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Monty Python's Flying Circus - Season 2 Monty Python's Flying Circus - Season 2, which aired in 1970, was a groundbreaking

Monty Python's Flying Circus - Season 2

Monty Python's Flying Circus - Season 2, which aired in 1970, was a groundbreaking British sketch comedy television show that pushed the boundaries of humor and absurdity. Created by the comedic geniuses Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, and Terry Gilliam, Monty Python's Flying Circus became a cult phenomenon and is still hailed as one of the most influential comedy series of all time.

The second season of Monty Python's Flying Circus continued the wacky and unpredictable style established in the first season. It consisted of thirteen episodes, each filled with an array of surreal sketches, musical numbers, and clever wordplay. The show's unique format, which discarded traditional punchlines and often blended sketches together in bizarre ways, delighted audiences and set the stage for future sketch comedy shows.

The ensemble cast of Monty Python's Flying Circus brought their own distinct comedic style to the screen. Graham Chapman, known for his impeccable timing and ability to portray authority figures, added a layer of sincerity to even the most absurd characters. John Cleese, renowned for his physical comedy and dry wit, effortlessly switched between a variety of hilarious roles. Eric Idle's versatility shone as he embodied flamboyant characters and seamlessly transitioned into singing upbeat musical numbers. Terry Jones, with his chameleon-like abilities, effortlessly transformed into various female roles, showcasing his comedic range. Michael Palin's charm and wide-eyed innocence made him a lovable and relatable character in the midst of the chaos. Finally, Terry Gilliam's unique animations and surreal visual style became an integral part of Monty Python's Flying Circus, providing an extra layer of absurdity to the sketches.

The sketches in Season 2 of Monty Python's Flying Circus covered a wide range of topics, often satirizing and parodying various aspects of British society. From iconic sketches such as "The Ministry of Silly Walks," in which Cleese played a government official showcasing absurd walking techniques, to the unforgettable "Spanish Inquisition" sketches, which spoofed both historical events and exaggerations of bureaucratic inefficiency, the show consistently showcased its ability to find humor in the most unexpected places.

Another unforgettable sketch from Season 2 is "The Lumberjack Song," which became one of Monty Python's most beloved musical numbers. Sung by Palin, the "Lumberjack Song" follows the life of a man who starts as a lumberjack but dreams of becoming a female impersonator. With its catchy tune and clever lyrics, the song perfectly captures the absurdity and tongue-in-cheek nature of the Python's humor.

For fans of Monty Python's Flying Circus, the ability to play and download the sounds from Season 2 is a wonderful opportunity to relive the hilarity and absurdity of the show. From the iconic catchphrases like "And now for something completely different" and "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" to the distinctive voices and performances of each cast member, these sounds encapsulate the essence of Monty Python's unique brand of comedy.

Whether you are a longtime fan or just discovering Monty Python's Flying Circus, immersing yourself in the sounds of Season 2 is a delightful journey into the absurd and irreverent world of these comedic legends. So, grab a cup of tea, settle into your favorite chair, and get ready to laugh until your sides hurt as you listen to the unforgettable sounds of Monty Python's Flying Circus - Season 2.

To enhance your Monty Python experience, you can play and download these sounds by visiting the official Monty Python website. Relive the timeless comedy that has continued to entertain audiences for over five decades and discover why Monty Python's Flying Circus - Season 2 remains an iconic masterpiece in the world of comedy.

A "WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN?" T SHIRT
A bit awkward, eh?
A BIT OF A PUZZLE, REALLY.
A bit of an old fusspot just now, you know
A BLUE AND WHITE COOKEASI.
A BREAK FOR IT AT NIGHTFALL.
A BUFFALO WITH AN AQUALUNG.
A BURGLARY IN WHICH SOMEONE GETS STABBED IS MURDER.
A CHAP FROM POMMY LAND
A CHICKEN, SIR, CERTAINLY, HERE WE ARE.
A COACH PARTY'S JUST ARRIVED.
A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.
A COMPLEX OF TOMBS...
A CONVICTED GANGSTER AND WELL KNOWN SWELL GUY.
A CRATE OF SEARCH WARRANTS
A deliberate attempt at cheap sensationalism.
A DISEASE MINERS GET.
A FEW WEEKS LATER.
A fishy requisite t t t t t...
A FIVER DOWN, MUST BE MY FINAL OFFER.
A FOUR MONTH SUPPLY OF INTERESTING UNDERGARMENTS
A FULLY MOTORIZED PIG
A GAIN FOR THE SILLY PARTY AT LUTON
A good laugh.
A GRUDGE?!
A HANDFUL OFMUD...
A HIGH CLASS NIGHTCLUB FOR THE GENTRY
A HORSE!
A HORSE!
A host of golden daffodils Beside the lake, beneath the trees Fluttering and dancing in the breeze
A JOKE?
A LETTER. A LETTER.
A LICENCE FOR MY PET FISH ERIC.
A LITTLE BIT SHORT, BUT IT'S COMING IN A BIT THERE
A LITTLE BIT SHORT, BUT IT'S COMING IN A BIT THERE
A LITTLE CONFUSION.
A LITTLE RODENTAL PROBLEM.
A LITTLE SMILE, PLEASE.
A LOONY, I SHALL HAVE TO ASK YOU TO STEP OUTSIDE!
A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE ASKED US
A LOT OF PROTECTION, THAT SORT OF THING.
