The Last Man on Earth - Season 3 Edit

A "Who Knew Who Was Crazy When" contest.

A a thorn in a foot. Right?

A And eyes!

A bunch over there.

A couple broken bones, or...?

A good vibe about you, Tandy.

A great first impression, but look at me.

A heads up about your friend!

A holding tank collects rainwater,

A madman knows exactly where we are,

A new society, and I couldn't think of a better place

A patio furniture store.

A prison island, world's curviest street.

A rescue, might pee on the carpet from time to time,

A small house, tiny yard, white picket fence.

A unicorn with two horns.

A video short called "I Want My Hat Back" with Galen Fott,

A weird name for a lion, and also a little confusing

A wonderful wife with its low climate

Aah!

About San Francisco: the Golden Gate Bridge,

About the lion and the mouse?

About the power going out.

About the whole Pat situation,

Abundantly kosher between us lately.

Advertent rhyme.

After a crazy person.

After I shoot your balls off.

Against all odds, we became a family here.

Ah, he's not a poddy dodger.

Ah, look at that!

Ah, man, my bad!

Ah, my fingers are Bugles!

Ah, nothing. Tandy and Lewis just became friends.

Ah!

Ah.

Ah. Hmm

Aim at throats and balls!

All Ds... Dominic...

All my hugs and kisses, too,

All right, easy!

All right, here we go.

All right, if everyone wants to stay here,

All right, Lewis, start talking.

All right!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All the way to Tampa!

Although I'm still not sure about that Lewis guy.

Am gay. Currently.

Amen to that.

An epic battle!

And all he wants is to be a part of this group.

And all of them came back positive for death.

And and, Todd, do not tell the others.

And blow off a little steam, huh?

And damn if we didn't see your lights.

And deal with the cup in the morning.

And decide where he was gonna land?

And every one of you.

And for the first time

And he eats cat food.

And he is friggin' pissed at us.

And he makes us wear the janky jeans?

And he really is a very fearful person.

And he seemed to be cooling down.

And he then went on to be in a movie called The Jerk Theory,

And he thinks the virus is still around.

And he'll, you know, come back here

And how perfect that we're going to San Francisco.

And I always wanted to try this.

And I can make them sing like a Doobie Brother.

And I didn't want that dream to die.

And I don't have to pee as much.

And I don't think she's processing it.

And I love you.

And I turned 'em into daisies.

And I'll figure it out, okay?

And I'm here for you.

And I'm... just not good with heavy.

And I've had enough of you.

And I've really taken a liking to this one.

And if it was, I won 'cause I knew it all along.

And if we don't get it back,

And it looks like he's there to stay.

And it went great. Right, T?

And it's all because of Tandy here.

And it's gonna stay that way, capisce?

And it's you from this building.

And leave, 'cause you just got here, like, five days ago.

And nobody say that again twice.

And office chairs, but it does look out over a Chili's.

And one animal... I never knew what it was,

And one got away from me.

And paint something on the wall saying he sailed off to Hawaii.

And plus, it's a fun song, so it's a double blessing.

And probably take others with me.

And rather than get rid of all the angry messages,

And remember, we were the ones who shot their friend.

And right on cue, the freakin' peanut gallery opens his shell

And see where the flood takes us?

And shoots off his little peanut mouth.

And somehow,

And the generators.

And the group is in danger,

And the other one's just not there anymore.

And the pain of sickness. You know?

And the restroom's far away, they just do their business,

And the weather is fine.

And the youngest sibling was called Mouse.

And then at the end there, we had a really quick bad one

And then Glendon,

And then I said, "Carol, you're my supermodel porn."

And then I said, "I tried, but you were so excited about it,

And then Lewis, then Taylor...

And then pour vinegar on the freshly exposed wounds,

And then that area is loaded.

And then their mother, she had a brother Terry,

And then there was Tabitha,

And then we kissed.

And then we were just passing by Malibu,

And then wipe off the blood and put it back in its station.

And then, after being at sea with him for a few days,

And then, forces beyond my control just

And there's whistles in there, too.

And this is exactly like that.

And this nest here gives me, uh, great brain stem possibilities

And those fish... that song...

And waggin' that tizzy.

And we are 300 miles from San Francisco.

And we can just talk it out outdoor slumber party style?

And we can paint our own masterpiece right here.

And we set sail for Hawaii.

And y'all can suck it.

And you can't miss.

And you killed someone,

And you killed someone.

And you listen to me for a change!

And you're all the animals."

And, Gail...

And, I mean, and

And, of course, Lombard Street, the least straight street

And, Tandy, if you say, "You're dying?

And, uh, I don't know...

And, uh, uh, butts!

And, you know, there's, like,

And, you know, you tried to kill my brother,

Animal faces,

Any way that you guys would consider letting us

Anyone who wants is welcome to join me.

Anything that can be turned into a shiv!

Anything's possible if you put your mind to it

Anyway, so I think it might be best

Anyway, so this story has something to do with, you know,

Anyway, this mouse... not the lion named Mouse,

Appears to be a totally self sustainable building.

Are we still on this?

Are you gonna be able to save her?

Are you gonna tase me, Tandy?

Are you just getting your steps in, hon?

Are you okay?

Are you serious?

Are you sure?

Aren't you spiffy.

Art on jeans.

As an actual mouse figures prominently into this story.

At least he's out there on the playing field,

At sustainable food sources.

At times.

At what I like to call "tasing stations"

Attaboy, rip it off like a Band Aid.

Aw.

Awesome.

Bad car! How dare you disobey me!

Bark at a minority, hump some legs.

Base of the brain. One shot, threat over.

Basically just a bunch of axes around the house...

Be careful, my love.

Be on the lookout for Tony Bennett's heart,

Be right back.

Beautiful San Francisco!

Because he didn't want to scare you.

Because I made custom jobbies for each

Because it turns out that Pat is way more alive

Because Pat's alive

Because... it's so beautiful!

Been available to me ever since you been running around

Been available to me.

Been going through kind of a...

Before they go to bed.

Blister? Hardly knew 'er.

Body blow, body blow. Left hook,

Boom.

Boom.

Boom.

Bottom line:

Brain freeze!

Brain stem shot?

Brain stem shot.

Brain stem shot.

Brain stem shot.

Brain stem shot.

Brain stem shot.

Brain stem shot.

Brief incarcerant.

Bud?

But a gay Asian? Hey, that checks off two boxes for us.

But an office building?

But apparently Tandy is asking Lewis to be his little buddy.

But even though you turned into

But he didn't do anything.

But he's actually here in Malibu somewhere.

But he's really trying.

But I created such a mess.

But I decided I'm finally ready.

But I guess my only problem is that

But I promise we'll make it feel like a home.

But I think maybe it's time

But I thought my name was not Spiffy, but rather Patrick.

But I want to hear you say it.

But I'm I'm... uh, just...

But I'm worried that people are getting a little urinated off

But in fact the man of my dreams.

But it gets kind of lonely out there.

But it was just something weird that I remember.

But it yelled "Stop!"

But it's great. This is good, guys.

But let me go over there first, okay? You know that

But married into a very large family.

But on the one percent chance he does,

But once we housebreak him, oh, he's gonna be lickin' faces

But Pat, yeah, I mean,

But Tandy will save us.

But the actual mouse... was an only child,

But the main reason

But the truth is Pat is alive,

But today you've been a real pain in the front.

But we don't hear this...

But we'll get a handle on this!

But we've been here for a long time.

But you just said you had a partner.

But you told everybody he was dead.

But your intentions were beyond heroic.

But, hey, there is a bright side to this

But, hey, what are the chances? We'll see.

But, looks like we're gonna have to eliminate 'er

But, okay, yeah, semen, sure.

But, Tandy, you told us he was dead!

But, uh, Melissa has planted a series of land mines

But, yeah,

But, yeah, I think he's probably gone.

But, yes, it is.

But... well, you said he was alive.

Bye, Gail.

Bye, hon. Take care.

Bye, Todd.

Bye.

Calling him a hero.

Can I see it?

Can we bring Cher?

Can we go?

Can we have Patrick back?

Can you hear me?

Care Bear, but I'm gonna have to insist that we stay.

Care Bear, what are these?

Carol and I, we're pregnant, so...

Carol, I'm a month further along than you,

Carol, look at me

Carol, Pat is dead.

Carol, Tandy, come look at this.

Carol, uh, bullhorn on the talking,

Carol, what are you doing?

Carol, what are you doing?

Carol, what happened? Are you okay?

Carol, what's happening?

Carol?

Carol.

Carol. You're pregnant.

Catch you on the flippity.

Catch.

Central air conditioning!

