Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - Season 1 Edit

A cab? Really?

A disease runs in my family,

A few others like me, though.

A full six weeks before it even happened.

A guy predicting his own death?

A hammerhead shark killed Patrick Spring?

A holistic...

A kitten?

A little bit at a time when it happened to you?

A man was bitten in half.

A missing girl, her murdered father,

A saw or something?

A what?

A what?

About the fundamental interconnectedness of all things.

About what?

About what?

Accepted? No? Yes? Doesn't matter.

Ah, of course.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! You're about to forward a theory! Excellent! I'm listening!

Aha, that's why I brought... this.

Ain't nobody coming, chump.

All aggressive action against the primary.

All cases are connected.

All done down here, Ed.

All of them.

All right, Creepy,

All right, I was halfway through programming that...

All right, I was halfway through programming that...

All right? This is just a speed bump.

All right. All right. All right. Let's go.

All that matters is the girl.

All these horrible things,

Allow us to help you with that.

Already tried. No answer.

Also, you're fired.

Always turning off and on again,

Amanda, do you wanna jam?

An accomplice,

An animal attack

An assistant.

An interesting person.

And almost there already,

And also surprisingly incapable.

And before you ask, no,

And cannot be reached for comment at this time.

And currently, we only have budget to surveil one...

And Dirk Gently. Full house.

And do me a favor,

And he hired me, well above my normal rate,

And he wouldn't let it go,

And help you with this,

And how am I involved in any of this?

And hypnotizing dogs into believing they're specific humans.

And I didn't think I'd be able to get an advance at the hotel,

And I don't like it.

And I get dragged right up next to them.

And I just had a hunch you might be important.

And I know I promised you, but there have been some...

And I was right.

And I'll get you a glass of water?

And I'll tell you another thing.

And I'm a suspect in multiple homicides.

And I'm already in deep crap with them,

And if I killed them, they were my target.

And if that's the case,

And living a lie,

And look at all this stuff.

And made my tongue do a weird move and say stuff wrong.

And my mom and dad were begging me to go

And now he's dead.

And recover them from the initial breach.

And say what?

And so interesting.

And the house was even more mysterious,

And the rarer, sexier coinky dinks.

And then I'm a piranha.

And then it will just...

And then suddenly, today,

And then we can...

And they're rarely wrong, but also rarely completely right.

And this man, Gordon Rimmer, it's all very suspicious.

And this one's still alive?

And we are going to purify the situation.

And we learned about that rock star, Lux DuJour.

And we'll pick another winner tonight.

And what the hell happened? Who shot Fred?

And worse is that you failed to keep the subjects contained

And yet, here you are, assisting.

And you actually have hallucinations that feel real,

And you have no idea when the key left your possession?

And you killed Red!

And you seriously think that's just a coincidence?

And you were the person hired to protect him.

And you will be compensated,

And you'll be able to...

And you're already acting like an assistant.

And you're certain the person you saw was Lydia Spring?

And your life became a swirl of interesting activity?

And, in most cases, very painful.

And, undoubtedly, more pieces falling into place...

And... and we have to go to the animal transfer unit.

Animal attack?

Animal?

Announcing tonight's

Answer the question.

Any particular reason you want that, Todd?

Anybody find that kitten?

Apparently, he sold a really incredible amount of drugs

Are often much more subtle and complex

Are you a historian?

Are you aware you just gave every possible response to that question?

Are you friends?

Are you insane?

Are you Lydia Spring?

Are you taking credit for me finding a lottery ticket?

Aren't usually aggressive towards humans.

As a type of severance?

As being detectable in the pattern and web of the whole.

As long as they have lightning.

Asshole!

Assholes.

At least nobody who ain't supposed to die.

At this point, I can't explain why I was there,

Aw...

Aw...

B But you're okay, right?

Back off!

Bad news delivery!

Because he was crazy.

Because I don't know who that is!

Because I'm trying to do the right thing,

Been all over the news,

Before we tear it out your face and throw it in a dumpster!

Before we were trapped in that guy's house,

Besides, we have to investigate the house.

Between you, me, and the Patrick Spring murder case?

Big D is gonna take care of business!

Bitten in half?

Bodies? What bodies?

Both, yes, both. Why one? That doesn't make sense.

Break the pattern.

Breaking down, and then fixing themselves.

Breathing could feel like drowning.

Breathing.

Bring me the dog

Bring me the dog!

Bring them back in yourself, because right now,

Buddy, get out.

But I guess the CIA must've told them not to,

But I know you'll just be there now, so it's like...

But if he shoots her, throw the dog off the bridge.

But if no private detective looks like a private detective,

But it seems like he knew where the cameras were.

But it's possible we're going to die.

But that just sounds like a murder spree.

But that's...

But Todd had it, and he got better,

But we can still save Lydia, yeah? That's our job.

But we did manage to pull this.

But we've got a case to solve.

But you just said...

But you just said...

But you were right! That's Lydia Spring!

But you will investigate,

But... you don't need gas.

But... your friend, or your boss,

By the time I'd recovered,

By the victim.

By... other people?

Bye bye, you thieving mother...

Bye.

Call a cab for me or something like that?

Call it a hunch.

Call the crime scene guys to come and clean it up.

Can have the biggest consequences.

Can I kill him now?

Can we just be quiet

Can you just

Can't open the garage door. Too loud.

Careful, it's not my car.

Cars are like that,

Check out the penthouse.

Cleaning up, or

Clearly, I can. I just did...

Coincidence!

Come here...

Come on, Dirk, please go!

Come on, relax, enjoy the ride.

Come on!

Confirmed, taking the shot.

Cool. I'll be there in a minute.

Could be a coincidence.

Couldn't you just...

Crap.

Crazier than the dog, something else. I don't know how to describe it, but...

Crazy to see it up close, right?

Cut that up too.

Cut you up,

Damn it.

Did something happen on the 18th floor?

Did that happen?

Did you find a kitten?

Did you find a kitten?

Did you just dodge a bullet?

