Ally McBeal (1997) - Season 5 Edit

A good time is just something l happen not to enjoy.

A handful ofgrease in her hair

A judge can't control who a woman can marry.

A lot of my patients lie.

A lot of people were worried, John. Including me.

A man can read that look, especially the apelike men.

A man like me ls dead in places

A mean, vicious woman

A person from one world can't date somebody from another?

A Superior Court judge trying to legislate who a woman can marry.

Acid reflux is a curse.

Actually, that's exactly what I came to say to you.

Actually, would you mind stepping in here?

After the case is over, you wanna date? Look at Glenn. What a clown.

Again, I just thought I'd offer. The draft is on your desk.

Again, l apologize for having to involve you both. I couldn't avoid it.

All because of his wanton, predatory. . .

All during discovery, he made sexual advances at me.

All I have to do is snap my finger.

All I need is a little toning. Just you wait and see.

All l was doing with Ms. Warner was trying to exploit a weakness.

All of the lonely nights Waiting for you to come

All right, carry on.

All right, quiet!

All right. Got it.

All the time.

All these racers and farm hands.

All those lonely lonely times

Allison, give me your tapered hand.

Allison.

Ally and Richard missed you. Perhaps Corretta did too.

Ally goes for damaged goods. She's damaged goods.

Ally, give me your hand.

Ally, I know life. And I know love.

Ally, is this the adult way to handle this?

Ally, it would be an adjustment for me, but I would be okay with it.

Ally, l

Ally, l

Ally, you're 31 , and it's just too reckless to be with a 28 year old?

ALLY: Just as l was about to personally compute his sperm count....

ALLY: l was getting worked up.

ALLY: l was really going

Ally?

Ally?

Ally's handled a lot of sexual harassment.

Am I being silly? lf so, I wouldn't be the first fool.

Am I in a crisis? This could be a really bad sign.

And as a result of this behavior?

And as far as bodyguards go, he's cute.

And for you to notice that so immediately. . .

And he said, "If what they feel is a fraction. . .

And he's a lawyer, so he's not that stupid, just a little misguided.

And I don't like you telling me how, when I meet a man, I check my breasts.

And I have made mistakes in my life That ljust can 't hide

And I have made mistakes in my life That ljust can 't hide

And I like you.

And I still love you. And I know we're not right for each other.

And I want it to be, it's just. . . .

And I'm not usually big on samplers.

And if it's strategy, anything goes?

And if we're gonna work together, I gotta get that out there.

And if you still think the Larrys of this world are right. . .

And if you take away someone's ability to find love, to have a family. . .

And in that second, l actually was attracted to her.

And it's just great to know you.

And l guess l never told you

And l have made mistakes in my life That ljust can 't hide

And l have made mistakes in my life That ljust can 't hide

And l realized people can become what they are in the eyes of others.

And maybe it would be really good for me, but

And not just as friends.

And once l get going on the dance floor. . . .

And part of a lawyer's strategy is to rile his opponent, disrupt her rhythm.

And perception is part of our business. That's a reality.

And she got this look. . . . I swear, it's like she wanted to kiss me.

And she loves this man. E pluribus costs.

And since we've done Frank, l thought tonight we'd do a little Elvis.

And somewhere out there. .

And that it was strange Glenn and everybody would forget my birthday.

And the message of the song, specifically to me?

And there are other fools out there. Bigger fools. Maybe some even here.

And we do. But underneath that, we want a guy who can beat up other guys.

And we win sometimes, and other times not.

And when l dance, l can get. . . .

And when the drummer starts Beating that beat

And with the right lighting, you're cuter.

And with this whole new prospect that there might not be a tomorrow

And you heard Mr. Fernwall admit it wasn't fair.

And you know where this line is?

And you walked out on that.

And you? Well, this life is your very first.

And you're a great guy. Would it be awkward for me at first? Absolutely.

And you've always had this intuition about my life.

And, Glenn, you're a great guy.

Another toast.

Any man who has his lady hot on the dance floor. . .

Anyway, l told you l'm not gonna go there.

Anyway, thanks for looking after her.

Are we an inferior gender?

Are you and Jenny gonna be able to work together?

Are you ready for the deposition?

Are you ready For this thing called love?

Are you suggesting you should lose your job for it?

Aren't you excited about our double date?

As a matter of fact. . . .

As a woman, l'm totally offended by Mr. Milbury's conduct.

As long as you're not looking for a notch on your belt.

As opposed to what? As opposed to never seeing each other again?

At your age, I looked for everything in a man. Now, I compartmentalize.

Attention, please. We have a birthday girl with us, Jenny Shaw.

Aware of the power one has to undermine the esteem of others.

Baby

Baby

Baby, you're the one That I really miss

BAILIFF: Case number 3 2 4 4 8. Stevenson versus Forester.

BAILIFF: Case number 3 2 6. Boring. I want the TV station one.

Basically. And how do l do that by defending a skirt chasing ape?

Because men no longer considered her a sexual object.

Because that's what happens

Because the one thing you and l will always have is honesty.

Believe that?

Better I should run, 'cause it might not be right tomorrow?

Boy, he's really gone.

Bringing your love to me

Business comes from socializing, parties where spouses attend.

But for you to try to fob me off on your best friend. . .

But he wouldn't just say, "Let's have dinner. "

But I do know something about relationships.

But I wait a million years Walk a million miles

But in the long run, you know Let me ask you a question.

But it's not wise to let him go uncontested either.

But it's the good ones, ones like Ms. Beckenworth. . .

But l guess that isn't it, and everybody just forgot

But l would never, l mean, without, unless Forget it.

But l'm outraged by the plaintiff's suggestion that because we're women. . .

But Larry, you know, he was a man.

But not too much to put off the women, right?

But part of you wants that little gumdrop stuck in your teeth.

But sometimes when we're alone together and talking quietly. .

But that's unconstitutional. Pursuit of happiness, e pluribus unum.

But the attraction is of the affair variety. There will be casualties.

But the ringer should be loud so the help can hear it.

But to entrust her with managing my money, that's different.

But to say that rises to harassment, making way for damages. . .

But what?

But with women, l found they have an innate predisposition to thinking:

But you consider the women. . . . Kimmy needed her mother to chaperone.

But you will tell the truth about this case, right?

But you're committed to the ideal that a woman is what she wears.

But your mistake was thinking l'd care.

Buzzing around like hornets.

By that time, the truth doesn't matter as much.

By the way, you strike me as the most honest person I've ever met.

CAGE: Oh. Mmm

Call me an oink, but l think he still loves her.

Call me crazy, but a 50 year old woman who trots around with boys. . .

Can I ask you one question? Assuming you do speak.

Can l help you?

Can l say something?

Carry on, then.

Carry on.

Certainly. Isn't she lovely? She's gor Gorgeous.

Christmas is nothing compared with Christmas Eve.

Claire, this is Glenn Foy, Ally McBeal.

Claire, you're suing the phone companies. Many of them, in fact.

Close our eyes and dream of owning oceanfront property.

Come on Robert Johnson Though we're worlds apart

Come on, let's go meet my new stepdad

Come on. Food's good. But since you brought it up. . .

Corretta is second chair. So off to court we go

Corretta, if you could come out? l'm going to address the office.

Corretta, let's go. John, welcome back. We'll discuss later.

Could you raise children with him?

Could you sit by a fire, talking about life. . .

Could you suspend activity with the burger?

Could you tell us how this is relevant, Raymond?

COURT OFFICER: Miss. OTOMS: What?

Cry a million tears

Customers wouldn't be comfortable with her dating a younger man?

Cute.

Did I mention he graduated from Yale?

Did the defendant ever get physical with you?

Did you ever consider that we'd start spending the night together?

Did you hear? Glenn and Jenny just got back together.

Did you know that frankfurters are made of intestines?

Did you strip naked for a seminude layout?

Did you suffer any damages as a result of this solicitation?

Didn't change my life. But it wasn't terrible, I admit that.

Didn't you, Jenny?

Dinner? How about you, me, Jenny and Thin Mint?

Do I strike you as a person capable of the whole truth?

Do you ever think of me as. . .?

Do you know it reminds me of frankfurters?

Do you think that's appropriate talk?

Do you think you could come off Homo sapien?

Don 't come from me and you lt comes from up above

Don 't feel nothing ljust feel cold

Don't ask me. Why are you two not looking at each other?

Don't fence it.

Don't you "bygones" me, damn it!

Don't you all have a massive deposition tomorrow on your class action suit?

Don't you love the band? They're gorgeous, aren't they?

Down in Louisiana Where the alligators grow so mean

E ticket? Hit me.

Elaine, it's Jenny's birthday. Could you sing at the bar?

Elton John is in the bar, and we're stuck up here preparing for trial.

Especially in today's volatile market.

Especially where logic is your stated goal. I love Tim Boyle.

Especially women who dress to accentuate their beauty.

Even if he bags groceries, he's the one I choose to be with.

Every Friday night, we'd roll into a different fairground. . .

Every time you walk in the room, she does the head thing. She looks down.

Everybody knows. Richard had an open house after he took it over

Everybody said it was a shame

Everything is sweet

Exactly.

Excuse me. The clerk just called.

Excuse us for one second. Jenny?

Fear of Flirting

Fine, then. Think what you want, but l want her to go out with a good guy.

Fired? You said they were making you managing partner.

First dates. Boom. Friends calling friends. Boom, boom!

First of all, to the ladies for looking beautiful.

First of all, you need to calm down. Second, we cannot lose on purpose.

First time you guys slept together.

First up. . . . Where is everybody? It's past 9:00. John, isn't it past 9?

First, a reminder. Ling's television show begins airing today. . .

Fixing your hair, putting on a pretty dress.

For carnal togetherness? Let him at least know it's coming.

For me to risk hurting her, it'd have to be for a greater emotional good.

For someone so open minded, do you even care to hear my side of the story?

For the first time, l truly understand what l was.

For their sake, if not Sarah Warner's, let's dial the code of conduct. . .

For you? Well, l have a test for that, and answer me honestly.

For your own clarity, you should be clear that Jenny and l. .

Forget lawyers treating their learned brothers and sisters with respect.

Forgive me, Your Majesty, I suffer from acid reflux.

Frances. One second.

Free fall with the transitional boy. It's true love's way.

Funny how Jenny's name keeps coming up when you and I are alone.

Funny how we keep ending up alone.

Gerard Billow knows Nancy Gower's past. They both love each other.

Gerard knows all about my past.

Gerard?

Get a spare minute, and we ponder the fixed rate versus the variable.

Get me water.

Get these musicians in here. I'll listen for myself. That's a cut.

Getting ready to leave, huh?

Give me your hand

Glenn, l'm older. Could you permit me to be wiser for one second?

GLENN: A monopolistic phone company. Taxi!

