you expect?

What do I do if I get the job?

What do you mean?

What do you mean? What does that mean?

What do you mean? You said she invited you.

What do you see now?

What does that mean?

What else could I possibly mean?

What fellowship at UCLA?

What if I carried it?

What if I don't? What if I get the seat on the bus

What if I get that fellowship at UCLA?

What if I hit three meetings a day for 30 days?

What if it was really bad?

What if she fails? What if it breaks her heart

What if she goes and interviews and gets it and she's gone?

What if we put Carol at table six,

What if we want to leave Malden after my residency?

What is happening?

What is it?

What is really going on?

What is the point of talking to you?

What kind of monster do you think I am?

What nerve. Hey, don't take him back.

What our next five years looks like. I mean, what if...

What the hell did she mean by that?

What the hell, Sam?

What the hell?

What‐what's coming up for you?

What, Joel, did you buy this? 'Cause, no, I don't see a house.

What, like... lettuce?

What?

What?

What?

What? Since when? (laughs)

What? There's a lot about the last 12 years I don't remember.

What? You too good for Sally's wings now or something?

What?! No, I'm not. I don't smoke.

What're you up to?

What's even worse is she doesn't yell,

What's going on at Bzzzzzzzzzz?

What's going on? Do you want a drink?

What's that?

What's the surprise?

What's up, how's it going?

What's up?

What's up?

What's with the mood? We throw you a surprise party,

Whatever those are.

Whatever you're building up in your head...

When he drank, but...

When I couldn't be, when my dad was sick,

When I found out about you guys.

When I got first chair violin and you got last.

When I got sober, the skills transferred over.

When I look in the mirror, so... that's something?

When I wasn't present.

When one door closes, it, um... also opens.

When their kids are pregnant or drinking or both.

When they are toddlers or like when they're 12,

When they call me crying:

When they're truly desperate?

When was the last time you read a book?

When you came to visit me in New York.

When you can't walk from your bed to the bathroom.

When you're having tons of sex.

When your dad died.

When's the last time you read a book?

Whenever they please? You people don't think

Where are the book sales?

Where are the Pulitzers? Come on.

Where I could sit and talk with smart people about books

Where is everybody?

Where we're, uh, standing.

Where would you like me to go?

Where you going?

Where, uh oh, where the unicycle thing is?

Where?

Where's my mom, Bob?

Where's your tutu?

Which I was. But I didn't like that either, so...

Which is my problem, you know? I was the one that felt like

Which is so not Joel.

Which is the Bob of Black people. (short chuckle)

Which led me to Carol, your mom,

Which led the new me to book club,

Which makes sense, because I am...

While you finish the stuff?

Who doesn't love Roller Land, right?

Who might wind up in jail because she can't pay.

Who's a plus one in our pregnancy.

Who's girlfriend lives in a better dorm.

Who's great with w...

Who's this bozo?

Who's this?

Who's‐who's that‐‐ your rehab boyfriend?

Whoa! You have a wicked nice house.

Whoa.

Whoa. Sorry, can you break a hundo?

Whoa. Yeah, there's vodka in that.

Whole milk cappuccino, extra foam.

Why can't we just

Why did you let me go jogging

Why did you say no?

Why do you care who I date?!

Why do you even have to work out to stay in shape?

Why do you keep bringing that up?

Why don't we say

Why don't we schedule it?

Why not?

Why would I do that?

Why would I do that?

Why would I help you?

Why would you give my adult daughter money?

Why would you want to go back to Bzzzzzzzzzz?

Why? I still have five minutes.

Why? Why do you care if I forgive you?

Why? You seem so great.

Wild.

Will start showing up for you.

With all due respect, uh...

With all of our relatives around?

With all the good of the cult but without, like,

With all the, like, beautiful whipped cream design‐‐

With my harem of sponsees.

With no condiments, just like you like it, you weirdo.

With the gal who's marrying my ex‐boyfriend?

With the grocery store and...

With the two of you, all right? Please don't

With those big bumper things and yelling "Clear!"

With your presence. Now, typically,

With your probation officer.

Within the year. It's your choice.

Without a car.

Without a gin and tonic coursing through its system,

Without everything feeling so heavy.

WOMAN: Amen. (short chuckle)

WOMAN: Don't play the family card.

WOMAN: Um, more important:

Work in a grocery store and go to Brit's stupid wedding

Would let me back in the building?

Would you like to talk to her, Sam?

Wow, Bob's really changing you.

Wow, James. You played this one close to the vest.

Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.

Wow, that's rare. Never see that.

Wow, what did Carol ever do to you?

Wow! How surprising.

Wow.

Wow. (chuckles) Okay. I didn't, uh...

Wow. Confident.

Wow. Okay, jogging works.

Wow. Okay. Got it.

Wow. Okay. I mean, yeah. Yeah?

Wow. Sounds like a rager.

Wow. That was fast.

Wow. That's actually a spot‐on impression of me at work.

Wow. You actually learned something in Catholic school?

Wrong. Just unzip it. Unzip it,

Xander is 4.8 stars and he's on his way.

Y... 'Cause we're kings.

Yay, me. (short chuckle)

Yay, you.

Yay!

Yeah, 'cause I just finished a year's probation,

Yeah, all right.

Yeah, and you know, and he he lost custody of his kids.

Yeah, Brit told me you were back in town.

Yeah, but I mean, we...

Yeah, but she's just volunteering.

Yeah, but then I heard about this lot

Yeah, but this‐this isn't an apology.

Yeah, but you've got a great job, you don't drink that much.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, for sure. (chuckles) For sure.

Yeah, he's a sweet, lovely human

Yeah, he's read everything I've already written.

Yeah, I am not equipped to deal with this.

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, I assumed you were a big coffee head

Yeah, I can't.

Yeah, I didn't. That's my bad. I got "vane."

Yeah, I don't blame you.

Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, I don't think those really apply to me.

Yeah, I just, like, I can't be at this wedding.

Yeah, I know. You're, uh, my daughter's sponsor.

Yeah, I mean, it's the most in love I've ever been in my life.

Yeah, I think it's safe to say I don't have a business card.

Yeah, I was skydiving,

Yeah, I'll see you then.

Yeah, I'll... figure it out.

Yeah, I'm a toast guy now. Uh, to us.

Yeah, I'm covered in, like, 50 kinds of urine

Yeah, I'm like a good steak, right?

Yeah, I'm not sure it's an appropriate conversation

Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't even know why I tried that...

Yeah, it might not have been a good idea to put you

Yeah, it was a pretty fun piece. I thought it turned out good.

Yeah, it's a bar.

Yeah, it's actually her birthday.

Yeah, it's it's good.

Yeah, it's, uh,

Yeah, let's‐let's go relapse together, great.

Yeah, look, Sam, I just... I want to say I'm sorry, okay?

Yeah, more expensive than places without houses. Um...

Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, no, I Sam does not need to know I'm here.

Yeah, no, I know, it's just, um...

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, okay, okay, hi, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, or we have them sooner.

Yeah, pretty much anybody.

Yeah, security, this is Bzzzzzzzzzz.

Yeah, she did the egg retrieval.

Yeah, she's very cool.

Yeah, sorry about that. But, like, you know,

Yeah, sorry. That's not my MO today.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, take those chicken legs back where they belong,

Yeah, that was just mandatory so my office wouldn't sue.

Yeah, that's the wild part about this whole thing,

Yeah, then forget about it.

Yeah, we really do.

Yeah, well, I don't have a lot of free time right now, either,

Yeah, well, it turns out, I can't.

Yeah, well, the bangs.

Yeah, well, they are violently irregular.

Yeah, why not?

Yeah, yeah, same. Obviously.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she's she's awesome.

Yeah, yeah. I have a stretch for that.

Yeah, yeah. You can tell them that I'm fully accountable now.

Yeah, you can't breathe because your side boobs

Yeah, you do, uh, you do seem less insane.

Yeah, you know, I'm actually, I'm‐I'm supposed to get

Yeah, you know, Thanksgiving used to be fun at my house,

Yeah, you're also shopping in this town. You get that, right?

Yeah, you're probably right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. (grunting)

Yeah. Ah. We get so bogged down with planning,

Yeah. Bye.

Yeah. Get up here. Come on, let's do it.

Yeah. I just can't abstain because my wife invited, like,

Yeah. I just meant, like,

Yeah. I... What?

Yeah. I'm s so sorry.

Yeah. I've never sat in it. So, is it comfortable?

Yeah. It's, like, a famous thing.

Yeah. Let's hit it.

Yeah. No, I know, and I'm sorry,

Yeah. No, I mean, it's fine.

Yeah. No, I'm fine.

Yeah. No, we were just, we were just...

Yeah. Oh, h... hey, girl.

Yeah. Showing a bit of interest with investors

Yeah. So, like, the last three miles of the marathon...

Yeah. Sober doesn't mean free, all right?

Yeah. Sure, dude, I'll drink anything.

Yeah. That's probably my next move.

Yeah. There are so many guards. Like, look at her.

Yeah. Today's gonna be tough.

Yeah. Um,

Yeah. Well, happy goddamn Thanksgiving,

Yeah. Well, try serving someone deli meat

Yeah. What are you doing in Boston? How have you been?

Yeah. Yeah, it was.

Yeah. Yeah, you can do whatever you want, Mom.

Yeah... Don't ask me that.

Years from now.

Yep. Happy St. Patrick's Day.

Yes he is. (chuckles)

Yes, bad bitch, bad bitch. Which bad bitch? Joan Jett.

Yes, but I did a 30‐day rehab program.

Yes, I was upset when I first found out about you and Joel.

Yes, like a job. Listen, your voice is really funny.

Yes, Mother. It's all about you.

Yes, my ******* Jaguar.

Yes, Nathaniel. He seemed really interested, actually.

Yes, obviously, just

Yes, of course I have a drug dealer, dummy.

Yes, of course. Of course you can.

Yes, please, thank you. I'll take anything.

Yes, technically, when she was under the influence

Yes, that's why I came here.

Yes, we can.

Yes, you can. Do you see guards or anything?

Yes! I'm having this conversation

Yes! You did it.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. (laughs)

Yes. Got it.

Yes. I am beat. Um...

Yes. The Jolly Fifes.

Yes. Who are you?

Yes. Yeah. You know, it's New York.

Yes. Yes, my ******* jaguar.