Did you just kill someone?

Did you not hear my voice?

Did you see any kind of an animal?

Did you see how I snuck up?

Did you see it come out of the water?

Did you, Todd?

Didn't Lux DuJour disappear?

Didn't you say that it started out feeling better

Didn't you say you lost your job?

Didn't you say you were from Missing Persons?

Ding dong.

Dirk Gently, you are a dead man!

Dirk Gently. Todd Brotzman.

Dirk, shut up!

Dirk!

Dirk?

Dirk...

Dirk... Okay, hi. Sorry.

Divorce is hard, Weedle, let me tell you.

Do I have to leave?

Do I look like I know how much you paid me?

Do I take the shot?

Do not leave town.

Do you attack everyone who comes in here.

Do you attack everyone who comes in here.

Do you have any friends who can come by

Do you want to know why Dorian wanted the rent?

Doesn't mean it isn't new.

Doesn't mean you don't choose your moves.

Dogs? Cats? I don't know.

Doing this to you?

Don't be silly.

Don't get me wrong...

Don't leave town.

Don't leave town.

Don't run any more red lights.

Don't say hello?

Don't take the shot...

Don't tell me what you did or didn't do!

Don't worry. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Don't you say a word. I don't want to hear...

Don't you understand?

Dorian, just listen, I...

Dorian!

Dorian! Dorian, stop! Stop!

Dorian's gonna kick your ass!

Eliminated.

England.

Ergo, vis a vis, I forward a theory!

Estevez and Zimmerfield.

Estevez.

Even if you don't mean to,

Even if you don't mean to,

Even if you haven't technically earned it.

Even though you're not necessarily

Every choice is a new beginning.

Every second is a chance to change your life.

Every time I see her,

Everything changed,

Everything I own...

Everything is chaos, but it...

Everything is connected.

Everything you want in this world

Everything's fine.

Excellent work as my assistant.

Except that's not what you said.

Except, come on,

Eyebrows.

Fairly messed up.

Farah, don't it's a...

Farah, help me.

Farah, I need help, please.

Farah. Help me, Farah.

Fascinating history, that place.

FBI?

Find me!

Find me!

First things first

For a second?

For now.

For now.

For people who still watch the news,

For testing.

For the 18th floor?

For the drive?

Found something.

From you right now.

Get back!

Get in the car.

Get on your knees.

Get out of the way.

Get up on the roof where I can see you till I get back.

Get what you deserve...

Girlfriend.

Give me the dog,

Give us the her

Give you two guys a break.

Go ahead.

Go away!!

Go sit over there! God!

God, how is your place so much nicer than mine?

God, I am so sorry.

God.

God.

Goddammit!

Good morning, Buttercup!

Good news is FBI had surveillance on Dorian Ozman's house.

Got it.

Got the dog.

Ha! God, how crazy was that?

Ha! See? I told you the dog was important!

Hang on!

Hang on.

Hang out... with me?

Has, for the most part, been humdrum and inane,

Have you checked out the penthouse?

Have you ever actually solved a case?

Have you noticed an acceleration of strangeness

Have your hands full in Missing Persons.

He called the human Lydia "Rapunzel,"

He came to me in a dream I had.

He did notice,

He didn't mention having any guys, like, following you,

He has a gun!

He is dead.

He is.

He shot himself in the head!

He told me he was going to cut my face off.

He's helping us!

Headed up the stairs right now to wreck your apartment!

Heavy tattoos all over.

Heiress Lydia Spring,

Hell, you must be the tenth couple we've found out here.

Hello, Amanda!

Hello, friend.

Hello!

Hello?

Help me!

Help me!

Help!

Here, quick, give me the lottery ticket.

Hermano Palacios?

Hey,

Hey, buddy!

Hey, he only shot at me.

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Where are you going?

Hey, hi ho hey, get up on the roof.

Hey, hi.

Hey, it's Todd. Leave a message.

Hey, man, snap out of it.

Hey, sis, it's me.

Hey, Todd, it's me.

Hey, uh...

Hey, you think I like this?

Hey, you're not supposed to be down here.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! What the... Hey!

Hi ya!

Hi ya!

Hi, Farah.

Hi!

Hi!

Hi!

Him being dead seems to me an oversight on your part.

His energy...

Hmm?

Ho... ly...

Holy shit, this is when it happened. That means...

Holy shit, this is when it happened. That means...

Holy shit! It's going down.

Holy shit. That's the guy. That's... that's Todd Brotzman.

Homicide said the guy in the bed was torn in half.

Hours ago, in the bushes,

How about the other guy? What happened to him?

How big are his teeth?

How come nobody's come looking for you?

How did he get your number?

How did you even hear about the shark?

How did you get in here?

How did you pay for treatment? You don't seem...

How did you...

How do you even know about the shark?

How do you figure that?

How does a private detective know what it is that he shouldn't look like?

How is that possible?

How was Patrick Spring in two places at once?

How would you like to be a secret agent?

How's it going with Sammy?

How've you survived this long?

Huh, but... What?

Hurry up!

I am coming to get you, okay!

I am intrinsically connected to the specific case.

I am my own messed up person,

I am not investigating anything!

I am not your Watson, asshole!

I am the Supreme Soul! I am running things!

I barely get out of the house anymore.

I believe that we have an undetermined threat out there,

I believe that we have an undetermined threat out there,

I can already tell we've got oodles in common.

I can feel it.

I can fix my apartment, my car...

I can pay for Amanda's medication.

I can spend a whole day without even trying.

I can... try and start to... fix things.

I can't be hurt, universe won't allow it.

I can't even believe you did this to yourself!

I couldn't have known. How could I have known?

I did find one thing kind of interesting, though.

I did.

I didn't decide anything.

I didn't even ask you to do that,

I do a lot of things, and then later I'm like...

I do not concern myself

I do power systems.

I don't care that Rainey is dead!

I don't care where she is, 'cause that's not my problem.

I don't do your whole deal

I don't have my apartment,

I don't know her.

