GLOW (2017) - Season 1 Edit

A rapper and a welfare queen abusing the elderly?

A sprinkle like this?

A stone cold frozen bitch!

About 20 to 30 people, freaks, some children, a homeless guy.

Ah. Okay, fine. I'll just introduce myself.

All right

All right, first match.

All right, ladies...

All right, let's do this. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,

All right, so you start with the lockup.

All right.

All right. Pace yourselves.

All the attention.

All you people have to eat are turnips, snow and misery.

Am I? Or am I your headliner? Unless you've got some other name brand actress

Americans will never give up their freedom!

And all really boring.

And also that video camera you got me got stolen,

And did, like, I don't... backflips and shit.

And end up an old spinster librarian like you?

And fill your swimming pools with borscht!

And God bless the USA.

And guilt you into submission.

And he was reading, reading, reading...

And hide paper towels under mattress

And I am willing to fight for it.

And I have to be going.

And I used to double her, so I'd know, okay?

And I'll come back when you're ready to work.

And it's my party.

And now...

And remember all the reasons I don't trust you.

And Russia likes **** only slightly more than faggots.

And screw people who are named after liqueurs.

And Shaft's mom isn't gonna get us there

And then I get you here. I got you in a hammerlock.

And then I'll just...

And then the Russian guy at the desk was kind enough

And then you're gonna try to blow me up,

And then, well...

And then, you know, I still... I've got you by the hair and big finish.

And then... hammer lock

And these two old bats are straight out of it.

And they can't even hold their liquor. Am I right?

And two, she's gonna make you look great.

And you love this shit.

And you're the only Russian I know.

Are you my mother? Yeah, I tried to look for it.

Are you rapping?

As my Aunt Jeanette used to say:

At the men's match, Steel Horse rode in on a motorcycle

Battle of the Beasts.

Be kind and generous to her, like you are with everyone.

Be nice to get them in early while we have time to, you know,

Because I am so into myself. [laughs]

Because I wanted to surprise you.

Because one, she's actually talented,

Because this is the greatest country on Earth,

Blonde.

Blood pressure's normal, ECG is fine.

Bloody red steaks and, well, the occasional apple pie.

Brain picking, dick licking...

Break a leg.

Brilliant director.

Brought to you by Patio Town!

But I did get you a ref.

But I love Barbra Streisand.

But isn't a bris supposed to happen when you're a baby?

But it won't work, because I'm too clever and thrifty.

But my heart?

But she didn't get along with my dog, and she had a weird mole.

But still make it about her. But she's gotta win the match.

But then again, who isn't?

But then I come back around

But there is g****.

But this cold war is only starting to heat up.

But we have an unspoken rule that we stay as far away from each other as possible.

But, Sam, you're gonna do it.

Butts in seats, right? Come on, Rob!

By the ice cream and the Puddin' Pops.

Can I get a little kiss for luck?

Can they see?

Can't even name your sports right.

Can't fight me if you can't catch me!

Carmen, get in the ring.

Check, check.

Clack your dentures together for Ethel and Edna,

Classic American! You run away. Bye bye.

Come on, one more coffee.

Come on.

Come on. Everybody knows Yentl.

Come on. We could hang out, go to Poseur, flip through records at Aron's.

Come with me.

Commie!

Cool.

Could have gone all the way with the Russians, who are...

Could you stop ransacking my drawers, please?

Could you, um, give us one minute?

De Palma ripped off Hitchcock.

Deep dive.

Did he die?

Did you ask her about your camera?

Do it in the ring. It'll look better up there.

Do the thing I like.

Do you get it, though? I'm into myself.

Do you have any suspenders or, like, a bow tie or something?

Do you know what happens next? 'Cause I don't!

Do you not see what I see?

Do you think they'll do it?

Does anyone have a microphone?

Don't say it that way. Then it gets in your head.

Drive it through. Feel it. Drive it through. All the way there.

Eat it! [groans]

Eighteen and under division. Very good.

Everyone loves you. You're like Santa Claus.

Everyone made the list, Tammé. It's a lineup.

Families love me.

Fine, here.

Fine, let's try it.

Fine. Go change your clothes.

Fish don't talk.

Free sports!

Free to kick your red, scary ass even redder.

Free! Free!

From the cloud crowned heights of the Andes

From the icy wastelands of the frozen north

Fuck religion. Don't touch my penis.

Fuck you, Mark!

Fuck.

Fucking Rhonda.

Get over it already.

Goddamnit.

Goldilocks, why are you fighting the inevitable?

Good. I have a job for you.

Great choice of words.

Great.

Gregory.

Guess I'd better get used to it.

Guess you better get yourself a lawyer.

Hate her all you want.

Have you ever seen Venus in Chains or Gina the Machina?

He let you read it?

He said he heard I was available. Meet your new ref.

Help!

Helter skelter, here we come.

Here she is...

Here to destroy our American way of life.

Here. Here's a pen.

Hey, Agnostic Toad is fucking awesome. I don't care what people think.

Hey, hey, hey. Where you going?

Hey!

Hey! Machu Picchu! What the fuck is going on?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. You leaving?

Hey... Can I get a little privacy, please?

Hiding under the bleachers.

His voice is quite soothing.

Hmm...

Hollering about some food stamps.

Hoo.

Hot damn, I made the list!

How about a drop kick, huh? Like this. [grunts]

How about a shoulder tackle? That's strong.

