Hall Pass (2011) Soundboard Edit

Aah!

Aah! Brent, that hurts!

Ah, ah, ah.

Ahem. I was making a joke.

Ahh. Yeah.

All right

And bulletproof. Also, Curt Schilling's been in here, because I know him.

And Rick's house has got a bunch of family photos..

And right now, there's a lot of people without jobs.

And they danced

Because it would be inappropriate, Paige.

Brent, what are you doing here?

But also, what they've just put in is a new bike trail

But here's the weird thing. I wasn't even afraid of them at all

Buy you some ?

Can't you be believing now?

Come on. Can I go?

Come on. Let's go to the slides, Gunnar.

Come on. You're not gonna lose your job.

Creep into your victim 's ears

Do the alphabet, Rick! Aah!

Does Fred ever check out other women in front of you?

Don't waste your time, man.

Excuse me? Do you think these bar napkins smell like chloroform?

Excuse me.

First we want Willie to tighten it up.

Fred, I need to talk to you.

FRED; Right.

Fred! Fred, it's 4 a.m.

Fuck it. Okay, here

Gary was talk Who was he talking about it to?

Get out.

Go, go, go!

Go, go, go. Get down.

Guys, guys, relax. This is just the calm before the storm.

He couldn't fall asleep.

He's like a little monkey. He just wants to climb all over me

Here, I'll get it. I'll get it, watch. Watch, watch, watch.

Here, open. Oh.

Hey, girl

Hey, guys, come on. We're late

Hey, honey. We better get a move on. We gotta meet up with Fred and Grace soon.

Hi, my name's Meg. Paige's aunt.

Hi.

Hmm?

Holy shit!

Hot

How do you know those aren't her friends?

How late's this bitch staying open tonight?

How much would you pay to have your way with a Hawaiian Tropic girl...

Huh? PAIGE & MEG Aah!

Huh. There's something you don't see a lot.

I award your wife the house, the cars and half your wages.

I call it headquarters.

I can feel it

I can grant you this wish and make like it never happened.

I can't feel my legs!

I don't know. I mean, why couldn't we just keep the status quo?

I don't want you walking me down the aisle. You cheated on mom!

I get my weather from that site.

I gotta drop the kids off at a birthday party.

I guess I still have a lot to get out of my system..

I just mean if that was one of the things on the old bucket list..

I just talked with Maggie's dad and he was saying...

I know you feel these are the worst of times

I licky / C /icky K Y

I mean, I know it's kind of hard to understand after ....

I pretended to be asleep.

I thought you were down at the Cape.

I wanna remember what it feels like to be with someone...

I was your last?

I went online earlier this afternoon, got a few pick up lines to get the ball rolling.

I would if one came right now, sure

I wouldn't have the time

I'll do it, okay? Tennis elbow be damned. I will do it.

I'm giving you a hall pass.

I'm legal now.

I'm one of those people that wants to try everything once

If you recall, we had to make a couple of fairly substantial expenditures. Remember?

Is that the plan? Yeah.

It has been an honor to watch you grow up.

It was for me.

It was never for him.

It's a great place.

It's getting a little loud in here

It's my paradise.

It's not what you think. I swear.

Join me down at the river. We'll listen to some tunes and suck down a few beers.

Just be patient. He'll come.

Last week when you drove me home, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that

Let's get the creative juices flowing.

Let's keep the office clean.

Licky like a sexy ear

Licky my sticky

Like the city in Ireland.

Look, I saw her car in the parking lot. I know she's here.

Ls it real now

March 25th, 1989.

Mills, you're fired!

Mm

Mm hm. Mm hm.

Never looking down

No, I didn't get a fucking shot count.

No, I love you more.

No, I was just, um, upset about things...

No, it wasn't.

No, no

No, no, no. Don't be ridiculous. It was just a misunderstanding

No, no! No!

No, no. Okay, okay! Aah.

No, sure. But what did you just say?

No, you're not. Come on, come on.

No.

No. it's only 2:30. I'm gonna go back in the party.

Nobody cares about this?

Now, that's my girl.

Oh, God

Oh, great, man, great.

Oh, hell, no!

Oh, I don't think he meant it in a bad way

Oh, I have.

Oh, like swim with the dolphins

Oh, my God. You poor thing.

Oh, no. No, that is Kathy Griffin.