I don't know if I have the money right now,

I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't been there.

I don't know what it was.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know why I was startled, actually.

I don't know yet.

I don't know. They had these.

I don't think it means anything.

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

I don't understand.

I don't want to be a part of this.

I dunno. I never got to meet 'em.

I found a very compelling piece of evidence.

I gave you your money, Dorian.

I guarantee it.

I guess that must mean you're special too.

I hate men.

I hate voicemail!

I have a lot of feelings about a lot of things,

I have had enough of this shit.

I have killed a lot of people, though.

I have no prospects.

I have nothing.

I have Pararibulitus.

I have the primary and the secondary in my sights.

I have to tell you, okay?

I have your phone, remember?

I have zero money,

I haven't eaten for over 24 hours.

I heard about 'em, though.

I I brought...

I I I did my duty.

I just need to take my meds and eat healthy.

I just opened a door.

I just want to go cash in my lottery ticket,

I just...

I just...

I just...

I just...

I kill whoever I feel like killing all day,

I knew it.

I know that, but you know what else?

I know what you did.

I know you're going through some stuff, so...

I let everyone down.

I lied, though.

I live here now, and...

I live here now.

I live here.

I mean, how do you even investigate anything

I mean, I'm... I'm on my way.

I mean, maybe they're part of the same group.

I mean, surely, her disappearance and his murder

I mean, you could just walk away,

I mean...

I mean...

I need you to get up to 745...

I need you to open this door right now.

I need you to work with me, I wanted to discuss the case.

I now literally have no money.

I paid you the rent, I paid you yesterday!

I paid you, Dorian!

I really think someone should open up this door right now.

I said they think it's connected to something bigger.

I saw a human face on the dog!

I saw something...

I see the solution to each problem

I snuck around the back of his house

I snuck out.

I swear to God, I will kill you!

I then will eventually solve the mystery

I think about them sometimes.

I think it might bother me more later,

I think it was, in sight of hind,

I think they were just transferred out to an FBI lab this morning

I think we'll be great friends.

I think you're overestimating your ability to...

I thought he'd be too cracked out to notice,

I thought this was a Major Crimes case.

I thought we were clear that the rifle isn't necessary.

I thought you said this wasn't your car.

I told you

I told you

I vaguely recall it being a big story at the time.

I want my money today!

I want my money!

I want to go home,

I warned you!

I was afraid because I knew Amanda needed her meds,

I was hired to investigate it...

I was in college.

I was investigating your building for other reasons,

I was trained as a ninja by the CIA.

I was wondering if I could get my check a little early this month?

I wasn't here yet.

I won't.

I would just be a burden on them.

I would never have done this alone!

I wouldn't have taken the case

I, uh...

I, um...

I. Got. You.

I... I don't know.

I... I don't know.

I'd say he's a person of interest in ours, right?

I'll be honest, it doesn't look great, Todd.

I'll be out of here in an hour.

I'll be sleeping here tonight.

I'll call the police.

I'll figure it out.

I'll figure something out, okay?

I'll give you a ride.

I'll kill her! I swear!

I'm a burden on everyone.

I'm a detective,

I'm a detective, a holistic detective,

I'm a detective. I'm on a case.

I'm a murder suspect, okay? I'm broke...

I'm a private detective.

I'm a... a leaf in the stream of creation,

I'm Amanda.

I'm an assassin.

I'm at the Ridgely Building in Springsborough...

I'm coming to get you, Lydia.

I'm coming to get you!

I'm coming up tomorrow.

I'm coming!

I'm Dirk Gently.

I'm done, so you handle it now.

I'm figuring it out. Step by step

I'm from a totally different place.

I'm going as fast as I can, okay!

I'm gonna get past it, and I'm gonna get you the money,

I'm homeless,

I'm in trouble.

I'm just trying to be helpful. It's not...

I'm like a leaf in the stream of creation...

I'm listening.

I'm not available for side kicking

I'm not from here,

I'm not sure yet.

I'm not talking to you through the comm. I'm talking right to you.

I'm not with the CIA anymore.

I'm not your assistant.

I'm not...

I'm on a case.

I'm on my way, is where I am,

I'm on my way.

I'm right here!

I'm sick of the games!

I'm so bored.

I'm sorry about what I did before.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm the only coroner on duty today.

I'm sorry. That's terrible.

I'm special that way.

I'm still here.

I'm sure it'll start up again when it's meant to.

I'm trying to decide whether you're a clue,

I'm very glad you asked me that, Mister...

I'm very glad you asked me that, Todd.

I'm very good at getting in to situations.

I'm wildly aware.

I'm Wilson.

I'm...

I've been awake.

I've been trying to find Monkey Mask on the tapes,

I've got a good feeling about this.

I've got a shot.

I've got a shot.

I've never killed the wrong person.

I've often found I have more trouble getting out...

I've seen in your apartment.

Idiots.

If I don't solve them,

If I were you, I wouldn't leave town.

If the car turned off here, this is where the car turned off.

If the disease is in you,

If you did?

If you don't use any investigative... stuff?

If you need anything, my name is...

If you or anyone you know has information

If you screw with me again...

Illegal stuff.

In a moment of desperation.

In a stairwell adjacent to the penthouse.

In fact, it's quite the opposite condition

In the hotel. It's a...

In the penthouse,

In the stream of creation.

In two separate cases.

In your life as of late?

Interconnectedness!

Interesting.

Into being my combination assistant and best friend.

Is everything okay over there?

Is it bad, or...

Is it that important

Is much more, you know,

Is that blood on it?

Is that the woman?

Is that your key?

Is the guy we're tailing...

Is there any way you can give me my final check today,

Is there any way you could get the security footage

Is there...

Isn't it great that we're out here in nature together?

Isn't this your job?

It all seems very, you know...

It began when I was 21 years old

It causes your brain to misinterpret certain inputs,

It has for five generations.

It has to be, right?

It is connected.

It is strange in here.

It it's... That is not what's happening.

It just seemed like the right thing to do.