Chair.

Chutes and ladders!

Cold.

Come here.

Come here. Come over here. Okay.

Come on, Gail, "crazy" is a little harsh, don't you think?

Come on, get out of here! Go!

Come on, hup two!

Come on, Lewis.

Come on, Todd, you don't mean that.

Come on, what are you, like,

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Let's go. Let's hit the road

Come on. We got to stick together.

Completely absurd things, I want to move to Mount Everest.

Completely absurd things, I want to move to Mount Everest.

Constant, just...

Could you please pass the salt?

Couldn't have been a freakin' supermarket

Couldn't resist.

Count me in.

Current.

Damn it, Tandy, I've had enough of this.

Damn it.

Danny Partridge was in The Partridge Family,

Dibs.

Did I scare you?

Did we learn nothing from Tony Robbins?

Did you mean "pardner"? You a cowboy?

Did you sink it?

Did... did you want that one?

Ding a ling.

Ding a ling.

Diplomacy fails.

Do we look like idiots?

Do we look like idiots?

Do we?

Do you know how far Vancouver is from Dollywood?

Don't be a hero.

Don't go the distance.

Don't move!

Don't shoot! Don't shoot me!

Don't sit down.

Don't try anything stupid, okay?

Don't you need some tools?

Down here on the beach.

Drive around aimlessly?

Drop a sculpture on my wife,

Easy. Just follow my lead.

Eh, it's all a matter of perspective, really.

Eh, well, don't worry about me.

Endless source of...

Erica, you put the fear of gosh in us!

Everybody here? If I could get your attention.

Everybody, grab a weapon!

Everyone's panties jumping up their buns,

Feel better.

Fine, nobody say "Beetlejuice" again.

Fine, yes, yes, yes,

Fine. Yeah.

Fire ants, certainly natural causes.

Fire in the hole!

Fire in the hole!

Fire in the hole.

Fire must've started and I guess there was no one to put it out.

Firearms are not the answer.

Folks, this is your captain, Tandy Miller, speaking

Follow your book.

For just a few more... huh, inadvertent rhyme there...

For legend has told he left it somewhere within city limits

For me, I think my time has come.

For my rational thinking, right?

For opening your hearts to me.

For this amazing redesign. Huh?

For trees. A tree surgeon.

For you to know that I'm...

For... what?

Four minutes to pizza, folks!

Fresh start.

Fresh start.

Fresh start.

Fresh... start.

From overconsumption.

From the rest of the trip.

From the spirit world.

Frozen pizza!

G Guys, Gail's Gail's gonna have the fourth floor, which is,

Gail and I broke up.

Gail, come on. Wait.

Gail, I am worried about Melissa.

Gail, I am worried about Melissa.

Gail, is that your car?

Gail, where are you going?!

Gail's leaving.

Gas goes bad.

Gay.

Geez, guys, cool your jets.

Geez, Lewis, thanks for giving us

Get back here, car!

Get back there and act like a murderer.

Get in, get in! I got the key!

Get in, get in! I got the key!

Get into his psyche.

Get off me.

Get out of here.

Get outta town.

Get your hat off!

Glad I could, uh, be of help.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go!

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

God, Tandy,

God, we've got to get back

God, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?!

Good evening, Vietnam.

Good for all kinds of things.

Good God.

Good morning, Vietnam!

Good trench depth. Yep. Sure. Sure.

Good, good.

Good, let's go.

Good, uh, vantage point.

Good, uh, vantage point.

Got a baby sitting on my bladder.

Got it out of my system.

Got it. Everybody got it?

Got something I, uh... I got to say.

Got to be alert. Never know where it's gonna come from.

Got you, you little piece of switch!

Got you!

Grab Oscars, Emmys,

Grammys, Golden Globes!

Great idea, Carol. You know,

Great plan, except I'm onto you.

Guess start in the middle?

Guess we'll see.

Guys, are you hearing this?

Guys, come on,

Guys, come on! There's nothing to fear but fear itself!

Guys, guys,

Guys, introduce yourselves.

Guys, Pat is alive.

Guys, relax, okay?

Guys, we could already be in Tampa right now,

Guys?

Guys...

Ha ha!

Had to do it. BT... bad timing.

Hair. You like it?

Has not cooled down yet.

Has something died in there?

Hatchets, rainbows.

Have you learned your lesson about not using firearms?

Have you processed your murder of Darrell?

He can join in progress, right?

He dead?

He dead.

He dead.

He doesn't seem fun.

He doesn't want to kill us.

He gone.

He gone.

He had many brothers and sisters...

He has to go.

He just seems like a real bad news Barry.

He lived in a beautiful savannah.

He said yes!

He said yes!

He told me that he killed somebody a few weeks ago

He was just here.

He was the best.

He was the middle lion of 11.

He was the one who should've survived, not me.

He's a flippin' psycho.

He's alive.

He's alive.

He's being sincere; you just probably can't tell

He's dead, or he died.

He's done it!

He's extending his hand.

He's finishing him.

He's gone.

He's gonna give it to Pat.

He's gonna let Pat know

He's gonna shoot us!

He's he's dead.

He's he's... he's not just crazy, he's he's dangerous.

He's here to apologize.

He's not coming back.

He's not, like, around here, right?

He's poking Tandy's eyes.

He's very dangerous.

He's very fun.

Head or heart?

Heck, less than an hour.

Heck, you even tried to kick me out, your leader!

Heel! Heel!

Hell, that hairy old turd could be watching us right now.

Hells bells, Carol!

Hells bells, Todd.

Here we go.

Here you go.

Here, follow my finger.

Here, have a seat.

Here, I'll show you.

Here, let me get in there, huh?

Here, take it! Suck it down!

Hey oh!

Hey yo!

Hey, buck up, bud.

Hey, bud, so you want to, uh, chuck around the pigskin?

Hey, bud.

Hey, bud.

Hey, bud.

Hey, Carol! Come here!

Hey, Carol?

Hey, Gail bird, you out there?

Hey, Gail,

Hey, guys, how would you like to stay?

Hey, guys, you should come see this!

Hey, guys!

Hey, guys! You got to see this!

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys...

Hey, hey, why are we slowing down?

Hey, how about we, uh, ink up some jeans?

Hey, I haven't heard from Gail in a while.

Hey, I'm Jed. Semper Fi!

Hey, Melissa, I was just...

Hey, so I have some really exciting news.

Hey, there's something up there!

Hey, Todd?

Hey, Todd.

Hey, Todd.

Hey, Todd.

Hey, Todd.

Hey, try great icebreaker, huh?

Hey, what is that?

Hey, why would I need a hand?

Hey, yeah. I, uh...

Hey, you guys coming up or what?

Hey, you just be yourself and you'll do fine.

Hey, you want a little taste?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! No!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. How'd it go with the Eliminator?

Hey... you're my supermodel porn.

Hi!

His name was Tetracles and his wife was Patricia. Now,

Hmm

Holy balls.

Holy balls.

Holy... farts.

Hope I'm not late for dinner.

Hope your friends feel the same.

Hot. I'm burning up. Could you hit the AC please?

How about you, Blue Man Group?

How are we gonna keep 'em from coming back here without scaring 'em?

How could Pat be alive?

How do we know he didn't sail off

How do you think it happened?

How Lewis just totally got my back

How would you like to stay?

How'd you get rid of the boat?

How's that self driving car treating you?

How's your slice?

Huh?

Huh? Hey, why don't you and I go out

Huh. What's the smartest way to do this?

I am saying, why are we staying here?

I am so glad to not be in the same car as Tandy.

I am telling you, Tampa would make a great place to live!

I am worried about Melissa.

I am your friend!

I am, uh, Julius.

I burned them all.

I can turn it off like a faucet.

I can't believe you would say that...

I can't live like this anymore!

I can't live like this anymore!

I d... I did. I packed Gordon.

I definitely heard bones breaking.

I deserve punishment.

I did see that.

I did!

I didn't forget to gas it up.

I didn't want you to have to live with that.

I do not see color, but it is Asian.

I do!

I don't have a business partner.

I don't have a gun.

I don't know about the rest of you guys.

I don't know anymore!

I don't know how close it is to your dreams,

I don't know how to live with this!

I don't know if you know how blessed you are

I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you.

I don't know!

I don't know.

I don't really have any secrets, Pat. I...

I don't think Peter, Paul or Mary will look too kindly

I don't understand the connection!

I don't understand this game!

I don't understand. Explain the connection.

I forgot my soap. Can I borrow yours?

I forgot to gas it up.

I get nervous around them and I...

I got a few extra Tasers and I placed them

I got news for you.

I got this.