A LOT OF RELIGIONS NO NAMES, NO PACK DRILL
A LOUD BUZZING NOISE IN MY LEFT EAR.
A MAN WHO SAYS THINGS IN A VERY ROUNDABOUT WAY.
A MAN'S LIFE WASN'T WORTH THE PAPER IT WAS PRINTED ON.
A MURDER?
A NEW STRENGTH!
A NEW WA VE OF INTEREST IN POLITICSAND POLITICIANS.
A PINK FORM FROM READING.
A PLACID, TIMID CREATURE
A PLEA FOR UNDERSTANDING IN A MECHANIZED WORLD.
A POLITICAL STRUGGLE.
A POSITIVE AND MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL ALLIANCE
A PRICES STRUCTURE RELATED TO ANY IMPORT CHARGES
A PRIZE WHICH THEY CAN FLOG BACK
A PUNCH IN THE THROAT?
A RATHER, UM, SUBJECTIVE APPROACH TO IT.
A REAL FAILURE THAT WAS TEN SECONDS OF SOLID BOREDOM.
A SALES CAMPAIGN.
A scheduled flight to cuba.
A SCRAP METAL DEALER AND TV QUIZMASTER
A SENSIBLE GAIN HEREAT DRIFFIELD
A SIMPLE COUNTRY GIRL WHO TOOK A VOW OF ETERNAL BRUTALITY.
A SMALL TIME OPERATOR WHO FELL FOUL OF DINSDALE PIRANHA
A SPOKESMAN FOR PARROTS SAID
A spokesman for the sketch said he fuLly expected it
A SUMERIAN DRINKING VESSEL OF THE FOURTH DYNASTY.
A SUPERB DISPLAY OF INERTIA THERE.
A SUPERB SHOT OF NO KIND WHATSOEVER.
A tale so gripping that they said it could not be filmed.
A TEMPORARY DISPATCH NOTE.
A THING THAT WAS NOT ON TOP OF ANOTHER THING IN ANY WAY.
A THREE PIECE LOUNGE SUITE
A TOTALLY DIFFERENT KIND OF SPECIMEN
A trip to our dairy will cure you
A unique event in cinema history
A VERSION OF MICHAEL STEWART'S SPEECH ON NIGERIA
A VERY FUNNY FUNNY WALK.
A VITAL PSYCHO SOCIAL SERVICE FOR THIS COMMUNITY.
A WACKY NEW COMEDY SERIES
A WEEKEND FOR TWO WITH PETER BONETTI
A WHAT?
A what?
A WORLD WHERE MEN AND WOMEN OFALL RACESAND CREEDS
A... A FLOWER GROWS.
ABDUL!
ABDUL!
About people who hold things up
ABOUT RAILWAY TIMETABLES
About shows which have too many complaints in them
About some inaccuracies in the preceding film
ABOUT SPINY NORMAN.
ABOUT THE GA Y EXPLOITS OF TWO TELEVISION CRICKET COMMENTATORS
About the poet ewan mcteagle.
ABOUT THE, UH, LIFE INSURANCE.
About these modern airliners.
ABOUT YOUR LATEST FILM, THE TWELVE CAESARS
Absolutely guaranteed. With refills.
ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.
Absolutely.
Access would be from Dibbingley Road.
ACTING ON A HUNCH
ACTION!
ACTIVE RECUPERATION TECHNIQUES.
Actually I think he's rather overdoing it. Ah!
ACTUALLY I'M THE COUNCIL RATCATCHER.
ACTUALLY NAILING YOUR HEAD TO THE FLOOR.
Actually what happens is he goes off there, off camera, and just waits there
Actually, i find violence extremely distasteful...
Actually, i'm a gynecologist but that was my lunch hour.
Actually, i'm a gynecologist, but this is my lunch hour.
ACTUALLY, TIMMY
ACTUALLY, TIMMY, THE THING IS, IT'S A BIT PRIVATE.
Adapted for radio
Adapted for the radio by Bernard HoLLowood and Brian London.
ADJOURNMENT? CERTAINLY NOT.
ADMITTED 78 YEAR OLD GENIAL JURISPRUDE MALTRA VERS
Afraid our regular psychiatrist
AFRICA.
AFTER "THREE," OKAY?
AFTER 6:00 P.M., 9424047.
AFTER 6:00 P.M., 9424077
AFTER ALL, A MURDERER IS ONLY AN EXTROVERTED SUICIDE.
AFTER ALL, HE ONLY DID WHAT MOST OF US SIMPLY DREAM OF DOING.
AFTER ONE OF THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY TRIALS
AFTER THREE FIGHTS AND ONLY TWO CONVICTIONS
AFTER THREE YEARS OF STUDY
AFTER WALKING THE HUSKIES
AGAINST INTERNATIONAL COMMUNISM.
AGAINST THE DARKIES.
AGAINST THE EXETER AMATEUR OPERATIC SOCIETY
AGAINST THE LONDON POOVES ON SATURDAY.
Against which ewan mcteagle writes such poems
AGNES, ARE YOU AWAKE?
Agnes: AND THE NOISE.
Agnes: OH, YES.
Agnes: YES, BLACK AS THE ACE OF SPADES.
AGNES?
AGNES?
Ah can do. But won't.
Ah yes, it's Mr Wiggin of Ironside and Malone.
Ah, certainly. Walk this way, please.
Ah, come in.
Ah, come in.
Ah, come in.
AH, ELEVENSES!
AH, FROG.
AH, GOOD MORNING, MR. JENKINS.
