💬 Axe Cop - Season 1

A bad guy must be controlling them

A bald eagle.

A billion and six, billion and seven, billion and eight...

A butler.

A general disrespect towards women?

A group of female superhero sisters?

A guy bought the perfect taxi.

A jet pack wearing zombie!?

A magic axe that can turn into any weapon I want.

A mother with a broken heart can break

A rattlesnake.

A really smart bad guy.

A Secret Attack. Stand back.

A secret li bary!

A secret potion that will turn zombies good.

A taxi driver!

A thousand pousand papa pa pa pow!

A totally different dude. His name was Sergeant G.

A war?! I'll be right there!

A wave of fire formed in space...

Aah!

Aah! But I don't have your present yet.

Abra ca handcuffs.

According to that report, Fatsozon killed both of you.

Actually he already has a name.

Actually I killed two bad guys.

Actually, I wasn't happy or sad.

Adolf Hitler!

After "x"ing and un "x"ing his arms,

Ah ha!

Ah, hold on.

Ah, I guess I was wrong, buddy.

Ah!

Ah! There she is.

Ahh, isn't this great?

Ahhh, Stockarang!

Ahhh!

Ahhhh!

Al punch you in the face

All day and all night.

All girls are on the dumb list.

All I ever wanted to do

All I ever wanted was to have a place in history.

All my friends are gone. Someone stole them.

All night battles, chop a thons.

All right, Grey Diamond. You can tell your story now.

All right, here you go. Two bananas.

All right, let's go.

All right, that's it. I'm calling the cops.

All right, we have a tupperware.

All right, we'll do dis da hard way.

All right, we're gonna do one story tonight,

All right. I'll see you later.

All right. See you in the morning.

All the animals are super nice to him.

All the candy in the universe

All the way from London, England.

Aloha! We're back.

Already ahead of you.

Always carry a spare axe.

America needs me to win the war. I'm going off to war.

An evil unstoppable army...

An evil unstoppable army... of zombies!

An invisible house. Wait, I think I found something.

And "food getting" powers.

And 1,000 blades came out.

And a cheetah

And a handlebar mustache?

And a robotic arm came out

And a super curly beard and mustache

And ate coconuts.

And Axe Cop would never fall in love with a dumb person!

And Book Cop was right.

And books are for everyone. Even girls.

And caught his horn. And yes, it's true,

And chops off his head.

And created the ultimate soldier slash best friend.

And does all the farmer's chores, right?

And don't mess with Uni Baby's horn. It holds great power.

And eat coconuts.

And even if there is...

And everyone else isn't.

And everyone was like "we're going to die,"

And fed me an axe star energy drink.

And for no one to poop ever again.

And found out who killed your parents.

And goes right back into your gun.

And good night.

And has locked her in a birdcage

And have even more fun.

And he drank it. And after two minutes...

And he is getting ready to detonate the bombs.

And he's dressed up as a wolvi.

And her power was Poison Punches?

And his evil army of evil pilgrim soldiers.

And his name... was Book Cop.

And I am Dr. Doo Doo,

And I can't always be worried if or... what

And I gotta go to the bathroom. Next stop, El Bano.

And I practiced all your cool moves.

And I see a bad guy getting away in the distance.

And I thought, "what am I going to do with this?"

And I will stop at nothing to kill you.

And I'll use the money to buy bullets.

And I'm going to turn everyone evil.

And I'm ready to kill some bad guys.

And if I teach him how to be more like me,

And if that weren't enough,

And if we can't be on his team,

And if you're here for the axe learn out,

And in my dream I also learned

And is declaring tomorrow National Axe Cop Day.

And is lowering her into a pit of acid sharks.

And it looks like we just found it.

And it was no longer safe to live there.

And it would only burn the bad guys.

And it's about time you started calling me your girlfriend.

And ketchup casserole,

And laundry books! Ha ha ha ha.

And leave grenade bombs inside them!

And left a grenade bomb inside of you.

And look this way, it's me, Fife Cop

And look, there's a candle of you holding an axe,

And lucky for you, I know how to defeat him

And medium is the happiest that I'll ever be.

And mustache styles.

And now for our first trick...

And now I'm back to kill you.

And now Thanksgiving is the best holiday in all of autumn.

And now that I have my bad guy machine,

And now to complete my plan.

And now... it's time

And one day, I did it.

And punched out his brain from the inside!

And rebuilding the world.

And reunited with their friends

And save the world!

And scan for sugartivity,

And see if there's anything cool to play with.

And start a new family.

And steal the sun back.

And that... includes... you!

And the babies will float into space

And the fresh diapers are in the dresser.

And the potato salad should be here right about...

And the second best brunch is at lucky Lucy's saloon.

And then decide you don't want him.

And then I decided also, there should be some cheetah in there

And then I kill them all.

And then I will pour the potion onto both of us

And then in the morning, the farmer comes down and sees

And then lifted up the entire ground

And then squished...

And then what?

And there is only one bad guy left to kill.

And they let Axe Cop go right up to them so he can kill them.

And this is the only way I can be reunited with him.

And this one's for you, sir. Catch.

And this some we lost.

And three children about what we've done.

And to punch her if she cries.

And tossed it into the water.

And transported me here?

And try our luck on some games of chance.

And turn us both into good zombies.

And turned it into a bad guy machine.

And we have apple g**** juice.

And we're gonna see how many grown ups

And what a special Thanksgiving it is...

And when I do, I am gonna shoot him...

And when Turkey Turkey was a baby,

And where'd they come from? Apple Planet. Boo yah.

And why are you crying?

And you don't shoot babies!

And you drink it!

And you'll be cops. Just like that!

And you've been so mean that I think it's pretty obvious that you're in love with me.

Anita knows a thing or two about cheese and grilling it.

Anita says I need to spend more time with Uni baby.

Anita, baby,

Anita, baby, we did it.

Anita, can Flute Cop go trick or treating with me tonight?

Anita, don't worry. We're on our way.

Anita, I would think I would know if we were brothers.

Anita, stand back.

Anita, where's the tupperware?!

Another great meal, dear.

Any unbreakable vault.

Appear in every hand.

Are all aliens good or bad?

Are probably gonna get turned into night creatures.

Are you enjoying your vacation?

Are you ready for your favorite bedtime story, Uni Baby?

Are you sure you should be picking candy up off the ground?

Are you the one they call Axe Cop?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Aren't you gonna wish me a happy birthday?

Aren't you too old to be trick or treating?

As a dad I have to say this, I just have to say it:

As it seems to me, son,

As long as I live...

As much as I'm going to enjoy killing you.

At his funeral his mother gave me his brain.

At least I had to work hard to get one of them.

At least I'd get a chance to meet him.

At night I dress up as a cat

At night, after everyone goes home...

At night, I want to go home to a family.

At our amazing magic show!

At the center of all time. I'll take you.

At the downtown train station.

At the Mexican supermarket with me?

Attack!

Attention, zombies.

Attention. We have a train robbery in progress

Avocado Soldier, are you even paying attention?

Aw aw aw awesome.

Aw, are you kidding me? I'm a dinosaur now?

Aw, man. Flute Cop has the best snacks.

Awesome!

Awesome! That gives us some time to hit the strip

Aww, our little baby Book Cop

Axe Cop

Axe cop 01x04 Babysitting Unibaby

Axe Cop 01x06 The Rabbit Who Broke All the Rules

Axe Cop 01x07 No More Bad Guys

Axe Cop 01x03 An American Story

Axe Cop 01x05 Birthday Month Original Air Date: August 17, 2013

Axe Cop 01x08 Super Axe

Axe Cop 01x09 When Night Creatures Attack

Axe Cop 01x10 28 Days Before

Axe Cop 01x11 Taxi Cop

Axe Cop 01x12 The Dumb List

Axe Cop already killed the bad guy.

Axe Cop always has the right of way!

Axe Cop and Ghost Cop are the main course!

Axe Cop gives back to the community.

Axe Cop is gonna milk that animal.

Axe Cop is on television!

Axe Cop is probably still with the farmer. I'll give him a call.

Axe Cop Magic World!

Axe Cop said girls weren't allowed on his team.

Axe Cop soul kick!

Axe Cop threw her at a giant robot and it fell off.

Axe Cop, can I have a quick word with you?

Axe Cop, can you get that?

Axe Cop, can you help us out with some of these customers?

Axe Cop, come in.

Axe Cop, Ghost Cop, fantastic costumes.

Axe Cop, hold up. Umm, real quick. Just a little favor.

Axe Cop, I don't see uni man's house anywhere.

Axe Cop, I just wanted to check in on Uni Baby.

Axe Cop, I love you too.

Axe Cop, let's go save Uni Baby.

Axe Cop, like it or not, she's a member of the team now.

Axe Cop, spike strip!

Axe Cop, the computer brains of those cyborgs

Axe Cop, this is Flute Cop, do you read me? Come in. Over

Axe Cop, we can explain.

Axe Cop, we could use the sun right about now.

Axe Cop, what are we gonna do for money?

Axe Cop, what are you doing?

Axe Cop, you can look at that list all night long,

Axe Cop, you gotta help me look for Uni baby's horn.

Axe Cop, you just can't foster a child

Axe Cop, you still there?

AXE COP: Dino swords.

Axe Cop: I just want to rent a dinosaur horn

AXE COP: I will chop your heads off!

Axe Cop: I will chop your heads off!

AXE COP: There he is.

Axe Cop!

Axe Cop! I knew you wanted to come down to the beach!

Axe Cop! Keep holding on, buddy.

Axe Cop! The laser.

Axe Cop?

Axe Cop? What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night.