I got two of 'em already. Boom.

I guess I should probably say a few words.

I guess that's our M.O., huh?

I had to do something.

I had two amazing girlfriends I was crazy about.

I have absolutely no idea.

I have ever seen.

I have no idea what to do now.

I have no idea why I'm watching this,

I hear chaises are really good for your back.

I I just really regret the way that I treated him.

I I just wanted you to know.

I I looked at it, uh, long enough to...

I I want to thank y'all

I I would never have had the courage

I Is there a dial to turn the music down?

I It's... that's just what the government wants,

I just always had this dream of where I'd raise my family.

I just didn't like the way she said that.

I just grazed him. I mean, Pat's gonna be fine. Right?

I just had a bout of morning sickness.

I just shot you.

I just talked to him, like, an hour ago,

I just that thought maybe this could be a good icebreaker.

I just thought that that might be best.

I just want to sit in the shade.

I just want to... just want to talk

I just...

I killed him, didn't I?

I killed him, didn't I?

I knew it, I knew it!

I knew it. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

I know them by heart.

I know we got off to an awkward start, but is is there

I know we won't.

I know we won't.

I know you have a lot of memories here,

I know, Gail, but we'll we'll get through it.

I like it burned

I like to see where these things go.

I like to show the realistic side.

I lost my brother not too long ago.

I love it! What is it?

I love it.

I love it. You could open a store.

I love you, too.

I mean, did Noah load up his ark

I mean, do you think Noah had a plan

I mean, how do you think they'd feel if they knew

I mean, I did all the tests.

I mean, I guess I saw it coming, but it still sucks, you know.

I mean, I I... I just grazed him! I think I... It was just...

I mean, Lewis already wasn't a big fan, even with power.

I mean, like, every inch

I mean, Noah didn't have a bunch of arks, he had one ark.

I mean, we both have our secrets,

I mean, we got a real Benetton ad going here.

I mean, we have a gay population!

I mean, we're all that's left.

I mean, we're talking full on smush.

I mean, what are we doing?

I mean, when I first met Carol,

I mean, when I look at our little caravan here,

I mean, you all were very recently complaining

I mean, you blew it on many,

I mean, you know, he's definitely a...

I miss him.

I once drove cross country with my partner

I pity the fool.

I put Gordon away. I don't need him anymore.

I put them on very slowly, Lewis.

I put up a warning.

I ran into Darrell and Lewis here,

I ran into some ex Marines and MMA fighters.

I really do.

I saw Citizen Kane once,

I saw Citizen Kane once, and I always wanted to try this.

I see you're all soaking up the sunshine that is Pat.

I should probably go tell the others.

I spent a lot of time with Pat,

I spook them.

I spy something very trustworthy. It has hair.

I stand by that.

I think I already know

I think I killed him!

I think I left them inside!

I think I'm ready to be alone again.

I think people can make their own decisions.

I think we might be in Cher's house.

I think we're all coming apart at the seams a little bit.

I think we're all overreacting.

I think you shot the wrong person.

I think you should go be with her.

I thought I'd treat us with a Golden Gate Bridge

I thought maybe we should reclaim them,

I thought my name was Pat. Uh, boom.

I thought we were friends. I thought I could trust you.

I thought your name was Erica," I'm gonna punch you in the face!

I thought your name was Erica. Boom.

I thought your name was Lewis. Boom.

I told you he was crazy.

I took care of beeswax.

I tried, but you were so excited about it,

I trust you, here.

I understand, Pat.

I walked right into it

I want to know what you want me to shoot first,

I was a surgeon.

I was just walking, and this thingy fell from the ceiling.

I was not business partners with my lover.

I was such a mess, she pulled a gun on me.

I would avoid that area.

I wrote, "We're all going to diet."

I... I actually need a volunteer.

I... I just... I just can't connect with her.

I'd do her, I'd do her, I'd...

I'd like to.

I'd love it.

I'd love your help.

I'll be in the bedroom.

I'll do that.

I'll get to spend more time with you now, though.

I'll give them the news.

I'll go over there and check it out.

I'll shoot. I'm serious.

I'm a murderer, I'm coming for you right now...

I'm a neck snapper!

I'm an astronaut. I I just came from space.

I'm being very sincere here:

I'm certainly not one of the jackasses,

I'm CJ. Jujitsu is my game!

I'm doing something similar, but with axes.

I'm eating my fingers

I'm eating my fingers!

I'm fine.

I'm going to Napa.

I'm going to the bathroom.

I'm gonna be just fine.

I'm gonna chew it and chew it and chew it and chew it.

I'm gonna chew me so much damn ice.

I'm gonna do it with

I'm gonna give it to you.

I'm gonna need another pee break. Over.

I'm gonna need... need a minute.

I'm gonna turn in.

I'm guessing you think you're Noah?

I'm just gonna come right out and say it:

I'm just having trouble reading your emotions.

I'm just stretching my legs. Been in the car for so long.

I'm just trying to catch my breath a little, you know.

I'm leaving tomorrow!

I'm leaving tomorrow!

I'm my own person, and I'm going back if Gail goes back.

I'm nervous that you're gonna tase me.

I'm night blind,

I'm not alone!

I'm not gonna move that much further.

I'm not gonna wear those frigging things,

I'm not sure I know how to live with this.

I'm out.

I'm pregnant, too!

I'm pregnant!

I'm saying,

I'm so bad at these things.

I'm so proud of you.

I'm sorry you're sad.

I'm sorry, but I think that this is a fair temperature.

I'm sorry.

I'm sure we won't get killed.

I'm telling you, it just feels so great

I'm telling you, we're getting worked up over nothing here.

I'm tired of just getting through it.

I'm vibing you, too.

I'm worried people are gonna start to doubt this place.

I've been looking to shed some LBs,

I've decided to give little self defense lessons each night

I've just been having a devil of a time

Idiot.

If anything, this place is a day stallion!

If I had to ride with him, I would literally kill myself,

If I knew that, I wouldn't have to be running.

If that's what you're implying.

If we're just yelling out

If you press him,

In a long time, I feel like I'm I'm home.

In fact, he's moving around better than I've ever seen him.

In the damn cars again, don't we?

In the morning, I will go over to the fuse box,

In the world. Lookin' at you, Lewis.

In times of grief,

Instead of sitting in the peanut gallery

Interesting.

Into delicious drinking water.

Inverted crosses, food...

Is it?

Is Pat alive?

Is setting off our singing wall fishes.

Is that how we're doing this?

Is that so?

Is that we need to be very cautious here.

Is this really necessary?

Isn't it pretty?

Isn't it pretty?

Isn't this something!

It could be a fan or a drag queen.

It is conventionally handsome.

It is fake snoring.

It is having much more fun than it's letting on.

It is just the classic "T" look,

It looks like it leads to the beach.

It says, you know, "I pity the fool."

It scared the Beetlejuice out of me.

It was a simulation. It was fun.

It was in my pocket.

It was just a tap. I mean, Pat's gonna be fine, right?

It was the worst

It was you.

It was your seatbelt!

It was.

It's a big sky country.

It's a blank canvas.

It's a little cold, but it works.

It's all part of the no plan plan,

It's called friendship, Pat.

It's completely different.

It's gonna take a lot more than a couple friggin' land mines

It's got a working ATM.

It's got some issues with exposed wires and cubicles

It's got to be Pat!

It's hard not to think about how Noah must have felt

It's just a horrible misunderstanding.

It's just, he may be alive now.

It's like a bi corn.

It's like a freakin' flock of seals

It's like she's devoid of human emotion.

It's looking good.

It's me... Tandy.

It's Melissa! She's not shooting at us!

It's not me!

It's not possible.

It's not up to us.

It's not...

It's nothing.

It's okay, sweetheart.

It's okay. She didn't mean it, huh?

It's only been two days since, you know...

It's perfect.

It's pretty close.

It's pretty good, huh?

It's pretty gross over there.

It's so pretty.

It's too bad that Titanic wasn't made out of your jeans, huh?

It's very unlike you.

J Just aim at anything!

Jean art enthusiast.

JK.

Join in. Hip, hip,

Jumped into a wood chipper.

Just a full blown poddy dodger.

Just a little sniper's nest.

Just a week ago,

Just can't believe you did this, Carol.

Just checking out the view. You got to see this.

Just funny.

Just good to have you back.

Just hope that one day, we can, you know...

Just like a faucet.

Just like a faucet.

Just one guy who wants to kill us, you friggin' dingbat!

Just seems like the perfect place to masturbate.

Just shut your stupid mouth

Just sick about it.

Just taking you on a little furlough.

Just tell me why you're doing it.