Oh, relax. Come on, they can't hear us.

Oh, wait a second, Eddie. First I want to show them my headquarters.

Oh. You're such a good daddy.

Okay? And it's not Applebee's. And it's not Olive Garden.

On and on and on We are calling out

Ouch.

Put her on a pedestal. The biggest one you can find.

Really?

Shake it, shake it, Mama You the one for me

Shake it, shake it, shake it You the one for me

She told me everything and I have to admit, I was very impressed.

She's having difficulty breathing.

So could you?

So I go out there, put the seat back, pump some tunes

So I guess the real question becomes...

So is this, like, your playground? It seems like great energy in here

Sorry

Sure.

Thank you

That Gunnar is so cute

That's when we're at our most charming.

The deep freeze is over.

They're just kids in here. I don't see how they afford these prices

This is racial profiling! I wanna speak to a barrister!

Uh, iced coffee, one Splenda, right?

Um, hmm.

Wait, okay, I see some movement.

We don't have much in common. I can't even talk to her

We lost our final game today, but I went yard

Well, yeah

Well, you didn't give him a free pass for nothing.

Well, you know, she's a good kid. She's a good kid and I do what I can for the kids

What are you doing?

What guy isn't gonna wanna be with a beautiful woman...

What is taking this dude so long?

What is your number?

What kind of sick prick jerks off in his front yard?!

What kind of soap do you use?

What the hell are we doing for the rest of the night?

What?

What?

What's that?

When you go south on a guy, but you don't use your mouth...

Whoa. Greased Lightning, take your foot off the gas. These things take time.

Whose car is that out front?

Will I see again?

Would you do me a favor and not tell Grace that I have disposable income?

Wow. You must've really pushed her to get her to this point.

Wow. You're good.

Yeah, I'm crazy!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you don't have to explain.

Yeah, you gotta stretch. Because even something like foosball...

Yeah.

Yeah. God

Yeah. I think you should Photoshop all of them out. Come on.

Yeah. We'll give it a whirl. Why not?

You all right? You okay?

You and I gotta start playing to our strengths. Starting now.

You have morals.

You knew how important tonight was!

You know what I love about divorcées?

You know what really bothers me?

You know what? Screw you, Fred.

You know, I went balls deep in one of the bridesmaids.

You know, if it's not a big deal.

You say no to me?

You think I give a shit, pudge boy?

You thought that was funny?

You're my only.

Your in laws took the kids for the weekend, so I came home early

Your wife didn't give you a permission slip, did she?

Your wife is living her dreams, and now this woman, this saint of a woman...

A bar? Ha, ha. it's a good routine.

All right. Yeah! Getting wasted

And how's she doing? Good.

And where is he? He's ....

Come on, Coakley, give me a break. Well, that might be plausible..

Come on! Come on! Come on!

Congratulations. Thank you, thank you.

Go Falmouth. Ha, ha. Ha, ha.

Go, go. Punch it. Punch it. I'm going.

He's a good guy. He is a nice guy.

He's the coach. Hey. Hi.

Hey, Rick

Hey. Hey.

Hurry! Hurry!

I don't know if we need to go now. Come on

I love you too, Fred. Oh, God.

I'm going deep with it. Five grand. Oh!

I've been listening the whole time. Oh

Is that true? I don't know

No disease. Not gonna cry ****.

No, no! No. Ooh. Hey! Oh!

No. Really?

Oh, happy birthday. Thanks.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh. Ha, ha. Ha, ha

Oh. Hi, Fred. Hey, Missy. Oh, here, I got you this.

Okay, now we got two of them. I don't care!

Okay. I turned 21 today.

Shake it, shake it, shake it Like a tambourine

So you got a woman who quit smoking. Right

Sorry. You weren't answering your phone. No. I'm working.

Stuffed g**** leaves? Yeah, and some gyros.

Thank you. Bye bye. Yeah. Night.

Tongue? Of course.

Well, the kids are probably enjoying it. No, that's just it.

Wow. That's a biggie. Happy birthday. Yeah

..

...but, uh, you know what?

...doesn't mean you have to go around screwing my family.

...hump them, Stretch Armstrong, just bibbety bap them all around.

...in case we lose power and the main genny doesn't kick in.

...these guys are clean.

...they just want to do it more than ever