How did you even find me?

How did you spend that much money?

How do you know that?

How'd that look?

Human Mabubifarti?

I actually enjoy watching you make her feel like shit,

I am Gittel, the Orthodox Warrior!

I am like...

I am many dolls.

I am noble Soviet bear.

I am so on the Russian wavelength.

I can wear something else.

I could be at home with my baby.

I don't get my own fight.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know, between renting the motel and all your salaries. Buying the gym.

I don't know. Get a facial. Go shopping.

I don't need to pay for it.

I don't think I have time.

I feel like I'm disappointing a lot of people right now.

I followed your parents when they dropped off Randy last week.

I get in your face?

I gotta adjust.

I guess I could work on my character.

I guess she figured out how much money I was spending on all this.

I guess that means we're a team now.

I have a star problem.

I have cousin Zoya. You look nothing like her.

I have to get the boy some vodka. Excuse me.

I have woman, sometimes.

I have woman, sometimes.

I have woman... sometimes.

I know the machine is out from diet orange,

I like her. She's very winning.

I love the Russians. I love the Russians.

I mean, Cherry's moves are amateur hour.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

I mean, if you can scream for vodka, maybe you're a little too old.

I mean, like, who's gonna announce, you?

I mean, she barely talks, and she can move.

I mean, shut the fuck up.

I mean, they don't party, they haven't traveled,

I mean, this is like an internal struggle about racial inequality in America.

I mean, what happens then?

I mean, you won't even talk to me. But Ruth?

I need to learn more about being Russian,

I once went so method as April in a production of Company,

I only eat fresh fruits and vegetables,

I only have one, and it's a tag team match.

I picked this sequence because it's something you actually can do.

I really can't see where we would've crossed paths.

I really like this girl, man... but I can't seem to say anything right.

I really wanna be an authentic representation,

I sound crazy? You joined a wrestling television show.

I spin you around, and I set you up for "the bread line."

I think he's just trying to butter me up for a big part in his next movie,

I think we can do better.

I think you deserve better than Boris and Natasha.

I used to date a Russian woman. Yana Popov. Like the vodka. No relation.

I wanna literally leave the ground and do some badass aerial shit.

I want a good clean fight, all right?

I was early.

I was going through with my cart,

I was gonna wear red.

I was just saying that this morning.

I was Liberty Belle!

I was really great in that production. I just used my pain to emote.

I was watching you and I was like, "I don't even know who this woman is.

I wear a giant chai.

I will lock you up with my completely covered legs

I will neuter all your pet dogs

I wish. No, I've gotta chaperone Glen Klitnick.

I wonder why.

I'd like to call on the power of my three favorite Americans:

I'd stay down there if I were you, Boris.

I'll deal with Debbie.

I'll enter the ring with like 17 children who have those little curls and...

I'll get paper towels.

I'll put in extra time, happily

I'm a genius. And I get all the boys with my big brain.

I'm an actress.

I'm bad, you're good.

I'm canning your weird, stalkery, overly critical ass.

I'm gonna barf.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna build settlements all over your ass,

I'm not here to apologize to him.

I'm not interested in getting coffee with you,

I'm not sure. I'm gonna go check it out.

I'm not writing it for the masses.

I'm playing a character. Zoya the Destroya, the Soviet Scourge.

I'm pretty into it.

I'm so cold,

I'm sure when people read your zine, not everyone thinks it's art

I'm sure you got ideas about that.

I'm trying to remember where I was when Martin Luther King got murdered.

I'm uncomfortable. What if people freak out?

I'm winning.

I'm working on my costume, okay? Plaits, glasses, braces, and a bow tie?

I'mma call every match for you

I'mma come in, like, "One, two, three! Out!"

I've been waiting my whole life to do this.

I've been working on stuff with Melrose.

I've never done anything in front of an audience before.

If any of you have any information about the whereabouts of my video camera,

If Russia can't go to war with America, what's the point? Right?

If she desired.

If we need a new camera, it's coming out of your salary.

If you don't start impressing the shit out of me on the mats,

If you were at home with that kid,

If you're worried about your heart, give Weight Watchers a try.

In a few weeks, we shoot the pilot.

In Soviet Union, we eat stars and stripes for breakfast.

In the six weeks you've known me, you ever hear me tell a joke?

Is covenant.

Is it over for the American dream? Is this bye bye Miss American Pie?

Is more fun than work break at Gulag.

Is she all right? Is this part of the gag?

Is she going to sing something from Yentl?

Is that "places"?

Is that a bad thing?

Is the show off?

Is this some sort of elaborate ploy?

It only hurts a little.

It should be in my DNA, but I didn't even make it into the ring.

It sucked. All tits and blood. Total hack job.

It was at the supermarket. They take all my food stamps there.

It wasn't a fucking trailer park.

It's a thinker.

It's a video.

It's all about the **** now.

It's early morning. It's nice. It's... It's quiet.

It's easier than trying to figure out all the fucking paperwork.

It's everything you need.

It's gonna be great.

It's in her locker. We all saw it

It's just essentially the same three moves

It's Klitnick. It's Glen Klitnick.

It's like a fucking trust fall, only I stare at your face

It's missing something. Maybe I could find an ushanka?

It's my new character. See... Look, you're right, you're right.

It's never too early to be in character.

It's not great sleep.