Axe Cop? You came back to save me!

Axe Cop.

Axe Face Kick!

Axe, it's 8:35.

Axey, what are you doing?

Axey?! You're the head chopping vigilante?

Ay ay ay! Enough with the excuses.

Baba shalell, make $100

Babies are dumb. Next!

Babies are so dumb.

Baby grown up life and she won't need me anymore.

Baby made it. Baby Man made it on the team.

Baby Man.

Bad Santa,

Bang bang, bang bang!

Beautiful Girly Bobs,

Because cheetahs are super fast.

Because I am.

Because I didn't have to eat candy canes anymore.

Because I hate candy canes.

Because I know all there is to know about being a cop.

Because I was a baby with a mustache,

Because I'm a hero.

Because it didn't exist until now.

Because it's a poop cannon. It's controlled by pooping.

Because it's better than Thanksgiving?

Because that's where poop gets its power.

Because the zombie who ate the world's smartest brain

Because they died,

Because they were bad guys.

Because they were obviously evil.

Before I can shoot 'em.

Before we get started, we're gonna need you to fill out this form

Before you lock up.

Being the best jumper

Being thrown at little kids.

Best Fairy Ever

Best Fairy Ever from "Fairy Wars"!

Best Fairy Ever, you can't kill her.

Best Halloween costume ever.

Best in the business.

Boo ooo. They tore our historic tent!

Book Cop is nigh!

Book Cop put his two fingers into the earth

Book Cop studied and mastered the "Secret Attack Almanac."

Book Cop, my name's Stockerang.

Book Cop.

Book Eclipse Secret Attack!

Boomerang book Secret Attack.

Boy, I'm glad you guys got here when you did.

BOY: One day, at the scene of the fire

Boy: One day, at the scene of the fire, the cop found the perfect axe.

Bringing a certain kind of sweet justice

Bringing a girl onto the team could go a long way

But can you just waive the late fee this time?

But didn't like it.

But Flute Cop used his flute

But good job.

But he had no one to share it with...

But he said this thing about Baby Man turning bad.

But he's terrible at everything.

But how?

But I am going to find out.

But I made my parents let me

But I must warn you,

But I never gave you a name.

But I still think spending time with him taught you a very valuable lesson.

But I think I know who is.

But I thought you killed all the bad guys on the bad guy list

But I traded my axe for a wedding ring!

But I wanted you to be better.

But I will remember him as the guy that was my best friend

But I'll be busy blowing up the Earth.

But if the Earth blows up,

But if there's no candy,

But if your baby was turned into a night creature,

But in the end you avenged your parents' death.

But it was also the happiest day of my life

But it was locked in my unbreakable vault!

But it was so fast, my axe was invisible.

But it's birthday flavored. Your favorite.

But it's eight in the morning. Not at night.

But it's gonna be your favorite story.

But last time I checked the sun's too hot to touch.

But maybe this VHS tape can tell us

But not too self deprecating...

But nothing's gonna change.

But now that you're here,

But now,

But only during the day.

But Sergeant T was brave.

But since it is Thanksgiving,

But that was just a theory!

But that's just a baby.

But the sun helps keep earth babies safe...

But the war was far from over.

But then I got an idea

But there is something even better than friends.

But there was only one super winner

But there's always one who breaks all the rules

But there's no trigger. There's no trigger!

But they were making mean faces.

But this rabbit walked

But Uni Baby needs us.

But we are in a serious hurry.

But we need your help.

But what about the King of All Bad Guys?

But what my great great great

But what we didn't know was that chicken head

But whatever you want from me, forget it.

But why me?

But you are still kicking a little too high.

But you can't stop me.

But you didn't care.

But you heard the kid... None of the houses have candy.

But, Flute Cop, you're brothers.

But, you should be out killing bad guys.

But...

Buy something that makes something invisible.

By da order of da King of England,

By that logic, since we're good guys,

By the King of All Bad Guys and I'm helping him get them back!

By the power of Christmas,

Bye bye, little Uni Baby. Mommy wuv you.

Bye bye, red headed woman.

Bye bye.

C'mon, Axe Cop, let's go get em'!

Can fit on this thing at once.

Can I be on your team? (deep voice) No, you can't.

Can you wish for me to be Flute Cop again?

Can't he see we're on a night mission?

Can't you see? Deep down, Baby Man's not a bad guy.

Careful out there, Sergeant T!

Caw.

Check it out, bros. I brought my world famous string cheese

Check this out.

Cheer up? Without friends, I'm all alone in this world.

Cheerio!

Chemist M, the smartest man in the world.

Chicken head killed Sergeant T with one blast.

Chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream, por favor.

Chopping off a bad guy's head.

Chubby Doll is the best.

Come collect it from the baby pile.

Come in, Axe Cop!

Come on, let's go save the baby.

Come on.

Coming up this season on "Fairy Wars,"

Compared to the power of the human spirit.

Cool!

Cool. What is it?

Cops, shoot your guns!

Correct me if I'm wrong, Axe Cop,

Could also shoot giant lasers out of his mouth.

Could you possibly babysit Uni Baby for us?

Da "Secret Attack Almanac."

Da book for da baby!

Daddy!

Despite its name, Thanksgiving world is a very scary, dangerous planet

Did you miss daddy? Did you miss daddy?

Did you say stolen!? Oh boy, that's the worst!

Did you try the cul de sac up by the golf course?

Did you... kill all the aliens too?

Dinosaurs, follow wexter

Do you have chocolate milk?

Do you know how fast you were going, Axe Cop?

Do you know how I've been saving my money to get $100?

Do you still think babies are dumb?

Do you think she's on the dumb list too?

Do you understand? I know you understand.

Do you, Dr. Doo Doo, take this woman to be your wife?

Does that mean we get tomorrow off?

Don't even joke about something like that, Flute Cop,

Don't forget, you've got the opening shift at the fruit stand tomorrow

Don't kill the messenger, but I got some bad news.

Don't worry about him. The more brain those dinosaurs eat,

Don't worry, Season Man.

Don't worry.

Don't worry. It's a time portal gun.

Don't you know it. But nothing has changed.

Don't you mean dead headed woman?

Don't you remember what else he taught us?

Don't you remember what Professor Teevil taught us?

Don't you think I would have just bought one?

Dr. Doo doo is flying to London, England.

Dreams are just dreams. They're not real.

Dude, do you do all your own stunts, 'cause, um,

Dumb list? Well,

Eat, Uni Baby, eat!

Eh, not that you were ever good at that anyway.

Even if I have to wait for hundreds of years.

Even if that means killing you 4,001 times.

Even people on the dumb list, like girls.

Even though Adolf Hitler sent me here from London, England,

Ever!

Every morning I drink bulletproof juice,

Every year, I look for the perfect house with the most candy,

Everyone knows rabbits hop and eat carrots.

Everyone throughout time is now evil

Everyone throughout time will be turned evil

Everything does look better on a gold TV.

Everything he needed to survive on his own,

Evil mermaids.

Evil Rhino Man must be back from his evil safari!

Exactly!

Excuse me, friend? Hi.

Fabulous! What's your name?

Fatsozon returned to Uni Planet

Fatsozon!

Fife eagle Cop is now on money.

Fife Eagle Cop,

Fights her evil twin sister

Fine, we'll go check on Uni Baby.

Fine.

Fine. You guys stay here.

Fire Secret Attack!

Fire!

First name...

First, stop crying. I don't like it.

Flute Cop said we need to have a girl on the team.

Flute Cop said we should take Uni Baby to the park.

Flute Cop,

Flute Cop, I did it.

Flute Cop, I found her.

Flute Cop, now!

Flute Cop, Uni baby, how was your day together...

Flute Cop, we'll use your miles.

Flute Cop, we're switching boots.

Flute Cop! Let's get to work.

Flute Cop?

Flute Cop's taking me to Hawaii.

Flutey, let's go!

Follow him to cabin "B."

For cops and warriors downtown.

For most people yes. But not when you keep returning them late.

For my first birthday, I even asked for an axe rattle.

For now."

For you to finally eat your candy cane dinner,

Forever!

Foster kid, I couldn't find you a mom in Las Vegas

Found out about this place out in the deserts of Las Vegas

Freeze, Smartist Brothers.

Friends are great,

From completing my plan, which is to go to London, England,

From fighting college?

Front desk. How can I assist you?

Full grown man in a baby suit. (scoffs)

Gah! Who makes these machines, bad guys?

Gas prices are through the roof.

Get back here! That's my cop car!

Get me that book!

Get the monster truck ready, Al.

Gimme a sec, would ya, fella?!

Gimme that! I love paperwork.

Girls don't read books.

Go go!

Go inside the TV and save Best Fairy Ever!

Go, go!

Gobble gobble gobble.

Gobble gobble.

God, you were right, he is crazy.

Gold. Gold gold gold.

Gold. Gold. Gold. Gold.

Good night, foster son

Good Santa? Is that you?

Good talk.

Good work, my boy.

Good, because I have one more Secret Attack.

Gorillas are awesome.

Great great great grandfather didn't know

Great great great great grandfather.

Great, we're gonna have to act fast.

Great! Let's go to Magic World!

Great. I will call him... Wexter.

Great. Now she can't ruin any more band practices and night missions

Grey Diamond and I are going to Las Vegas.

Gross!

Guess what? My friends are all showing up in just a minute

Guys, we could get jobs at Tom's Fruit Stand.

Ha ha ha ha! What should we do with all this money?

Ha ha!

Ha, you missed.

Ha!

Ha. I don't need the book.

Half lion, half man.

Hanging out in the dark?

Happy die day, red coats!