It makes it hard to not be scared all the time.

It said that we have to prevent

It was good of you to contact me, Todd.

It was good you decided to come with me.

It went weird

It's a nerve disease.

It's a very good machine.

It's all just nature.

It's always a day, right?

It's always...

It's an hour away.

It's complicated.

It's complicated. It's very complicated.

It's complicated...

It's Dirk Gently.

It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine.

It's good of you to help.

It's hard to hear you through the comm in my ear.

It's hard to keep friends when you can't go outside

It's in control. Everything's gonna be fine.

It's just you, and you were already here.

It's kind of a funny story...

It's like becoming a whole other person.

It's like there's always something ready

It's mostly just screaming and begging.

It's never too late.

It's nice to listen to somebody else talk.

It's not like you're paying me that much anyway.

It's okay. It's okay.

It's only for 10 grand.

It's synchronized?

It's the two guys from the hotel. They're obviously in on it

It's this carburetor. I think I can fix it up,

It's, uh...

Jesus Christ!

Jesus, you gotta be kiddin' me.

Just because you know you're playing a game

Just call the police.

Just go back to the car.

Just let her go now!

Just shut up!

Just... just bring me the dog!

Keep the Hallmark card.

Ken, you're a riot.

Late to work, late getting to the penthouse, no key.

Later, hmm?

Later, yes.

Lay here,

Leave me alone.

Less than one week later, he's dead?

Let the woman go.

Let's go!

Let's go...

Let's roll.

Let's...

Life endlessly turning inward.

Lightning strike.

Like a lot of little pieces adding up to me raising my eyebrows like...

Like bite marks on the ceiling?

Like bite marks on the ceiling.

Like crazy brave. Or maybe just stupid, but wow.

Like that.

Like the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs.

Like... an animal, or a weapon?

Listen, Dirk, you seem like a nice guy.

Listen, I am a person of varied intuitions.

Listen, I need the money.

Listen, I'm not ignoring you,

Lock and load.

Look at this. This road's empty.

Look who it is.

Look,

Look, but people, organizations, individuals,

Look, I have to go. Okay?

Look, I'm just...

Look, it's not easy doing this under pressure.

Look, man, you're the one that's in danger, okay?

Look, they hit me up online,

Look, Todd, I need you to get up to 745 right away.

Looks like our suspect's undergone a profound change in attitude.

Lot more people talking to me back then.

Lots of animals in this case, it seems.

Lux DuJour sucks, and I'm getting out of here now.

Lydia Spring is a missing person.

Lydia, what kind of trouble are you in?

Lydia!

Lydia!

M Maybe. I don't know.

Make sure he comes back with my money!

Man!

Maybe he's in there!

Maybe I have two jobs!

Maybe I'm a cab driver.

Maybe it'll keep getting better.

Maybe Major Crimes should take a crack at it,

Maybe they can help you.

Me and Chris and all the stuff I own

Meeting up with another guy, who is also being tailed,

Men with tattoos,

Merely by just kind of doing whatever.

Might naturally suppose.

Missing Persons was actually onto something.

Missing persons?

Missing persons.

Missing Persons. We had an appointment this morning.

Mistakes were made.

Mm hmm!

Mm? What are you talking about?

Money won't be a problem for you soon, Todd.

Money!

Money!

More of an acquaintance, really.

Mother...

Move out!

Must've been the CIA, always getting me out of things.

My 600 bucks!

My life sucks.

My primary method of investigation is to follow someone

My sister's house, okay?

My treatments had pretty much depleted all their savings.

My...

Nathan!

Need a ride?

New car.

Nice! Okay. A mouse, I'm a mouse.

No chess, no checkers, no monopoly!

No one does.

No one.

No, because I stole it from him.

No, but uniforms found a hole in a wall

No, I didn't say that, actually.

No, I I misplaced it.

No, I mean, it was a little better today.

No, I was just...

No, I...

No, I...

No, I...

No, I'm a holistic assassin.

No, it's going to be beautiful.

No, it's just a coincidence.

No, it's too late, nobody makes a fool out of me!

No, just leave me alone.

No, just shut up. You never shut up!

No, my cards, all of them. Self defense.

No, never mind. Never mind.

No, no, no, no, no. She stays with us.

No, no, no!

No, no, no. Wait, wait...

No, they aren't.

No, Todd, sometimes when things happen, they don't happen.

No, we don't

No, you lied to me.

No, you shut up!

No, you won't. You know why?

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No!

No! Me "What the hell?"

No! Silence! No!

No! Stay away!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. Bullet dodged me.

No. It's going to be a beautiful thing, you'll see.

No. Very busy.

No. You wouldn't. Or won't. Die. Nobody's gonna die ever!

No...

Nobody's called. It's been over a day now.

None of your business.

None.

Nonsense. This is the perfect opportunity

Nope. We even checked the lightning rods.

Not good at all.

Not good.

Not one bit.

Not...

Not... to... day!

Nothing is also connected.

Nothing.

Now missing for over four days...

Now that I've told you you're working the case,

Now we have potentially dangerous individuals at large...

Now you're gonna get...

Now, we follow up on this,

Now...

Of course, of course, of course, of course.

Of course.

Of Sphyrna mokarran.

Of the one you would like him to be in.

Of uncommonly specific dog hypnotists?

Oh dear.

Oh, and thank you for covering for me the other day.

Oh, bloody hell, is that what that means?

Oh, damn, we're really living on the edge here, man.

Oh, God!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, it's a big speed bump. Yeah, thanks, Tips.

Oh, it's no problem.

Oh, it's the one from the crime scene. The one everyone's been looking for.

Oh, Mr. Palacios...

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Jesus Christ!

Oh, my name is Dirk Gently.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, right, I was talking to him this morning.

Oh, they're gone.

Oh, yeah, we're going to do something about it.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah? Who?

Oh.

Oh. Okay.

Oh...

Okay, but then we can talk about the check?

Okay, I'm on my way.

Okay, no.