GLENN: Look, you're going down.

Glenn.

Gonna get you, girl From this illusion

Gonna save your heart

Gonna set this dance alight

Good

Good night, cute boy.

Good night, Glenn.

Good night.

Good night.

Good.

Got it.

Got it.

Great, l'll tell Jenny. She'd love it.

Guilt is stopping you from pursuing Ally, and. . .

Guys can tell when girls are interested. I can tell you like me

Hair and face I don't touch, except for the eyebrows

Half the people who wed divorce because they cling to time honored illusions:

Hard to tell. Could be 'cause I don't care.

He

He argued that the court should witness the demeanor of the plaintiff.

He had the frequency changed. Here, use mine.

He likes to rattle women by playing the Neanderthal card. Don't bite.

He nails that beat With a syncopated rhythm with a

He once referred to me as sexy right in open court. He would

He represents so many things l want in a man, and he'd be a great father.

He sought refuge there. He left me a note that said he was leaving.

He thinks you still love me because of the song.

He told me he'd had a dream that we were doing karaoke together.

He told me that he loved me deeply. . .

He was asking my permission to date you.

He was good. He didn't even waive his right to be a pig. . .

He was the first to ask me to tune his skin flute. He actually said that.

He won't want a woman who sleeps with every Tom, Dick and Larry Harry.

He would openly compliment my clothing in front of the jury.

He's a dink.

He's a kid, Mom. Why are you with him, for God's sake?

He's an undercover policeman working on a sting.

He's getting ready to tour or something. He's trying out material.

He's getting ready to tour or something. He's trying out material.

He's hitting one of mine.

He's jumping out of walls while l'm on the toilet.

He's missing. He left a note saying not to worry.

He's never left before. Maybe he's having a breakdown.

He's still there.

Heavy eyebrows translate to higher sperm count.

Hello, little Jenny, you're lovely.

Hello. I'm Claire Otoms.

Hello. Is this seat taken?

Hello. When do we start our depositions?

Here I have a boring little man with a boring little case about defective wax.

Here they are.

Here we go. Time is my money.

Hers is undermined by her dating a 20 year old.

Hey

Hey, guys.

Hey, Jenny.

Hey, John.

Hey! Hey!

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hi. What's up?

His word is he'd be okay with it.

Hole?

How about a 50 year old man and a 22 year old woman?

How can I get to the mother? There's gotta be a way.

How can it make sense to bring me in on the eve of trial?

How can you tell that I like you?

How did you know l went? lt was last second.

How do you know about my hole?

How many lawyers could scare the phone giants?

How old are you?

How will you feel if he were to kiss me, or ?

How? Find a guy who plays Pop Warner? Maybe you could fix me up.

How's it been working with Jenny so far?

However, likening the annoyance to the leaf blower. . .

However, our justice system does provide for second chances. . .

Hurry up and play.

I adore the young. They say that youth is wasted on the young.

I ain 't no porcupine Take off your kid gloves

I almost kissed him today. Glenn.

I am a fairly attractive woman, and l have fertile eggs.

I am an automobile aficionado.

I am totally with Glenn

I appreciate your opinion, but allow me to decide who l want to be with.

I became so self conscious, l couldn't perform as a lawyer.

I came to hire this firm. This place specializes in sexual harassment law.

I can do that.

I can excite younger women, but I can't fulfill them.

I can pick it up from where I sit.

I can't be sure, but I think that my client just called me a fool in court.

I can't believe we won in court. Can you?

I can't get her out of my mind. I want to tell her everything about me.

I can't say l recall a single race, but what l do remember vividly. . .

I choose not to be with somebody who loves somebody else.

I coughed. I got something stuck up in my throat.

I could be wrong, but you were reaching out for money, weren't you?

I could not move.

I could tell people you're ugly, but how do they know I'm telling the truth?

I did that not to convey any interest. . .

I did.

I didn't give it to him. So much for your little theory.

I do. Up close, you're really cute.

I don 'tjust behold everybody as my partner, my friend, my colleague.

I don't give it to people I don't know. So I'll show you. . .

I don't have a problem with you guys going out. . .

I don't have anybody specific in mind.

I don't know. . . .

I don't know. Why?

I don't like to admit this, though I'm not ashamed of it. . . .

I don't mean to suggest love can be bought

I don't need special protection. I don't want it.

I don't really know Timothy Boyle.

I don't really turn to liquid. If anything, I become more

I don't think either of us is getting any tonight.

I don't wanna go out with him, so you don't have to worry.

I don't want this case to be over. It's a cash cow

I explained to Claire the importance of this deposition.

I feel I already know you, if Jenny is any indication.

I feel sort of like an old soul. I've been here before.

I find myself becoming increasingly attracted to you.

I fired my last lawyer. The judge isn't going to give me another continuance.

I forgot about the merits.

I got a whole lot of kisses Baby, you've been missing

I got myself together Now I'm ready to sing

I got myself together Now l'm ready to sing

I got myself together Yeah, now I'm ready to sing

I got myself together Yeah, now l'm ready to sing

I guess l'm just curious why you've trusted all of this to freckles.

I guess, now.

I have a lot of women lawyer friends who litigate. They can take it too.

I have a pretty good idea when somebody's not right for me.

I have no doubt that it would be fun.

I have no idea. I'm gonna see him this morning.

I have plans.

I have the draft of. . .

I have to have that woman. You catch the wattle on her?

I have waxed many vehicles. Their product is defective.

I haven't even admitted that to my therapist.

I hired you because you're great. I'll deny ever having said it.

I just felt silly, and that it was wrong for us. . .

I just needed a place to escape. I thought you were out.

I keep thinking Frances is speaking to us sometimes. You, actually.

I keep thinking Frances is speaking to us sometimes. You, actually.

I kissed him. Raymond.

I know it's none of my business, but you referred to your life as "Ioveless. "

I know Jenny has stressed this, but I want you to hear it from me.

I like him. You know, l think he's cute.

I live in a colonial home. I love the word "colonial. " Don't you?

I live in a supposedly peaceful neighborhood, Your Honor.

I look forward to girl talk sessions about d****s, clothes, guys. . .

I lost that case due to my rattled, scattered demeanor.

I love foreheads, and you have the sexiest forehead.

I love those qualities in a person. I'd want to date her.

I made a promise to myself that when I die. . .

I may have rattled Sarah Warner, but part of her liked it

I mean, it might be a little hard to call him "Dad" . . .

I mean, Judge Judy makes seven figures a year.

I missed you every time l opened the freezer and saw the frozen peas.

I most certainly did. Those wretched people called me over and over. . .

I must tell you, l've been a crook. You need to know.

I need you so desperately Waiting for you to come

I need you to limit your testimony to the calls from the phone company.

I need you.

I never said that l make complete sense.

I only get it when I'm nervous. It affects my voice. It's horrible.

I owe you. I'll be right back with the file.

I paid for law school by doing men makeovers.

I planned an outdoor birthday party for over 200 people.

I prepped her by phone. She's been at her summer house.

I pulled her even tighter.

I read it in class. If you want to be a writer, you have to reveal yourself.

I remember how devalued l felt in that moment.

I said to Glenn l thought you were cute. I never. . . .

I scammed older men. I pretended to be in love with them.

I see a lot of babies, but those just take my breath away.

I see. And what you're really about is world peace.

I so prefer the deaf to the blind.

I still love you, Jen.

I suppose that good things can come in younger packages, so we'll see.

I swim the deepest sea Climb the highest hill

I think Glenn wants you to date me.

I think Judge Turanball was trying to protect potential victims.

I think l should sing. You look good when you sing up there.

I think perhaps l realized that what l was looking for. . .

I think she likes you.

I think you and l come from different worlds.

I thought about last night, and l'm willing to wait as long as you want.

I thought it was ridiculous too.

I told him there just aren't a lot of songs like "Let's Just Be Friends. "

I understand. Thank you again.

I understand. Which is an obstacle. But

I Want Love

I want love and everything, but. . .

I wanted to go further last night.

I was arrested, and as part of my sentence. . .

I was just looking into his eyes, and I think that. . . .

I was just thinking about taking a few days off.

I was just thinking, remember the first time you and I actually met?

I was kidding. It would take a sense of humor to live in Detroit.

I was showing her how l kissed the plaintiff. But as it was, she's cute.

I was the bride. Forgive me. He called me a rock then too.

I was trying to remember the people. . . .

I was wondering if you had an intuition that something was in the cards for me.

I wasn't prepared for it, that's all. You're such a little thing.

I watched you sing to her. I know when somebody loves somebody.

I watched you watch her at dinner.

I welcomed his fat, horny tongue all the way back to my esophagus.

I went back to some of those fairgrounds.

I will. Oh, my God!

I wish l could offer something more complicated. I can't.

I won't ask. I'm just gonna take the bench and look stunning.

I won't ask. I'm just gonna take the bench and look stunning.

I wonder if I'm missing something when my second and third chairs. . .

I wouldn't expect you to be in such a good mood after losing.

I, uh. . . .

I. . . .

I'd question his judgment as well.

I'd recommend that he go away to a spa for a week. . .

I'll go to his house tomorrow and check, okay?

I'll just say this. I'm not great at being genuine, since

I'm a judge, I shouldn't have to walk around.

I'm afraid that he's gonna think l'm one of those. . .

I'm confused.

I'm fine, Glenn. I'm not easily intimidated.

I'm getting married.

I'm glad you're back. I just wish l knew why you went away.

I'm gonna tell you about this so you understand what l'm talking about

I'm guilty. Now, let's get started. How you doing?

I'm her ex. Could you be friends with your lover's ex?

I'm here! lsn't this exciting? And what a historic old room this is.

I'm in the next courtroom over. My chambers is on this side.

I'm just tired, and l need a few days to rest, okay?

I'm no good live

I'm no psychiatrist, but usually when people act out. . .

I'm not comfortable with. . . .

I'm not messing with you.

I'm not sure I want a makeover, but I have a friend who is curious

I'm not sure l deserve one.

I'm not sure.

I'm not the person l used to be. I promise you that.

I'm on my way.

I'm practical.

I'm really not this insecure, it's just, at the moment. . . .

I'm saying that I live for tomorrow. My whole world is about the future.

I'm so happy that you're mine

I'm so sorry. I never meant

I'm sorry you had to be involved, but she wouldn't take the ring.

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. We were convinced you'd try to strike again.

I'm standing nose to nose with a gorgeous woman, who smells good.

I'm sure Glenn will second chair.

I'm sure it's possible.

I'm sure my friend would say that's ridiculous.

I'm surprised to see you predisposed toward fun.

I'm Todd Paradiseo, general manager of WGBD, the station that

I'm told you have this amazing little dwarf here called The Croissant.

I'm wading out this muddy water Been stranded in the wasteland

I'm way past wanting to be together. But I still love you.