Happy Fourth of July, bad guys!

Happy Thanksgiving, my evil pilgrims!

Has been passed down through my family for generations.

Has kidnapped Best Fairy Ever

Have fun, Axe Cop.

Have turned evil! They're gonna kill the baby!

Have you ever killed an alien?

He can dive bomb and throw razor sharp feathers hidden on his body.

He collects all the eggs, he bales all the hay,

He could be the ultimate son!

He could jump just a little bit into space

He dodged his master's attempts to clip his wings.

He escaped his torment and was able to grow

He filled Earth's core with bombs.

He had an army of chicks that shot drills out of their mouths

He lets me call him Thomas.

He looks, like, 15 lbs heavier. It's true what they say.

He milks the cows, the goats.

He said something about

He should have spikes that only stab you if you're a bad guy.

He thanked me for getting his bad guy machine back

He told you to meet him in the middle of space?

He was a huge chicken with a human head. [cheeping]

He was kidnapped by nazis and no one,

He was raised by falcons...

He wasn't any more specific?

He'd been breaking all the rabbit rules.

He's asleep because it's past his bedtime.

He's done talking.

He's just a dumb guy.

He's making Doo Doo soldiers!

He's missing! Axe Cop is missing!

He's not crazy.

He's probably still with the farmer.

He's... a hero.

Heh heh, nailed it.

Hello, Bad Santa.

Hello, welcome to the perfect match machine and wedding chapel.

Hello. You're on my team now.

Help her!

Help me, Axe Cop!

Her name is Uni Baby. She is from my planet.

Her real name was Poison Poison?

Here in the ocean, it's the bad guys that smile.

Here you go, Axey.

Here you go.

Here, give it a try.

Here's your cut, Axe Cop.

Here's your very own real axe.

Hey Axe Cop,

Hey everybody, look at me. I'm riding a train

Hey hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey oh!

Hey, army chihuahua,

Hey, Axe Cop with lemon. How much for a coconut?

Hey, Axe Cop, I hate to say it, but...

Hey, Axe Cop, what are your thoughts on mayonnaise?

Hey, Axe Cop! I've heard so much about you.

Hey, Axe Cop! Where have you been, bro?

Hey, Axe Cop. I just wanted to say

Hey, Baby Man. (laughs) How's tricks?

Hey, bros, let's all take a vacation together.

Hey, come on out, bro.

Hey, cyborgs!

Hey, didn't you say your candy bucket

Hey, don't forget. Today's Uni Baby's first day of baby school.

Hey, even I can handle that job, right?

Hey, farmer, is Axe Cop still there?

Hey, Flute Cop,

Hey, Flute Cop, call everyone I know

Hey, Flute Cop!

Hey, have you ever had coconut water?

Hey, I need your daily report

Hey, I think we should go back home and check on Uni Baby.

Hey, it's okay, buddy. Halloween's just getting started.

Hey, life vest on.

Hey, look at that, Anita! Axe Cop is having tryouts!

Hey, look at that. Little Baby Man's a genius.

Hey, look, even if I did want to go trick or treating,

Hey, look, over there!

Hey, man! Why'd you do that?

Hey, Sockarang, look what I drew.

Hey, where is Axe Cop?

Hey, you know what? If you're not doing anything,

Hey!

Hey! Axey, Flutey!

Hi. We want to kill bad guys.

His horn turns all metal into gold.

His name is Al.

History will remember him as a great fighter.

Hmm, if I adjust the caramellometers

Hmm. A cake vacation?

Hmm. Something fishy is going on.

Hmm. There goes all that foster dad money.

Hmmm, my tri annual learn out for kids

Hmmm.

Ho ho ho!

Ho ho ho.

Honestly, I think you'd look better with crazy pizza hair

Honey, it's 5:30, and look who's walking through the door

How about instead of yelling at him,

How are you alive?

How awesome could it be?

How dare you, zombie robot?!

How did they do that?

How did you know I wasn't gonna eat the cake?

How excited I am that you brought me onto the team.

How much are you going to pay me?

How much longer?

How much money did you make today, Axey?

How you think I'd look with a mohawk

How, you ask? Simple.

Huh? I mean, it did start off a bit rocky

Huh.

Huh. That's weird.

Hundreds of years passed.

Husband, what are you doing?

Hyah!

Hyah. It's glass, all right.

I accidentally killed your parents.

I alone have escaped to tell you.

I also got myself some monster gloves for Halloween.

I also swore to never eat another candy cane

I am giving him rockets for arms.

I am making everyone in the world poop their pants!

I am not concerned with fire.

I am The Queen of London, England!

I beg you... do not go to Thanksgiving planet.

I bet they can punch really hard.

I bet they know where my friends are. Let's go!

I bet you don't get to kill a lot of bad guys doing that.

I call it... Magic World.

I called him Liborg!

I can create a potion that will turn zombies good,

I can do an infinite amount of reps of everything.

I can finish my father's work.

I can put a piece of your brain in his.

I can't be your dad.

I can't believe it.

I can't do this anymore, Dinosaur Soldier.

I can't tell you. It's so secret...

I can't wait to tell my pregnant wife

I can't wait to tell Tracy

I chopped it off. You're welcome.

I chubby wubby you!

I chubby wubby you! Ha ha ha ha!

I could be, uh, you know, I don't know.

I could have sworn you had a head.

I did it.

I do like kissing an avocado way more than I like kissing a dinosaur.

I don't fill out forms, Todd.

I don't know. I think some are good and some are bad,

I don't know. They both seem terrible.

I don't know...

I don't like you. I'm gonna hide this

I don't poop.

I don't understand?!

I don't want to get into it.

I don't work the day shift or the night shift.

I dreamt that we'd be saved by a man

I enjoy a good poop.

I go on a night mission.

I got a better idea.

I got a better night mission for you.

I gotta go.

I gotta jump this ramp to prove to my best friend

I gotta run. See ya later!

I grant Axe Cop

I guess you win some and I guess you lose some,

I guess you're right. And truth be told,

I had a feeling you were behind all this.

I had to work hard to get them.

I happen to have this cake coupon right here.

I happened to push this button on my best friend calling watch,

I hate babysitting.

I hate normal cops.

I hate vacations.

I hated candy canes.

I hated rainbow cherry the most.

I have a better idea.

I have a coupon.

I have a rigorous exercise routine.

I have a super secret mystery attack

I have band practice.

I have it all... in my head.

I have the power of Christmas!

I have three world records.

I have to go behind that house so no one can see me do it.

I have to know for sure. Axe Cop, will you help me?

I have... nothing to report.

I haven't chopped a head in ages.

I hope you like being dead, Dr. Doo Doo.

I hope you like dying

I jumped all the way into outer space.

I just we called ourselves the minute me

I just can't help but think Axe Cop is in trouble.

I just flew in through his nose

I just pushed a button on my axe

I just thought we could get to know each other a little bit.

I just tied you up and killed you.

I killed everyone on the bad guy list.

I killed your children because they were evil.

I knew it.

I knew my mom wouldn't understand,

I knew what you were gonna get me,

I know a house that has the best candy.

I know a real hero that can help save the world.

I know I speak for everybody when I say,

I know I'm safe...

I know you can do it, Axe Cop.

I know you understand.

I know you're just doing your job, officer,

I know.

I know. But she can! Rah!

I know. That's why I'm in a band.

I learned that if you're going to kill something,

I let Baby Man kill me

I like my Thanksgiving dinner well rested.

I like to study all my moves.

I like you and it's pretty clear you like me too.

I live in a house with two invisible doors,

I locked her in the closet because she poops and cries too much.

I lost everything in the casinos of Las Vegas.

I love killing zombies.

I love presents.

I love you too.

I love you, man.

I mean, Axe Cop's not the kind of guy to call a meeting.

I mean, can you think of a better place to go on vacation?

I mean, chances are he wouldn't pick me, but...

I mean, come on.

I mean, they grow up so fast. Baby school already?

I met up with my best friend:

I miss... my... sons.

I need 30 TV sets and 30 VCRs brought to my room

I never thought I'd say this to a girl before,

I now pronounce you

I offered him a glass of poison blow up juice

I only wear underwear that has a picture of me

I play my axe and I'm obviously the lead singer.

I programmed the cyborgs to watch Uni Baby

I pushed a button on my chest

I ran past 1,000 bad guys

I recently uncovered these lost Nazi files.

I remember that.

I said dinosaurs follow wexter!

I saw a lot of losers turn to winners this weekend.

I spent Bational Axe Cop Day stealing back my bad guy machine!

I still have one life left.

I swore then that I would find and kill the man...

I think I know exactly what to get you.

I think I'm gonna give that Anita girl from the cop station a call.

I think we still have some buttered noodles left in the fridge.

I think you're ready for something more advanced.

I think you're talking about a foster dad.

I though we were on va cake tion.

I thought I'd miss killing bad guys, but selling fruit,

I thought so too.

I thought you were a hero, Super Axe.

I tried it once,

I understand we returned it late,

I used to be an army man and I had a pet chihuahua.

I waited in line all month

I wanna tell you something about me that you probably don't know

I want to hear you say baby's on the team.

I want to take you and Anita up on that dinner.

I wanted to be on your team.

I was a good boy.

I was born in the year 2004

I was eight years old.

I was going to go until I could beat jump man

I was medium.

I was trying to kill you.

I was updating the list of all bad guys on earth,

I watched all your awesome fights

I went to jump school,

I will be your foster dad

I will chop your heads off!

I will drop you folks off!

I wish Anita was here, she'd love that joke.

I wish for all poop to go into space

I wish for Baby Man to not be dumb anymore.

