Easy A (2010) Soundboard Edit

A boy

A harlot?

A snide comment from a snotty girl in my class.

A whole weekend?

Although, after all the trouble I caused..

And every day at school is like I'm being suffocated.

And Marianne Bryant and her disciples are demanding my head.

And neither do you, you selfish bitch

And the whole world knows I've been whoring around

And there are some of us who are just trying to blend in to the crowd.

And what better way to share my private thoughts..

Are you going to Melody Bostic's party?

Because a real whore can't admit it to herself, much less others. Trust me.

Because it wasn't real, you know?

Blue Devil!

But even that is better than Sanjay Chandrasekhar.

But for people who knew the truth, I was open for business.

But we're a family of late bloomers

Bye

Bye, Nina.

Chris Miller, big spender that he is...

Do you wanna have sex with me or not?

Either way, I decided to help.

Except that's the one thing the movies don't tell you:

Excuse my language... A skank.

For the first time ever, my sexual exploits were the talk of the school.

For the main event, log on to www.FreeOlive.com tonight at 6 p.m.

George is not a sexy name

God, you are pathetic.

Goddamn it.

Guys, come over here.

Guys, we were gonna do this at the right time.

He's dressed like a lobster.

He's not the sharpest Christian in the Bible, all right?

Hey, man.

Hey, Olive

Hey, Olive!

Hi. Is there an Olive here?

Honor your father and your mother.

How about that?

How did you know I love this song?

How don't I know any of this?

I already did.

I ate dinner at her house once and I swore, never again

I could have chlamydia.

I didn't have time to read the whole thing..

I didn't know what they were so upset about.

I don't know when it'll happen.

I forget that my respiratory system will collapse.

I guessed

I had done the crime. I was gonna do the time.

I hope you at least had the good sense to use protection.

I just mean, not like this.

I know it sounds kind of lame, but they really do have some awesome stuff.

I know, but what was I supposed to say?

I know. What the hell, right?

I liked Todd much better when he was topless.

I love you guys. God loves you guys. Now, let's change lives today.

I mean, even the whores and the homosexuals, but it's just so hard.

I meant about Gibbons being a fascist.

I might be wrong...

I should just say I had sex with someone. A girl

I slept with a whole bunch of people. A slew, a heap, a peck. Mostly guys.

I still can't believe you remember that.

I think she's going through a phase.

I think that's how you start these things.

I thought it'd be aspirational.

I was wondering what your church's stance on lying and adultery was.

I would've come with and held your hair.

I'm sorry, I just... I was looking for Marianne

If this is because I'm more popular than you, then I think what you're...

Is everything all right? It sounds like you're having sex in here...

Is that Olive with Brandon?

It could be called The Painfully Obvious with Olive Penderghast...

It leads to unwanted pregnancy, all sorts of things

It was a quick rehearsal. I only had one line.

It was normal. You know? Nothing freaky

It's pathetic

Jacket off. Come on

Jesus tells us to love everyone.

Jesus, what is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady parts?

Just once, I want my life to be like an '80s movie.

Let me just begin by saying that there are two sides to every story

Maybe it was because I was wearing clothes that were two sizes too small.

Maybe it was becoming a habit of mine to help the downtrodden..

Maybe that whole stuck up, Jesus freak thing is an act. You know?

Maybe this is gonna sound stupid..

Micah is in the hospital. He is in so much pain.

Mismatched tires on your vehicle, which is nonexistent

Mrs. Griffith is amazing...

My apologies to Mark Twain

My sheets. Put a towel down.

No

No offense, but you could probably learn something from me, Brando.

No way

No, I do not care that you gave me chlamydia. I don't!

No, I think she's just a stuck up Jesus freak.

No, thank you. I'm trying to watch my figure.

No.

Not to mention how you've been dressing the last few days.

Oh, haven't you heard? I'm the new school slut.

Oh, I thought I was gonna have to spend my dowry...

Oh, my God, she knew how I felt about you.

Oh, that's great. Daughter of the Year.

Okay, first of all, he is of age, okay?

Okay, so we'll just say there's a hell.

Okay.

Okay. Go. It's all right.