Just that when the day of reckoning comes,

Just think of a place that has all the things we loved

Just wanted to say, uh, great first day back at the house.

Just wanted to tell you you look wonderful today.

Just, like, j... hoppin' around, jumping around

Kind of a monster there at the end,

Lamp!

Less of a hangout area and more of a protection zone.

Let me give her a look aroo.

Let me give you a hand with these fish, huh?

Let's go.

Let's leave before Pat comes back and kills us all,

Lew?

Lewis

Lewis and Pat stay.

Lewis is gay.

Lewis, could you, uh,

Lewis, it might be easy for you to just pack up

Lewis, will you be my friend?

Lewis! Lewis!

Lewis?

Lewis?

Lewis.

Lewis.

Lewis.

Lewis. Lewis.

Lewis...

Like a fresh start, if you know what I mean.

Like a house.

Like I told you.

Like if supermodels did porn.

Like if supermodels did porn."

Like trash when we're done with them.

Like we treated each other?

Like, he's seriously dangerous.

Like, you know, how you turn sewage water

Like...

Like... couch.

Listen, Tandy lied to you

Listen!

Look out!

Look, admittedly, we're working out the kinks.

Look, being on the road is just stressful.

Look, I don't want to stay if you don't want to be here.

Look, I know Pat's awkward.

Look, I'll be very careful.

Look, I'm 100% sure that Pat's not coming back,

Look, I'm really sorry about this, but, uh...

Look, obviously,

Look, there are five floors here. It's almost meant to be.

Look, things lately have just gotten really heavy,

Look, this could be a really good thing for us.

Look, Todd was just so broken up about the whole thing,

Look, we've been through a lot

Look, you created a monster here.

Look, you guys know that I'm known

Look!

Look.

Look...

Looking good, Hollywood!

Looks like he lit a little incense.

Lots of gold chains.

Love it. Yeah. Yeah.

Love the enthusiasm, Lewis.

Made out of Twizzlers tonight

Make the house look bad so we all want to move.

Man, I love this room.

Many levels.

Maybe I can heat up the pool a little before you dive in.

Maybe I should just go away for a while.

Maybe I'd do, like, jeans for the whole group.

Maybe maybe no bullhorn on the chewing?

Maybe they have food!

Maybe they just need directions.

Maybe this place isn't the paradise we thought it was.

Maybe we all just need to take a little nap.

Maybe we're overthinking this.

Me, me, me.

Melissa,

Melissa, watch out!

Melissa, what are you doing up there, hon?

Melissa, where are you going?

Melissa!

Melissa!

Melissa?

Melissa?

Melissa? Melissa?

Melissa? What are you doing up there?

Melissa's still having issues?

Melissa's the one that

Might have been a parrot.

Mike.

Mmm.

Mohawk, muscles,

More of an arborist.

Most people take care of their restroom stuff

Mother Nature can be so cruel.

Mount Everest.

Mr. T.

My bad! I was laying some blanket fire,

My bizzle. My bad

My first gay friend.

My friggin' accordion was in there!

Neat.

Neat.

Never mind. Delete.

Nice shot.

Nightmare?

No family.

No friends.

No luck with these self driving cars.

No slouch in the Asian department, either.

No way, Tandy! What if they're right,

No, didn't think so.

No, I got to admit, I agree with Tandy.

No, I I just thought...

No, I think he understood where from which you were coming.

No, I'm not gonna tase you, Lewis.

No, I'm with Gail! It is not worth it!

No, it's not great, Gail!

No, my name's Tandy.

No, no, no, I knew it!

No, no, no, I see your point. Yes, yes, yes.

No, no, no.

No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.

No, no, please, please.

No, right?

No, Tandy,

No, Tandy,

No, Tandy, I was talking about my lover.

No, Tandy.

No, Tandy. I'm gay

No, you cannot see it.

No!

No!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. He seems like a solid gold nut.

No. He's totally alive.

No. I mean, what are we still doing here?

Noah's ark. Boom

Nobody move!

None of 'em

Nope, I can't.

Nope, this is definitely Cher's house.

Not made of foam.

Not my Pat, no.

Not this time.

Now can we just move on?

Now put some flowers in your hair, 'cause here it is.

Now, can I just ask Pat?

Now, don't get any ideas!

Now, just know

Now, listen to me.

Now, one dumped me,

Now, please just come come down here, hon.

Now, that is a fireworks show.

Now, this is a Taser.

Now, we're gonna come out.

Now, what is it you want?

Now, where are you, you little mother grabber?

Now, why can't we just treat them

Number one or number two, in a cup by the bed

Number one place to commit suicide...

Obviously,

Of course.

Of the place is coated in blood and stool.

Of what I could draw on your jeans.

Oh, and hello.

Oh, back to pass.

Oh, bloody hell, Tandy!

Oh, but the topper,

Oh, come on, guys,

Oh, crap, we're blocked in!

Oh, crap. Run, run, run, run!

Oh, dear God.

Oh, don't make one of your dumb ass speeches, Tandy

Oh, don't say morning sickness.

Oh, farts.

Oh, farts.

Oh, farts.

Oh, God, yes! He's done it!

Oh, God!

Oh, God. Darrell!

Oh, good God.

Oh, good God.

Oh, hell, I have heard them so many times,

Oh, here, get on all fours and I'll show you.

Oh, hey, Lewis!

Oh, hey, Lewis!

Oh, hey, there. I'm Frisco.

Oh, hey.

Oh, I couldn't sleep. I was just so darn tootin' and poopin'

Oh, I think I killed him!

Oh, I think we do,

Oh, I... yeah, I'd do her, I'd do her,

Oh, I'm all about that damn ice machine.

Oh, I'm calm. I'm "cume" as a "calmcumber."

Oh, I'm just in Cher's tree

Oh, it's eating you up that we moved into an office building,

Oh, it's so nice to see him coming on over to Tandytown.

Oh, it's true.

Oh, just give me a second, okay?

Oh, little high.

Oh, Lord. Everyone's crazy.

Oh, man, I really looked up to him.

Oh, my God

Oh, my God, did you notice

Oh, my God, I killed someone.

Oh, my God, I see it, too.

Oh, my God, I think I killed him!

Oh, my God, let me see that.

Oh, my God, Tandy's with him.

Oh, my God, there he is!

Oh, my God, we're all gonna die, aren't we?

Oh, my God, what's that?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! I'm dying!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my goodness,

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my word, it's happening!

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, no, that's blood.

Oh, no, this is a society, and we have rules.

Oh, no, you definitely killed him.

Oh, no, you hit him dead on.

Oh, no! He's thrown Tandy to the ground.

Oh, no.

Oh, now I've got it.

Oh, Pat?

Oh, please, you could not get his jeans on fast enough.

Oh, relax, it's not Pat!

Oh, so I took all the bullet holes

Oh, so we're just gonna turn our backs on him?

Oh, so you know what they're called.

Oh, so you want to... you want to live on your own?

Oh, sure. Hang on one sec.

Oh, Tandy Miller, how do you do it?

Oh, Tandy, I'm so scared.

Oh, technically, they are.

Oh, that's funny.

Oh, that's great. Congratulations.

Oh, there's no coming back from this one, Pat.

Oh, way to go, Lewis.

Oh, well, start acting like it!

Oh, well, we barely knew that guy.

Oh, what gave you that idea?

Oh, worth it.

Oh, yeah, a lot of people pull through situations

Oh, yeah, could you put those on for me?

Oh, yeah, Lewis, this isn't

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah! Yeah!

Oh, yeah? What... what's that?

Oh, you want AC?

Oh, you're irritated.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! Carol, what the hell?

Oh! Oh, okay.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Okay, get in! Get in!

Oh! That's amazing.

Oh! That's got to sting.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Hey, Erica!

Oh. Hey.

Oh. I really hope you all like jeans,

Oh. I'm sorry.

Oh. Those are jumpers.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh...

Oh... my... God.

Okay, all I'm saying with my little peanut mouth

Okay, and the truth is...

Okay, and why why's that?

Okay, but we can live literally anywhere in the world.

Okay, but, hon, I'm I'm gonna need you to come down,

Okay, damn it, Lewis, cut to the chase.

Okay, everyone just calm down!

Okay, fine, since Lewis has

Okay, fourth floor. Any takers?

Okay, guys, single file.

Okay, guys, so, uh, I took Todd over

Okay, guys, the key is attached to a small plastic Mr. T.

Okay, here's what we're gonna do.

Okay, I'll be back very soon.

Okay, I'm riding with Lewis.

Okay, it's been over two hours.

Okay, it's been over two hours.