It's not insane. It's a job.

It's not Monopoly money.

It's pretty catchy.

It's respectable.

It's the title card for the pilot. It's the main event, Debbie.

It's time to break that rule. You said, "Find me a great heel."

Jesse Jackson will be our next president.

Jesus Christ. [sighs]

Just bite me. Okay.

Just go get ready.

Just the man I wanted to see. Hey, how do you say "Gregory" in Russian?

Just, you know, add a little extra something something.

Just... Come on, bitch.

Justice has been served.

Justine.

Keep your hands up.

Keith?

Known by the ancient Incas to be the palace of the gods,

Let her jump on you.

Let's do it again.

Let's go, cracker.

Let's go, you dirty Russian.

Let's go! Yeah! Come on!

Liberty Belle.

Life is suffering.

Like a stalker.

Like carrot cake?

Like, that's how much they hate me.

Like... [grunts]

Listen up, you little punk

Listen, Gregory... I need to pick your brain.

Little decoration for the ring from our sponsor.

Look at me. You're gonna kill it.

Look who came crawling back.

Look, I have tolerated her being here because I, uh...

Look, if you miss, my body will break the fall. I'll take the hit.

Look, it's not racist if the black girls came up with the idea, right?

Look.

Look.

Looking for them Mrs. Paul fish sticks and the Hungry Man dinners.

Looks like the blacks have the upper hand.

Lousy Commies.

Love me the mashed potatoes in a Hungry Man dinner.

Machu Picchu.

Man, that Debbie. You can't tell that girl anything

Maybe I'll see you later.

Maybe we do it from the second rope. It's still cool.

Maybe we should have a safe word.

Maybe you give pleasure with mouth.

Maybe you're..

Michael and me and all our relatives, we're just like Yentl.

Mm mm. No, I know I seen you there.

Mm.

Mothers and Lovers.

Mothers and Others.

My boyfriend didn't recognize me.

My cousin Michael is chess champion.

My mom cut me off.

My salary? You're supposed to be the rich guy.

My video camera was in your locker?

Need a ref, gonna need an announcer.

Nice to meeting you, too.

No dirty business, no funny business. Let's keep it...

No one can defeat Soviet Union!

No questions asked, except you'll be immediately fired.

No work, no husband.

No, I didn't... I didn't just lose it. It was here, and then it was not here.

No, I just... I just... I gotta figure out a couple of things.

No, I swear. I got you.

No, I think it was "Others." I sort of read it.

No, like a man who's sick of wondering where the fuck his wife and child are.

No, you know what? You're right.

No? Need more? Okay. Turnbuckle.

No.

No.

No. No, no, no. The show is on.

No. That's not appropriate.

Nope.

Not looking good for the white supremacists.

Not on purpose.

Not some cartoon Russian villain.

Not this again. Please. Babies are boring.

Now he's in America, he gets to be who he is.

Now I'll move over and pull.

Now that we're in America, we're free to be ****

Now, I didn't get you a camera operator 'cause you lost my camera,

Now!

Now.

Nyet!

Of me.

Oh, a dirty move by a dirty Russian.

Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. Your wrestling has really improved.

Oh, God, Dawn.

Oh, God! It's gonna be great!

Oh, I didn't know you were *******.

Oh, it folds.

Oh, mine has got a star next to it. 'Cause I'm bright, like a star.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! She could bite me squarely in the butt!

Oh, my God. Think about it, okay?

Oh, my God. You sound like a Protestant.

Oh, no, we're both gonna look like assholes.

Oh, okay.

Oh, okay. All right.

Oh, on the video camera I found in my locker.

Oh, shit.

Oh, so, I'm a star and a winner. [chuckles]

Oh, so, is this, like, a celebration for him or...?

Oh, that producer guy stopped by this afternoon.

Oh, yeah, 'cause guys love a big brain.

Oh, yeah, well, someone put it there, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I think I saw that Venus one.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yep.

Oh, you stupid American swine!

Oh!

Oh.

Oh. [chuckles] I'm not really a soda person.

Oh. Sam's getting me a horse. [chuckles]

Oh. Wow.

Oh... I thought that was a cat. [chuckles]

Oh... like Yentl.

Okay

Okay, can you stop with the accent? It's a little early for that.

Okay, pretending to be a man.

Okay, then you could just charge me. Do you wanna bite me?

Okay, well, I am trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Oh, yeah.

Okay. You're not gonna drop me, right?

One last time. Defect or die.

One quick question. How do you spell "freedom"?

One's too hot, one's too cold.

Only three new shows...

Ooh, child. You are in for a treat.

Ooh, you little guttersnipe!

Or if any of you happened to steal it, bring it the fuck back now.

Or may... Or maybe it is.

Or maybe we could open with a bit more panache.

Or talking to you about my life, but, uh...

Or whatever they're supposed to be, have won.

Our director, Sam Sylvia.

Our names are together, fighting the Beatdown Biddies. [chuckles]

Out of respect for your culture.

Over here, who we got? All right. Let's go.

Ow.

Please boo for Vicky the Viking.

Please don't tell anyone.

Please. Don't... I surrender. Let's talk this out like adults.

Prepare yourself for mutually assured destruction!

Probably gonna have to make a budget for costumes.

Probably should've had breakfast. [chuckles]

Put your hands together for Machu Picchu!

Put... Fuck.