I'm your date. Stick up for my ears instead of Jenny's.

I've been down this road

I've been down this road

I've been in between relationships for, you know, ever.

I've been searching my soul tonight I know there's so much more to life

I've been searching my soul tonight I know there's so much more to life

I've been searching my soul tonight l know there's so much more to life

I've been searching my soul tonight l know there's so much more to life

I've considered it.

I've found myself, Nelle. I knew l eventually would.

I've got a good mind to use that as a deterrent: "Please call back. . .

I've studied up more for urine tests.

I've turned the ringer up, because my hearing is. . . . My hearing is wonderful!

If he starts to grind up there, l'll vomit.

If he's intimate with a woman, she's going to discover the truth.

If it means harassing your opponent, committing a sexual battery even. . .

If l can inspire girls to go to law school. . .

If l'm gonna be your lawyer, l won't be your puppet.

If Mr. Boyle is kind, if he makes her laugh, if she's attracted to him. . .

If not out of conscience, then how about leadership?

If she wouldn't interrupt. Which is what she did that day.

If that's not adult, then goo, goo, goo. Goodbye.

If the answer's "no," would you object to me dating your mother?

If the car fits, drive it.

If we were to go out, either of two things could happen:

If you ask me, you seem like you'd be great together.

If you change your mind I'm the fiirst in line

If you come back home

If you don't tell us how you've been harmed, I might dismiss the case.

If you knew the time, why didn't you just tell me?

If you love him, I'm happy for you.

If you want to go out with Ally, you can.

If you're not happy, pretend that you are. It's the trappings.

If you're not interested, fine. But don't say no out of maturity.

Ijust never took the time

In fact, he's the best man I know, and you might be the best woman, so. . .

In fact, l've sometimes flirted slightly with male jurors.

In Guess Who 's Coming to Dinner, Spencer Tracy didn't want. . .

In her whole life, two.

In the alternative, we order the defendant to pay $620,000.

In the matter of Warner v. Milbury, we find in favor of the plaintiff. . .

In the meantime, stay out of my office.

In the nude. He said l had a talent with the mike. It was phallic.

In your closing, you'll no doubt be calling me a "chauvinistic oaf. "

Is it gonna be a long speech or. . .?

Is it possible. . .

Is it the whitener in your toothpaste?

Is it your testimony, sir, your decision not to invest with Braxton/Moses. . .

Is that a reason to ?

Is that what you want?

Is this the most insane idea, to try to work together?

Is this true?

Isn't it disrespectful to just move in?

Isn't this exciting? It's like being on TV.

Isometrics. Increases the blood flow. It's an anti aging technique.

It actually dulled it. Their wax made the color duller than before.

It always got you.

It could be another spa, it could be he's tired. . . .

It involved a long standing client, which l also lost.

It is imperative that they trust our judgment.

It is true. I don't wanna sleep with Glenn.

It keeps him from marrying the woman he loves.

It means she wants to ski, but she's afraid to grab the rope.

It said he was safe. He's probably at some Club Med

It seems like when we're together, we do nothing but fight, but l love you.

It was a gut feeling, I admit, but when you're about to plunk down $6 million. . .

It was a transparent reference to a sexual act.

It was an attempt to reduce me in the eyes of the jury.

It was intentional.

It was sacred, Richard. A man's hole is his temple.

It was unacceptable.

It was your favorite part of a Friday night.

It wouldn't be that. I promise.

It wouldn't bother me, except I enjoy them. They're wonderful.

It wouldn't work out and that would be awkward because we work together. . .

It's 7:00 And I wanna rock

It's 9: 1 5. Yeah, my stomach just growls for a Whopper.

It's a dreadful annoyance. I come home and the telephone nearly assaults me.

It's a little unusual to meet someone and feel. . .

It's a private thought.

It's a terrible thing, trying to relax in the comfort of your own home. . .

It's a war. And you know what? l can take it.

It's all about winning. If you do, you're successful

It's all right, dear. You're lovely. You are lovely.

It's Capelini v. Bugle.

It's fine.

It's Friday night.

It's getting late Have you seen my mates?

It's just a matter of time Before you make up your mind

It's just that l think Glenn is a boy, a cute boy.

It's just, when you practice law with somebody you love

It's mine.

It's nearly 9:00. Could we resume this on Monday?

It's not who you are, so l can only assume. . .

It's obvious whoever raised her had to have a marvelous set of hangers.

It's often a very mysterious journey.

It's one thing to admire tradition, it's another to cling to it.

It's only about sex. About welcoming his little thing into the canal. . .

It's opened up the same Pandora's box.

It's something in John's note, reading between the lines.

It's subtle, but on a sunny day the deficit is detectable.

It's the trappings, sometimes.

It's too soon.

It's up to the judge to make them feel stupid

It's up to the president to do that. Separation of powers.

It's very hard to do. I know you.

It's where a lot of women look first.

It's your big witness. Your case depends on her testimony.

Jen. . . .

Jenny

Jenny

Jenny was good in court. I haven't really checked Glenn out yet.

Jenny, can I steal you a second?

JENNY: Hello. Well, hi. What?

JENNY: Look at them. They're like little kids.

JENNY: Mom.

Jenny.

Jenny.

Jenny. Have you been crying?

Jenny. How you doing? Ever see those old, wrinkled people on the street?

Jenny's gut. I've never known it to be wrong.

John is going through something. He'll be back.

John, we both know what's going on here.

John, we're senior partners. If they can't respect you, that leaves me.

John, you know what? You're not merely my friend, are you?

John?

John.

John.

John. John.

John's gone. Don't ask me where, but he's gone.

Judge Ling

Judge Ling, this is meant to be.

Judge Ling. I like it.

JUDGE: lt was not an abuse of discretion to issue a restraint. . .

JUDGE: You've reached a verdict? We have, Your Honor.

Judgment for the defendant. That's a cut.

Juries love to whack the rich and powerful.

Jury's back.

Just a little smile here or there. Nothing big.

Just a minute!

Just close your eyes and pretend you're with the man you love.

Just go with it.

Just relax.

Just to have you near me

Kidding. Did you?

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your service. We're adjourned

Larry walked out without saying goodbye. Men don't do that.

Larry.

Last night, l got this sudden hit. . .

Late for court, Richard.

Later, Glenn.

Let it heal.

Let me speak as if l was your friend. You really have a problem

Let yourself go, Allison.

Let's all take a deep breath and say, "We're gonna be in a good mood. "

Let's go. Let's go. We got a cab. We got a cab. We got a cab.

Ling, you've been summoned by the Chief Justice of the Superior Court.

LING: You have a legitimate complaint, ma 'am.

Listen, if you love this boy

Listen, thanks. You saved my life today.

Listen. . . .

Listen. I enjoyed the kiss, by the way.

Little things l should Have said and done

Longing to hold you tight

Look at the way those clothes hang off her. She's lovely.

Look at this paneling. It goes so well with this frock. I'm glad I wore it.

Look, Glenn.

Look, I couldjust laugh I suppose, but I cry

Look, it's obvious. You'd like to date Glenn. . .

Look, let's have dinner tonight. Can we do that?

Looking for love All the wrong places

Lost and Found

Lot of talent here, Simon. Got your soft serve, your thin mint.

Love her.

Love her.

Love is gonna win Love is gonna win

Love is the grandest of choices.

Made the alligators look tame Polk salad Annie

Make up your mind It's just a question of when

Makes me want to move my body Yeah yeah yeah

Makes you just want to quit the law and breed. Ling Woo, birth mother.

Making advances on opposing counsel for the purpose of harassing her.

Married?

Maybe he loved somebody deeply who couldn't love him back.

Maybe if I go dance near her, she'll pick up my scent.

Maybe if they'd smoked, they never would have become old.

Maybe it is.

Maybe l didn 't hold you

Maybe, in part. I just needed some time to take measure of a few things.

Me not wanting to go out? Did that spur it on?

Me? And what is she saying?

Me? And what is she saying?

Melanie barked during sex. Only freakish women are drawn to me.

Members of the jury, this concludes your service. We're adjourned

Men are drawn to beautiful women. You want to use me for bait. Ling too.

Men like you don't suddenly become pensive. Something's wrong.

Mess yourself up. Sprout a pimple. Anything to reveal a hint of character.

Mine. Raymond's being sued for sexual harassment. Big shock.

Missed you too.

Money. There, you've heard it.

Most like to make the other guy feel unprepared or overwhelmed.

Mostly about Glenn. He's my best friend.

Mr. Billow, this woman is a con artist.

Mr. Milbury represented the defendant, l represented the plaintiff.

Mr. Milbury wasn't the first opposing attorney to find you attractive?

Mr. Pax, I have a problem.

Ms. McBeal?

Ms. Shaw, don't you see the defendant's point of view?

Ms. Shaw? Richard Fish. It's nice to meet you.

My belt is all talk. You know that better than anybody

My case, Gower v. Massachusetts. . .

My character wasn't growing enough.

My father once told me that every time I screw up, I pop a freckle. And look.

My love is your love Now and forever

My mistake.

My mother used to complain that men considered her a sexual object.

My old man 's drunker Than a barrelful of monkeys

My sister looks cute ln her braces and boots

My uncle used to say, "Laughing and riding a bicycle. . .

Nancy, will you marry me?

Neither does Ally, does she?

Never mind your behavior. In business? Ruthless. That's praise.

Never occurred to me, but the danger would be. . .?

No

No

No judge can do that, even superior ones.

No judicial branch should get involved in domestic relations.

No, but telling me he polished the pink helmet with me in mind. . .

No, don't do that. He'd only enjoy it.

No, he isn't. You said he couldn't hit a note

No, if you want to date Raymond, there's nothing wrong with that

No, it isn't.

No, it's all up to Jenny now. She's a good closer, right?

No, l could use some time off, actually

No, l'm saying l could be okay with it, ultimately. I'm asking, could you?

No, no. I'm not afraid, I'm just. . . .

No, that was just an expression.

No, we won't.

No.

No.

No.

No. I miss you too.

No. I probably wasn't being fair. But my gut told me, and still does. . .

No. No, we didn't forget your birthday.

No. No!

No. The problem is that women are so superior on the relationship level. . .

Nobody said, "You can't love who you want to love. "

None.

Not a joke.

Not from you, l didn't. I would never.

Not that l'm trying to change your mind, but if we. . . .

Not with him watching.

Nothing.

Nothing. We're having a girls' night out, and we thought you might want to join.

Now don't forget that.

Now I know I can shine a light To fiind my way back home

Now I know I can shine the light To fiind my way back home

Now l know l can shine a light To fiind my way back home

Now l know l can shine the light To fiind my way back home

Now l know what it feels like.

Now let's just go drink and not panic.

