💬 The Last Man on Earth

All new Last Man on Earth

All right, a little...

All right. Can I drive?

ALL: ♪ Informer... ♪

And I drop a little caution cone in front of it?

And I knew Old Tandy was truly dead.

And if we did make it down there,

And it's definitely not like them to not leave a note

And left me at that gas station on purpose

And make this our permanent home.

And none of them have "felt right."

And skipped town.

And that's fine.

And that's her skeleton.

And that's why you're the bomb.

And the implication was very strong that if I ever came back there, Phil would kill me.

And then I got your train,

And then unpack them.

And these are my roommates, Bernice Wu and Glen Sawchuck.

And this is Bernice's room.

And this is Glen's room.

And this is my room.

And two of them are named "Phil Miller"?

And you haven't poured any yet.

And you opened it.

And you sprayed me with the sweet scent of selflessness.

And you're the man I want to kiss for the rest of my life.

And you're the whole reason I changed.

And, in short, my position on Syria is, uh... don't know.

Another goose egg

Anybody here?

Anybody?

Are you filibustering? Yeah, I'm filibustering.

Are you gonna keep that all to yourself, or what?

Aw.

Aye...!

Babe Ruth's bat.

Bam.

Because of our fight.

Because there's no way in Norway we're going to Malibu.

Beefed it bigger than I've ever beefed it.

Beefed it.

Ben Franklin?

Bingo.

Boo!

Boom, boom.

Boom, I still got it.

Boom.

Brice!

But don't bring Tandy.

But for her, other than me, she's all alone.

But how would I do that? I mean...

But I already sent out, like, every train in Tucson.

But I am not going back to Tucson.

But I can't go there. I mean, Phil would kill me

But I don't know if I can live with myself if I don't tell her.

But I'm even more terrified of you not being happy.

But I'm just getting kind of sick

But it's all gonna be worth it

But it's been, like, six months.

But not as much as I wanted to see you.

But one thing I am sure of: The situation is very Syri ous.

But she'll come eventually, right?

But the reunion's just gettting started.

But this was a flippin' national treasure.

But when you're making a sacrifice for someone,

But you're worms, okay?

But, I mean, I still feel bad for her.

Bye, White House!

Can't you see how much fun I'm having?

CAROL (manly voice): So lonely.

Carol, about that...

Carol, I had no choice

Carol, I just found it.

Carol, I just had a bad dream.

Carol, I'm right here.

Carol, I'm sorry, but I think I'm about to put it to a vote!

Carol, it's very complicated.

Carol, no.

Carol, the only place I can't go is Tucson.

Carol, where are you?

Carol, world's largest plate's coming up!

CAROL: Bye, Stealth Bomber.

CAROL: Hardy har har.

CAROL: We're the last people on Earth.

CAROL: Yeah.

Carol!

Carol! Come on!

Carol! Where are you?

Carol?

Carol.

Carol...!

Cheers.

Come here, give me some sugar.

Come on, it's fun.

Come on.

Could use a little razzmatazz, though.

Damn it, there's infinity Speedy Pumps!

Did you get my train?

Diego.

Direct words from you.

Do me a favor... turn your guys' heads, please. Thank you.

Dolly Madison.

Don't you dare say a thing, you little friggin' blabbermouth.

Driven out into the desert and left there for dead?

Each object in here is hand crafted by myself as a cherished tribute to a friend

Even if she drove ten miles an hour the whole way,

Ever.

Fair enough.

Fine, if you want to go back and get the bomb,

For Tucson.

Four banana, five banana, six banana, seven ba...

GAIL: ♪ 'Tective mon he said, Daddy, me Snow ♪

GAIL: ♪ Informer, you no say ♪

GAIL: Oh, my God. Gordon!

GAIL: You killed him! Gordon!

Gary, now's not the time to ask if I'm certain it was a Speedy Pump.

Get in here.

Girl, you've been at it all day; let me tap in.

Git!

Git! Git!

Go find Carol!

Go up! Git!

God, Carol.

God! Where the hell is Carol?