Yesiree.

Yikes, that had to hurt.

Yikes. You don't remember.

Yo. Thanks for coming out, man.

You all are gonna shit yourselves.

You already know that. Okay,

You always have a room.

You always take him when you're mad at me.

You and Joel bonded over the shared trauma

You are 28.

You are a newcomer, okay? This like, me and you

You are a writer... writer.

You are good to go for up to 72 hours.

You are just like Samantha.

You are so close to 30 days.

You are the sexiest mom I've ever laid eyes on.

You bet. I'm gonna have, like, three green beers

You can be late and be reliable.

You can borrow...

You can burn off some of that excess energy.

You can chill here if you want. You don't have to leave.

You can have some cake.

You can wear whatever the hell you want to your wedding.

You can... you can look it up, but that's all.

You can't drive without getting drunk

You can't even slice meat.

You can't have a job like that if you're a drunk.

You can't ignore.

You can't... You... We we can't walk up?

You carried the baby?

You charge for these, or...

You check in with me never. You're done.

You could be a really good fit here,

You could intern at The Boston Globe.

You definitely knew I was an alcoholic before I did.

You did it!

You did lie. You lied. You want me out.

You do have a sober person monitoring you, right?

You do not want to deal with the politics.

You don't actually share that much DNA with your ancestors.

You don't deserve it.

You don't deserve that. You deserve fun,

You don't have a job. Like, nothing's official.

You don't have a salary.

You don't have to be a dick about it.

You don't have to pretend like you never heard of me.

You don't have to thrive it, you just have to survive it.

You don't have to worry about any of this stuff

You don't know what you're capable of now.

You don't really strike me as much of a gamer. I'm sorry.

You don't want to do that because you don't know

You drink all the time.

You even completed your community service.

You go up to the front and buy this and I'll just

You got a job.

You got moved to digital at Bzzzzzzzzzz

You got to know your situation

You got to respect the commitment,

You got to tighten up your shit, man.

You got your license back.

You gotta vibe with to get the job.

You gotta, you know, take the money out, show them,

You guys are the best trudging buddies a girl could ask for.

You guys gossip a lot for a place

You guys love each other, right?

You have a, a Peabody Award.

You have no idea.

You have some stuff that you might not want to remember.

You have some, I get some.

You have some, I get some. Don't be a blame hog.

You have the shittiest timing of anyone I've ever met.

You have to wait a second so no one notices.

You have your normal background.

You haven't looked this cute in a while.

You horrible girl from the bridal shop. I need you.

You just get me when you're ready to check out.

You just have to get used to being in your body.

You just keep that on standby just in case, huh?

You just said "party reporter,"

You kept calling me Norah Jones.

You kicking said bucket.

You know I'd put you up, but I got my kid and the salon,

You know Joel and I have been together for a long time,

You know that.

You know what I mean?

You know what,

You know what, actually, I think I'm gonna go to Felicia's

You know what, get out of my store.

You know what, thanks, I‐I, uh...

You know what, we could, like, not exchange info and then

You know what?

You know what? People told me this

You know what? Um... never mind. Thank you.

You know,

You know, after we ran into you at the grocery store

You know, been videotaping everything you do,

You know, Gen Z and...

You know, How do how does he know it's us?

You know, I also, um...

You know, I don't want to ruin your weekend. It's all good.

You know, I feel like I'm gonna barf, like, at any moment.

You know, I I had so much fun tonight,

You know, I just have to send him some writing material,

You know, I, um, I heard the other day

You know, I'll get a real job, start paying rent somewhere.

You know, I'm sure Dad

You know, if you ever need,

You know, it really made me examine

You know, it wasn't a big deal.

You know, it's like a combo.

You know, it's like it's like...

You know, just look at this.

You know, like in the room, in the lab.

You know, like, genetically.

You know, like, I'm one of them.

You know, like... (mimics beeping)

You know, open your mind.

You know, she's... (sighs)

You know, since you blocked me on all social media.

You know, stay well and take care of you.

You know, that being said, I think I will have to bail

You know, that's actually, um...

You know, the closets are, like, for fancy s... fancy things.

You know, the lab was open today.

You know, there's no rule that says, like, you have to

You know, this is exactly like

You know, Tonka trucks are only ten percent of my job.

You know, uh...

You know, we're looking for a voice, a female voice,

You know, what will happen? Thank you.

You know, what, I can't I can't breathe.

You know, you go out, you get it,

You know, you knew me better than anybody.

You know? 'Cause, like, is it a friend thing?

You know? Get my 10,000 hours in.

You know? I I remember that that party

You know? I mean, I'm loving this...

You know? Let's go have fun.

You know? So...

You know? Which I will get on very, very soon.

You know. Ruined my relationship with my mom,

You know. The guy's a smoke show.

You know...

You let me touch them.

You let me whine about a bench and you sold the thing?

You little bitch!

You look like an outline on a green screen, but, like,

You look so hot right now.

You looked like a tiny little Michelle Obama.

You loved Motown, um...

You made it!

You made me drive all the way to Roller Land so you could

You make it hard.

You make your bed every day.

You might have different ideas.

You must be getting so excited.

You must be Samantha.

You need something.

You need to try screwing up.

You need, like, a permit,

You needed a fried chicken sandwich?

You nervous?

You never had to before,

You okay?

You okay?

You only tell me what not to do, so I'm just trying

You people love acronyms.

You pull Tonka trucks out of peoples' buttholes.

You ready to do that?

You ready to do the discount?

You ready, Goody Two Shoes?

You run a fine establishment here, sir.

You said You said it was time sensitive?

You said it was soul killing.

You saw Spotlight five times?

You see your future, wedded,

You seem tense.

You should be proud of yourself.

You should be proud.

You should come with me tomorrow, you can be Thelma.

You should go.

You should go.

You should join us.

You should talk to them.

You should talk to your daughter.

You shouldn't write that. That's a bad book.

You stay here and don't a move a muscle.

You still into guys and girls?

You sure you don't want me to stick around

You take as much time as you need.

You taught me how to play piano.

You think I would be doing this

You think late‐afternoon coffee date,

You told me not to play the cello 'cause I was bad at it.

You told me that. I'm sorry. I can get you something else.

You wait anxiously for the other friend to show up to a party?

You want me out, I want to be out.

You want me to pay you $5,000?

You want to blame the dress 'cause you're scared.

You want to close out your check while you're at it?

You want to come in for a cup of tea?

You want to know which uncle's the tushy grabber?

You want to... schedule a time to talk?

You want to... you want to binge watch something?

You were in jail, they were never going to let you out,

You were my best friend.

You were our best friend.

You were two hours over.

You will need to complete 250 hours of community service,

You would have to do so many tests,

You wouldn't come.

You, sir you got

You, uh,

You... Actually, she asked me to wait here,

You... you keep your voice down.

You... you remember Sam in high school.

You'd think she'd be able to let that go

You'll be fine. It's gonna be crappy for a while, probably,

You'll be really good for this,

You'll probably have to do your real job

You're a holding a bottle of vodka right in front of me.

You're a listener? (chuckles)

You're a newborn.

You're a star, always been a star.

You're a year sober. We get to talk about

You're basically in the birth canal.

You're Brit Monclair, you know? You got a full ride to Harvard,

You're doing well.

You're drunk.

You're early.

You're fine. I've done so much worse.

You're firing me?

You're giving me your keys?

You're going straight to jail.

You're gonna need more than a letter.

You're gonna start paying me rent

You're here 'cause someone got you the best deal

You're just as much of a townie as I am.

You're just emerging from sobriety survival mode.

You're kidding me. I ordered another IPA?

You're new.

You're not a holiday person.

You're not actually really covering your zits.

You're not fat. That's crazy.

You're not that person, my God. I...

You're not wearing green. Also, I need you

You're not what I expected.

You're right, it was inappropriate

You're right.

You're s‐you're still early. You'll get to amends.

You're Samantha Fink.

You're serious?

You're so kind.

You're so pretty.

You're so pretty.

You're stepping in for someone who isn't here.

You're still here.

You're such a star student.

You're the Russian‐******* tank.

You're too new. You know?

You're up.

You're vibrating.

You're walking in your truth.

You're welcome.

You're wrong.

You're, like, the most responsible person I know.

You're... I mean, you're good at self work,

You've already been arrested for drunk driving

You've always been a really good friend

You've done her harm and synthesize it

You've known your whole life. It's actually way worse.

You've settled in for the long haul,

Your ahi tuna cones are bad.

Your friends, your ex‐‐

Your job as a mother is to have this conversation.

Your life is heading in a good direction.

Your privates sacrificed themselves to the tide?

Your situation with the group,

Your sobriety. You only have six months.

Yup. There's a wedding

Zack's shoes?

52. Weeks, yeah.

72 hours straight.

1450 Real Talk radio.

"Thanks for the boundaries?" Yeah,

("Pony" by Ginuwine begins playing) Oh!

(booing) Yeah, go home, Yankee!

(cheering) You did it.

(chuckles nervously) Right?

(chuckles) Vroom, vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom.

(clears throat) Oh.

(computer beeping) Whoa, it's... No?

(crowd booing) NATHANIEL: Go Yankees!

(door opens) So you might want to look into that.

(exhales) So,

(Felicia and Val chuckle) Let me just ask you

(gasps) Like...

(gasps) It's our turn. Yep. It's our turn, it's our turn.

(knocking on door) (scoffs)

(knocking) (grunts)

(laughing): Thank you. I know, it's so bad. It is.

(laughs) and why Carol wasn't there.

(laughs) That's right.

(laughs) I love you so much. And I love you.

(phone buzzes) Hold on, sorry. One sec.

(purring) You're so sweet.

(speaking Haitian Creole) Really feels

♪ ♪ (indistinct chatter)

♪ ♪ (indistinct conversations)

♪ I'd take a hit for ♪ (grunting)

a giant fourth grader. Best year of my life.

a spoilsport. jump off a bridge?

All right, all right, okay. Right.

All right? All right.

All right? Okay.

All right? Yeah.

All right. Sorry about that.

All right. Okay. This way. (soft chuckling)

ALL: Amen. LUCAS: Can I talk to you for a second?

ALL: How did you do it? (Samantha laughs)

ALL: Mm... Yeah, that's nice.

Also, this needs mustard. Oh, yes, condiments, flying in.