Okay, just don't don't go. I'll be back in a minute, okay?

Okay, just... Lewis,

Okay, let's try, uh, five degrees to the right.

Okay, listen to yourselves.

Okay, maybe a little more to the left now.

Okay, now just come at me like you're a murderer. Okay?

Okay, now who wants the third floor?

Okay, now, before you leave, FYI,

Okay, okay, okay. Todd, Todd. Okay, look.

Okay, okay, we get it. What's your point?

Okay, okay! Help me out.

Okay, P Pat, Pat?

Okay, Pat, it's me again... Tandy.

Okay, see? I told you we're fine!

Okay, so I think that most of us are aware by now,

Okay, so they didn't make

Okay, so you'd just press the button...

Okay, this has gone on long enough.

Okay, um, are we allowed to boo throughout your little speech,

Okay, we got it.

Okay, we got to go.

Okay, we should get you in the other room.

Okay, we're not safe here. We need to leave.

Okay, well, good first day.

Okay, well, if they say it, I should probably do it, right?

Okay, well, it's got to be one of you little puppies.

Okay, well, now I'm lost.

Okay, well, then, why don't I give you a little refresher.

Okay, well, where... do you have the keys?

Okay, what the hell is this?

Okay, what's that supposed to mean?

Okay, yes, yes. Okay, fine, fine.

Okay, you ready?

Okay? Hell, he's probably already in Hawaii,

Okay? There's no need to freak out.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Forget this mess.

Okay. Okay, fine.

Okay. Okay, uh, new deal

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Uh, oh...

Okay. Well, I'm with you in theory.

On guys?

On the bright side,

On the fact that you denied air conditioning

On the other hand, nobody got hurt, so...

On the whole staying in Malibu thing?

One minute.

One music turned down, coming at you.

Ooh,

Ooh, couldn't be this little guy, could it?

Ooh, there's Erica.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Oopeedoo.

Or an auto dealership

Or as you probably know it, spider hole.

Or did you conveniently forget

Or do you want us to just hold all our boos

Or if they got to go in the middle of the night

Or makes us wear those friggin' janky jeans.

Or should I say "Noah plan plan."

Or to carrot peel our bodies

Or to decapitate us in our sleep,

Or to, like, you know, rip into our eyeballs with a razor.

Our own, uh, floor, you know.

Out of the lion's foot.

Over.

Paint's wet.

Pat and I are buds, so, uh, you know,

Pat Brown, last man on Earth.

Pat is alive

Pat is alive.

Pat is alive.

Pat is dead!

Pat is dead.

Pat is just a... fantastic...

Pat is sadistically calm.

Pat is very dead.

Pat knows he's awkward.

Pat lives his life in fear, huh?

Pat sucks.

Pat though? Oh, he's great.

Pat, we had some good times,

Pat, what a nice idea.

Pat, you are such a breath of fresh air.

Pat, you shouldn't have, but you did.

Pat!

Pat! Where'd you go off to, bud?

Pat?

Pat?

Pat?

Pat?

Pat? Pat, I'm here with Todd,

Pat... good guy...

Pat's come for us, like a bloodthirsty rat

Pat's come for us! But Tandy will save us.

Pat's dead! Pat's dead.

Pat's going for the eyes.

Pat's on top. Now Tandy's on top,

Pat's trying to get as far away from us as possible.

Pat's way more scared of us than we are of him.

Patricia was one of 21 mouse children.

Peekaboo.

People make the journey.

People often abandon the rules of contraction.

Philip Tandrew Miller, is he alive or is he dead?

Photograph.

Playing judge, jury and executioner.

Please, can we just get to San Francisco already?

Please, don't don't go! Listen,

Please, please, please!

Portland is gonna give us our best chance

Possums, coons,

Pretty self explanatory.

Previously on The Last Man on Earth...

Previously on The Last Man on Earth...

Previously on The Last Man on Earth...

Previously on The Last Man on Earth...

Previously on The Last Man on Earth...

Protective Wiccan symbols, a deck of cards, uh,

Pull over. We can hide in that house!

Punishment accepted.

Purveyor of ice cream.

Put it down! Put that down!

Quarantining Mike, driving Phil out?

Read the room, dude!

Ready to have a baby with you!

Really good fella.

Really?

Relax, Care Bear. We probably just blew a fuse

Relax! I mean, he's just one guy!

Remember, we still got two cars, so if there's anyone

Ridiculous.

Right, Lewis?

Right, T?

Run, run, run! Go!

Run!

Sad boom

Saw Pat alive, and killed him yourself.

See, all I ever wanted was a home

See, I even, uh, misspelled the word "totally."

See, I told you.

See, thanks to Lewis here,

See?

See?

See?

See? She just needed to stretch her legs... totally normal.

Shall we head back to the house?

She dead.

She doesn't know! She's shooting at random!

She murdered someone,

She murdered someone, and I don't think she's processing it.

She overheat, or what?

She still looks radiant.

She will! She loves guns!

She... you can visit, of course, but, uh, you know...

She's fine.

Shh

Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Just follow me.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shh!

Shh. Just let it play out.

Shooting some chairs, huh?

Should've stayed in the truck, bud.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Since I killed that guy?

Since we weren't gonna make it

Sipping from the fresh waters of the Hillsborough River!

Slits seem appropriately... slitty.

Slits seem appropriately... slitty.

So crazy. I mean,

So good! So good! So good!

So I didn't kill him?

So I have created a little makeshift alarm system.

So I lied to him.

So I stay out on the water.

So I've run over a lot of animals.

So it must've been lit, like, 30 minutes ago.

So it's all songs. Okay, my bizzle.

So let's switch up the mojo a little bit.

So much all the time, I figured, why not?

So much blood, rivers of blood!

So much, why don't you just marry it?

So now you just have to kill it.

So now you want us all to hate it

So recent.

So there it is.

So this was all you?

So we can move to wherever you choose.

So we can see how long he's incapacitated.

So what possible reason do you have

So what's the deal? You usin' again?

So why don't we just get back in our arks,

So you could infect me with the virus!

So you could infect me with the virus!

So you're just gonna go?

So, a maybe from Gail.

So, after the Northwest Passage,

So, basically, I just decided to make the beach

So, he's not planning some bloody rampage

So, I propose

So, I really wanted you guys

So, if you could just AC me, full blast

So, instead of, "We're all going to die,"

So, it is what it looks like, huh?

So, let's all just go back and get some sleep!

So, let's imagine she's charging at us with evil intent.

So, Lewis, um, what did you do before all this?

So, Lewis, um, what did you do before all this?

So, on top of the unreliable power,

So, there was this fierce lion,

So, there's a bunch over there.

So, this is just your standard slit trench.

So, uh, Carol and I will take this one.

So, uh, that's gonna serve as constant motivation.

So, uh, these leg designs...

So, uh, you know, I've checked out this entire building,

So, wait. We're just gonna

So, what you do is you just take the ax,

So, you cut the power,

So...

So... bunch, bunch, few, loaded.

Some deranged maniac was on the loose? Huh?

Some kind of government conspiracy.

Somebody is behind this!

Somebody pick a place.

Something must've set him off.

Something's not adding up here.

Son of a bitch!

Sorry not sorry. Over.

Sorry to hear that.

Sorry to hear that.

Sorry, bud.

Sorry, Lewis.

Speak from the heartmouth.

Speak from the heartmouth.

Squirrels, dogs and cats, of course,

Stay with me, Darrell

Stay with me!

Stop it.

Stop! Don't shoot!

Sure.

Sure.

Sure. Sure. Right.

Surprise!

Swing it through the person.

Tail.

Take 'em off!

Take 'em off.

Take a look at this, huh?

Take it, Lewis!

Taking a little snooze, huh?

Taking out the trash, Care Bear.

Talk about taboo!

Talking about where the land mines are.

Tandy approaches.

Tandy delivers a roundhouse kick to the face.

Tandy grabs the hacksaw.

Tandy is going in for more. What a takedown!

Tandy suggests a truce.

Tandy, again, I have no ties to San Francisco.

Tandy, can I talk with you for a minute?

Tandy, did you take a dump in the...

Tandy, he killed someone.

Tandy, he literally wrote on the wall he wants

Tandy, I killed someone!

Tandy, I killed someone.

Tandy, I usually have your back,

Tandy, look at these.

Tandy, look, there are some things you don't know about Pat.

Tandy, no!

Tandy, that is the most beautiful thing

Tandy, there's a trail of blood here.

Tandy, this is no way to live, man!

Tandy, this is very fun,

Tandy, this is violating my parole.

Tandy, we got to tell 'em.

Tandy, we should go with them.

Tandy, what are you doing?

