Master of None (2015) - Season 3 Edit

A bit of a separation at the moment.

A failure would be staying with some fool

A follow up appointment, for you to come in and see Doctor?

After all of that, it might not even work. I might not even get a kid out of it.

Again, it's throughout, we have the original features.

Again. You are thinking about yourself.

Ah. Oh, hey, uh, uh.

Alicia Jackson?

Alicia, can I make an appointment,

Alicia?

Alicia… Alicia, I'm… I'm sorry.

All I do is think about you. I'm thinking about us all the time!

All right, babe. Have a good one. [groans]

All right, baby. Bye.

All right, but do you understand

All right, darling.

All right, Mommy loves you, too.

All right, so, we're just gonna have a look around.

All right, so, you know the routine.

All right, we're getting this done. I just… I just came here to tell you that.

All right? You, my darling, are a bad bitch.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. All right.

All right. Deep breath in.

All right. Every week, we go to the farmers market.

All right. It's looking good. It's looking very good.

All right. Let's just have a little…

All right. Well, I'm gonna wash my face mask off.

All right. Who all gonna be there?

All right. You pick something to watch.

All that time, and all that energy, like, and…

All the original features are here.

Amen.

And a bruise on my forehead, but…

And a poem written in light, music and love."

And after turning 40, it's very difficult to become pregnant

And apparently, the policemen were like, um, "You gotta keep a straight face."

And at one point, we had to get in a tractor.

And by the way, we stayed at their place,

And everything's wonderful.

And get rid of you.

And get to the hospital at 5:00 if you was coming from Baltimore?

And he sticks his head out and says,

And he was attached to a breathing machine.

And hopefully, achieve pregnancy.

And how's your new job goin'?

And I asked you out on a date.

And I checked, we can do it next week on the 16th.

And I didn't make the cut.

And I feel horrible.

And I got, like, a sc**** on my leg,

And I gotta get some sleep 'cause I got that interview tomorrow.

And I have no idea how to start again.

And I just decided to switch into interior design,

And I just… I wanna make my own choices.

And I loved that you used the same caterer, too.

And I think the last one did well,

And I think, honestly, I'm just trying to get it done and put it out there,

And I think, like, part of me resented you for that.

And I tried to convince myself…

And I wanna make sure I can follow you.

And I was like, "Hi, Granny." You know, "How you doin'?"

And I was lookin' at this wall he has.

And I will send that to you, so you have it clear.

And I'm doing so bad.

And I'm not in any shape to drive.

And if I can help with that, I mean, uh… [chuckling] Why would I not do that?

And if you give me that, I'll leave you alone.

And is someone coming to pick you up?

And it's gonna be so many eggs in that petri dish

And it's hard 'cause you're so far away from them,

And my Black ass smelling like weed,

And normally, I can write so fast,

And not believe the bad.

And now, I'm here in a half empty house,

And now, I'm just like everybody else.

And of course the Black one was a slave.

And one time he gave my mom some money

And people said it wasn't shit…

And people split up 'cause of that all the damn time.

And see all these white dudes jerking off into fucking solo cups?

And that you have been trying to conceive with a partner for six months.

And the Marvel guys are not using drops.

And the… [snorts] the only person I'm with is you.

And their… their kid has a little motorized car.

And then have nothing.

And then I'm gonna be okay. [sighs] Okay.

And then it slowly starts to decline.

And then we choose the best embryos to implant into your uterus,

And then you would… You would make your contribution. Your…

And then, I don't know what happened.

And then, pull this upside down.

And then, somehow, it'd be easier. You know?

And then, you pull it out again.

And then…

And there was this "Do not resuscitate" letter

And there were really hard days and really, really hard nights, but…

And there's some nice seating area by the window for breakfast.

And therefore, assumed the risk of, uh, transmitting an infectious disease.

And they have a code for being sucked into a jet engine,

And they may not cover some of the medication.

And through here, we've got a slightly smaller room.

And to be a part of something like that, it would be an incredible honor.

And to have a physical space would be so cool.

And we decided, "Let's keep it church and state."

And we just, like, propose the thing.

And we'll do a blood test in 11,12 days.

And we'll just be at peace and happy.

And we'll just keep the ball rolling from there.

And wearing retro Jordans gets in the car.

And what's mad…

And what's wrong with being like everybody else?

And when I told you what I wanted,

And when it does, you'll be better for it.

And you came… She came up to me, and she was like,

And you can call the office anytime if you have any questions.

And you gave me a bunch of notes that I did not necessarily agree with.

And you know what you never asked me?

And you know what's so fucking funny,

And you know when it's just like they're there, but they're not there.

And you meet someone.

And you're gonna be a bad bitch with me.

And you're not trying to tell me that you're weaker than all of them, are ya?

And you're, like, achieving them.

And your frame of reference for house size is really off.

And, "So that the…"

And, um, we were thinking about donors,

And, you know, see what happens.

And, you know, they would have videos for you…

And… when the success goes away,

Antiperspirant.

Anyway, she gets arrested for… I don't know what she gets arrested for.

Appreciate you, too.

Are we there yet?

Are you gonna be able to afford both?

Are you here for your monitoring appointment?

Are you okay? Are you crying?

Are you scared?

Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?

Are yours?

At the end of the week, it's in the trash. Nothing's cooked.

Babe, Darius is here!

Babe, I've been holding your hand through this whole process.

Babe, you comin' up?

Babe! You coming up soon? I got a surprise for you.

Babe?

Babe? Babe? You asleep?

Baltimore is, like, five hours away.

Bathroom around the corner, if you wanna try it on.

Because it's not going to achieve a pregnancy.

Because it's the only thing she'll actually eat.

Because that's how deeply committed I am to you.

Because that's how you like it.

Because we would have to test and screen his sperm.

Because you are fucking huge.

Because you were up late fucking some next bitch.

Being successful is like being in heaven.

Big, brave girl like you…

Boring.

Bought some… Like, three sets of very nice, very nice pajamas.

Breathe. Yeah?

But a couple of days ago,

But at least I had somebody with me to go to war with.

But at same time, I kinda liked doing it by myself as well. You know?

But every woman's body is different, and we could hit roadblocks at any stage.

But for some reason this one… It's not comin'.

But how… how did you drive down at 4:00 in the morning

But I don't mind him being the donor.

But I don't want you to leave everybody behind while you do it.

But I'll tell you this,

But if we didn't go through what we went through,

But it does involve surgery, and we should do it soon.

But it might feel uncomfortable.

But it would just be… I don't know.

But it's crazy to me that you did that.

But it's none of my business anymore.

But just remember, after every dark night,

But me and Dev had a good heart to heart though.

But my office, uh, has dealt with this a number of times. We'll do our best.

But not for "gay and desires pregnancy."

But thank you.

But that ain't shit. Behind this door right here…

But that's the thing, like, I could…

But the food is so good, I couldn't.

But then, what do you do when she's not around?

But there is a bit of a problem.

But they are specializing in Black memorabilia.

But they may not cover some of the embryology,

But to be honest, I think it's more suitable for a nursery.

But we could end up in the same place that we are now.

But we're doing this, we're getting this done.

But we're gonna keep on monitoring you, yes?

But what was it you two wanted to talk to me about?

But yet, you was on some bullshit, too?

But you know about that shit, man. God.

But you've got to call me.

But, low key…

But, uh, ultimately, it's about quality rather than quantity.

But, um, the work environment, it just really didn't work for me,

But, you know, she's still here for me, through my baby."

Buttered noodles and plant buttered noodles.

Bye bye. Bye bye.

Bye, bye.

Can I have the speculum, please?

Can I open my eyes?

Can we please get the heck out of here?

Can we talk about something, um, serious for a second?

Can you grab my hoodie, please?

Can't somebody from the hospital come over to do it?

Can't you just tell me what to do?

Candy's mom decided to try new Country Crock plant butter.

Clean up, I'll be back soon.

Come Monday… it's like,

Come on, Leesh.

Congratulations, Alicia, you is pregnant.

Congratulations, darling. I'm very happy for you.

Could you imagine if you had a baby right now?

Crazy.

Crossed my mind that, like, if we were doin' it together,

Darius.

Definitely not you.

Denise!

Did you fuck her?

Didn't necessarily want to take them.

Do not have a code for "gay and desires pregnancy"

Do we go to a fucking sperm bank

Do we just keep goin' until we get caught?

Do we need to go to the hospital or something?

Do we text him and say,

Do you ever help your wife with her work? You're an early reader?

Do you have any plans to go away this winter?

Do you know how many mutual friends we got?

Do you know last year, I had to talk to your assistant

Do you see the little…

Do you want a glass of water?

Do you want any water?

Do you want me to be involved beyond the donation?

Do you want me to come to the appointments,

Does he come over and release a load in one of our tea cups?

Doesn't that make it cheaper?

Don't be mad, Chaka.

Don't let them project that crazy energy onto us.

Don't tell me how to develop my characters.

Don't worry, it will come.

Don't you hate when the smoke get in your eye?

Donation.

Dr. Perkins, you help women create life when the world tells them that they can't.

Easy for you to say. You're fucking Phone Flush.

Either you stay or you go.

Especially after, you know…

Even with the most aggressive fertility treatment.

Every day, she comes home at 7:00, and it's like,

Every day, you have to lick…

Every single day for the rest of your life.

Every time a couple argues in front of us, you think it's contagious.

Everything is looking great.

Everything was so different.

Everything will work out, you know?

Everything.

Everything's wonderful.

Excuse me.

Financially…

Fine, I'll be there at 10:00.

For this new one to do better than that one. [chuckles]

Fuck all this. Let's just get naked and get it poppin'.

Fuck.

Fuck's sake!

Fuck's sake!

Fucking cookies.

Fucking hell.

Get it. [grunts]

Get low.

Get where we at.

Given your medical history,

God damn it, we done been through so much.

God, are we bad people?

God, I know.

God, I'm so sorry. You do not have to deal with this.

God!

Good. What's the number? Tell me.

Got a damn dog on a wall, wearing a mask.

Got it.

Got the laptop there if you wanna use the Internet to… browse.

Gotta get that clean inside.

Granny!

Hand this off.

Happily.

He couldn't do it in the bathroom.

He don't need a whole charcuterie plate.

He just turned two.

He was fine.

He was in this scary looking wheelchair

He would always take the neighborhood kids to the movies.

He'd have a full head of hair, and still be acting.

He's an assistant in the accounting department.

He's not got a weak…

He's strong, tall, handsome, intelligent, kind.

Hell yeah, I still remember that goat.

Hello, darling. How you doing?

Hello?

Hello. [sniffs]

Here we go. And then, we have the blood test after.

Here. Put these back in the fridge, please.

Here's your check. There you go.

Hey, you know what? Let's not do that.

Hey.

Hey. [laughing]

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Uh. Hey.

Hey. You okay?

Hi, Cordelia, you all right?

Hi, Cordelia. You all right?

Hi.

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hopefully, we'll have some good news.

How are we gonna introduce our baby to like, racism and shit?

How are you doing?

How are you, Alicia? You all right?

How are you?

How did you guys meet?

How many eggs did we get?

How much of an idiot that makes me look like?

How old are you in this scenario?

How old is he now?

How serious? Just 'cause I'm, like, a little high.

How you feelin'?

How's your mess?

How's your next book coming along?

How's your own life?

How's, um… How's book two coming?

How's… [in affected voice] Erica?

How's… [in affected voice] Regina?

I ain't gotta hide shit from you.

I am fucking exhausted.

I am fucking in this giant fucking house in the middle of nowhere!

I am not a prop in your success.

I am not in service to you.

I am not your support in failure.

I appreciate you being here…

I appreciate you.

I appreciate you.

I belong to me.

I buy stuff that goes in the trash, too. But I try to buy less, I try to adapt.

I came to pick up my shit and get the fuck out of here,

I can come over, you know.