Randy, whatever else you have going on with... life.

Ready?

Ready.

Right. Yes. It was their idea.

Right. You only listen to women if you're fucking them.

Ripping off De Palma isn't a genre.

Ronald Reagan, Larry Bird and Jesus Christ himself.

Russia. World's biggest alcoholics,

Sam wants us to fight two old white ladies.

Sam, I am not working with her.

Save it for the match. Come on. Save it.

Says I don't listen.

Segregation forever!

Seriously?

Shalom!Mazel, mazel!

Sharpen the edges

She gets mad at me.

She gets mad at me.

She hogs the ring and the story makes no sense.

She is a dirty, nasty, stepped in dog shit heel.

She says I don't take her out enough.

She swoons every time you walk in a room.

She thinks I don't give enough pleasure with mouth.

She was killing the other day with that. All right? I swear.

She's a big girl, and good personality.

She's a perfect heel for your face.

She's jealous, all right? She's just got a crush on you.

She's seen every one of your films.

She's the best villain we have.

Six hundred thousand ish.

Slam 'em down!

Sleeping with him?

So great.

So I'm gonna need another one.

So sad. So sad, Miss America!

So, do I grab onto a specific body part?

So, first live match coming up

So, he's a double hack. A hack of a hack. Fucking perfect.

So, I am gonna take...

So, I don't wanna look like an asshole on Friday.

So, I only dress in gray and build things out of cinder block."

So, I've been working on these opening moves called

So, it's all about going with the flow.

So, it's not us, it's them.

So, it's... the hammer! I start with a body slam. [grunts]

So, picture me in a little cap and glasses,

So, so, so? You will shine, no matter how many people are in that ring, okay?

So, the girls can do their own hair and makeup for now.

So, this is it, huh? House at the top of the beanstalk.

So, we sponsor him, make big noise

So, what am I supposed to do?

So, what am I supposed to do? Debate her?

So, you're, like...

So...

Somebody please get me a drink!

Someone needs to teach these Casper looking racist idiots a lesson

Something like that, maybe?

Something we say if it's, like, mission abort?

Sorry. Sorry. I get the last line.

Sound, I got my sister's karaoke machine.

Stalin!

Starring daytime television's former Laura Morgan.

Stop it.

Stupid American Barbie!

Suit's in. So, I guess that makes this our first official production meeting.

Sure

Sure, Ruth. Places.

Tag, corner.

Take your horns and your raiding and go back to Norway.

Tell them what, that you're emotionally distressed? Who isn't?

That guy's a jerk.

That means you're supposed to win the match.

That was not what I had hoped for.

That's a thought.

That's it?

That's just a big casting couch for you.

That's none of your business, so, just keep quiet.

That's not right. You can't come in here with that on.

That's really reductive.

That's right. America will not...

That's strong.

That's the genre.

The audience is like, "Aah!" Slack jawed. Maybe they shit their pants.

The audience won't know.

The Beatdown Biddies.

The Cold War never looked hotter...

The commissariat for the proletariat.

The fainting was an extreme response to emotional distress.

The final match of the night.

The Mickey and Judy putting on a show in the barn kind of feeling?

The sex is nice, though.

The terrorist, and we are gonna kill.

Then he hit on me at an airport bar.

Then we go into the headlock.

There you go

There you were...

There. [yells] Let everybody see it.

There's a feral cat colony in that empty lot down the street.

There's a metal thing with a handle that the cup goes into.

There's a whole audience here... Oh, my God. Are you okay?

There's a whole audience here... Oh, my God. Are you okay?

There's no impact, and it's not exciting.

There's too fucking many of you anyways.

They have no sense of irony.

They spelled your name wrong.

They won't.

They'll do it.

They're not gonna know it's us. That's why they wore these things.

They're pretty big Streisand fans, by the way.

Think how that's gonna look.

Thinks I don't pay enough attention to her.

This is about accountability, Sam. And trust and thrift.

This is insane. It's fucking insane.

This is Rob, and he's coming. And he's bringing his entire coven.

This way you can see what she can do. All right? Just watch, Debbie. Watch.

To invite me to the live girl on girl wrestling match

To know about this country's racial history.

To the first ever match of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.

Truly, she's a stranger."

U... S... A!

Uh, also, I guess I should try to bolster you all.

Uh, and don't dress like what you say you're not.

Uh, excuse me. I have to go.

Uh, I don't know, by doing a wrestling show

Uh... how you saying? Escort.

Um, does anybody know how to play piano or keyboards?

Um... Anyway..

Um... I'm speak singing. Like Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady.

Unless you wanna spend the next three weeks in a La Z Boy

Until we find somebody you're comfortable with.

USA dies! Whoo!

USA! USA!

USA! USA!

Use this hand and throw me. You'll look great.

Wait till you get a load of our warheads.

Wait, wait, wait. What, you just lost it?

Wait. Where are you going?

Was very difficult for him to get out

Watch me drop some Talmud on ya head.

We are empire.

We came to train with you, the Lumberjacksons. [chuckles]

We celebrate the feast of Lenin,

We celebrate.

We could also hunt it.

We didn't all work in factories and write sad poetry.

We don't celebrate your all nice American Thanksgiving.

We got what's his name coming, right? Glen Clitface?

We had to live in secret.

We need to step it up,

We'll find a great place to put this. Let's get you a good seat.

