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Mike Tyson Mysteries - Season 4 Mike Tyson Mysteries is an animated television series that was first aired in 2014. It is a

Mike Tyson Mysteries - Season 4

Mike Tyson Mysteries is an animated television series that was first aired in 2014. It is a comedy-mystery show that follows the adventures of the retired boxing champ, Mike Tyson, as he solves bizarre cases with his unique team.

The main cast of Mike Tyson Mysteries includes Mike Tyson himself, who voices his own character. The show also features the talented voice acting skills of Norm Macdonald, who voices the hilarious pigeon sidekick, aptly named Pigeon. Rachel Ramras provides the voice for Yung Hee Tyson, a teenage girl who is the daughter of a long-lost love interest of Mike Tyson. Lastly, Jim Rash lends his voice to the ghost of the Marquess of Queensberry, a historical figure who serves as the team's guide.

Season 4 of Mike Tyson Mysteries delivers another round of hilarious and unpredictable adventures. The show maintains its distinctive blend of surreal humor, absurd storylines, and unexpected plot twists. This season, the team encounters a wide range of bizarre cases that include everything from alien abductions to time-traveling criminals.

The animated series takes a unique approach to storytelling and animation style, reminiscent of classic Hanna-Barbera cartoons. It balances its comedic elements with subtle commentary on pop culture and boxing culture, creating a show that can be appreciated by a wide audience.

For fans of Mike Tyson Mysteries, you can now play and download sounds from the show, adding an extra layer of entertainment to your experience. The sound library includes iconic catchphrases and sound effects that will transport you directly into the world of Mike Tyson Mysteries. Whether you want to hear Mike Tyson's famous lines or enjoy the distinctive sounds of Pigeon's antics, this collection of sounds will surely enhance your viewing experience.

To access the sounds of Mike Tyson Mysteries, simply visit the official website or online platform dedicated to the show. There, you can find an extensive collection of sounds that can be downloaded and enjoyed at your leisure. Immerse yourself in the world of the show, reliving your favorite moments or creating new ones.

In conclusion, Mike Tyson Mysteries - Season 4 is a captivating animated comedy-mystery series that continues to entertain fans with its unique blend of humor and storytelling. With a talented cast and a distinctive animation style, the show successfully delivers another season of unpredictable adventures. Don't miss out on the opportunity to play and download sounds from the show, bringing the laughter and excitement of Mike Tyson Mysteries into your own home.

A dinner fit for kings, eh? [laughs]
A dinner fit for kings, eh? [laughs]
A few weeks later, another eyelash came out,
A few weeks later, another eyelash came out,
A fish processing factory. Jesus.
A fish processing factory. Jesus.
A gate in front of the stairs, etcetera.
A gate in front of the stairs, etcetera.
Ah, so tragic!
Ah, so tragic!
Ah, well, at least it was a peaceful death.
Ah, well, at least it was a peaceful death.
All I want is to be with Josephine.
All I want is to be with Josephine.
All right, Margaret. Get on out of here and go play.
All right, Margaret. Get on out of here and go play.
All right, Pigeon, let's start with you.
All right, Pigeon, let's start with you.
All right. Let's go back in there,
All right. Let's go back in there,
All these wires,
All these wires,
Also because you just had your **** inside me.
Also because you just had your **** inside me.
An eyelash come out and I wished for an Asian baby.
An eyelash come out and I wished for an Asian baby.
And "not someone who could take care of themselves."
And "not someone who could take care of themselves."
And anyway, Josephine is going to marry Tucker's best friend
And anyway, Josephine is going to marry Tucker's best friend
And because "Marquess" sounds like "Marcus,"
And because "Marquess" sounds like "Marcus,"
And because I don't give a shit anymore, I respond.
And because I don't give a shit anymore, I respond.
And because you are all monstrously ignorant and lazy,
And because you are all monstrously ignorant and lazy,
And being burned alive!
And being burned alive!
And everyone knew my songs, and knew who I was,
And everyone knew my songs, and knew who I was,
And good luck with that.
And good luck with that.
And he doesn't appear to be breathing.
And he doesn't appear to be breathing.
And he works so hard.
And he works so hard.
And help them get us millions of dollars.
And help them get us millions of dollars.
And I appreciate that, Pigeon.
And I appreciate that, Pigeon.
And I didn't get hard.
And I didn't get hard.
And I know I don't tell you that enough...
And I know I don't tell you that enough...
And I will handle all of that.
And I will handle all of that.
And I'll be damned if I allow these parents
And I'll be damned if I allow these parents
And I'll tell Josephine to meet you.
And I'll tell Josephine to meet you.
And I'm sorry, but who are we to play God?
And I'm sorry, but who are we to play God?
And if money could buy happiness, I would give you my $5 million.
And if money could buy happiness, I would give you my $5 million.
And it's like, "(BLEEP) me! I just died. I want a (BLEEP) Diet Coke."
And it's like, "(BLEEP) me! I just died. I want a (BLEEP) Diet Coke."
And just as he's shared it with me,
And just as he's shared it with me,
And kale, and I got so sick of it
And kale, and I got so sick of it
And make sure we have **** like outer protectors,
And make sure we have **** like outer protectors,
And Mary Lynne MacGovern.
And Mary Lynne MacGovern.
And more importantly,
And more importantly,
And now I'll never know because they forgot my three meat plate.
And now I'll never know because they forgot my three meat plate.
And now you want to just sit by the side of the road?
And now you want to just sit by the side of the road?
And remember, you're supposed to be sad.
And remember, you're supposed to be sad.
And she was like, "2:38." Then I started setting it.
And she was like, "2:38." Then I started setting it.
And slather soap all over her naked body,
And slather soap all over her naked body,
And that I mattered in this world?
And that I mattered in this world?
And that's what makes it great.
And that's what makes it great.
And that's why it didn't come true?
And that's why it didn't come true?
And the next day, poof, I got Marquess.
And the next day, poof, I got Marquess.
And the pit of my day...
And the pit of my day...
And the trash,
And the trash,
And then get to the hospital for my night shift
And then get to the hospital for my night shift
And then I'll come home and eat a bite of stew,
And then I'll come home and eat a bite of stew,
And then my friend, Daniel...
And then my friend, Daniel...
And then you grab the spine and give it a yank.
And then you grab the spine and give it a yank.
And we are rich?
And we are rich?
And we recently lost our child.
And we recently lost our child.
And yes, God is a man.
And yes, God is a man.
And you can sit there like Judge Judy with your can of Sprite
And you can sit there like Judge Judy with your can of Sprite
And you can't have any food or drink in there, unless it's water.
And you can't have any food or drink in there, unless it's water.
And you don't know what the three meats are.
And you don't know what the three meats are.
And you increased my penis size.
And you increased my penis size.
And you want me to go with you and sign some papers in a bank,
And you want me to go with you and sign some papers in a bank,
And you're like, "Really? Because right now,
And you're like, "Really? Because right now,
And your sourpuss and be miserable.
And your sourpuss and be miserable.
And, oh, my God, he loves the sound of his voice.
And, oh, my God, he loves the sound of his voice.
And, oh, my God, he loves the sound of his voice.
And, oh, my God, he loves the sound of his voice.
And... I'm sorry, is there maybe a scented candle we can light?
And... I'm sorry, is there maybe a scented candle we can light?