AH, GOOD MORNING.
AH, HELLO, DUCKIE.
AH, HELLO, HELLO.
Ah, hello, you don't know me, but I'm from the BBC.
AH, HERE WE ARE.
AH, HERE'S THE COFFEE.
Ah, i'm terribly sorry.
Ah, I've got mackerel, or cod, or hake...
AH, IT'S GREAT!
AH, JOHN...
AH, JOHN...
AH, MR. DOCTOR.
AH, MR. LUXURY YACHT.
AH, NO, NO.
AH, NO, THAT WAS WHEN YOU WERE MARRIED.
Ah, not you m'lud, that m'lud, m'lud,
AH, NOW YOU'RE BEGINNING TO TALK...
Ah, thingy.
AH, WELL, DO SIT DOWN, THEN
AH, WELL, THEY SEEM TO HAVE LINKED THAT THEMSELVES
AH, WELL, THIS IS YOUR FREE DEAD INDIAN, AS ADVERTISED.
Ah, won't be a moment.
AH, YES, SIR.
AH, YES.
AH, YES.
AH, YES.
AH, YOU WISH TO BUY IT?
AH!
AH!
AH!
AH! BRIAN CLOSE.
AH! HERE COMES THE BOSSFELLA NOW.
Ah! that's better.
AH! YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL THIGHS.
AH. THANK YOU.
AH. WELL, I'M AFRAID WE HAVE TO STOP THE FILM THERE
AHA! RATS AT 42A KARTOFFELNSTRASSE.
AIR CHIEF MARSHALL SIR VINCENT "KILL THE JAPS" FORSTER.
ALAN BULLOCK HAS TWO PIKES, BOTH CALLED NORMAN
ALARIC THE VISIGOTH, GAISERIC THE VANDAL
ALEX, JOAN, TED, SCOTT, WILF, JOHN
ALL ( aghast ): SILLY?!
ALL ( in unison ): MY GOODNESS ME!
ALL CLEAR.
ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT WITH THEIR NOISY LOVEMAKING
ALL I COULD DO WAS BANG MY LITTLE GAVEL.
ALL RIGHT IN THE END
All right then what about 8a Woodford Square?
ALL RIGHT THEN, A KICK IN THE KNEECAP.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
All right, all right, all right.
All right, all right.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, WE'RE PUTTIN' PLAN "A" INTO OPERATION.
ALL RIGHT, BREAK IT UP.
All right, but how am i going to get home?
ALL RIGHT, BUT KEEP THE RIO TINTO.
ALL RIGHT, DON'T ANYBODY MOVE.
All right, don't anybody move.
ALL RIGHT, EVERSLEY, GET UP OUT OF THAT TRENCH.
ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN, PRAY SILENCE
ALL RIGHT, GIRLS.
ALL RIGHT, I CONFESS. I DID IT.
All right, i seem to have wandered a bit
ALL RIGHT, I SLUMP IN MY CHAIR.
All right, I'll have a quick look at yer Thomas Hardy.
ALL RIGHT, I'M ONLY FIVE FOOT TEN.
ALL RIGHT, MEDWIN
ALL RIGHT, MY POSTURE IS BAD
ALL RIGHT, NOBODY MOVE.
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!
ALL RIGHT, THEN
ALL RIGHT, TWO, THREE, DAMN, DAMN, TWO, THREE
ALL RIGHT, WHAT CAT DETECTOR VAN?
All right.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. NAME?
ALL THAT SORT OF THING.
ALL THE OTHER SILVER TROPHIES ALSO GO IN MY SACK...
ALL THIS CHATTING AWAY WEARS ME OUT.
ALL WE BLOODY WANT
ALL: AMEN.
ALL: AMEN.
ALL: AMEN.
ALL: AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIA
ALL: HEAR, HEAR!
ALL: HEAR, HEAR!
ALL: OOH, GET HER! WHOOPS!
ALL: TONY!
ALL: YES, AFTER BREAKFAST.
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR.
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR.
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
Almost there.
ALREADY THERE HAVE BEEN MURDERS COMMITTED HERE AND HERE
Also i would like to point out that the balpa spokesman
Also, in the inverness pantomime last christmas
Although his name was quite clearly given as mcteagle
ALTHOUGH THE BATH CHRONICLE WAS LESS THAN ENTHUSIASTIC.
ALTHOUGH WE HERE IN THE STUDIO WILL BE CARRYING ON
Although, of course, when they are
AM I A TEENY BIT LATE?
AM ON THE 49 B TO BABBACOMBE."
AMONGST HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES, BUT WHAT WAS HE REALLY LIKE?
Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as
Amongst our weaponry...
Amongst our weapons...
Amuse your friends: CS gas canisters
AN ABSOLUTELY OUTSTANDING START SO FAR.
An artist's model, Swedish accordion teacher
AN ELECTRIC PENGUIN, 20 FEET HIGH
AN EX USED CAR SALESMAN AND PART TIME WINDOW BOX
AN INSTALLATION INVOICE.
AN M.I.
AN M.I.
AN UP AND COMING EAST END BOXER.
Anchorman: THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
AND "B," IT ISN'T GOING TO FIT INTO A TRAP.
AND "LARNGERIE"
AND "SARNDWICHES ON THE SETTEE."
AND 1,600 CUBIC U.S. FURLONGS OF WHITE PAINT
AND A COUPLE OF FILM PRODUCERS
AND A DAGGER UP THE STRAP.