We're gonna need a cameraman, gonna need sound, lighting.

We're gonna need... You don't smoke.

We're the heroes. We're like Pam Grier times two.

We're working together.

We've got Glen Klitnick from the network inside

Welfare Queen and Junk Chain!

Welfare Queen! Welfare Queen! Welfare Queen!

Welfare Queen! Welfare Queen! Welfare Queen!

Well, guess it's official.

Well, if it ain't Miss America.

Well, let's just try it, right? We can always add on.

Well, maybe you could have warned me, and then I could have prepared more.

Well, Sam read it to me.

Well, we are America!

Well, we're playing the US versus Russia as a sort of Cold War ballet

Well, who is that real estate guy

Well, yes, it is.

Well, you can't work if I can't get your scene partner into the goddamn ring.

Well..

Wha...? Maybe?

What a surprise.

What about the 12 other girls busting their ass out there?

What am I supposed to do?

What are you talking about?

What did Sam say?

What horse?

What if they put us on a watch list? What if Bill Cosby gets mad at us?

What if they recognize our shoes?

What is that?

What is The King and I?

What is TheKing and I?

What now?

What the fuck does that mean? How am I selling out?

What the fuck? Why is that there?

What the hell, man? Are we doing community theater?

What you know about that?

What, are these fucking divorce papers?

What?

What'd you do to her? Why is she framing you?

What's happening?

What's the matter with her? What's she talking about?

What's with the horse head?

Whatever good thing that I have built, you wanna piss all over it.

Whatever you want. We can work around your schedule.

When Michael heals, she might be a nice present for him.

Where she ****s, pillages, but mostly ****s,

Where we just be... thanking the rats for not eating us.

Where's Lupe?

Which is also mind blowing. You put your name on this trash?

Which is wrong name for this sport, because football is soccer.

White power!

Who is Jules Feiffer?

Who's Sam?

Whose name was on a bench outside your old apartment?

Why can't you embrace the, like, do it yourself charm, huh?

Why didn't you tell me about this?

Why do you need a horse if you're the brain?

Why don't you work on your wrestling skills?

Why not? Today's a glorified private rehearsal.

Will you relax?

Wish I could tell you there's a full house out there, but there is not.

With something all American and awesome, because you're...

With the soon to be famous

Work out the kinks.

Wow, maybe you should go back to practice.

Wow! See?

Yeah

Yeah, but I was sleeping and then I'd wake up and doze off again,

Yeah, he's confirmed.

Yeah, I guess you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't...

Yeah, I might be a Welfare Queen, but I don't tolerate no bigots!

Yeah, I'm nervous. I don't wanna talk about it.

Yeah, if only I were on that much speed

Yeah, it's all real simple.

Yeah, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

Yeah, why don't you work on your movies instead of selling out?

Yeah, you asked for lights. We've got lights, in the ceiling, right?

Yeah, you're not the only one who does research.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. You scared me a little bit.

Yentl had to come to America to be who she was.

Yes!

Yes! Sam?

Yes.

Yes. That. I wanna... I wanna do that.

Yo.

You always fucking do this. Whatever success I have,

You and Barbie, get your shit together.

You are a bright shining star.

You are USA. She's Soviet Union.

You are weak capitalist dog.

You boo?

You bought that place?

You can't just go out and do coke and piss away all your money

You doing great, girls.

You don't know me.

You don't talk so much, you don't say wrong things.

You don't wanna let people down. I get it.

You get back up, and then I sickle your feet so you..

You get up, you turn it around on me. You lock me up, and you think you got me,

You going to a costume party?

You got that?

You guys are doing great.

You guys, I wanna fly.

You have piss on your pants.

You having a yard sale?

You know Yentl?

You know, I think I seen you before.

You know, one of those big fur hats?

You love being a temperamental star. I know you do.

You mangy mutt. You wanna bite me?

You need the metal thing.

You need to be in school.

You okay?

You say you want real thing, but you keep asking stupid questions.

You sing from Yentl, da?

You sort of grab everything and fall backwards

You sound crazy.

You stick your arm into her. You know? Hit her. Don't be afraid.

You still have to wake up and be a professional.

You taught to Melrose and Sheila, only in a different order.

You think elbow to face will stop me?

You think that's good for you or your boring baby? It's not.

You think you're so great... with your...

You think your nukes are so big?

You wanna bite me?

You wanna order dessert?

You want some sturgeon on rye bread?

You went to a wrestling match?

You would burn up in a smoldering ash heap of rage and disappointment.

You're gonna be great.

You're gonna look like that asshole in AC/DC.

You're gonna need all these things by Friday?

You're just jealous of my horse!

You're nervous about the match tomorrow

You're not gonna need luck. I scripted the match so you'll win

You're right. We'll just keep going

You're sitting on the porch eating Pringles.

You're winning. [grunts, groans]

You've got the biting wit down pat.

You've had a very rough day.

You've lost, Zoya.

Your life would become just anger and resentment.

Your... decadent fast food and your disgusting football,

Zoya is a dirty, dirty girl.

Zoya!

[all jeering] In... In... In Soviet Union,

[clears throat] Hey. Hey.

[crowd cheers] [giggles]

[crowd] Ooh! [cheers]

[Dawn] Segregation forever! [all jeering]

[Dawn] White power! Come in here wearing sheets?