Angel, I have to go to the bank with these fine people
Angel, I have to go to the bank with these fine people
Anyone have any ideas?
Anyone have any ideas?
Anyway, God is just up there, yabbering,
Anyway, God is just up there, yabbering,
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are you serious? Are you mother (BLEEP) serious?
Are you serious? Are you mother (BLEEP) serious?
As I have said on numerous occasions,
As I have said on numerous occasions,
As you know, I've been going through some tough times of late.
As you know, I've been going through some tough times of late.
Asking for a friend."
Asking for a friend."
Aw.
Aw.
Aw. Okay. So, how do we get it into the Wishing Well?
Aw. Okay. So, how do we get it into the Wishing Well?
Aw. Okay. So, how do we get it into the Wishing Well?
Aw. Okay. So, how do we get it into the Wishing Well?
Because I didn't want to offend her father.
Because I didn't want to offend her father.
Because I watched you shower this morning,
Because I watched you shower this morning,
Because I'm a bird.
Because I'm a bird.
Because no one thought about you.
Because no one thought about you.
Because of legal whatnots.
Because of legal whatnots.
Because the very first time I was setting it, I was like,
Because the very first time I was setting it, I was like,
Because you know what, Yung? You're miserable.
Because you know what, Yung? You're miserable.
Buh buh buh buh. You don't need your seat belts, man.
Buh buh buh buh. You don't need your seat belts, man.
Bumpers around any sharp corners,
Bumpers around any sharp corners,
But after you've been there for a little bit. You know, like a day.
But after you've been there for a little bit. You know, like a day.
But can I please have a cup of coffee in the living room?
But can I please have a cup of coffee in the living room?
But I did not say that precisely,
But I did not say that precisely,
But I didn't, and I'm a man to my word.
But I didn't, and I'm a man to my word.
But I have finished my dinner. May I please be excused?
But I have finished my dinner. May I please be excused?
But I know she'll wake up. We just need more time.
But I know she'll wake up. We just need more time.
But I probably would because all I had today was a bowl of cereal.
But I probably would because all I had today was a bowl of cereal.
But I think I would have enjoyed the answer more
But I think I would have enjoyed the answer more
But I'd say it's a tie between forgetting to record the opening round of the Masters
But I'd say it's a tie between forgetting to record the opening round of the Masters
But I'm on a.m. and I'm trying to get on p.m.
But I'm on a.m. and I'm trying to get on p.m.
But I'm sure he would prefer that we speak to him privately.
But I'm sure he would prefer that we speak to him privately.
But if this is about Josephine Monahan, you're wasting your time.
But if this is about Josephine Monahan, you're wasting your time.
But it can't. That's on you, Yung.
But it can't. That's on you, Yung.
But man, like I said, I'm gonna run, not walk.
But man, like I said, I'm gonna run, not walk.
But not Josephine.
But not Josephine.
But sometimes, you can be a bitch.
But sometimes, you can be a bitch.
But that's the world we live in.
But that's the world we live in.
But this says, if it's been unclaimed for more than ten years,
But this says, if it's been unclaimed for more than ten years,
But we should really get going before the bank closes.
But we should really get going before the bank closes.
But, if I understand Nevada tax law correctly,
But, if I understand Nevada tax law correctly,
But, unfortunately, our families have been in a feud
But, unfortunately, our families have been in a feud
But, you must remember that not all wishes should be granted.
But, you must remember that not all wishes should be granted.
Can I change my peak? This is the new peak of my day.
Can I change my peak? This is the new peak of my day.
Can I have a ginger ale?
Can I have a ginger ale?
Can I offer anyone coffee?
Can I offer anyone coffee?
Clayton, no!
Clayton, no!
Come on, lads.
Come on, lads.
Come on! Do you want your money or not?
Come on! Do you want your money or not?
Come, let us be a family together in Fantasy Forest.
Come, let us be a family together in Fantasy Forest.
Damn, son, see if I got any financial funds laying around anywhere.
Damn, son, see if I got any financial funds laying around anywhere.
Dear Lord!
Dear Lord!
DEER: (LAUGHING) Wonderful.
DEER: (LAUGHING) Wonderful.
DEER: Hello, little Margaret.
DEER: Hello, little Margaret.
DEER: Now, let's go meet the talking trees!
DEER: Now, let's go meet the talking trees!
DEER: They're over by the babbling brook.
DEER: They're over by the babbling brook.
Did they forget my three meat plate?
Did they forget my three meat plate?
Did you ever live at 17 4 9 7, East Tuckey Avenue?
Did you ever live at 17 4 9 7, East Tuckey Avenue?
Did you guys get my usual, the five fish platter?
Did you guys get my usual, the five fish platter?
Do you know anything about how to increase penis size?
Do you know anything about how to increase penis size?
Do you know where he is?
Do you know where he is?
Don't you point that at me!
Don't you point that at me!
Drive faster, Marquess, and feel free to close your eyes.
Drive faster, Marquess, and feel free to close your eyes.
Even if we were willing to end this feud,
Even if we were willing to end this feud,
Even some good wishes get caught in the Bush,
Even some good wishes get caught in the Bush,
Every dollar counts.
Every dollar counts.
Everybody likes the funny guy.
Everybody likes the funny guy.
Evidently.
Evidently.
Ew! No way. Gross.
Ew! No way. Gross.
Feeling lots of feelings, and, uh...
Feeling lots of feelings, and, uh...
Fiona, come meet my
Fiona, come meet my
First thing I'm gonna do is get a brand new wardrobe.
First thing I'm gonna do is get a brand new wardrobe.
Fish heads in hot water,
Fish heads in hot water,
For many, many consecutive hours.
For many, many consecutive hours.
From Western Savings and Loan.
From Western Savings and Loan.
Get in the van!
Get in the van!
Go to one of those old distilleries.
Go to one of those old distilleries.
Going back generations,
Going back generations,
Great great great great great great grandfather.
Great great great great great great grandfather.
Guess who's certified in CPR, bitches?
Guess who's certified in CPR, bitches?
Has gifted me half of his fortune.
Has gifted me half of his fortune.
Hawaiian burger for you, Mr. Bird.
Hawaiian burger for you, Mr. Bird.
He better be out in the south pasture deworming cattle.
He better be out in the south pasture deworming cattle.
He didn't get that from me. He got it from his mother.
He didn't get that from me. He got it from his mother.
He has nipple rings.
He has nipple rings.
He wasn't even wearing any jewelry.
He wasn't even wearing any jewelry.
He works in a factory,
He works in a factory,
He's not really dead. Come with me.
He's not really dead. Come with me.
He's such a good man.
He's such a good man.
He's your living heir. You can't even get it out of the bank without him.
He's your living heir. You can't even get it out of the bank without him.
Here in this enclosed vehicle
Here in this enclosed vehicle
Here you are, Fiona.
Here you are, Fiona.
Here you go. Uh, utensils and napkins are in the bag.
Here you go. Uh, utensils and napkins are in the bag.
Here, here, here. Lie down next to him.
Here, here, here. Lie down next to him.
Here, let me look it up on my phone.
Here, let me look it up on my phone.
Here, Pigeon, I learned the Heimlich maneuver.
Here, Pigeon, I learned the Heimlich maneuver.
Here. Now, play dead.
Here. Now, play dead.
Hey, **** you, Pigeon! Okay, Mike.