I wish for Flute Cop to turn into Ghost Cop!

I wish for my cold coffee to be hot coffee

I wish for...

I wish I could entertain you,

I wish to be a bad guy.

I won the war and returned home

I won the war!

I work the always shift.

I wrote down exactly what happened

I...

I... am...

I... looked for the horn, and I just couldn't find it.

I... was right.

I'll be in my office practicing breaking out of chains,

I'll be right there.

I'll chop your evil dinosaur heads off!

I'll chop your head oh no.

I'll chop your head off again!

I'll chop your head off!

I'll chop your head... Bat Warthog Man?!

I'll dream up the perfect father

I'll get you, Smartist Brothers!

I'll give you your uniforms

I'll have a piece of birthday cake.

I'll have an apple juice, no ice.

I'll have H.R. send over some resumes

I'll just put it in a tupperware thing then.

I'll see you guys later. Tell my wife I didn't make it.

I'm a good guy now.

I'm a right now man.

I'm afraid that really doesn't help us.

I'm also gonna need a birthday cake.

I'm Axe Cop.

I'm babysitting. It's Flute Cop.

I'm best friends with Tom, the owner.

I'm Book Cop

I'm doing it, Book Cop. I'm winning the war!

I'm done trick or treating...

I'm dying, Axe Cop.

I'm evil

I'm exactly the same.

I'm excited to be on the team.

I'm glad Flute Cop made me hire you.

I'm going nuts here!

I'm going nuts out here!

I'm going to be...

I'm going to blow this baby's head off!

I'm going to call you Avocado Soldier now.

I'm going to call you Dinosaur Soldier.

I'm going to have to kill you the old fashioned way...

I'm going to have to report you

I'm going to kill the British Army.

I'm going to kill the King of England.

I'm going to make you watch me.

I'm going to rip you apart and peck you to death.

I'm going to say this loudly because I want it to be very clear.

I'm going to tell you

I'm gonna buy an ocean. Fill it with good water.

I'm gonna eat all of the candy all at the same time! Yay!

I'm gonna go back in time

I'm gonna have an apple g**** juice.

I'm here celebrating my anniversary.

I'm imagining myself with different hair

I'm just gonna swing by Baby Man's Baby Cave,

I'm leaving now.

I'm not a hero anymore.

I'm not feeding you any more food.

I'm not looking to work at a glove store the rest of my life.

I'm not your ultimate son.

I'm on the phone with the dinosaur horn store.

I'm proud of you. You're not just my foster son,

I'm really good at fitting into tight spaces.

I'm safe and I'm home early for game night.

I'm saying that rhetorically. I don't want to know.

I'm serious.

I'm so glad we had two children, Axey and Flutey.

I'm sorry I told you to take that kid under your wing.

I'm sorry to bother you, but, uh,

I'm sorry, your room won't be ready until 4:00.

I'm sure we can clear this up.

I'm sure...

I'm thankful I'm spending my last moments with you.

I'm the smartest man in the universe.

I'm trying to talk over you

I'm trying to watch this gold TV.

I'm trying, just give me a second.

I'm turning everything in my house gold

I'm your ultimate enemy, the soul of your first kill.

I've already eaten it all.

I've been expecting you

I've been very mean to you since we met.

I've been waiting for this moment my entire life.

I've been without my father my whole life

I've come too far to have you stop me

I've got dibs all night, dude.

I've heard that guy is awesome. Maybe I should try out.

I've hit every house in the city.

I've memorized the whole thing.

I've never seen anything like this.

If I knew you were gonna stick me with these hidden costs,

If I were missing, how could I be here?

If I'm not mistaken, that was exactly 10 years ago.

If they bite us, we'll turn evil.

If we bite them they might turn good.

If we wanna buy more bullets, we're going to have to get second jobs.

If we're not gonna use guns, how are we gonna kill bad guys?

If you don't start shooting bad guys,

If you ever need my help, give me a call. Here's my card.

If you're here for Grey Diamond's "best friend" seminar,

If your baby is still human,

Impossible. This bowl was just filled with those big sized candy bars...

In a blink of an eye, I'll be taking her to baby college.

In case there's any question,

In hell!

In my 20 years of working here

In space!

In the dead carcass of my brother.

In the morning, I usually find a broken window

Including the poison cake Secret Attack

Into a cybernetic body with a lion's head

Into a giant Turkey with huge wings.

Into baby night creatures."

Intruders! Freeze, Magic Police!

Is because I buried myself

Is it really you this time or are you a night creature?

Is the only thing that gives me

Is who lives closest to your house.

Isabella! No!

It can't! And from now on,

It contains all of my top secret documents.

It don't have to.

It forms a super blue diamond axe?

It gave young Book Cop great power.

It glows in the dark. It can light up the whole world.

It just turns me into Axe Cop Fire!

It really means that he likes you.

It sounds wrong.

It took a whole month, but I finally collected 1,000 candies!

It was a rabbit.

It was Bad Santa

It was just her baby horn and it fell out.

It was self deprecating,

It will scan your brain and find your perfect match.

It would seem our men weren't able to retrieve da book.

It's a huge deal. Because of you, all the babies on earth

It's a mystery.

It's a suicide mission.

It's amazing what $100 can buy you,

It's awesome!

It's Axe Cop. It's Axe Cop, go!

It's been like this all night, Axe Cop.

It's broken for sure.

It's cooler and I know a shortcut...

It's day 28.

It's different, but still fun.

It's filled with a lot of good rabbits.

It's good at any beach resort in the whole world.

It's great, but you gotta get there early

It's how I learned all my Secret Attacks,

It's just like the laboratory he had back at home.

It's like all the candy on earth is gone!

It's like off tune, right? What is that?

It's making me so tired.

It's my personal favorite.

It's not a hidden cost. It's a late fee.

It's not even in a big box.

It's on another planet. There.

It's pretty cool.

It's the chief of the normal police.

It's the normal cops.

It's the water inside a coconut

It's time for you to become a hero,

It's time. Do it now.

It's where he makes his bad guys.

Jo oooy!

Joanie, Potsie, Rrichie, Ralph Malph,

Just give me my keys.

Just kidding, thanks for getting here so fast, man.

Just like all of them.

Just open it, will you?

Just sign? That's it?

Just to show you my moves.

Just you like you do.

Keep going to jump school every year.

Keep looking.

Kill him.

Killed... good guys?

Killing the guy who killed your friends.

King and Queen of London, England.

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be amazed

Ladies and gentlemen, these are fake magicians!

Laser high five!

Last name "Rabbit,"

Last night, when I killed 7,000 bad guys.

Leave my baby Book Cop alone!

Let him eat my brains so I can turn into a zombie too,

Let me get you some candy.

Let me out!

Let me pull up my T.T.F..

Let's get to choppin'.

Let's go buy more guns to rob more banks.

Let's go to my uni lab and consult my C.T.M...

Let's go!

Let's have a little play date. Back at my... Baby Man cave

Let's hide in that dark cave.

Let's just say it'll never erupt again.

Let's kill them!

Let's move!

Let's see how this plays out.

Let's see if you think we're so dumb after we beat you up!

Light you on fire.

Like an axe rattle that a baby would have.

Like ninjas.

Like your ultimate dad.

Listen to me, and listen good.

Listen to me, Axe Cop.

Listen, this man's friends were stolen

Little Ray? Is that you?

London, England, where we all live.

London, England? But why?

Look at how they put all this juice in boxes.

Look at this present we got you!

Look at this! Now I'm no videologist,

Look at us, huh? On the beach, in the sun.

Look, roundhouse.

Look, they're all here to congratulate me.

Look, you're a father now.

Look!

Looks like we're finally done for, good buddy.

Lots of things happen the way they don't happen.

Magic World is so magical, I could cry.

Make it quick, Flute Cop.

Make that hole filly well!

Man!

Man! I haven't seen you since fighting college.

Man's friends are or I will chop your head off!

Marry the queen and use her scepter

Maybe he's going to give everyone free gelato.

Maybe we should just let them go.

Maza lapapell babalel laba lell sabba sell!

Me and you living at the center of time

Me, a bad guy?

Meanwhile, in London, England.

Memory of Sergeant T by joining in your mission.

Mm mm.

Mm, Flute Cop made me do it.

Mm, no.

Mm. What is this?

Mmm, they should be machine guns.

Mmm?

Mmm.

Mmm. Hot coffee.

Mmm. It tastes like carrots, celery and onions.

More fighting tapes for me to watch later.

Morning, honey. You want breakfast?

Morning, ma'am.

Move it, ladies!

Move out of the way!

Move!

Muah.

Music for parking in the dark while in rock creek park.

Must have shot a million bad guys out there today.

My best friend is so cool. One time, we were at this pizza place...

My best friend, Sergeant T, was killed in the war.

My body is 100 percent efficient

My brilliant brain!

My buddy Lliborg says it's all done with pulleys and string.

My candy tracking machine.

My fairy parents always told me that when a boy is mean to you,

My father was a carpenter, and my mother was a schoolteacher.

My favorite part is hanging out with all my best friends,

My favorite part is the fireworks.

My free poison soda secret attack?

My name is Axe Cop.

My name is Flute Cop.

My name is Isabella M. My father was

My name is Uni Man. I'm from Uni Planet.

My parents died.

My pleasure, Season Man.

My secret potion is almost complete.

My team and I are on va cake tion.

My third world record was the hardest to get.

My Turkey Turkey file.

My zombie robot is finally ready for launch!

Neither. I'm a head meat guy.

Never!

Next time I fall asleep,

Next, he goes hunting in the magic forest.

Next.