I can only tell you the options.

I can't afford it. I can barely pay my damn rent.

I can't believe he said yes so quickly.

I can't believe the motherfucker's jerking off on our couch.

I can't do that.

I can't go back out there now and be like,

I can't sleep. You wanna watch that, um, TV show?

I can't stay here, Denise. It's too weird.

I can't take it! It's too spicy. I can't take it, Dad.

I can't. I gotta get the fuck out of here.

I climbed out of that.

I could borrow some money from my mom, get out a loan.

I could spend all that money,

I did what was right for me.

I didn't get a loan. I could've used a loan.

I didn't know you were living with your parents.

I didn't mean to bring our bullshit into your home.

I didn't realize I could be this competitive. [laughing]

I didn't think I'd be working on a second book right now,

I don't appreciate her talking about my vagina like that.

I don't even know if this… was my dream anymore.

I don't even know what that is.

I don't even… I don't wanna make excuses for myself.

I don't fucking know. Look, I just think we should wait…

I don't know how to do that one.

I don't know if I would've gotten there.

I don't know if she wants me anymore.

I don't know what happened. [splutters] I took her strawberry picking,

I don't know where I'll get all my money from to pay for this kid for daycare,

I don't know why. I don't own a Bible.

I don't know why. What are we doing? You know what it is?

I don't know you.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. [sniffles]

I don't know. I feel, like, ten months ago,

I don't know. I guess…

I don't know. I just…

I don't know. I just…

I don't know…

I don't like how you're looking today.

I don't like to see you like this.

I don't really know, like, the relevance of, uh, the breakfast order.

I don't think anybody could do okay with divorce stuff.

I don't wanna do that.

I don't wanna wait for someone else to fulfill the goals I have for myself.

I don't want his hands to be greasy.

I don't want to be free.

I don't want you to say that. I know what you're gonna say.

I don't…

I don't… I can't do that to myself anymore.

I drove down to the hospital at 4:00 in the morning

I feel like a baby bird.

I feel like a… I don't know…

I felt so bad. I felt so bad about it,

I flushed her phone when I found out she was sexting this other chick.

I gave you everything I could.

I got on FaceTime, obviously.

I got something for you, too.

I got to spend two hundred quid every visit.

I gotta do this call real quick. I'll be up soon, okay?

I gotta find all those friends I gave loans to.

I gotta let it go.

I guess you take this, then you put it…

I had to clear out the last of Mama's stuff today.

I had to drag you kicking and screaming.

I hate having to…

I hate it. I hate having to answer to people.

I have savings, but…

I have to. It's my duty.

I haven't touched you for the last few months.

I just came here to get the papers signed.

I just don't know how you did it by yourself.

I just don't know if it should be with you.

I just feel like I should be thinking about having kids,

I just feel like I wasted so much time thinking,

I just feel like you seem so distant.

I just feel so far away from everybody.

I just really wanna focus on that.

I just sometimes worry,

I just tell 'em where I'm at.

I just want him to be comfortable. I want the vibe to be right, you know.

I keep thinking about that first year with Justin.

I kind of got all caught up

I know how to eat MoonPie.

I know I'm always telling you to be strong.

I know my body can do this. Okay?

I know the food is good.

I know we're good.

I know you do. That's what I'm doing it for you.

I know you're at work, but scream anyhow.

I know you're in the valley right now.

I know, man. What's up?

I know! I know.

I know.

I know. I fucked it.

I know. I had that shit flown in from Germany.

I know. I know.

I know. I'm waiting for my boss to come.

I know. It'll have memories on it now.

I know. It's first edition.

I know. Okay. Here we go.

I look lit. I could wear this to bed right now,

I look ridiculous.

I love putting on pajamas before I go to bed.

I love that you don't have to hide anything from me anymore.

I love you, baby.

I love you, too, Ma.

I loved her, man. She was like my granny.

I loved it. I still think it's really beautiful.

I mean, but, like, we can talk about it. I'm just…

I mean, Erica's not too into the outdoors.

I mean, I don't know. The dream has turned into a nightmare…

I mean, it's coming.

I mean, Jesse Jackson,

I mean, speak for yourself. I got shit going on.

I mean, they were sweating while doing the electric slide.

I mean, whatever, yeah, we're just there for couple months.

I never realized… how good I had it.

I put you… before me.

I really want that. [laughing]

I said yes then, I'd say yes now.

I saw him a couple of years ago.

I see the color coordination.

I see you. I see you.

I see you. Yeah, you want that.

I should be married, I should be having a great career.

I started to think I wasn't shit.

I still dream about the damn chicken with the honey butter.

I think so.

I think… I think we're just scared to go back out there

I used to be in a valley.

I wanna have a baby.

I want you to go home and rest,

I want you to say something!

I want you to think about this properly deeply.

I want… I don't wanna wait.

I wanted trucks, or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I was gonna say, let's wait until the dust settles.

I was just digesting everything.

I was like, "Fuck this. I'm switching to the flip."

I was like, "Ma, are you not paying attention? I'm a lesbian."

I was looking at my life and being like,

I was sittin' in his house…

I wasn't in Baltimore, I was in the city.

I went to go see his dad the other day.

I will write up everything that we've talked about,

I will. [laughs] Yeah. I will.

I won't tell you what antiques to buy.

I work for Dexhart Real Estate.

I worked so hard to get here, and now I'm all alone.

I would not have even been able to get through to you.

I…

I'd be talking to your fucking assistant.

I'll be as quick and as gentle as I can be, okay?

I'll bring you the water.

I'll do the sheep thing for a while.

I'll even do the spiritual shit I read about online, yeah?

I'll get a car when I'm ready.

I'll give you a chair.

I'll give you this tissue to clean up.

I'll just be in the kitchen.

I'll sign the papers. I'll let you go.

I'll talk to you soon, okay?

I'm 34 years old. My ovaries, they're starting to get stale.

I'm a fucking asshole, okay?

I'm a horrible human being,

I'm afraid not. And we should really do this as soon as possible.

I'm all right.

I'm all right. You okay?

I'm counting the follicles now.

I'm done.

I'm Dr. Perkins. Make yourself comfortable.

I'm fine. I'm fine!

I'm fine. Thank you. How are you?

I'm going!

I'm gonna eat right, exercise, do the yoga, the vitamins.

I'm gonna go, uh… to bed.

I'm gonna put a face mask on. You want one?

I'm good, thank you.

I'm happy now.

I'm happy to help in any way that I can.

I'm happy. You know I'm happy.

I'm here however you need me.

I'm here to listen.

I'm just a bit freaked out, to be honest.

I'm just as devastated as you.

I'm just gonna check that it's clear.

I'm just gonna clean you up a little bit, yeah?

I'm just gonna order some food, and we're gonna be good.

I'm just gonna pass the speculum now.

I'm just ingesting the material differently.

I'm just realizing I just might not be able to afford my own child. So…

I'm just scared. I just…

I'm just trying to get a sense of your character,

I'm Lauren. Um, are you Alicia?

I'm lookin' at Erica, man, "Bitch stole my fucking dream."

I'm not being funny, but it just feels like…

I'm not doin' it. 'Cause he don't have nothin' to say.

I'm not in the market for a retail space anymore.

I'm not looking like Dead Presidents with you.

I'm not trying to make excuses

I'm not trying to make you look like an idiot.

I'm okay. How are you?

I'm really sorry. Um…

I'm saying, we ain't been intimate in a minute.

I'm scared I'll have to go back to my old life, working a cubicle job.

I'm scared I'll run out of ideas.

I'm scared this could all go away.

I'm so embarrassed. I'm so sorry.

I'm so glad you're here.

I'm so happy for you, darling.

I'm so happy.

I'm sorry I scared you.

I'm sorry I wasn't there to make you laugh.

I'm sorry, guys. This is not appropriate, and I apologize.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. [sniffles]

I'm sorry. I should have came by to help y'all do that.

I'm sorry. I was traveling.

I'm sorry. It's not good news.

I'm trying to get into interior design.

I'm trying to get the fuck out of here!

I'm very happy.

I'm watching this, um…

I'm… I'm dealing with a lot right now.

I'm… I'm sure you're very uncomfortable. And what's so sad is that we are not.

I've been looking for this.

I've got a down payment on this grandchild,

I've never been in a situation like this before.

If he says no, okay. Whatever.

If he says yes, then we'll just…

If he'd gotten the hair plugs when I told him to,

If I do this, I wanna do it by myself.

If it was me, I would've ordered a pizza and called it a day.

If there's anything I can do, that's what I'm here for.

If we do, then I'm gonna be up watching it till 4:00 a.m.,

If you decide it's too much, I'll support you.

If you had touched me in the last three months.

If you were using an anonymous donor,

If your goal is still the same,

In fact, she once learned how to speak Hungarian

In meeting all these famous people and shit.

In order to confer benefit.

In the safest, most effective, most affordable way.

In the safest, most effective, most affordable way.

In the safest, most effective, most affordable way.

In this relationship, I gave you everything.

In vitro fertilization is your best option.

In…

Inseminate them with the sperm, grow the embryos,

Instead my mom came with a Addy doll.

Is a tough look at American reality,

Is it gonna hurt?

Is that if your book had gone well like you thought it would have,

Is that my divas?

Is that right? Anything whiter is like Lord of the Rings.

Is the patient doing okay?

Is there anything I can do?

Is there not any other day you can do?

Is this a hostage situation? Is that what's happening?

Is this the one?

It doesn't matter what you do in this life.

It doesn't work out.

It hasn't changed.

It is going to work. Why will it not work?

It is mighty cozy, the four of us living in that little house. [chuckles]

It is?

It just doesn't make sense to me.

It just hit me.

It kinda all got… lost, you know?

It means a lot to hear that from you.

It needs a bit of work and stuff,

It sounds like she gonna be family when she grows up.

It starts from now. Like, 34, for the rest of our lives.

It was an ordeal.

It was exhausting, it was expensive.

It was hard, it was definitely hard.

It was like the whole day. I watched your whole wedding.

It was nice. What was his lady saying back there?

It was really odd.

It was so good.

It was weird 'cause when they called me to be like,

It's 'cause I told you we're bad bitches.

It's a driver service for old people.

It's a failure right now, but in the long term it's a success.

It's a fucking fight.

It's a good batch.

It's a lame virus movie he got cut out of.

It's a little girl, she's…

It's a little lower than I was hoping for,

It's a lot for you to go through again.

It's almost been a year.

It's beautiful, right?

It's because you're coming towards the end of your stimulation.

It's called "GoGoGrandpa." Right?

It's called…

It's clear.

It's delicious.

It's embarrassing.

It's fine. It's fine.

It's going to work.

It's going to work.

It's going to work.

It's gonna be okay.

It's hard. [sniffles]

It's just hard.

It's just impossible.

It's just too fragmented,

It's just… I don't know.

It's kind of scary, but…

It's like a five hour drive,

It's like really hard.

It's like somebody comin' up behind you,

It's like the ultimate failure in life.

It's like the world is just, like… [sniffles]

It's like they're going through the realm, I don't know…

It's like we got this dark cloud over us.

It's like, hell wouldn't be as bad if I didn't know what heaven felt like.

It's like, the food we gotta give 'em,

It's like, you have all these relationships,

It's like…

It's looking good, man. I think she was wrong.

It's more complicated than I thought.

It's nice to know what you actually think of me.

It's nice.

It's not easy.

It's not good news.

It's not like "smoke weed and eat candy or raise children," you know.

It's not that big a deal.

It's not that crazy. But, you know, somethin'.

It's not.

It's okay.

It's okay. Me and your aunt Joyce took care of it.

It's pretty life consuming.

It's probably 'cause we finally took our masks off.

It's really good. You should be happy.

It's temporary.

It's too spicy, it's too spicy!

It's true, man.

It's up to you, though, you know?