AND A HAND PAINTED SCENE OF ARABIAN SPLENDOR
AND A HEALTHY CRY OF "WHO LIKES A SAILOR, THEN?"
AND A KICK ON THE HEAD.
AND A MAN THEY CALLED KIERKEGAARD
AND A PAIR OF EX GERMAN U BOAT COMMANDER'S BINOCULARS.
And a pot of yogurt, please.
AND A RADAR SCANNER.
AND A SERIES OF PHOTOGRAPHS WHICH COULD ADD UP TO DIVORCE
AND A SPECIAL FEE FOR A GUEST APPEARANCE
AND A TABLE LAMP FOR TWO COFFEES AND BISCUITS.
AND A TENDENCY TO WOBBLE UP AND DOWN IN THE MIDDLE
AND A TIGER'S BUM.
AND A WEEKEND FOR TWO WITH A SKINHEAD OF YOUR OWN CHOICE.
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS
And a&e television networks
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
And a&e television networks]
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
And A&E TELEVISION NETWORKS]
AND AGAIN A WEEK AFTER THAT.
And all other flammables, we have almost totally removed the risk of...
AND ALL SORTS OF RUBBISHY THINGS.
AND ALREADY THEY'RE NAUGHT FOR NAUGHT.
AND ALSO SOME FAIRLY UNINTERESTING ONES
AND ALSO THAT GOLDFISH DO NOT EAT SAUSAGES...
And an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms
And an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.
AND AN EXPERT IN EGYPTIAN TOMB PAINTINGS
AND ANTI BAD THINGS
AND ANYBODY WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE ME CAN LOOK ME UP IN THE BOOK.
AND APPARENTLY WALES IS NOT SWINGING AT ALL.
And are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort
AND AS SILLY AS THAT MAY SEEM
AND AT 10:30, WE'LL BE JOINING BBC 2 IN TIME FOR 10:33.
AND AT THE BACK, PLEASE KEEP YOUR HEADS RIGHT DOWN.
AND ATTACKS IT WITH AIR TO AIR MISSILES.
AND AUTHOR OF THE COMMUNISTMANIFESTO.
AND BANGING ITS HEAD ON THE TABLE.
AND BASHING TWO BRICKS TOGETHER.
AND BE AT BASINGSTOKE BY 1:00.
AND BEHIND...
AND BOWERS, PLAYED BY SEYMOUR FORTESCUE
AND BROOKY, TO WIT, MY FLAT MATE
AND BUTCHEST FIGHTING FORCES IN THE WORLD.
AND BY AN OLD RULE OF THE SCHOOL
AND CAMERAS AND TAPE RECORDERS
And cane chair sales lady,
AND CERTAINLY WOULDN'T SAY THAT I WAS STUCK IN A RUT...
AND CLAIM THAT HE'D LAID STANLEY BALDWIN.
AND CONNECT IT UP?
AND COULD WE HAVE THE NEXT CONTENDER, PLEASE?
AND CRELM TOOTHPASTE
AND CRY MANTHESUMS.
And Derby CounciL have got the baLL against the head.
AND DESTROYED HER.
AND DINSDALE SAID
AND DINSDALE'S THERE IN THE CONVERSATION PIT
AND DIRECTING, WE HAVE A VERY FINE
AND DISASSOCIATE OUR CHURCH
AND DISTRIBUTED AMONGST THE POOR.
And do some aptitude tests.
AND DON'T FORGET THE HERCULES HOLD 'EM IN
AND DON'T FORGET TOMORROW, WHEN IT'LL BE 9:20.
AND DREAMED HER LITTLE DREAMY DREAMS
AND ER... MARY WHITEHOUSE HAS JUST TAKEN UMBRAGE
AND ERIC, BEING SUCH A HAPPY CAT, WAS A PIECE OF CAKE.
AND EVEN MY TENNIS HAS SUFFERED, ACTUALLY...
AND FATHER OF MODERN COMMUNISM.
AND FILM PRODUCERS.
AND FINALLY, IN THE DISGUSTING OBJECTS INTERNATIONAL
AND FINALLY...
AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T LIKE TELEVISION
AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO PREFER DRAMA, THERE'S SPORT.
AND FOUND HIM A MOST CHARMING AND ERUDITE COMPANION.
AND FOUND... THEMSELVES.
AND FOURTH SENTENCES PERFECTLY NORMALLY.
AND FURTHER OUT TO SEA
And furthermore, given half a chance I'll put my fist through your teeth. F'tang. F'tang.
And get a flight back to luton from there.
AND GET GOING IN THE SECOND HALF.
AND GETS CAUGHT IN NETS?
And getting us both into a state of depressive neurosis.
AND GO BURROWING FOR TRUFFLES
AND GO OUT AND CATCH PARTRIDGES
AND GO OVER TO THE NEXT ITEM, OR DISH.
AND GOES BACK TO BED AGAIN BECAUSE IT'S FAR TOO EARLY.
AND GRIEVOUS BODILY HARM AT GRA Y'S INN.
AND HE AGREED AND JUST SCREWED MY PELVIS TO A CAKE STAND.
AND HE COMES UP, ALL NICE AND FRIENDLY LIKE
AND HE DON'T GO SHOUTING ABOUT IT, DO HE?!
AND HE FANCIED A BIT.
AND HE FIGHTS IT AND HE KILLS IT
AND HE NAILS MY HEAD TO THE FLOOR.