Now you have to do great things to be able to strip.

Now, as a whole, they're a dumb sex.

Now, Gower v. Massachusetts. It's mine. I'm a lawyer, in case anyone forgot.

Now, l'm late for court.

Now, run along. Go make yourself interesting.

Objection!

Of all the betrayals!

Of course not.

Oh God, they've got a new singer here? I can't keep up.

Oh, and now you're crying. Why?

Oh, baby, if you bring your love Back to me

Oh, baby, yeah

Oh, baby, yeah

Oh, God, Ally. I don't want to end up with Raymond Milbury.

Oh, God, there they are.

Oh, God! l sound like my therapist.

Oh, I believe I am ready For what love has to bring

Oh, I believe I am ready For what love has to bring

Oh, l believe l am ready For what love has to bring

Oh, l believe l am ready For what love has to bring

Oh, mark on his turf. There's a romantic turn of phrase.

Oh, no.

Oh, right.

Oh, this is. . . . This is me. 543.

Oh, yeah. Show them the note. They'll call in the FBl.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. . .yeah.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Um. . . .

Oink.

Okay

Okay then.

Okay, first up. Anybody seen the Biscuit?

Okay, look, l. . . . Well, obviously, l. . . .

Okay, then. Give me your wisdom.

Okay, up until now, l haven't wanted to sound crazy with you. . .

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. So, sorry again.

OLD LADY: You stinker!

OLD LADY: You stinker!

OLD LADY: You stinker!

OLD LADY: You stinker!

Older attorneys attack my youth, blue bloods refer to me as a "swell guy" . .

On his assessment.

One of us has to move. One would think it'd be the gentleman.

One other thing.

One reason for that, we take each other at our word.

One. 31 .

Ooh, you're so tender I must surrender

Otherwise, he'll move on.

OTOMS: I'm Claire Otoms, and I'm thrilled to meet you.

Our case hinges on that?

Our cases need to be interesting or people won't watch.

Our lips were three inches apart, just like this.

Ow!

Ow!

Part of a lawyer's case is presentation.

Part of crime and punishment is rehabilitation.

People have privileges, not rights. They're lost when they violate the law.

Please.

Polk salad Annie

Prime rib later. Little drummer boy

Put on a sexy dress, do your hair

Quite as good as l should have

Quite as often as l could have

Raymond, if you say that on the stand, we lose. You have a problem.

Raymond, you ready for the big depo?

RAYMOND: Why would a jury award money just because phone companies ?

Really cute. But I have no designs, okay?

RICHARD IN STEREO: You're a senior partner. Need l explain the concept...

Richard, could l see you for one second?

Richard, let's just move along.

RICHARD: She's already sworn in? Last night.

Richard! Aren't you concerned that he just takes off?

Right here in these walls with the people l love.

Right, yeah.

Right.

Romance would have begotten a different expression.

Saturday night's all right All right, all right

Saturday Saturday Saturday night's all right

Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday Saturday

Say you want love

See how l'm holding you? You could easily pull away.

See? It feels real. Under a shirt, it looks completely natural.

Seemed surreal at times

She deserves to lose. He's 22. He's a sex toy.

She didn't pull away, she just stared back at me

She has two favorites: Sinatra and Elvis.

She hated it. One day l came home from school and found her crying.

She keeps the ring. Next

She's a good dancer, Jenny. I bet she's a pretty decent rattle.

She's being followed. She'll be arrested on the airplane.

She's got supple creases at the nape. Maybe I can lure her into John's hole.

She's not inclined to date somebody she doesn't see a real future in.

She's suing you personally. You could lose your house. Worse, your wardrobe!

She's wonderful.

Should l love John Cage?

Shout!

Similarly, in law, it's get your verdict.

Since marriage has a 50/50 chance of success

Since the world changed in September, I read everybody's having sex.

Since you're helping Jenny. . . .

Size two? Such a booming voice. You caught me unawares.

So anyway, to answer your question. . .

So congratulations. You tried a great case.

So he's smart, cute and kind.

So it isn't smooth always. It doesn't mean it isn't right.

So it surprises me when you say you're not attracted to Glenn. . .

So it's all about fear?

So it's possible he's an intelligent and mature young man?

So l came in here to pretend to call off the double date. . .

So l employed it as a strategy in trial. Every lawyer has some trick.

So l kissed her. It was a one time thing, and she didn't complain

So l pulled her closer. We were just like this.

So l wasted all that emotion in court?

So let's open presents. That'll lighten things up.

So much for John Cage.

So to be rebuffed, you've hurt him. Go to him. Tend to his need.

So we have to finish our deposition in court.

So we'll go.

So what, she filed a complaint? I was reaching out to someone less fortunate.

So whatever destructive urges l have, l'm facing them alone.

So why aren't you a couple?

So you wanna ?

So you're still saying no.

So, this man, he's significant?

So.

So. . . .

So. . . .

So. . . .

Some days I think It's all a dream

Some of y'all never been down South.

Something like, "The real fools are the ones. . .

Sometimes a woman misses the trappings of a relationship. Dance with me.

Sometimes cases turn on something other than the merits?

Sometimes I get these long distance solicitations during supper.

Sometimes, things are simple.

Sooner or later Girl, you've got to give in

Sooner or later Love is gonna get you

Sooner or later Love is gonna let ya

Sooner or later Love is gonna win

Sorry.

Splash some perfume around. Enjoy the anticipation of it.

Statements like that convince me that l was missing nothing.

STEVENSON: It cost 6,000 dollars. Look at her, look at you.

Stop telling me who I'm attracted to.

Suppose you fall in love. What will that do to us?

Sure, okay.

Sure.

Swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but?

Talking of which, Glenn, I see you share my love of intestines.

Technically, I did ask you out. And, technically, you never answered.

Tell him to try it. If he doesn't get immediate results, he can forget it.

Tell me, if a woman like me were to find you attractive, powerful. . .

Tell me, what do you think of me and Jenny?

Thank you very much! Thank you!

Thank you, Mr. Rohrer. Nothing further.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I like to think of myself as honest.

Thanks for stopping, guy. Hey, girls. Got a cab. Let's go.

Thanks for the idea. If she hadn't gotten a present. . . .

Thanks for trusting me.

That image is not commensurate with the one my client wants to project.

That is ridiculous!

That people should have everything in common and should be the same age.

That she's beautiful. There's a prejudice in this country.

That was Katharine Hepburn, by the way.

That woman is the governor. She's offering you a judgeship.

That would make it okay to date Ally, and that's what he wants.

That's a claim of nuisance. The plaintiffs may re file the suit. . .

That's another thing I don't like about younger women.

That's fine.

That's great.

That's Jenny's mother?

That's John's home away from home, and he's moved out!

That's my problem.

That's not true, John. You're just being sensitive.

That's the other part of the bombshell.

That's the other part of the bombshell.

That's what's wrong. Women just see me as this GQ model pretty boy.

That's why l left. But as to why l came back?

The aisle is your plank, sir. If you choose to walk it, l won't stop you.

The boy is the transitional partner. . .

The case is pretty straightforward, so we should be okay.

The case was a personal injury suit. It was pretty routine

The court order says she can't even approach a man over 50.

The customer looks for someone who will safeguard his assets.

The defense wants its brokers to cast the impression of being logical.

The fact that you feel that way about Jenny. . .

The field is open.

The first is clothes, which is easy.

The gators got your granny Chomp, chomp, chomp

The judge has a ruling.

The judge will decide the fate of this case on the basis of that deposition

The jury was just drawn right in.

The last time, we started not to like each other. That's when it's wrong.

The man part is usually the letdown.

The older woman appreciates that the touch of a hand can be as intimate. .

The older woman finds this herself and shares it with her partner.

The older woman seeks what she lacks in a partner, not what she has in common.

The only way that 32. . .

The other day, you said friends can be lovers and lovers can be friends. . .

The perception needs adjustment. The institution of marriage is in ruins.

The person l really hate at the moment is me.

The phone companies are no doubt annoying with these pestering calls.

The places that I've been

The surprising thing is, your client does. That's why she's suing me.

The thing about Raymond is that we are all drawn to protectors.

The truth screams to me, Allison.

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Wagtail.

The whole bar heard it. "I do not wanna sleep with Glenn. "

The wrong ones can't hurt you. It's the right ones.

Then go with it. If it feels right today, go for it.

Then I'm okay with it. As long as it isn't just for a thrill ride.

Then l thought you didn't forget, and that's what this double date was about.

Then, all during the trial, he would ask witnesses:

There is no law against our world being dignified.

There lived a girl That l swear to the world

There should be questions and answers. They can't play off each other.

There, I said it. Is that a crime? To miss somebody you're totally over?

There. I said it.

There's a song that once spoke to me. I surely thought it spoke to Freud. . .

There's no better feather than to be hired to defend another lawyer.

There's no evidence Ms. Shaw didn't do her job well.

There's not one nice, funny, smart, decent looking guy?

There's this new attitude and it's "Why live for tomorrow? Why not now?"

These are two consenting adults, and they have rights.

These kids, do you think they're good lawyers?

They bring in these young lawyers. . . . It's more frat house than law firm.

They don't even rake their yards. They use those wretched leaf blowers.

They feel, to be managing partner, your significant other's part of the equation.

They have the feel and texture of muscles and body fat.

They just fire her for making the wrong choice. Call me crazy. . .

They like football.

They say they're not telling her who she can love.

They tend to run scared.

They were afraid to trust her

They won't let you wear purple.

They'd give me money, jewelry. We'd get engaged. . .

They'd swear you in today. You could start tomorrow.

They're not saying you're right, only that she didn't get hurt.

They're the killers.

Think you could so much as kiss me without ending up a puddle on the floor?

This better be good.

This court order is penalizing him.

This is a delicate conversation.

This is a past life thing?

This is a TV show in addition to a court.

This life of mine

This man had no intention of marrying you.

This seems like a very sexually charged office place.

This will just take a second. I wanna put you on TV.

This would only be a frolic.

Those wretched calls in the middle of my supper, Ally. . . .

Three weeks ago, l left this world of things.

Tim, my daughter, Jenny. Jenny, Ally, Glenn, Tim Boyle, my fiancé.

Time is of the essence

To friendship.

To have an open house in my royal breach?

To the conference room. I don't wanna walk in together.

Tomorrow, she's going to be more persuasive, less grand. . .

Treat people rotten enough, eventually somebody will put you on television.

Trial law, it's like going to battle.

True love can often be reduced to three anecdotal questions:

Trust your therapist now.

Trying to revive in myself the ability to rejoice in the company of others.

Uh, well. . . . That was. . . .

Uh. . . .

Um. . . .

Unbelievable! You're lip synching your response!

Until he realized the power of their feelings.

Unusual summation, but the jury seemed to embrace it.

