Fuller House - Season 1 Edit

A onesie fit for a king.

A puppy will poop and pee all over the house,

About your boy cave,

According to every online personality quiz I've ever taken,

Action Jackson! Hello! Oh. Here, boys.

Actually, I'll be right over there. I love those.

Actually, it's worth it not to have to eat that lasagna.

Actually, those are Channing Tatum's butt cheeks.

Adios, Papa.

Adios.

After D.J. told me to.

After Dad leaves, this D.J. Tanner is booked solid, too.

After you've done your time, we'll go visit your old friends

Ah, like here. Heartworm medication.

Ah, nice! Now we're talking!

Ah, there's my favorite little brother.

Ah! And look at this, my party timing's back!

Ah! Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry!

All right, Jesse has left the building.

All right.

All right. Here we go.

All seamen lost.

All to move in with the whitest family in America?

All while Team D.J. was being fabulous and flawless.

Alright, blow that horn, cat.

Alright, come on in

Alright, fine. I made it up.

Alright, girls, we've decided to have mercy.

Alright, Jesse. Let's keep this party going!

Alright, now go pick out your puppy and give your mommy a kiss.

Alright, that'll be $18.50.

Alright, well, I'd better go because these Otter Pops are starting to melt.

Alright, you guys go to the party. I've got this.

Alright.

Alright. Love you.

And a bear claw, a non fat, no whip skinny latte?

And a guy with a woodchuck puppet.

And a love letter from a guy in San Quentin.

And all of it's my fault

And as far as your room goes, I get it

And as you know, I happen to own several pairs of enormous clown shoes.

And by the way, this finger... it's 90% of parenting.

And coconut shrimp and mixed nuts and free ice.

And don't forget Tommy gets his bottle at six.

And feel what it was like to have a family of your own...

And flawless.

And for the first time, we're going to be all on our own.

And have you seen the city view?

And housekeeper, just stay out of the liquor cabinet

And hug it out.

And I am a Kimmy Gibbler aholic.

And I can commute to Vegas in my Bonanza and move right back into the basement.

And I don't like to brag, but I'm kicking Carrot Top's butt.

And I just don't know how they're going to react.

And I just keep feeding it to the dog

And I just shot a duck.

And I really got to know your kids,

And I wasn't really thinking about starting a family then anyway.

And I would love to, but I can't. It's Mommy and Me Face Painting Day.

And I'll be taking those right back.

And I'm not going to take that job.

And I'm out of school for the next three days!

And if Danny's not doing the show, then neither am I, so I can help, too.

And if for any reason the winner cannot perform his doggie duties,

And in some odd, sick, twisted way, I may actually Gibbler miss you.

And leaving her home and changing schools.

And lucky for you, I drop a lot of food at the dinner table.

And now I bestow it upon you.

And now I'm looking up.

And now you're here for me.

And now, it's time to force Jesse to sing the song that we love and he hates.

And right before his toilet funeral.

And right now, let's make it a hit in our living room.

And she used duck eggs for more nutrition and a deeper flavor profile.

And she used duck eggs for more nutrition and a deeper flavor profile.

And she'll be happier with a parent who sets rules and limits and boundaries.

And so is Mr. Woodchuck.

And that's my yearbook photo... with big photo shopped knockers.

And the only way to get out was by climbing up on the curtains, remember?

And the stains are impossible to get out...

And the tree is made of...

And the two of you are moving across the hall into the...

And then he gave my bedroom to Uncle Jesse.

And then he gives me that look

And then I forgot my whole speech.

And then I have to go open the pet clinic.

And then when she did leave, she rode away on the pony ride pony.

And third...

And this is Tommy, the baby that I carried in my stomach for... what is it?

And vaulting up to the flusher.

And we appreciate everything that you do. We love you.

And we really appreciate it, don't we, boys?

And we're not allowed to watch Game of Thrones.

And when I say "toilet," I mean the toilet.

And while you wait for your favorite pancakes,

And you already have 32 pokes, 24 winks

And you and D.J. were go go dancing on top of amplifiers,

And you are the lonely neurosurgeon, huh?

And you can start making your own bed, too.

And you could have your own bedroom downstairs?