Okay, okay, okay, is there any way, please,

Okay, well, I think you're an insane person,

Okay?

Okay? And then what about...

Okay? I'd never seen anything like it.

Okay? I'm an electrician, technically,

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. If you say so.

Okay. Lockers.

Okay...

Okay... Zed,

On something I am not involved with!

On the whereabouts of Lydia Spring,

Once hired,

One we released from his body, the other still lives.

Only constants are me and gravity.

Only constants are me and gravity.

Only Zimmerfield.

Ooh.

Open this door.

Open this door.

Or an assistant.

Or anything like that, did he?

Or could I just sit here for a second?

Or getting hired.

Or he was already staying in the hotel.

Or I'll kill her!

Or perhaps a group,

Or we'll throw the dog off the bridge!

Or your acquaintance, or the detective guy...

Or, not nice, but you seem like a guy, okay?

Others like you? Assassins?

Our goal is to observe and protect the primary.

Our parents.

Out into the universe.

Over 30 of them.

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

Ow! Ah!

Ow! I... Ah hah!

Patrick Spring always rolled with bodyguards.

Patrick Spring is dead,

Patrick Spring, the rich guy?

Patrick Spring.

Paw prints? Like a dog?

Perhaps a series of intense or extraordinary events,

Perhaps every day before now

Permanently,

Plates came up military.

Please contact the number below.

Please hurry.

Please, just go!

Please!

Please...

Plus, I've never worked with this kind of rigging before!

Pounds to the dollar, I think. Exchange rate. Maths.

Practical?

Pretty interesting stuff.

Probable ties to an ongoing missing persons case...

Probable.

Probably not.

Probably should've seen this one coming.

Project "Black Wing."

Provisional?

Put that down...

Rainey is not the Supreme Soul!

Rapunzel, what the hell are you doing in there?

Rapunzel, what the...

Rapunzel!

Rather than a murder as was initially reported,

Really?

Remains a person of interest in your case,

Remains undisclosed at this time.

Remember when we were little,

Request backup at 515 Ridgely Lane.

Rich girl gets in a fight with her father, goes missing,

Right up until I find

Right, but any day that it would've happened

Right, but that is a woman.

Right, but where are you going?

Right, but where are you going?

Right? That too!

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right. Her.

Right... now.

Ring the bell.

Run!

Scene techs are saying the death looks like an accident.

Screw this.

Seattle police have ruled

Seattle?

Security tapes are badly scrambled due to power fluctuations,

See anything weird this morning, did you, Mr. Brotzman?

See if we can trace his progress to the room,

See, I can't do it. Only Zimmerfield can.

See, I told you that the security footage was badly scrambled.

See?

See?

Seems like a weird thing to do, but live and let live...

Seems like a weird thing to do, but live and let live...

Sell the car for pieces...

Seriously.

Sfeerna mokoron?

Shallow depression, and boring, boring sex?

She broke the nose.

She clearly wanted to be there.

She looks at me, and thinks...

She seems real.

She thinks maybe she can get better, too.

She wasn't hypnotized, she wasn't tied up,

She's my sister.

She's not saying anything, Ed.

She's right here with me now.

Shh!

Shh!

Shh.

Shit, Alpha is in danger.

Shit, sorry.

Shit!

Shit!

Shit! He's right!

Shit.

Shit. Go, go, go!

Shots fired! Shots fired! Let's go! Let's go!

Shouldn't we call the police? I mean...

Shut up!

Shut up. I don't care. Go away.

Shut your hole!

Smoke and mirrors, man.

So as long as your boy, Todd Brotzman,

So everything's great.

So I left a note and we went and hit the road

So I paid him in cash,

So just...

So just...

So just...

So just... just call them. Do it. Okay?

So much money, and then...

So then why do you stay in the house?

So when the cops said "anything suspicious..."

So when they said that they have your friend,

So you're saying there was no transfer?

So, I'm not a suspect in anything?

So, then who told you to break into my apartment?

So, what are looking for,

So, you pay for her medication?

So...

So...

So... Who is Dirk Gently?

Some kind of pulse blew up the whole deal.

Some people like to cut other people.

Some people will die, but that's just nature.

Somebody!

Someone died tonight.

Someone is screwing with us.

Someone should open up...

Someone will call.

Someone... Someone is watching us.

Something to do with the weapon.

Something.

Something.

Something's for real actually goin' down.

Soon.

Sorry it took longer than I thought.

Sorry that's a lie, too.

Sorry.

Sources within the police department

Speaking of, I should really kill this guy.

Starting with Dirk Gently

Stay frosty.

Still exists, with or without him,

Stop it... Jesus! With the...

Stop the bus!

Stop the bus!

Stop, stop, stop, stop!

Stop!

Stop!

Stupid mouse.

Stupid traitor bed!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Subtle

Sure. Tons.

Surely...

Suspicious?

Take control of your life, Todd.

Take me somewhere new.

Take mine.

Take the car? What? What? Why?

Take your time.

Technically, we're winning!

Television!

Tell me you have some kind of way out of this.

Telltale pieces of pocket fluff and inane footprints.

Than we, with our rough and ready understanding of the physical world

Than you would otherwise think.

Thank you for coming, Colonel.

Thank you for helping me through that.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks for tellin' me all that, Ken.

Thanks.

That doesn't bother you?

That doesn't make us their bitch, right?

That feels unnecessarily rude.

That I killed at the power station?

That is a fact, yes.

That it's... bad?

That means...

That much is obvious.

That seems practical to me.

That seems suspicious.

That should have been very super easy...

That sounds, you know, insane.

That specializes in hypnotizing humans into believing they're specific dogs,

That there is another connection, however evanescent,

That was my last $300.

That was nice.

That we haven't tried to bring in suspects after 15 years.

That we haven't tried to bring in suspects after 15 years.

That would be ridiculous.

That you felt the need to argue about it?

That you not be identified as my friend,

That'll do it.

That's a reality we're going to accept.

That's him, yeah.

That's him. The man.

That's mine!