Values. Bygones. I'd like to share with you, if I could, something. . . .

Very, very subtle. Biceps, triceps, pecs, glutes and shoulders.

VONDA SINGS: I've been down this road

VONDA SINGS: l've been down this road

Wait. Who? What do you ? Glenn Foy? What?

Walking the line That's painted by pride

Walking the line That's painted by pride

Walking the line That's painted by pride

Walking the line That's painted by pride

Wanna get a bellyful of beer

Was it me?

Wasted days and nights ln someone else's mind

Water. I need smarter contestants.

We are great together, just not as a couple. As friends, we're inseparable.

We came to this restaurant on one of our early dates.

We can dish it out, and we push buttons just as we get ours pushed

We could all do worse.

We danced to Vonda and the lkettes.

We did miss you.

We do the same kind of small claims cases. You wear your purple robe. . . .

We don't lie to each other. I don't have time for you to stumble along. . .

We have to go. She thinks it's for her.

We joke about him, but he seems like a pretty good guy, isn't he?

We just got. . . . Sorry.

We just have to learn each other's rhythms and we'll be fine.

We live in a litigious society, everyone running off to court. It's stupid.

We live in a society. Might makes right, winner takes all.

We need the 1 2 of you to reset those boundaries a little.

We really need you to tell us how you think you've been damaged.

We say we want an evolved, sensitive companion to share our feelings with.

We stand up. We pick ourselves up, we fight harder.

We talk about everything. As soon as we're a couple, we fight.

We thought it would be better if it were a surprise.

We went out, and, in fact, l did have a good time

We were arguing, and she started getting dismissive.

We were doing it pretty well before.

We were in a lake, and you wanted to water ski. . .

We'd just laugh.

We'd talk, and we'd laugh. We'd tell the most forgettable of stories.

We'll be here

We'll see you tomorrow.

We'll start locally, but I think it would have nationwide appeal.

We're adjourned.

We're gonna go back to the bar, and l have a special song for you.

We're in a bathroom.

We're in the business of getting people to give us their money.

We're the guys girls go out with until they grow up, meet the man they'll marry.

We've been on and off again so many. . . .

Well

Well, Allison, you're begging the assumption that love can be voluntary.

Well, at least he won't see her. Ally, tell him it's not a disaster.

Well, can we get him to turn it down?

Well, go home and do that.

Well, I don't. First impressions count for so much. And you don't make one.

Well, I guess confusion is a start.

Well, I hope you're on my side. Jenny, isn't he strapping?

Well, I think that. . . .

Well, it's just Glenn used to be your boyfriend.

Well, it's just that l find myself getting, you know.

Well, l'm open to dating. I'm single, l'm not seeing Glenn anymore.

Well, let's not exaggerate. But again, thank you for trusting me.

Well, once during a deposition he asked me to tame his meat weasel.

Well, perhaps.

Well, she better get here or

Well, thank you, Glenn.

Well, thank you.

Well, that's amazing.

Well, that's sort of what l kind of wanted to sort of talk about, kind of.

Well, the thing is, the trial starts tomorrow.

Well, this is how l had her.

Well, uh

Well, um. . . .

Well, with women you really can't push that button.

Well. . . .

Well. . . .

Well. . . .

Well. . . .

What about the people who know me ? Him. Won't they detect the fraud?

What are you doing in my office?

What are you two talking about?

What chink were you exploiting with my client?

What did it say?

What do you mean?

What does that mean?

What happened?

What he said was so beautiful and so fundamentally profound that. . . .

What is an oots?

What say you?

What sort of touch?

What was said to her, and what remains true:

What, I'm supposed to call him "Dad"? It's gross.

What?

What?

What?

What? Move along. Next up. Ticktock.

What's going on?

What's happened here?

What's happened?

What's the catch?

What's up?

What's wrong?

What's wrong? Did the court reverse its ruling?

Whatever the jury finds, it seems that I've won.

Whatever you're doing, your romantic triage system is too discriminating.

Whatever.

When a 50 year old woman is with a kid, it looks bad.

When he had his hands on my shoulders, l wanted him to kiss me.

When he had his hands on my shoulders, l wanted him to kiss me.

When l was 1 5, l wrote an extremely personal essay.

When l was a young boy, l used to race ponies at county fairs.

When l was in college, good looking guys didn't even look my way.

When l'd finished this emotional session. . .

When the guitar player starts playing

When the judge dismisses it, which he's going to do. . . .

When you get a break, can I talk to you?

When you get dressed for a trial, do you choose your clothes carefully?

When you say it, maybe. You're suing a station for a bad weather forecast?

When you use my name, you're mad. You can hit me.

When you use my name, you're mad. You can hit me.

When you're home and the phone rings. . .

Where do you live, Ally? Do you live in a colonial home?

Which means I need to pick the strongest of named plaintiffs.

Who is she?

Who is this man?

Why are you looking at Glenn?

Why are you lying to me? lf you like her, tell me.

Why are you with a 50 year old woman?

Why do you keep denying it? She still loves you, and you love her.

Why does it have to be complicated? Why not sleep with me. . .

Why don 't you sue whoever cut your hair?

Why don't you just wait in the conference room?

Why is it that people place no premium on quiet these days?

Why is it we say we're looking for mature partners. . .

Why would anyone go out with him?

Why?

Why?

With a syncopated rhythm Scratch scratch scratch

With all due respect, do you really think being a judge is your niche?

With all due respect, no, you don't.

With this ring l promise l'll Always love always love you

With this ring l promise l'll Always love always love you

With this ring l promise l'll Always love always love you

Women are looking for mates.

Women used to strip for a chance at greatness.

Women with wattle, they know all the old songs. Bugger.

Women's intuition. Plus, Glenn told me.

Worn under the clothes. Nobody knows.

Wow. Who is she? Hey, you're cute. Married?

Yeah, bygones. Next up, Warner v. Milbury, Goldman and Burns.

Yeah, I do.

Yeah, it's as simple as that.

Yeah, l do.

Yeah, l do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yep.

Yes, and aren't those the two most beautiful babies ever?

Yes, Elaine broke it to me ever so gently.

Yes, l understand

Yes, yes. You know, even when love comes along. . .

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Aside from the butt grazing, once in conference, he kissed me.

Yes. That case is over. This is ex parte, and I'm busy.

Yet lately, as l've taken measure of my life. . .

You actually seem more able when it comes to suspending activity.

You and I have always had this connection. Would you agree?

You and I know what it's like With the devil in our heart

You asked her to tame your meat weasel?

You asked me out, and you're hitting on someone else before I even answer?

You bring foreign bodies into my hole and lip synch a lecture!

You can't order that.

You cannot marry that person without hearing what I have to offer.

You didn't get me anything?

You didn't wanna go to bed last night, because it would be unfaithful. . .

You don't have to go home. We agreed not to go to that other place. . .

You don't know what l'm talking about? You can't finish the sentence

You don't know who or what I am.

You don't mark on your best friend's turf.

You don't need to tell me

You don't think l see? The whole office sees.

You encountered a woman on the street and complimented her on her children.

You ever think. . .

You forgot what it means to go down a path with a trusted friend...

You gonna stay mad forever?

You haven't answered the previous question. What do you want?

You haven't prepped her for this depo?

You heard Mr. Fernwall and other potential customers who testified.

You just leave without saying goodbye?

You know it. And l know it. I have a strict policy against fun.

You know when you're trying to get through to someone and you grab them. . .

You know, Elaine, you know me.

You know, Guess Who 's Coming to Dinner.

You know, the fact that I'm a little older and perhaps wiser about

You know, this "keeping our distance" stuff isn't working.

You know, you once spoke of the "getting ready for a date. "

You laid them out fine. Could we get together after the staff meeting?

You left the firm in Richard's hands. That made everybody a little uneasy.

You mean to lecture me on duty? l have things to say.

You might be confused, because of my closeness with her, that we're still. . . .

You need to testify why you're drawn to Tim, to establish it isn't frivolous.

You never answered my question

You never ask a question you don't know the answer to. I screwed up.

You owe me a fiduciary duty, and you breached it royally!

You really don't have a clue, do you? You're a pretty amazing attorney.

You say you don't want Glenn in a carnal way.

You seem nice. But here's a tip: Women lose interest in Ken dolls. . .

You sold your soul at the crossroads kept a little of mine on hand

You sounded thicker on the telephone, but you're lovely and slim.

You sure sound pretty

You tell an attorney she's got a talent with the mike.

You think l'd let you do one of your hit and run numbers?

You think your case was affected by Mr. Milbury's apelike behavior?

You want to go out?

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

You were always on my mind

You wink at anything in a dress, and your career is on the line. . .

You'd be surprised. I've chewed a lot.

You'll think it's silly, but l used to think in a prior life l was Elvis.

You're a judge. Do you think it's appropriate?

You're a senior partner. You owe an explanation.

You're a woman, for God sakes. Be a man.

You're about to get one. We feel she doesn't fully represent the class.

You're clueless. You thought Larry was right.

You're cute. You couldn't find a younger model?

You're embracing the spirit of having a relationship. . .

You're girlie, you're gangly, you're adorable.

You're in your 40s.

You're just happy to take over his hole. It's a material game for you.

You're more like my big brother.

You're on one of your fishing expeditions again.

You're the one that I long to kiss

You've been talking clipped.

You've bitten off more than you can chew here.

Younger women want a man to complete their lives, to provide contentment.

Your asking Ms. Shaw to leave is based solely on Mr. Boyle's age?

Your being with a young kid, the perception alone. . .?

Your Calvin Klein cologne kills my plants.

Your daughters might be lawyers one day. Your sons.

Your friend might not be too quick to take my word. . .

Your gut told you that?

Your Honor? l have no excuse for my past behavior, but l love this man.

Your powers of observation continue to stun. Move along.

Your world hasn't changed one bit. You want what you've always wanted.

Yummy, yummy, yummy I've got love in my tummy

. . .and litigate. I'm a litigator. Anything you can do

. . .and you can show your friend. Okay.

. . .and, ultimately, winning. So tomorrow we go in and do better.

. . .but don't have to suck face now. "Suck face"?

. . .I'm just really impressed. Huh.

. . .Iate. This is where you work?

. . .to whoever comes after me? Something like that.

. . .want it. When?

. . .you know. Yes. Penis taunters?

"Turn the Beat Around. " You know it? Yes

A gentleman would be a fool to move. Is it any wonder you've been sued?

A makeover? What, am I not attractive anymore?

A real one? Yes, if you. . .

A song in the bar. A song at the bar.

A thief. Oh.

Abercrombie and Fitchie boy? Okay.

Again, isn't that pathetic? Allison

All right, what? What?

All right. Menus?

All rise, the honorable Judge Woo. Never mind. Who's first?

All you have to do is act, you know. Girlie.