AND HE SEES THE LION
AND HE SPLITS ME NOSTRILS OPEN AND SAWS ME LEG OFF
AND HE'D BECOME VERY VIOLENT
AND HE'S BEEN MAKING A BIG NAME FOR HIMSELF
AND HE'S VERY UNHAPPY WITH YOUR CAMPAIGN.
AND HERE IS MY RESTAURANT CAR TICKET TO PROVE IT.
AND HERE IS THE NEIGHBOR WHO TOLD US WHERE THEY WERE.
AND HERE IS THE RESULT
AND HERE WITH THEIR VERY LATEST RECORDING:
AND HERE...
AND HIS NOSE WOULD SWELL UP
AND HIS TEETH WOULD START MOVING ABOUT
AND HIS TRAINER HAS TO RUN THE 49,000 MILES
AND HISAGENT, AND ON THE OTHER SIDE IS
AND HOPPING MAD.
AND HOW ABOUT THE SWANG?
And how do you find the defendant?
AND HOW TO HAVE FUN WITH A WHOLESALE POULTERER.
AND I AM VERY PROUD TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE FIRST RELIGION
AND I BELIEVE KIRK VILB IS PLAYING THE TITLE ROLE.
AND I CALL UPON YOU, PADRE
AND I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS TOO STRONGLY
AND I CHANGED MY PET SNAKE.
AND I CHANGED MY ROBIN DAY TIE.
AND I DECIDED...
AND I EAT PUNKS LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST.
AND I FEEL LIKE A LOVIN' YOU
AND I GOT A LICENCE FOR ME PET CAT ERIC.
AND I LOOKED OUT OF THE HOLE IN THE WALL
AND I MUST ADMIT, I'M LOST.
AND I NEVER ONCE REGRETTED BEING A NASTY, GREEDY, COLD HEARTED
AND I PLAYED MISS ALEXANDER FLEMING IN A FURROW.
AND I PLAYED MISS NAPOLEON BONAPARTE IN A TRENCH
AND I PLAYED MRS. JESUS CHRIST
AND I SAID, "MY NAME'S NOT CLEMENT."
AND I SAW THIS TANK DRIVE UP AND ONE OF DINSDALE'S BOYS GETS OUT
AND I SPOT ( snickers ) OUR NEXT ITEM.
AND I SUPPOSE AS HIS ELDEST SON
AND I THINK THE IMPORTANCE OF LOOKING AFTER POOR PEOPLE
AND I THINK WE CAN BE SURE IT WON'T BE AN ORDINARY ITEM
And I thought it best
AND I WAGGLED MY WIG.
And i want you to say
And i want you to tell me
AND I'D LIKE TO CHANGE, PLEASE.
And i'd like to make an application.
And i'd like to make an application.
And i'd like to make an appointment.
AND I'D LIKE TO OBTAIN A GOVERNMENT GRANT
AND I'D LIKE TO PRESENT THE FIRST PRIZE
AND I'D LIKE TO REMIND HIM
AND I'D LIKE TO SEE THE REINTRODUCTION OF FLOGGING.
And I'm as aLert and active as I've ever been.
AND I'M VERY PLEASED TO BE ABLE TO TELL YOU
And i've got an ego block
AND I'VE NEVER REGRETTED IT.
AND IF SHE COMES ROUND HERE AGAIN, I'LL KICK HER TEETH IN.
AND IF YOU DON'T MISS THE 10:15, YOU WON'T CATCH THE 3:45
AND IN LONDON...
AND INSTEAD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, UM...
AND INTIMIDATED BY HIS ABUSIVE AD LIBS."
AND IS ALSO IN CHARGE OF THE SHEEP DIP.
AND IT GOES TO FORBES MINOR... FORBES MINOR.
And it is for this reason that the Christian Church lays upon you, the godparents,
AND IT RIPS ASIDE THE HYPOCRITICAL FACADE
AND IT WASN'T GETTING THROUGH TO HIM ANYMORE.
AND IT'S BACK TO BASE CAMP FOR A NIGHT'S REST.
AND IT'S BOUND TO HAVE AN ENORMOUS IMPACT
AND IT'S HIT HIM ON THE PAD!
And it's the ALL BLacks to kick off.
And it's the Town CLerk's taken the baLL beautifuLly there.
AND IT'S THE WASH BASIN IN THE LEAD FROM W.C. PEDESTAL.
AND JUST FLIPPED.
AND JUST LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE.
AND JUST TWO LOVELY COFFEES, PLEASE.
AND KEEP YOUR BLOODY WATUTSI!
AND KEVIN PHILLIPS BONG, THE SLIGHTLY SILLY CANDIDATE.
AND LASTLY, JOANNA SOUTHCOTT'S BOX.
AND LEA VING THE POST OFFICE FOR THE START OF THE SECOND HALF.
AND LEAVES A LOT OF SACRED COWS ROLLING AROUND IN AGONY.
AND LISTS HER HOBBIES AS SWIMMING, RIDING
AND LOAD THEM UP WITH CUTLERY
AND LOCKS HIMSELF IN THE CUPBOARD.
AND LOVE IS LIKE PEACHES AND CREAM
AND LULU WILL BE TACKLING THE OLD MAN OF HOY.
AND MANCHESTER
AND MAO TSE TUNG
And may leave this court a free man.
And milton's "can you lend us two bob till tuesday?"
AND MISSED THAT BIT AROUND HORNCHURCH.
AND MONTHS OF PAINSTAKING RESEARCH
AND MONTY PYTHON HAS HELD THE CREDITS.