It's, like, ridiculously expensive. Um…

It's, uh, heaven sent.

Jesus.

Jesus. Oh, my God. It's gonna have our baby's cousins on it.

Jesus. Yo, babe, the food is kickin'.

Jesus. You're talking about hair plugs.

Just admit it.

Just feel like I messed everything up.

Just give me five minutes, please.

Just give me five minutes.

Just gotta… keep searchin' till you find that person

Just let us know when you're done 'cause time is of the essence.

Just like a wall full of pictures.

Just made me not want to… put myself out there again.

Just packing up the house.

Just put that there. How're you feeling?

Just scared it's not gonna end well.

Just so I could send your ass a birthday gift?

Just so that we can see the…

Just that good.

Just to pick stuff from outside and cook it.

Kind of. You know, I'm on NCIS Brooklyn right now

Know what I mean?

Let alone clothes, nappies, and shit like that.

Let me see. Thank you.

Let's do this.

Let's do this. And it's Alicia's second time,

Let's take this one step at a time.

Life is good.

Like I said, this house is over 150 years old.

Like really laughs, she's got the same laugh.

Like the universe is trying to tell me that I'm not meant to have a kid.

Like we on The People's Court or something.

Like what?

Like, every day was like going to war.

Like, how long can we do this?

Like, I can't check the weather. I can't get directions.

Like, I don't know who's comin' over.

Like, I hear you, I feel you, but let's not do that.

Like, I see what it does to people.

Like, I wasn't a New York Times bestselling author.

Like, it's more expensive than I thought.

Like, low key, this is a bit weird, you know?

Like, this one, yeah? Got a knife, like… [clicks tongue]

Like, when we were together, it was really hard.

Like…

Listen, if you wanna do it, I'll support you.

Lola's really into tractors at the minute.

Look at this fabric. Babe, look at this fabric.

Look at this shit here.

Look at you. Ready to be recognized.

Look, all I know is I cannot put her jacket on

Look, I want you to be here, I want you to be alive, so I'm down.

Look, it's not a failure.

Look, you're causing me to do so much work.

Look. Let's just take a deep breath 'cause you're giving me anxiety already.

Look…

Look…

Make sure you ain't got no air bubbles in there.

Make sure you ain't got no air bubbles in there.

Makes me feel so good about myself.

Man, I gotta say, you know,

Man, you gotta stop dating these kind of women.

Maybe I wouldn't have fucked Heather

Maybe it's the biggest untapped market in America.

Maybe she wants to be a farmer or something when she grows up.

Maybe we shouldn't have a baby.

Maybe you could be our donor? [chuckles]

Me and Erica wanted them for our wedding, but they was booked.

Me, too.

Military photos, a wedding picture.

Mine wasn't a fling.

Mmm hmm?

Mmm hmm?

Mmm hmm?

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm.

Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. It's all right.

Mmm. That's the dream, to have a garden

Mom, I'm tired of waiting for someone to make something happen in my life.

Mom, that's dark.

Mom?

Moving without me.

Mr. Keep Hope Alive himself,

My insurance has covered me. So you can kiss my ass.

My office will be in touch with updates about the fertilization.

My office will call tomorrow to talk about fertilization.

Nah, he was a good dude.

Nah, man.

Nah.

Nah. This where we stayin'.

Nasty, like, a dirty armpit.

Needle ready.

Next tube.

Nice to meet you. Lauren.

No spiraling.

No spiraling.

No spiraling.

No spiraling.

No, 'cause you… [blows] You gotta propel it.

No, because you've already been having intercourse,

No, don't do it. She's my biggest fan.

No, don't go and leave me here.

No, I don't think so.

No, I like to dip.

No, I'm fine.

No, I'm good.

No, I'm in. Uh, I'd be thrilled to do it.

No, it makes it more expensive

No, look. Let me just paint a picture for you, right.

No, Mom. If I ask them to come over,

No, no, no. I'm not paying no damn bill.

No, no. You've been holding my hand, and I've been dragging you along.

No, you don't have to apologize.

No, you've come this far.

No, you've gotta be a bad bitch.

No.

No. Don't… Don't think like that.

No. I'm okay, but thank you.

No. Look. We do invite him around for dinner.

No. No.

No. That's all right. I'm just glad you're okay.

No. You guys are crazy.

No. You guys are gonna be incredible parents.

No. You know what? All I'm saying is I don't wanna be 52 and pregnant.

Not everyone's life is about finding someone,

Not necessarily.

Not really. He has ALS.

Not the ovaries shit again. No.

Now we gotta do it.

Now you go and celebrate wisely.

Now your voice is goin' up eight octaves.

Now, I am gonna warn you though,

Now, let me take this off.

Now, read your Bible.

Now, we are ready to implant your embryo.

Now, we can use a more aggressive treatment plan,

Now, will you please close your eyes and drift off into dreamland.

Now, you need to just focus on jabbing the needle into your belly.

Now's not the best time.

Of course. I'm glad I'm here, too.

Oh, dear, I don't like how you're sounding.

Oh, fire, everything…

Oh, gosh. That's horrible. I'm so sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Don't do it.

Oh, Jesus. This is gross.

Oh, man. I was scared.

Oh, my God, will you stop saying they have a tiny house?

Oh, my God! This is cozy central. Are you kiddin' me?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Seriously, his cooking is incredible.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my gosh, that's brilliant.

Oh, my gosh, the other day, I saw this amazing retail space.

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay. Well, no problem. If anything changes, just let me know.

Oh, shit, you gotta…

Oh, shit.

Oh, so it's been ten months. That's not technically a year, though.

Oh, the business idea? Oh, yeah, please tell 'em.

Oh, there's plenty of those on the floor at my crib right now,

Oh, um,

Oh, very proud. That's it.

Oh, why don't we watch that?

Oh, wow. [chuckles]

Oh, yeah, I just finished it a week ago. It's really good.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you are so welcome.

Oh, you still mad at Patti?

Oh. [chuckles]

Oh. [laughs]

Oh. Look at that front garden.

Oh. Okay. Well, I'll follow your lead, Mr. Adaptation.

Oh. You're reading it? No, she got the audiobook.

Oh… [sniffles]

Okay, be good for Granny. Bye bye, baby.

Okay, bitch, round two.

Okay, do you need a drink of water?

Okay, I guess I'm, I'm… cool with that.

Okay, I'm ready.

Okay, is that a good thing?

Okay, let's talk.

Okay, look.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay. I understand. I'll get straight to the point.

Okay, Pastor.

Okay, put it in your belly.

Okay, so I'm just gonna put some gel on. It's a little bit cold.

Okay, so if I'm straight and I have sex with my partner,

Okay, so we… we've been talking about starting a family,

Okay, so, as I explained,

Okay, so, hypothetically…

Okay, so, why were you in the city?

Okay, that's not, like, some new age y shit you just made up.

Okay, wait. Because I just have a really quick question for you.

Okay? You ready?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. 'Cause I wanted to talk about us having a baby.

Okay. [chuckles]

Okay. [exhales]

Okay. Alicia, please!

Okay. All right.

Okay. All right. No, so…

Okay. All right. Okay. 9:30?

Okay. All right. So now you love the bitch?

Okay. All right. Stop.

Okay. All right. Sure, sure, sure. Go ahead.

Okay. All right. Um, well, I don't even know how to go get some sperm.

Okay. But where does the ball roll to next?

Okay. I'll be up in a minute.

Okay. I'll make it work.

Okay. I'm good.

Okay. I'm not mad at Darius.

Okay. Let's, uh…

Okay. Next time, you bring someone to hold your hand.

Okay. Okay. Bye. [breath trembling]

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. You know I like surprises.

Okay. Swish it around.

Okay. Thank you. All right. Bye.

Okay. Two hours.

Okay. We're going… All right.

Okay. Well done, darling.

Okay. Well, hopefully, we can help you with that.

Okay. Well, please just give him a hug from me.

Okay. Yep.

On average, 30% to 40%.

Once you became this big success,

One down.

Ooh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Ooh, okay.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Ooh.

Or "single and desires pregnancy."

Or help with the injections, or anything?

Or jeopardize the implantation of the embryo.

Or whatever…

Our patients are our priority.

Our patients are our priority.

Our patients are our priority. We want you to achieve…

Our patients are our…

Out of pocket.

Part of you is happy I'm not pregnant anymore.

Pays the bills.

People gonna be fallin' asleep.

Phone Flush is back.

Picking up candy wrappers and towels. [chuckles]

Pictures of him as a kid.

Pictures of him watchin' Damon grow up.

Plant sitters! Yeah, that's it.

Please continue to hold.

Please continue to hold.

Please continue to hold.

Please have a seat. We have other patients to see.

Polyps are growths that could impede

Probably. Yeah. I used to dabble in, um, in chemistry.

Purple carrots, purple potatoes, purple yams.

Queens? What y'all doing in Queens?

Ready to hang. Let's do it.

Ready to rip my head off,

Really?

Really? What shit you got goin' on?

Relationships are messy.

Remember when I was working for those whack magazines pretending to be a writer?

Rest, and then when you're ready, you can get dressed.

Right here.

Right? It's like, "Okay, she's gone,

Right.

Right.

Right. Good. One…

Round and round in circles…

Runnin' around New York, doing whatever we wanted,

Say if a publisher, your publisher, comes up to you,

Say if we wanted to have a kid, and you tell me next year,

Say it again.

Says it, and then he always gets the round of applause.

Scientist?

See if the bitch can get you Smokey Robinson's hair grease.

See, I'm into this. Like, just full coziness all day.

See. That's why our baby gonna come out bougie as hell.

Seriously, I'm so touched you guys would even think of me.

Seriously?

Shall I take off my head wrap?

She did cook up a good curry goat, man.

She doesn't want kids anymore?

She drove down to Baltimore for some antique roadshow thing.

She is… I don't know. She is…

She was a sex worker in the late 1800s in Nebraska.

She was asking after you.

She's afraid a tick will bite her and give her Lyme disease.

She's an expert in one thing… Buttered noodles.

She's eating pasta.

She's got a family and stuff.

She's just not you.

She's listening to it in the background

She's okay.

She's rebellious, kinda looks like one of my aunties, so… Yeah.

She's smarter than me. That's what she's trying to hide.

She's very condescending.

Shit just seemed to get real.

Shit, I hope some little kids.

Shit.

Shit. I don't wanna get up that early to talk about books, man.

Shit. I gotta relax my mind.

Shit. I'm sorry.

Shit. It happens to the best of us, okay?

Shit. Sometimes a mama is all you need.

Shit. You want a bite?

Should I have fought for us?

Should I stop smoking weed and have a baby?

Should've tried using the drops.

Sign it.

Simply to be able to sing the Hungarian opera.

Since we've been doing this, I've just felt so relaxed.

Singing "Je Te Veux" by Erik Satie.

So anyways, after that, 'cause we just…

So at least you're not doing this by yourself?

So he hits the button and the window comes down.

So he kind of stepped in.

So how are you two? What happened with all the, um, baby stuff?

So I can play your wife in this little house…

So I had to go online, and I found this company,

So I just do it in this jar?

So I just need to go to the hospital and jerk off into a cup?

So I'm just saying, for that eventuality, let's start preparing now.

So I'm probably gonna leave straight after work,

So let's get as many eggs as possible.

So maybe that should be the motto. "We got wine breath."

So much brown on brown love. That was beautiful.

So my lawyers have looked over everything, they're happy.

So now there's this weird pressure

So please sign the fucking papers now.

So Reshmi and her friends can come over and go… Boop!

So sign the fucking papers.

So then you meet someone else.

So time really is something

So we can go over and over this again and again,

So we could just do it here.

So we really getting divorced 'cause we cheated on each other?

So we're gonna have to discard this one.

So weird.

So you are on the declining part of this graph here.

So you can't give up now and use up my money.

