Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) Soundboard Edit

A man has just walked in off the street.

A young brother in back of a police car, automatically I'm a perp?

Accept it.

All right. I pronounce you man and wife

And I just thought that maybe that might be relevant.

And I want to make her happy.

And then I met you...

Around their noses

Ask them to vote the incumbent party next election

Astern! Avast, you landlubbers!

Awaiting instructions. Over.

Because I am.

Benny?

Better than her marrying the wrong guy.

But I got the message.

By the way, Grandpa, you owe the chief one

Calm down. Okay?

Captain Murtaugh...

Chief's shitting bricks, man

Chinese food?

Chinese? Let me get my jacket

Closer! Closer!

Coast Guard, this is Code 7.

Coast is clear.

Come on, Riggs, get him.

Consider this a down payment on a future ass chewing.

Couldn't go outside. Couldn't go near a window

Crank that baby up.

Daddy, I'll be fine

Deep. Right down to your toes

Does confidentiality mean anything to you?

Don't be alarmed, Uncle Benny. It's only a drill.

Don't put your arms around me when I'm naked.

Even if I did, I would not talk to their Afghan ass for 3 hours!

Excuse me. Out of the way.

Flap my arms? Why?

For keeping it from me and letting me think...

Four!

From Mexico.

Get down! LAPD!

Get going! Here he comes!

Get it off your chest. You'll feel better. Tell me

Go get a priest! Goddamn it, Leo!

Go, go, go!

Guy's too damn good.

Have you got that?

He ain't worth dying for, Riggs. He ain't worth it.

He didn't get too far. They found him on a rooftop nearby

He left him a message. It's how they know where I live.

He likes me?

He was talking about his ancestors, buying them back.

He's dead, man

He's got it! He's got it!

He's kicking. You feel him?

He's turning

Hell of a fishing trip!

Hell, I got nothing against it. Times have got to change

Here's Butters.

Here's what we'll do. Take your clothes off.

Hey

Hey, hey! You could blind somebody!

Hey, Riggs, you all right?

Hey, Riggs! Remember, no damage!

Hey, Riggs. Why'd you call him my son in law?

Hey.

Hey. Can we try this thing on page 196 sometime?

Hey. How's it going, captain?

Hong's family was being held there and they led them back here.

How about that?

How's my hero?

Huh? How?

Hurry up!

I can't breathe!

I didn't learn how to walk till I was 10 years old

I don't know what fucking Afghanistan look like.

I don't know what to do.

I don't want to die in my underwear!

I got a nose for these things. Come on, tell me. What?

I got it here. Now, jump on three

I like Lee Butter. Better! I like it better

I need to ask you something

I need to talk to you about Lorna. Me and Lorna

I once got shot by a hot redder with a zip gun

I promise

I saw. We're in trouble, man!

I see the tuition

I thought you ought to know

I told you to keep the boat closer!

I want a complete set of forensics on all three.

I was faking it, Rog

I was kidding with you. I can smell a cop a mile away.

I was knocked down over here. I couldn't even get up.

I was wrong, I was wrong. Get down, get down

I won't talk to my daddy for 3 hours.

I'll leave you alone. I guess you want to be alone.

I'm not going. Wait, no, no, no. Wait, wait. Please, Riggs.

I'm not stupid.

I'm not wearing a suit!

I'm out. I got to find some rounds.

In here and here.

In Hong Kong, you'd be dead.

Incoming!

It distracts him, and that's when I shoot.

It is?

It was an idea!

It's my best man, after all.

It's not finished. Yeah.

It's the shoulder. it's the shoulder.

Jump! Jump!

Just airing out camping gear.

Just give it a shot, will you?

Let's do it. Okay

Let's go ask him.

Let's shoot his legs with Novocain...

Like I do.

Like, the other night on the ship when that guy nailed me.

Lived on the floor, ate on the floor, slept and watched TV on the floor.

Look at my suit! Look at my tie! Do I look like the fucking Crips' accountant?

Look who we got here.

Look, it's Harpo, Groucho, Chico and Fucko. How are you, boys?

Make up your mind!

Maybe they're shaking them down for more money

Me first, me first

Move back in and Grandpa Rog will be up all night with the baby.

Move this there. Now.

My arm! I didn't do anything!

My boat! My new boat!

My car wrecked and now my boat sunk

No means no!

No time for three. Go. Two!

No, he's not

No, I'm not gonna catch you. Wait. I got a Dumpster here.

No, I'm not, Riggs.

No, I'm not. No, I'm not

No, I'm:

No, it's okay.

No, no, Riggs.

No, Riggs. Renminbi

No.

Now you got my name right.

Oh. I messed up. Hang up. Gotta do it again. Da da da, four. Da da da, five.

Okay, you can come in now! Aah!

Oscar for the boy, Loreen if it's a girl.

