High Fidelity (2000) Soundboard Edit

About that guy making shotgun ammo off screen in the 14th century.

All I'm saying is, you have to allow for things to happen to people.

All right, we have a 9% chance of getting back together.

ALL: No!

And by this measure, I was having one of the best dates of my life.

And did I agree? And I said yes.

And I said, I haven't seen Evil Dead II yet.

And I was hoping you could help me understand why this keeps happening

And takes ages longer than it might seem.

And that gives her grace.

And the words of love I speak to you

And we'll keep on fighting Till the end

And you're asking us not to come to the party?

And, yes, I sort of got interested in someone else.

Anyway, me and Charlie, we didn't match.

At least, I think she did

Awful cooking smells.

Because all you're doing is forming a little unit.

Because there's never any problems.

Books, records, films, these things matter.

But could you take off for a while so I can get my stuff packed up?

But I'd like to believe that if she decided

But it feels, even to me, like I'm being intimate.

But now they've got something in common.

But really good.

But the word yet

But were you really expecting me to say yes?

Come on, dude.

Congratulations, Rob

Do you know that right after they recorded that song,

Erin! No, come here!

Excuse me

For that message you sent me last night.

Fuckin' asshole.

Full of stuff that'd make her happy

Good luck, goodbye.

Good, good. I mean, look

Great sense of humor about it,

Great. Great.

Hear your name and I'd start to cry

Hear your name and I'd start to cry

Hello, this is Charlie.

Hey, it's half past a monkey's ass. Let's go.

Hi.

How can someone who has no interest in music own a record store?

How could it get any worse than Laura with lan?

I believe when I fall in love with you

I can follow the path

I can say that.

I can see now I never really committed to Laura.

I can't believe you don't own this fucking record! That's insane!

I can't fire them

I can't meet you guys at the club tonight.

I don't know

I don't know what precisely Laura said,

I don't know, dude. That just seems kind of stupid

I don't know. I didn't think about it, really

I don't want this to be the last conversation we have.

I express regret, I say nice things about her,

I found, to my surprise, I had flunked out of school.

I gotta get some lyrics down on paper.

I guess she's happy.

I guess.

I mean, I've read books like Unbearable Lightness of Being,

I mean, Michael was such an asshole.

I met her a few days before Kevin did.

I own this store called Championship Vinyl.

I was just trying to cheer us up. So, go ahead.

I will be all right I will be all right

I'd wanted to meet ever since I was old enough to meet girls.

I'm all right, I suppose. Mom's not too bad.

I'm almost certain she has never met anyone named lan in her life.

I'm clear focused all around

I'm not gonna let that asshole come between me and a fuck.

I'm not telling you

I'm thinking...

I've got to go now, Bob. Okay, bye bye.

Ian.

In a minute. Couldn't you be any more obvious than that, Rob?

In my head.

Is it working out okay?

Is she all green and fuzzy and mossy?

It made sense to pool our collective loathing for the opposite sex,

It will be forever

It's a reference to a Chinese meal in Toronto

It's really fuckin' good.

It's really..

It's sentimental, tacky crap.

It's something else.

Janie Jones, Clash. From The Clash.

Just in the background somewhere.

Just kidding.

Just pretend like you're talking about someone else. It's okay

Just what is it?

Kraftwerk? Falco? Hasselhoff?

Laura, can I ask you one question?

Laura, I'm sorry

Leader Of The Pack

Less hard work.

Let me go do that, after I do something else that I have to go do.

Let's Get It On, Marvin Gaye, from Let's Get It On.

Let's love, sugar

Little Latin Lupe Lu. (CHUCKLES)

Look, can you call me at work?

MAN: (SINGING) It feels so good

MAN: I'm looking for a record for my daughter for her birthday.

Marie's a terrific woman.

No

Not a business strategy.

Nothin'. What kind of stuff are you into?

Now every time I go for the mailbox

Now your friends and your girlfriend

Now, I can see what we were really talking about,

Now, why would you sell it to me and not to him?

Number five with a bullet. Welcome.

Oh, I liked her right away.

Oh, is that so? I'd like a word with him, then.

Oh, no. You know what? I don't think I'm selling it this week.

Oh, well, you couldn't have been desperate to see it,

Oh, you do? Well, how about The Jesus and Mary Chain?

Oh, you never saw the cover, though. You just had that tape I made you.

Okay?

Okay. I'm feeling kind of basic today.

One moment they weren't there,

Ooh, baby I love your way

Or I can believe everything you say about me and end up hating myself.