And more recently his prizewinning poem
AND MOSTATTRACTIVE
AND MR. LINDSAY ANDERSON'S FILM, IF
AND MRS. BETTY TEAL.
AND MURDER IS A VERY SERIOUS BUSINESS!
AND NEARLY TIME FOR SIX PAST NINE
AND NEXT, GENTLEMEN AND LADIES, HERE AT THE PEEPHOLE CLUB
AND NEXT, THE MEN OF THE SECOND ARMOURED DIVISION REGALE US
AND NO SHOT AT ALL.
AND NO SHOT AT ALL.
AND NOT A CHEAP CLIP JOINT FOR PICKING UP TARTS.
AND NOT AT ALL STUCK UP.
AND NOT AT ALL THE KIND OF PERSON
AND NOTHING ELSE, I'D LIKE TO EMPHASIZE THAT
AND NOW A BIT OF FUN.
AND NOW A LETTER, A HOTEL REGISTRATION BOOK
And now a sketch about a chemist
AND NOW BO WILDEBURG IS RUNNING UP TO BOWL TO COWDREY.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY
And now for something completely different.
And now for something completely different.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
And now for something completely different.
And now for something completely different.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT...
And now for something more completely different.
AND NOW FOR THE FIRST ITEM THIS EVENING ON THE MENU...
And now for the very first time on the silver screen
AND NOW IT'S BO WILDEBURG RUNNING IN AGAIN
AND NOW IT'S DOCUMENTARY TIME
AND NOW IT'S THE NORTH EAST'S TURN WITH THE SAMBA BRIAN?
AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR OUR "STOP THE FILM" SPOT.
AND NOW OVER TO ME.
AND NOW THE GREEN CHESTERFIELD HAS TAKEN GUARD
AND NOW THE MA YOR HAS REACHED
AND NOW THE MA YORAL HUMAN BEING
AND NOW THE WORLD OF SONG ANNE ZEIGLER AND WEBSTER BOOTH.
AND NOW THEALDERMAN ARE FINISHING THEIR ORANGES
AND NOW WE LEA VE LORDSAND GO OVER TO EPSOM FOR THE 3::00.
And now we present the first episode
AND NOW WHAT'S HAPPENING?
AND NOW WITHOUT ANY MORE ADO AND COMPLETELY AS NORMAL
AND NOW YOUR SECOND QUESTION
AND NOW, AT 90% PROTECTION, THE... WAIT!
AND NOW, GENTLEMEN AND LADIES, A VERY BIG WELCOME, PLEASE
AND NOW, GUTEN ABEND.
AND NOW, HERE IS CHIEF INSPECTOR JEAN PAUL ZATAPATHIQUE
AND NOW, IDIOTS.
And now, Radio 4 wiLL expLode.
AND NOW, THE TOAD ELEVATING MOMENT.
And now..
AND NOW...
And now...
And now...
AND NOW...
AND NOW...
AND NOWAN APPEAL FOR SANITY
AND NOWAN APPEAL FOR SANITY
AND NUMBER 27:: MORE NAUGHTY BITS.
AND NUMBER THREE:: THE OTHER FOOT.
And obviously, any assertion of authority on my part
AND OF COURSE, THE VERY LARGE SWING BACK TO THE SENSIBLE PARTY
AND OF COURSE, THERE'LL BE SPORT.
AND OF COURSE, THERE'LL BE SPORT.
AND OF COURSE, THERE'LL BE SPORT.
AND OF COURSE, THERE'LL BE SPORT.
AND OF COURSE, UM... HIMSELF HAD THE MOST MONUMENTAL IVORIES.
And on BBC 1 me telling you this.
AND ON BBC 1, ETHEL THE FROG.
AND ON MY LEFT, MISS PETULA WILCOX
AND ON MY RIGHT
AND ON MY RIGHT
AND ONCE WE'VE REMOVED THAT, HE'LL BE PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT.
AND ONE NIGHT DINSDALE WALKED IN
AND ONETIME CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART, MAUREEN SPENCER.
AND ONLY RATIONS FOR...
AND OTHER GANG LEADERS.
AND OUR FIRM COMPLETELY BANKRUPT.
AND OUR YOUNGEST, GHASTLY SPOTTY HORRIBLE VICIOUS LITTLE
AND OVER THERE ON THE OYSTER BEDS, FORMULA TWO CAR RACING.
AND OVER THERE ON THE OYSTER BEDS, FORMULA TWO CAR RACING.
AND PADRE HASN'T BEEN!
And pancho here doesn't have to move at all.
AND PARROTS STARTED TO ANNOUNCE TELEVISION PROGRAMS.
And past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives.
AND PERSISTENT CRIES OF 'WHAT'S ALL THIS, THEN?'"
AND PLASTIC MULE REST?
AND PULLS ME LIVER OUT.
And punished for the wrong one. Let us begin.
AND PUT A BOX IN VANILLA'S TRENCH.
AND PUT INTO A BROWN PAPER BAG IN THE LAVVY.
AND PUT IT ON A SPECIAL DELIVERY.
AND PUT WILCOX ON THE CANVAS BY SIX.
AND R. SPARROW OF LEICESTER
AND RAMSA Y MacDONALD BECOMES
AND RAY MILLICHOPE, LEADER OF THE ALLIED TECHNICIANS' UNION
AND RAY TO FIX IT UP.