Nice try, Turkey Turkey.

Night creatures.

Nighty nighty.

No ahhh.

No big deal.

No night creature can kiss like that.

No no no! I'll shoot bad guys. I promise.

No no no! Oh! What?! I wanted to be normal.

No no no. Axe Cop and I will grab something on the way to work.

No no no. This is a mean face.

No one has any candy.

No one knew her name. Not even me.

No oooo!

No time, Dinosaur Soldier.

No time. Super axe and I are going back in time

No, Axe Cop did it.

No, but we can create cyborg versions of ourselves

No, I no, I was waiting for the 6th,

No, I always win some.

No, I am. What's wrong with your voice?

No, I did it.

No, I didn't.

No, I don't want to!

No, I hear because you're judging me.

No, I killed them.

No, I'll take it to go. I've got to get

No, it won't. Bad guys don't pay.

No, please! Not the night creatures.

No, the King of All Bad Guys.

No, we'll take my car.

No!

No! Stop!

No! Uni baby!

No.

No. (crying)

No. I don't play or go on dates with babies.

No. I was on a night mission.

No. Send Chubby Doll back.

No. That's boring.

No...

Nope, his brain is made mostly of bad brain cells.

Nope, I'm looking through a book about gorillas.

Nope, just sign and suit on up.

Not a bad way to kick off your birthday month, I'd say.

Not a chance.

Not anymore, he's not.

Not during my birthday month.

Not even me, knows where they took him.

Not if I kill you 4,001 times first.

Not if we drive through this police barricade!

Not me, I never cry.

Not me.

Not my dreams. Everything I dream comes true.

Not so fast. I have the perfect secret attack

Not to worry. I'm gonna show you the ropes,

Not unless you have $15, I'm not.

Nothing?! You didn't pick up any customers?

Nothing. Everyone from London, England, has to talk like this.

Now bye.

Now go back into that TV and leave me alone forever!

Now go bite your evil friends, good robot!

Now go to London, England, where I am from

Now hand over the candy, lady.

Now hurry it up! I'm never going to get

Now I can.

Now I gotta go get to my night class.

Now I will summon the dinosaurs

Now I'm a husband. Ooh! Speaking of which,

Now I'm sure everyone is wondering why Axe Cop

Now if you're here for Sockarang's Sockattacks 101,

Now kill Fatsozon!

Now let's go kill some sun thieves!

Now let's go kill that evil rhinoceros!

Now let's go save our daughter.

Now let's split up and look for clues

Now let's start carrying the sun towards earth.

Now that's a birthday present.

Now that's the spirit of Thanksgiving.

Now the thing to consider when picking a best friend

Now they're richer than we are.

Now we'll be out of work.

Now you're the King of dying.

Now, Chemist M,

Now, for my favorite part of being a jewel thief...

Now!

Now? Uhhh, oh oh okay. I think...

Obviously.

Of course I do.

Of course I picked up customers. But they all ran off without paying.

Of course we did.

Of course you are.

Of course you did, Chemist M

Of course you don't. It's invisible.

Of course, but don't stay out too late.

Of course, sir.

Of course! How can Turkey compete with candy?

Oh daddy.

Oh hey, Axe Cop!

Oh hey, Axe Cop. Everything okay?

Oh hey, Ray. You can put the gun down.

Oh ho ho ho. Wow.

Oh honey, I wish I could go with you. I feel like I'm missing everything.

Oh look, coconuts!

Oh look, fireworks!

Oh man. Anita's gonna kill me.

Oh my God. I'm too late. Axe Cop's dead.

Oh my goodness, it's father's laboratory!

Oh my gosh, we had such an amazing time.

Oh my gosh! My friends! You're all alive!

Oh my gosh. Where's her horn?!

Oh no, an evil Griffin!

Oh no, everyone in the world has pooped themselves to death.

Oh no, it's tryptophan.

Oh no, those people just got video

Oh no, where's Axe Cop?

Oh no! Axe Cop, it's mirepoix!

Oh no! I got dinosaur blood on me.

Oh no! They're real.

Oh no.

Oh no. [panting] I forgot to feed you!

Oh no. No!

Oh really? Well, what brings you to our little ol' planet?

Oh whoa! Look what I just did!

Oh yeah, you did it!

Oh yeah? They don't they don't sound too bad. What'd they do?

Oh yeah.

Oh, and don't mess with Uni Baby's horn,

Oh, aren't you just adorable?

Oh, Axe Cop! It's the United States' President and he wants to talk to you.

Oh, Axe Cop! Last year, me and a couple buddies

Oh, beautiful.

Oh, Book Cop, no!

Oh, did he? (chuckles evilly)

Oh, for real? Oh, you're not going to regret this.

Oh, God, why did you have to make sharks so evil?

Oh, good. And uh...

Oh, gorgeous.

Oh, hey, Axe Cop.

Oh, hi. Uh, can I help you?

Oh, I forgot to put on sunblock. Grey Diamond, am I red?

Oh, I knew he'd like it. I told you guys!

Oh, I'm never getting this horn back on time.

Oh, look at this. What do we got here?

Oh, man. Whoo!

Oh, not bad,

Oh, not what I was thinking.

Oh, okay. Can I pay you later?

Oh, see, now that's what I expect...

Oh, smoky.

Oh, there it is! The "Secret Attack Almanac"!

Oh, we used to tear it up back then.

Oh, you're getting cooked.

Oh!

Oh! That actually sounds pretty bad.

Oh? Not according to the daily report I'm going to file.

Oh. Hey... Axe Cop.

Oh... my... gosh.

Ohhhh yeah.

Okay, great. Meeting over.

Okay, look, bro, we don't have time for your back story. Right, axe?

Okay, okay! Stop honking.

Okay, so first he sneaks into the farmer's farm...

Okay, so where is this Liborg now?

Okay, Uni Baby.

Okay, we will. Bye.

Okay.

Okay. Do it.

Okay. Whatever you say, Axe Cop.

On a little romantic getaway for our anniversary.

On this here one dollar bill.

On zombie island

Once a hero, always a hero.

Once I put this good frog

Once knew someone in the great chicken head war...

One day, at the scene of a car auction,

One day, at the scene of the fire

One day, at the scene of the fire,

One day, at the scene of the fire.

One for my pet dinosaur and one for me.

One new wish.

One time me and my buddy filled out like 10 forms at once.

Only if you tell me...

Only the slightest chance he's still alive,

Only to discover I hadn't fed my pet chihuahua.

Only when I am not ready to fight.

Ooh. It looks like a miracle of mermaids.

Oooh chihuahua, Axe Cop,

Oooh, I love babies!

Oops, missed one.

Or $100 minus $15. So $85.

Or I'll chop off your head. Now quiet down,

Or not. Axe Cop,

Or the truth... is...

Our gun bill was through the roof last month. Holy cow.

Our parents named us all the same.

Over that awesome ramp.

Ow!

Paper Cut Secret Attack!

Perfect

Perfect.

Perhaps my army of evil, biting robots

Pick seven.

Pick up your wooden axes and follow me.

Plus, she can be super helpful around the office

Poison Tidal Wave Secret Attack!

Poo oop!

Poop himself to death!

Pouncing tiger kick!

Problem solved, Flute Cop.

Protect the book, baby Book Cop!

Protect the book!

Protect the King, you fools!

Psst, Axe Cop. Over here!

Psst, kid, you asleep?

Pull over, Axe Cop.

Pull up a chair and join us.

Queen, you may give him your scepter.

Quick! Let's get out of here. Follow me.

Quiet, baby!

Race you!

Rainbow cherry candy canes are my greatest weakness.

Rainbow cherry?

Rainbow cherry? I love it!

Rained down on Fife Cop,

Raise your hand

Raising a child is a huge responsibility.

Really? Great.

Really? That's it? There's no training?

Really? That's the saddest thing I ever heard.

Really? When did this happen?

Revolution is upon us.

Right after I kill your girlfriend, I'm going to kill you.

Right before the pork was coming out

Right? No?

Right.

Rise and shine, Axe Cop!

Ruled by the one and only "Turkey Turkey"

Run!

Save your strength... for dying.

Say hello to my parents...

Say it. I want to hear you say it.

Second, did you say your friends were stolen?

See how Uni Baby is doing?

See if everything's okay.

See that hole?

See, right here,

See?

See? Over there.

Seems to be heading to Thanksgiving World.

Sergeant T. We were at war with chicken head.

Seriously, Axe Cop,

Seriously, I'm married.

Seriously, we're out of gas.

Setting the children free!

Shake what your baby gave you.

She already pooped.

She is not my girlfriend!

She liked my joke. You remember my joke?

She never had time to cook a full dinner,

She turned them all evil!

She was a pretty girl who could not speak.

She was on my list of all bad guys

She was sent to Earth as a distraction by Fatsozon,

She'll be just living her baby grown up life.

She's fine.

She's not evil. She's just a girl.

She's with Axe Cop.

Shh shh shh shh. Okay, okay. They're gone.

Shh.

Shh. We don't have time to hear about your friend.

Shhh, she's trying to tell us something.

Shhh!

Should have killed you a thousand times!

Since I already know about the butler,

Smells like baby powder.

So any bullet that hits me just bounces off

So buckle up, Ghost Cop,

So do I...

So he had tryouts and hired a partner.

So he hired his brother.

So he should be here right about...

So he'll be a good guy from now on... a really dumb good guy.

So how do you prefer to die, acid or sharks?

So I can watch movies I made of me fighting.

So I chopped its head off.

So I could come back as a ghost and untie myself.

So I could kill them. Clearly.

So I hid his head in my favorite lunch box

So I spit it in a bad guy's face and he died.