So you really gotta sell?

So you would still be looking at spending between seven and ten thousand dollars

So you're like, "This is gonna work."

So you're smart.

So, a woman's fertility peaks when she's in her 20s,

So, Alicia, we need to make some decisions here.

So, Alicia, what brings you here today?

So, at the moment, I'm working at an antique store.

So, how's life?

So, I got you a little something from my store.

So, I'm gonna give you some tissues to clean up yourself.

So, I'm in hell right now at that job.

So, it's the same process as last time.

So, let me take that for you.

So, she has to be competitive about everything…

So, someone from the office is going to call you

So, they kinda teach you about history and shit.

So, uh, I don't know if this is the appropriate time to bring it up,

So, uh, what's a typical morning like for you?

So, uh… So, yeah. Um…

So, we can freeze the embryo and remove the polyps,

So, we'll think about the next step if he says yes.

So, where does Erica think you're goin'?

So, yeah, my parents' house is smaller, but their hearts are bigger.

So, you don't think you wanna do it anymore?

So? It's the same thing. I'm reading.

So…

So… Don't know. Do you know anyone who's gone through it?

So… okay.

Society has trained us to think we gotta wear stuff

Sorry to swear.

Sorry, sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. I know it was your dream.

Sorry. Just been a bit…

Sort of quite like…

Spend 80 bucks a month

Start?

Still thinking about opening up your own antique shop?

Stop it. Your mom is too much.

Stop using big words. You bought some shit?

Stuff from when he was in high school.

Such a white book.

Sure you don't wanna sleep on it, or…

Sure. All right. I'll see you later.

Sweet.

Take care. Bye, bye.

Talkin' about…

Taped to his refrigerator.

Tapping you on your shoulder saying,

Tested positive.

Thank God.

Thank you for calling Hope and Heart Fertility.

Thank you for calling Hope and Heart Fertility.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Cordelia.

Thank you, man.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. [laughing]

Thank you. Hi. I'm Alicia.

Thank you. I'm good.

Thanks. Are these from the garden? They're so good.

That doesn't feel comfortable.

That her life wasn't gonna go the way she planned it.

That is a working open fireplace.

That is so many. I'll call you in a few hours when I gotta do it again.

That makes sense. You have so many nice pieces.

That market in Queens isn't that great anyway.

That seemed like a cool subject for… for me and my friends?

That she was scared

That was brutal, man.

That would be nice. Let me get some weed.

That would have already been through the process.

That you should factor into any decisions that you make.

That you're not gonna have enough space in your lab. Yeah?

That… we would laugh through it,

That's a fairy tale, those fairy tales are fucking shit.

That's a… That's a failure.

That's actually one of my favorites.

That's all I'm asking.

That's all I'm saying. Let's just start thinking about it.

That's amazing.

That's awesome. [chuckles]

That's good.

That's it.

That's like our checks.

That's mad. That's… [scoffs] so unfair.

That's nice.

That's not cool. He be stealing my applause, bro.

That's too many questions.

That's true. That's true.

That's understandable.

That's what the screening is there, to reduce that risk.

That's what you are when you work those cubicle jobs.

That's why she want me to get a smartphone.

The decor is not as Black as it once was.

The doctors did some scans. They say my brain is all right.

The drops! I knew the drops were comin'.

The embryo, we're not gonna be able to transfer it.

The fact that your fallopian tubes are blocked,

The fucking drops.

The good news is that we are ready to implant the embryo.

The insurance company needs a diagnosis code

The kind of women that ain't on your level.

The kind of women that you gotta refer to as "Phone Flush."

The majority of American insurance companies

The man's coming over to jerk off in a cup.

The new job, like, fucking sucks.

The night was going so well.

The palatial estate in Chicago, and you know what happened?

The Retrospective.

Then falling in love, then getting married and having kids.

Then it got a little weird, then it got super awkward,

Then it was just sad.

Then our only option is to do another cycle.

Then she passed away about a week later.

Then we go days without talking.

Then y'all started arguing like Whitney and Bobby.

Then, I'll come back in and take your blood. It's all right?

There has been nothing from you!

There were also moments where…

There's a brighter day.

There's a handsome young man outside. Could I let him come in?

There's enough gel on it, so it shouldn't be too uncomfortable.

There's information on the website,

There's this couple, in LA, doing a similar thing to me,

There's too many memories here, man.

They act all stush like they don't know who I am.

They asked us to leave.

They don't have the same issues as the other person,

They don't have to get their sperm tested?

They have a code for being attacked by an orca,

They pull up. I know they expecting some old woman

They said I'll be all right.

They'll come alive and kill us in our sleep.

They're like, "Bitch, if you don't call a Uber…"

They're not spending money on their tiny house.

They're spending thousands of dollars on a complicated surgery

Things are looking good, Alicia.

Things aren't working out as planned, so you're just gonna get a move on that.

Think about the next step. What we wanna do, you know…

This also works as a pajama shirt.

This brown brown love's gonna work. Come here. No, no. Come on.

This injection thing, and it's like…

This is a different time, Alicia.

This is a serious one.

This is awesome.

This is great.

This is just our vibe. This is Tuesday.

This is marriage.

This is mental.

This is what happens.

This is… not where I thought my life would be right now. [scoffs]

This little one pulls up on me in a baby Audi.

This margarine ad. [sniffles]

This one pulls out the tote bag, just starts goin' in.

This too shall pass.

Those aren't the only two options in life. You can do other stuff.

Those holes let it breathe!

Those must be some special fucking antiques.

Thousands upon thousands of women have done these injections,

Three are fertilized.

Three.

Tina! Tina.

To create as many viable eggs as possible.

To get my back to school clothes off of layaway.

To have her eat a little bit better,

To leave her house

To save my life, yeah?

Together, we're gonna harvest these eggs.

True dat.

True.

Trying to get out of here.

Tube ready.

Tube ready.

Two…

Uh huh. I don't know when that feud gonna die.

Uh huh. Thank you.

Uh oh. What's up, Chaka?

Uh, but, you know, I got insurance.

Uh, I don't think I ever stopped being scared. [chuckles]

Uh, I'd like to carry, preferably as soon as possible.

Uh, I'm not really a public person.

Uh, listen, so what are the next steps?

Uh, Phil? Can you help this lady out? She's really interested in this light.

Uh, so, um, those three, they definitely have a chance, right?

Uh, they were having a birthday, so we wound up there.

Uh, um… Uh… Uh…

Uh, well, that would work. [chuckles]

Uh, what about the fact that I'm using my friend as a donor?

Uh, whoa.

Uh, with someone of your age and profile,

Uh, yeah. Nice to meet you.

Um, and we were thinking that…

Um, have you ever tried chamomile granules?

Um, I don't know if it's the ultimate failure in life.

Um, I wanna have a baby.

Um, I…

Um, okay, uh, what are the chances of it working?

Um, so I can get to the market early on Saturday.

Um, sorry. Um, so those three are definitely viable, right?

Um, we live there.

Um, yeah, her name is Goldie Williams.

Um, yeah, man. In fact, it was about a month ago, actually. Pretty recent.

Um, yeah. I mean, I guess I didn't mention it 'cause, uh…

Um, yeah. Sorry, my brain is just so…

Um, you know, wake up, have breakfast. Maybe smoke some weed.

Um…

Um…

Um…

Um…

Um…

Um… [sighs]

Um… I'm just trying to do this, um,

Um… Yeah, I'm just, like, really bloated and…

Unfortunately, we lost four.

Unfortunately, we lost two.

Wait, he didn't tell you we've been living with his parents?

Wait, I'm confused.

Wait, wait, wait. Is that it?

Wait. You're into this? Like, we can do this?

Wake up, eat some cereal, go to a meeting, come back, and go back to bed.

We ain't married no more. Okay?

We can be like Denise and be comfortable all day.

We can never talk about this ever.

We can use that as an argument with the insurance company.

We could put a cot there and our rocking chair there.

We do this shit all the fucking time.

We don't need to. I've thought of a donor.

We got 13.

We got five eggs.

We got wine, cheese. A rose.

We gotta make do with the farmers market.

We gotta talk to 'em. We can't have our kids talkin' 'bout, "America is great."

We had matching dresses.

We have to prove that you are infertile,

We just had a miscarriage.

We not talking about your ovaries.

We still gotta wait nine months for that baby.

We stopped talking about it ever since the miscarriage.

We then retrieve those eggs,

We think you're amazing, and we've… Like, thank you so much.

We used to have it so good.

We want you to achieve all your fertility goals

We want you to achieve all your fertility goals

We want you to achieve all your fertility goals

We'd appreciate it.

We'll think about the next step if he says yes.

We're family, man.

We're gonna be doing… Checking the follicles.

We're just two bad bitches laid up in these old people's home.

We're like, "Come on. 'Cause I need to eat."

We're not the same friends we used to be.

We're talking less than 5%.

Well, here is Jessye Norman in her impeccable French,

Well, how do we celebrate inviting Darius over to give us his sperm?

Well, how's auditioning going? You still acting and stuff?

Well, I had to really figure out ride sharing

Well, I was hoping that we would get at least five…

Well, I'm just saying maybe you should have listened to me.

Well, I'm just saying, his hair is thinning.

Well, if all you got is your mama, that's not the best sign.

Well, it smells like you've been working on a cheap magnum of Chardonnay.

Well, so am I.

Well, the insurance company doesn't have a policy for that.

Well, when we retrieved the eggs, we found some polyps in your uterus.

Well, yeah, maybe that's the point.

Well, you basically come over

Well, you can talk to me.

Well, you know…

Well… This one time you read something,

What a romantic setting for me to be with myself.

What about waiting until you've got a partner,

What are you, like, five?

What did we say?

What do I want you to… Something!

What do you usually have for breakfast?

What do you want me to say?

What do… They don't have a policy for queer people?

What does she hear?

What does that mean in regards to me and my sexuality? Uh…

What if it doesn't?

What kind of eggs I eat in the morning is gonna give too much insight into that.

What kind of women?

What kinda… Is the armpit sweaty?

What made you decide to wanna have kids, anyway?

What the fuck, man?

What the fuck, man? Jesus.

What the fuck? How you gonna come upstairs then,

What was so sad about the margarine ad?

What would you do? Like, smoke weed with the baby?

What you laughin' at?

What you readin'?

What, are we just poppin' in to say hello or somethin'?

What?

What?

What?

What? No. Come here.

What? No. Hell… Hell no!

What? Oh, wait.

What? What you mean?

What? You were giving out loans?

What? You're… That is so quick. [laughing]

What'd you have this morning?

What's a Addy doll?

What's the catch?

What's up?

What's up? Don't run away from me.

What's wrong?

What's wrong? You're looking so tired.

Whatever way you go, whatever you decide.

When I was younger, my dad wasn't really around.

When Lola laughs,

When she gets to about 37, the decline becomes more rapid.

When you buy stuff we throw away, it's different?

When'd you stop being scared?

Where are we goin'? Are we going somewhere cool?

Where is Alicia at?

Where is it?

Where they drill holes in your head and shove new hair in there. Okay?

Whether it's something I can…

Which is killing me 'cause it's not coming as fast as I would like.

Which one is that again?

While she's online shopping for used clothes.

Who gives a shit about the fucking window?

Who gonna be on the panel?

Who sleeps in here?

Who you are as a person.

Why am I just finding out about this?

Why are you stopping?

Why are you talking to me like this?

Why did I find someone else's underwear downstairs?

Why do you always say her name, like… Like, weird.

Why does it have to be my story? Know what I mean?

Why don't you just stay in the guest room?

Why the people we're supposed to be have gotta be so damn boring, man?

Why they got a dead cat on the coffee table?

Why would we talk about that right now?

Why're you gettin' dressed up and elegant to go to bed?

Will you dance with me?

With IVF, the goal is to stimulate the body

With the follow up appointment, okay?