Tandy, where have you been?

Tandy, which is it?

Tandy!

Tandy!

Tandy!

Tandy!

Tandy!

Tandy?

Tandy?

Tandy.

Tandy.

Tandy..

Tandy's asking Lewis to be his friend.

Tap shoes?

Tell me you didn't forget to gas it up.

Tell us what?

Th They're all very well marked

Thank you so much for joining me here.

Thank you, buddy.

Thank you, Lewis.

Thank you, Lewis.

Thank you, Pat.

Thank you, Tandy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks, bud.

Thanks, bud. Hey, um, listen.

Thanks, Care Bear.

Thanks, Pat.

That about the gist of it, Noah?

That area has a few.

That can't be.

That doesn't go away, man.

That doesn't really have anything to do with anything,

That hair is black.

That he will be judged on a different plane.

That I tased him, do you?

That ink's, like, 18, 20 minutes old.

That kind of talk is grounds for a kiss.

That leads to low prices, good value.

That led to this.

That means so much coming from someone as perfect as you.

That might have just been his body seizing.

That must a gray water system.

That Tandy wasn't a dangerous lunatic,

That was already a home to call home.

That was not Pat.

That was sweet of you.

That way, when we hear our singing wall fish,

That we all already know the answer to this.

That when we walk around,

That will protect you treasures...

That you hated riding in these cars, huh?

That.

That's a bad idea. That's a bad idea. He's pissed.

That's collected fabric, Gail.

That's disgusting!

That's exactly what it was designed for, actually.

That's gonna blister.

That's the name of the fella I met.

That's the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me.

That's the nicest thing anybody's ever done for me.

That's the Pat I know.

That's too bad.

That's very "We Are the World" of you.

That's why so many rock and roll marriages

That's...

The answer to this, but I got to ask.

The baby!

The breathing test.

The bunker people to his location.

The bunker people!

The city by the bay!

The friendliest murderer of all time?

The guy with the spiky hair

The home of Alcatraz, Coit Tower,

The house is just right up the path here.

The human brain.

The kicking test.

The Mikes have become one.

The next natural step in our no plan plan

The place chooses us.

The place chooses us.

The power to an entire building, dummies?

The rest of who?

The Santa Monica Pier; isn't that cool?

The stars aligned!

The tickling test.

The tide came in, it triggered the land mines,

The toilets may be broken, but we still got one last flush.

The ugly art displays could skull crush us at any moment.

The vibrations from the land mines

Their names, by height, were Debra, Daniel, Dorothy...

Then came Robert,

Then came Robert,

Then don't go.

Then pumps it down to the toilets.

Then what happened?

Then who is she shooting at?

Then who is your business partner?

Then who the hell is setting off those land mines?!

Then why did you just say you didn't forget?

Then why do you treat us like idiots?

Then, yeah, whatever.

There is a maniac on the loose, and he is pissed at us.

There it is.

There we go, Carol.

There will be no mercy this time.

There, down at the beach.

There's always a few hiccups moving into a new home.

There's always sunshine.

There's one over here.

There's some point to this, sure.

There's some spooky people here with possibly dark intentions.

There's something that brought us all together.

These are for you.

These are frigging rad.

These are not jelly beans.

These are pretty great, huh?

These guys do not look friendly.

They don't need damn directions!

They say that eyebrows are the curtains to the windows

They seem like pretty good guys, right?

They will be unable to locate and murder the cow.

They're adzuki beans dipped in petroleum jelly

They're American treasures, Gail.

They're coming up the path!

They're eyebrows.

They're here.

They're just having fun, right, guys?

They're lonely, they're scared,

Things have not been

Think about your jeans.

Thinking about some general safety measures

This ash is messing with my sinusitis.

This beach is littered with land mines,

This ends now!

This group has a history of throwing people out

This house is a complete disaster,

This is a good man, okay?

This is a good safeguard, you know?

This is a miracle.

This is amazing, guys.

This is Carol's fault for running the AC full blast.

This is fun.

This is great, huh?

This is insane!

This is it for you, Pat.

This is my mess, and I got to clean it up.

This is not the time for petty jealousy, Erica. Over.

This is our home!

This is our home.

This is so if anyone comes into the house,

This is the right move.

This is where we're supposed to go, and now it's all burnt.

This is your captain, Tandy Miller.

This isn't an office building.

This just doesn't feel like a home to me.

This mouse and this lion,

This one. This, uh... this floor.

This one's looking good!

This place is part of who we are, you know?

This.

This'll be with me for the rest of my life.

Those aren't sitting jeans.

Three cheers for Tandy, huh?

Three minutes! Cheese is starting to thaw!

Threw two Ls in there.

Throats and balls!

Throughout the house.

Throw a book at me.

Throwing some of Cher's bocce balls at Cher's vases.

To a pregnant woman.

To be out of the suit, you know?

To cut our heads off and drink our blood!

To do that than San Francisco.

To feel the essence of Pat here, you know?

To fill me with virus.

To get a bunch of new killing supplies?

To have found each other.

To his pied piper.

To just hunker down here for the next few days.

To kill him. Oh.

To lie to us like this?

To lie to us like this?

To look at our precious baby?

To make us leave it.

To our final destination till tomorrow,

To pull the thorn out of the foot.

To see Pat's dead body. You know, desensitize him.

To take off that suit if it weren't for your support.

To the Mikes.

To the soul of your face.

To the very end?

Todd, go get her down from there.

Todd?

Todd?

Todd? Todd? Todd?

Todd? Todd? Todd? Todd?

Toes in the sand, inking up some jorts.

Took him away, just like that.

Touch things.

Touch whatever you want.

Tracking your emotional states,

Triggered the car alarms! That's all!

Trust away!

Trust me.

Try taking your finger off the button.

Trying to ruin this building, Lewis.

Uh oh. Still going.

Uh, a and by the way, let's all give Carol a hand

Uh, boom.

Uh, bring it in, take a knee.

Uh, Freddy was his oldest sibling,

Uh, Gail and I broke up.

Uh, I didn't put up any signs or anything, but it's...

Uh, I'll get straight to the point.

Uh, I've been, y you know,

Uh, like what it sounds.

Uh, long story short...

Uh, Semper Fi. Another marine.

Uh, somebody set a timer

Uh, thank you.

Uh, this is my primary vantage point.

Uh, uh, o okay, okay,

Uh, w we're all a little tired and snippy,

Uh, what is this?

Uh, which, of course, starred Kirby Heyborne, who is in

Uh, who was acting in the movie Midway to Heaven,

Uh, yeah, you bet.

Uh, yeah. I think so. It's been a long time.

Uh, you ever heard the story of the lion and the mouse?

Uh, you know, I was thinking, Tandy, uh...

Uh...

Uh...

Uh... c could you excuse us

Um, sure.

Um...

Um...

Unless you were fooling around with your sriracha sauce...

Uppercut, body blow!

Use your strength!

Vancouver is obviously the place that we need!

Vancouver's only, like, 15 hours away.

Very hot. Very hot.

Vomit. Forgot about the vomit.

W Well, let me out.

W Wet.

Wait a minute.

Wait, so I I didn't kill him?

Wait, uh, jean art?

Wait, what are you saying?

Wait, what do I do? What do I do?

Wait, what's this? Tandy's offering to spare Pat's life.

Wait, where you going?

Walk me through them.

Want to take a gander?

Was that Pat?

Watch out!

Watch your back, Martha Stewart. Rest in peace.

Watching you.

We are now officially out of Los Angeles.

We can finally ditch the the camping stoves

We can't just give up!

We can't just go off into the night.

We come in peace.

We come in... peace.

We could sleep in these chaises.

We don't choose the place.

We don't choose the place.

We don't know everything about everyone.

We don't need a plan.

We get it, Todd!

We got a brand spankin' new 1986 prison bus,

We got to come clean.

We had a real good connection.

We made this our home is because of the power,

We need to do a better job at figuring out who

We need to figure out where we're going.

We need to figure out where we're going.

We need to get out of here. This place is a nightmare!

We need to get out of here. This place is a nightmare.

We realized this person is severely unwell.

We stay away for a few days.

We thought it would be a fun vacation, but, uh..

We wear these tappers and we blow these whistles.

We weren't gonna shoot you.

We'll be right up.

We'll know it's someone that needs to be terminated.

We're a family.

We're all heavily armed.

We're all just a bunch of people

We're creating

We're down here on the beach,

We're easy, so, uh...

We're friends, right?

We're having fun, all right?

We're home.

We're in our final descent.

We're not a family.

We're not a package deal.

We're on a frickin' prison bus.

We're safe here.