Out of the way!

Out, out! Can I get drink or food?

Out. Okay, okay. Out, out.

Pant, pant, blow.

People get around boats and water, everything becomes fucking nautical!

Ping, cut us loose!

Positive?

Rianne

Riggs, watch out!

Riggs!

Say it like you believe it.

See? It's quicker!

Shit.

Shit. I'll draw his fire. You run for cover.

Shut the fuck up.

Shut up and keep your head down!

Since I met you, I've done some hairy shit. But this is not gonna happen.

So the chief used his special privilege, he's making you captains

Somebody stole your bike!

Son of a bitch gonna be a handful

Stephanie?

Stop! Stop in Chinese, motherfucker! Halt!

Sugar glazed with jelly. Thanks, Leo

Tell him, Buttkiss.

Thanks!

That general's gonna shit kittens when he sees the money's counterfeit.

That's a good one, Uncle Benny.

That's about all it's good for, wiping your ass

That's it!

That's Wah Sing Ku. The Four Father with him is his older brother.

The captain said, New people, new department.

The man's got feelings, you know?

These machines wreck your plastic, then give you the camera.

They asking me to be a granddaddy?

They'll claim asylum. Say they were persecuted, like everybody else

This is Rabbi Gelb.

This kid's gonna like me, I can tell.

Trish has food on the stove. We're out of here

Trish!

Try it sometime. Give it a whirl. Not only is it satisfying, it's the****utic.

Twenty seven people, nobody thought of bringing a camera?

Two, three. Son of a bitch.

Uncle Benny.

Wait, wait. You said ancestors

Was this a good idea?

We don't want them no more. It's counterfeit

We got no hard evidence, but we're pretty sure the big boss is Benny Chan

We'll hang here. Coast Guard'll be here soon

We're better!

What about one? Okay. One, two, get going!

What am I doing? How do the goyim do this?

What do we got behind door number two? Bingo.

What the hell is that?

What you grinning about? Think about how we can talk to Benny.

What?

What's going on? What are you doing?

What's going on?' Why are you lying to me?

What's renminbi mean? Renminbi means...

What's shaking?

When I work on a crime, I ain't thinking about the crime.

Who's been lining his pockets?

Who's this joker?

Why are we talking on the phone?

Why didn't you tell me?

Why don't you go see your own dentist?

Why should we get together and see each other on Christmas?

Why, does that violate your family values system or something?

Will him not to turn. Power of positive thinking

Will it to me, Riggs! Riggs!

Will me, Riggs. Will me.

Will you honor, love, et cetera...

Will you marry me?

Will you sit down? We're dinosaurs headed for extinction

With a howitzer or something.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. She's in the kitchen, probably on her third breakfast.

Yes, sir.

Yes. No.

You and me, one of us gets shot, hey, occupational hazard.

You can make it, Leo

You do?

You ever hear of Ebony Clark?

You have no watch?

You know anybody here?

You know how long it took me to fill that thing? All day!

You know them. Their uncle paid you to get them out of China.

You never talked about children?

You want some breakfast?

You want to get married?

You'll get an ulcer like this, kid. Settle down

You're a funny guy. This guy's wasting our time.

You're okay.

You're supposed to turn around and do that. We're captains

You're tough when on the phone.

Your baby is having my baby.

Your wretched masses, yearning to be free?

3 William 56, this is Air 12.

..

...before the baby comes. It's coming now.

Aw, man. He's wasted. Have some more.

Back when he was running smack. We never nailed him either.

Benny'll see him. Yeah.

Butters, can you drive us? Yeah, let's do it.

Check out the gun. Okay, okay.

China's west too. We can't divide.

Drop them! Okay, take it easy.

Emotionally..

Food and money. Money

He's not here

Hell, that's a long story. Hey, man, you're all wet.

Hello. Yeah

Hold on. Why am I talking...?

Huh? We haven't discussed it

I need you, man. Don't turn around. Don't turn around

I won't get corns! I got corns!

It does smell good. Great

It's Butters, captain. Yeah. I'll remember that

Let's run him over. Glad you see things my way.

No, not that! Riggs, don't! No, no, no!

Oh, boy. I'm tired

Oh, Leo. Hey, Riggs.

Oh, Martin, I'm sorry. I love it when you do that.

Okay? All right. Sorry.

Only in China. Renminbi

Riggs, not with him. The kid's doing a good job.

The shark. What about the shark?

They sell them as cheap labor

Trish is Ebony Clark. Trish is Ebony...

Uncle Benny's friend. Hey, Bruce.

Want me to help? Get out of here!

Wasn't he, Roger? Yeah, yeah

What do we do now? Show them our badges

What the hell for? What for?

What? It's Lorna. She beeped me.

What'd he say? He said watch his back

Where do you think? I don't know.

Will it? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you boinking her?