That's not him.

That's one of the first rules of private detection.

That's our case.

That's right,

That's right, every moment is an opportunity.

That's right.

That's the man? The... guy?

That's the most anybody's said to me in over five years.

That's the nature of the situation,

That's true.

That's what I do, I kill people.

The "do not leave town" order is still in effect.

The address was on the tag.

The bite wounds are a match to the teeth of an adult specimen

The car turned off.

The cases are connected.

The cases I end up on...

The connection between cause and effect

The connections between causes and effects

The corpses... The ones who weren't Spring...

The death of billionaire entrepreneur Patrick Spring and several others

The Death of Patrick Spring.

The dog is important.

The dog, the shark, the kitten...

The fact is, Ma'am, there's a reason

The FBI didn't...

The former Black Wing subjects will be eliminated,

The giraffe and the gorilla.

The Great Hammerhead Shark.

The gum went weird in my mouth, sir.

The guys at the hotel,

The incident at the Perriman Grand?

The instant you take control, interesting things will happen.

The man, I assume, the bad man.

The mission parameters?

The one currently going by the name "Dirk Gently."

The other guy had his arm torn off.

The other guy! The other guy! Where's the other guy?

The other guy? Dirk Gently?

The other guys,

The Patrick Spring murder case.

The police will determine the proper levels of antagonism

The roof?

The Rowdy 3!

The smallest decisions in life

The Spring family is notoriously reclusive

The tattooed men, one was bitten in half.

The term "holistic" refers to my convictions

The universe will make you a part of this

The universe would congratulate you for helping me solve

The universe would congratulate you for helping me solve

The what?

The window, obviously.

The winning numbers are...

The world will lead me where I need to go.

The world will take me where I need to go.

Then how will you get your lottery ticket?

Then perhaps you'll admit, solely for my edification,

Then that's not good for any of us.

Then why did you run?

Then you know that I've been operating

There are bite marks on the ceiling.

There are four of them.

There are multiple bite marks on the ceiling.

There goes that.

There must be a way to get Lydia out of here,

There was a bit about a sofa, a thing with Thor...

There was a goddamn shootout. Bodies everywhere!

There were two men hiding under the bridge.

There weren't bars on the windows,

There's an ocean of commonalities here for us to draw on.

There's four men with baseball bats

There's garbage everywhere! What the...

There's no way I could have known what...

There's probably one of them still out there,

There's some kind of a drunk woman up there acting crazy,

These are not our real names.

These are the stupidest goddamn people alive.

They are merely another loose end that needs to be snipped.

They cannot be contained.

They did?

They didn't even mention the bloody Rowdy 3,

They died right in front of us,

They had more money back then.

They had the same tattoos we saw tonight.

They happen immediately, that's what "happening" is, it means...

They haven't stopped existing.

They hire me to do... stuff.

They let me out, too.

They meant your friend?

They parallel.

They said they found paw prints.

They said you didn't have the budget for the op.

They say the noise only went on for 10 or so seconds.

They say they got a witness.

They still have lightning rods?

They threw the goddamn dog off the bridge.

They used your key.

They wanted me to build some power converter

They'll see you now, sir.

They're after you, right?

They're going to bounce this case to Major Crimes

They're not dog hypnotists!

They've had a "Do Not Disturb" since 2:00 p.m. yesterday.

Things are about to get ugly.

Things happen when they happen.

Things, they... they double up.

Think I figured out your problem.

This guy really likes Lux DuJour.

This homicide has possible ties to an ongoing...

This is a homicide, or...

This is a huge breakthrough!

This is all my fault. Look, I...

This is bad.

This is connected to Lydia.

This is from under two minutes before you arrived in the penthouse.

This is one of our machines.

This is private property.

This is really bad, Todd!

This is your big opportunity.

This is your chance to fix everything.

This isn't going to work. This is a bad idea.

This oversight committee has been reviewing

Thor?

Those guys are total nutjobs.

Though the nature of the animal

Time machine!

Time, I laugh at the concept.

To an astonishing number of people.

To be honest,

To connect this to Lydia Spring, and I mean soon.

To four dead bodies

To investigate his own death

To kill anyone.

To leech off a larger network.

To mirror itself,

To the recent disappearance of Spring's daughter,

Today is the day that it happened.

Today! My 600 bucks!

Todd, perfect,

Todd, what happened?

Todd!

Todd! Men!

Todd?

Todd?

Todd.

Todd...

Todd... Todd, wait! Maybe...

Too many. Do you understand?

Toward a man now connected

TV out!

Two human corpses are gone?

Uh huh!

Uh huh.

Uh huh. Yeah, well, no.

Uh huh. Yeah...

Uh... why?

Um... I know that this might sound crazy,

Um... yes?

Under an extremely limited budget.

Understood.

Unforeseen circumstances.

Unless we can turn up something

Unless you have some kind of magic car fixing robot.

Until I find Dirk Gently, whoever or whatever that is,

Very simple thing.

Wait a second, there's two guys. You said you got two guys.

Wait, do I know you?

Wait, he's the one who died at the hotel?

Wait, is he wearing a gorilla mask?

Wait, no. Screw that. Never mind.

Wait.

Wait. wait.

Was I on TV?

Wasn't there...

Water on your hand could feel like fire.

Way my life works,

We are Ed, Zed, and Fred.

We are not doing anything to the man Patrick Spring.

We are not professionals!

We are on our way now.

We both can walk,

We both like, um, eating,

We bring them in as soon as whatever this is is done.

We can't murder him.

We could just call them.

We got eyes on a gun, require backup at 515...

We got you away from those...

We gotta go.

We gotta stop for gas.

We have many threats to deal with.

We shoot you in the head,

We should go.

We should go.

We should talk to Farah Black again.

We want answers, and we want them n...

We were relieved you were still in town,

We will burn the soul out of your body for what you've done to us.

We're going to take back control,

We're going to take back control.

We're here about the bodies.

We're keeping it separate.

We're live.

We're lucky we met.

We're very good friends.