With the weird hair and the weak immune system?

Without a test, you can't have a testimony.

Without watching a 30 minute BBC documentary on tractors.

Would my insurance cover the surgery?

Would you do it?

Would you lick someone's armpit every day for the rest of your life?

Would you mind if we speak? Just some background.

Would you say yes?

Wow, that's nice.

Wow.

Wow. I'm so sorry.

Wow. New Yorker review.

Wow. She drive all the way to Baltimore?

Yeah, but then, I was shinier.

Yeah, cool.

Yeah, do. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, I am!

Yeah, I could go for some vintage Larenz Tate.

Yeah, I feel like I had a feeling that might be the case.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I'm good.

Yeah, I'm good.

Yeah, I'm good.

Yeah, I'm just… I'm just not sure whether it's something…

Yeah, I'm not sure. I don't know. After all of that, um…

Yeah, I'm scared.

Yeah, it popped up on Insta stories.

Yeah, it's a process, though, I think. Especially with books.

Yeah, it's just… It's weird when you've seen the other side, you know?

Yeah, just gotta get my belly out. One second. Okay.

Yeah, just had a birthday. And my mom got him a car.

Yeah, like… Okay, hypothetically, if I were to do it,

Yeah, man.

Yeah, maybe it's real,

Yeah, maybe. Maybe I love that bitch.

Yeah, me neither.

Yeah, okay.

Yeah, okay. I just wanted to know that you wanted it.

Yeah, one second.

Yeah, some days we're good.

Yeah, sometimes, neither do I, to be honest.

Yeah, speakin' of slavery,

Yeah, that's really Caucasian.

Yeah, there you go.

Yeah, they are nice.

Yeah, they're fucking shit.

Yeah, they're gonna kill me, babe.

Yeah, they're shit, they're shitty people.

Yeah, will do. Thank you, though, for the call.

Yeah, yeah, I'm okay.

Yeah, yeah, um, we just want you to feel really relaxed.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I just don't know if, uh,

Yeah, yeah. I'm ready.

Yeah, yeah. We know it's a lot to process, you know, so…

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah? Hi, Cordelia. You all right?

Yeah? Right, I'm gonna focus up.

Yeah? What do you mean?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. A bit nervous. [chuckles]

Yeah. Damn.

Yeah. Hi.

Yeah. I guess.

Yeah. I just got a couple more calls.

Yeah. It's crazy 'cause the night started out so great.

Yeah. Let's do this.

Yeah. Looks good.

Yeah. No, I, I used to do chemistry.

Yeah. Okay. That one… That one's gonna hurt.

Yeah. So he's not the happiest camper right now,

Yeah. That would make it less awkward.

Yeah. Then what? Then, if he says yes…

Yeah. Yeah, I'm into it. I wanna do it.

Yeah. Yeah, it might.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You would come over here, um, because hospitals are really expensive.

Yeah. You're not gonna be happy with that either.

Yeah… [sniffles] Uh…

Yep.

Yep. And getting yelled at for buying too many purple carrots.

Yes, everything is looking lovely.

Yes, I do. 'Cause it saves time and it creates the perfect cookie.

Yes, I do. I wanna be successful. Like that Drake and Trey Songz.

Yes, I would do it. Can we go back to sleep now?

Yes, let's do this.

Yes, of course, you can, my darling.

Yes!

Yes! 'Cause the pop up is going so well,

Yes! [laughing]

Yes?

Yes.

Yes. We have five good quality embryos.

Yesterday, we had five eggs.

You all right? How you feelin'?

You and your clown caravan of friends is not gonna figure it out.

You are not the problem.

You being all sad and melancholy.

You better go cross check and double check.

You bought her pajamas?

You call this number, and this man on the other end is like,

You can actually use this as a measuring gauge

You can get a single bed in here.

You can let go.

You can take your time to read it, go over it.

You can, too.

You can't believe the good shit people say about you

You can't rent it out for a few months or something?

You did it for you

You did it. Well done, you've done it.

You did what was right for you,

You doing okay with all the… divorce stuff?

You don't get to grieve in the same way.

You don't need to do that.

You get old… and you get sick.

You go to hospitals a lot and check out their porn?

You gonna eat these cookies, Anna Mae. [chuckles]

You gonna leave me all by myself to deal with my shame and guilt?

You good?

You good? You good?

You got any news?

You got some milk?

You gotta let me do my thing. It's a surprise.

You gotta tell me what's going on with you.

You guys both mean a lot to me,

You haven't talked to me in the last few months.

You just call…

You just have to do your thing in the cup, and then I'll… I'll sort out the rest.

You just said, "Our baby."

You just use me as a fucking prop.

You just…

You keep dating women you know you ain't gonna be in a relationship with.

You know how I get when I'm sleepy.

You know I gotta go to that antique fair in Baltimore this weekend.

You know what came on TV the other day? The Sickening.

You know what this is?

You know what this is?

You know what, fuck infertility.

You know what? Fuck it. I was seeing someone.

You know what? It's still crazy to… Like, good crazy,

You know what? She's… She's okay.

You know what? You know what?

You know when you go out of town, and your plants need watering?

You know why I know that? It's because I'm a bad bitch.

You know why it's hard to talk right now?

You know, 'cause I was watching you, and you had all these goals,

You know, and that's my favorite nap couch.

You know, Granny passed away.

You know, I dabble here and there.

You know, I got a tip for you.

You know, I just…

You know, I know you wanna take over the world,

You know, I miss weird stuff.

You know, I saw your wedding.

You know, like, there's this, um…

You know, like…

You know?

You know…

You like to go, "Oh, my girl, I got my girl this and I got her this."

You live with your parents now? In Queens?

You live your life and I'm gonna leave you fucking to it.

You look relieved, Denise.

You love me, don't you? I know you do.

You made all these new friends,

You need help gettin' up, babe?

You need some help?

You need to just… Just a little bit more. Just…

You never asked me, "Alicia, what do you want out of this?"

You not gonna eat my cookies 'cause I ain't got no milk?

You only eat natural fruits and berries, all right?

You put on the oven.

You ready?

You really did it.

You remember my friend Damon?

You should've gotten those hair plugs.

You start to go, "Wait. Fuck!"

You still in the kitchen?

You think I've got the same body I did before I gave birth?

You want me to do the bed all the fucking time. No, no time out!

You want me to?

You want some cookies?

You wanted different things. You know?

You wear this old shirt to bed with loads of holes in it.

You would, this time, go to a clinic.

You would've been in Manhattan somewhere, knee deep in pussy.

You… That's what you want?

You'd inquired about a retail space we have over in Boerum Hill?

You'll be all right. Okay.

You'll be stronger and wiser.

You're a great person, and you'll be a great parent.

You're a strong woman, Alicia.

You're doing so well,

You're gonna enjoy them as much as I am gonna enjoy them.

You're just in a valley right now.

You're nearly there, Alicia.

You're nearly there.

You're not supposed to be with for 20 years.

You're on NCIS Brooklyn? [chuckles]

You're pregnant, darling, you're pregnant.

You're silly.

You're thinking about this house, this career, everything else but me!

You're two people who are in different moments.

You're working me out today.

You're… [laughing]

You've always been there for me, man.

You've come this far.

Your boss is like,

Your donation to the cause and then, um, we would take it from there.

Your fuckin' mama.

Your hair is thickening up, bro. It's…

Your insurance company does cover IVF…

Your ovaries are gonna be lit!

Your parents are very wealthy,

Your results have come back.

…or else the "thing" will make us spiral. Hmm.

…we're at a party. Mmm hmm.

'Cause I don't believe that, love. [chuckles]

'Cause I'm fucking stressed out. Oh, God. Okay. You know why?

"I got her a big house." Yes, I buy you shit.

[alarm beeping] [sighs]

[Alicia chuckling] [exhales]

[Alicia chuckling] Oh, no. Ugh.

[Alicia sighs] Take a seat.

[Alicia] Come in. You okay?

[Alicia] Hey! [Darius chuckles] Hey.

[Alicia] Hey. Hey, I'm done.

[Alicia] Hi. Hi.

[Alicia] I can't. I can't. I did this for us.

[Alicia] I love you so much. Mmm hmm.

[Alicia] Listen, she is cute. Yes.

[Alicia] Mmm hmm. [Denise] Uh huh. Yeah.

[Alicia] Mmm. [sighs]

[Alicia] No, we can't. No, it ain't.

[Alicia] Really quickly. Sorry. [Denise] You're good.

[Alicia] See you. [Denise] You're the best.

[Alicia] She is slinky. She gonna be even cuter on your body.

[Alicia] Sorry to interrupt. I just… Hey, babe.

[Alicia] What did they do? [Denise] Damn it.

[Alicia] You know what it is? Jesus fucking Christ.

[Alicia] You know what you like to do? I bought you a toothbrush.

[all laughing] Sorry.

[beeps] [barrier opens]

[blows] [snorts]

[both chuckle softly] Like, sucks, you know?

[chuckles nervously] Just a shot.

[chuckles] And the child ain't born yet.

[chuckles] Hmm.

[chuckles] Is everything all right?

[chuckles] Um… [scoffs]

[chuckles] Wow.

[chuckles] No. I don't know…

[chuckles] Sorry. It's just a lot. All right.

[chuckles] Yeah. Hmm. Yeah?

[clicks tongue] Is that… That's natural.

[Cordelia] Alicia, it's Cordelia. Yes, yes.

[Cordelia] Alicia? Hi.

[Cordelia] Alicia? Yeah?

[Cordelia] Alicia? Yeah. Yeah.

[Darius] Hey. Hey.

[Denise sighs] Mmm mmm.

[Denise] Good to see you. [woman] Hi. So good to meet you.

[Denise] I don't know sizes and shit. [sighing] Oh, my God.

[Denise] It's ridiculous. Oh, God.

[Denise] Keep 'em closed, all right? [chuckles]

[Denise] Oh, my God. [giggling and exclaiming]

[Denise] Okay. Legs up. Okay.

[Denise] Okay. Yeah, that's all of it. Okay.

[Denise] Really, babe? What?

[Denise] So good to meet you. [Dev] Reshmi.

[Denise] What the fuck? It's a real thing, so fuck you, man.

[Denise] What's up, boo? [Dev] What's up? How are you?

[Denise] What's up? [woman] Hey, Denise.

[Denise] Y'all can hang your coats here. [Dev] Okay.

[Denise] Yeah. [Alicia chuckles]

[Denise] Yes, man. Get in here.

[Denise] You do it better. A little bit. [chuckling]

[Dev] Not too bad. [door closes]

[Dev] You done good! [Denise] Thanks, boo.

[door opens] [scats]

[Dr. Perkins] And we're done. [Alicia] Okay.

[Dr. Perkins] Great. Thanks. [Shevon] Preparing the tube.

[Dr. Perkins] Hey, Alicia. Hi.

[Dr. Perkins] Thank you. And Shevon? [Kat] Yes, Doctor.

[Dr. Perkins] You ready, Shevon? [Shevon] Ready, Doctor.

[exhales] [sighs]

[exhales] All right.

[exhales] Let's do this together, yeah?

[exhales] Our patients are our priority.

[exhales] Okay. You did great.

[gasps] [Darius] Happy birthday.

[girl on TV] Hey! [man] Ooh, sorry.

[groans softly] Okay. All right.

[groans] Here we go.

[grunts] I love cupcakes.

[inhales deeply] Ready?

[Kat] It's clear. Okay.

[Kat] Sure. [Dr. Perkins] Thank you.

[laughing] [groans]

[laughing] Got 154 of them to go.

[laughing] Now, I want some.

[laughing] Sheesh.

[laughing] You know, say, "Hey, man."

[laughing] I don't know. It's ridiculous.

[laughing] Okay. Okay? Fill it out.

[laughing] Yeah. [chuckles]

[laughs] All right.