Always a very good idea with my mother. Yeah.

and go Yankees! No, Yankees suck!

and something definitely happened in it. Yeah.

And to you, good sir. Mm hmm.

And you look... Wrong. Wrong.

And... (giggles)

And... And you were my best friend.

ANNALISA: I agree. GEORGE: James.

Are you depressed? (laughs) No.

Are you gonna come or not? We can eat bagels. No, I just don't think that...

Are you kidding me? That's amazing. Yeah.

Are you sure you're gonna be able to find it on your own? Yeah.

Are you sure? I I'm not...

Ask anybody. (laughs)

Babe a rooney? Are you with me? Yes. Sorry.

Baby, what is going on? I don't know.

Back at the bench. Yeah, I see that.

be very rich. Oh.

Because of the rare... Yeah.

Birkenstocks. Oh.

BOB: Oh, no. No, she's being dramatic.

BOTH: ♪ I smush your tush ♪ And he hissed at me.

Boys! Boys. ANNALISA: George.

Break in there? Uh uh. I'm getting tired.

BRIT: Hi. Oh, hi.

brush. Mm hmm.

but first, I need you to walk around, all right? (regular accent): All right.

But I don't, I don't know what. Okay.

But I really want to see you. You can't.

but I think you'll bounce back. I mean, you're... Sam.

but these dead ends hurt me. No, I know, just go for it. Please.

But we can't stay here. Oh. Wait.

But, like, a fourth grader who's good at math. OLIVIA: Good. Hey, what's up?

Bye, Dad. Throw it in.

Bye, nice to meet you. Is she okay?

Can I get one of these things, or what? Oh, yep, Sam. Here you go.

Can I go to the bathroom? No, no.

Captain Cody. Mm hmm.

Cash. Old school. Sweet. Yeah.

Come on back! Yeah.

Come on up. Right. Is there a...?

Come on. Hey, let's eat. ANNALISA: Oh, I love it.

Come on. Don't leave like this. No.

Come... Where?

Congratulations. (claps)

Cool. All right.

Cool. And Topher would do, like,

Cool. Yeah.

Cool. Yeah.

Cool. Okay. Great.

Dead leaves. Okay, keep going.

Did it get in your mouth? Yeah.

Do you enjoy probation, Samantha? No.

Do you see a house? (chuckles)

Does that include drinks? Yes, lots

Does this ooze, too? What's going on? No.

Drugs?! Shh! Shh, shh, shh.

Dude, I just need a receipt. (mockingly): Dude.

Dude. Hey, stop! Wait...

Eat me. And keep your change. Whoa. No.

Excuse me? Uh, keep the change.

FELICIA: Well, well, Okay.

for the kids. We don't have kids.

GEORGE: Hey, I see that frown. ANNALISA: Yeah.

GEORGE: Hey. Boys. George?

Glad you guys like everything. Hey.

God, get out. SAMANTHA: You know what?

going home, because I am a monster. Mm. No.

Good champagne. What really is the holdup?

Good luck! Thanks!

Good to know. Yes.

Goodbye, Dad. Goodbye.

Goodbye, darling. Oh.

Great. All right? I want you to send me some writing.

Gross! Really? Mm hmm.

Hallelujah. this year with that

Hang on. Are you, you kidding me, man?

have one drink? Come on. No.

He can't even sit up straight. (grunting)

He is reliable. (clears throat)

He was the last party reporter. Oh, cool.

He's just a little tired, you know? Yeah.

Hello? NATHANIEL: Sammy Fink,

Hence the name "drive through." Never doing it.

Here. No. People are gonna think we're together.

Hey, Bob? BOB: Yes'm?

Hey, hey. Oh, my God, where were you?

Hey, James? Trip Nemshin. How's it going, man?

Hey, James. Hello! What's up?

Hey, what's up? Hi.

Hey. Joel.

Hey. Mm.

Hey. Uh... come on in.

Hey. Welcome.

Hi there. Hello. Thank you.

Hi, good to see you. LUCAS: Here's my question. Like,

Hi! SAMANTHA: Hey.

Hi. Hi. Thank you for coming.

Hi. Hope you're enjoying the hors d'oeuvres.

Hi. Hi. (laughs) Hey.

Hi. You made it. Yeah.

Hot dog guy! Yeah.

Hot dog no relish lady. Yeah, that's me.

How did you get so sweet? Joshy Josh.

How do you know that? (scoffs) Small town.

Huh? You have to go.

I bought it. You bought it?

I changed my mind. Okay,

I did all the stuff, okay? Yeah. Yeah.

I do get a little bit concerned that you're not... I know.

I don't know. Where's Malden? Did I say something?

I don't like this on you. It happens.

I don't mind. Have you seen yourself in this suit?

I don't need your blood money, bro! You keep it.

I feel it. No.

I feel so seen. (chuckles)

I followed the rules, right? Mm hmm, mm hmm.

I forgot my bag. As God is my witness,

I get it. We'll trudge. Yeah, let's do it.

I got this. No, no, no, come on, man.

I guess I'll... Yeah.

I have to take the blame. This is my moment. Okay.

I heard it. How much do we owe you?

I It's not like that. That was insane.

I just need my receipt, please. Okay. Uh huh.

I just want to be in shape so bad. Yeah. Right. Totally agree.

I know. (Carol cries)

I like that I got it, I don't know if I like doing it yet. Ugh.

I looked like a troll. I know.

I love that idea. Mm hmm.

I mean, I'm not worried. Okay, great.

I mean, like, are we ever gonna do this? Yes.

I miss it so much. God, what do people do on walks?

I miss the bar. Ugh! Me too!

I need you to leave right now. What?

I see. Mm hmm.

I still might be a creep. Are you?

I think that's why I chose him. Yeah.

I think we might actually have something for you. Like a job?

I want you to talk to me. James, baby, sit back down.

I was looking for Brit, actually, so... Oh, perfect.

I would be such a good cult leader. Mm.

I'd love to turn on the radio. Boop, boop.

I'll be I'll be right back. James, James, don't...

I'll catch you later for a virgin brain freeze, right? Yeah.

I'll have a piña colada. Yeah,

I'll let her know. Okay.

I'm a piece of shit. Oh, my God. Listen,

I'm gonna... Oh. Okay. (chuckles)

I'm having a good time, too. Nice.

I'm having, like, a lot of half memories. Okay.

I'm I'm very sorry about that. Are you, though?

I'm kidding. Oh, that's not super funny.

I'm not mean all the time. (chuckling) Right.

I'm proud of Lucas, too. I mean, we both are. Sure.

I'm sorry. I'm gonna... Oh, my God.

I'm tired. Yeah, I know.

I'm trying to give you something here. No, I know. It's sweet.

I've been doing a lot of self work. Oh, of course you have.

I've been trying to... Honey, I want to hear what you have to say,

in boat shoes or killed a guy? Right.

Incoming. Thank you.

intervening. Wait, what?

is a serious side effect. Yeah. They should.

Is it always this much? He was very tall.

Is that okay to say that? Thank you. Yeah.

is what I... is what I mean, so... Yes, yes, yes.

it can't happen now. Listen,

It was brutal. Okay.

It was pretty bad. Oof.

It's just a matter of time. Oh.

It's just the drugs. WOMAN (in distance): Kids, let's go!

It's longer than most dates I've had. Okay.

It's medically advisable. And then also, Joshy was in here,

It's my passion. FELICIA: She's great.

It's okay, it's okay. (scoffs)

It's painful. There are hundreds of people

It's... Wow, uh, I'm so sorry.

JAMES: (whispering): What are you doing? I got it, it's okay.

JAMES: Peanut butter sandwich things. LUCAS: Oh, I do love those.

JAMES: You smoke so much. Look at him!

James. Oh. Okay.

James. Uh, y... yeah.

Jesus. My boy, Jesus.

Kick ass view. Mm hmm.

let's go have fun. I can't, I can't, I...

Like what? You know, you're helping me.

like, any day now? Yes.

like, extra credit? No.

like, we talked about it. Yeah.

Listen, help me out, please. I mean, Please.

Listen. What?

Lovely. (chuckles)

me and you are gonna talk when you sober up. Oh, my...

Mm hmm. So, look, uh...

Mm hmm. Tiny, little, cute, spin her around,

Mm hmm. Yeah.

Mm, mm, mm. Mm!

Mm. ANNALISA: Yes...

Mm. Can you talk to her?

Mm. Doesn't everybody do that?

Mm. Here you go.

Mm. I remember my first sober trip,

Mm. Which is super important, okay?

Mm. Yeah, I thought that door was closed,

Mmm. Oh,

Mom. No, I won't judge.

my personal guru. (chuckles)

My place? Your place? Um...

Nah. Whew.

Nathaniel. Just keep walking.

No way. Uh huh. Seriously,

No, he wasn't. He was.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, all right.

No, no. Not that. Why don't I...

No, no. You're being Why don't we do something like

No, please. Don't be. Yeah.

no, stop. Oh, stop. Ooh. But...

No, trim. No?

No! Oh, my God, that's so mean. Yeah, it bit me.

No. It can.

No. Oh. Aw. Mm hmm.

No... (sighs) We were just vaping. I have

Nope. That didn't work. No.

Now, that I can get behind. I hate work. Mm.

Of course, honey, you're... Dad, I I'm begging you to stop.

Of course. You're so close. Yeah,

of some pretty gnarly stuff, so... Right.

Oh, God. Why don't I get Joel?

Oh, he was great. He was good.

Oh, it does. No.

Oh, my God, it's a feast. Mmm.

Oh, no, you got it. Okay.

Oh, ooh! I am so happy to be naked right now.

Oh, that's just ice, but... Sounds good.

Oh, yeah, no, no, let's get out of here. Thank you.

Oh, you saw that? Yeah.

Oh, you're a doctor. Yeah. Surgeon.

Oh! Oh... Go. Go.

Oh. And guess what it did?

Oh. It's a time sensitive issue.

Oh. So...

Oh. Yeah.

Oh. Is there, Good for you.

Okay, go, go. Yes, absolutely.

Okay, I gotta ask. Mm hmm.

Okay, that's not my favorite. Okay. But...

Okay, well, all right... Oh, no,

Okay, you just made it weird. Yeah, stop being so weird, Bob.

Okay. (groaning)

Okay. Also, I just, I just need to send

Okay. Can I come in?