Hey, **** you, Pigeon! Okay, Mike.
Hey, Deezy, you didn't wanna join us for dinner?
Hey, Deezy, you didn't wanna join us for dinner?
Hey, hey, hey, everybody! You got a new mystery.
Hey, hey, hey, everybody! You got a new mystery.
Hey, is that a race joke because she's Asian?
Hey, is that a race joke because she's Asian?
Hey, J.D., you got any more beer in that cooler?
Hey, J.D., you got any more beer in that cooler?
Hey, man, we gotta go get you on the
Hey, man, we gotta go get you on the
Hey, put my name in there too. Let's see if I have anything in those unclaimed funds.
Hey, put my name in there too. Let's see if I have anything in those unclaimed funds.
Hey, what you got on that computer?
Hey, what you got on that computer?
Hey, you can give her your fish heads, lads.
Hey, you can give her your fish heads, lads.
Hey, Yung, you want to choke on a sucking candy?
Hey, Yung, you want to choke on a sucking candy?
Hey. Hey, hold up.
Hey. Hey, hold up.
Hmm, I like that.
Hmm, I like that.
Hmm? Again, it's just a quick zip to the bank, zip in and zip out.
Hmm? Again, it's just a quick zip to the bank, zip in and zip out.
Hmm? Oh, yeah. Right, okay.
Hmm? Oh, yeah. Right, okay.
Hold up, where the (BLEEP) is my food?
Hold up, where the (BLEEP) is my food?
Honey, I'm home!
Honey, I'm home!
How about you, Yung?
How about you, Yung?
How do you spell "Yung"? No MSG, right? [laughs]
How do you spell "Yung"? No MSG, right? [laughs]
How the **** did I electrocute him?
How the **** did I electrocute him?
Huh. Go (BLEEP) yourself, Margaret Moses.
Huh. Go (BLEEP) yourself, Margaret Moses.
Huh. Normally, you just put in your information and they send it to you,
Huh. Normally, you just put in your information and they send it to you,
Huh. Normally, you just put in your information and they send it to you,
Huh. Normally, you just put in your information and they send it to you,
I am rolling over in my own grave.
I am rolling over in my own grave.
I am sick of that shitty van.
I am sick of that shitty van.
I ate too many of the delicious Tyson chicken nuggets.
I ate too many of the delicious Tyson chicken nuggets.
I believe what we're all wondering
I believe what we're all wondering
I believe you, Clayton, but no one else will.
I believe you, Clayton, but no one else will.
I call it the weekend.
I call it the weekend.
I can bring you back to life, man.
I can bring you back to life, man.
I can't not have my three meat plate.
I can't not have my three meat plate.
I can't thank you enough, Deezy.
I can't thank you enough, Deezy.
I can't thank you enough, Deezy.
I can't thank you enough, Deezy.
I can't thank you enough.
I can't thank you enough.
I couldn't catch him, but it's okay. I'll just have cereal.
I couldn't catch him, but it's okay. I'll just have cereal.
I did want to marry a Monahan.
I did want to marry a Monahan.
I don't care what you're feeling,
I don't care what you're feeling,
I don't care what you're feeling.
I don't care what you're feeling.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know. I'm just so [bleep] mad.
I don't know. I'm just so [bleep] mad.
I don't see anything.
I don't see anything.
I don't see your tits. What's your excuse?
I don't see your tits. What's your excuse?
I feel so bad for this Clayton boy.
I feel so bad for this Clayton boy.
I find that very interesting.
I find that very interesting.
I found it.
I found it.
I got a new meth recipe. Turn on the stove.
I got a new meth recipe. Turn on the stove.
I got a stash in the barn. What the...
I got a stash in the barn. What the...
I have an address. Get this, he lives in Glasgow.
I have an address. Get this, he lives in Glasgow.
I have nothing.
I have nothing.
I have the power of God. I am God.
I have the power of God. I am God.
I hear you, Yung. Economy of words.
I hear you, Yung. Economy of words.
I intend on sharing mine with all of you.
I intend on sharing mine with all of you.
I just don't know how to change it.
I just don't know how to change it.
I just said shut up.
I just said shut up.
I look like I'm in a [bleep] Jane Austen novel. Oh, my God.
I look like I'm in a [bleep] Jane Austen novel. Oh, my God.
I love hearing you talk, Marquess. It relaxes me.
I love hearing you talk, Marquess. It relaxes me.
I love you too, Clayton MacGovern.
I love you too, Clayton MacGovern.
I love you, Josephine Monahan.
I love you, Josephine Monahan.
I mean, I'm not not gonna drink, that's crazy.
I mean, I'm not not gonna drink, that's crazy.
I mean, what is this old timey [bleep]?
I mean, what is this old timey [bleep]?
I probably just you told that to shut you up!
I probably just you told that to shut you up!
I promise this will all work out.
I promise this will all work out.
I promise you, we will make sure your wish comes true.
I promise you, we will make sure your wish comes true.
I said "Can I" not "May I." Burn.
I said "Can I" not "May I." Burn.
I said you go first.
I said you go first.
I should have just said, "Stop talking!"
I should have just said, "Stop talking!"
I think I had a small savings there.
I think I had a small savings there.
I think I had a small savings there.
I think I had a small savings there.
I think that's old enough here.
I think that's old enough here.
I think we're all wondering,
I think we're all wondering,
I want Hugey Monahan to make the first move.
I want Hugey Monahan to make the first move.
I want some alone time with Moms.
I want some alone time with Moms.
I was gonna say, "Why don't you drive back to that trailer park,
I was gonna say, "Why don't you drive back to that trailer park,
I was gonna say, "Why don't you tell us about the Wishing Well?"
I was gonna say, "Why don't you tell us about the Wishing Well?"
I was just riding one of the stallions.
I was just riding one of the stallions.
I was just trying to connect, you know, on a human level.
I was just trying to connect, you know, on a human level.
I wish I could, Marquess,
I wish I could, Marquess,
I wish I had said I was gonna drive, not walk,
I wish I had said I was gonna drive, not walk,
I wished to meet my favorite Looney Tunes character,
I wished to meet my favorite Looney Tunes character,
I would be shielded from this grievance
I would be shielded from this grievance
I would say the peak of my day was,
I would say the peak of my day was,
I... I mean, you love who you love, and...
I... I mean, you love who you love, and...
I'll be there in a second.
I'll be there in a second.
I'll go out and distract him while you sneak out the back.
I'll go out and distract him while you sneak out the back.
I'll see you tomorrow night.
I'll see you tomorrow night.
I'll talk to your parents, I...
I'll talk to your parents, I...
I'm coming to be with you, Clayton.
I'm coming to be with you, Clayton.
I'm dying.
I'm dying.
I'm going to run, not walk, to that CPR class.
I'm going to run, not walk, to that CPR class.
I'm gonna get my buzz on.
I'm gonna get my buzz on.
I'm gonna watch My Best Friend's Wedding,
I'm gonna watch My Best Friend's Wedding,
I'm in love with a girl, and she's in love with me.
I'm in love with a girl, and she's in love with me.
I'm just, um...
I'm just, um...
I'm not a negative person, so, these are always hard to think of,
I'm not a negative person, so, these are always hard to think of,
I'm rich! Oh, I'm gonna buy so many things.
I'm rich! Oh, I'm gonna buy so many things.
I'm rich. Oh! Oh, my God!