Ally and I are gonna go out. We are not.

Ally, she's already grown up. Oh.

Ally? Hm?

Am l in the field? Well, the truth is

And didn't she sue your whole firm? We got that dismissed. It's just me.

And ever since l've been. . . . An ass?

And I was caught. Sounds like you caught him.

And I'd get crushed. Why?

And I'm a better lawyer than you. You're a better lawyer. Come on!

And if he's not? I'd stop seeing you

And if it is frivolous? Frances, if you come off reasonably

And juries go for adorable girls. That kind of flattery leaves me wet.

And then he left. How is he now?

And things with Glenn? Ah, well.

And this was the problem. Well. . . . Why?

And to Jenny on her birthday. Happy birthday.

And what about you and the boy? I'm completely over the boy.

And what did he do? He accepted it.

And you and Raymond? He's a dink.

And? I need a hard nosed litigator.

And? With freckles the jury will love.

Any marriage is a leap of faith. Your Honor, I don't like the rhythm.

Anything to cross him on? He sounded pretty reasonable.

Are these the pleadings? Was there a next?

Are you a lawyer? I am.

Are you fine with it? Me? Why wouldn't l be?

Are you getting any? Please.

Are you having a crisis? I think perhaps l was.

Are you okay? I'm fine, thank you.

Are you ready to play? Almost.

Are you ready? Well, on one day's notice.

Are you saying I'm unattractive? I can't take your word, or yours.

Are you trying to make me nervous? No, l

Aren't you and the boy on a date? He's arranging Jenny's present.

As flawed as that perception is. . . . Objection! Who's testifying?

Because I wouldn't mind. Will you stop?

Because your love has passed me by The Guess Who.

But he's hired me to defend him. The firm that fired you hired you?

But now l'm reformed. Excellent

But where were you? That's my business. Move along.

But you know that. LAWYER: What are you talking about?

But, John, Elvis lived in this life. Well, there lies the rub.

But, you're here. Yes.

But? But there's Jenny.

Can I ask you something? Uh huh.

Can I stop you? Please.

Can I take it? I was hoping you would.

Can I think about it? Of course.

Can I walk you home? No, thanks. I'm just gonna

Can we just go somewhere private? Come on.

Can we look at logic? Certainly.

Can you tell the court why? Because Jenny asked me to.

Celebrate? Absolutely.

Celtics. Bruins.

Chalk on a blackboard in D minor. The wedding was ruined?

Claire Otoms, our named plaintiff. You're all so young.

Clipped. Clipped?

Come on, Jenny, it's strategy. Strategy.

Come on. Raymond!

Correct. And jurors. . .

Corretta What's going on?

Could we get some menus? Certainly.

Detroit. Sorry?

Did I hear my name? We like to start on time, youngster.

Did she like it? I think so.

Did she scam you? She thinks so.

Did you not think I'd know that? All right.

Do I have to know the law? Not really. You'd have clerks.

Do l have the same privilege? Of course.

Do they always bicker like that? JENNY: But they're good friends.

Do they have to know her private life? We work the cocktail circuit.

Do you have a recording? No.

Do you know what I'm saying? You want some boom boom.

Do you know why l became a lawyer? To do good?

Do you like her, really? I do.

Do you remember when we first met? Yes, what of it?

Do you think that's why he left? I don't know.

Does true love have to be romantic? For most people? No.

Don't even look at her. She's mine. Get a brain.

Don't need to hear about it. Raymond. Mad. See? Hit me

Don't you look at her. What?

Double date? Well. . . . It'll be fun, don't you think?

Dry lips. You know how wet he is. Excuse me?

Excellent. Well. . . .

Excuse me, Your Honor? Who is this person?

Excuse me? It was a demonstration.

Eyebrows? Thick eyebrows are a sign of virility.

Fine, then. Clipped.

Fine. Great

Fine. Yeah. Fine. Jenny.

Flat screen? Far wall.

For me to be alone, it just seems. . . . Against God?

Frances? Glenn. I'm looking for Jenny.

Gerard, what's up? Is Richard here?

Get back. Yeah.

Glenn? Well. . . .

Glenn's fine with it. Oh. Okay.

Good looking youngster. Glenn?

Good night, Raymond. Good night.

Good night. Right. Good night.

Great! Should be fun, then. Uh huh.

Great. Great.

Great. Great.

Has the jury reached a verdict? We have, Your Honor.

Have you and Jenny? Not yet, but l was hoping tonight.

Have you been told that before? I suppose.

Have you lost, then? It doesn't look good.

Have you? No, l'm just saying Forget it

He actually is a man. Yeah.

He doesn't qualify as a missing person. What if he didn't write the e mail?

He just flew off. You flew off.

He just took off? I don't know what to think.

He kissed you? He just grabbed me and kissed me.

He wouldn't want a big butt. It won't be big.

He's in his office. If l could see you both a second?

He's too young. Plus Ally, you're young. 32 is young.

Hello. Going into your hole?

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. I'm looking for Jenny Shaw. That's me.

Hey Hey

Hey Shout!

Hey, Elaine. Hi, John.

Hey, Elaine. Nice song. You too.

Hey, Jen. Hi. Thanks for the song.

Hey, John. Ally. Hello

Hey, Nelle. How's it going?

Hold still, please. No.

Home away from home? I'm trying to do my business!

Hooray for justice. Grow up.

Horny ous? Weaker.

Hot. Don't you have a huge day tomorrow?

Hot. Sizzling.

How dare you? Not now. I'm off to court.

How did you know I was gonna say that? Because I know you.

How do we know it's not a scam? I trust her. I want to marry her.

How hard is it? You just form opinions. Yes, but are you gonna like it?

How nationwide? We could sell you in every market.

How old are you, Mr. Rohrer? 63.

How old are you, Mr. Rohrer? 63.

How you doing? Splendid, thank you.

How'd your testimony go? I think the jury saw the real me.

I am not gonna keep up. Trust your therapist now. Allison.

I am. Who's second chair? Ally or Glenn?

I apologize. You didn't need to raise your voice.

I asked one question too many. You did fine.

I begged him not to do this. He's not terrible.

I can explain. You can explain?

I can't leave without it. Oh, am I the one holding on?

I can't win a case with freckles. Jenny. It's not just freckles.

I could try. What about the kiss? Explain that.

I couldn't have yelled it louder if If it were true?

I design body suits. Body suits?

I didn't even bother to meet her. The case was a long shot.

I didn't mean it like that. Right.

I don't agree. This is the named plaintiff?

I don't do that. Don't be fooling around with Jenny.

I don't feel like talking about it. JUDGE: Ma'am.

I don't get it. We love each other as friends, not

I don't know, Glenn. I don't want her hurt.

I don't know. John, your friend's gonna want glutes.

I don't really grab people, Raymond. Our faces were close, like this.

I don't see And I miss you.

I don't think l should be with him. No.

I don't think this is a great idea. Why?

I don't understand. I'm an undercover police officer.

I don't want you hurting her. Fine. Fine.

I feel you know me. I've been there

I got an e mail. It said to feel free. You've heard from him?

I got an idea

I guess you wouldn't. Fine.

I had a dream about you last night. I was there. Remember?

I heard Sting was there last year. Yeah. He sang with my boyfriend.

I keep thinking it's a trick. On mankind.

I know. I'm sorry. I'm a vulnerable woman.

I left a note. Hey, can we talk about this?

I love fake blonds. I'm artificial. Who is this man?

I love her just the same. The court won't let us marry.

I need mental help. That's why you're here.

I raised you to be silly, not rude. Did I hurt your feelings?

I saw that. What?

I sit down and out he leaps! What do you mean?

I still love you. Right back at you.

I think he's cute. Really cute.

I think we should go to his house. Or to the police

I thought this dance was over. It isn't. We're still dancing.

I thought you went to the airport? Yeah, l picked up a friend.

I thought you were off to court? I stand ready if need be.

I took Jen in for a little nook. Shut up.

I understand that, and I realize You lose. Next case.

I want to sue my former employers. Oh.

I want you to lose the case. Wouldn't that be unethical?

I was A woman

I was hoping to You did this with the plaintiff?

I was late to a staff meeting. Sorry. Me too.

I was. Instead, I was invited to leave. Why?

I wasn't comfortable with it. Why?

I won't sue you for it. Your chauvinism goes to the merits.

I'll see you downstairs then. See you down there.

I'm 54. A judge can't order that.

I'm a litigator. Richard, Nancy Gower is here.

I'm a total slut. Jenny

I'm asking you. No, l'm asking you.

I'm desperate, okay? I can see that.

I'm drinking that. Don't you know you can die from cigars?

I'm free

I'm getting up there to sing. Is she interested in you? Jenny.

I'm late for a meeting, that's all. Sorry for keeping you.

I'm late for a staff meeting. What about you and the thin mint?

I'm late for a staff meeting. What about you and the thin mint?

I'm not as crushed as you are, l see. I want you to know l'm here for you.

I'm not falling for this. Not a joke.

I'm not getting any. Neither am l.

I'm not gonna date him, okay? Okay.

I'm not inviting you in. I wouldn't go in if you did.

I'm not. I think it would be great. You would?

I'm okay if you do. Right, that's obvious.

I'm ready. My love grows daily. I'm all choked up.

I'm sorry. Tell me why you're crying.

I'm sorry. Yeah.

I'm sure he would, but he's missing. How do you mean, "He's missing"?

I'm telling you, it's too soon. Is the day ever coming for you two?

I've disappointed you. Listen. . . .

I've got to go to court. I know. I just wanted to say:

I've lost track of the question. Is this a joke, Glenn?

If it's jury duty, tell them I'm dead. He said 1 0:00, dead or alive.

If she doesn't, how many others do? Is she here?

If you're out there, please step up. Hello!

Ignore him. I've moved on to Dairy Queen here.

In a colonial home. Claire. The calls.

In a good way! Okay, we're just a little on edge.

In part, yes. Did you know this boy?

In their love life? ls love logical? Yes

Is Ally too old for me? You're gonna go out with Ally?

Is everything okay? Oh, yeah.

Is he kind? Actually, yes.

Is it Glenn? Glenn? Glenn Foy?

Is it John? John? John Cage?

Is it saline? No, it's a gel. . .

Is she interested? Look, l don't know.

Is that a "no"? You want to meet men.

Is that why you want time off? Me? No.

Is there anything we can do? We can go into court. . .

Isn't it great? You might think so, but

Isn't that pathetic? Of course not.

It could get serious. And then?

It did? Yeah.

It doesn't concern you? Why should it?

It isn't gonna be you. I know this.

It off. It would be best.

It was a disaster

It was a good choice, that song. Yeah, well, she does love Elvis.

It was always more suggestive. Can you be more specific?

It was my idea! Yeah, then you cross!