So I was thinking of taking Anita

So I went ahead and bought it for myself.

So I went to the jungle and I knocked out a lion.

So ooo great. Yeah.

So she served us candy canes for every meal.

So that leaves me with no choice.

So they send them into space in baby spaceships.

So what bad guy did you kill last night?

So what brings you to Hawaii?

So what did I get you anyway?

So what've you been doing all these years

So you can imagine my excitement

So you can turn back into a man whenever you want?

So, Axe Cop,

So, Axe Cop, I've been thinking

So, Axe Cop, what's the important mission?

So, boss, what bad guys are we killing today?

So, ugh, where's the, uh, where's the baby?

So, uh, what do you want to do now?

So, uh, you have any plans tonight?

So, when he strolls out here, casually eating a coconut,

So...

Sockarang on the telephone!

Sockarang plays guitar. Wexter plays violin.

Sockarang, I'm at Flute Cop's house babysitting.

Sockarang, lock the bad guy machine in the unbreakable vault.

Sockattack! Sockattack!

Some head chopping maniac has been getting to the bad guys

Some people have families.

Some people have other things to do.

Someone had poisoned their candy cane dinner.

Someone is stealing the sun.

Someone just chopped the robber's head off.

Something's weird.

Sometimes a baby will accidentally push

Son, you are a disappointment.

Son!? Where do you think you're going?

Sorry, Axe Cop, but...

Sorry, sir. We're no longer serving breakfast.

Sorry, we're closed. We're a daytime store.

South Pole Planet.

Spinning tornado kick!

Stop it right there, Beautiful Girly Bob.

Stop right there, evil red headed woman!

Stop. Stop.

Suffice to say, a lot of good mermaids' heads were cut off.

Suit yourself, amigo. (imitates train)

Super Axe, what's going on?

Super Axe!

Super fast.

Sure does love books.

Sure, I wish for Avocado Soldier to be a gorilla

Surprise!

Surrender or we will shoot you

Take this man to be your husband?

Talking frog?

Teleportation Secret Attack!

Teleported them to space jail, huh?

Tell me something I don't know, Todd.

Tell that to Mr. Doo Doo.

Tell that to the sun, genius.

Thank you, God, for maKing sharks so evil.

Thanks for dreaming me up, Axe Cop.

Thanks for saving my life and my important documents.

Thanks to the "Secret Attack Almanac."

Thanks to you,

That all of his chores have been done for him.

That book doesn't exist. It's ju ju just a myth.

That did this to my parents.

That he is married and has quadruplets.

That her husband still has a little hero left in him.

That I'm not chicken. [chuckles]

That is slowly transforming her into one of them.

That knows you two are brothers.

That must be the bad guy King's secret lab.

That must mean her adult horn is coming in, huh?

That only a man with the power of babies could provide.

That poisoned tidal wave

That son of a gun never showed up!

That sounds pretty fair to me.

That was my first time being a hero.

That was the day he became

That was the day he became Axe Cop!

That was the day he became...

That was the day he became... Axe Cop!

That was the night creatures dressed up to look like us!

That wasn't us!

That way we can stay here in Magic World

That will defeat the British once and for all.

That would really give you two some father foster son bonding time.

That'll be $15.

That's a cute little one, isn't it?

That's a good move.

That's a nice...

That's a secret you shall take to your grave.

That's boring. This is how to kill bad guys.

That's Dr. Doo Doo to you, Axe Cop.

That's exactly where he told us to meet him.

That's how I got the world record for highest jumper

That's ice cream for Italians.

That's impossible.

That's impossible. Zombies don't poop.

That's just a story you read to your baby to scare it.

That's madness. Who would steal the sun?

That's my "Let Yourself Die And Turn Into A Ghost" Secret Attack!

That's my daddy on the telly

That's not what happened.

That's odd.

That's perfect. There's a superhero glove store

That's the King of All Bad Guys.

That's too much potassium.

That's true, but you're missing the point.

That's when I jumped up in the air

That's when I want you to chop his head off.

That's why I spy on people.

That's why I'm going to find him a mom to take care of him.

That's why it's called a late fee

That's why we need sun picking up gloves.

That's... weird but cool.

The "Secret Attack Almanac"

The "Secret Attack Almanac" shall be mine,

The baby saved the day!

The beginning of time should be teeming

The best part of your costume? You can fly through bad guys

The British are coming! The British are coming!

The candle is supposed to be of me holding up two axes!

The cop found the perfect axe

The cop found the perfect axe.

The dinosaurs are eating his brains!

The evil red headed woman... got away.

The farmer said Axe Cop never showed up

The fastest.

The first is for the most axe blades

The first thing I do is print out a list of bad guys to kill

The fourth day in July Of every year.

The free poison soda secret attack.

The good news: Chemist M was working on a potion

The happiest day of my life was the day my parents died

The Hey Over There Secret Attack...

The kid just needs some encouragement.

The King! Protect the King!

The lobster backs are upon us like the pox.

The Magic Police are the slowest police.

The majestic blood from the bald eagle

The night creatures are going to throw us off that cliff.

The night creatures have Uni Baby?

The night creatures live in a secret cave in the center of the earth.

The ocean is safe again.

The only reason I survived this long

The only reason I'm recommending you buy it is to save you money.

The perfect axe.

The point is I have three world records

The power of evil is nothing

The Queen of London, England,

The red headed woman captured them.

The second is for being the world's fastest chopper.

The ship's 'get out' button.

The sound in here is weird.

The sun thieves.

The sun's not setting. It's being stolen.

The surgery is going to involve removing the part of the brain

The ultimate man,

The wife and I have this couples spa treatment right about now, so...

The world needs me.

Their babies back in time.

Then acid sharks it is.

Then Axe Cop mails one dead animal

Then I can find my zombie father,

Then I showed up and killed Fatsozon

Then I wish for all aliens to be bad so we can kill them.

Then I'm gonna train all the sharks to do tricks for me.

Then no girl can be on his team.

Then one day I got a telephone call

Then something bad happened...

Then why is the sun setting, genius?

Then you shouldn't have been born a rabbit.

Then you're going to have to remarry

There are no more bad guys on earth.

There are our two newest cops.

There is literally not a single woman on this planet

There is no important mission.

There is one more bad guy on the list.

There is one serious side effect.

There it is. We're gonna have to be quiet.

There! I shot you because you're bad!

There's a giant robot destroying the city.

There's a huge grey area

There's just one problem, Axe Cop,

There's no more bad guys for us to fight.

There's no more candy left in the universe.

There's no such thing as an evil mermaid.

There's no time. We have to save the sun.

There's no way he could be my foster son.

There's no way out! We're all gonna die!

There's one kick I didn't teach you

There's only one Axe Cop,

There's only one problem:

There's only one problem...

There's something about the little fat one. I can't quite...

There's something I gotta do.

These guys seem pretty sorry about all this.

They are top secret designs for a dinosaur.

They contain my father's exact location.

They have a roller coaster on top of a hotel.

They know me!

They named me...

They signed the form and everything.

They sometimes called me "Baby Mario."

They stole the president's good guy machine

They were 7th graders. Unfortunately their mom...

They will never stop growing.

They're good zombies. I can tell by their smiles.

They're perfect for my Wolveye costume.

They're super fast. And I put that brain

They're the best brothers.

They've put Uni Baby inside a very special kind of moon rock

Things like "rebuilding your house" powers

This ain't a job for normal cops.

This cake is all wrong.

This dinosaur horn back to the dinosaur horn store

This doesn't look like a regular cave.

This giant robot wouldn't happen to be named Psydrozon, would it?

This guy's friends were stolen by the King of All Bad Guys.

This has got to be the happiest day of your life,

This hole in the stroller, it's a cannon.

This horn has to be back in an hour.

This is a pretty good kickoff day

This is a story about my great great great

This is an outrage.

This is father's laboratory!

This is no time for eating or pooping!

This is only the beginning.

This is ridiculous. Where are their wands?

This is Rockin' Robin on your 8 0 dial,

This is the chief of the normal police.

This is the chief of the normal police. We need your help.

This is the farmer.

This is the place

This is the place.

This is the worst birthday ever!

This is weird,

This is your last chance, alien baby!

This jump leads to space... and that's really high.

This volcano was about to erupt

This was gonna be my baby headquarters

This was not one of those times.

This year we're not having Turkey.

This year, we're celebrating my birthday all month.

Those candy canes were meant for you.

Those two will be inseparable forever.

Three, four, five dollars.

Through the bad guy machine,

Throw this head in the head trash.

Time for Axe Cop to go on a night mission.

To 1,000 candies at this rate.

To arms!

To Bobber and Gobber Smartist.

To charm the volcano.

To come out and steal earth babies.

To cook on Thanksgiving.

To create an evil zombie army, I have been working on a cure.

To death.

To eat the King's brains. [inhales]

To every family in the world

To have to win this war on your own,

To kill god and become jesus.

To marry your wife and take care of your quadruplets.

To save her, we need to be very sneaky.

To stop the red headed woman from turning everyone evil.

To summon the dinosaurs to eat his brains.

To take over the world. Zombies, get him!

To the commissioner of the normal police!

To the queen's palace!

To the year 0000

To tie up some loose ends.

To transform the babies

To turn into a chihuahua when I am ready to fight.

To uni planet!

To Uni Planet!

To use for such an occasion:

To walk through those gingerbread doors ever since

To watch over her.

To your birthday month, huh, Axe Cop?

Today, I, Dr. Doo Doo,

Too bad. I don't want her pooping.

Too late. I just did.

Too old to be trick or treating alone.

