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A teacher caught molesting children with crackpot therians.
Alan Adler David pressure lack Julie Axelrod, Shep Sutton Scott McCormick.
And now this.
And people's parents will throw fecal matter down on them from the rooftops. How awful.
And that concludes the list of people who are mean to me in junior high.
Anne Anne Anne. There's going to be wind.
Are you an area high school student interested in the glamorous world of unpaid internships?
Are you serious?
Carter, pewterschmidt
Channel 5 is not responsible for anyone burned, maimed, impaled, or molested during actual internship.
David pressure lack.
Do you think it tickles women when I kiss them?
Doreen, I lost your phone number. We met at the Sky Lounge last night. Please call me.
Fantastic.
Go back and bring it to me with your in it like I asked.
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker.
Greg the weather mime.
Griffin
Ha ha ha.
Hang on a second sweetie. I've gotta call Peter Jennings and reschedule our golf game.
Hello, this is Tom Tucker.
Hello, this is Tom Tucker's evil twin, Todd Tucker, out to destroy his brothers reputation.
Hey kids.
Hey, don't walk away from me high.
Hi Tom Tucker, local news anchor and on my days off an avid golf enthusiast.
Hi.
Hi.
I gotta go.
I guess beggars can't be choosers.
I lost your phone number. We met at the Sky Lounge last night.
I pity the fool who does drugs.
I think I speak for all of us when I say that New York and everyone from there can fornicate themselves with an iron stick.
I think you deserve a spanking.
I'm not trying to seduce you.
I'm sorry, but there's a handsome man in my spoon.
I'm sorry, but there's a handsome man in my spoon. You'll have to come back later.
I'm the Lord Jesus Christ.
I'm the Lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some *******
I'm Tom Tucker.
If so, we'd like to invite you to try out for Channel 5's young anchor program.
In other news.
Is there anything more arousing?
Joe Swanson
Julie Axelrod
Lois Griffin
Meg
New York and everyone from there can fornicate themselves with an iron stick.
No charges will be filed against the employee, but the dinner roll has been taken into police custody.
No no no no no no. I was remembering I accidentally put my shirt on inside out this morning. It's fine now though.
Now back to this breaking news.
Now I'm going back inside to have freaky sex with my prostitute with whom I still have 45 minutes.
OK, it's gonna be cold.
Only slightly, only slightly.
Our top story. The president has been shot.
Pewterschmidt
Please call me.
Quahogs Rhode Island.
Question #2
Recapping our top story.
Remember Mr T says I pity the fool who does drugs.
Rhode Island.
Say, would you like to pick up a handsome man's dry cleaning?
Scott McCormick
So call us now.
So what were you saying about a fashion show?
They have that cartoon sound effect guy que up the then top it off with a boy and if there's time before commercial, be ready with a wah wah wah wah.
This is Tom Tucker.
This just in slave owner descendant Carter Pewterschmidt has paid $20,000 or 2,000,000 pennies in reparations to a local black man.
Tom Tucker
Tom Tucker
Tom Tucker Sounds: Family Guy - Seasons 1, 2, and 3 Sound
Tom Tucker Sounds: Family Guy - Seasons 1, 2, and 3 Sound
Tom Tucker Sounds: Family Guy - Seasons 1, 2, and 3 Sound
Tom Tucker, local news anchor. And on my days off an avid golf enthusiast.
Toy industrialist Jonathan Weed was found dead last night in the home of an employee who claims weed choked on a dinner roll.
Tragedy strikes the nation. The president has been shot.
Tricia takanawa
Very cold.
We met at the Sky Lounge last night.
We're going to get the video camera out and we'll make our own show.
What the hell is in this?
What the hell is in this?
What, yeah, that's yeah.
What's the president doing in this? Casket will tell you right after this.
Wine.
Woah woah woah. Mass media murderer.
Would you consider growing a mustache?
Would you like to pick up a handsome man's dry cleaning?
Wrong, the answer is.
Wrong.
Yes you do.
Yes.
Yes.
You can't possibly expect me to believe this.
You do because it's normal.
You know what we're going to do?