[giggles] [woman laughs]

[Glen] Hello, hello. Oh, hey, Glen. What you got here?

[grunting] [laughing]

[grunts] Come on, Debbie. This could work.

[grunts] Okay. Okay, I don't like that.

[grunts] Watch it, handsy. [Tommy] That was good.

[horn honks] [Jenny screaming]

[in normal voice] Throw me. What?

[in Russian] Don't encourage her. Yentl!

[Keith yelling] [Cherry laughing]

[Kurt] Like that. See it? [laughs]

[man] Elizabeth. Who is Jules Feiffer?

[man] That is the Jules. Yes.

[man] Who is this girl, huh? [Ruth] Ahem.

[Ruth in normal voice] Fine. Freedom!

[Ruth yelps] [crowd] Ooh!

[Ruth] What's going on? [Gregory] His bris.

[Ruth] Yeah. [Tommy] Here we go.

[shouts] Hey, hey, hey.

[speaking Russian] Okay, go ahead. All right.

[Stacey] Oh, no. [Dawn] Hey.

[Tommy] Oh, don't fall for that

[Tommy] Run it in there. [grunts]

[whistles] Sam.

♪ GLOW, GLOW, that's the name ♪ ["Exodus" playing]

♪ GLOW, GLOW, that's the name ♪ How did you shoot this?

♪ Ready ♪ ♪ Ready! ♪

♪ Ready ♪ ♪ Ready! ♪

♪ Steady ♪ ♪ Steady! ♪

♪ Steady ♪ ♪ Steady! ♪

♪ You hold the future in your hands ♪ No, no, no.

A little something? Yeah, like a little... [exhales]

♪ You wonder how you keep going ♪ And..

All right, on three? All right.

Answer there is: in the '84 '85 season, Hey.

Are you okay? When you hit her,

Aw, look at you being a considerate date. This is not date.

Because she fucked my husband! Oh, so what? That's life.

Beirut, y'all. Beirut. [keyboard playing]

Breakfast dessert? Fuck, yeah.

Can I come with you? It's a family function.

Find someone else. Maybe you're too picky.

Get up! [whimpers]

Go, Welfare Queen! [Tammé] Yeah, what you know about that?

Go? Where? Do you need something?

Guys, great news. What?

Ha! How about a headbutt? Oh!

Hey, Rob

Hey, Tommy. [Tommy] You're lucky Dad's on the road.

Hey! Hey! [women grunting]

Ho! Ref, that's not legal. Get in there. Come on, now

How much money were you spending? [sighs]

I am not a hooker. Of course not.

I can't tell from the faces. He's new to America

I do. Okay.

I got this. I know you do.

I gotta go to practice. Ditch.

I mean, how much worse can it get? Worse? You're young, you're working.

I saw you there in the frozen food aisle. That is impossible.

I'm here for you, okay? Okay.

I've gotta go. Come on. I was kidding.

Is that the only song you know? It is.

It's okay. All right.

Let's check it out, huh? Right.

Let's do it. Okay.

Like a little... Like this? Yeah. A little...

Music, boom. Casio City

No, thanks. I'm not a spinster.

Oh, my God. Yes. That's genius. [chuckles]

Oh, yeah. And there, there. Gah!

Okay? Fine. Personnel.

One, two, three! Fortune Cookie, down! [bell dings]

Ruth is the right match for you. Sam.

Shall I put it on? Yeah, absolutely.

She's bothering everyone. You know I have trouble saying no.

So, maybe I could come with you. Sam says rehearsals are closed.

Take the day off. But I'm here. I'm ready to work

Thank you. [Sam] Mm hmm.

That was better. Yeah, better.

That was good. Okay

That's how you sell it. Yeah.

That's kind of exciting. It's kind of cool. Maybe, but...

The fuck is this? I will beat you with a chicken.

The Viking wins. Yeah, all right. [bell dings]

The Viking wins. Yeah, all right. [bell dings]

Then we go into the arm twist. Ah!

Um... You don't...

Very nice. [music stops]

We do not say "out." You sure?

What is its head? [man] Yes.

What the fuck? [Keith] Unh unh.

What? Your camera.

What?! [laughing] Yeah.

What's going on? [Ruth] We need your help.

What's that, princess? Come here.

What's up, old man? You need something? Hilarious.

When you put it that way... We do my version, we're empowered.

Yeah, this barely fit in the car. I bet.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! ["Exodus" playing on keyboard]

Yeah. Yeah, well...

Yeah. Yes!

You end up here? You end up here.

You guys got somebody over here for me? [Dawn] Come at me. Come at me.

You guys think you can handle that? Sure, seems manageable. Right, Debbie?

You pick now. [Elizabeth] Let's go "Broadway" for 400.

You see... No. Right there,

Zoya the Destroyer. [Russian music playing on boom box]

...is based on this classic American novel.

...two, one.

"Pay for it"?

"This nursing home is a waiting room of hell."

"What should I do?

"Zoya, nice to meeting you." [chuckling]

["Exodus" continues playing]

[all chanting] USA! USA! USA!

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

[all jeering]

[all laughing]

[all] ♪ GLOW, GLOW, that's the name ♪

[Arthie laughing maniacally]

[Arthie yells]

[Arthie yells]

[audience booing and yelling]

[audience booing]

[audience cheering]

[audience cheering]

[audience cheering]

[audience jeering]

[audience yelling]

[Bash] Cool.