I'm rich. Oh! Oh, my God!
I'm sorry, Marquess. I am really sorry.
I'm sorry, Marquess. I am really sorry.
I'm sorry, what about the Wishing Well?
I'm sorry, what about the Wishing Well?
I'm sorry, Yung, I didn't mean to call you a bitch.
I'm sorry, Yung, I didn't mean to call you a bitch.
I'm sorry. I just felt like I don't belong and nobody likes me.
I'm sorry. I just felt like I don't belong and nobody likes me.
I'm still inside of you, pretty Josephine.
I'm still inside of you, pretty Josephine.
I'm sure that woman will be fine.
I'm sure that woman will be fine.
I'm with you so far. Go on.
I'm with you so far. Go on.
I've incurred massive debts and tax liabilities
I've incurred massive debts and tax liabilities
Ian Douglas. I think he would be
Ian Douglas. I think he would be
Ian, it should be very straightforward.
Ian, it should be very straightforward.
Ian? Ian?
Ian? Ian?
If I were "mentally disabled"
If I were "mentally disabled"
If I would have had a cold glass of ginger ale.
If I would have had a cold glass of ginger ale.
If it said Margaret Moses chicken nuggets, I wouldn't be eating them.
If it said Margaret Moses chicken nuggets, I wouldn't be eating them.
If the victim is wearing a necklace or any metal jewelry,
If the victim is wearing a necklace or any metal jewelry,
In the branches of the Bountiful Bush.
In the branches of the Bountiful Bush.
In the trash or in the garbage?
In the trash or in the garbage?
Interesting,
Interesting,
Interesting, how different people are.
Interesting, how different people are.
Is it about his tiny dick? Just so we're clear,
Is it about his tiny dick? Just so we're clear,
Is that why it says Tyson chicken nuggets?
Is that why it says Tyson chicken nuggets?
Is threatening to pull the plug on Friday.
Is threatening to pull the plug on Friday.
Is why your two families are feuding.
Is why your two families are feuding.
Isn't that interesting?
Isn't that interesting?
Isn't that right, Hugey?
Isn't that right, Hugey?
It came true! My wish came true!
It came true! My wish came true!
It goes backwards and forwards, and this way and that way.
It goes backwards and forwards, and this way and that way.
It sounds more exciting than it is, believe me.
It sounds more exciting than it is, believe me.
It stands for... I don't know.
It stands for... I don't know.
It was an accident, I swear!
It was an accident, I swear!
It was around 2:50 or some shit.
It was around 2:50 or some shit.
It was Tucker I loved.
It was Tucker I loved.
It's a special. They don't always have it.
It's a special. They don't always have it.
It's fine, come on in. You can head on back to the bedroom.
It's fine, come on in. You can head on back to the bedroom.
It's hard to find because it's hidden by the Bountiful Bush.
It's hard to find because it's hidden by the Bountiful Bush.
It's never gonna come back in style.
It's never gonna come back in style.
It's none of your business.
It's none of your business.
It's now what she says, it's how she say it.
It's now what she says, it's how she say it.
It's only 9:42.
It's only 9:42.
J.D. Montague.
J.D. Montague.
J.D., what are you doing?
J.D., what are you doing?
J.D.'s dead. I killed him!
J.D.'s dead. I killed him!
Jesus!
Jesus!
Jesus! Quiet! Back to work.
Jesus! Quiet! Back to work.
Jo Jo, what the **** are you doing in the barn?
Jo Jo, what the **** are you doing in the barn?
John Douglas, the Marquess of Queensberry,
John Douglas, the Marquess of Queensberry,
Josephine!
Josephine!
Josephine!
Josephine!
Just a quick trip to the bank,
Just a quick trip to the bank,
Just give them all to Fiona here, she'll make a great fish head stew.
Just give them all to Fiona here, she'll make a great fish head stew.
Just so you know, I'd rather die than marry J.D.
Just so you know, I'd rather die than marry J.D.
Lads, this fine man,
Lads, this fine man,
Let's find Margaret's wish!
Let's find Margaret's wish!
Let's get him!
Let's get him!
Let's go around the table and say our pits and peaks.
Let's go around the table and say our pits and peaks.
Let's just rest.
Let's just rest.
Let's see if Marquess is in there.
Let's see if Marquess is in there.
Like a pan? Like a frying pan?
Like a pan? Like a frying pan?
Like her face is like a frying pan?
Like her face is like a frying pan?
Like Romeo and Juliet. This is major.
Like Romeo and Juliet. This is major.
Like the first thing in the morning before you get your coffee.
Like the first thing in the morning before you get your coffee.
Like, right now, I'm wishing that car coming the opposite way
Like, right now, I'm wishing that car coming the opposite way
Little Margaret, you've lost your parents,
Little Margaret, you've lost your parents,
Long ago, it was cattle.
Long ago, it was cattle.
Look, I didn't support my son, Bosie,
Look, I didn't support my son, Bosie,
Look, if wishes came true, you think I'd be living in this hellhole?
Look, if wishes came true, you think I'd be living in this hellhole?
Man, where you want these fish heads, man?
Man, where you want these fish heads, man?
Margaret, there's chicken nuggets in the freezer if you're hungry.
Margaret, there's chicken nuggets in the freezer if you're hungry.
MARGARET: Oh!
MARGARET: Oh!
MARGARET: Yay!
MARGARET: Yay!
Marquess, don't promise her that.
Marquess, don't promise her that.
Marquess, these people need the money more than you.
Marquess, these people need the money more than you.
Marquess, what's your last name?
Marquess, what's your last name?
May I ask a question?
May I ask a question?
Maybe I wasn't clear when I said
Maybe I wasn't clear when I said
Michael, this is silly.
Michael, this is silly.
Michael!
Michael!
Mike, did you know this? Did you know your daughter is pan?
Mike, did you know this? Did you know your daughter is pan?
Mike! Hold up, team!
Mike! Hold up, team!
Mm kay.
Mm kay.
Mm kay. It seems longer.
Mm kay. It seems longer.
Monty MacGovern and Mary Lynne MacGovern,
Monty MacGovern and Mary Lynne MacGovern,
Mr. Bird?
Mr. Bird?
My great great great grandson, or maybe one more "great."
My great great great grandson, or maybe one more "great."
My name is John Douglas.
My name is John Douglas.
My side of the family, you mean.
My side of the family, you mean.
My title is "Marquess of Queensberry."
My title is "Marquess of Queensberry."
Neither of our families would allow it.
Neither of our families would allow it.
Next day, Yung was on my doorstep.
Next day, Yung was on my doorstep.
No Monahan will ever marry a MacGovern.
No Monahan will ever marry a MacGovern.
No one cares.
No one cares.
No shit, Sherlock!
No shit, Sherlock!
No, I'm I'm sorry. What were you going to say?
No, I'm I'm sorry. What were you going to say?
No, I'm talking about the driver in this car.
No, I'm talking about the driver in this car.
No, Marquess, I'll just sit back here ready to save lives.
No, Marquess, I'll just sit back here ready to save lives.
No, Michael, I think everyone calls it the weekend.
No, Michael, I think everyone calls it the weekend.
No, no, we're not rich,
No, no, we're not rich,
No, not just sneaking around in a barn at night.
No, not just sneaking around in a barn at night.