Good night

Good night.

Good. (Chuckles)

Good. Good.

Good. I'm glad you feel that way.

Gordon. I don't know what to do. Gordon?

Got to add one more charm on there. Huh?

Got to use helium next time.

Guess again.

Guys are real quiet today.

Ha! (Chuckles)

Haven't given up on them just yet.

He got it.

He just got the wind knocked out of him.

He was trying not to get the virus.

He's coming back. (Sighs)

He's not coming back.

He's really let himself go.

He's... he's okay. He's gonna be fine.

Her own house isn't good enough.

Hey, Carol?

Hey, you know who would probably also like it here?

Hey...

Hi, Melissa.

Hmm.

How 'bout you, Melissa?

How 'bout you're not safe? From me.

How about tomorrow I go back to that parking lot

How long do I have to wear this blindfold?

How's your appetite, huh? You hungry for some plate?

How's your milk...

Hyah!

Hyah! Git!

I can do this.

I can't live in Tucson.

I can't tell you. 'Cause it's a...

I deserve this!

I deserve to be alone!

I don't know how to put a bomb back in that little thingy.

I don't know if I want to commit to living in the White House, Phil.

I don't know.

I feel so guilty for lying, but I don't know what to do.

I forgot to toast to the dry heat and low humidity.

I found the note.

I friggin' lost her.

I got news for you, dude.

I got this. I got this.

I have a newfound respect for your craft.

I I don't know how to fly that thing, okay?

I I'm... I'm a scientist, not a pilot, all right?

I just have to keep waiting.

I just want to be a better man for you, Carol.

I just, um, did not expect to be so emotional.

I just...

I knew you were gonna say that.

I knew you'd never change."

I know how much you wanted to see them.

I know it hurts, bud... I've been there...

I know it looks like I went a little cuckoo bananas.

I know where you went.

I know, Phil.

I know.

I let down everyone I care about.

I like your top.

I lost her forever.

I made out of chewing tobacco and toothpaste.

I mean, am I enough for you?

I mean, at least I have you guys.

I mean, do you not remember me getting, like, tackled,

I mean, how many Speedy Pumps can there be?

I mean, I don't know where to even... go.

I mean, I'm in a really tricky situation here.

I mean, if you want to burn all my crap, fine.

I mean, it's the flippin' White House.

I mean, maybe they've cooled off by now.

I mean, she did want to see all those turds.

I mean, was it a gas station?

I mean, we've been looking around.

I mean... could you be happy here,

I only did it because I care about you.

I saw these billboards that said "alive in Tucson."

I shouldn't be dismissive of you guys like that

I sure did, you little love conductor.

I thought you turned into Old Tandy

I told you not to step foot in Malibu.

I was there for a week... it was definitely an EMCO.

I was... talking about "Yellow Submarine."

I will not... ever let you...

I won a free ticket.

I would.

I wouldn't lie to you, Care Bear.

I'd probably die of the virus, and who'd take care of you guys?

I'll go down there first to sort of feel them out,

I'll use Bernice's.

I'm a failure.

I'm coming, Phil, I'm coming!

I'm gonna go check for billboards.

I'm gonna go slip into something a little more comfortable.

I'm gonna go take a nap.

I'm gonna sleep in Bernice's room.

I'm here!

I'm just gonna walk in there and lay down the law.

I'm not afraid of y... (screams)

I'm not being a turd, she's being a turd.

I'm not being a turd.

I'm not gonna have sex with you unless we're married.

I'm really nervous. Wait, so...

I'm setting my gems!

I'm so excited. Uh...

I'm so sorry, Brice.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I've gone to Malibu.

I've hit my limit.

If I tell her about the letter,

If that steamroller somehow finds its way to Carol.

If they don't want you, I don't want them.

If you get this letter, we've gone to Malibu.

If you want to be with me, be with me,

In the jewel markets of Monaco?

Is there a chaser?

Is this it?

Is this it? Oh, my G... (laughs)

It doesn't feel right.

It may be the end for Gordon,

It sounded awful.