And you in some horrible pizza restaurant infested with guitar playing rodents?

And you need me.

And, big surprise, there's nothing up there.

And, Dad, I ran out of jobs, so do whatever you want!

Anticlimactic.

Anything for you, Mighty Max.

Anyway, D.J. was furious so she moved down to the garage. Of course, she got caught.

Are you alright?

Are you kidding? I could have sworn there was a duck hiding in this room.

Are you nuts?

Are you sure?

Are you sure? You know how much this house is worth now?

As I predicted,

As if today weren't crazy enough, my boss just called.

At age ten, her credit score was really low.

Au pair, have them brush their teeth before bed

Aunt Becky, you can give him back now.

Aunt Stephy!

Aw, he is still pretty adorable.

Aw, honey. I've loved having you here.

Aw, look at that face!

Aw, look at this. Happy baby.

Aw, this breaks my heart.

Aw, wow. Thank you. That is so sweet.

Aw, you're lucky you're so cute!

Aw!

Aw... Look at those chubby cheeks!

Awesome!

Awesome! Give me a hug, roomie!

Because D.J. realized how lucky she was to live with me.

Because I don't know how to tell her how disgusting it is.

Because I don't know how to tell her how disgusting it is.

Because I'm the new music composer on my favorite soap opera, General Hospital.

Because it was never in style.

Because Ramona is getting rewarded for ditching school!

Because there's already a DJ Stephanie.

Because your bad parenting is undermining my good parenting.

Beck, you know that ship has sailed.

Becky, could you please pass the wa'er.

Before I introduce you two, I noticed on your profile, you said you weighed 200.

Before we eat, I have something very important to say, okay?

Birthing can be messy.

Blow his head up.

Blow my head up

Boy, I wish I had your amazing parenting skills.

But as I recall, you're the one that got married first.

But as much as I'm helping D.J.,

But as you're fleeing for your lives,

But basically I'm just climbing out the window?

But D.J., you didn't care.

But don't use their toothbrush. We're not animals.

But extremely effective.

But first, Jesse has to pee.

But he's Comet Junior Junior Junior.

But here we are now, right? Both single.

But his cholesterol's a little high.

But I can't punish her now.

But I never dropped acid.

But I think Jackson and Max are going to love living together.

But I want you to know that when you're ready, I'll be right here.

But I've got to admit it is a little weird.

But if I'm in the truck, you can use the carpool lane.

But if you're so desperate to have your room back,

But in this room, you are in charge of Tommy.

But it all turned out fine

But it sounds like everything went perfectly fine today.

But it's perfect for you.

But lucky for you,

But maybe a little less.

But Mom made her famous blueberry pancakes.

But Mom said living together would bring us closer.

But no one has the skills of this enchantress.

But she likes me so much more when I do.

But she will be happy

But she's busy in New York running her fashion empire.

But then I moved in here

But these kids, they've really snuck into my heart.

But this is my super magic scarf.

But this place is like Alcatraz.

But until we hit it big, we're moving back in with you guys!

But we got really close sharing that room.

But we'll be fine.

But what if she gets mad at me?

But when I lived there it was wall to wall with girly pink bunnies.

But you have a house full of people who love you.

But you lost.

But you need me right now.

But you should know that my kids are your kids.

But you'd better keep it safe till I need it. Thanks, Aunt Stephanie.

By the way, this is a great time

Bye bye.

Bye!

Can anyone explain what this kid's talking about?

Can I keep one? Mom said I could get a dog.

Can somebody get the door? I'm trying to feed Tommy!

Can you believe it, Mom? I actually made some friends.

Can you watch Tommy today?

Can't a mom make her beautiful firstborn son a pre breakfast milkshake?

Careful, careful. Careful.

Carpool... me, laundry... me, groceries... me, Mommy and me... me.

Chicken.

Chicks.

Come here, sister wife.

Come on, bring it in.

Come on, Dad. You don't wanna miss your plane.

Come on, everybody give it up for Max!

Come on, everybody give it up for Max!

Come on, everybody. You're going to miss your plane. Taxi's here.

Come on, Jackson.

Come on, Mom. How bad can it be?

Come on, Mom. Let's go home

Come on, Mom. You promised. Jackson, you were there.