AND REALLY CONSIDERATE TO HIS MOTHER
AND REG HARRIS, THE FORMER WORLD CYCLING SPRINT CHAMPION
AND REMEMBER, WITH ONLY EIGHT SCORING DRAWS
And revenue arrangements for the forthcoming annual budgetary period terminating in April.
AND RUBS GRAVEL INTO HIS HAIR.
And ruthless efficiency...
AND SAYS DINSDALE WANTS TO HAVE A TALK WITH ME.
And she has scored!
AND SHE IS NOW WATCHING THIS ROYAL SKETCH
AND SHE SMILED QUIETLY TO HERSELF.
AND SHE'S HAVING A DISEMBOWELING PARTY
AND SHOOT THEMSELVES. RAISE THEIR ARMS.
AND SHOOT THEMSELVES. RAISE THEIR ARMS.
AND SIR ROBERT WAS HAPPIER THAN I'D EVER SEEN HIM.
And snowy summits old in story...
AND SO DID THE GENTLEMAN
AND SO IT GOES IN MY SACK.
AND SO IT TAKES ME RATHER LONGER TO GET TO WORK.
AND SO ON
AND SO ON AND SO ON.
AND SO THE FIRST ITEM..
AND SO THE SILLY PARTY HAS TAKEN LUTON.
AND SO, ON FEBRUARY 22, 1966, AT LUTON AIRPORT...
AND SO, WITHOUT ANY MORE ADO
AND SO, YOU SEE, THE IDIOT DOES PROVIDE
AND SOME DUTY FREE BROCCOLI
AND SOMEWHERE OUT IN THIS BAY IS
AND SOON SET OUT TO SEEK ITS FORTUNE.
AND SOUTHALL MARKETING DIVISION
AND SPAM SELECTING A SPAM PARTICULAR SPAM ITEM
AND SPAM.
AND TAKES ME FOR A SC**** ROUND TO DINSDALE'S PLACE.
AND THAT FLOWER
AND THAT I HAD TO SEE DOUG.
AND THAT IT IS THE R.A.F WHO NOW SUFFER
AND THAT NICE POLICEMAN
AND THAT THE HUNT WAS ON.
AND THAT'S ALL FOR THIS WEEK, BUT TO CLOSE OUR PROGRAM
AND THAT'S DEFINITELY THE COOKER I ORDERED
AND THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME WITH OLD DINSY.
AND THAT'S JUST WHAT I'M GONNA DO
AND THAT'S NOT ALL!
AND THAT'S THE END OF THE OVER, AND DRINKS.
AND THAT'S WHY NINE OUT OF TEN
AND THE ACTIVITIES CARRIED OUT BENEATH.
And the aLarm cLock on the manteLpiece.
AND THE AMBIGUITY IS THE ONLY TRUTH
AND THE BEAUTIFUL LOUNGE SUITE WILL BE YOURS.
AND THE BLOOD CAN GO SPURTING...
AND THE BLOOD GOES PSSSSSHHH
AND THE BOYS AND GIRLS FROM TOMORROW'S WORLD
And the broad, clear highland skies reflected in tarn and loch
AND THE CHAIR AND AN ALL WOOL, EX ARMY SLEEPING BAG
AND THE CHAIR'S YOURS AND A FIVER
AND THE DEBATES.
AND THE EVER PRESENT THREAT OF PNEUMOCONIOSIS WHICH ISA...
AND THE FEEL OF ROUGH BLUE SERGE
AND THE FIRST QUESTION IS FOR YOU, KARL MARX.
AND THE GREAT CUSTOMER, MR. ERIC PRALINE
And the incremental statistics of the fiscal
And the is the Spanish Inquisition hiding behind the coal shed.
And the Lady Mayoress has got to go through!
AND THE LATE GREAT MARCEL PROUST HAD AN 'ADDOCK!
AND THE LATEST ONE RIGHT HERE.
AND THE LEFT LEG MERELY DOES A FORWARD AERIAL HALF TURN
AND THE LEVEL CROSSING AN ELECTRIC ELK CALLED SIMON.
And the Mayor has got the baLL again.
AND THE OTHER ACTOR ISABOUT TO DELIVER
AND THE OTHER HALF GREEN
And the PM wants more LSD from the PIB by tomorrow AM or PM at the latest.
AND THE PRIZE THIS WEEK IS A BEAUTIFUL LOUNGE SUITE.
AND THE PROBLEMS OF BRITAIN'S INDUSTRIAL REORGANIZATION.
AND THE RECTUMS FROM SWANAGE.
AND THE SHOP WHERE YOU BOUGHT THE EQUIPMENT.
AND THE SHOP WHERE YOU BOUGHT THE EQUIPMENT.
AND THE SILLY PARTY HAVE HELD LEICESTER.
And the smoke signals version of gentlemen prefer blondes
AND THE STANDARD LAMP IS FADING FAST
AND THE THIRTY BLOODY YEARS' WAR?
AND THE TWO PENS IN YOUR BREAST POCKET
AND THE VARIOUS ORGANIZATIONS AFFILIATED
And the very fact that the plane
AND THE WATFORD LONG JOHN SILVER IMPERSONATORS.
AND THE WEST MIDLANDS
AND THE WORD "CAT" WRITTEN IN IN CRAYON.
AND THEIR EFFECT ON OUR COMMONWEALTH RELATIONSHIPS.
AND THEIR SUBSEQUENT TRACKING DOWN AND CAPTURE
AND THEN HE LOSES HIS TEMPER
AND THEN IN A KIND OF SILLY HIGH PITCHED WHINE.