Olive, hey. Let me drive you home.

Olive, sweetie

Olive. Olive.

Preferably to the Gap, but I will also take Amazon.com or OfficeMax.

Remember how I told you Google Earth couldn't find me..

Rhi, I cannot go camping with you, okay?

Save yourself, Olive.

See you. Stay excellent.

Seems as if someone's on a downward spiral

She texted me in first period.

So here it is. Part one

So I went to find one with a real live human being.

So I'm gonna break it down for you. I'm gonna throw some rhymes

So Marianne spread the rumor

So, what did we do on this date?

Sorry.

Sounds like a lot of work

Speak of the devil. Hello.

Thank you.

That rhymed. I liked it.

That would be when everyone is putting everything up on Facebook.

That's Todd.

That's what I do.

The accelerated velocity of terminological inexactitude.

The funny thing is, the whole time this all was going down...

The next night was the party at Melody Bostic's house

The principal's like the captain of the ship in international waters.

The town realizes she was too harshly judged...

Then what would be worse, lying or adultery?

There's a whole jar of them in the fridge

This girl, Hester Prynne, has an affair with a minister..

To set the story straight:

Two hundred dollars to The Home Depot.

Wait, you started the rumor?

We used to carpool.

Welcome. This is where the magic happens.

Well, don't they sort of go hand in hand?

Well, the next day it could find me

Well, the reason I called you in was just so we could...

What are you doing? Can you...? Can you come here, please?

What would my punishment have been otherwise?

What?

What's your problem?

Whatever. This isn't about me, this is about you

Why don't people just watch the original movie like I did?

Why should I? She brought it on herself.

Why? Your parents didn't.

Yeah, but you get Family Member of the Week every week.

Yeah, in 2nd grade. What, are you like a savant for people's addresses?

Yeah, well, mine is...

Yeah, why are you here?

Yeah.

Yes, sir.

You can have them when you get taller.

You can use my room.

You gave me a gift card to AutoZone. I don't even have a car

You know, I didn't wanna believe it, but I guess it's true.

You know, it was just like Hester in The Scarlet Letter.

You're not even a real slut. You just want people to think you are

Your father is as straight as they come.

And balls. Enjoy eating your balls.

Are you gonna be okay? Yes, I'm gonna be okay.

Big tits

Can you not see that I'm a mess? No, you're not, Olive

Disney World is more liberal. Oh, yeah.

Don't stop. Yeah! Don't stop. It's too much fun.

Guys

Here you go. I really don't need those.

Here. What is this?

I have a gift certificate. Keep the tip. Thanks.

I was here all weekend, right? Yes, yes, yes.

I'll deny it if you do. Okay.

I'll pay you whatever you want. I don't want your money, Brandon.

It's actually a funny story. Olive

Olive's gonna do a gay dude. Thanks. Close the shades.

She's not a virgin anymore? I can't believe it

Spell it with your peas. Yeah, spell it with your peas. Do it.

Stop

Watch your mouth. Sorry.

What are you doing? Relax.

What? The guy I slept with. I made him up.

Yeah. Yes, you were upstairs

Yeah. That's the one. Bi ? Bi ? What's bi ?

You know what I'm talking about. Jeez.

You said something. You said something.

You think I'm cool? I do.

...about some very personal things

...and he doesn't wanna get in trouble either, so he said it's you.

...and president of the Cross Your Heart Club..

...and students are partners in learning..

...are onto something. You know, like Marianne Bryant.

...be guilty of adultery.

...because he knows he got me.

...because it's, you know, a little easier

...but mostly because her parents let her have these parties...

...chairman of the Orange Blossom dance committee..

...for no apparent reason.

...I don't know, special?

...I showed him mine, but he did not show me his.

...is that Hester lived in an entirely different time.

...of how I lost my virginity to a guy at a community college

...or for those who said you did but really didn't,

...to an actual home wrecker.

...waiting outside the bedroom door for me to kiss Todd...

...wanted my diseased ass out of there

...we got it on during Chemistry.

...where he could finish telling me that thing that's funny...

...which is really funny.

...would you rather cheer on the Woodchucks...