[Bash] Whoa.

[beeping on TV]

[both grunting]

[both grunting]

[both laugh]

[both yelling]

[both] Thank you, places

[both] What is a brioche?

[chanting] Jump! Jump! Jump!

[chanting] USA! USA!

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles] Yeah. God, I love that name.

[clears throat]

[crowd chanting] USA! USA! USA!

[crowd chanting] Welfare Queen! Welfare Queen! Welfare Queen!

[crowd cheering]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd cheering]

[crowd cheers]

[crowd laughs]

[crowd laughs]

[crowd murmuring]

[crowd screaming]

[crowd whooping]

[Dawn] Oh, goddamnit.

[Dawn] Ref! What is it, ref? Let's do it!

[Dawn] White power! White power!

[Dawn] Yeah, get her! [laughs]

[Dawn] You stink!

[Debbie grunts]

[Debbie in Southern drawl] Come on, you... You rabid dog.

[Debbie] In America, we're free.

[Debbie] That's because there's no food.

[Debbie] You drag me here at the ass crack of dawn...

[Debbie] You need to hire someone else, someone without rage issues.

[Debbie] You pushed me.

[door opens]

[exhales]

[feedback rings]

[feedback rings]

[Fran] "French Cuisine" for 600.

[gags]

[gasping] Ref... My voice...

[Generation X's "Ready, Steady, Go" playing]

[giggles]

[Gregory] She's in character. Actress. So she says. Maybe hooker.

[Gregory] Yes,

[Gregory] You wanna feel Russian, you must drink vodka.

[groans]

[groans]

[groans]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[in English] In Russia, it wasn't option.

[in English] Michael want you to sing song from Yentl.

[in English] Nice to meeting you.

[in normal voice] And then, you know, it's fight, fight, fight.

[in normal voice] But then, of course, you would come back and defeat me

[in normal voice] Gregory.

[in normal voice] I love that.

[in normal voice] I'll just show you. I'll just show you. Um...

[in normal voice] I'm supposed to be the face. They're chanting for her.

[in normal voice] Nothing? That was solid.

[in normal voice] Okay, okay. I'm sorry,

[in normal voice] Okay.

[in normal voice] Okay. I mean, I'm not really su...

[in normal voice] Ow, ow, ow.

[in normal voice] Really feeling that.

[in normal voice] Still working on the names.

[in normal voice] Wait, whoa. What are you doing? [grunts]

[in normal voice] What do Russians have against mugs?

[in normal voice] Will you introduce me to more people?

[in normal voice] You think you're getting away, but I get you by your hair.

[in Russian accent] "Nice to meeting you." "Nice to meeting you."

[in Russian accent] "rough toilet paper!" [yells]

[in Russian accent] "the hammer and sickle."

[in Russian accent] "Vodka for breakfast!"

[in Russian accent] Deep dive. [shouts]

[in Russian accent] Fuck you!

[in Russian accent] I am Zoya. Thanks to you for having me at party.

[in Russian accent] I am Zoya... the Destroya.

[in Russian accent] I get you up again for "the potato soup."

[in Russian accent] In Soviet Union, we clean with rubles

[in Russian accent] Morning, comrade!

[in Russian accent] Oh, step off! She's still got me!

[in Russian accent] Oh, you may have defeated me today,

[in Russian accent] one of those dolls in a doll, in a doll, in a doll.

[in Russian accent] This is for my buddy right here.

[in Russian accent] This is how we drink tea in Russia. With pain.

[in Russian accent] You want to play with me, prom queen? Take this.

[in Russian accent] Zoya drinks like a sailor and swears like a fish.

[in Russian] She's mad at me.

[in Russian] Who is this?

[in Southern drawl] Oh, darling

[in Southern drawl] Typical whiny Soviet.

[in Southern drawl] Viking scum, this is America.

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[Jenny] Go, go, go!

[Jenny] Hey, everyone! This Friday, women's wrestling!

[Keith] Count one!

[Keith] Hey, hey, hey, what's this?

[Keith] Oh, we got some winners. Let's go, ladies.

[knocks]

[Kurt] How about something with a jump, like this?

[laughing] Oh, shit.

[laughs] Infidel!

[man on TV] "Tete de veau" is this part of a calf. Fran.

[man] ...a musical with songs by Roger Miller...

[man] Correct response is, "What is a brioche?"

[man] Here we go. Say goodbye.

[man] If your canard, or duck, is sauvage, it's this.

[man] Who are Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy?

[Melrose] Ah, I just come alive in front of an audience.

[Melrose] Yeah, come on.

[Michael in Russian] No! No! I change my mind.

[Michael screams]

[one person clapping]

[panting on TV]

[panting]

[panting] I can't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[panting] I think I'm having a heart attack.

[playing "Exodus"]

[plays keys]

[plays keys]

[punk music playing on headphones]

[rabbi speaking Hebrew]

[rap music playing over TV]

[Rhonda] Well, like I said, I'd doze off and then wake up again.

[rock music playing]

[Ruth chuckles]

[Ruth groans]

[Ruth panting]

[Ruth speaking Russian]

[Ruth yelps]

[Ruth] Capitalist pig!

[Ruth] I want the whole room to boo me.

[Ruth] It was too hot

[Ruth] Shalom, everyone!

[Ruth] So, why am I here early?