No, she's a sweet little girl
No, she's a sweet little girl
No, that's not what we're wondering,
No, that's not what we're wondering,
No, Tuck, we're out. Don't you got any weed?
No, Tuck, we're out. Don't you got any weed?
No!
No!
No. Not if you're already dead.
No. Not if you're already dead.
Nobody needs to die.
Nobody needs to die.
Nope, nothing in Nevada for John Douglas.
Nope, nothing in Nevada for John Douglas.
Not even remotely.
Not even remotely.
Now your wish will never come true.
Now your wish will never come true.
Now, give me that mystery.
Now, give me that mystery.
Now, here's something I did not know.
Now, here's something I did not know.
Now, it's just in our blood.
Now, it's just in our blood.
Now, let me go put on a tie.
Now, let me go put on a tie.
Now, let's go (BLEEP) while it cooks.
Now, let's go (BLEEP) while it cooks.
Now, let's go get you your money, sir.
Now, let's go get you your money, sir.
Now, let's go help little Margaret Moses get her wish.
Now, let's go help little Margaret Moses get her wish.
Now, shut the [bleep] up.
Now, shut the [bleep] up.
Oh no, it's my brother, Tucker, and his stupid friend, J.D.
Oh no, it's my brother, Tucker, and his stupid friend, J.D.
Oh, damn!
Oh, damn!
Oh, damn. You ordered from Ted's Grill!
Oh, damn. You ordered from Ted's Grill!
Oh, God, don't even say such a thing, Deezy.
Oh, God, don't even say such a thing, Deezy.
Oh, here we go. Shit.
Oh, here we go. Shit.
Oh, I knew it was something bird, it's Tweety bird.
Oh, I knew it was something bird, it's Tweety bird.
Oh, I'm just checking out the Nevada State Treasurer's Office website.
Oh, I'm just checking out the Nevada State Treasurer's Office website.
Oh, I'm sorry, I was listening to music.
Oh, I'm sorry, I was listening to music.
Oh, I'm sorry, I was listening to you.
Oh, I'm sorry, I was listening to you.
Oh, it's... Oh, it's so, it's...
Oh, it's... Oh, it's so, it's...
Oh, Mi... Don't you wanna drive?
Oh, Mi... Don't you wanna drive?
Oh, my God, just like that commercial.
Oh, my God, just like that commercial.
Oh, my God! Is my screen not working?
Oh, my God! Is my screen not working?
Oh, my God! Mmm mmm. Mmm mmm.
Oh, my God! Mmm mmm. Mmm mmm.
Oh, my God! You don't even know that person.
Oh, my God! You don't even know that person.
Oh, my God. I'm rich.
Oh, my God. I'm rich.
Oh, my God. Just get to the point.
Oh, my God. Just get to the point.
Oh, no! Oh! They're both dead!
Oh, no! Oh! They're both dead!
Oh, no. That clock is wrong. It's still on daylight savings time.
Oh, no. That clock is wrong. It's still on daylight savings time.
Oh, really? So, you're just gonna judge me the entire flight to Scotland?
Oh, really? So, you're just gonna judge me the entire flight to Scotland?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. This dude's still breathing.
Oh, shit. This dude's still breathing.
Oh, shut up, J.D.!
Oh, shut up, J.D.!
Oh, that's right.
Oh, that's right.
Oh, that's right. You've got the body of an 11 year old boy.
Oh, that's right. You've got the body of an 11 year old boy.
Oh, the mom is a trailer park whore.
Oh, the mom is a trailer park whore.
Oh, wait, we need to check and see
Oh, wait, we need to check and see
Oh, we were just admiring your home!
Oh, we were just admiring your home!
Oh, well... Uh... What about this mystery?
Oh, well... Uh... What about this mystery?
Oh, yeah. I do that all the time.
Oh, yeah. I do that all the time.
Oh, Yung, uh, you actually do know something about increasing penis size.
Oh, Yung, uh, you actually do know something about increasing penis size.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. "Cludgie" means bathroom.
Oh. "Cludgie" means bathroom.
Oh. I would love a cup.
Oh. I would love a cup.
Oh. Oh! Even the rain smells in this godforsaken place.
Oh. Oh! Even the rain smells in this godforsaken place.
Oh. Uh...
Oh. Uh...
Okay, Deezy, how do I get my money?
Okay, Deezy, how do I get my money?
Okay, Deezy, how do I get my money?
Okay, Deezy, how do I get my money?
Okay, everyone clear.
Okay, everyone clear.
Okay, everyone clear.
Okay, everyone clear.
Okay, first thing you do in an emergency.
Okay, first thing you do in an emergency.
Okay, good, good. So an inspector will come out to the house
Okay, good, good. So an inspector will come out to the house
Okay, here's a John Douglas.
Okay, here's a John Douglas.
Okay, Mr. and Mrs. MacGovern...
Okay, Mr. and Mrs. MacGovern...
Okay, no jewelry.
Okay, no jewelry.
Okay, no jewelry.
Okay, no jewelry.
Okay, no. Unfortunately,
Okay, no. Unfortunately,
Okay, now we need a second bullet
Okay, now we need a second bullet
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay.
Okay, okay. So, in this scenario,
Okay, okay. So, in this scenario,
Okay, okay. So, when do you get off work?
Okay, okay. So, when do you get off work?
Okay, that's three, let's go.
Okay, that's three, let's go.
Okay, um, I'll go ahead and order another
Okay, um, I'll go ahead and order another
Okay, you know what? Judge away, just judge away.
Okay, you know what? Judge away, just judge away.
Okay? And I don't believe in labels.
Okay? And I don't believe in labels.
Okay. Everybody, it's 11:59.
Okay. Everybody, it's 11:59.
Okay. They tell you when you first die. Not the first thing,
Okay. They tell you when you first die. Not the first thing,
Okay. Um, there is an additional reason your son contacted us,
Okay. Um, there is an additional reason your son contacted us,
Okay. What time is it now?
Okay. What time is it now?
Okay. While I was in the joint,
Okay. While I was in the joint,
On a lonely highway at midnight.
On a lonely highway at midnight.
Once everyone leaves, you'll run off
Once everyone leaves, you'll run off
Or a can of Febreze? Just a quick, quick, quick spritz?
Or a can of Febreze? Just a quick, quick, quick spritz?
Or as I sometimes call it, the "weekend."
Or as I sometimes call it, the "weekend."
Or just beef, caribou, penguin, and one more?
Or just beef, caribou, penguin, and one more?
Or penguin, beef and caribou?
Or penguin, beef and caribou?
Our days of gutting fish are over.
Our days of gutting fish are over.
Pigeon, her father is standing right here.
Pigeon, her father is standing right here.
PIGEON: We're still not gonna go back to the trailer park?
PIGEON: We're still not gonna go back to the trailer park?
Pigeon! Don't worry, Margaret. It's all gonna be okay.
Pigeon! Don't worry, Margaret. It's all gonna be okay.
Please come help. Her life is in your hands."
Please come help. Her life is in your hands."
Please help. Yours very truly, Clayton MacGovern.
Please help. Yours very truly, Clayton MacGovern.
Please help. Yours very truly, Clayton MacGovern.
Please help. Yours very truly, Clayton MacGovern.
Please, call us Monty MacGovern
Please, call us Monty MacGovern
Precision in communication.
Precision in communication.
Put it in Yung's name. Her missing money is my money.