Penny was great looking, and her top five recording artists

Relationships have become more sophisticated.

Right now, I just want to go home with you

Right. I'm not gonna see that movie

Rob, Top Five Musical Crimes

ROB: Go! Go!

ROB: Hey, Liz.

ROB: We went out for two years.

ROB: You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film.

See, that's not a nice way to play

She didn't make me miserable, or anxious,

She kind of half moans

She laughs with her entire body.

She was already a lawyer, but she worked for Legal Aid,

She's dry and self deprecating.

She's gone

Sleeping together is better.

So, have you tackled the Great Reorganization yet?

So, uh, where are you staying now?

Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast

Sugar

That I would try to touch her between her legs.

That's character.

That's our song!

That's the one with Cheryl Ladd on the cover

That's the worst fuckin' sweater I've ever seen. It's a Cosby sweater

The making of a great compilation tape,

The minute that you said good bye

The title track from the album of same name,

There's just no getting over you

There's no The at the front.

These people are ready for anything.

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done,

Turn it off, Barry!

Um, I'm gonna talk to you about whether or not

Until after they finish and we play the record.

We are all sensitive people

We both get it. We both relate.

We had that conversation

We have a good time, and we hate the same actors,

We're Sonic fucking Death Monkey

Well, fuck you, Rob!

Well, if you don't know,

Well, it just seems that you think it would be wiser

Well, think about it, Rob

What are you ever doing that can't be canceled?

What are you making now? 60, 70 a year?

What?

What's the point? It never goes anywhere.

When did you decide to get back with me, exactly?

When is this gonna stop?

White Light/White Heat, Velvet Underground.

Who could ever replace your charms

Whoo! Am I glad that's over.

Why am I doomed to be left?

Will not be replaced

With so much to give

Yeah. Wow. You know, I would love to hear them.

You bet. You can take this with you if you want.

You couldn't have been entirely unprepared like you said.

You don't have it? That is perverse.

You gotta wake up one mornin' As the sun greets the dawn

You know, like a Bruce Springsteen song.

You know, when you broke up with me, you broke up with me,

(CLICKS) (MUSIC STOPS)

(DOOR CLOSES) Hi, Mom.

(PHONE RINGING) What do you do?

Are you seeing anybody? Um, no, yeah

BARRY: Rob, phone

Bastard! Four.

Championship Vinyl. Oh, my God. You'd love it.

Come on! Get him, man!

Delivers? Delivers

Get him! (SHOUTING)

God answered my prayer I believe when I fall in love with you

He owns it. It's on Milwaukee... You'll find everything.

He's not worth it! Leave town!

Hello? ROB: Hey, Liz.

Hey, Rob. I just wanted to call and thank you

How are you doing? Me? Not good.

I'm an old friend of Alison's. And... What did you say your name was?

I've stopped all of that now. You were there this morning.

Is that it? Yeah

Ma'am? Can I get the check, please? Right away, sir.

My prayer With you it will be forever

No! No, hold up. Hold up.

No. Sort things out.

Rob. I'm still Laura.

So, are you in or out, Rob? I'm in. I'm in. I'm in.

So, uh, you live in Chicago now? I do.

Soul, trip hop, salsa... Ska, techno...

Talk to your woman. It was her idea

That way. Ah, so it is

Then I'm gonna go to work. And then what?

Took the morning off. Come on, Rob.

Uh, the Kinky Wizards. Nice

We're not there yet, Justin. I'm Vince

What is this? It's Vince and Justin.

What? That's a kick ass record.

What's your address? (DOOR SQUEAKING)

Which way are you going? That way. You?

While I was pregnant. No!

Who are you going to see? Nobody.

Who's Vince and Justin? Those little skate fuckers

with my hair dyed pink. You're harder.

Yeah. Yeah.

You maggots! Whoa, whoa! Toss it, man!

You should turn it up. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay.

You're living with the guy. Don't.

You're soaking. Yeah

...and have not, as of yet, repaid any of it.

'Cause I just can't wait till you write me or

(BARRY GROANS)

(C.D. CHANGER CLICKING)

(CHATTERING)

(CHEERING)

(CHEERING)

(CRYING)

(DIAL TONE)

(DOOR OPENING)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DRUMS PLAYING)

(HEAVY METAL MUSIC)

(JAZZ SAXOPHONE)

(LAUGHING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(PHONE RINGING)

(RINGING)

(SCREAMING)

(SINGING) Soarin' and borin'

(SINGING) We are the champions My friends

(SOUL MUSIC)

(THUNDERCLAP)