Okay. Everyone, stand. Thank you.

Okay. It's for our baby. Okay.

Okay. Kind of in a rush here.

Okay. Mm hmm.

Okay. Oh. Sorry.

Okay. Trees.

Okay. Uh...

Okay. Yeah?

Okay. Let's do it. Wait, wait, wait,

OLIVIA: He's freaking out. He loves me!

once nothing is worth a paragraph. Nothing. No, I know, it's just...

One drink. Yes!

Ooh! If you could make money

Ooh. (chuckles)

Or, like, a roller skate or something like... Okay, hang on a second.

party stuff at bars. He would.

please let me know. (chuckles) Okay.

please. Yes?

Pretty stupid. Pretty obvious.

Published, unpublished, doesn't matter. Okay.

Really smart business model. Yeah.

Right, Josh? Josh was like "yuck."

right? I hooked up with Joel

Right? WOMAN: I can't serve you

Right? You caught me.

Right. I'm in the grading zone, so

Right. Right.

Right. There were concerns.

Right. Sorry. Go ahead. Okay.

Samantha Fink, come on up. (cheering)

SAMANTHA: Different channel. They just... Okay.

SAMANTHA: What? Are you joking with me right now?

Samantha! Look who we found. He... (indistinct chatter)

Say something. Okay.

See you tomorrow. Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow, Ron!

See you. Yeah, bye.

She ghosted me, or else I would. Yeah.

She is gonna be so pissed at me. Yeah, she is.

she left her bag. But hear me out, okay?

She'll be here in a sec. Hold on, dude, I'm dealing with this stupid townie.

She's here. She's here. Oh, my God.

She's looking for hallucinogens. Oh.

She's super hot. No, she's not.

Shh, shh. Oh... Okay... RONNIE: Hey!

shit. You know what? Amen.

should we say what we're thankful for? Uh,

Sit down, James. You're not going anywhere.

So could we get coffee? Uh, yeah.

So you're having a good time? Uh, yeah, yeah, I think so.

So, yes, we need to go. Oh.

some merchandise from you. Hi.

Sounds fun. Well, what do you do?

Spooky. (chair creaks)

suck it, suck it, suck it, suck... Oh, my God!

Sure. Don't know what that means. Doesn't matter,

Sweet office, right? Yeah.

Sweet. I'll send you the details. Okay.

take her for a ride Chloe? All right, she's fine. She's okay.

Takes a lot of the pressure off. Yeah. Good, I'm glad.

Talk fast. (short chuckle)

Thank you so much for this. Mm.

Thank you. I know. I know

that I made such a scene at his shiva, and I... No.

That smell. It's not a good smell.

That was fun. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was my first time doing that, so...

that was the safe for work version. Mm.

That's efficient. Mm.

That's embarrassing for you. JAMES: Oh, yeah.

That's so mean. It sucked the venom out of me.

that's supposed to happen. (sighs)

That's, that's a bad one. Yeah.

the groom. Yes, congratulations.

the other bit of a surprise. Oh, wow.

the toothbrush. And the gum. Mm.

There you go. Thanks.

they're really jammed in there. Okay,

this is better than a bar. Right? Right?

to me. I haven't been a good friend.

Trim. A trim?

turn on the radio, sweetheart. Oh, you've got it, honey bear.

Ugh, gross. I was joking. Oh.

Uh huh. But I...

Uh, it's in. Oh, God. Bye, dear.

Uh, James. ...James

Uh, Malden. Okay, cool, I think I've heard of that.

Uh, maybe. Take my word for it. I've got, like,

Uh, who's "us"? You know,

Uh... Well, thank you for this tour of how you've thrown up

Uh... Yeah.

Uh... You must be good with your hands.

Um, do you wanna...? No, you can... I'm just...

unzip it, please, unzip it, unzip it. Okay, okay.

Up there? Yeah.

Val. (chuckles): Hey.

Val. Yeah.

Wait, wait. Okay.

Wait, wait. It's Sam. Oh. Okay.

Was I your bottom? Yeah, everyone always wants to know that,

was the worst. No, no, no.

We all were. I'm sorry.

We can go back to this. It's literally not your job.

We can't happen. Yes it can.

We don't. Yeah, you do.

We miss you. We miss you. Okay.

We should go. All right.

we would make bank. (laughs)

we'll be fine. A newcomer? Yeah,

We'll figure it out. I don't want you... It's fine.

We're gonna get bad seats. We are.

Well, I'm gonna go find a crappy bathroom to change in. Cool. Sounds good.

Well, you look amazing. No, I don't.

Well. James.

What are you looking at? Eighth grade.

What cash? The hundred you slipped in my bag.

What is wrong with you? You don't want to try it?

what we're thankful for? LUCAS: Okay.

What? It bit me.

What? You guys look exactly the same.

What?! BOB: Love you.

What'd I win? (chuckles)

What's that? This is great for me.

What's up, Barry? Olivia.

What's up? Is everything okay? Yeah.

when they move the bus. When they move the bus

where he was drunk driving. I'll...

which is completely unfair. Okay, no.

Why? Is Sam okay? Yeah.

will carry on that tradition. (Annalisa laughs)

WOMAN: You didn't... NATHANIEL: Sam!

Wood. Okay, I didn't mean it like that, but if we're honest...

Wow, you look so great... Okay, cut the crap.

Wow. Congratulations. Ah.

Wow. Thank you. Yeah, I mean, we would never publish it here,

Wow. When did this become about me? Oh, Sam,

Y Yes, I did. I did. Wow.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. You're sure? Okay, good.

Yeah, it's okay. that...

Yeah, it's totally fine. No, no, no, not there.

Yeah, okay. Yeah.

Yeah, well, sing it, sister. Yeah.

Yeah, well... I only think you think that

Yeah, yeah. I'm 100% in and I think

Yeah? I just feel like something...

Yeah. And now you're just like Smooth Sailing Sam.

Yeah. And so he always goes to bars, and he was...

Yeah. Oh, good.

Yeah. Oh, my God!

Yeah. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So...

Yeah. Uh, this is Bob.

Yeah. You know, my brother's in the program and he still rages.

Yeah. Are we in Before Sunrise? Yeah.

Yeah. I'll give you plenty of warning. Thank you.

Yeah. Let's see what you got. Okay. All right.

Yeah. Thank you. So, Joel, what...

Yeah. Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, uh, this is exciting, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. For real, Like in The Notebook.

Yeah. You know how it is. Do I?

Yes, absolutely. Um, okay, (laughs)

Yes! You did it! (whoops)

Yes. Each and every one of us.

Yes. Yeah.

You can help me. Okay.

You can tell us. She's just a perfectionist,

You changed your mind. I did.

You did. Damn it. I...

You got it. Thank you. Yeah.

You have a good one. Thanks, man.

You have, you have. So many times, Mm hmm.

you know, this feast of kings.

you know, we can do j... (knocking) Hey.

you know, your shit is... (gasps)

You maimed me. Right.

You mean like praying? No, not like a prayer.

You might get that job. I don't know if I want that job.

You should look into the chosen family thing. Oh, yeah.

You want to start a tab? Uh, yeah.

You You had... weed. Oh, so you thought

You're drunk. You're drunk.

You're not going anywhere near the singles table. Hi, guys.

You're not like that. (sighs) Well... no, I know

You're Sam's mom. Yes.

Yuck town. (Josh meows)

‐ Give me a twirl. ‐ Oh, God.

‐'cause they let a girl in, right? ‐Yeah.

‐(car door closes) ‐Hey, sorry you had to come get me.

‐(chuckles) ‐DANIELLE: God, I could wear this.

‐(clears throat) ‐Yeah.

‐(door closes) ‐(sighs)

‐(doorbell rings) ‐Oh!

‐(engine revs) ‐(tires squeal)

‐(engine starts) ‐Enough!

‐(exhales) ‐BOB: C‐Can you share with us

‐(high‐pitched): Oil can. ‐(door closes)

‐(indistinct chatter) ‐Sammy!

‐(laughing) ‐Oh. Okay, I'm sorry, I have overstayed my welcome.

‐(laughing) ‐Well, I read this so fast.

‐(laughing) You remember that? ‐Why are people like this?

‐(laughs) I knew it. ‐(chuckles)

‐(laughs) I saw‐I saw... ‐Oh, my God, Samantha.

‐(man whoops) ‐You heard it here first.

‐(phone vibrates) ‐Ah. Oh, hang on.

‐(scoffs) I'm done. Honestly, Sam. ‐Felicia.

‐(screaming) ‐(all clamoring)

‐(short chuckle) ‐I have. I make my bed, I floss,

‐(short chuckle) ‐I'll have yours.

‐(shouts) ‐That's them.

‐(sighs) ‐♪ How that bitch so full? ♪

‐(sighs) Thank you. ‐(shutter clicks)

‐(whoops) ‐I love you, Sammy. Um...

‐(whoops) ‐We're in.

‐♪ ‐(indistinct chatter)

‐♪ ♪ ‐(indistinct chatter)

‐♪ ♪ ‐Oh, great. More people.

‐♪ All of my life ♪ ‐(vibrating)

‐♪ All the fellas come around ♪ ‐Point taken.

‐♪ Beep‐beep ♪ ‐(horn honks)

‐♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ ‐(indistinct chatter)

‐♪ It's true men like you make me sick ♪ ‐♪ Sick ♪

‐♪ When I diss on a chump. ♪ ‐♪

‐♪ When you look with your eyes ♪ ‐Oh...

‐a big apology, right? ‐No.

‐a little slutty. ‐I don't think slutty's the vibe.

‐A short woman. ‐Give me this.

‐A small? ‐I would've guessed that.

‐Aah! ‐Aah! How've you been?

‐Aah! Okay? Okay, great. ‐Okay.

‐Ah. ‐BRIT: Sam?

‐Ah. ‐We're seeing each other.

‐all over again, except this time I'm way less cute. ‐Oh.

‐ALL: Surprise! ‐Happy six months sober.

‐almost anything. ‐Mm‐hmm.

‐Amen. ‐Love that.

‐and I didn't want to believe it. ‐Believe what?

‐And I think it's got a great message. ‐Plus she's super hot.

‐and I'm... I could‐I could come with you. to the next spot ‐Yeah, ex... Yeah, no...