Come on!

Come on. Bring it in.

Come with me to Coachella.

Comet Junior Junior's having babies? This is better than Shark Week!

Comet's out of the woods. And the first puppy's a boy.

Congratulations, D.J.

Consider this... in my room, I'm in charge of you,

Cosmo T.D. Fuller.

D.J. really needs us and you love her. She's your godmother.

D.J., can you deliver the puppies outside? I'm showing the house on Wednesday.

D.J., Comet Junior Junior needs your help.

D.J., the plumber's here.

D.J.'s helping me

Dad, be nice. Kimmy's helping me throw your going away party.

Dad, remember, you're taking the boys to school.

Dad, we never could have gotten through the past year without your help.

Dad, you're hilarious.

Damn, we all still look good!

Darling, the name is irrelevant.

Darn, booger, and Donald Trump.

Deal.

Dear God, you're living with gypsies.

Deej, I am so sorry.

Deej, I know you're not ready to start something new,

Deej, Ramona is not going be happy about changing schools and leaving her friends,

Deej, what's going on? I'm kinda busy. Is everything okay?

Deej, you've been there for me my whole life.

Diaper changing is simple. Just remove, refresh and replace.

Did he now?

Did I miss anyone?

Did you ever get that mole checked out?

Didn't I say no video games?

DJ Tanner, yeah, you rock!

DJ Tanner!

DJ Unbreakable... broke?

Do I have to go to this new school?

Do you get the lesson here?

Do you like these carrots or not?

Do you really want me to change schools and be the outcast loner kid,

Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember my first day?

Don't blame D.J. It was my decision to punish you.

Don't come in here. I'm wrapping a present for you.

Don't feel bad. I know you do your best.

Don't fight it. It's your destiny to spend your life with me.

Don't worry about it. You're not gonna quack under the pressure.

Don't worry, Deej. I'll get it.

Don't worry, Tommy. Joey's here.

Don't you ever want to have some kids and settle down?

Dr. Fuller, I'm sorry, but I have to go take my dog to the vet.

Drinking milk

Drop it, Jackson.

Easy, Mrs. Tanner.

Eating sundaes and pizza all night.

Eh..

Eighty grand, so they can do this.

Emoji guy loved your barnyard samples. Apparently, he grew up on a farm!

Enjoy a pre breakfast milkshake.

Enjoy your breakfast bottle, the most important bottle of the day.

Especially me.

Even a nationally syndicated one.

Ever since I solved your whole bedroom fiasco.

Everybody knows you can't transfer magic over WiFi.

Everybody, help out here.

Everybody, sing!

Everyone is going to be gone.

Everyone, this is my daughter Ramona.

Except for skunks!

Except you forgot where everyone lines up during a fire drill.

Excuse me. I found some blue and white paint.

Extra strong Febreeze,

Fabulous.

Fernando, give up.

Fernando, this is a going away party. So please, go away.

First I go to Ibiza and then Singapore and then Cleveland.

First tip of diaper changing, never breathe through your nose.

First, you'll need a baby.

For Gibbler Style party planning.

For now.

For reasons I'll never understand.

For you and for you.

For you, that might be when I said, "Go back to your earliest memory."

Frothy cocktail?

Get it? 'Cause he's bacon.

Get started? I guess so.

Gibbler Style, party planning perfection.

Girls, what's going on in here?

Go back to your earliest memory.

Go knock 'em dead, Max.

Gone horribly wrong.

Good morning, class.

Good morning, sister wife.

Good morning!

Good morning!

Good news, Kimmy's coming to get you

Good room.

Good. At least you have a plan.

Good. I love you guys.

Good. I'll just feed it to Joey.

Goodbye, Fernando

Google said tomato soup would get the smell out. Are you mad?

Gosh, I'm just really sad that I missed your first recital.

Gosh. And now here we are again.

Gotta love it!

Great escape plan, Jackson.

Great news. Grandpa's letting us stay here and Aunt Stephanie is moving in!

Great, another cake!

Great. Let's get upstairs.

Guys, please, sit down. We're having a little talk.

Hank lives on the water in Sausalito, in a cute little...