It was Raymond's idea. What?

It was very entertaining. Good.

It wasn't a disaster. They'll give that transcript to the judge.

It wasn't your fault. Of course it was my fault

It's a boys club. No, it is no longer a boys club.

It's a funny case, huh? Yeah.

It's a lot to say. Give it to me live.

It's best we're on opposite sides. Hey. I don't

It's just that we're not real men. What are we?

It's making it worse. Then let's just knock.

It's not important. Okay.

It's so light. Try the glute shorts.

Jen. . . . The only reason I have this job is. . .

Jenny doesn't need to hear that. Why not?

Jenny told me. Shut up!

Jenny, where's the client? Maybe her flight was delayed.

Jenny's doing okay? Great

John? You're back. Indeed. Move along, Richard.

Judge Walsh will see her? Yes.

Just a quickie. ALLY: Claire!

Just because you're older you And I'm a woman.

Let's go. When l say go, you go. Where?

Let's just change the subject, okay? Fine.

Let's take a look at logic. Why?

Liar. Oh.

Listen I'm asking you out.

Look at her. Hall of fame wattle. It's killing you.

Look. She seems like a real woman

Lousy view. There'll be other men to love, Nancy.

Makes sense. What are you waiting for?

Maybe Ling too. Please.

Maybe Mom will nurse you later. All right. Cut it out.

Maybe we should go home. They indicated they were close.

Maybe you should set him straight. Or l could set you straight.

Me grow up? All right.

Meaning? Well, l have a life. Also plans

Men makeovers? Yes.

Miss Otoms Claire. Isn't she lovely?

Mom? Sweetheart.

Ms. McBeal, are you all right? Yes, I'm fine. I just

My life is loveless. Move along. I hope we're not too late.

Nancy, we're all God's children. Well, this child stole from old men.

Nancy? Is everything okay?

Next office down. How are you? I'm fine.

Next topic! Is she interested?

Next. BAILIFF: 3 6 6 4 7. . . .

No, but But what?

No, I do that. You check your outfit. Jenny.

No? No.

No. No?

No. How about it? Yeah. Yeah.

No. Rats move into abandoned places. Clearly.

No. Why didn't you? It doesn't matter.

Nobody got me a present? Of course we got you presents

Not Barry. Your boyfriend. Oh, broke up. Next.

Nothing. Oh, come on, Glenn.

Now l'm back. So how are you? I'm okay.

Of course there is. Well, where is he?

Of course. But what can l do but. . .? Inhabit his hole.

Off to court? Raymond's testimony. Say a prayer.

Oh, my God. I'm so happy.

Oh, my God. He went to court. Who?

Oh, nothing. You just cut off a staff meeting.

Oh, please. Excuse me.

Oh, thanks. Half of trial law is button pushing

Okay, Jenny. Sorry.

Okay, rope trick. Cross the street. You cross.

Okay, so nobody forgot? Of course not.

Okay, that does seem logical. I'll bring my stuff in.

Okay, this bugs me. See?

Okay. I just thought I'd offer. Men don't get makeovers.

Or do you want to rush to judgment? What's your side?

Pamela Whoop? "Whoop. " The W is silent.

Perhaps not. So why?

Please don't mess with me like that. No, l'm not. . . .

Please, this is my breakfast. I sometimes grab one quite early.

Presents? You got me presents, right?

Rat tat tat tat Tat tat on the drums

Raymond moved for a hearing. What are you talking about?

Raymond! Nice.

Ready to close? Yeah, all set.

Really? God. . . .

Really? Yeah

Remember being young? Having fun? No.

See you back at 7:00. 7:00? l have plans, judge, l

See? That right there is hokey. A harp is romantic, you rock.

Seeing him with another woman. . . . Please.

Shall I leave it? Desk.

She slept with you during this time? Yes.

She's getting married, Raymond. That's great. One obstacle removed.

She's getting married? That's what Jenny said.

She's good, very good. Oh, my God.

She's not a wagtail. Fine. Fine.

She's not that person today. E Pluribus. It's in there.

She's where? At Logan Airport.

Shouldn't we try to make contact? He's always been eccentric, Nelle.

Shout! Hey

So do you like her? Oh, look, l. . . .

So how was your birthday? Okay.

So how's Ally? How would l know?

So it's anti trust now? I didn't say anti trust. Hey!

So this was just a strategy? That's correct.

So we should go out. Say the word. Oink

So you set him straight? I tried.

So, what happened? So far, I think we're winning.

Sorry

Sorry? Why not?

Sorry? You said "next. " Was there a next?

Sorry? You're reciting an ABBA song.

Sorry. I really enjoy our new friendship.

Sorry. She's got a little streak.

Sorry. Are you okay? My fault. Perfectly fine.

Suddenly, l'm nervous. Me too.

Sure you don't want me to walk you? I'm sure. Thanks.

Sure. I will explain

Sure. You're such a giver

Take a chance on me, if you need me ABBA.

Tell me l haven't lost my mind. No, you haven't lost your mind.

Tell me l haven't lost my mind. No, you haven't lost your mind.

Tell me what you know about Tim Boyle. Very little.

Tell me what you know about Tim Boyle. Very little.

Thank God. I somehow got ahold of myself. . .

Thank you, Richard and Corretta. Well, let's make this official.

Thank you. She wants to make me a judge?

That bitch. Later.

That explain it? Huh?

That Glenn? Yeah, that one.

That kiss the other night? I know, just forget it.

That ridiculous body suit he wore? Bitch.

That's a matter of court reporting. I don't like surprises.

That's Elton John. What's he doing here?

That's just girl talk. It feels more accusatory. . .

That's nice. All arranged and everything.

That's okay, I live right over there. I'm just a few streets down.

That's terrific. And he made sense, Ally. Really.

The big change is. . . . What?

The Biscuit. And he's full size. Would he represent me?

The ceremony was ruined. All professional musicians.

The Constitution. Exactly.

The firm deserves an explanation. It would disappoint you.

The forecast was sunny and clear. This is New England.

The GQ cutie child? Yes.

The part. Ah.

Then how can I rule? I'm telling you, they were lousy.

There's a room back there. He's jumping out of walls!

There's mine. And here's mine.

There's your winner, judge. I'll take it under advisement.

They couldn't play. Not true.

They did? Aren't you just devastated?

They don't like the man I'm with. What?

They got to that part of the song. . . . Which part?

They let anybody sing? I don't know. You testify tomorrow?

They're not weapons. I'm sorry

This girl is not about to The case is all prepped, Jenny.

This is me up here. I know. I've been there.

This is really disgusting. Please tell the court.

This is the broken engagement? Yes. She refuses to return the ring

This is the named plaintiff? I guess.

Three days and I already bug you. You don't bug me.

Throw my hands back Shout!

Time to get my body in shape. For a week? What sort of shape?

Totally. The music was so distracting. Not true.

Treat her well, l'm okay with it. I don't think you are.

True love's way? Uh huh

True? There is a line

Turn the beat around Turn the beat around

Turn the beat around Turn the beat around

Very pleased to meet you. Hello.

Wanna put it to a vote? Are we adjourned?

Was Mr. Milbury's conduct routine? Hardly.

We could fall in love. And then?

We did the double date once. That was a sham. This was a real kiss.

We do? You think I'm about to meet someone. . .

We have many other plaintiffs This is the named plaintiff?

We need to change that. I'm not gonna have a makeover.

We really need to get to court. I don't want you winning.

We should get in there. Okay.

We shouldn't let him repeat it. I agree.

We used to. I didn't like you then.

We were all worried about you. You shouldn't have been.

We were just fighting. So you kissed her?

We'd hate to miss a single second. The room feels hostile.

We'll drop you. No, I'll walk Ally. Go ahead.

We'll pay you to be a bitch. And she's one for free.

We're all friends. We're in a restaurant.

We're good friends, right? Jenny.

We're in session here. Get over it.

Well, did you answer? Ally.

Well, good night. Good night.

Well, he did. That's against that thing. . . .

Well, I live right over there. Oh.

Well, I'll see you at work. See you there.

Well, likewise. Yeah.

Well, maybe you two aren't over. . . . No. We are, trust me.

Well, she's a special person. Yeah, she is

Well, that isn't easy for me to do. Raymond, you're Glenn's best friend.

Well, there you go. I'm open to finding out.

Well, what do you want? I'd like to go out with you.

Well, you know. A fool?

Well. Well.

What about when you got to trial? Once, his hand grazed my buttocks.

What am l, your timekeeper? You all right?

What are you celebrating? I don't know, Dad. That it's nighttime?

What are you saying? Let yourself go.

What are you talking about? You love her.

What are you today? A role model.

What calls? From the telephone company!

What did you do? I pushed him off.

What do you mean? I mean. . .

What do you think about Raymond? I'm sorry?

What do you want, exclusive? No. See, I don't even wanna date you.

What do you want? Me?

What happened to him? He's on VH1 , Where Are They Now?

What happened to the big deposition? It's in 20 minutes.

What in the hell is that? I can explain!

What is this, Run lnto Ling Day? I'm sorry, I was looking at my twins.

What kind of ratings will I get? Their product left my automobile dull

What say you? We find in favor of the plaintiff. . .

What the ? Keep up.

What time? 8:00 at the bar.

What was that last one? I can't believe it.

What, are we late? No, we're just running a little. . .

What, you were still gonna drink it? No, I'm gonna pour it

What? Am I missing something?

What? Do you think you're fooling anybody?

What? Evidently you imp

What? Have you and Ally ?

What? I'm still free

What? Wait a second.

What? Come on, Ally, we're just Friends?

What? Now? It's important.

What's going on here? I told you l have a photo shoot.

What's going on, Glenn? I was just. . .

What's that you're eating? A hamburger. You want a bite?

What's the deal with hiring me? You're an excellent attorney.

When I grow up, I wanna be you. The deposition

When you say sexual advances He'd ask me out.

Where am l? You're in my hole, Frances.

Where did you go, John? I was away. I'm back now.

Where did you go? I just went away.

Where do you live, Miss Otoms? I live in Winchester.

Where's my mother? She's not here yet

Which is? Love. In this case, older, younger.

Which means I provide the answers. Assuming, with love, there are answers.

While he was testifying, he seemed. . . . He seemed what?

Who doesn't? Your second is over. I'm not kidding.

Who else knew of his hole? Melanie.

Who is it? Guess.

Who is this man? I do not like him.

Who is this man? ALLY: I'm not dating you.

Who's asking the questions? I am

Who's dead? No one. But something has come up.

Who's dead? No one's dead

Who's that? That's her mother.

Whoever? Whoever l end up with for real.

Why are you crying? Well. . . .

Why are you here? Can't a mother come see her daughter?

Why are you talking like that? Like what?

Why do you think we pad our bras? Yeah. I do look pretty buff.