We've got her on file from when Lydia first went missing, right here.

Welcome to the Perriman Grand.

Well, a few.

Well, he doesn't look so tough.

Well, I am giving you one last chance, Colonel.

Well, I think...

Well, isn't there a chance she will, though?

Well, it's a same day termination, I'd have to delay the check.

Well, it's got to be connected, right?

Well, no private detective looks like a private detective.

Well, nothing left here.

Well, so who's going to pay me. You?

Well, some doors shouldn't be opened.

Well, some.

Well, that's why I needed you.

Well, the opiate ring that Dorian Rothlighter was running

Well, they're not here.

Well, we find them too.

Well, we kill them, of course. It's what we do.

Well, why do you think I was talking to Dorian.

Well, you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gun fight...

Well...

Well...

Well...

Well...

Went straight through to the electrical system,

Whaddya know?

Whaddya know?

What a relief. Those names are so stupid!

What about him?

What about Red, way out in the middle of nowhere?

What about the other guy?

What am I doing? Why am I doing this?

What are those, are those burns?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing there?

What are you doing? What are you doing?

What are you even talking about?

What are you gonna do, you gonna call the cops?

What are you still doing here?

What are you talking about? What did we do to you?

What branch did they assign you to me from?

What case?

What case?

What could Patrick Spring have done to anger an evil enclave

What could've caused that?

What department did you say you were from?

What did they do to you?

What did you find?

What did you guys do to this place?

What do we do?

What do we do?

What do you got there?

What do you mean "or something?"

What do you mean same day? It just happened today.

What do you mean, you've got a shot?

What do you want now?

What happened?

What have we got?

What if he just pulls a gun?

What is a "holistic detective"?

What is going on?

What is happening?

What is this?

What is... Is that a lottery ticket?

What now?

What the hell are they talking about?

What the hell are you doing?

What the hell is that?

What the hell is this new shit?

What the hell is this? What the...

What the hell just happened?

What the hell was that?

What the hell, man!

What the hell?

What the...

What we're dealing with here appears to be a criminal,

What you said about things being connected,

What, are you kidding me right now?

What, like the mob?

What, you think I'm stupid?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? I don't...

What? Um, hold on...

What? Wait, wait, wait. Listen, listen, listen.

What? What? What do you want?

What? Why?

What? Why?

What? Why? Are you okay?

What... what happened?

What... What kitten?

What's changed?

What's that supposed to do?

What's that?

What's this?

What's with all your crap about taking control of your life?

What's wrong with you, exactly?

What's your alternative?

What's your name?

Whatever keeps you sane.

Whatever keeps you sane.

When Aunt Esther would have good days and bad days?

When did we learn about that?

When he wasn't there, and I stole it back.

When I was a kid, I was part of a...

When I'm less...

When you put it like that, it's pretty bad,

Where are the other two bodies?

Where are they existing currently?

Where are you?

Where are you? It's time.

Where is Lydia Spring?

Where is my money?

Where is the kitten?

Where the hell are you, Todd?

Where was the security, Zim?

Where?

Where's General Kinsey?

Where's my money!

Where's my money?

Where's my rent money?

Where's my rent, Todd?

Where's my rent?

Where's the goddamn rent?

Where's the goddamn rent?

Where's the head?

Where's the other guy?

Whether the tragic incident bears any connection

Whether you are complicit or not.

Which makes sense...

Which will for now remain tangential,

Which, as of now, seem unconnected,

While searching your apartment,

While you did discover some interesting phenomena,

While you were in there,

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who are you? What is this?

Who has insinuated himself

Who has insinuated himself into my life

Who killed this man?

Who looks like they know where they're going...

Who was that guy with the tats and the shotgun

Who was that?

Who was the guy that I killed at the power station?

Who were those guys?

Who were those guys?

Who were those two guys?

Who?

Who's it from?

Who's that woman?

Who's this?

Who's... Who's Dirk Gently?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Freeze! Freeze!

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Whoa!

Whoever or whatever killed Patrick Spring.

Whoo! Whoo!

Whose cat is that?

Whose dog is that?

Why are you doing this to Patrick?

Why are you doing this?

Why are you in such a rush?

Why didn't you just ask him to fly you in a private jet?

Why didn't you just say "I'm not Dirk Gently?"

Why does Dorian know your name?

Why does it matter where you go?

Why don't you move back in with mom and dad?

Why give her all of your money?

Why not?

Why?

Will neither confirm nor deny...

Will you expose her to the light?

Will you shut up for a minute, please?

With my own messed up problems!

With sniper rifles, poison,

With such petty things as fingerprint powder,

With the bloody...

With the exception of each being separately bizarre?

With the lottery ticket.

Without worrying a gust of wind will knock you down.

Without worrying a gust of wind will knock you down.

Won't this look suspicious?

Word came from on high to let him go.

Worried you'd skipped out onto the next case.

Would it be bad for you if you were?

Would you get in the car?

Would you let me finish?

Would've been the day it happened...

Wow. You guys really

Y yeah, a little bit, but...

Yeah, and they aren't generally found in hotel rooms.

Yeah, but in the mishkin parambuler,

Yeah, I am. I'm sure.

Yeah, I could just... use the money.

Yeah, I just remember the bad days.

Yeah, of course, I came.

Yeah, okay, I found it, and...

Yeah, some sort of chomping device,

Yeah, sorry, what?

Yeah, that's Brotzman.

Yeah, we believe

Yeah, well,

Yeah, well, I was there.

Yeah, well, I'm here on assignment,

Yeah, well...

Yeah.

Yeah. Of course.

Yeah. Okay, Ed.

Yeah. Well, where is he?

Yeah. Yeah. We were wondering about that.

Yes, but it's a same day termination.

Yes, he's not nearly as good looking as people say.

Yes, I was awake.

Yes, I will, I just...

Yes, it's interesting, because hammerhead sharks

Yes, Ned liked to do that.

Yes, today is the day that is the same,

Yes!

Yes?