Have a seat right at the head of the table

Have fun getting that phone back.

He fractured his arm.

He makes me look at the ceiling, but there's nothing there.

He wants a date in three to five years.

He'd want me to be strong

He's a Navy SEAL and he writes those romance books you buy at the supermarket.

He's also an investment banker slash UFC Heavyweight Champion.

He's flying us all to Lake Como. It's Clooney's birthday. Let's get on that jet!

He's not just a plumber.

He's right here.

He's the guy that invented the emoji that looks like this...

He's trying to make me look again. I am not looking up.

He's using you.

Hello, puppies. I'm Max.

Hello!

Hello?

Hello? Steph...

Hello? What?

Hello.

Here comes the tricky part. Watch out for the fire hose!

Here comes this girl I kinda like. You should say hi to her.

Here I am.

Here they are, still in college after six years, Nicky and Alex Katsopolis!

Here, have a crab leg. There.

Here, Tommy.

Here.

Here's a list of chores you'll be doing while you're suspended.

Here's a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Hey, Babe, I just want to tell you...

Hey, Deej,

Hey, Deej, are you okay?

Hey, Deej.

Hey, guys. I gotta grab Tommy and run.

Hey, hey, my eyes are up here. Yes.

Hey, Jackson, get in here!

Hey, Jess

Hey, kids, come in here!

Hey, let's not quibble over whose runaway was better, okay?

Hey, Lola.

Hey, Max, here's a crazy question.

Hey, now.

Hey, Steph, you alright?

Hey, Tanners, Fullers, Gibblers, Gladstone, Rippers, Katsopoli. Hi

Hey, that cake was for the boys.

Hey, Tommy.

Hey, Tommy. Let's show your gramps the gift your Uncle J got you...

Hey, Tommy's not feeling well.

Hey, we had some plumbing problems today. Know anything about that?

Hey, whatever it is, you can tell me.

Hey, you guys really dressed up. T shirts with no holes.

Hey!

Hey! Did you know there's a limo outside with champagne?

Hey! What are you doing back so soon?

Hey. Aren't you driving down to LA with your stuff?

Hey... I had a good time tonight.

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Ramona!

Hi, Ramona. What's up?

Hi, Tommy.

Hi!

Hi! Tommy, what's up, kid? How's it hanging?

Hi! Tommy, what's up, kid? How's it hanging?

Hi. I brought you your coffee, muffin and bear claw.

Hi. You must be Dr. Fuller?

Hit the lights on your way out!

Hm? Oh.

Hola, Mr. T.

Hola, shalom, howdy do and welcome to Ramona's World,

Hola, shalom, howdy do and welcome to Ramona's World,

Hola, Tanneritos!

Hold on! Hold on!

Hold on. You passed up Italy?

Holy chalupas!

Holy chalupas! They're adorable!

Home, sweet home.

Houseboat.

How about if I take you to your old school and you can say hi to your old friends?

How are you holding up?

How could you make a joke?

How dare you!

How did I do?

How did this happen?

How did you know that?

How is Las Vegas treating you?

How rude!

How was coffee with the plumber?

How would you even know that?

Hugs!

Huh?

Huh... Boom! Drop the mic

Hypnosis isn't real.

I admit, it does not look good, but my goose is not officially cooked.

I am clearing my schedule and moving in with my sister.

I am not going in there.

I am trying to worm my way into your heart.

I am walking, house training and cleaning up after Max's dog.

I am?

I baked your favorite... chocolate cake.

I came to rescue you. I saw your Facebook page.

I can babysit whenever you want.

I can be in and out in 15 minutes.

I can feel your enthusiasm.

I can just go hide in my room.

I can make that happen. I'll bust you right out of here.

I can never figure out how to do that.

I can never thank you guys enough for all the sacrifices you made for my family.

I can transfer the magical powers of the super magic scarf through this phone.

I can't afford your prices

I can't believe I'm going to say this,

I can't believe I'm hearing this.

I can't believe I'm saying it,

I can't believe you're leaving already.

I can't decide. I need volunteers to drop out.

I can't have children.

I can't help it. I'm turning into Dad.

I changed Michelle on a meat rack,

I changed so many of Michelle's diapers, I feel like there were two of her.

