Hot Fuzz (2007) Ultimate Soundboard Edit

A pleasure, my liege

Actually.

Adrenalin fueled thrill ride but there's no way you could perpetrate

And accidentally cut off his own head.

And sustained three injuries in the line of duty.

Back off!

Because he's fuck ugly.

Belonging to Leslie, that I intend to turn it into a memorial garden, in her honor.

Blower's fate was simply the result of his being an appalling actor.

But as far as I'm concerned, Cousin Sissy can go and fuck...

But more importantly, was a good friend and client of...

But that doesn't mean it requires anything less

Can I see the manager, please?

Come on, everybody. It's all right. It's just an accident.

Constable, official vocab guidelines state

Could I have a glass of the cranberry juice, please?

Couldn't let Blower jeopardize that

Covering your tracks with the judicial application of bacon and beans.

Crusty jugglers.

Detective Sergeant Wainwright and Detective Constable Cartwright.

Do you know this man?

Ended up having a nervous breakdown.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Everything's gonna be just fine.

Evidence room.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Fire up the roof.

Forget it, Nicholas. It's Sandford.

Get out.

Go, go, go.

Graffiti? They've gotta be dealt with, Frank.

He's in the loo.

Help me.

Here to announce the winners is the newest addition to the Sandford Police Force.

Hey, look.

Hey, now you come to mention it,

Hope these are okay

How you know the identity of the persons involved?

I believed in the immutable word of the law.

I can handle this, Danny.

I don't remember a time when I didn't wanna be a police officer.

I know

I rode round in it every second I was awake.

I think somebody needs to go home.

I was like you once.

I was talking about him.

I'm afraid my nickname of Sissy is only a revelation to yourself.

I'm disappointed you can't see the bigger picture

I'm not Janine.

I'm open to the concept of religion, I'm just not entirely convinced by it

I'm sure the store's security footage will absolve me.

I'm surprised you weren't snapped up sooner for a nice desk job. That's what I did.

Idea.

If it became accessible by road, it would be a prime location for say,

Impressive collar.

In Sandford, Gloucestershire

In the last 12 months has received nine special commendations.

Is it though?

Is it true that there is a place in a man's head

It's a wonder nobody's been hurt before.

It's all about being a team player, Nicholas.

It's not your village anymore

It's only an air rifle.

Janet Barker has decided to call her boys Roger and Martin

Janine, I've been transferred. I'm moving away for a while.

Leave this with me.

Leslie Tiller's dead? How?

Let's not forget that Greg was an extra in Straw Dogs.

Morning.

Move, move, move!

Mr. Webley, I trust you have a license for that firearm?

Mum!

Nasty way to go.

Nicholas, my son.

Nicholas, Nicholas, Nicholas.

Nicholas, what is it?

No

No, I mean which one do you wanna watch first?

No, thanks.

Not a member of the public anyhow

Nothing, nothing. I'm just gonna go back to the hotel.

Now, we've put you in the Castle Suite. Bernard will escort you up there

Of course, Cousin Sissy won't be too happy about that,

Of George Merchant on April 29th

Of the Metropolitan Police Service with me

Oh, come on.

Oh, I don't know. I quite like a little midnight gobble

Oh, Nicholas.

Oh, no!

On the church with a steeple.

Or for that matter, stage a car crash?

Out in the country.

Patrick Swayze's just robbed this bank and Keanu Reeves is chasing him

Patrol the churchyard with Saxon.

People have accidents every day

Point Break or Bad Boys II?

Pub?

Put a sock in it, town mouse

Righty ho ho

Romeo and Juliet and you're late for the dress rehearsal.

Sandford's most wanted.

Sergeant Angel to the Manager's office.

Sir, I think all these deaths are linked. I think Tim Messenger was murdered.

Sir, this doesn't make any sense.

Sir? Sir?

So, with the dispatch of the Sergeant,

Splattered before he could share with me

Spot of bother up at Ellroy Farm

Swan!

That was quite an impressive haul today, Constable Butterman.

That's just gonna scare it

The boys here aren't used to the concepts you're bandying about.

There hasn't been a recorded murder in Sandford for 20 years.

There was a bit earlier on that you missed

They won't be expecting that.

Thieving kids. Dog muck.

Tim, your number's up

To build his dubious mansion on Norris Avenue

To the weekly meeting of the Neighborhood Watch Alliance.

Tosser!

Two people involved, distinct signs of a struggle.

Very good.

Want anything from the shop?

We can do it together. You and me. Partners.

We'll get round to it.

Well, we should get a proper cordon off, screen the remains from public view

What absolute horseshit.

What on earth do you think you're missing out on?

When I distracted him with the cuddly monkey.

Who is going to have to come with us.

Who is it?

With respect, sir.

Would Sergeant Angel come to the stage, please?

Would you just excuse me, for just one second?

Yarp

Yeah. Hopefully, that's the last we'll see of him.

Yes, sir. Why is everybody eating chocolate cake?

Yes, well, I am on duty, so if you'll excuse me

You can arrest us if you like

You ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air?

You see, no one loved Sandford more than her.

You should think about using yours more often

You yourself expressed a wish to behead.

"Cop Enjoys Watching Young Lovers"? I don't think so.

777. Mr. Skinner

And we both know who with. Eve D****r.

Any news from earlier? Yeah. CSI found nothing.

Are you saying that this is a crime scene? Yes, sir, I am

Because I was there! There's a point

Cheated on his missus. Most certainly.

Detectives. Sir.

Do you mind if I ask how she died? Traffic collision.

Fondness for puns. Go on.

George Merchant. Self made millionaire.

He's a trolley boy at the local supermarket. Good.

Hello? Janine, it's me

Hey, where are you going? Personal errand.

How much do I owe you? Twenty quid.

I was hoping to check in. Check in?

Is that why you split up? What?

Is there anything I can do for you? No.

It's more than one person. Come again?

It's... Angel.

Like who? Farmers.

Lock me up. I'm sorry?

Martin Blower. Respected solicitor.

Maybe they're not here. Wait here.

My pen's running out. Not a problem

No luck catching them killers, then? It's just the one killer, actually.

Pint of lager, please, Mary. Right you are, my love

Tim Messenger. Go.

We? Come on, partner. Let's go to work.

Well, that's funny. What's that?

Well, you are always thinking away. It's what I do.

What are you doing? Saving your skin

What are you writing? Everything you're saying

What the... Sergeant Angel?

What, just like Tim Messenger? Yes!

Where did you get that? The offender had the Kalashnikov.

You should get some house plants. Oh, yeah, yeah.

'Cause he's... He's little and he's drunk.

"You do not have to say anything, however it may harm your defense