The Rocker (2008) Soundboard Edit

A billion times bigger than you! No!

A few too many flirtinis?

All right. Okay

AMELIA: Mattie? MATT: Hi.

And I'm not thrilled with letting Curtis go without me being there...

Back from when we were American. Look, it's Fish.

Back it up, back it up

Been busy?

Bitter.

Blessing in disguise

But I don't trust your uncle.

Can you hold, please?

Cheers, man. Come on, for old times' sake.

Come on.

DAVID: All right. Easy. Yeah.

DAVID: Not bad, huh? D.V. coming through for you. Meeting your heroes.

Don't wait up for me, okay, because I'm gonna be:

Dude. Wake up

First groupies.

Fish has a history with them. We can't do that.

Fish, dude, so glad to have you back, bro. For real, for real.

FISH: Hello. KIM: Hello

FISH: Hey.

FISH: I just wanna say on behalf of the band...

FISH: Right?

FISH: Woo hoo! Beaded curtains.

Get out there and do something.

Good night.

Great, great.

Here he comes, with his mom

Here we go

Hey, can you sign my shirt?

Hey, fam. I got here as fast as I could

Hey, give me the heavy metal devil horns.

Hey.

Hi.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

HOST: Let's give a warm Dayton welcome to A.D.

How do you come up with those rhymes? Busted, trusted.

I do. I've used it for other things, but you're welcome to it.

I don't know her name. I've seen her at our shows...

I don't know how you come up with it. I like this part.

I got a bug.

I have a new band. It's called A..

I have let it go..

I have no idea. Let's take five.

I just wanted to point out that I'm actually from England.

I just...

I know that guy.

I know that we've been through this a whole bunch..

I think...

I thought you were gonna be the responsible adult.

I wanna say I think it's super awesome...

I was never so much of a songwriter. More of a name the band kind of guy.

I would love to spend nine months inside you.

I'm calling the head of the label now. Tell him where he can stick his nephew

I'm gonna be 10 times bigger than you! No!

I'm gonna call my people, I'm gonna come back and holler at you.

I'm gonna have to ask you to pack your things and leave

I'm not letting my mom go out with a joke.

In fact, to do anything for the rest of the summer.

In post it's all gonna be forward.

It's a fun video. We're laughing at it, laughing...

It's a live mike.

It's like, Mom, Dad, I really wanna go on this church retreat...

It's uncomfortably hot down here.

Jesus Christ.

KIM: Okay, let's go.

Know what, guys? I'm really not in the mood to practice.

Look

Look at him. It's like Abercrombie's making people now.

Maybe girls like me just don't belong in music videos.

Move it, Moby Dick

Mr. Gator here. All you bear bait headed north...

MySpace is throwing you guys a party, and I don't wanna be late.

Name?

No way. That's awesome

No, no, no. What's a PILS?

No, no, no. you are more of a MILMSLT.

Now lock them with me.

Of course. Just ditch me, like everyone else has

Oh, hi. Is this the Hi Fi Club? I played there in 1985 with Vesuvius.

Oh, no.

Oh, thanks.

Oh!

Okay, guys, follow me.

Okay, I understand. Nice. Nicely done. Here's the plan, okay?

One, two, one, two, three, four...

Probably 211

Put your hands together for this one

Robert. Fishman

So pick your spot, take your breath, and move a tiny bit.

So what do you say we lay down tracks...

Some stupid practice in our garage.

Start the van, man

Technically, I'm at the library for the next 10 minutes.

Testes, one, two, testes, check, check.

Thank you.

That could be a coincidence.

That did sound pretty good.

That's definitely gonna be in a book about us

The wellspring, huh?

Then you better find a new drummer.

They have free food.

This is my apartment.

This is..

Tiny bit means tiny bit, not big bit or regular bit. Tiny bit. Move a tiny bit.

We don't have a choice. We gotta go up there

We gotta go down, give some face time to the fans, then get out of here, okay?

We gotta shake him loose, man!

We love you, Cleveland! Whoo!

We're gonna be opening up for Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductees...

We're in the joint.

We're on tour

We're rehearsing now. That means you should move.

What does it feel like to destroy a hotel room?

What have you been doing since then?

What is wrong with me? All my life, people kept saying, Grow up

What is your name?

What say?

What? You've never seen anyone kick over their drums in anger...

Whoa.

WOMAN: I love your new tat. MAN: I just got it done.

WOMAN: I'll validate you on your way out.

WOMAN: Robert, I like your résumé.

Woo hoo!

Woo hoo! Yes.

Y'all just got asked to open for Vesuvius...

Yeah, hold on a sec. Robert!

Yeah! Now we got a party!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I get that. That makes sense.

Yes, do you have auditions? Thank you

Yes.

You can't tell me you've seen anything like that

You killed him

You know, I've thought about this moment...

You nailed that key change on Too Far.

You're like Vin Diesel wrapped in a Jeremy Piven pie.

You're telling me Robert Fishman, a.k.a. Fish...

Your mouth and your body.

Your witchy, witchy ways won't work on me.

Could you sign this, please? Oh, yeah.

Dudes! Yeah! Yeah!

Ever heard of cell phones? Ever heard of brain cancer?

Gone... That's what I did. Yeah, but you sing the harmony.

Great show. CURTIS: Yeah, you too.

Ha. This works? AMELIA: Yeah

He ran like a gazelle, right? I was gonna say that

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Good night. Good night.

Hi. Are you okay? Oh, super duper. I am just doing..

Let's go. I'm not going home.

Matt. Yeah, you okay?

More importantly, how were my moves? Those moves.

Mosh pit! Mosh?

Night, guys. DETECTIVE: Night, Fish.

Oh, wow. Yellow. Yeah. Mm hm. Mm hm.

Oh! Oh, wow.

Oh! MATT: It's not a mike, Uncle Rob.

They're lip synching. They're lip synching.

Totally overproduced. Really? Okay, look. Rob.

Wait. What? Tell them what you did, Jeremy

We did it, guys. All right. We totally did it

We're gonna be rich! I'm gonna get a Fiero

Well... I'm gonna go call Amelia and Curtis.

What is wrong with you? Hey, Kim. Hey, Lisa.

What? A gig?

Yeah! Yeah!

You're being a baby. No, I'm not. I'm being realistic

...and I've had more than enough pain for one lifetime

...and the ancient crazy faces making rocker

...and you rocked

...are gonna play the Q Arena

...but blink like a normal person or don't blink.

...but you cannot take away the dream.

...every day for the last 20 years...

...for partying till my nuts catch fire.

...grab one of those annoying little girls hanging on Curtis.

...have a great show.

...Matt says that if I'd asked you in a nicer way to open for Vesuvius...

...my family..

...the mighty Vesuvius.

[ALL CHATTERING]

[ALL LAUGHING AND WHOOPING]

[AZIZ GRUNTING]

[BUS HORN HONKS]

[CAR HORNS HONKING]

[CHUCKLES]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[DAVID LAUGHS]

[FISH YELLING]

[GRUNTS]

[HUMMER DRIVES AWAY]

[PLAYING LIVING FOR THE FIRST TIME]

[PLAYING GREAT ESCAPE]

[PLAYING PROMISED LAND]

[PLAYING TOO FAR]

[POMPEll NIGHTS PLAYING ON COMPUTER]

[SINGING TOMORROW NEVER COMES]

[SINGING]

[SINGING]

[SINGS FORWARD AND BACKWARDS]

[SIREN WAILS]

[SIRENS APPROACHING]

[SNORING]

[TOMORROW NEVER COMES PLAYING ON TV]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

[YELLS]