I couldn't be prouder.

I definitely don't wanna miss Tommy's first words: "I love you, Aunt Stephanie."

I did a killer set and I got a standing ovation.

I did take an antacid once. I must be having an antacid flashback.

I didn't leave you. I forgot you.

I didn't work there. I just like picking up guys.

I didn't? I know I told somebody.

I do love to have my belly scratched.

I don't know if I want to do anything Gibbler Style.

I don't know, I got on the plane and everybody was drunk and stupid.

I don't know, I got on the plane and everybody was drunk and stupid.

I don't need conversation. I just need a man to get to work on my pipes

I don't wanna fight in front of the kids, but I do wanna fight.

I don't want to be a person who wags her finger while saying "first things first",

I feel like this is my house, too. I was here more than my own home.

I found one of my missing shirts from 1989.

I gave you, like, 1,000 uncle talks, except you forgot two important words.

I get it.

I get it.

I got an idea from when I was a kid

I got her up. Aunt Stephanie is not a morning person.

I gotta get out of here.

I had a text from Jackson earlier that had me a little concerned,

I had Ramona in a rental car and lost my deposit.

I had to make a speech in front of the whole entire school.

I have Max's recital and now I have Tommy. Kimmy, can you watch the baby?

I haven't used my passport in ten years, and that was just to renew my passport.

I help take care of the kids, I do a little light housekeeping,

I hope you learned your lesson.

I hope you're leaving.

I hopped on up on them, and I was like...

I just don't know if I can deal with all of this.

I just got mad.

I just got to thinking about everything I'd be missing here.

I just helped Iggy Azalea find her contact lens.

I just hope I can give you the beautiful life you deserve.

I just needed something to do while waiting for my punishment.

I just want Ramona to be happy.

I just want you all to know I love you so much.

I knew there would be a hug.

I know how to handle this.

I know I look like I got it going on, but deep down, I'm a wreck.

I know I shouldn't have left like that.

I know that look. I feel sorry for Team D.J.

I know these might look like lunch, but this Dairy Queen is closed, okay?

I know these three.

I know this is just tough...

I know, but I feel so guilty about making her change schools.

I know!

I know.

I know.

I know. I am booked solid for the next few months.

I left it here so I wouldn't forget it, but forgot.

I look forward to working with you. Maybe I'll let you scratch my belly.

I lost half my money and half my hair.

I lost my phone in your baby's diaper and I butt answered your call.

I love this kid.

I love to travel, no strings, no responsibilities.

I love when you talk clean to me.

I love you, but you need rules and lemons and boundaries.

I love...

I made it all the way to Fresno.

I mean, diaper changes, baby baths.

I mean, first dad dies, then we all have to move in here.

I mean, I went on my honeymoon.

I mean, I... worked on all night.

I mean, you're an amazing mom, just like you're an amazing big sister.

I missed Max's first recital and Jackson's gonna start dating soon.

I moved in here when I was five.

I need my super magic scarf, but Aunt Stephanie took it.

I need to get to my son's recital, so how long is this gonna take?

I put that rope across the room to keep you out of my half.

I put your dating profile online a half hour ago

I really don't wanna talk about it.

I resent that.

I said "doggie duties!"

I said someday, honey. Not today. I have too much on my plate right now.

I salute your patriotism, but you're still punished.

I score between "likeable" and "very likeable".

I spilled the beans.

I still haven't told the boys Kimmy and Ramona are moving in today.

I suggested we do his party as soon as possible.

I think Becky was always a little jealous of me.

I think I have some drops in the kitchen.

I think we can all agree that both of you being punished is fair.

I think you look great.

I think you're gonna break a record tonight and sleep five hours in a row.

I thought moving in with this squirt was going to ruin my life.

I told you, I'm not interested in online dating.

I used to guess people's weight at the carnival.

I used to live in a house full of guys.

I wanna hang out with my real friends at my real school.

I want a sister wife divorce.

I want my room back.

I want my room the same colors as the flag of my people.

I was in England and you had just lost your husband.

I was keeping this a secret in case you absolutely needed it.

I was never allowed up here before.

I was ten when I first started riding a Harley.