Took the world's smartest poop.

Tracy doesn't exist anymore.

Tracy, this is my old college buddy I was telling you about.

Transforming him into Fife Eagle Cop.

Trick or treat!

True, it was the saddest day of my life

Try it again, but lower.

Trying on all the stolen jewelry.

Turkey Turkey!

U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A.!

Ugh, fine.

Ugh, gross.

Ugh!

Ugh. [all yelp]

Ugh. I'm going home.

Uh oh, where's her horn?

Uh, Axe Cop...

Uh, Flute Cop? Yeah, Flute Cop.

Uh, hey, bro.

Uh, honey, can't we just try Axe Cop again?

Uh, I can pay you $15.

Uh, just sign up here.

Uh, my uncle doesn't have a flying dinosaur.

Uh, now you're smiling.

Uh, this just a big misunderstanding, mate.

Uh, what?

Uh, where's her horn?

Uh, your majesty,

Uh... You.

Ultimate son, what has gotten into you?

Um, as it holds great power.

Uni Baby, where are you?

Uni baby, you're alive.

Uni Baby. Don't worry. Mommy and daddy are here.

Uni Man, I saved two planets.

Uni Man, what can you tell us about this disgusting baby?

Uni Planet is very far. We won't make it there on time.

Uni Planet was taken over by the Evil Fatsozon

Unless you think it was. You think she hates me?

Uno! Ha!

Until your parents come home.

Until...

Voice like an angel.

Wa wa wait, I see something I want.

Wait, hold on a second.

Wait, if I save Best Fairy Ever,

Wait, wait. There's your uncle. On his flying dinosaur.

Wait, what the

Wait, what?

Wait, what's going on? Order off the dinner menu?

Wait! That's Isabella and her father!

Wait! What?

Warning! Warning!

Was eaten by a zombie before he finished it.

Was that the war was only a diversion

Was walk around

Watch this.

Wave of Fire Secret Attack!

We ♪ know ♪.

We all heard it. I heard it daddy.

We all know that Baby Man's a good guy.

We are not killing anyone today.

We are rich now!

We call ourselves the minute men.

We can be there in 10, 15 minutes at the most.

We can find more bad guys to kill on other planets.

We do not want to miss the luau tonight.

We got g**** juice, we have apple juice,

We gotta stop them before they disappear into that black hole.

We have a Chinese wrestler on a bear to play flute

We have an evil rhinoceros to kill!

We have an extra super secret birthday gift.

We have an important mission.

We have to throw the sun on the count of...

We just may get this horn back on time after all.

We killed all the bad guys. It's over.

We live in a residential neighborhood.

We lost 'em.

We named him appropriately.

We need to find them, kill them,

We need to go kill Dr. Doo Doo.

We need to go on an important mission!

We need to go, now.

We need to see if this thing can do stunts.

We need to take your babies until this blows over for safe keeping.

We shoot bad guys with our guns.

We start our new jobs in the morning. A whole new life starts tomorrow.

We want to help you on your mission to kill evil Rhino Man.

We're called The Axe.

We're done here.

We're getting married.

We're getting out of here!

We're going on a night mission to kill him

We're going to the beach.

We're gonna sneak into his ear and use this giant horn

We're having Turkey Turkey.

We're in a giant oven!

We're in a hurry!

We're not done having fun yet.

We're not going home until we have 1,000 candies!

We're not robbing a bank.

We're not safe here.

We're on the way to fight the British Army,

We're ready to go right now as well,

We've gotten reports of night creatures in the neighborhood.

We've killed everyone at the beginning of time.

Welcome to my magic workshop of torture and evil.

Welcome to Uni Planet, Axe Cop.

Well done.

Well yeah. How did you know?

Well,

Well, Axe Cop, it looks like

Well, before we all got captured,

Well, big brother, I also want to kill bad guys

Well, guess what? I did it! Yeah.

Well, he blew up

Well, hopefully this evening won't come to that.

Well, I think that's something even I can handle.

Well, isn't that an interesting candy bucket?

Well, it looks like everyone is finally happy

Well, maybe that's... unnecessary.

Well, she's probably hungry. We haven't fed her all day.

Well, that sounds like a job for a normal cop.

Well, then you've come to the right place.

Well, this Halloween has been a certified bust.

Well, why would you invite bad guys to your party?

Wexter!

Wexter! Fire attack!

Whaddaya think's going on here, bro?

What a day. Good night, Axe Cop.

What about you, Axe Cop? You a white meat guy or dark meat guy?

What am I supposed to do for two hours?

What are we going to do now!?

What are we gonna do, Axe Cop? We can't stop her.

What are you doing here, Best Fairy Ever?

What are you doing lurking in the shadows,

What are you doing using my real name for, scoot?

What are you doing, Book Cop? No no no no no.

What are you gonna buy with your cut of the money once we unload the sun?

What are you laughing at?

What are you talking about, Axe Cop?

What are you talking about, Best Fairy Ever?

What could possibly happen?

What do you mean? I just gave her to you guys.

What do you think you're doing, m'lady?

What do you want, Flute Cop? I'm on a night mission.

What do you want, Flute Cop?!

What do you want?

What if we apologize to you and you let us go?

What kind of swords are those?

What the Fourth of July is all about.

What the heck?

What the heck? Pennies?

What the heck? Raisins?

What the heck?!

What what, are there, hidden cameras somewhere?

What, are you working banking hours now?

What?

What? What do you mean "accidentally"?

What?!

What?! You ain't shot nobody today?

What's the kind of dad that gets paid to be a dad?

What's up, Anita? Miss me?

What's weird is you can't take a hint, Axe Cop.

What's wrong?

What's your strategy, Book Cop? Quickly.

When I arrive at the Axe Cop station

When I finally heard you were having tryouts.

When I grow up, I'm going to kill bad guys

When I have a baby, you're babysitting.

When I turn, the picture of me moves

When most everyone has none.

When was the last time that happened?

When you weren't looking, Ghost Cop flew through your body

Where am I?!

Where are all your good brothers and sisters?

Where are you, honey?

Where do you think you're going, Bad Santa?

Where for a small fee, they'll set you up with a girl.

Where the night creatures will get them."

Where they wait until nighttime

Which is almost never. Now allow me to honor the

Which is what we call a television in London, England.

Which is your birthday, right?

Which means...

Which was taught by jump man.

While I've been out shooting bad guys with my gun?

While the normal cops were tracking down Uni Baby,

While we were sleeping for 28 days,

Who are you?

Who taught him how to claw and bite with his super sharp beak.

Who this head chopping vigilante is,

Who wants to fight?

Who's ready to go nuts?!

Whoa ho ho ho!

Whoa ooo!

Whoa, buddy! What are you doing? There's kids around.

Whoa, hold the phone.

Whoa, that reminds me of my best friend.

Whoa!

Whoa! That sounded exactly like giant rocks

Whoa! Wait, that's why you wanna ruin Halloween?

Whoo hoo!

Whoo hoo! What did I tell you, man?

Whoop, this is me

Why am I the only one that turns into stuff?

Why are you and Sockarang robbing a bank?

Why aren't you pooping?!

Why did you just poison all the guests?

Why don't ya... why don't ya come on in?

Why don't you go home and catch some zs?

Why don't you two take a nice month long nap?

Why won't Uni Baby stop crying? It's so annoying.

Why would Axe Cop be with the farmer?

Why would you think that?

Why'd you kill all my friends?

Will keep you entertained.

Will make the great Axe Cop

Will you marry me? Do you understand?

With a giant dinosaur horn.

With my gun.

With our guns!

With robo gun fists and a red bow tie!

With that.

With the help of your friend Liborg,

With the power of all the seasons.

With the power of Christmas.

With the... mermaid massacre,

Wolvi!

Woman: Oh my god! Bat Warthog Man, is that you?

Working at a fruit stand now, eh?

Worst fairy ever

Would you care to join us, is really the bottom line.

Wow! Axe Cop has a great voice

Wow. Thanks, Axe Cop.

Wrong again! Everyone, gather around.

Wrong! He said none of the houses on earth have candy.

Wrong.

Wrong. The night creatures are real.

Wrong. There's one hole out of here and I know where it is.

Wrong. Uni Baby needs you.

Wrong. We will be the best crime fighters

Wrong. We're here

Yah!

Yeah well, I gotta split.

Yeah, except cookbooks.

Yeah, he hates meetings.

Yeah, I'm pretty proud of that birthday gift.

Yeah, just doing a routine glass check here.

Yeah, pretty much any animal that could possibly be milked,

Yeah, she said daddy!

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Yeah, that's a great idea. I know a guy

Yeah, we did it, buddy.

Yeah, we need to pick up some sun picking up gloves

Yeah, what's the deal here?

Yeah, you could think of it as a va cake tion.

Yeah, you know it.

Yeah, you're usually here by 8:30.

Yeah!

Yeah. Axe Cop killed all the bad guys.

Yellow, Flute Cop here.

Yes, but I still have 4,000 lives left

Yes, I am.

Yes, I killed the evil Rhino Man.

Yes, she's fine.

Yes, what kind of guy steals someone's friends?

Yes, yes, come on. Hurry this along!

Yes, you did. Say da ddy!

Yes, you will. You can take my dinosaur.

Yes!

Yes. And I'm taking the alien baby.

Yes. But first,

Yes. It's all part of Fatsozon's master plan.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Yo, dude. What's going on with Axe Cop?

Yo, dudes. Who's hungry for apples, because here's a bunch of them.

You always were super funny, Super Axe

You are going to build me an evil army...

You are the smartest man in the world.

You are the ultimate man.

You are under arrest.