‐and it could be fun, right? ‐Aw, Sam.

‐and she's marrying Joel. ‐I know.

‐And she's wearing a veil on her head, ‐Okay.

‐and some files and so on and so forth. ‐All right.

‐And that means? ‐I mean,

‐And the ones that didn't... ‐Well, their loss, right?

‐and the patriarchy couldn't handle that. ‐(grunts)

‐and then blamed it on you, ‐On me.

‐And then, awesome paint colors. ‐Yeah,

‐and wait to die? ‐Listen, here's the good news.

‐and we all love this one. ‐BRIT: Oh.

‐And we got a message for you. ‐(whooping)

‐And you look so beautiful. ‐Oh.

‐ANGELINE: No! ‐No. There's literally

‐Anyway, have a good night. ‐Okay.

‐are getting married. Hmm. ‐Yeah. I didn't

‐Are we all right? ‐Everything's totally fine.

‐Are you kidding me? ‐No. I've known Brit

‐assistant management position. ‐(chuckles)

‐At a meat counter? ‐Felicia, it's fine.

‐Aw. ‐Oh, wow.

‐Ay, really? That sucks. ‐No, it's okay.

‐Because I am a woman who said something true. ‐No.

‐because she was my friend. ‐This isn't about Brit.

‐because you code? ‐And that never made sense because

‐being married to that character. ‐I know,

‐BLAKE: Dude, you know he's sober. ‐But he's here.

‐Blast some "Closer to Fine" for me, okay? ‐That's a good idea.

‐Bob is in my spiritual book club. ‐Yeah.

‐Boom, bitches. ‐Just stop. Look...

‐BRIT: Where is she going? ‐FELICIA: Well, at least she's going slow.

‐Brit? ‐Oh, my God. Mrs. Fink.

‐But first, one more wedding question. ‐No!

‐but if you're down, I am. ‐Yeah.

‐but you leave no choice. Okay. ‐What are you doing?

‐but... ‐But, but, right. Um, Sam...

‐Bye, Doris. ‐Okay.

‐call it a party bus if it doesn't have a stripper pole. ‐Sam...

‐Can I get the keys? ‐Who's this?

‐Can I smell it? ‐Would it matter?

‐CAROL: Sam? ‐I need s... Yeah?

‐Chantel forced me to wear this. ‐You and Joel

‐Come on in, come on in. ‐Oh.

‐come with us you can. ‐No.

‐Come, sit down. ‐Welcome.

‐Cool. I'm gonna go sit over there. ‐All right, yeah.

‐Could you be my sponsor? ‐Oh, I don't know.

‐DANIELLE: Agreed. ‐Okay? Because it's all virgin,

‐DANIELLE: That was the best ‐For sure, yeah.

‐Dark hair. No. ‐Let me talk to them.

‐Did I interrupt something? ‐Sort of.

‐Did y'all see that? ‐Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

‐Did you know about this? ‐Yes, but why were you there?

‐do this on her birthday. ‐It's a good thing.

‐Do you hear me? ‐Oh, my God. Please.

‐Do you play video games? ‐Uh, yes.

‐Do your thing. ‐Have fun, baby!

‐Doing what? ‐Sorry. You're right.

‐Don't do it. Don't‐don't do it. ‐Don't... don't do it. Shh.

‐Don't you think? ‐ANGELINE: Yeah.

‐elbow deep in meat. ‐That's a tough day.

‐Everybody does it. ‐Oh, cool.

‐Excuse me. ‐Yeah, no, of course.

‐FELICIA: Come on, baby. ‐No, no, no, Joel made him wear the blades.

‐For the wedding. It's, what, just a few months away. ‐Oh. Oh, my God,

‐For what? ‐And I'm gonna find it...

‐For what? ‐For nothing.

‐For your St. Paddy's Day cookout, we have ‐(phone vibrates)

‐Get out... Sam. ‐Let me tell them the truth.

‐Give me a twirl. ‐Oh, God. Okay.

‐Give me five. ‐Oh.

‐Go sit down. ‐Yeah. Nice to meet you, Sam.

‐go to my room. ‐Okay.

‐Got this, girl. Go team. ‐Right. Mm.

‐Great. (clears throat) ‐Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm. Mm.

‐Happy tenth birthday, young Dan. ‐SAMANTHA: Is that

‐Have fun with Vinny and the boys. ‐No triggers.

‐He left his shoes. ‐You know, I would just love

‐He's a record holder. ‐Oh.

‐He's really valuable. He's the biggest cat in Boston. ‐It's true.

‐Hey, hey. You okay? ‐What?

‐Hey, you... ‐(phone vibrates)

‐Hey. ‐Hey.

‐Hey. ‐Hey.

‐Hey. ‐Hi.

‐Hey. ‐I'm Bob.

‐Hi, Gail. ‐Just waiting for Ms. Fink.

‐Hi, this is... ‐God, you're strong.

‐Hi. ‐(chuckles)

‐hi. ‐(Josh yowls)

‐Hi. ‐Didn't realize you two were hangout friends. Nice.

‐Hi. ‐Hey, you're still here.

‐Hi. ‐Hi.

‐Hi. ‐Uh... I thought...

‐Hi. ‐Um...

‐Hi. Nice hat. ‐Yeah.

‐hide my withdrawal zits. ‐You're welcome.

‐Hilarious. ‐I know. I'm so funny.

‐Hmm? ‐MINDY: (whoops) Sammy Fink!

‐How did you find me? ‐You don't remember

‐Huh. ‐Yeah, my dad had to have his hips replaced,

‐I am already regretting my decision. ‐Oh, no, no.

‐I am so sorry, yeah. ‐Yeah, mm‐hmm.

‐I can, like, feel the rejection. ‐Mm.

‐I can... Yeah. ‐Oh, right. Yeah, that makes sense. Why don't you

‐I do all the stuff. ‐Sam, listen,

‐I do look kind of cute. ‐You look super cute.

‐I do, don't I? (chuckles) ‐Yeah.

‐I do. ‐Yeah.

‐I don't like it. It's not good. ‐Okay.

‐I feel like I want to die. ‐ALL: No.

‐I got it. ‐Me too. Um...

‐I guess. ‐Yeah, well, you're kind of proving my point.

‐I have an idea. ‐All right.

‐I have guests. ‐Okay.

‐I just don't want... ‐CAROL: Hurry up!

‐I just got out of rehab. ‐Yeah, and I spent

‐I know. I know, I know. ‐God...

‐I like to schmooze afterwards. ‐Yeah, but I'm not one of them,

‐I love you. ‐DEEJAY: Brittany, let's see your best

‐I love you. ‐Love you.

‐I need you to shut up. ‐SAMANTHA (chuckles): Okay.

‐I really need your help. ‐Totally.

‐I really... ‐A disease is

‐I see you. ‐Okay? Yeah, let's get you checked out,

‐I thought you were dodging me. ‐Oh.

‐I want Rollerblades this time. ‐No blades.

‐I was very busy that day. ‐Oh, yeah?

‐I would have never known. ‐Okay. Thank you.

‐I‐I just started feeling bad. ‐Why?

‐I'll get it. ‐Thank you.

‐I'll take it. ‐So, I was with this really cute girl,

‐I'm a felon. ‐Yeah, I could've been.

‐I'm around. ‐No, I know. Thank you.

‐I'm fairly impressed with myself, as well. ‐Okay.

‐I'm gonna go to the bathr... ‐Can I speak to you

‐I'm gonna just get some... ‐Uh, you know what?

‐I'm here to help Brit with... ‐ANGELINE: Brittany?

‐I'm not going anywhere. ‐(sighs)

‐I'm not leaving! ‐You...

‐I'm occupying the space. ‐I didn't want to do it like this,

‐I'm Olivia. ‐Samantha.

‐I'm really not. I'm just not. ‐But then Brit

‐I've been researching some readings for the ceremony, ‐Mm.

‐I've ever seen. ‐Well, I think if it was

‐if you want. Like... ‐Uh...

‐in charge of my sex life. ‐Hey. You got this, all right?

‐in Friday Night Lights. ‐I know, but you love

‐In my stomach. It hurts really bad. No, I'm not okay. ‐You okay? You okay?

‐in the kitchen for a minute? ‐Sure.

‐in the store. I don't know who else ‐KATE: Right?

‐is back. ‐Yeah, I know.

‐Is it too slutty? ‐That's...

‐It did, didn't it? Yeah. ‐Yeah.

‐It is a little slutty. Just ‐Slutty?

‐It is. It's a bit... a bit better, yeah. ‐Less awkward.

‐It was. ‐Okay.

‐It‐it's been a minute. ‐You're not wrong. (chuckles)

‐It's a whole thing, 'cause, like, she used to date... ‐I don't...

‐It's a whole thing. (sighs) ‐Oh.

‐It's complicated. ‐Okay.

‐It's fine. ‐Forget about what?

‐It's like the old days again. ‐Yeah.

‐It's okay. ‐Baby, can I have five minutes?

‐It's okay. All right. ‐It's St. Patrick's Day.

‐It's really nice. ‐Yeah.

‐JAMES: All alone on St. Paddy's Day night, huh? ‐Oh, hi.

‐judgy. ‐Yeah, you seem super normal.

‐Kind of former... ‐Yeah.

‐L'chaim. ‐Bless you.

‐Let me see. You got to have more matches. ‐No.

‐Leukemia, for one. ‐Right. Yeah. Look,

‐like parties. ‐Mm.

‐likes a good Irish jig. ‐Oh!

‐Literally right there with James. ‐Oh, thank God.

‐Looks like you're stocking up for a very healthy end of days. ‐Yeah.

‐love you. ‐Love you.

‐MAN: Happy birthday! ‐WOMAN: Happy birthday, girl!

‐MAN: Sir? Are you okay? ‐Oh, God.

‐Melanie. ‐and I don't think it was... it's not sad.

‐Met? ‐Yeah.

‐Mm‐hmm? ‐Just put, like, your set of keys

‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Mm‐hmm. Oh!

‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Uh, the state can just show up

‐Mm‐hmm. ‐Yeah.

‐Mm‐mmm. ‐Oh, my God.

‐Mm. ‐I've been laying a lot of groundwork,

‐Mm. ‐Oh, I guess I can just email you, right?

‐Mm. ‐Who can I complain to?

‐Mmm. ‐I'm gonna go pee.