[laughs] Whenever I see 'em,

[laughs] Yeah. Jesus.

[loudly] "Denise! Where are you?" [laughing]

[Mandy laughing] Oh, Steve, a nursery! [Steve] Okay.

[Mandy] Hi. [Steve] It's like a fairy tale.

[Mandy] Oh, wow. [Steve] Wow.

[Mandy] Oh. [Steve] Thank you.

[Mandy] Right. [Steve] That's a shame.

[Mandy] Yeah! It's beautiful.

[mimicking sheep] Yeah. [chuckling]

[Paula] Get the door? [Steve] Sure.

[Phil] Yeah, sure. I'm just gonna be one second.

[Reshmi] It's incredible. [Dev] This is nuts!

[scoffs] All right? That's… I…

[scoffs] I guess. [chuckles]

[Sharon over phone] Hello? Hi, Mom?

[Shevon] Needle ready. [Dr. Perkins] Great.

[Shevon] There you go. [Dr. Perkins] Thank you.

[Shevon] Yes, Doctor. Tube ready. [Dr. Perkins] Great.

[sighs and chuckles] It was either you or Busta Rhymes.

[sighs] In this moment, right?

[sighs] Okay. I'll check in on you.

[snaps fingers] Sorts it out. Okay.

[sniffles] Wow. Thank you so much. Okay?

[snorts] Oh, my God.

[softly] Hey. I'll see you Sunday, okay? Hmm.

[softly] Okay. One thing we need to factor in is cost.

[softly] Yeah. You all right?

[song stops] [crying]

[splutters] Like, what kind of car? Well…

[Steve] Hi. Hi. Welcome.

[Steve] I love it. [Mandy] I love this.

[talking indistinctly while laughing] Oh, gosh.

[turns TV off] [cell phone vibrating]

[vibrating stops] [spits]

[whispers] That's it. Okay.

[woman] Check in on the third floor. [Alicia] Okay.

♪ Everybody ♪ ♪ Everybody, everybody ♪

♪ I can't decide ♪ ♪ Baby, baby ♪

♪ I can't decide which way I'm stuck ♪ ♪ I can't decide which way I'm stuck ♪

♪ Well, you got me in your power ♪ ♪ You got me in your power ♪

♪ Which way I'm stuck ♪ ♪ Which way I'm stuck ♪

A baby. [exhales]

A kid that can't handle spicy food? Yeah. [sniffles]

A million. All right? [laughing] That's horrible.

Ah, there she is. How you doin', man?

Alicia? Hmm?

Alicia? Yes.

All day long. Oh, you're missing out.

All I want is five minutes. Okay.

All right, breathe, breathe. Mmm hmm.

All right, darlin'. Thank you. [chuckles]

All right? [laughs] Yeah.

All right? No, I'm not.

All right? Yeah.

All right. Love you, too.

All right. Mmm.

All right. Okay.

All right. Okay.

All right. Ready to come out now, yes? [sniffles]

All right. Well, good luck, man. Thank you.

And every time I say something good… [sighs]

And everything purple is goin' in. [chuckling]

And it's fucking boring as fuck. I just… So random.

And, um, this is her mug shot. [laughs]

Are you being serious? Yeah.

Are you cool? Yes.

Are you serious? Yes.

Are you with me? [Dr. Perkins] I'm with you however you

Aw… [softly] I'm so tired.

Babe, come on, man. Come on, babe. [giggles]

Baby… Yes.

Bring them pasta. We'll do that next time.

Busy yourself. Stop talking trash. [chuckling]

But we have five… [mouths] Five.

But you can still look nice and be cozy. Coziness.

But you can still look nice and be cozy. Coziness.

Bye. Bye, bye.

Bye. Have a good evening.

Can I get you anything? Why weren't you crying?

Can we help with the dishes? No, man, she loves doing that shit.

Can you hold this for me? Yeah.

Chill. You'll be all right. [sighs]

Come in. I've got some details for you. [Steve] Look at this. Wow.

Come on, babe. [Alicia] Okay.

Come on. Is that okay?

Come on. It's do… Ma, it's done. I did it.

Come on. Mmm.

Congratulations. Thank you so much.

Cool. Let's go. All right. See you later.

Could you prepare the needle, please? [Shevon] Yes, Doctor.

Damn. Mmm mmm.

Deep breath in. [inhales deeply]

Did you? I respected the notes.

Do you still go upstate often? [smacks lips] Not really.

Early. I don't want no little O.J. baby. [chuckling] Yeah.

Erica's fine. Mmm.

Fall off the bone. Foot rubbing good. Did you learn how to do that?

Five good quality embryos. [laughs] Embryos!

Five! Remember, five. Wow.

Four in progress. Okay. Okay.

from 227. Well, yeah. Yeah.

Furthermore… Yeah?

gathered up the courage to finally jump. Mmm. Mmm.

Go ahead. [gasps]

God damn. [chuckles] It's pretty serious.

Going on the next side now. Mmm hmm.

Happy tears, happy tears. Okay. [sobs]

Happy Valley? Um…

has a kid with another woman. Stop with the jokes!

Has it been a year? Mmm hmm. It's been about ten months.

having fun every day. [chuckles]

He cooks delicious food. I'm waiting on that pasta.

Hell yeah. Yeah?

Here we go. Ready? Yeah.

Here you go. Thanks, lovely.

Here? Yeah.

Hey, Mom. [Catherine] Hey.

Hey. [receptionist] Hi, how are you?

Hey. Hey.

Hi, it's Cordelia. How you doing? Hi. I'm good.

Hi. [Dr. Perkins] Hi.

Hmm. All you gotta do is you've gotta…

Hmm. But, you know, now I have it,

Hmm. You know? Like, let our guard down.

Hmm. I forgot. Okay. Mmm hmm.

Hmm. Sherlock. [sighs]

Hold on. Okay.

How are you? Yeah, I'm good.

How you doin'? Good to see you.

I ain't said it yet. I know. I just know.

I bought this shit with my brain. [Alicia] That is a lie.

I can't afford it. I double checked with billing.

I cannot believe we're in our old house… Mmm.

I don't want you to say that. How you know what I'll say?

I don't wear regular pajamas. She don't.

I got Sour Patches over here, too. Of course you do.

I had a better line than that, probably. [chuckles]

I haven't even… Pleasure.

I hope not. [chuckles]

I hope so. Don't stress.

I know. Man.

I know. I'm just saying… Stop. Stop yourself.

I know. It's weird. It's a suede one.

I know. Sometimes I fuck up. I don't know. [chuckles]

I like the new logo. Yeah?

I like your socks, very pretty. Thank you.

I love you. Bye. Mmm.

I mean, a little shook up, to be honest. [chuckles] Yeah.

I mean, look… Okay. Look at her.

I told you this. Oh, God!

I understand… Anyway, I ain't paying shit.

I was about to glow up. Mmm.

I was like, "God damn! Shit." [laughing] Fuck.

I was scared. You ain't gotta be scared.

I welcome it. Please. [chuckles] Thank you so much.

I will happily eat this MoonPie in bed. Mmm hmm.

I will oblige you. I'm gonna [exclaims]

I'll help clear the table. [Alicia] I love doing dishes.

I'll just keep that to my… Don't conceal it.

I'll see you up there. Yeah.

I'll sleep. Okay, great. Thank you. Perfect.

I'll stick to Sprite. We'll celebrate.

I'm about to take it out now, yes? Okay. Yeah.

I'm done. I am done. Jesus.

I'm down to do it. Oh, my God.

I'm gonna go and check on her. [Denise] Mmm hmm.

I'm good to go. It's a whole process.

I'm good. Thank you for asking. Okay, good.

I'm not as slim as you are. Sorry. [laughs]

I'm okay. Good.

I'm out of here. Okay.

I'm proud of you. [chuckles]

I'm so flattered. Yeah.

I'm sorry, Mom, but… Oy oy oy.

I'm sorry. It's all right.

I'm stressed out. Shit. [sighs] Okay.

I'm tired. I'm done. We had some flings.

if you wanna come over and assist. [chuckles]

Is there, like, organic deodorant? Yeah, man, it stinks.

Ish. Hmm.

It is like that. A sheer… Is it just like…

It was so hard. Mmm.

It's a good thing. Yeah.

It's about you. Look at this window. This window

It's all right, I'm strapped. [chuckles]

It's going to work. [sobbing] Okay.

It's going to work. Okay.

It's in Boerum Hill. Hmm.

It's like, "What? What is happening?" He's too rude.

It's not even that bad. [laughs] Ah!

It's not going… I'm fine. I don't believe you. We're good.

It's perfect. This is adjustable.

It's quite nice, 'cause She passed it down.

It's understandable. Okay.

It's weird, I know. Empty.

It's… It's not gonna hurt. Okay.

Just positive thoughts. Okay.

Justin's teething. Oh.

Let's do it. Let's do it.

Let's have pasta. Next time, we'll bring…

Let's say… Yeah?

Looking very good. Okay.

Love you, Ma. Don't worry, okay?

Maxwell's playin'. Love him.

Maybe she can give me more than you. Go find the bitch.

mine wasn't a fling. We work through this.

Mmm hmm. …but it's complicated.

Mmm hmm. [clears throat] Um…

Mmm hmm. [sighs]

Mmm hmm. Cool. I mean, but how do we even ask him?

Mmm hmm. It's gonna just take a second. Right.

Mmm hmm. Yeah. Yeah?

Mmm. Mmm?

Mmm. Um, through a mutual friend.

Mom, it wasn't even that bad. See?

Mrs., I Open your eyes and go find my details.

My only question is… Yeah?

Nah. Just cookies. Mmm.

No time out! What the fuck, man!

No worries. Sorry. But I love you.

No, I didn't. That's the problem. Shit.

No, no. For me. Okay.

No. My mom lives next to this family. Right.

No. This is elegant, that is not. [laughing]

Not as intellectual, but, you know… Ooh. [chuckles]

Nothing changes. All right? Mmm hmm.

Now you gotta do the gospel album. I do.

Now, I'm up. Now, I can't… [laughs]

Now, you're gonna embarrass us? We're cute together.

Oh, gosh. Yeah, it's crazy. Um… Jesus.

Oh, it is so good. Yes.

Oh, my God, my kitchen. I'm not drinking coffee off that.

Oh, my God! [Darius chuckles]

Oh, my God. He's got a good energy about him.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Mmm hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. I could keep eating forever.

Oh, my gosh. That's… Okay, I'm funny now. Really?

Oh, my… What? [chuckles]

Oh, no. [chuckles] What's The Sickening?

Oh, no. I felt so bad. I was like, "Really?"

Oh, really? …duo situation, yeah.

Oh, shit. [chuckles]

Oh, thank you. I wanted to know about this one.

Oh, you're gonna rehash that one? Well…

Oh! [both chuckle]

Oh? I'll bring my phone.

Oh. [Dr. Perkins] All right. Okay.

Oh. [chuckles] Yeah?

Oh… Good.

Okay, bye. Love you. Bye.

Okay, here we go again. [laughs]

Okay, hypothetical for you… Okay? Mmm. Okay.

Okay, I will. Yeah.

Okay, let's… let's enjoy this. [chuckling]

Okay, so, same procedure as normal. Yeah.

Okay, that's good. Well done.

Okay, then. Take care. Okay. Take care, bye.

Okay, tomorrow. Okay.

Okay, uh, all right. So sorry, no. You can come over here.

Okay? [chuckles] Okay.

Okay? [chuckles] Yeah.

Okay? Okay. All right.

Okay? With tinted windows. [snorts]

Okay. [laughing]

Okay. [sighs]

Okay. All right?

Okay. All right.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Uh huh.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Love you. Love you, too.

Okay. Right, ready? Yeah.

Okay. Right. I'm still horrified.

Okay. Take care. Thank you. Thank you.