AND THEN IN THE TWILIGHT OF THIS LIFE
And then placed his robes over his head and began to emit low moans.
AND THEN ROY COMES ALONG IN THE LOCKHEED STAR FIGHTER
AND THEN TWO HOURS SLEEPING, OKAY?
AND THEN WE'LL HAVE A ROTA.
AND THEN WE'LL MAKE A STOCK OF THE CAPTAIN, AND AFTER THAT
AND THEN YOU CAN GO, "NEURH, NEURH, NEURH!"
AND THEN YOU CAN JUMP UP AND DOWN IN A BOWL OF TREACLE
AND THEN YOU CAN PAINT HALF OF YOUR BODY RED
AND THEN YOU CAN ROLL AROUND ON THE FLOOR
AND THEN YOU'RE POLITE TO ME ALTERNATELY.
AND THEN, OF COURSE, THERE WAS THAT CRIPPLING DEFEAT
AND THEODORIC THE OSTROGOTH IN TURN SWEPT WESTWARD
AND THERE IS THE "GOING SPARAL" LOOK ON THE FRONT OF HIS HEAD.
AND THERE WASN'T A GRUMBLE.
AND THERE WERE SEVERAL VOTES ON THE COMMITTEE
AND THERE'S FRESH ECCLES CAKES.
AND THERE'S HIS MATE, BRUCE BEER.
AND THEREARE THEALDERMEN
AND THEY HAD BOLTED AND BARRED THE HOUSE
AND THEY LOVED IT.
AND THEY'D BE ABLE TO CONNECT IT UP?
AND THEY'D COME ROUND THIS AFTERNOON?
AND THEY'RE GOING TO MAKE A HUMAN PYRAMID.
AND THIS BLACK CARD
AND THIS FOLLOWED YOUR SECOND CAMPAIGN
AND THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME;
AND THIS IS HIS WIFE
AND THIS IS THE ROLE THAT...
And this is Uncle Ted at the side of the house.
And this is Uncle Ted even nearer the side of the house,
AND THIS IS WHERE HE LIVED.
AND THIS IS WHERE LORD LANGDON LIVED
AND THIS WEEK THEY'RE VISITING AN IRON FOUNDRYAT SWINDON
AND THIS WEEK WE'RE GOING TO LEARN HOW TO FEED A GOLDFISH.
AND THREATENED NOT TO BEAT HIM UP IF HE DIDN'T PAY THEM.
AND THREE YEARS LATER HE DIED OF...
And time for the penguin on top of your teLevision set
AND TO START TONIGHT'S PROGRAM
AND TONIGHT, THE INVASION OF NORMANDY, PERFORMED
AND TONIGHT'S STAR PRIZE:
AND TRIPPED AND WENT, "OOPS."
AND UNPLEASANT DETAILS WHICH COULD WRECK A MAN'S CAREER.
And use the space for playing fields.
AND USED TERROR TO TAKE OVER NIGHTCLUBS, BILLIARD HALLS
AND VANILLA GET UP OUT OF THE TRENCH?
AND VOILA A MEAL FIT FOR A...
AND WAITED FOR THE STRONG NORTHEASTERLY WINDS
AND WATCH SPECIAL PERFORMANCES OF RITUAL IDIOTTING.
AND WATCHED BY THE LADY MA YORESS
AND WE CAN START OFF WITH THE AVOCADOS.
AND WE CAN'T UPSET THE LOVELY SNOWDON, CAN WE?
AND WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHEN HER MAJESTY WILL BE TUNING IN.
AND WE END THE SHOW WITH MUSIC
AND WE'D SHAKE HANDS, AND THEN HE'D NAIL MY HEAD TO THE FLOOR.
AND WE'LL FINISH OFF WITH THE PEACHES.
And we're all moving our lips
AND WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE HEART TO HEART
AND WHAT ABOUT CHINA?
AND WHAT WAS THE HARM IN A SAUNA BATH.
AND WHAT'S MORE, HE KNEW HOW TO TREAT A FEMALE IMPERSONATOR.
AND WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
AND WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
AND WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR ME TO GIVE MY OTHER ARM, I...
AND WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?
AND WHICH PRIZE DO YOU HAVE
AND WHILE THAT'S GOING ON, HERE IS THE NEWS FOR GIBBONS.
AND WHO DOESN'T NOW AND AGAIN
AND WHO MUST BE WELL OVER SIX FOOT.
AND WHOSE PEACOCKS KEEP US AWAKE
AND WHOSE VERY FECES ARE AN UNTRAMMELED DELIGHT
And Wilson kicks off
AND WITH CASES LIKE HE'S WON
AND WITH EVERY THIRD BOOK, YOU GET DUNG.
And work out the most complicated
AND WOULD I PAY FOR IT.
AND YOU CAN LIGHT
AND YOU CAN STAB IT IN THE WINGS
AND YOU DON'T BEAR HIM ANY GRUDGE?
AND YOU DON'T STAND IN THE TRENCH.
And you shall be free...
And you should be hearing from them in a year or two.
AND YOU WOULDN'T CALL SIR GERALD A LOONY, WOULD YOU?
And your bleeding masonic handshakes!
AND YOUR HUSBAND TREVOR
AND YOUR LOVE IS LIKE PEACHES AND CREAM
AND YOUR LOVELY CHILDREN, DIANE, JANICE AND JULIET
AND YOUR NAME IS?
AND YOUR OWN HOOTER'S A BEAUT.