‐Mom... ‐You don't have a disease.

‐My bad. Are‐are you okay? ‐Yeah, totally.

‐my new probation officer. ‐Well,

‐Nice place. ‐Thanks.

‐No bueno. ‐Yeah.

‐No doubt. ‐Okay. ‐Thank you.

‐No keys. ‐No keys.

‐No keys. No keys. ‐No keys. No keys.

‐No, but... ‐Did you want to drink?

‐No, it's okay. She's my... ‐Oh, friend... ish.

‐No, no, no, no, no, no! ‐Oh!

‐No, no, no. The door's closed. ‐Stephanie's saying that

‐No, she's been the focus for just hours and hours. ‐SAMANTHA: Yeah.

‐No, uh, that's not the only reason... ‐No, you didn't

‐No, you haven't. ‐Sam,

‐No. ‐Not really.

‐No. Jesus. ‐What...

‐None for me, thanks. ‐Coming right up.

‐Nope. ‐That kid sucks.

‐now, do you have a Lactaid? 'Cause I'm‐a need it. ‐I can find you one.

‐Of course. ‐All right, come on, give it a go, come on.

‐Oh, come on. ‐Auntie Sammy needs a time‐out.

‐Oh, dude, no, I just meant that... ‐It's fine.

‐Oh, for sure. ‐Now, all we have to do

‐Oh, God. ‐Dead sober.

‐Oh, got it. (laughs) ‐Yeah.

‐Oh, hello. ‐I know you're upset, Mom.

‐Oh, I'm too hungover. ‐Excuse me?

‐Oh, it's nice to sit. ‐Yeah.

‐Oh, no. Sam. Hey, Sam. Sammy? ‐Oh, wait.

‐Oh, so now? All right, great. ‐Yes, now.

‐Oh, that's, like, 45 minutes. ‐It's actually longer, 'cause

‐Oh, you got one. ‐You love a disco ball.

‐Oh! ‐(chuckles)

‐Oh. ‐'cause they're all so great and so beautiful.

‐Oh. ‐Check it out, Sam.

‐Oh. ‐Doesn't matter. I'm giving up.

‐Oh. ‐It is, in all honesty,

‐Oh. ‐Oh, hey.

‐Oh. ‐Okay, that's enough. ‐Yeah.

‐Oh. ‐Uh, o‐okay.

‐Oh. ‐Way too small of a target.

‐Oh... ‐♪ Always gonna be another mountain ♪

‐Okay, I know we will. ‐Yeah, okay.

‐Okay, I love you so much. ‐Love you back.

‐Okay, I think it's sad. I can't hear it. ‐Okay, go mingle.

‐Okay, Sam, you... ‐I would never have a slice

‐Okay? ‐ANGELINE: Okay.

‐Okay? ‐Yeah.

‐Okay? It's right... ‐Yeah, well, I don't know if you can

‐Okay. ‐CAROL: Bob got us tickets

‐Okay. ‐Okay.

‐Okay. ‐sick house.

‐Okay. Felicia. ‐FELICIA: Got it?

‐or didn't happen at all. ‐Yeah. ‐Olivia,

‐Orange sweater. ‐Come on!

‐Ow! ‐What?

‐Pardon? ‐It's just, like, you can't help me

‐pick out some more dresses and I think... ‐KATE: Okay.

‐put the snacks in the front seat, honey? ‐Okay. I can do that.

‐Really? ‐I'm going to meet

‐Really? ‐Yes. Oh.

‐Right now? ‐Mm‐hmm.

‐Right? ‐Yeah.

‐Right? ‐Yes.

‐Sam, I don't want to... Okay. ‐Nope.

‐Sam, just, look. ‐Hey, Sam, Sam, just take a Lyft, please.

‐Sam! ‐Wow.

‐Sam. ‐I'm telling you. He's, like, genuinely

‐Samantha, wake up. ‐(gasps) Who?

‐SAMANTHA: I could sleep in your car. ‐Goodbye.

‐Sammy. Sammy, you can't drive. ‐No, Sam, I've got Lyft credits.

‐Seems easy enough. ‐(laughs) Oh, let's be honest.

‐She just got 'em done. ‐Uh...

‐She's right. ‐(laughs)

‐since she was little. ‐Yes, Mother,

‐so can I get the keys, please? ‐Oh. Oh, yeah.

‐so much more important ‐Yeah. You know what, ‐All right over here?

‐So sorry. Um, I have to run. ‐You're gonna go?

‐So, uh, can we order something? Or we don't have to... ‐Oh, yeah. Mm‐hmm.

‐So, what? ‐Your presence here

‐So, yes? ‐Mm‐hmm.

‐So, you good? ‐Yeah.

‐so... ‐No, but if you're ever looking

‐So... ‐What does digital mean?

‐sober. ‐Right. Shit.

‐Sorry about that. ‐It's okay.

‐Sorry, please, quickly. So, ‐(moans)

‐St. Pat's Day is like my Super Bowl. ‐I know.

‐such a long day already. ‐Right. You know, I'm gonna

‐Sukkot. ‐The tent.

‐Sure you do. ‐No, I do.

‐Sure. ‐Cool, uh,

‐Take Josh. ‐Yep.

‐Tell everyone. ‐Okay.

‐than mine! ‐this is just like you. ‐Hey! What's going on?

‐Thank you. ‐But I do this all day long,

‐Thank you. ‐Bye, babe. ‐You're welcome. Bye.

‐Thank you. ‐Everybody, this is Gail.

‐Thank you. ‐SAMANTHA: Yeah.

‐Thank you. ‐Thanks.

‐Thanks. ‐MINDY: I recognize that person.

‐that character. ‐I know, but I don't love

‐That could be good. ‐Yeah.

‐That is true. ‐And

‐That must be nice. ‐It is what it is.

‐that okay? ‐That's perfect.

‐That was for her, don't worry. ‐Okay.

‐That's a Cuomo and I'm not doing that. ‐MAN: Security.

‐That's a little... It's pale. ‐Okay.

‐That's a real bad book. ‐(sighs)

‐That's funny. I don't feel very lucky. ‐Oh.

‐That's messed up. It was probably Austin. ‐Nope.

‐That's not what I'm saying. ‐Well, then what are you saying?

‐that's two white guys. ‐To be fair,

‐That's why you're fired. ‐You're fired.

‐The cream puffs are to die for. ‐Oh, okay. Wait,

‐the door's also always open. ‐The... Oh, my...

‐They did not. ‐You got away with it.

‐they don't taste like they used to, I guess. ‐Mm.

‐This is Mindy. Uh, she's my... ‐Fiancée.

‐This is the one. ‐BRIT: Honestly,

‐TINA: Butt cheek! ‐Oh, I got to go.

‐to feel like this. Can we stop for a second? ‐Yeah. Sure, sure.

‐to have with you. ‐Well, nothing's off‐limits.

‐to say what you need to say. ‐Okay.

‐to snag a snack while you wait. ‐Oh, my God, thank you...

‐Too bad. So sad. I'm staying in your office. ‐All right.

‐Tuesdays, it's, uh, Jog Club. ‐Ugh.

‐Two. ‐All right.

‐Ugh. That's what you do? ‐Oh, my God!

‐Uh‐huh. ‐You know, I'm not sure if you kept my résumé,

‐Uh, I'm Chloe. ‐Sam.

‐Uh, sixth floor conference room. ‐Security?

‐until I saw Ghost. ‐Love that movie.

‐Very good. ‐(whooping)

‐very jealous of me. ‐Sam, you're drunk.

‐walks in the door, okay? ‐Yeah?

‐want you to find out this way. ‐All right, don't be sorry.

‐we can just... ‐We're putting our skates on, let's go.

‐we could make cookies or... ‐Oh, yeah.

‐we dated the same guy. ‐No. (short chuckle)

‐We don't have to put skates on. ‐No, we're... Come‐come on.

‐We got to put our skates on. ‐I‐I think

‐We pals? ‐Shh.

‐Well... ‐I mean, truly spectacular options.

‐What are you doing? ‐What?

‐What do you want? ‐Listen, I'm try...

‐What happened? ‐Didn't know there'd be so much...

‐What happened? ‐The shop is officially closed for business.

‐What if I wore this to Molly Malone's? ‐ANGELINE: Girl.

‐What the hell is wrong with you? ‐W...

‐what you did today. ‐SAMANTHA: Okay. All right, Kate.

‐What? ‐But with overcrowding and good behavior,

‐What? ‐CAROL: Are you all happy now?

‐What? ‐Don't get me wrong, it's completely natural.

‐What? ‐I mean,

‐What? ‐I'm Olivia Elliot,

‐What? ‐Samantha,

‐What'd you say to her? ‐Oh, my God,

‐Whatever. ‐Are you asking us to hang out?

‐when you're pretty. ‐Oh.

‐Where are you guys? ‐Oh, we're packing up the car.

‐Who invited you here? ‐Oh, I'm, uh,

‐Who is this? ‐What? Let me see.

‐Why? ‐It's my birthday.

‐with Melissa, Marisa? ‐It's Melanie,

‐Would you like some? ‐No, I'm...

‐Wow, you're such a stage mom. ‐Yeah, but a hot stage mom.

‐Wow. ‐Hi, sorry.

‐Y‐You don't like it? ‐Well, you know, it's just

‐Yay. ‐Yes, all right.

‐Yeah, come. ‐Thank you.

‐Yeah, I have it. Yeah... No, it's ready. ‐Cue it up.

‐Yeah, it actually does matter. ‐Dude, it doesn't matter.

‐Yeah, thank you so much for the cappuccino. ‐You sure?

‐Yeah, they're not great. ‐Like 27 Dresses. Honestly.

‐Yeah, what's his name again? ‐Brian. I picked him out

‐Yeah? ‐Uh‐huh.

‐Yeah? I watched a couple E. R. reruns ‐Yes.

‐Yeah. ‐(chuckles)

‐Yeah. ‐Brit...

‐Yeah. ‐Oh, no, I...

‐Yeah. ‐Right? Put your left leg over here,

‐Yeah. ‐See ya.

‐Yeah. ‐So...

‐Yeah. ‐Wow.

‐Yeah. ‐Wow.

‐Yeah. ‐Yeah.

‐Yeah. ‐You‐you look beautiful.