It was a gas station in Oklahoma.

It wasn't, but, you know, it doesn't matter now.

It would not be safe"?

It's already begun.

It's just...

It's like they'd leave a note or something.

It's not too shabb ay, right?

It's really, uh...

Jackie O no you didn't!

Just 'cause you're worms, okay?

Just get that Carol thermometer

Just give me 27 more bananas!

Just keep driving down this road until you see that Speedy Pump.

Just saying that's where there are other people, Phil.

Just start crossing off streets, 'cause...

Just the fact that you offered is good enough for me.

Just the two of us?

Let's vote on it together, huh? All in favor, say...

Look, I don't mean to be insulting here,

Look, seven people left,

Looking for clues.

Looks like it's just you and me, bud.

Maybe I could bedazzle it for you.

Maybe we could start right there, Phil!

Maybe we could unpack all our bags

Maybe we should get a map or something,

MELISSA: You were gonna leave Todd in the desert.

Michelle Obama.

Mm! Hey, hold on.

Mm.

Mm. Hey,

Mmm... mmm...

Moving on.

Mwah.

My house?

My position on Tucson and its inhabitants remains the same.

Nance?

Next question. Yes. Brice.

Next Sunday on Fox.

Next time, I'm gonna use actual mint instead of mouthwash. Yeah.

Nice beach sweater. Burn.

Nice to see you. It's been a long time.

Nice.

No comment? Okay. Nancy, what about you?

No, Carol, neither of them was the one

No, it doesn't. This looks... absolutely chock full of sanity.

No, look, it's not that easy.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no...

No, that's a great point, Gary.

No, yeah, I get it, Carol. Uh huh. Yeah.

No, you did it to save your skin.

No!

No? Gail? Erica?

No? Todd?

No. I'm fine. Okay.

No. No, I haven't.

No. Probably a robe.

Nobody wants a mint julep? Okay, well, more for me.

Not home. Okay, okay, okay.

Nothing, it's just nothing.

Of all the driving around.

Of course.

Oh, and here's my parents, Carol and Marsha.

Oh, and I want to be a better man for you.

Oh, Carol.

Oh, farts.

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

Oh, God! I miss her, too. Excuse me. I...

Oh, hi.

Oh, I don't think so.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, my God

Oh, my God, I swear to you...

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, she studied anatomy.

Oh, shoot.

Oh, Speedy Pump, a Speedy Pump.

Oh, Speedy Pump.

Oh, thank God. Speedy Pump.

Oh, where'd we last stop?

Oh!

Oh! Mm.

Oh.

Oh. Are we doing this?

Oh...

Okay, devil's advocate:

Okay, I got it! I got it, Phil!

Okay, I'm about to put it to a vote, too.

Okay, I'm gonna go masturbate.

Okay, look, I'll admit, I'm friggin' terrified

Okay, relax, relax!

Okay, the moment of truth.

Okay, what... what's that supposed to mean?

Okay, you don't know that they did this, Phil.

Okay.

Okay. We're staying in Tucson.

Old Tandy is dead.

One banana, two banana, three ba...

One living person?

Ooh, Carol.

Ooh. Yummy.

Oprah's, LeBron's,

Or family member who died from the virus.

Or paralyze me or both.

OTHERS: ♪ A licky boom boom down ♪

Our mission? Friendship.

Out of my... sight... again.

PHIL (deep voice): I may be able to help you with that.

PHIL (deep voice): Stick your copper tongue down my mouth!

PHIL 2: ♪ Took me to the station, black on my hand ♪

PHIL 2: Don't even think about coming back to Tucson.

PHIL 2: Gordon!

Phil ibustering? Get it, Phil?

Phil, I got the tequila!

Phil, I just said something really funny!

Phil, Phil, I'm here, Phil!

Phil, what's wrong? Is everything okay?

Phil, you didn't.

Phil, you got me drunk.

PHIL: Bunch of friggin' BS.

PHIL: Friggin' huge plate up there.

PHIL: It's been five days. Where the hell is she?