Put it in Yung's name. Her missing money is my money.
Put me in that weekend state of mind.
Put me in that weekend state of mind.
Really? Really.
Really? Really.
Right.
Right.
Run, Clayton!
Run, Clayton!
Scotland, bitches!
Scotland, bitches!
Scotsmen they got running around here.
Scotsmen they got running around here.
Season 04 Episode 05 Episode Title: "Pits and Peaks"
Season 04 Episode 05 Episode Title: "Pits and Peaks"
See that, Mike? I get you that money.
See that, Mike? I get you that money.
See, this is why you put in all that hard work during the week,
See, this is why you put in all that hard work during the week,
She ain't your sweet Josephine for much longer.
She ain't your sweet Josephine for much longer.
She and the rest of her family can go straight to hell.
She and the rest of her family can go straight to hell.
She's right. It works for me every single time.
She's right. It works for me every single time.
Shh, shh!
Shh, shh!
Shouldn't that be all that matters?
Shouldn't that be all that matters?
Show some respect to the financial institution.
Show some respect to the financial institution.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Sir, do I have your permission to render aid?
Sir, do I have your permission to render aid?
Sir, sir, are you okay?
Sir, sir, are you okay?
Sir! Sir! Hey, hold up.
Sir! Sir! Hey, hold up.
So basically, I'm just eating boneless, skinless chicken breast
So basically, I'm just eating boneless, skinless chicken breast
So I'm gonna ask the victim for permission.
So I'm gonna ask the victim for permission.
So much guilt, so much shame.
So much guilt, so much shame.
So our love cannot be.
So our love cannot be.
So the scientists who study these rectums can find a cure! [chuckles]
So the scientists who study these rectums can find a cure! [chuckles]
So we don't electrocute him.
So we don't electrocute him.
So what's your poison? The penis or the vagina?
So what's your poison? The penis or the vagina?
So why did Clayton contact you, exactly?
So why did Clayton contact you, exactly?
So, all wishes are sent to the Wishing Well,
So, all wishes are sent to the Wishing Well,
So, are we still going to Wyoming, or...
So, are we still going to Wyoming, or...
So, are we still going to Wyoming, or...
So, are we still going to Wyoming, or...
So, by the time I got the right 2:38 on there,
So, by the time I got the right 2:38 on there,
So, I thought I'd be the funny guy.
So, I thought I'd be the funny guy.
So, I'm gonna split the money with you.
So, I'm gonna split the money with you.
So, let's give three cheers for John Douglas,
So, let's give three cheers for John Douglas,
So, let's hear about this Wishing Well.
So, let's hear about this Wishing Well.
So, we came all this way for nothing?
So, we came all this way for nothing?
So, you think Margaret wished for something bad to happen
So, you think Margaret wished for something bad to happen
Some people wish for some terrible things,
Some people wish for some terrible things,
Sometimes, you gotta use your teeth, you know, get the knob of the spine.
Sometimes, you gotta use your teeth, you know, get the knob of the spine.
Stay with him. I'll go get help.
Stay with him. I'll go get help.
Such a good husband and father.
Such a good husband and father.
Take a nap, and then watch Runaway Bride,
Take a nap, and then watch Runaway Bride,
Take your pill, Mary Lynne.
Take your pill, Mary Lynne.
Thank you.
Thank you.
That all daycare providers take a CPR certification class.
That all daycare providers take a CPR certification class.
That I can never hope to repay.
That I can never hope to repay.
That is on you.
That is on you.
That old situation.
That old situation.
That's almost $5 million.
That's almost $5 million.
That's because it's inside my body,
That's because it's inside my body,
That's how come all of you are here.
That's how come all of you are here.
That's not possible! It's midnight.
That's not possible! It's midnight.
That's not your name? It's something Bird, right?
That's not your name? It's something Bird, right?
That's right, Sugar.
That's right, Sugar.
That's suprisin'. He's very flashy.
That's suprisin'. He's very flashy.
That's the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.
That's the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.
That's what makes it a (BLEEP) Hawaiian burger!
That's what makes it a (BLEEP) Hawaiian burger!
That's why you should always call first.
That's why you should always call first.
The bank closes at 5:00.
The bank closes at 5:00.
The Marquess of Queensberry.
The Marquess of Queensberry.
The only way to get to Fantasy Forest is
The only way to get to Fantasy Forest is
The tires, oh. Mmm hmm.
The tires, oh. Mmm hmm.
The victim has passed out,
The victim has passed out,
The Wishing Well in Fantasy Forest.
The Wishing Well in Fantasy Forest.
Then another eyelash came out and I wished for a live in maid.
Then another eyelash came out and I wished for a live in maid.
Then I finally get to 2:38,
Then I finally get to 2:38,
Then I guess I know where this week's mystery takes place.
Then I guess I know where this week's mystery takes place.
Then it was oil.
Then it was oil.
Then run away with me! To hell with our families!
Then run away with me! To hell with our families!
Then see if the victim is responsive.
Then see if the victim is responsive.
Then you lay the carcass back for rendering.
Then you lay the carcass back for rendering.
Then, you can finally be together.
Then, you can finally be together.
There things always have a way of working themselves out.
There things always have a way of working themselves out.
There you go, little Margaret Moses.
There you go, little Margaret Moses.
There, there, my dear.
There, there, my dear.
There'll be another one, Marquess.
There'll be another one, Marquess.
There's an unclaimed account in your name at the Royal Bank of Scotland.
There's an unclaimed account in your name at the Royal Bank of Scotland.
There's no way in hell we're making the first move to end this feud.
There's no way in hell we're making the first move to end this feud.
These fishes aren't gonna process themselves. [chuckles]
These fishes aren't gonna process themselves. [chuckles]
These young men both dead.
These young men both dead.
They forgot the pineapple!
They forgot the pineapple!
They said they can release the money to a living heir.
They said they can release the money to a living heir.
They send you to this seminar. It's called "Secrets of the universe."
They send you to this seminar. It's called "Secrets of the universe."
They won't give me my money.
They won't give me my money.
They're probably drunk. You gotta get out of here, Clayton.
They're probably drunk. You gotta get out of here, Clayton.
They're under the sink, dumb ass.
They're under the sink, dumb ass.
This is called the AED machine.
This is called the AED machine.
This is so major.
This is so major.
Title : "The Monahans and MacGoverns"
Title : "The Monahans and MacGoverns"
To be going 100 miles an hour on a lonely highway
To be going 100 miles an hour on a lonely highway
To get to the end of the week.
To get to the end of the week.
To have been fired.
To have been fired.
To make the same mistake I did. I just...
To make the same mistake I did. I just...
To one of those red bearded sweaty
To one of those red bearded sweaty
To the Mystery Mobile!
To the Mystery Mobile!
Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, man.
Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, man.
Tucker'll shoot you dead if he catches you on our property.
Tucker'll shoot you dead if he catches you on our property.
Tuna melt, that's Yung.
Tuna melt, that's Yung.
Tweety bird, and here is Tweety bird.
Tweety bird, and here is Tweety bird.
Ugh, anyway. You learn about time, you know.
Ugh, anyway. You learn about time, you know.
Ugh, I'm not getting any reception.
Ugh, I'm not getting any reception.
Ugh! Fine!
Ugh! Fine!
Ugh. I bet poor little Margaret's wish
Ugh. I bet poor little Margaret's wish
Ugh. Quit wasting everyone's time, Margaret.