[Sam sighs]

[Sam] All right, it looks like the Black Panthers,

[Sam] All right, well, this is definitely not a match for children

[Sam] And now the moment you've been waiting for.

[Sam] And straight from Moscow.

[Sam] I feel good about this one.

[Sam] Introducing...

[Sam] Ladies and gentlemen, this is some inappropriate social satire.

[Sam] Oh, goddamnit!

[Sam] Okay.

[Sam] This isn't as awful as I thought.

[scoffs]

[scoffs] Did you try to look for it?

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

[screams]

[screams] She's gonna bite me!

[Sheila] I do.

[Sheila] If you need fur, I know a guy.

[shouts]

[shrieks]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs] I really have to.

[sighs] The good luck present I made you.

[sighs] We're busy.

[sniffs, sighs]

[softly] Okay.

[speaking Russian]

[Stacey] Grab! Grab and let go!

[Stacey] We weren't supposed to show our faces!

[Stan Bush's "Dare" playing]

[Tammé and Debbie screaming]

[Tammé groans]

[Tammé grunts]

[Tammé snaps]

[Tammé] Mama said no!

[Tammé] No, I know I seen you.

[Tammé] Oh! Oh! Oh!

[Tammé] Yeah, I did.

[toilet flushes]

[Tommy] No, no.

[whines]

[whooping]

[woman 1] Shake that booty, Welfare Queen!

[woman 2 speaking Russian]

[woman 2] Welfare Queen!

[woman] Come on! Get back in there!

[woman] Come on! Get back in there!

[woman] Oh, my God!

[woman] Why did you bring an actress whore to a sacred rite of passage?

[women cheering and shouting]

[women grunting]

[yelling]

[yelling]

[yelling]

[yells]

[yells]

[yells]

[yells]

♪ And dream of all your life ♪

♪ And the chances you've earned ♪

♪ And there's nowhere to turn ♪

♪ Because I'm in love With Cathy McGowan ♪

♪ Because I'm in love With Cathy McGowan ♪

♪ Dare! ♪

♪ Dare! Dare to believe you can survive ♪

♪ Dare! Dare to believe you can survive ♪

♪ Dare! Dare to keep all your dreams alive ♪

♪ Dare! Dare to keep all your dreams alive ♪

♪ Dare! There is a place where dreams survive ♪

♪ Everybody's trying to break Your spirit ♪

♪ GLOW ♪

♪ GLOW ♪

♪ GLOW, GLOW ♪

♪ GLOW, GLOW, GLOW ♪

♪ GLOW, GLOW, GLOW, GLOW ♪

♪ GLOW, GLOW, GLOW, GLOW! ♪

♪ GLOW, GLOW, that's the name ♪

♪ GLOW, GLOW, that's the name ♪

♪ GLOW, GLOW, that's the name ♪

♪ GLOW, GLOW, that's the name Women's wrestling is our game ♪

♪ GLOW! ♪

♪ Go, go, go, go! ♪

♪ Go! ♪

♪ Go! ♪

♪ Heaven only knows what you might find ♪

♪ I wear these glasses on my eyes One day I'll win the Nobel Prize ♪

♪ I will always remember this chair That window ♪

♪ I'm Britannica from the UK That's probably why I talk this way ♪

♪ I'm not in love with Juke Box Jury ♪

♪ I'm not in love with T T T Twiggy ♪

♪ I'm not in love with television ♪

♪ I'm not in love With Thank Your Lucky Stars ♪

♪ I'm not in love With the King's Road ♪

♪ If we play rough Please don't blame us ♪

♪ If we play rough Please don't blame us ♪

♪ If we play rough Please don't blame us ♪

♪ If we play rough Please don't blame us ♪

♪ If we play rough Please don't blame us ♪

♪ If we play rough Please don't blame us ♪

♪ It's calling you on to victory ♪

♪ It's time to take a stand ♪

♪ Like ready, steady, go ♪

♪ Like ready, steady, go ♪

♪ Moments ♪

♪ Our style is wild And you know you can't tame us ♪

♪ Our style is wild And you know you can't tame us ♪

♪ Our style is wild And you know you can't tame us ♪

♪ Our style is wild And you know you can't tame us ♪

♪ Our style is wild And you know you can't tame us ♪

♪ Our style is wild And you know you can't tame us ♪

♪ Ready, Steady, Go ♪

♪ Ready, Steady, Go ♪

♪ Ready, steady, go ♪

♪ Ready, Steady, Go ♪

♪ Ready, steady, go ♪

♪ Ready, Steady, Go! ♪

♪ Seems like it's been forever ♪

♪ She said ♪

♪ She said ♪

♪ The fire in your heart is growing ♪

♪ The power is there at your command ♪

♪ There are moments ♪

♪ There are moments you wait for ♪

♪ This is one of those moments ♪

♪ Well, all the things she said ♪

♪ Well, wasn't it fabulous? ♪

♪ Well, wasn't it fabulous? ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Women's wrestling is our game ♪

♪ Women's wrestling is our game ♪

♪ Women's wrestling is our game ♪

♪ Women's wrestling is our game ♪

♪ Women's wrestling is our game ♪

♪ You can fly, if you try ♪

♪ You remember all your life ♪

♪ I'm not in love with the radio ♪

♪ Looks like it's now or never ♪

♪ Sometimes when your hopes Have all been shattered ♪

♪ Well, all the things she said ♪