We're so sorry that we upset you.

We've buried friends.

We've experienced the miracle of life

We've fallen in love,

We've laughed here. We've cried here.

Well, here's to the Mikes.

Well, I don't know.

Well, I have good news for you, man.

Well, I know we talked about it a long time ago,

Well, I like Lewis's energy.

Well, I never take it off on land.

Well, I think everyone should know

Well, I think it was pretty self explanatory.

Well, I wouldn't say, uh, I mean... leader?

Well, I...

Well, I'd do anything with two legs.

Well, I'll tell you what. Tampa would make

Well, I'm already using the biggest tool there is.

Well, if you didn't do it, then who the hell did?

Well, it ends with the mouse pulling the thorn

Well, it it... it be.

Well, it's just a general breast theme with cobras.

Well, let me tell you, I've been living there for a while,

Well, look at this.

Well, may I remind you, you killed someone,

Well, must be from heat poisoning.

Well, Pat clearly came down here to get to his boat.

Well, rent must be dirt cheap.

Well, San Francisco's ears must be burning,

Well, should be nice and warm for you down there in hell.

Well, thank you for finally acknowledging my perfection.

Well, thank you for the assessment.

Well, that sounds fun.

Well, that's got to drive you crazy. Boom.

Well, then you and I have very different processes.

Well, there are some things that you don't know about Pat.

Well, this is just great.

Well, this is totally, totally unrelated, but, uh...

Well, we just feel so bad about murdering your friend.

Well, what do we do now?

Well, what if Lewis and I don't want to go to Napa?

Well, yeah, I told 'em what they needed to hear.

Well, you know what they say,

Well, you know, you acknowledge it yourself

Well, your heart's in the right place.

Well... amazing.

Well... good talk.

Went for the same place, would you believe it. Gurg.

What a difference an hour makes.

What a gentleman.

What a wonderful turn of events.

What am I saying?

What are all these jelly beans?

What are we dealing with here? He's crazy, right?

What are we doing?

What are we gonna do about the others?

What are we gonna do?

What are you doing in here?

What are you doing?!

What are you saying?

What are you talking about, Tandy?

What are you up to next?

What do these take, like, an hour to burn?

What do you mean, this one?

What do you mean?

What do you need, Tandy?

What do you say, Lewis?

What do you think?

What do you think?

What do you think?

What else I got here?

What gave me away, Todd?

What happened to your face?

What if Pat comes here and finds us?

What is happening?!

What is it to you, actually?

What possible reason do you have

What the hell was that?

What the hell, Tandy?!

What the hell?

What the hell?

What the hell?

What the hell's he talking about?

What was your brother's name?

What you got there?

What, Tandy?

What, uh, Pat and I just blew up

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? The boat's gone. We're safe now.

What?!

What?!

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's the deal with Pat?

What's up with the suit?

What's wrong?

What's wrong?

Whatever it is, I'm sure it's gonna be great.

When he was loading up that ark.

When he, like, took out those... ?

Where are the rest of 'em?

Where have you been all day?

Where he comes back to stab us in our hearts,

Where the land mines are, right?

Where their intestines shoot out their butts.

Where to?

Where to?

Where's what's gonna come from?

Wherever you are is the perfect home.

Whether it was by, you know, chance or fate,

Whew!

Which was written and directed by Scott S. Anderson,

While we discuss your fate?

Who did a small part in the show Nashville with Katie Couric.

Who happened to meet at the end of the world.

Who is shooting at us?

Who pees off the back of pickup trucks,

Who picked 30 year old novelty cars for a road trip.

Who the hell are you?

Who wants snacks?

Who wants the second floor?

Who was driving the A Team van?

Who would put a patio furniture store in the middle of nowhere?

Who, uh, died shortly after mousebirth.

Who's Aimless Lee and why would we drive him around, huh?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lewis.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Whoa.

Why did you put wire cutters in my coffee?

Why do you have such a tent in your shorts about these guys?

Why don't we eat?

Why don't we pull up a chaise,

Why don't you just ask him?

Why God, why?!

Why I'm doing what, Tandy?

Why in the hell would I even do that?

Why, did someone tell you my name was "Serious"?

Why?

Why? It's been working out so far.

Why'd you ever think a switch like that would turn on

Why'd you... why'd you do it?

Will be the plan phase

With excitement to pick rooms and start moving in.

With these signs that, uh, Carol made.

With what will he use

Without introducing a troublemaker

Would you mind, uh, helping me out?

Wouldn't it be nice if he did that?

Wow, this thing really works, huh?

Wow!

Wow.

Wrong answer.

Y You know, I, uh...

Y'all ready to get your San Fran on?

Yeah,

Yeah, blood, stool, vomit.

Yeah, but this is a hunk of plastic.

Yeah, but what they did finish is frigging awesome.

Yeah, but, I mean, he's gonna be fine, right?

Yeah, come on. The threat is over.

Yeah, does he try too hard sometimes? Maybe.

Yeah, he's mad as a cut snake.

Yeah, I'm with Lewis.

Yeah, I've actually never been there, so...

Yeah, it's all right, Carol. All is forgiven.

Yeah, let's get you

Yeah, maybe he sent the boat off to make it look like he left,

Yeah, okay, babe, tell you what.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, please don't touch her.

Yeah, pretty common name.

Yeah, probably at the end.

Yeah, so I'm thinking just maybe

Yeah, sure am.

Yeah, sure thing, ding a ling.

Yeah, sure, okay.

Yeah, Tandy, he needs to leave.

Yeah, that was fake.

Yeah, that's 'cause when you're there,

Yeah, they must've not finished it before the virus hit.

Yeah, we're still on this. You're not over him, are you?

Yeah, well, I think you look great, Tandy.

Yeah, well, Tandy's the idiot

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you know, I'm I'm sure it is.

Yeah, your brows look insane

Yeah!

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. I can't believe there's a working toilet, guys.

Yeah. Love can be a Category 5 suck icane.

Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. That's normal.

Yeah. Totally normal.

Yeah...

Yep, definitely done within the last hour.

Yep. Gave it all my lovin',

Yep. I'm going back.

Yes, I can, and I have to, Carol.

Yes, I do, okay?

Yes, Pat, yes.

Yes, very much so.

Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes? Really?

Yes.

You are such an emotional minefield

You are, bud.

You better watch your step there, Dudley,

You breaking up with me?

You can go wherever the hell you want to now,

You could have just told Todd you came back to the house,

You did the right thing.

You don't like my song?

You don't think that Lewis was upset

You don't want to ride with, just hop in the other car.

You feel better?

You freakin' jack weed!

You give me a pair of 501s and a Sharpie,

You give up?

You got it.

You have a real connection with, and she needs you right now.

You have another girlfriend, Todd.

You have not been to San Francisco?

You just peed, like, ten minutes ago.

You just speak from your heartmouth

You just take your finger

You knew him best, Lewis.

You know better than that.

You know I do that from time to time.

You know me. I'm an expert at sneaking around.

You know that story you were telling me

You know where it is; you stormed it earlier

You know, I finally had a breakthrough with Melissa.

You know, I gave it my blessing. Whatever.

You know, I had a friend like that.

You know, I just worry because

You know, I know people are a little uneasy

You know, I know...

You know, I never been good with people.

You know, I was pumped when you were just Asian.

You know, I'm getting

You know, I'm so proud of you for letting

You know, it seems like she turned a corner.

You know, it took me a while to realize

You know, it was just a classic

You know, it's a perfect plan. 'Cause then,

You know, it's famously homosexual.

You know, it's just weird.

You know, lightning, friction from a severe sandstorm,

You know, Melissa and I, we're we're gonna find

You know, since you balded yourself.

You know, Tandy,

You know, that's just a small spattering

You know, this is gonna sound selfish,

You know, to me, feels like we're the Partridge Family.

You lied!

You lied!

You like hair?

You never mix business with pleasure, bud.

You okay down there, bud?

You okay?

You packed Gordon.

You should be hoping you killed him,

You should really see this before you go. It's really cool.

You should've told me.

You shut the hell up!

You still deserve a proper burial.

You sure? 'Cause I noticed a look when I zotzed him.

You walk around,

You want to murder me! You want to kill me!

You went on vacay with your business partner?

You were a bad guy.

You were gay.

You were lovers with your business partner?

You, uh...

You!

You'll love 'Frisco. Oh, he'll love 'Frisco

You're a big fake.

You're a hero, Todd. He was a bad guy.

You're as fake as those stupid eyebrows.

You're confused.

You're flirting with me.

You're gonna pull through this, buddy!

You're gonna punch you in the face?

You're gonna take the whole floor?