Ugh. Quit wasting everyone's time, Margaret.
Ugh. Your father set this clock completely wrong.
Ugh. Your father set this clock completely wrong.
Uh oh. You just said your wish out loud.
Uh oh. You just said your wish out loud.
Uh, but before you take on their mystery,
Uh, but before you take on their mystery,
Uh, no thanks.
Uh, no thanks.
Uh... Rest and relaxation?
Uh... Rest and relaxation?
Um, sure.
Um, sure.
Unfortunately, the state does require
Unfortunately, the state does require
Unless you wanna give me a hand?
Unless you wanna give me a hand?
Unreal.
Unreal.
Up high, Marquess!
Up high, Marquess!
Use a cludgie like the rest of us.
Use a cludgie like the rest of us.
Wait, wait, Josephine!
Wait, wait, Josephine!
Wait, what?
Wait, what?
Wait. Why are we stopping?
Wait. Why are we stopping?
Wanna know why? Because I'm deceased.
Wanna know why? Because I'm deceased.
Was get the hell out of this shithole...
Was get the hell out of this shithole...
Was the stallion's name Clayton MacGovern?
Was the stallion's name Clayton MacGovern?
We all fell asleep! We missed midnight.
We all fell asleep! We missed midnight.
We both do.
We both do.
We did not order anything for you,
We did not order anything for you,
We don't even know what she wished for.
We don't even know what she wished for.
We don't need to know.
We don't need to know.
We got them as a hidden symbol of our love!
We got them as a hidden symbol of our love!
We have a big night ahead of us.
We have a big night ahead of us.
We have to trim the bush.
We have to trim the bush.
We just got to wait here together,
We just got to wait here together,
We just need to go to the Wishing Well.
We just need to go to the Wishing Well.
We look like a gang of child molesters in that thing.
We look like a gang of child molesters in that thing.
We were going 100 miles an hour
We were going 100 miles an hour
We'll have more time to spend with our loved ones.
We'll have more time to spend with our loved ones.
We're getting married. Her parents said so.
We're getting married. Her parents said so.
We're going to a bank after all.
We're going to a bank after all.
Weekdays are for jibber jabber,
Weekdays are for jibber jabber,
Weekends are for... Wait, what are they for, Marquess?
Weekends are for... Wait, what are they for, Marquess?
Well, (BLEEP) you, you don't see anything!
Well, (BLEEP) you, you don't see anything!
Well, any moment before being burned alive.
Well, any moment before being burned alive.
Well, at least they both died a peaceful death.
Well, at least they both died a peaceful death.
Well, come on, then.
Well, come on, then.
Well, do you have a living heir?
Well, do you have a living heir?
Well, for starters, "Marquess" isn't my first name.
Well, for starters, "Marquess" isn't my first name.
Well, I do, sister.
Well, I do, sister.
Well, I'm doing this paleo thing.
Well, I'm doing this paleo thing.
Well, I'm only 18.
Well, I'm only 18.
Well, if anything, I identify as pan.
Well, if anything, I identify as pan.
Well, it could be a while. I've got to process the rest of those...
Well, it could be a while. I've got to process the rest of those...
Well, it's not totally paleo, because I drink,
Well, it's not totally paleo, because I drink,
Well, it's you know, it is, um, well, it's just absolute...
Well, it's you know, it is, um, well, it's just absolute...
Well, let me see.
Well, let me see.
Well, let's just pull over and wait.
Well, let's just pull over and wait.
Well, run outside. Maybe you can still catch the guy.
Well, run outside. Maybe you can still catch the guy.
Well, then, you best get going.
Well, then, you best get going.
Well, uh, I lived in Scotland. Can you search there?
Well, uh, I lived in Scotland. Can you search there?
What am I supposed to do with this massive erection?
What am I supposed to do with this massive erection?
What do you guys call it?
What do you guys call it?
What if today was chicken, beef and penguin?
What if today was chicken, beef and penguin?
What is happening?
What is happening?
What is happening?
What is happening?
What is happening?
What is happening?
What is wrong with you?
What is wrong with you?
What?
What?
What? I was just... I mean,
What? I was just... I mean,
What? What? I don't!
What? What? I don't!
When families don't support their children in matters of the heart...
When families don't support their children in matters of the heart...
When he fell in love with Oscar Wilde
When he fell in love with Oscar Wilde
When she was little I used to call her "Frying Pan Fran."
When she was little I used to call her "Frying Pan Fran."
When the clock strikes midnight.
When the clock strikes midnight.
When Tucker sees what I've done, he'll kill me!
When Tucker sees what I've done, he'll kill me!
Where are you, my sweet Josephine?
Where are you, my sweet Josephine?
Where I remove rectums from cadavers.
Where I remove rectums from cadavers.
Where you guys going?
Where you guys going?
Where'd you put all the chemicals?
Where'd you put all the chemicals?
Which I know you'll solve because you guys are the best,
Which I know you'll solve because you guys are the best,
Which is that I watched her shower
Which is that I watched her shower
Which is why I didn't say what I wanted to say,
Which is why I didn't say what I wanted to say,
Which is why it needs to be trimmed occasionally.
Which is why it needs to be trimmed occasionally.
Who thinks if you make a wish on an eyelash, it'll come true.
Who thinks if you make a wish on an eyelash, it'll come true.
Who's Margaret Moses, and why is she gonna (BLEEP) herself?
Who's Margaret Moses, and why is she gonna (BLEEP) herself?
With all this bush trimming talk,
With all this bush trimming talk,
Would now be a "daycare center."
Would now be a "daycare center."
Would swerve in our lane, and kill the driver.
Would swerve in our lane, and kill the driver.
Wyoming. There's a family feud involving a tiny penis.
Wyoming. There's a family feud involving a tiny penis.
Yeah, I got weed, you dumb ass.
Yeah, I got weed, you dumb ass.
Yeah, of course I know that.
Yeah, of course I know that.
Yeah, that's right. Rest and relaxation.
Yeah, that's right. Rest and relaxation.
Yeah, this is so...
Yeah, this is so...
Yeah! Oh, this home is...
Yeah! Oh, this home is...
Yes. [gasps] That was my bank!
Yes. [gasps] That was my bank!
You are a great, great, great, great, great human being.
You are a great, great, great, great, great human being.
You are just too funny.
You are just too funny.
You are my great great great great great grandson.
You are my great great great great great grandson.
You bet your little penis you will.
You bet your little penis you will.
You call me "Marquess."
You call me "Marquess."
You can get drunk and lose your virginity
You can get drunk and lose your virginity
You cannot just render aid without their permission
You cannot just render aid without their permission
You get me all hot and bothered
You get me all hot and bothered
You got me.
You got me.
You gotta know your role, Deezy, Yung is the funny guy.
You gotta know your role, Deezy, Yung is the funny guy.
You had to press that button so many times.
You had to press that button so many times.
You just take a fish, and first, you saw off the head.
You just take a fish, and first, you saw off the head.
You know how many times I wished I was a singer,
You know how many times I wished I was a singer,
You know that can't be.
You know that can't be.
You know what else we're gonna get? A new [bleep] car.
You know what else we're gonna get? A new [bleep] car.
You know, any money that has gone missing in the mail or what have you.
You know, any money that has gone missing in the mail or what have you.
You know, groomed.