I was the kid no one wanted to hang out with,

I will love you forever.

I wish I was going with you. Coachella...

I wish you'd spend time with your nephews. They adore you.

I would never take my dog to a discount veterinarian!

I wouldn't say it's great news

I wouldn't say terrible.

I wouldn't say wonderful.

I wound up living back in my old bedroom.

I... I feel like I should give you something.

I'd love to chat, but it's puppy time.

I'd love to take care of the baby. Jess, can we please have another baby?

I'll be right down.

I'll be right there.

I'll bring my feather duster.

I'll go live in the hobbit hole.

I'll never sing "Forever" as long as I live

I'll see you in school in three days

I'll time you.

I'll try, but just so you know, I'm very skeptical.

I'm 55 ish and these happen to be brand new.

I'm a naughty plumber...

I'm a neurosurgeon who's also a Victoria's Secret model?

I'm about to freak out!

I'm an event planner now.

I'm bad to the bone.

I'm canceling spa day tomorrow.

I'm Darren.

I'm exhausted. I was up all night erupting my volcano

I'm fake texting, so I don't look like a loser

I'm fine.

I'm going to be a doggy daddy!

I'm going to have to rent a bigger house.

I'm going to let Team D.J. work this out

I'm gonna give her a little dessert.

I'm gonna pick out one of Comet Junior Junior's new puppies.

I'm having palpitations!

I'm here for you, Bro.

I'm imagining it, okay?

I'm in. But I was never out.

I'm into oceanography, watermelon Jolly Ranchers,

I'm just giving my little brother a chance to set the world record in trash takeout.

I'm just the victim with the private bedroom.

I'm kinda busy.

I'm listening.

I'm making the boys a healthy lunch. Want me to make Ramona a turkey wrap?

I'm moving in with Jackson!

I'm moving in with Jackson! It's moving day!

I'm moving to LA

I'm new at this single parent thing.

I'm not a chew toy!

I'm not ashamed to admit...

I'm not leaving you in the lurch, am I?

I'm not sure bribing your kid is the best approach to parenting.

I'm not thrilled with you, but...

I'm okay.

I'm perfectly capable...

I'm serious.

I'm so lonely there.

I'm so nervous.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so worried, I can't eat. This has never happened before.

I'm sorry, but I'm having a tough day, too.

I'm sorry, do I know you?

I'm starting to think this guitar is not so lucky.

I'm staying here to help you.

I'm sure she's gonna be just as nervous

I'm sure there are no inappropriate references to drugs, sex, or violence

I'm triple parked and I got a tub of mayonnaise,

I'm working at Harmon Pet Care around the corner

I'm... I'm so in!

I've been putting up with you for 25 years.

I've been there five whole days and I haven't made a single friend.

I've been told I'm very bright for my age.

I've been waiting 20 years to hug the king of all huggers.

I've brought you the hottest dance hits from the clubs of London.

I've got a bride and groom whose dog swallowed their wedding ring.

I've got a meeting, but Ramona can watch him.

I've got a special guest coming live from Harvey Milk Elementary,

I've got my music, I love to sing,

I've got some bad news.

I've got the answer... just never go to sleep.

I've got the fix. You and Max, go hug it out.

I've got two seats on some dude's private jet.

I've never met a neurosurgeon slash Victoria's Secret Angel.

I've waited my whole life to say this...

I've wanted to be The Man ever since I was The Baby.

If anybody wants out, raise your paw now.

If she wanted her own room, she should have run away, rented an apartment.

If they're holding you here against your will, blink three times.

If this is another bribe about Kimmy and Ramona moving in, I'm cool.

If we're really being fair,

If you girls are into plumbers, check me out on plumbersmingle.com.

Imagine the thrill of sharing a room with your adorable nephew, Max.

In a bare knuckle fight, Elvis destroys Bullwinkle every time. He knows karate.

In a snowstorm,

In fact, it sunk.

In fact, it sunk.

In fact, it's so big,

In his pants.

In the spirit of honesty, um...

Instead, you're gonna help Jackson with his chores.

Is it just me or do you hear violins?

Is it one, two, and then we say "Team D.J." on three?

Is that for the birthday party you're planning?

Is that okay?