PHIL: Oh, you think you're a pretty good singer, huh?

PHIL: Oh! Insurance company is gonna hear about that one.

PHIL: So what do you think of this place?

PHIL: They're in Malibu.

PHIL: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

PHIL: What are you doing, Carol?

PHIL: Yep, there they are, the whole group of turds.

Phil!

Phil! Phil!

Phil?!

Please come.

Plug your ears, too.

Poor Carol.

Previously on The Last Man on Earth...

Prosecco?

Prosecco.

Put it in there.

Put that bill into committee, Phil.

Rawr.

Right up in there and get a good, solid reading.

Right where you left me, at the EMCO station.

Right, Terry?

Say to the group here?

Say we never figured out what happened to those guys.

She could be anywhere right now.

She did tell me that all she needs is me.

She thinks they're here... which they're not.

She'd still be here by now.

She's being a turd.

She's gonna want to go to Malibu.

She's in Tucson.

She's such a picky little turd.

Shouldn't we all be together?

So it's Speedy Bump with a red truck.

So nice to visit your hometown.

So that makes me feel a little bit better.

So this is my knitting group. We were known as KWA: Knitters With Attitude. (gasps)

So what do you say, huh?

So where's Tandy?

So why isn't she here?

So, how 'bout New Phil, huh?

So, uh, Care Bear, you got anything you want to...

Something.

Sorry, little traffic.

Sorry, Nancy.

Speedy Pump with a red truck.

Speedy Pump! Red truck! Fruit stand!

Speedy Pump.

Stop, Phil!

Supposedly pretty big.

Surprise!

Take their temperature,

Talk about winning the arms race.

Tell me all about it.

Terry, I'm sorry.

Thank you for doing the right thing for me.

Thank you for the surprise, Phil.

Thank you.

Thanks a lot, Canary Islands.

That was easy.

That won't be necessary, Phil. It's fine.

That's a whale of a good idea.

That's not Carol!

That's tiring.

The mayor of Tucson is back to claim his throne.

The search continues.

The Sultan of friggin' Swat.

The White House doesn't feel right.

Then pack your bags.

Then while I was passed out, you drove me to Malibu,

There was, like, a red truck parked out front.

There we go.

There's got to be someone out there.

There's some new guy.

There's the stupid friggin' red truck, and the fruit stand.

These are my last two flares.

They say the second time is not the charm.

Think this might be salvageable.

This is a sculpture of Phil

This is all they left. They threw a final

This is all your fault, you friggin' dong.

This is gonna work out great.

This is it! This is it! Ha!

This is it. This is the one. Carol! Where you at?

This isn't home.

To go there, okay?

To make that sacrifice for me.

To Malibu, and you can't stop him.

To my Honest Abe.

To Tucson.

Tucson can suck it, and you can go ahead and suck it for asking. Next question.

Tucson? Are you talking about Tucson?

Tucson's my home.

Tucson's the one place she thinks I would never come.

Uh, hello, everyone.

Uh, I was gonna tell you about it.

Uh, if it's so easy, why don't you guys do it?

Uh, maybe we should go find the others.

Um...

USA! USA!

Very reassuring.

Want to go back to the cul de sac and see the others?

Want to go to Malibu?

Was it the one where your penis falls off?

Was that the one where your penis falls off?

We are staying in Tucson, lady.

We called ourselves Sawchuck's Angels.

We cannot let that vote pass.

We found 'em. (Chuckles)

We have to try everything at our disposal.

We put a man on the Moon.

We should go back and get that bomb.

We'll go back and get the bomb.

We're Americans

We're staying in Tucson.

We're the last people on Earth, Phil. Shouldn't we all be together?

Well, gee, let me give you the grand tour.

Well, it's, uh,

Well, this is a grade A fustercluck.

Well, you know, it doesn't have to just be a visit.

West.

Wh... where were you?

Whale Earnhardt Jr., Eddie Van Whalen.

Whale on Jennings. Boom.

What a godforsaken tool!

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

What do you say we have a little drink to celebrate?

What more could you want out of a home?