Why is this deposition so important? If we don't show damages. . .

Why must l account for my absence? Because you are senior partner.

Why not drive this one on cloudy days? That's not really the point.

Why would it be of the affair variety? You're a boy.

Why? I almost kissed her.

With you two being apart? Well, you know. . . .

Women are smarter about love? Always.

Women just loved me. Of course they did.

Won't take just a second. You dragged me into a stall.

Wonder what l'll have. There's prime rib in your future.

Would you consider it? Okay.

Would you dance with me? Sorry?

Would you do it? Well. . . .

Would you like to meet somebody? Who?

Wow. You think l'm weird.

Wow. You think l'm weird.

Yeah, I think so. It's not hard?

Yes, l do. You felt reduced.

Yes, she's here, Your Honor. Then call her to the stand.

Yes, what am l gonna do about that? Ally, did you hear?

Yes, you said that. And l'm attracted to him.

Yes. You look a little sexy for the men.

Yes. So? You think opposing counsel is out?

You are such a goof. Can l kiss that forehead?

You asked him out? Basically.

You asked me that in the bar. I did?

You better tell her, detective. Detective?

You did fine. Now it comes down to your testimony.

You did it! ALLY: I can't believe it.

You didn't say go. Glenn!

You didn't tell me it was a layout. Cover of Talk magazine.

You do too. Oh, shut up.

You do. Shut up.

You don't know who that is? Why? Should l?

You ever do that? We all try to charm jurors.

You feel better? Actually, l do.

You forgot her birthday? No, l just didn't know it was today.

You have a lot of cars? I do.

You have access to my hole? Richard and l are buddies.

You have money, so you're handsome. Last year, I was irresistible.

You know what l mean? No, not really.

You know, l'm cool about anything. You mean like dating me?

You left

You left Elton John. I'm gonna go back down.

You look fabulous. So do you. I mean, you know.

You made out? No. You told me

You may be. But you want to.

You okay? Sure, why? How's my hair?

You on my side or not? Raymond.

You put a mirror ball in my hole! Bygones.

You really don't see that, do you? Look, Jenny. . . .

You see yourself with him forever? I see myself with him now.

You seem nervous. Me? No. I just get restless.

You seem sad. Well, Richard violated my hole.

You still have feelings for her? I love her

You think I need a makeover? Maybe a touch, here and there.

You think she kidnapped him? Well, she loved him.

You told her l make out sloppy? I'm not happy here.

You told me. Picked this place to get lucky?

You two belong together. We'd just end up hating each other.

You unbelievable oaf! I'm a litigating oaf. . .

You wanna sleep with him. I do not wanna sleep with Glenn!

You want boom boom with Glenn. Could you take me seriously?

You want me for my freckles? That, and l want a girl.

You want to go out with Jenny? No. Maybe.

You were dating her for three years. So sue me. Take me to court.

You were engaged how long? Six weeks.

You were looking. You like him. Oh, Jenny!

You? About to, yeah.

You'd think she'd want a mature man. You'd be a cinch then.

You'll likely be called as witnesses. Wait a second.

You're a very pretty woman. Thank you

You're almost exquisite. Thank you.

You're angry. I didn't plan it. I'm not. Raymond. I'm not.

You're angry. I didn't plan it. I'm not. Raymond. I'm not.

You're cute, in a slutty way. And men on the rebound just love me.

You're disgusting. Trust me. You're not just saying that?

You're going away? Yeah, to a spa. Just for a week.

You're going home? Yeah. Bye.

You're not concerned? Of course l am.

You're not offering to settle? That's funny.

You're not pleased. Is this what you came to tell me?

You're supposed to be fair. Oh, please. Stop it!

You're tone deaf. Whatever.

You've been a trial lawyer how long? Six years

You've never met her before? I was the named plaintiff, but. . .

You've never tried it? Great. Make it more difficult.

Your boyfriend sang with Sting? I sang with Barry Manilow

Your closing just now was fantastic. Thank you.

Your Honor Miss Otoms?

. .

. . . "You like him! " I'm not comfortable with that.

. . .31 seems old for someone who's only had two serious relationships.

. . .a girl in the second row came up to me and she said:

. . .a lot of that guilt would go away if l started dating somebody.

. . .a movie, perhaps a book you read? And how would you feel. . .

. . .a woman who runs around with a kid. . .

. . .about him suckling a little whipped cream out of your navel?

. . .against the plaintiff approaching men over 50. Given her record. . .

. . .and as l look at you, l see people who still know how to ride a bike. . .

. . .and have your telephone leap at you.

. . .and he was still very persuasive. And he was in total control.

. . .and it was wrong for the whoever.

. . .and l told him that l couldn't love him back.

. . .and maybe it was in the cards for me. What did you mean by that?

. . .and order the defendant to pay damages in the amount of 75 cents.

. . .and order the defendant to write a blank check.

. . .and prepare for a weekend of competition.

. . .and said the three words men hate.

. . .and what l'm about to say is. . . .

. . .and you hire an attorney because she's girlie.

. . .and you went to one of your parties with a woman like me, and

. . .are definitely over as a couple.

. . .around the time they toss their Barbies.

. . .as a nuisance claim. We'll continue and set a trial date for January.

. . .back to include simple manners, decency.

. . .because I know you are.

. . .because of my relationship with Jenny and yours. We can honor that.

. . .because of this big case.

. . .because you abandoned ship, you funny little oots.

. . .but I'd love to be your maid of honor.

. . .but if you truly love somebody, then how can it be a wrong choice?

. . .but it was, in fact, composed after his lifetime. It went:

. . .but maybe to confirm you've bitten off more than you can chew.

. . .but perhaps if you tried it and were convinced, you could convince him.

. . .but whose next smile will come from getting leather interior in a new car.

. . .but you feel, for some reason, he's not right for you.

. . .but you refused to grab the rope.

. . .disrupting my peace and quiet.

. . .especially when it involves your ex boyfriend.

. . .even sexy, and a woman like me wanted to date you. . .

. . .for those who've longed to control the volume when she speaks.

. . .get our ponies situated in the stables, pitch our tents. . .

. . .harder in the muscle areas than in the fatty.

. . .his daughter to marry Sidney Poitier because of the color barrier.

. . .hit on what this case is about: Disrupting the quiet of one's home.

. . .I couldn't be the named plaintiff and lead attorney. I moved her up.

. . .I couldn't take my eyes off of your incredible ass. "

. . .I don't know about me and Glenn. I'm gonna try and stay open to it.

. . .I don't know what it's about. I'm meeting the client at 1 0:00.

. . .I don't know. . .

. . .I find myself missing Larry.

. . .I maintain, you're clueless.

. . .I'd get these diamond rings, then l'd break off the engagement.

. . .I'm busy. I'm dining off the intestines of a cow. "

. . .if not more so, than sex.

. . .if they didn't get married. "

. . .Iike you want to take care of her, or something.

. . .implying that l'm dumb. Everybody looks for chinks in the armor.

. . .in lieu of actually having one.

. . .Iook at each other behind my back. Did I lay out the stakes correctly?

. . .is how at the end of the day, we'd all get together.

. . .it could be perfect.

. . .it means they're reaching out for something.

. . .it seems like a lousy way to promote healing.

. . .it'll be written on my tombstone, "She was practical. "

. . .it's possible I might be attracted to the guys who are wrong.

. . .maybe you should date him? l know it seems crazy.

. . .of what I felt and still feel for Christina. . . "

. . .or have a perfect body, then l've done my job. Snap!

. . .or it would work and that would be a disaster.

. . .or one, is old would be in relative terms.

. . .or that I'm gonna become lovers with somebody who's my friend.

. . .probably tilts toward fun loving, perhaps impulsive, even radical.

. . .runs the risk of seeming impulsive, if not a little wild.

. . .she's posed a threat to this demographic.

. . .so he can at least say that he's been pumping.

. . .so l'll tell you why you're in here.

. . .so what? lf it's good strategy, that's just the way it goes.

. . .so you can shag Ally with a clean conscience. It's despicable.

. . .so you'd be surprised when Glenn and l stood up to say, "Surprise. "

. . .that crosses it, wherever it is

. . .that it's tough to find a real autonomy with Well, it's. . . .

. . .that l was living out some fantasy.

. . .that's ridiculous. The plaintiff's claim is dismissed.

. . .the important things in life. But this Tourette's ian blurting. .

. . .the judge ordered me to stay away from men over 50.

. . .then why shouldn't she be with him? So what that he's younger?

. . .there is something l've been meaning to broach.

. . .there's a great girl waiting for you to call.

. . .there's no guarantee that he It is going to stay forever.

. . .they don't cry sexual harassment every time they lose.

. . .this is the place to find it.

. . .to "Turn the Beat Around" thinks he's in like Flynn.

. . .to find out what you were missing out on in college?

. . .to try and force eye contact so they see your point? To connect?

. . .two things you never forget how to do. "

. . .unwelcomed sexual conduct.

. . .was predicated on Ms. Shaw being with a 20 year old?

. . .we can't handle ourselves against him.

. . .we'll lose at summary judgment. The named plaintiff has to make the showing.

. . .what's your very first thought?

. . .when there has been rehabilitation. Mr. Billow, it's up to you.

. . .when we're really attracted to the bratty 2 year olds?

. . .where I took my first breath of life. . .

. . .which, when I did take it, he wasn't even alive.

. . .who are too practical for their own happiness. "

. . .you could find love with the boy?

. . .you must have something special about you too.

. . .you must navigate through to reach love's final destination.

. . .you want somebody who projects stability, caution, conservatism.

. . .you're thinking with the part of you l no longer associate with

...a true believer in right andjustice

...and the responsibilities that go with it?

" . . .then the only thing more foolish than their getting married would be. . .

"Could you speak into the mike?" Then he'd look at me with his leer.

"Dear Richard. Not to worry. I'll be back. John. P.S. Ally likes Glenn. "

"l just want you to know, as l sat there watching you. . .

"l'm not really smart. I am how l look. "

"The brokerage business is about gaining trust. "

"Where there's beauty, don't look for brains. " l don't buy into it.

"You can't lift your leg on your best friend's girl. " ls that the saying?

("DANCING QUEEN" PLAYS]

("KUNG FU FIGHTING" PLAYS]

(BAND BEGINS PLAYING "SHOUT"]

(BURPS]

(CLEARS THROAT]

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(ELEVATOR DINGS]

(ENGLISH SDH]

(GLENN AND RAYMOND GRUNTING]

(HORN HONKS]

(INSTRUMENTS PLAYING OFF KEY]

(JENNY GROANS]

(KNOCKING]

(MUSIC PLAYS]

(MUSIC STOPS]

(OTOMS BURBS]

(VONDA SINGS "YOU WERE ON MY MIND")