You know, groomed.
You know, in case, God forbid, I choke on a hot dog or a marble.
You know, in case, God forbid, I choke on a hot dog or a marble.
You know, seeing if there's any unclaimed funds out there.
You know, seeing if there's any unclaimed funds out there.
You know, to happen to other people.
You know, to happen to other people.
You look around, you make sure everything is safe.
You look around, you make sure everything is safe.
You said you didn't want me to join you for dinner.
You said you didn't want me to join you for dinner.
You shot me!
You shot me!
You told me if you say your wish, it won't come true.
You told me if you say your wish, it won't come true.
You would be my caregiver, and the Mike Tyson Mystery team
You would be my caregiver, and the Mike Tyson Mystery team
You'll be stuck here forever doing whatever job is your job.
You'll be stuck here forever doing whatever job is your job.
You're a lesbian, aren't you?
You're a lesbian, aren't you?
You're gonna receive $2.5 million.
You're gonna receive $2.5 million.
You're my great great great great great grandfather?
You're my great great great great great grandfather?
You're my great great great great great grandfather?
You're my great great great great great grandfather?
You're ruining my weekend with all your jibber jabber.
You're ruining my weekend with all your jibber jabber.
Your son is in love.
Your son is in love.
Yung, can we switch seats?
Yung, can we switch seats?
Yung, now be honest.
Yung, now be honest.
Yung, say something funny.
Yung, say something funny.
10:43, 10:50, something,
10:43, 10:50, something,
50 milligrams?
50 milligrams?
(YUNG SIGHS) But, fair is fair.
(YUNG SIGHS) But, fair is fair.
[all] Hurray! Yeah. We got it.
[all] Hurray! Yeah. We got it.
[horns honking] [Marquess] Ah, this traffic.
[horns honking] [Marquess] Ah, this traffic.
[machine whirring] [crunching]
[machine whirring] [crunching]
[Pigeon screaming] Cannonball!
[Pigeon screaming] Cannonball!
[thunder rumbling] Okay, Ian, listen.
[thunder rumbling] Okay, Ian, listen.
BOTH: Well, why don't you... Oh. (CHUCKLES)
BOTH: Well, why don't you... Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Buckle up. (ENGINE STARTS UP)
Buckle up. (ENGINE STARTS UP)
Buckle up. (ENGINE STARTS UP)
Buckle up. (ENGINE STARTS UP)
Dad, hurry! Oh, my God!
Dad, hurry! Oh, my God!
DEER: Oh, hold tight! MARGARET: Whoa!
DEER: Oh, hold tight! MARGARET: Whoa!
Hey, those are for me! Oh, really?
Hey, those are for me! Oh, really?
Hip hip... [all] Hurray!
Hip hip... [all] Hurray!
Hip hip... [all] Hurray!
Hip hip... [all] Hurray!
Hip hip... [all] Hurray!
Hip hip... [all] Hurray!
Hip hip... [all] Hurray!
Hip hip... [all] Hurray!
Hip hip... [Marquess] Michael!
Hip hip... [Marquess] Michael!
I want to be with you. You're with me right now.
I want to be with you. You're with me right now.
It still is. What are you talking about?
It still is. What are you talking about?
It's my money. Not really.
It's my money. Not really.
MARGARET: Whoa! (BOTH LAUGH)
MARGARET: Whoa! (BOTH LAUGH)
Marquess, slow down! I can't.
Marquess, slow down! I can't.
No, no. I I'm sorry. You go. No, please.
No, no. I I'm sorry. You go. No, please.
Oh, yeah. Then you got $1,981 coming to you
Oh, yeah. Then you got $1,981 coming to you
Okay. Hip hip...
Okay. Hip hip...
Oopsie. Five second rule. [Pigeon] Hey, what the...
Oopsie. Five second rule. [Pigeon] Hey, what the...
Pit and peak. Sorry for interrupting,
Pit and peak. Sorry for interrupting,
right now, just to save time. Thanks.
right now, just to save time. Thanks.
So, it's 11:00? It's probably around 10:40,
So, it's 11:00? It's probably around 10:40,
Tell them what you wished for. I can't.
Tell them what you wished for. I can't.
That's because it's piss. Ugh!
That's because it's piss. Ugh!
The Wishing Well? Yes.
The Wishing Well? Yes.
Well, it's not small anymore. What?
Well, it's not small anymore. What?
What do you mean? [laughs]
What do you mean? [laughs]
What is that? Sriracha sauce.
What is that? Sriracha sauce.
What? Yeah, yeah.
What? Yeah, yeah.
What? Yeah. One day I had
What? Yeah. One day I had
You remember that, Yung? Yeah.
You remember that, Yung? Yeah.
you have to physically go in to the bank. Oh!
you have to physically go in to the bank. Oh!
'Cause I don't have a tiny dick.
'Cause I don't have a tiny dick.
"because all I've been doing is drinking (BLEEP) water." (CHUCKLES)
"because all I've been doing is drinking (BLEEP) water." (CHUCKLES)
"Dear Mike Tyson Mystery Team,
"Dear Mike Tyson Mystery Team,
"Dear Mike Tyson Mystery team,
"Dear Mike Tyson Mystery team,
"Dear, Mike Tyson Mystery Team,
"Dear, Mike Tyson Mystery Team,
"I am seven and a half years old.
"I am seven and a half years old.
"I made a wish on an eyelash and it didn't come true." Ha!
"I made a wish on an eyelash and it didn't come true." Ha!
"I wish that my dad would come home
"I wish that my dad would come home
"it doesn't feel like it's moving at all, because I have to piss,
"it doesn't feel like it's moving at all, because I have to piss,
"Margaret Moses, age seven and a half.
"Margaret Moses, age seven and a half.
"My wish is that all the ****..."
"My wish is that all the ****..."
"Please help, Margaret Moses."
"Please help, Margaret Moses."
"so I can (BLEEP) that whore?"
"so I can (BLEEP) that whore?"
"so we could be a family again."
"so we could be a family again."
"the hospital where my wife is on life support
"the hospital where my wife is on life support
"Yung, what's the exact time right now?"
"Yung, what's the exact time right now?"
(ALL SCREAMING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(BLEEP) you. Okay. So, the bad wishes get caught
(BLEEP) you. Okay. So, the bad wishes get caught
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BUZZING)
(BUZZING)
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)
(FLIES BUZZING)
(FLIES BUZZING)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS) Oh, no!
(GASPS) Oh, no!
(GASPS) There! The Bountiful Bush!
(GASPS) There! The Bountiful Bush!
(HORN BLARING)
(HORN BLARING)
(IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE) Oh! Hi.
(IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE) Oh! Hi.
(POLICE SIREN WAILING)
(POLICE SIREN WAILING)
(SIGHS) Well, looks like we have some time to kill.
(SIGHS) Well, looks like we have some time to kill.
(SNIFFLES) If you'll excuse me, I have a client.
(SNIFFLES) If you'll excuse me, I have a client.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(YAWNS)
(YAWNS)
(YAWNS) I'm gonna take a nap for a bit.
(YAWNS) I'm gonna take a nap for a bit.
[♪♪] Mike Tyson Mysteries Season 04 Episode 02 Episode Title: "Make a Wish and Blow"
[♪♪] Mike Tyson Mysteries Season 04 Episode 02 Episode Title: "Make a Wish and Blow"