Okay. Wait, I know that sounds crazy. It sounds crazy.

Okay. We've talked about this. Hmm.

Okay. Well done. [sighs]

Okay. You take care. Okay, take care.

One of my friends did it back in the day. Mmm.

Or should we leave it for today? [chuckles] No, come on, let's do it.

Please. Can we have a group hug?

Please. She had a PhD in chemistry. Yeah.

Positive. Yeah.

Really good. [Alicia] Thanks.

Right? Oh, yeah. I think I heard of them.

Right. Hmm.

Right. You're both just in different moments,

Right. Hmm. So, I come home.

See, that's why after that day… Yeah?

See? That's not what I was gonna say. What are you gonna say?

Seriously? Little cuddle before I go.

Seriously. My gosh.

She did? She's gone.

She out there. [chuckling] Yeah.

She was just like, "I don't wanna." [laughs]

Shit. Don't laugh. Don't laugh at me right now.

so it comes out knowin' the real. [laughing]

So now you don't wanna have a baby? [sniffles]

So they had to have a Black one. [chuckles] Yeah.

So you fucked her. Okay. All right, okay. [sighs]

So, what do you do for a living? [chuckles]

So, yeah. [Steve] Oh, no.

So… [Steve] This is nice.

Sold the chains, selling the house. I know.

Something wonderful is coming. [exhales deeply]

Sorry. You think I put the money up my ass?

Sorry. [sighs] Oh, no need to apologize.

Super bland. [sighs]

Sure, sure. All right.

Sure? Hmm.

Thank God. Yeah.

Thank you so much for everything. You're so welcome.

Thank you so much. You are so welcome.

Thank you, babe. You're welcome.

Thank you, darling. Bye! Bye. Bye!

Thank you, nurse. You're welcome.

Thank you! [sighs]

Thank you! It's so good.

Thank you. How have you been?

Thank you. I'm so happy.

Thank you. Nice, pretty green socks.

Thank you. She kills it.

Thank you. She kills it.

Thank you. Thank you so much, hon. Appreciate you, brother.

That curry goat, tender. Damn.

That loud laugh? Yeah.

That made me laugh. [snorts and laughs]

That's a lovely story. [chuckles] Thank you.

That's excellent. Wow.

That's weird. It's crazy.

that's willing to put up with your mess. Mmm.

Then we'll do the test. Yes? Thank you. Yeah.

There you go. [Alicia] Thank you.

They put this shit on Airbnb. [chuckles]

Thirteen? Yes.

This is amazing. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

This place is gorgeous. Look at this.

This place sucks. Yeah.

to see how tall the children are getting. [Mandy laughing]

Tommy for Alicia? [driver] Yes, ma'am.

Try it. I'll deliver that message ASAP.

Two… Two…

Uh, I'll talk to you soon? Tomorrow.

Uh, if you did do it… Mmm hmm.

Uh, no. She's not boring. [chuckles]

Uh, she's good. She's good. Yeah?

Um, okay, then… let's talk about writing. [softly] Okay.

We cannot talk about the "thing…" [chuckles]

We fucked up. Hon…

We gonna get away, let's get away. [chuckles] Let's do it properly!

We got to pray just to make it today. Come on.

We gotta be careful 'bout the toys. [Alicia] Yes.

We gotta do Behind the Music. [both laughing]

We gotta go to couple's therapy. The thing is, babe,

We were tight for about three days. [chuckles] We were.

We'll think about… …this shit will move fast.

We're in this together. Okay.

Well done, sweetie, okay? [sobs] Yeah.

Well done. Okay. Thank you.

Well done. Well done. [exhales deeply]

Well, good job today. Thank you.

Well, uh, how's it going otherwise? [sniffles]

What a beautiful home. Thanks so much.

What the fuck, bro? [sighs]

What the fuck? They colonized it. [Alicia] Oh, no.

What the hell? And what's that?

What the hell? Are you crazy? This is tiny.

What you think I'm gonna say? You'll say let's wait another year.

What? [chuckles] Nothin'.

What? [Denise] Mmm hmm.

What? Yeah.

What? Yeah.

What? Light skin Darius? Th… Darius, Darius.

What's going on? I'm stuck.

Whatever you want. All right. Okay. Yeah.

Where would I get money for the plugs? Maybe ask your parents.

Which is exciting. I mean, it'd be brilliant.

which is, like, weird, but… Hmm.

Who? Darius.

With bass in his voice. He's too rude.

Would that be okay? Can I actually call you back, please?

Wow. It smells lovely. [Denise] Oh, thank you.

Wow. Okay, um, bubbly? Yeah.

Yeah, I guess, like… [clears throat]

Yeah, I just wanna be cozy. That's right.

Yeah, I'm good. You okay?

Yeah, it's so sweaty. Is there anti

Yeah, okay. Go on, then. Yeah.

Yeah, we aim to please. Yes.

Yeah, you know, I'm good… Alicia, sorry.

Yeah? [sniffles] Yeah.

Yeah? But it's still gonna be cool.

Yeah? Hell yeah.

Yeah? I can't do shit.

Yeah? It's good news.

Yeah? Okay. Yeah.

Yeah? Peak caucacity.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah? All right, deep breath in. Mmm hmm.

Yeah? Cheer up. [chuckles] Mmm.

Yeah? You all right? Mmm.

Yeah. [chuckles] Okay.

Yeah. But… [exhales deeply]

Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Hmm.

Yeah. I feel like we all need a group hug.

Yeah. It's possible.

Yeah. Okay. [chuckles]

Yeah. Same night.

Yeah. Thank you, babe.

Yeah. Um, he is well read.

Yeah. Well done.

Yeah. What did you buy?

Yeah. She's still with us. You know?

Yeah. Very pretty. [laughs]

Yep. No, no, no.

Yes, I'm good. Thank you for coming. [Darius] Good, good.

Yes, please. Okay, I'll get you that.

Yes? Yeah.

Yes. [chuckles]

Yes. Great. Let's just see.

Yes. Okay.

Yes. I had a slave doll. You had a slave doll?

You all right there? Yep. [chuckles]

You always got me. [scoffs]

You are 37. Yes.

You are spoiled over here. Oh, I know. I know, man.

You buying them for me? I'll get you some.

You could've helped me with my hair. I could've got you hair plugs.

You did! You wanted to come… Oh, for fuck's sake.

You didn't. I respected them.

You do? Yeah.

You don't know me. Mmm.

You gonna like 'em, too. [chuckles]

You heat that up in the microwave? Of course.

You just rub it on your baby's gums… Mmm hmm.

You knew the words, didn't you? I did.

You know I'm here for you, right? Yeah.

You know what's weird? [exhales]

You know? I'm sorry.

You like him? Mmm hmm.

You look good to me. [exclaims softly]

You lucky I love your ass. Yeah, I am.

You okay? Okay, yeah…

You promise? Mmm hmm. Mmm.

You really went full Hammer. [chuckling]

You seeing someone? Yeah.

You sure? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be fine. Um…

You sure? Yeah.

You up for a visitor? Yeah.

You wanna talk? Yes.

You want me to buy you one? No, I don't.

You want me to stop? No, no, just…

You'll still be feeling groggy. [sighs]

You're free. You could be free.

You're so modest. Y'all are cute together.

…and decided she wanted to get Justin a motorized car as well.

…because the flip don't do shit.

…good quality embryos, Alicia.

…he remixes it,

…I got off all social media.

…is that, you know how Granny had that laugh?

…live in the country, have the vintage trimmings.

…one of the things I'm worried about is the money.

…said it because I've been in a trance with these flavors.

…that you wanted it as much as I did, but…

…the next step. Take it really slow.

…trading war stories about our kids.

…why was everybody so damn happy that you was marrying somebody else?

…would my role be the same? Just swing by the house?

'Cause I gotta go see if I hit somethin'.

'Cause I was a lesbian straight out the gate.

'Cause I'm about to stress my ass out.

'Cause it ain't gonna really start till 10:00.

'cause that one the flip definitely don't do.

'cause we don't have shit goin' on.

'Cause we're gonna have a baby.

'Cause you got the head wraps goin',

'Cause you never call me anymore.

'Cause you said, "Let's talk about it in a year."

'Cause, you know…

'Round the corner from, like, 500 teddy bears. [chuckles]

"All medication must be taken within a two hour window."

"And where are you trying to go?"

"Babe, I'm ready for a kid now."

"Back to our regularly scheduled programming."

"Can you work this weekend?"

"Got this huge opportunity, five book deal, mega deal."

"Hey, aren't you that scientist?" Or something like that?

"Hey, can you come a little earlier on Monday?"

"Hey, wanna date a part time TaskRabbit?"

"I don't have any of that." You know?

"Injections must be administered three times a day."

"It'll happen. It'll happen. One day, it'll happen."

"It's gonna be a franchise, turn into movies, gonna be huge." Right?

"Knee deep in pussy"? Who am I, Barry White?

"Ma, how come you ain't got no Audi?"

"Oh, no, Denise."

"Serious" is never a good way to start a conversation.

"She ain't got much time left."

"The Three Loves of Althea Waters

"We're still, like, working out the kinks on the model."

"What do you want out of us?"

"What if it's me? What if I'm the problem here?"

"You gotta go to hell for a little while."

"You wanna come over for dinner and then shoot the club up for dessert."

["Back To Life" playing over speakers]

["Danza Kuduro" playing over speakers]

["Everybody Everybody" by Black Box playing]

["Je Te Veux" playing]

["Who Knows Where the Time Goes" by Nina Simone playing]

[alarm beeping]

[alarm continues chiming]

[alarm stops]

[Alicia chuckles softly]

[Alicia chuckles]

[Alicia chuckles]

[Alicia chuckling]

[Alicia chuckling] It's so small.

[Alicia exhales deeply]

[Alicia exhales] Right. Okay.

[Alicia groans softly]

[Alicia grunts and chuckles]

[Alicia laughing]

[Alicia laughing] It was the last warning.

[Alicia sighs]

[Alicia sighs]

[Alicia sighs]

[Alicia sighs]

[Alicia sighs]

[Alicia sighs]

[Alicia sighs]

[Alicia whispers] For fuck's sake.

[Alicia] Ah…

[Alicia] All right, baby.

[Alicia] Be back in just a minute.

[Alicia] Come in, darlin'.

[Alicia] Cordelia?

[Alicia] Hi. Um, I was told Denise Watkins is here. I'm her wife.

[Alicia] Hmm.

[Alicia] Hmm.

[Alicia] Hmm.

[Alicia] Hmm.

[Alicia] I want our baby to be hopeful for the future but realistic.

[Alicia] It's because you're thinking about yourself.

[Alicia] Mmm mmm.

[Alicia] Mmm.

[Alicia] Oh, man.

[Alicia] Oh, no.

[Alicia] Okay.

[Alicia] Okay. Oh, my God.

[Alicia] Sorry.

[Alicia] That's nice, man.

[Alicia] This is mental.

[Alicia] Uh, I found it off a vintage cookbook, actually.

[Alicia] Uh, I told her I needed a weekend to myself.

[Alicia] Uh, what?

[Alicia] Uh, yeah. Um, actually,

[Alicia] What about the writing, though, you think you're gonna…

[Alicia] What? Wait a minute. [chuckling] Wait a minute.

[Alicia] Why is the table so small?

[Alicia] Wow.

[Alicia] Yeah?

[Alicia] Yeah.

[Alicia] Yep. Yeah, yep. One second.

[all chuckle]

[both chuckle softly]

[both chuckle]

[both chuckle]

[both chuckle]

[both chuckle]

[both chuckle]

[both chuckle]

[both chuckle]

[both chuckle]

[both chuckling]

[both continue laughing and talking indistinctly]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laughing]

[both laughing]

[both laughing]

[both laughing]

[both sigh]

[boy screaming]

[boy] Oh, I can't take it!