What part of "I'm setting my gems" do you not understand?!

What the heck is her problem?

What the hell?

What was I thinking?

What?

When I was at that EMCO station...

When you care about somebody,

Where are you, Carol?

Where did you get such an expensive T shirt?

Where do we even start?

Where else could she go? She's got no place else to go.

Where is everybody?

Where my penis falls off, okay?

Where... where's Brice?

White House isn't good enough.

Who's that guy?

Why's she being so picky?

Wish I had somebody to make out with.

Wow, you guys.

Wow!

Yeah, I know it's a crazy idea,

Yeah, I wanted to see them.

Yeah, why'd you have to threaten me?

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, I remember.

Yeah, yeah... yeah... (stammering)

Yeah, you better run. 'Cause Phil Miller's on his way

Yeah.

Yeah. I got a chaser for you.

Yeah. I just had a crazy double dream.

Yeah. Um, hey, cowgirl.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yes, I did fart.

Yes, I did.

Yes! I won a free ticket.

You already were a better man.

You can quote me on that.

You couldn't give me, like,

You did have a choice, and you chose to lie.

You didn't ask me. I'm just doing it,

You die for this crap.

You don't ask them if it's okay...

You go, girl. Here, give me high five.

You got this, Phil.

You had a brother? I didn't know that.

You haven't seen a beach till you've seen a California beach.

You just do the right thing for them.

You just go ahead and do it.

You just made me discover electricity in my shorts.

You kept this from me?

You know what?

You know, the Beatles wrote a song

You know, we've been to Graceland and Dollywood,

You little skunk.

You made your choice.

You mean it, Phil?

You step to me? I step to you.

You told them I was dead?

You would do that for me?

You'll know the one.

You're done here, Tandy.

You're in good hands. It's me, Carol.

You're my Honest Abe.

You're not thinking this through.

You're right, you're right.

Your stupid sleep apnea machine.

15.26...

28.6 north.

(Erica gasps) MELISSA: Carol!

(laughing loudly)

(others gasping) PHIL 2: Gordon!

(soft, mechanical whirring) CAROL: Come on.

♪ A thing, pick up my line ♪ PHIL: Who are you?

♪ All I want to do is ♪ (gun fires four times)

♪ And ♪ (cash register dings)

♪ Slap me in the face, take all my gap ♪ (laughter)

♪ Till the end of the day ♪ (Phil whooping, Carol laughing)

about what we just did. "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?"

And what's wrong with Delaware? Well, there's no one here.

Carol, come on. It's just not like them.

Carol, there's no one anywhere anymore. That's not exactly true.

Carol... Phil...

Do you want to talk about it? God.

felt good. You know what they say.

Fine! Fine!

Fine. Fine!

Fine. Fine.

GAIL: Help! MELISSA: Push him on his back.

God, you scared me. GAIL: Oh!

Hey. (squealing)

how do we proceed from here? Don't worry.

I do? Oh...

I'm blocking it! Block it!

I'm glad we worked this out. (Chuckles)

in Tucson! Carol, I can't ask you

Last man on Earth. Last woman on Earth.

Mmm. Boom, I still got it.

Mmm. That one

Nine banana, ten banana, 11... (engine starts)

No. How 'bout the second dream?

No. No, no, not Delaware.

non consensually? Sorry, Carol.

Not on our watch. There's too much pork in that bill.

Oh, your dad was named Carol, too? No, Marsha.

Oh. No, thank you. Okay.

Oh. Okay. Yeah.

Oh... MELISSA: Gordon, are you okay?

Okay, okay. Hey, Phil, relax.

Okay. Thanks... thanks, Phil. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Have fun.

or something. Yeah.

PHIL 2: Gordon! ERICA: Should I get some water?

Phil, I'm good. Carol...

PHIL: USA! USA! ♪ Til we go sleep at night... ♪

Pretty good mint julep, huh? Mm hmm.

So you ever been to L.A.? No.

So, where should we go? You're staying with me?

Ting! You remembered.

To your Honest Abe. Oh, oh.