You're in pretty good spirits, huh?

You're lucky to have a leader like that.

You're not doing shirts today?

You're not gonna regret this.

You're not gonna regret this.

You're really taking this hard.

You're the only thing that matters to me in this world,

You're thinking about him, aren't you?

You're thinking about this all wrong.

You're welcome.

You're welcome.

You're... ready?

Your angels, your demons,

Your face lit up like you were watching the world's best porn.

Your head or your heart?

Your Mike is my Mike.

Yup.

55 minutes. Maybe even 50.

Aah!

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪ Oh, God, do you think that's Pat?

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog... ♪ Good bye, Billy.

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog... ♪ Good bye, Billy.

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog... ♪ Good bye, Billy.

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog... ♪ Good bye, Billy.

♪ On the tenth day of... ♪ Okay, that's enough, Tandy!

a tough time lately. Oh, yeah?

Ah. Thanks, buddy. Gonna need that back.

All right, Vancouver. That's crazy!

All right. Go out.

All right. Okay.

and loving coastal breezes. Montana.

Are you freakin' high? Yeah, we need a plan.

at dinner. That's actually not a bad idea, Tandy.

Beetlejuice? Tandy, we have enough problems here

can you top me off? Oh, yeah.

Carol. Oh...

Carol. Wowee.

Circus performers, too. Yeah.

Damn! Damn it.

Do you have a gun? Melissa,

Drop it, blondie. You drop it!

Easy, take it easy! Put 'em down!

Eh, it's fine

excuse me for a moment, please? Yeah.

from every angle. Okay.

Frozen pizza! Yeah!

Gail. Keep it moving.

Good God. Todd,

Got it. O... kay.

He brought us together. Really?

He's gay. Mm hmm.

He's not going to. You don't know that for sure.

Help me with this. Okay.

Hey, hey! Pat, Pat, Pat, no, no, no, it's okay.

Hey! Hey! No!

Hey. Oh, Tandy. Hi.

Hip, hip, huzzah! Join in... Huzzah!

Hoo! Yeah!

how 'bout this? Okay.

How did it feel? Oh, it felt great.

How do you know? Pretty sure Pat's body's

Huh? He killed someone? Yeah.

huzzah! Huzzah.

I ain't fussy. Well?

I don't care. I want to go home. I know you do,

I got the key! I pity the fool. I pity the fool.

I got to go talk to him. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no.

I see. I mean, you haven't exactly

I'll take it. Hey, that's the spirit!

I'm aware, Tandy. You're aware?

I'm flooring it. Nothing's happening. It's the gas.

I'm making the call here. You know, Tandy,

I'm not finding it. It's not here!

I've been thinking and I'm... Shh...

I've been thinking and I'm... Shh...

Is it? Tandy, you can't do this.

It's nearly freezing. Freezing?

Just pick a freakin' place. God, if you love Tampa

Me, too! I'll go with you!

Me, too! I'll go with you!

Mike. Mike?

Mmm, mmm. ♪ Was a good friend of mine ♪

Mmm. ♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪

Mmm. Oh.

No way. What?

No, really, I... Really?

No, that's spelled correctly. Huh.

No! Boo!

No! No!

No. What?!

No...! No...!

off the thing. Uh, oh... God...

Oh, Carol. Huzzah! Hip, hip, huzzah!

Oh, damn it! He was just here.

Oh, good for us

Oh, is that what this is about? Book.

Oh, Lord on high. Oh...

Oh, my God. The baby.

Oh, my God. No! What?! What?!

Oh, no! Tandy! Oh, oh, oh, oh...

Oh, oh, oh. Ooh...

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Tandy!

Oh. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Uh, anyway, to put everyone at ease,

One vote for Tampa

Or water. Oh, hell,

or without your blessing, okay? No...

Right. Maybe we'll get lucky

Semen. I didn't see that.

Shut up! That's enough, Tandy!

Sorry, bud, I hate it. What's the connection?

Sorry. Oh, geez.

Sorry. Sorry.

stay around for a spell? Or one of us.

Sure. Thank you.

Sure. Four works for me. Oh.

Tandy, close the door. Hey, I'm trying.

Tandy, where you going? The baby!

Tandy! And he's got a gun.

than previously advertised. Oh, that's too bad.

That's my decision. Yeah,

This was just an accident. Yeah.

to a massage chair, Carol. Ugh.

Ugh! Oh, my God.

w we have to be honest, right? Yes.

Wait, down on the beach? Yeah.

Want to play a game of I Spy? I'm gonna take a nap.

We need weapons! Yeah.

Well, good for you. No, good for you.

Well, of course. Sure.

Were you exposed to the virus?! No, no, I promise!

What do you mean? They're gonna want to come back here.

What? He's alive.

What? No.

What? Todd?

What? What?

What? Yeah, he's alive.

What? You specifically told me to... No! Shut up!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! It's okay, huh? They're just razzin' me.

Would you like that, Pat? Yeah.

Wow! Hey, Pat.

Wow. I call it "cow moo flage."

Wow. Not to be a stick in the mud,

Yeah, I guess. I could eat.

Yeah, that's fabric. God.

Yeah. Come on.

Yeah. How'd you get rid of the boat?

Yeah. I see.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Yep, yep. Mm hmm. We did.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes! Okay!

You got a problem with his brows? What?! Okay!

You got it. Now, if I may have the floor

You packed Gordon. You haven't exactly

you saved us from a ropeable psycho. Yeah.

You want to be his friend? Yeah.

You're making a big mistake. No, guys!

You're not even gonna look at it? Look at what?

'cause he has no eyebrows.

'cause he was going to alert

'Cause I can pick another one for myself, if...

'Cause I know the path is laid out before me now.

'Cause I told him to tell me he didn't forget to gas it up

'cause if you didn't, he'll be coming for us.

'cause it's right up ahead.

'Cause you already touched our hearts.

'cause you are no longer welcome here.

'cause you're about to dip your toes in a gator pond.

'Cause... you know?

'K Kay, man, calm down, okay, man?

"A bi corn"?

"I'm Noah,

"Pier today, gone tomorrow."

"Together? I hardly knew 'er. Boom.

"turn the frown upside down" deal.

"We can't just go off into the night.

"We got to stick together.

"We have to go on into the day. Boom.

"We're Noah's ark. Look at us.

"your face lit up like you were watching the world's best porn.

♪ A Partridge Family prison bus ♪

♪ And a Partridge Family prison bus ♪

♪ And in this world of distant lovers ♪

♪ And we can build this dream together ♪

♪ Bah, bah, bah ♪

♪ But I helped him drink his wine ♪

♪ But I helped him drink his wine ♪

♪ But I helped him drink his wine ♪

♪ Dun, dun, dun ♪

♪ Five Hoda Kotbs... ♪

♪ For his nostalgic tale ♪

♪ Four Willie Geists, three Cokie Roberts ♪

♪ Frozen pizza ♪

♪ Frozen pizza ♪

♪ Frozen pizza ♪

♪ Frozen pizza, frozen, frozen pizza, frozen... ♪

♪ Frozen, frozen pizza ♪

♪ Frozen, frozen pizza ♪

♪ Frozen, frozen pizza ♪

♪ Good times never felt so ♪

♪ He wanted to find... ♪

♪ I never understood a single word he said ♪

♪ I've been inclined... ♪

♪ If you're going to San Francisco ♪

♪ In a fireworks factory. ♪

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪ ♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪

♪ Jeremiah was a... ♪

♪ Jeremiah was... ♪

♪ Jeremiah, Jeremiah ♪

♪ Make sure to set off all the fireworks ♪

♪ My true love gave to me... ♪

♪ Never really sayin' what ♪

♪ Never understood a single word he said ♪

♪ Never understood a single word he said ♪

♪ Never understood... ♪

♪ Nine Matt Lauers, eight Katie Courics ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us now ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us! ♪

♪ Now ♪

♪ On the first day of travel, my true love gave to me ♪

♪ On the tenth day of travel... ♪

♪ Ooh, woo ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Seven Al Rokers, six Savannah Guthries ♪

♪ She musters a smile ♪

♪ Standing strong forever ♪

♪ Sweet Caro... ♪

♪ Sweet Caroline ♪

♪ Touching me ♪

♪ Touching you ♪

♪ Two Willard Scotts ♪

♪ Was a good friend of mine ♪

♪ Was a good friend of mine ♪

♪ Was a good friend of mine ♪

♪ Was a good friend of mine ♪

♪ Was a good friend of mine ♪

♪ We'll still have each other ♪

♪ Whoo... ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yet to be created ♪

♪ Goo..

♪ On the second day of travel ♪

♪ To believe in..