Is that true, Jackson?

Is this about losing your bedroom?

Is this little guy yours, too?

Isn't Becky waiting for you down there?

Isn't she adorable? But my name's first.

Isn't this crazy?

It could make or break second grade.

It depends. How do you feel about moms with two kids?

It is going off in the VIP bathroom.

It makes me want to just kick off my shoes and put my feet up.

It might have been a goose.

It sounds boring. To me.

It was a hit in Japan in 1992

It was an accident! I was practicing chemical reactions, like you taught us!

It was awesome.

It was still recording.

It was still recording.

It will be so much fun

It's a classic symbiotic relationship.

It's a family, you know, where you wind up five times a day in a group hug.

It's a waste of time.

It's all me.

It's in Hawaii, which is where my mom...

It's just, everyone's leaving...

It's like cauliflower filled with jellybeans.

It's like having another baby, except this one doesn't wear diapers!

It's Max. Remember me?

It's moving day!

It's my first day and I blew it.

It's never going to work.

It's not a cult.

It's okay, it's okay.

It's okay, Tommy. Mommy's here.

It's Puppy Day! It's Puppy Day!

It's so fun having you guys crashing here this weekend,

It's the circle of life.

It's time for Sunday brunch!

It's time to take it back to the late '80s when this party got started!

It's waa ter.

It's worse than the time you left me at the ball pit in McDonald's.

Jackson implanted a tiny explosive in my brain...

Jackson set off the fire alarm at school. He's been suspended.

Jackson told me to.

Jackson, go talk to Ramona.

Jackson, perfect timing.

Jackson, tell Team D.J. where you've been.

Jackson, what were you thinking?

Jackson, when I was five, my dad forced me to move in with D.J

Jackson! Your room is under attack! This is not a drill!

Jackson?

Jackson's upset and I don't blame him

Janet, I would give you an employee discount

Jax.

Jaxito, moving here was my mom's idea, not mine. So we're both victims.

Jellybean filled cauliflower my butt!

Joey's 60 years old and still wearing the same Bugs Bunny pajamas.

Joke's on her. I had my feet in that ice.

Just because I don't have a boyfriend or a job or any money doesn't mean that I...

Just catch up.

Just give me a sign. A hint.

Just hiding in not so great news.

Just in time!

Just say hi.

Just so I know, when will you be home?

Just so you know, if any of my clothes turn out to be magic, they're all yours.

Just so you know, we don't have a swimming pool,

Just tell me the truth. Is he coming?

Kids, Mommy says homework and to bed.

Kimberlina, mi amor.

Kimmy and Ramona are here to help us out.

Kimmy Gibbler knows things.

Kimmy Gibbler?

Kimmy let me in. I'm Tyler. You're D.J., right?

Kimmy, can you go warm up a bottle, please?

Kimmy, can you please put Tommy in his crib upstairs?

Kimmy, I have to get to work. You've got Tommy today.

Kimmy, why are you here, and why did I never fix the lock on that door?

Kimmy, why don't you ever knock? What if I was in my underwear?

Kimmy, you do not need to do this.

Kimmy, you're supposed to be their parent, not their BFF.

Kimmy, your ex husband is here!

Know what you're not doing? Moving to LA with your favorite uncle.

Let me just take that.

Let me... Did I say "was"? I meant "is". I didn't... Kiss me.

Let's find out in the good room.

Let's go check out that other bedroom.

Let's go. The limo is waiting and that champagne is not gonna drink itself!

Let's not forget about my new job.

Let's take a walk.

Like a true American hero.

Like the little bird that eats the parasites off the rhino's back

Like, Monday or Tuesday?

Listen to me very carefully. When I say "go," you climb out the window.

Little cute, little weird

Little weenie?

Living with women, you'll learn valuable lessons, like how to talk to them.

Lola, tell us about your science project.

Long lost secrets of the Kama Sutra from deepest, darkest India.

Look who just got busted! The new kid!

Look who's awake.

Look, I'm just here for my sister.

Look, it's Team D.J.,

Looking snazzy, Maxwell!

Many, many times

Max, did you pick one? I have to get you to school.

Max, grab my medical bag and follow me. Steve, get a bowl of water.