[brakes squeal]

[breathes deeply]

[breathes deeply] But… Yeah.

[breathing deeply]

[breathing deeply]

[breathing deeply] Oh.

[Candy] Mmm.

[car alarm blaring]

[car approaching]

[car departing]

[car departs]

[car door opens and closes]

[car door opens and closes]

[car engine starts]

[cell phone alarm chimes]

[cell phone alarm ringing]

[cell phone vibrating]

[cell phone vibrating]

[cell phone vibrating]

[chickens clucking]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles] It's actually sweet. I think it's really sweet.

[chuckles] It's mad.

[chuckles] Oh, shit.

[chuckles] So, yeah, I love it. She's got the gold hoops,

[chuckles] Tell 'em. Maybe they'll wanna invest.

[chuckles] Thank you.

[chuckles] That's my alarm, um…

[chuckles] To be honest, not great.

[chuckles] Um, I don't know. It depends on the day. I think…

[chuckles] Well, look, I'm still really honored to be a part of this.

[chuckles] Yeah.

[chuckles] Yeah.

[chuckles] Yeah. Maybe say it quietly in a restaurant, but, yeah.

[chuckles] Yeah. Oh, my God.

[chuckling softly]

[chuckling] After that second book got dragged,

[chuckling] and I really see what it does to you.

[chuckling] I know. She loved you, too, actually.

[chuckling] I want a kid who can't handle spicy food. It's adorable.

[chuckling] Light skin Darius. Coming through.

[chuckling] Oh, wow. Look at this.

[chuckling] What?

[chuckling] Wow.

[chuckling] You buy the ones that are pre cut into squares?

[chuckling] You've gotta lick her armpits every day for a… for a year.

[classical music playing faintly over speakers]

[clears throat and turns alarm off]

[clears throat]

[closes faucet]

[clucking]

[cookies clattering into trash]

[Cordelia] Alicia, hi, it's Cordelia.

[Cordelia] Alicia?

[Cordelia] Oh, dear.

[Cordelia] Okay. You all right?

[Cordelia] You ready?

[crying softly]

[crying] Okay.

[crying] Okay.

[Darius chuckles]

[Darius] That was incredible.

[Darius] Where did you get this recipe?

[Denise grunts]

[Denise sighs]

[Denise sighs]

[Denise softly] Okay.

[Denise speaking indistinctly]

[Denise taping box]

[Denise] All right. And…

[Denise] God damn, that's early.

[Denise] Hmm.

[Denise] How was the drive? I know it's a ways out.

[Denise] I got it. There's no air bubbles in it.

[Denise] I mean, I don't know.

[Denise] I'm trying to write another book, figure out what I'm doing.

[Denise] It is weird.

[Denise] It's like a Law and Order: SVU episode.

[Denise] Jesus Christ.

[Denise] Look at these weird ass fabrics.

[Denise] Mmm hmm.

[Denise] Mmm hmm.

[Denise] Okay, hold on. We may have to cut this off.

[Denise] Really?

[Denise] Shawty got the Cribs tour.

[Denise] She thinks I'm going to a writer's retreat.

[Denise] There's a little bit of this left. Where's my lighter?

[Denise] Time out.

[Denise] Uh uh.

[Denise] We gotta start watchin' Roots while the baby in the womb,

[Denise] Welcome to the past.

[Denise] Where does Regina think you're goin'?

[Denise] Why they got auburn on the placemats?

[Denise] Yeah, now you can.

[Denise] You still look really good to me, man.

[Dev sighs]

[Dev] I feel like I'm on Walden Pond. Reshmi, look at this.

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door opens and closes]

[door opens and closes]

[door opens and closes]

[door opens]

[door opens]

[door opens]

[door opens]

[door opens]

[doorbell ringing]

[doorbell rings]

[doorbell rings]

[Dr. Perkins] Alicia.

[Dr. Perkins] All right. Kat, are we ready to retrieve?

[Dr. Perkins] Bring the bed up a little bit, please.

[Dr. Perkins] Great. All right.

[Dr. Perkins] Great. All right. Here we go.

[Dr. Perkins] Great. Good.

[Dr. Perkins] Great. Shevon, are you ready to go?

[Dr. Perkins] Is everybody ready to start?

[Dr. Perkins] Kat, are you ready to go?

[Dr. Perkins] Okay.

[Dr. Perkins] Thank you.

[Dr. Perkins] Thank you.

[Dr. Perkins] Thank you.

[electric toothbrush whirring]

[engine starts]

[engine starts]

[exhales and laughs]

[exhales deeply]

[exhales deeply]

[exhales deeply]

[exhales deeply]

[exhales deeply]

[exhales deeply]

[exhales deeply]

[exhales deeply]

[exhales deeply]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales] It's a lot of… information.

[exhales] No, it's snowing, it's cold. It's really fine.

[exhales] There's just so much stuff.

[footsteps receding]

[footsteps receding]

[footsteps receding]

[gags]

[garbage truck beeping]

[gasps]

[groans] I feel like the porn they have in hospitals is always kind of weird.

[groans] No one uses the drops, for the millionth time.

[grunts softly]

[grunts softly]

[grunts softly] Can you come here?

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts] Yeah, a pinch or something, right?

[gun cocking]

[hesitates] Uh, how would that work?

[horns honking]

[Hudson] No, sorry. My name is Hudson Clay.

[imperceptible]

[imperceptible]

[imperceptible]

[imperceptible]

[imperceptible]

[imperceptible]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[inhales deeply]

[inhales deeply]

[Kat] I'm just getting her to relax.

[Kat] Ready, Doctor.

[Kat] Yes, Doctor.

[Kat] Yes, Doctor.

[keys thud]

[knock on door]

[knock on door]

[knock on door]

[knock on door]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing] I love you so much.

[laughing] Oh, my God.

[laughing] Okay, wait. I just have one more question, one more.

[laughing] That's funny.

[laughing] That's… Don't. Stop.

[laughing] Why are they trying to get rid of this place?

[laughing] Yeah?

[laughs and sniffles]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] It feels like it. Straight up.

[laughs] That's good to know. Good night, baby.

[Lauren] Oh!

[Lauren] Thank you.

[line ringing]

[line ringing]

[machine drilling faintly]

[man grunts]

[man on TV] She's an expert in pretty much nothing.

[man] Cameron, please.

[man] I understand it's too spicy, but you can't scream in a restaurant.

[man] New Country Crock plant butter, cooks, bakes and tastes…

[man] Now, Candy likes two things.

[man] Of all the great American singers, she was probably the great linguist.

[man] Shh.

[Mandy] Oh, it's gorgeous.

[Mandy] This could totally be a nursery.

[mimicking sheep] Nah.

[monitor beeping faintly]

[monitor beeping]

[monitor beeping]

[monitor beeping]

[monitor beeping]

[monitor beeping]

[mumbles] Yeah.

[music stops]

[opens faucet]

[operatic song playing]

[operatic song playing]

[operatic song playing]

[operatic song playing]

[operatic song playing]

[operatic song playing]

[operatic song playing]

[operator] Thank you for calling Hope and Heart Fertility.

[operator] Thank you for calling Hope and Heart Fertility.

[operator] Thank you for calling Hope and Heart Fertility.

[panting]

[Paula] And you've got this beautiful arch.

[Paula] Here's the kitchen,

[Paula] Mind the steps there.

[Paula] Take a look around. Take your time.

[Paula] Thank you. Follow me.

[Paula] This is not an island. This will be going.

[Paula] Uh, you know, they're actually going through

[Phil] Alicia, can you come up for a second?

[Phil] Alicia, can you come upstairs one minute?

[phone ringing]

[receptionist] Kate Forbes?

[receptionist] Kate Forbes?

[Reshmi] Oh. I'm reading this right now.

[Reshmi] Wow. This is beautiful.

[rooster crows]

[scoffs]

[scoffs] All right. Well, I feel like all you're ingesting is them deals.

[scoffs] I hate having to be a sheep, man.

[scoffs] It's this thing called American Girl.

[scoffs] Of course it is. Jesus.

[scoffs] There is no cut when it comes to you, Dev.

[shakily] Yeah.

[Sharon sighs]

[Sharon] Hello?

[Sharon] I don't know, Leesh. [inhales deeply]

[Shevon] Next tube.

[Shevon] Preparing the needle.

[Shevon] Preparing the second tube. Ready, Doctor.

[Shevon] Prepping the tube.

[Shevon] Ready.

[sighs deeply]

[sighs deeply]

[sighs deeply]

[sighs in frustration]

[sighs in relief] Okay.

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs] And that doesn't quite fit.

[sighs] Fine. I'll drive you home.

[sighs] I just… I don't know. I don't know.

[sighs] No. No, I think I got it, you know?

[sighs] Okay, uh, I guess I'll just talk to our lawyers,

[singing] ♪ How ever do you need me ♪

[singing] ♪ Look, oh ♪

[smacks lips]

[smacks lips] Fuck this.

[sniffles]

[sniffles]

[sniffles] Okay.

[sniffles] Okay.

[sniffles] Yeah. Um…

[sniffling and crying]

[sniffling]

[sniffling] Yeah. You know, I was gonna order some food.

[sobbing] Bye.

[sobbing] It's hard.

[sobs] What if it doesn't work?

[softly] Check it out.

[softly] Fuck.

[softly] Hey. I'm going.

[softly] I know.

[softly] Wait a minute, wait a minute.

[softly] Yeah.

[softly] Yeah.

[song continues playing]

[song continues playing]

[speculum rattling]

[spluttering] No, I'm good. I'm just at work, so, um…

[splutters] I'm never doing that shit again.

[Steve] I like that as a feature. That's nice.

[Steve] Okay, let's go see what we got.

[Steve] The island, is it staying?

[suspenseful music playing on TV]

[thuds]

[to the tune of "I'm Every Woman"] ♪ I'm every chicken ♪

[toothbrush vibrating]

[trash can opens and closes]

[turns faucet off]

[typing]

[typing]

[vocalizing]

[water flowing]

[water running from faucet]

[water running]

[water trickling from faucet]

[whispering] Fuckin' hell.

[whispers] I just don't wanna do this again.

[whispers] Oh, God.

[whispers] Oh, my God… [inhales deeply]

[woman crying]

[woman exhales deeply]

[woman sighs and turns off alarm]

[zipper zips]

♪ Across the morning sky ♪

♪ All the birds are leaving ♪

♪ Baby girl, baby girl, I'm stuck ♪

♪ Back to life ♪

♪ Back to reality ♪

♪ Back to the here and now Oh, yeah… ♪

♪ Back to the present time… ♪

♪ Before the winter fire ♪

♪ But I feel it forever No time in my life ♪

♪ Everybody ♪

♪ Everybody, everybody ♪

♪ Everybody, everybody ♪

♪ Everybody, everybody ♪

♪ Finally, it happened to her ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hit it Oh, you want? ♪

♪ How can they know ♪

♪ How ever do you need me ♪

♪ How ever do you need me ♪

♪ How ever do you want me ♪

♪ How ever do you want me ♪

♪ How ever do you want me ♪

♪ I do not count the time ♪

♪ In your power ♪

♪ It's all in you… ♪

♪ Oh, everybody ♪

♪ Oh, everybody Oh, everybody ♪

♪ Oh, you got me ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Set it free ♪

♪ Set it free ♪

♪ She found someone that's on her level ♪

♪ She's got it going on She's killing it in the streets ♪

♪ Stuck Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ That it's time to go? ♪

♪ We'll still be dreaming ♪

♪ When I said it was over You aimed at my heart ♪

♪ Who knows where the time goes? ♪

♪ Who knows where the time goes? ♪

♪ Who knows where the time goes? ♪

♪ Who knows where the time goes? ♪

♪ Won't be long for I'm leaving, oh, my love ♪

♪ You can call that no livin' on my own So free ♪

♪ You got me ♪