‐Yeah. Let's do it. Got to walk the gra... ‐(groans)

‐Yeah. Right. ‐MAN: Attention, shoppers.

‐Yep. Here I am. ‐♪ Stay so cool, ooh ♪

‐Yes, baby. ‐(shutter clicking)

‐Yes, you did. ‐Oh!

‐Yes. ‐(exhales)

‐You are not. ‐(chuckles)

‐you can't even muster a thank you? ‐Sorry, rough morning.

‐You cannot do that until you've changed. ‐Yeah, but I have changed.

‐You got it. ‐BRIT: Mm‐hmm.

‐You guys are gonna go straight home, right? ‐Yeah.

‐You guys okay? ‐Yeah. ‐Yeah.

‐You have... ‐This is, this is happening now.

‐You here by yourself? ‐Uh, no, I came with Brit.

‐You know that, right? ‐Look.

‐You know what? ‐Yeah?

‐you know, the sobriety app, right? ‐Oh, the app, yeah.

‐You know... ‐Yeah, I get it.

‐You look good. ‐Oh.

‐You look so good. ‐Thank you.

‐You okay? ‐Um...

‐You should get it for the funnel cake. ‐Ever. For real.

‐You stand up? ‐Yeah.

‐You sure I can't just stay with you? ‐I'm sure.

‐You want to go back to your apartment? ‐What?

‐you would need to be helping. ‐Right? 'Cause it's been

‐You? ‐Of course.

‐You're late. ‐(scoffs) What?

‐You're my world. I love you. ‐I love you. Beyond, beyond.

‐Your shift go okay? ‐Yeah, nothing too traumatic.

‐Yup. ‐I'm proud of you.

‐Zack. Zack! ‐Okay.

...also, New York. New York.

...I broke my tibia.

...what if this blows up in her face?

'Cause Brit wants me to pay for the party bus.

'cause Doris is a wonderful mentor.

'cause he he never got to see me sober, you know.

'cause I didn't want to miss...

'cause I don't think I've ever spread anyone's ashes.

'Cause I don't want anything I say

'cause I haven't seen her in a little while, so...

'cause I think I should just get started, you know.

'cause I think I'm riding a unicorn, you know?

'Cause I was looking at houses online,

'cause I'm a piece of shit. Just... just tell me

'Cause I'm a writer.

'cause I'm about to get my 30‐day chip

'Cause I'm gonna get it as soon as I can.

'Cause I'm killing it.

'Cause I'm pretty sure I can

'Cause if it is, you know, Joel is...

'Cause it was awkward. I mean, it's weird to see

'Cause it's not like I see you coming home

'cause part of the whole thing is taking responsibility.

'cause that's not cool. All right?

'cause the insurance didn't totally cover the damage

'Cause then you go to jail.

'Cause those things dissolve into murder

'cause we'd have, like, a lot of family over

'Cause we're already here, so, like, maybe we just

'Cause what what's stopping us no space, right?

'Cause you're finally having sex.

'cause you're kind of, like,

'Cause, like, the only place we ever hung out

'Cause, you know, I've seen it at, like, a gajillion weddings.

'Cause, you know, things feel different.

"Aye, aye, Captain," 'cause of my eye.

"Don't drink. I want to drink.

"Engineer with an electric personality."

"Hey, here's ten dogs that look the cast of Gossip Girl"?

"Hey. Sorry for sending you mixed signals.

"I am craving Flamin' Hot Cheetos" or

"I'm horny as hell."

"I'm‐I'm sorry" is like jumping over a puddle.

"Is she serious?" Uh... anyway, uh,

"Lance Arrrmstrong," right? One eye, one nut.

"Legend" by Alice Longyu Gao & Alice Glass playing)

"Oh, my God, you are so beautiful!

"Oh, so you decided to call me now?"

"Oh, we got to get women," right?

"Sucoat."

"this dress didn't make me want to cry", okay?

"walk of shame" shirts before work.

"When are you gonna meet my mom?

"Which Ariana Grande boyfriend are you?"

"Whoa" good or "whoa" bad? What is...

("13 Jours en France (Choeurs)" by Francis Lai playing)

("Connection" by Elastica playing)

("Feeling Good" by Megan Vice featuring TT The Artist playing)

("Get Down" by Still Woozy playing)

("Give Thanks" by Swing Ting playing)

("Hell N Back" by Bakar playing)

("I'm Not Afraid of Love" by Sharen Clark & The Product of Time)

("Just Be Cool" by DijahSB playing)

("Outta My Mind" by Monsune playing)

("Sharpener's Calling Me Again" by Cavetown playing)

("Tu M'as Trop Menti" by Chantal Goya playing)

("Uptown Girl" by The Beths playing)

("What Is Going On?" by Hannah Jadagu playing)

("You Sad" by Tkay Maidza playing)

(announcement continues indistinctly)

(bells chiming softly)

(blows raspberry) no.

(Bob chuckles)

(Bob chuckling softly in distance)

(Bob moaning)

(both laughing)

(both sigh)

(breathes heavily)

(Brian burping)

(car door closes)

(car honking)

(Carol chuckles)

(Carol exhales)

(Carol moaning in distance)

(Carol sighs)

(cheering)

(cheering)

(cheering)

(cheering)

(cheering)

(chuckles)

(chuckles)

(chuckles)

(chuckles)

(chuckles)

(chuckles)

(chuckles)

(chuckles) Good for you, hot dog no relish,

(chuckles) he was, uh, his only son

(chuckles) I can't wait to meet him.

(chuckles) It's fine.

(chuckles) Mmm.

(chuckles) Nice. That's funny.

(chuckles) No, they just, um...

(chuckles) Wow.

(chuckles) Y Yeah.

(clears throat)

(clears throat)

(clears throat)

(clears throat)

(clears throat) Excuse me, miss.

(clears throat) Okay. I heard my Mom

(coughing, retching)

(coughs) See, I'd join your cult.

(crying, laughing)

(crying): because I'm fat.

(door closes)

(door closes)

(door closes)

(door closes)

(door closes)

(door opens and closes)

(door opens, closes)

(door opens)

(door opens)

(door opens)

(doorbell ringing)

(engine starts)

(engine starts)

(engine starts)

(engine starts)

(English accent): Oh, my God, did you want to have some

(exhales)

(exhales)

(game beeping, chiming)

(gasps softly) No judgement.

(gasps)

(gasps) Oh, I'm so sorry.

(gasps) Okay... Oh!

(gasps) Really?

(giggles) Come on, come on, come on, come on.

(groans)

(groans) My boobs are huge.

(grunting)

(grunts) What are you doing?!

(grunts) Yeah.

(imitating vomiting)

(indistinct announcement over P. A.)

(indistinct announcement over P. A.)

(indistinct chatter continuing)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(indistinct chatter)

(inhales)

(James mumbles)

(Joel clears his throat)

(King Princess' "There She Goes Again" playing)

(kissing)

(knocking on door)

(laughing): I love you, too.

(laughing): Oh, God.

(laughing): Yes!

(laughs, groans)

(laughs)

(laughs)

(laughs)

(laughs)

(laughs)

(laughs) I am not your friend.

(laughs) I might.

(laughs) Please.

(laughs): Okay.

(liquid pouring)

(low whoops)

(moans)

(mumbling): ♪ Always gonna wanna make it move ♪

(mumbling): ♪ Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose ♪

(muttering, grunting)

(mutters)

(Olivia sighs)

(oven timer dings)

(panting)

(phone buzzes)

(phone buzzing)

(phone buzzing)

(phone buzzing)

(phone buzzing)

(phone buzzing)

(phone chimes)

(phone chimes)

(phone rings)

(phone vibrates)

(phone vibrates)

(quiet chatter)

(quietly): IPA's the dark one? I always forget.

(Samantha clears throat)

(Samantha sighs)

(scoff) Yeah, well, I'm very romantic.

(scoffs, chuckles)

(scoffs)

(scoffs)

(scoffs)

(scoffs) God, no. Mine.

(scoffs) You are the one who is kicking out your

(screaming) Samantha?!

(screams)

(short chuckle)

(short chuckle)

(short chuckle) Brother Dad. (laughs)

(short chuckle) Must have been really drunk.

(short laugh) What do you mean?

(sighs)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(sighs) Bye. Bye.

(sighs) Let me see what we're working with here.

(sighs) Why does everybody keep asking me that?

(sighs) You're right. No. I should've definitely

(snorts, laughs)

(snorts, laughs)

(sobbing)

(spits)

(trills)

(Trip laughs)

(vibrating stops)

(water running)

(whispering): Do you know where I can get some... drugs?

(whispering): Hey, listen, I'm gonna go out first.

(whispering): I have so many thoughts.

(whispering): Okay. You can come in.

(whispering): Sam! Sammy.

(whispers): Thank you.

(whoops, chuckles)

(whoosh)

(woman laughs)

(yawns)

(Yebba's "How Many Years" playing)

(yelling)

[singing]

[singing]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪ ... they stare 34 inch hair ♪

♪ 'Cause baby, I'm the king ♪

♪ 'Cause he's got all her jewelry and wallet... ♪

♪ 'Cause it won't end up going your way ♪

♪ "Call me," don't know what I did, but I hope... ♪

♪ (meow) All us girls are replaceable ♪

♪ (meow) Did you ever maybe think that ♪

♪ (meow) Did you know your skin is reversible? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ A dude without his shirt and he yelling out ♪