Tucson, huh? Okay.

Way too much pork. Block that vote.

We just don't know. No, I don't care. Screw 'em.

We're going to Malibu. We're staying

Welcome to Delaware. Oh! My old apartment?

Well, until we get there. Where are we going?

What? CAROL: Let me see.

What? It's just...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good.

Yeah. It's very nice.

Yeah. You want some more?

Yes, I do, I... No, no, no.

You mean the Speedy Pump. No.

You okay? Oh, yeah. I'm good.

... I lost faith in you.

'Cause I ain't afraid of nothing or nobody.

'Cause I was thinking that tomorrow,

'cause that's what people do for those about whom they care!

'Cause that's what people do for those about whom they care.

'Cause your name is Phil.

"Carol...

"Hold for 30 seconds."

"Not be safe." What, are you gonna kill me? Friggin' turds.

"Phil, you skunk.

"screw Phil" party, burned down my house,

("Till the End of the Day" by the Kinks plays)

(Carol and Phil scream)

(Carol grunting, yelling)

(Carol laughs)

(chuckles sadly)

(chuckles)

(chuckles) (whoops)

(chuckles) To Tucson.

(clattering) CAROL: Phil!

(coughs)

(counts rapidly)

(crash)

(crying)

(door creaks shut)

(engine idling)

(gasps)

(gasps) Want another one?

(gasps) You little vixen.

(giggles)

(giggles) Thank you, Phil.

(groans)

(grunting)

(grunts)

(gun fires four times)

(horn honking)

(laughing)

(laughing) (howling)

(laughs)

(low rumbling)

(motor rumbling)

(panting)

(passionate moaning, kissing sounds)

(Phil sighs)

(playing lively melody)

(pop)

(popping)

(quiet gasp)

(quietly): Carol.

(scoffs) Hold your horses, Phil!

(screaming, gasping)

(screaming)

(screams)

(sets bottle down)

The Last Man on Earth - Season 2
"The Last Man on Earth" is a popular television show that aired from 2015 to 2018. Created by Will Forte, the series follows the comedic journey of Phil Miller, played by Forte, who believes himself to be the last man left on Earth after a deadly virus wipes out humanity. In Season 2, Phil's solitude is interrupted as he discovers that he is not alone after all. Other survivors begin to emerge, leading to unexpected challenges and hilarious adventures. The second season introduces new characters, testing the dynamics of the group and providing fresh comedic elements to the show. The cast of "The Last Man on Earth" is talented and diverse, lending their exceptional acting skills to bring the eccentric characters to life. Alongside Will Forte, the main cast members include Kristen Schaal as Carol Pilbasian, Phil's quirky and upbeat wife, and January Jones as Melissa Chartres, a no-nonsense woman who adds an unpredictable element to the group. Additional cast members include Mel Rodriguez as Todd Rodriguez, Mary Steenburgen as Gail Klosterman, and Cleopatra Coleman as Erica Dundee - all of whom navigate the challenges of living in a post-apocalyptic world while dealing with their own idiosyncrasies. The show's writing is clever, delivering sharp and witty dialogue that keeps viewers engaged with the characters' relationships and the unique circumstances they face. The humor is often a combination of slapstick comedy and dry wit, providing a refreshing and distinctive take on the post-apocalyptic genre. The Last Man on Earth - Season 2 is filled with hilarious moments, unexpected plot twists, and heartfelt interactions between its incredibly talented cast. The mixture of comedy and drama creates a unique viewing experience that is both entertaining and thought-provoking. If you are a fan of "The Last Man on Earth" or simply interested in exploring the show, you can play and download the sounds, music, and dialogue from Season 2 here. Immerse yourself in the world of Phil, Carol, and the rest of the survivors as they navigate the challenges of being the last people on Earth and discover the true meaning of friendship, love, and humanity. Don't miss out on the opportunity to enjoy the laughter and emotion that "The Last Man on Earth" - Season 2 offers. So sit back, relax, and let the captivating storylines and incredible performances transport you to a world unlike any other.
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