Yes? Can I help you?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. It is.

You "What the hell?"

You are an insane person,

You are endangering the whole goddamn operation!

You are never gonna get

You are now a vital part of the investigation.

You are poking a bear, my friend!

You are?

You broke into my apartment.

You came!

You can see it if you'd like.

You can't fire me

You can't just break into my apartment!

You claim that you have unique insight into these subjects?

You decided it would be better to come with me than die.

You did your duty ish!

You didn't even do a full half of a duty, you lazy man, Todd!

You didn't notice?

You didn't silence your phone?

You didn't think I would come? I...

You didn't touch anything at the scene,

You didn't transfer the bodies from the Patrick Spring case?

You didn't...

You didn't...

You don't even know my business!

You don't happen to know this woman, do you?

You don't know what happened yesterday,

You don't look like a private detective.

You don't report to him anymore. You report to me.

You don't think there's a chance that you could, you know,

You don't, though.

You ever listen to any of his music?

You gotta be goddamn kidding me

You guys on drugs?

You have a machete!

You haven't killed me yet.

You just said you were on a case.

You know that they're broke, Todd.

You know what, never mind.

You know what, no, I don't want to hear all that

You know, I've started to think

You know, old people, and me, occasionally.

You lied to me the whole time, and now you've screwed both of us.

You must be...

You okay? Back off, okay?

You paid me? Do I look like an accountant to you?

You psychopath!

You realize I'm gonna take the car.

You said Patrick Spring was killed by a shark.

You said you kill whoever you meet.

You said you were going to stay in the car.

You said you'd kill me if I didn't come.

You seem like a guy, but I can't do this.

You seem stressed out.

You should go.

You showed up.

You still have your master key?

You think they intimidate me?

You think they're the ones who killed Patrick Spring?

You total asshole. I can't believe you did this to me!

You tricked me into breaking into a house with you.

You were hired to come here?

You were there, the day it happened.

You worked at that hotel, where the murders took place.

You wouldn't believe it.

You... you killed him?

You'd be upset too if a giraffe tried to kill you!

You're a detective who doesn't find clues.

You're a detective. Don't you...

You're a person of interest,

You're a terrible assis friend.

You're a terrible assistant.

You're backing yourself into a corner.

You're embarrassing yourself.

You're free to go.

You're insane.

You're more important to this case than you realize.

You're not Dirk Gently?

You're not gonna try and fix it?

You're really brave, sort of.

You're still wearing the shower curtain!

You're sure you did not see a kitten?

You're unemployed. Technically.

You're working the case.

You've been making choices out of desperation for too long,

You've got a great memory.

You've got that nut Dorian chasing you around,

You've lost your job,

Your apartment building, the Ridgely.

Your dead friend over there had a bone saw.

Your dog,

Your involvement in all of this,

Your life a mundane, unvarying slog through unfulfilling jobs,

Your message said you didn't have the money.

Your research was inconclusive and without definable results.

Your shoe on your foot could feel like it was crushing it.

Zim, what the hell does this in 10 seconds?

Zimmerfield.

0...

1...

4...

5...

7...

15...

600 bucks, or I swear to God, I will kill you.

745, and then the penthouse.

A bit loud for me. Where's the clicker?

Active state interest. What, like, the CIA?

and she seemed happy... Yes, like a happy dog.

But maybe... No!

but... it's gonna take a bit of time. Okay. Great, thank you.

call my sister back, and... Todd, focus.

Check this out. All right.

Confluent. Yeah.

Did you find the dog? No.

Don't drop my dog! Let her go now or I drop it, I swear to God...

Don't leave town. Also, you're fired.

Drop it! Freeze!

Drop the gun! No, you drop the gun!

FBI! Drop your weapons!

Freeze! Drop it! Drop it!

Given Black Wing's significance... Significance?

He wasn't here yet. That's what he's about to say.

Her father's death fits in. Can you prove that?

Hi! No, don't.

How do you know who we are? We don't.

I gave him my cards. You gave him your card?

I helped you steal a dog? Ish.

Let her go! No, no, no, no, no.

Let's go. Where's my money, huh?

Maybe it is though. No, it isn't.

Maybe. I don't know. And is it a winner?

Nathan. Agent Weedle. Hello.

No, but... No!

No, no, no, no! No, Todd, no! No. Please...

No! Let the woman go or I drop it.

No. Yes.

No. Yes.

No. What would we want with them? We do not want bodies.

Other two bodies? From the crime scene.

Pararibulitis? Yeah, right.

Plenty of people die out here. Hah! Right.

shortly thereafter... I just found a dog.

Something like that. Exactly like that.

Surely you're not proposing... And if you fail again,

take whatever Spring paid you and... No. It's...

That wasn't the deal. There's no deal.

The hotel room? I didn't know about that.

This morning? Yeah.

to get some answers. The man shot at us.

We didn't. Did you?

We don't know! Why did you kill Patrick Spring?

We've got to clean it up! Did he say "bodies"?

What time? 9:00 a.m.

What were you doing there? Why are you doing this to me?

What? I'm bluffing,

What? Sorry.

What? What?

Where are you going? None of your business.

Where is the kitten? What kitten?

Where's Lydia? She's not here.

Why did you attack us? We didn't!

Why did you burn my house down? I burnt your house down?

Why do you want it? Why did you take it?

Yeah, we're not their bitch. Right?

Yes. No.

Yes. No.

You could've waited outside. Someone shot at us!

You don't know her? Do you?

You know her? Well, I...

You want some raisins? No.

You! Me! It is.

You're not a historian! I'm just... Okay...

'Cause I got you,

'Cause that...

'Cause... uh, there's this, um...

"Give us the dog or we will kill her. Eastgate Bridge. Midnight."

"Gordon Rimmer."

"Holistic" is the fundamental interconnectedness of all things.

"Icarus."

"Other guy"?

"Project Icarus" is leaving the building.

"Project Incubus."

"Request" backup.

"We have your friend," and then a picture of a woman.

$10,000 midnight pick!