♪ About... ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ain't about ♪

♪ Ain't about what's waiting on the other

♪ Ain't about what's waiting on the other ♪

♪ All 'cause an escape ♪

♪ Always gonna wanna make it move ♪

♪ And the crowd goes... ♪

♪ Avocado toast, she tryna be a model ♪

♪ Best friend, you my ... soulmate. ♪

♪ Better the measure ♪

♪ Big up the gyal dem wid di healthy body ♪

♪ Big up the gyal dem wid di healthy body ♪

♪ Block party, block party... ♪

♪ Block party, bring your crew here too ♪

♪ Body so hot, how you stay so cool? ♪

♪ Booty stickin' out and I ain't get shots yet ♪

♪ Bring out those shoes, we want both pairs ♪

♪ Bringing crowds till we shut the street down, them cars... ♪

♪ Burn your candle to the wick and bury you alive ♪

♪ But I don't give a damn right now ♪

♪ But if you look twice ♪

♪ Can I get a boom, can I get a boom, boom? ♪

♪ Catch me if you can ♪

♪ Contact, contact, give me room ♪

♪ Could you tell where my head was at when you found me? ♪

♪ Did you really think all us girls are replaceable? ♪

♪ Don't back down, I don't run for cover ♪

♪ Don't be worried, don't be scared ♪

♪ Don't look back ♪

♪ Don't pull up to tell me how you feel ♪

♪ Don't worry, you'll be fine ♪

♪ Don't you move, I ain't trying to go home ♪

♪ Don't you move, I ain't trying to go home ♪

♪ Dreams come true. ♪

♪ Dreams come true... ♪

♪ Drink vodka straight from the bottle ♪

♪ Everybody wants to be a genius ♪

♪ Everything seems nice ♪

♪ Everything seems nice... ♪

♪ Fat ... they stare ♪

♪ Feeling good, feeling good ♪

♪ Feeling good, good, good, good, good! ♪

♪ Feels like walking on a landslide ♪

♪ Figure out what you like ♪

♪ First class Bombay, let me hear you say ♪

♪ First up to bat, contact on a John Doe ♪

♪ For the cake, got a yard so long ♪

♪ For this when you understand ♪

♪ Forget me ♪

♪ Fresh blow out, skin on tan ♪

♪ Fresh fitted on the one‐two ♪

♪ From East L. A. ♪

♪ Get Cardi on the line, yeah ♪

♪ Go crazy ♪

♪ Goodbye and all that ♪

♪ Got her own money, she don't need no ... ♪

♪ He gon' blow a bag just to make me happy ♪

♪ He just put me in the Lamb', I'm a speed fast ♪

♪ He just put me on a jet from the projects ♪

♪ Heaven and Cindy ♪

♪ Hey, love, love, love ♪

♪ Hits her over the head... ♪

♪ How dare you want more? ♪

♪ How dare you want more? ♪

♪ How dare you want more? ♪

♪ How dare you want more? ♪

♪ How dare you want more? How dare you want more? ♪

♪ How fast I get there ♪

♪ How many years will it take for these years to dry? ♪

♪ I ♪

♪ I ain't afraid to sting ♪

♪ I be dodging the snakes, 'cause they tell you ♪

♪ I be working up the fires ♪

♪ I can make the crowd go crazy ♪

♪ I don't give a sh... You can't pay me, bitch... ♪

♪ I feel it happening... ♪

♪ I found your first draft in the trash ♪

♪ I get it all ♪

♪ I just need a manicure, red tips... ♪

♪ I know my ... gon' pay my bail. ♪

♪ I know my ... gon' pay my bill ♪

♪ I know, you mad 'cause I'm the raddest ♪

♪ I know, you talking shit you embarrassed ♪

♪ I made up my mind to stay away ♪

♪ I need a thug, baby, quick to pull his gun out ♪

♪ I smush your tush ♪

♪ I thought we were friendly... ♪

♪ I want a rich ... your cheap ... ♪

♪ I want them shoes right there, cost a few bands ♪

♪ I'm ♪

♪ I'm just a bachelor... ♪

♪ I'm not afraid ♪

♪ I'm‐a be there full‐time, I go hard ♪

♪ I've been fooled once, but I won't be fooled again ♪

♪ I've been waitin' for the right time ♪

♪ If all else fails ♪

♪ If you insecure... ♪

♪ If you move like we do, but I got to... ♪

♪ If your ... givin' you somethin' ♪

♪ In that Rolls Royce truck where he eat, eat ♪

♪ Insecure, girl, Alice ♪

♪ Into my skin ♪

♪ Is that my bestie in a Tessie? ♪

♪ It ain't about how fast I get there ♪

♪ It knows what it needs ♪

♪ It reeks of such conformative... ♪

♪ It's like one, two, three ♪

♪ It's like one, two, three ♪

♪ It's like... ♪

♪ It's the climb ♪

♪ It's the climb ♪

♪ It's too soon, I'm trying to dance away ♪

♪ It's too soon, I'm trying to dance away ♪

♪ Joshy, I love you ♪

♪ Just a matter of time ♪

♪ Just be cool, stay right there ♪

♪ Just be cool, stay right there ♪

♪ Just because I run away ♪

♪ Just lay down and relax, I can swallow all my glass ♪

♪ Konnichiwa ♪

♪ Let me take you... ♪

♪ Let you out of my sight. ♪

♪ Like Frank, catch me if you can ♪

♪ Look at all your friends that she's gonna meet ♪

♪ Mad 'cause I be going hard in the paint ♪

♪ Make the crowd go crazy ♪

♪ Make the crowd go crazy. ♪

♪ Me and you went to hell and back just to find peace... ♪

♪ Move your body ♪

♪ Move your body, move, move... ♪

♪ Move, move your body ♪

♪ My Z‐O‐D told me we don't match today ♪

♪ Negativity. ♪

♪ No bodda come yah wid you negativity ♪

♪ No, I'm not afraid of love ♪

♪ Nobody knows more than you do ♪

♪ Not afraid of love ♪

♪ Now she twerkin', she throw it out and come back in ♪

♪ Now take a look ♪

♪ Nuh bodda come yah wid you negativity ♪

♪ Of our bedroom ♪

♪ Oh, apples and oranges ♪

♪ Oh, apples and oranges. ♪

♪ Oh, God, I'm dying to know, but how dare you want more? ♪

♪ Oh, my Lord, please don't pass me by ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh. ♪

♪ On the dance floor, she had two, three drinks ♪

♪ On the mic I'm gonna murder ya, tear you up... ♪

♪ Onset make you work up sweat, make ya ♪

♪ Onset, make you ♪ ♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪

♪ Onset, make you work up sweat ♪

♪ Onset, make you work up sweat an' a ♪

♪ Onset, make you work up sweat an' a ♪

♪ Onset, make you work up sweat, make ya ♪

♪ Ooh, baby... ♪

♪ Ooh, baby... ♪

♪ Ooh, she ready ♪

♪ Or are you... ♪

♪ Pack my suitcase up till I can't bear it ♪

♪ People passing out on the lawn, get the Sharpie ♪

♪ Perfume is the poison ♪

♪ Preacher, preacher's callin' from the floor ♪

♪ Preacher, preacher's callin' from the floor ♪

♪ Quite frankly, I think that you'll thank me ♪

♪ Rhythm I jam on a fish stick, played‐out gimmick... ♪

♪ Riding through the city on my bike all day 'cause the filth ♪

♪ Screw you, did you? ♪

♪ Sharpener's calling me again... ♪

♪ She wanna get down, I wanna to get down ♪

♪ She's down on her knees, my friend ♪

♪ She's gonna break me ♪

♪ She's gonna take me... ♪

♪ Side ♪

♪ Side ♪

♪ Sipping sugar‐free Red Bulls ♪

♪ So I've been duckin', you're buggin' ♪

♪ Someday ♪

♪ Something I can draw ♪

♪ Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose ♪

♪ Stick your tongue out ♪

♪ Sun is in the sky, oh, why, oh, why ♪

♪ Sun is in the sky, oh, why, oh, why ♪

♪ Sun is in the sky, oh, why, oh, why ♪

♪ That is called al fresco... ♪

♪ That my best friend, she a real bad ... ♪

♪ That my friend, she a real bad ... ♪

♪ That's my ... there ♪

♪ That's my ... there ♪

♪ The same... ♪

♪ The way I do? ♪

♪ There she goes ♪

♪ There she goes ♪

♪ There she goes ♪

♪ There she goes again ♪

♪ There was a little old lady ♪

♪ There were people from the city having lunch... ♪

♪ There's always gonna be an uphill battle ♪

♪ There's always gonna be an uphill battle ♪

♪ There's always gonna be another mountain ♪

♪ These are the moments that I'm with you. ♪

♪ These blues, yes, it's late, boy ♪

♪ These blues. ♪

♪ These steps toward faith, I can't imagine it ♪

♪ Thinking 'bout my bank account ♪

♪ This is going as prepared ♪

♪ To let you know that I've been looking for you ♪

♪ To look ♪

♪ To make 'em all say, "Yes, sir" ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ To me they're the same... ♪

♪ To set the mood, like ♪

♪ To you. ♪

♪ Took away my license, it doesn't get me down... ♪

♪ Trying to pay my mom's bills ♪

♪ Trying to play a big boy game... ♪

♪ Turn me up, turn me up, here we, here we go ♪

♪ Uh, turn my baby daddy to my sugar daddy ♪

♪ Until now, when I caught you ♪

♪ Waitin', come and... ♪

♪ Walkin' like you about to get paid, yeah... ♪

♪ Walkin' round London town ♪

♪ Want me to grip your ... with two hands ♪

♪ Was just a sharpener ♪

♪ Waste gyal you know you cyah chat to we ♪

♪ Waste man you know you cyah chat to we ♪

♪ Watch your back, watch your back, feel the contact ♪

♪ Watch your back, watch your back, feel the contact ♪

♪ We're gonna get down, so ♪

♪ Well, that's okay with me. ♪

♪ Well, tonight we're gonna drown the sound out ♪

♪ What's wrong with maybe? ♪

♪ What's wrong with maybe? ♪

♪ When you look with your eyes ♪

♪ When you say "I need you" ♪

♪ Where can I run when my running is out of time? ♪

♪ Which one of them will you get to? ♪

♪ Who am I without this weight on my shoulder? ♪

♪ Who knows how to ride... ♪

♪ Who was walking down the road... ♪

♪ Why am I ashamed ♪

♪ With all things that you might do ♪

♪ With the wild style, twist, twist ♪

♪ Woke up from a dream... ♪

♪ Work hard, but you hardly on the grind ♪

♪ Would I wanna be anywhere else? ♪

♪ Would I wanna be anywhere else? ♪

♪ Would I wanna be... ♪

♪ Yeah, tonight we're gonna drown it out. ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah! ♪ (blows raspberry)

♪ You are what dreams... ♪

♪ You be acting like you be that boy, but you ain't ♪

♪ You can see it's all lies ♪

♪ You can see it's all lies. ♪

♪ You could never catch me in Lululemon ♪

♪ You had always been someone ♪

♪ You may ♪

♪ You see her walkin' on down the street ♪

♪ You so sad ♪

♪ You're never gonna keep me down... ♪

♪ You're not the only one ♪

$50. Venmo.