You are, honey. Now get to work.

You bet your sweet bippy it is.

You called, sir?

You can tell by her horn.

You can't beat up a girl on national television.

You can't defeat me!

You can't have Thanksgiving without no Turkey.

You could not be more wrong, my friend.

You didn't even let me try out.

You didn't even say "uno," Avocado Soldier.

You do now.

You don't have to ask me twice, I'm helping you on this mission.

You don't have to say anything. It's that look.

You don't have to.

You ever listen to Rockin' Robin on w.A.X.E. Radio?

You got to lighten up on that kid.

You guys don't get it. It's crazy.

You have got to be kidding me!

You have to get me a super secret gift.

You have to make sure you kill its soul too.

You hold an axe, right?

You just chopped my girlfriend's head off!

You just get one small meal a day.

You killed my best friend! [shouting in Spanish]

You killed my parents

You know how Axe Cop gets when he has to wait.

You know the rules, kiddo!

You know what?

You know, I really wish you would.

You know, it's not black and white with aliens.

You know, like the ones you get at the cinema...

You know, none of that salty stuff.

You know, the first time I chopped a head off,

You know, there's something about

You know, whatever. I'll change it later.

You know?

You let your own dinosaur...

You made me look stupid for the last time!

You mean when you put two axes together

You must stop my evil twin brother.

You need a break more than any of us.

You need another minute, sir?

You need to be reminded what separates you from normal cops.

You need to take some responsibility.

You owe me a hundred dollars.

You poop too much. From now on

You said it, bro.

You said no one would get hurt, Ben.

You see that enormous guy with the crown?

You see, each year on the night before Thanksgiving,

You see, ever since I was a baby Baby Man,

You see, if you don't clip a Turkey's wings,

You show him how to improve.

You sure this is where your uncle told us to meet him?

You tell me.

You two stay here and babysit my foster son.

You want some juice?

You want to come over, uh, for dinner?

You want to grab a mega gulp and ride the choo choo train

You were a very good boy.

You were my foster son,

You were the King of London, England.

You will. You will be on money.

You'll get used to life in the slow lane.

You'll have to order from the dinner menu.

You'll never be good crime fighters.

You're a girl and girls are dumb!

You're an avocado now?

You're crazy.

You're doing great. Push, honey. Push.

You're dying.

You're going...

You're gonna love it.

You're in a band? That's so cool.

You're kinda coming off like the bad guy here.

You're my ultimate son. Now follow me.

You're not. Look, I'm Axe Cop with lemon.

You're the evil red headed woman.

You're the soul of the rabbit that broke all the rules?

You're too late, Axe Cop.

You're welcome. What's your name?

You've chopped 10 million heads already!?

You've taught me all of your kicks, dummy.

Your father is on zombie island in space?

Your father's brain was eaten. He's a zombie now.

Your new husband.

Your parents named you and all your sisters "Beautiful Girly Bob"?

Zombies always fight me till I chop off their heads.

Zombies are too stupid to build a giant

1x01 Night Mission: Stealing Friends Back

10 minutes. 15 at the most.

300 foot zombie robot on their own.

"Girly." "Bob."

(beeping) AXE COP: Come in, Avocado Soldier.

(grunts) Axe Cop, wait.

(grunts) No no, whoa, no no!

(phone rings) Axe Cop,

[sobbing] Ugh, wha... You're not a bad guy.

A bad guy

Aah! Flute Cop!

All it needs is a bit of cinnamon.

All my friends are dead! Cheer up, Bat Warthog Man.

All right! No no no, no. Please please.

All right! Turkey Turkey! I call the leg!

am I right? No.

Am I right? Wrong!

Amazing, right? I wasn't looking.

An invisible doorknob. Awesome!

And get your friends back! You do? How?

and go on night missions. That sounds awesome.

and it's cheaper to rent! Just get your dinosaur horn already!

and tell them I'm on TV. Anita, grab some popcorn!

And uses everything I eat. What?!

Anything you wanna say to me? Yes.

Axe Cop has saved

Axe Cop, is that you? Super Axe?

Axe Cop, what are we gonna do? I have the perfect plan.

Because you won't stop talking!

Big, giant bookmarks. No! I hate books!

Book Cop did it! U.S.A., U.S.A.!

Brilliant! Ooh ooh! And at the end of a long day,

But how? With... this!

But now it's filled with... Raw vegetables?

called a team meeting. Please say free gelato.

Can you save my brother? Yes.

Can you say da ddy? Axe Cop.

Come back here, zombies!

Congratulations! Oh no no no no.

Daddy!

Do it! What the heck?!

Do you understand what I'm saying? (muffled) I'll chop your head off!

Do you,

Don't answer that, Axe Cop. Do you hate girls?

Don't kill him. Why? Do you want to do it?

Driving a cab. Seriously?

Even better! Can he fly?

everyone on the planet will die. But you can still stop him.

Fly! Caw!

Forever. Don't say that!

From the King's master plan. We made it.

glows in the dark? Don't you know it.

Go to your TV. Why?

Gobble gobble. If it isn't Turkey Turkey.

good enough for Axe Cop. Let's get outta here, Grey Diamond.

Good night, Axe Cop. to be with their families,

Grey Diamond is on bass. Um...

Ha! Bring it!

Hah! Because I'm a hero.

Hand over da book! Which book?

Hand over the candy! Too late, Axe Cop!

He could fly. I'm flying!

He has a big announcement to make. Please say free gelato!

he should have a family to go home to. Let's quit while we're ahead.

He will now. And if you try to ride him,

He's funny. Whoo!

Hello? Anita, where's Uni Baby?

Help! No ooo!

Hey, Axe Cop. Baby Man.

Hey, could I come along? No.

Hey, I just said no comment! Axe Cop, my daughter's a girl.

Hey, no peeKing! Sorry.

High five. Thanks for giving me half a cheetah's brain.

Hmmmm? What are you talking about?

How did you get into my bedroom? I flew in through the keyhole.

How much does it cost? $15.

Huh. His name is Season Man,

Hyah! My name is Axe Cop.

Hyah! Yeah, you wish!

I already turned it gold. One of the Beautiful Girly Bob sisters

I am not raising my voice.

I can't see a thing. We're in the stomach.

I do! No!

I do.

I don't eat dinner. Are you sure?

I don't have a costume. Hmm. Give me that baby!

I don't work the day shift or the night shift. Ha!

I have no reason to go on. I want you to listen very carefully.

I killed chicken head with one grenade. Bok!

I knew you loved me! Oh, this is perfect.

I knew you still had it in you. This was actually pretty fun.

I left my axe at the house. What what are we gonna do?

I love magic. Now for our other final trick:

I mean, just do the math, all right? I always do the math

I need some good news. Nothing.

I only drink juice. But soda is better than juice!

I think we're safe. Wrong.

I think you're awesome! Well, that's not really a question

I want the wing! It's delicious!

I'll be on TV? Well... yeah!

I'll chop your head... Argh!

I'll have to call you back.

I'll never help you! Don't help me.

I'm Axe Cop. No, you're not.

I'm not saying it's your fault, ma'am.

I'm talking to you, Grey Diamond. Okay, bro...

if anyone needs me. Wait wait, Axe Cop,

in 15 minutes. Oh, you want it to go.

is coming up this weekend. Oh, that's perfect!

Is there a dinosaur horn store? Don't you know it.

Isn't he romantic? How would I know?

Isn't this awesome? No!

It is? Why? So bad guys can't find it.

It was like, what? Now step into the machine.

It's a mystery. Was a mystery.

It's almost embarrassing. Best Fairy Ever,

It's it's breakfast time. Oh really?

It's my wedding anniversary. Ha!

It's so beautiful. Oh man, I love you.

just like people. (Groans)

Last year they had red licorice! This year... crayons.

Let's go watch! I've got a better idea.

Let's go! Great, we'll take my car

Let's go! No. I'm staying.

Let's go.

Liborg! What's up, best friend?

Look! The big magic show is about to start.

Maybe to you. To everybody

Mission accomplished. We're alive, we did it!

Mm hmm. Even the upside down face kick?

No ooo! Oh no!

No, let me just tel The bad news is his brain

No. Wait, what?

No. Now I'm smiling. What?

Not gonna happen. What if I told you

Not me. Boom.

Not me. Hey, honey, I'm home.

Now here's the plan

Now I'm not. Oh that's a shame,

Now let's go! Hey, c'mon, Axe Cop.

Now that you're a good guy. What about aliens?

Now we're talking. Let's go

Now will you let me go? No. Soda is better than juice.

Now, can I be on the team? Oh, I wish.

Now! Liborg!

of you beating up all those girls. Great.

Oh ho ho, I hear that. Axe Cop, Axe Cop, come in.

Oh no! They're closed. Let me handle this guy.

Oh wait, what about Uni Baby? She won't die.

Oh, bloody heck! No no no no!

Oh, is it your birthday, officer? No.

Oh, thank you. I'm married.

Oh, we gotta feed her! Aha ha! Ugh, fine.

Oh. And for you, sir? The ushe.

Okay, see you in a couple days. Okay, see you later.

Okay. What did the president say?

on my desk pronto! The thing is

On my way. Actually scratch that.

Oop, smart. Now let's look around the house

put my finger on it. Wait a second.

Questions? Axe Cop, is true that you have

Quick story here... Shh!

Remember me? Of course I do.

Remember our senior thesis

Remember the punching finals? How can I forget?

See it twinkle? Yeah. That's nice.

See? Okay, wait wait wait

See? Season Man!

She ate a small meal. We can't just leave her here alone.

She's riding a gorilla riding a lion.

Shh shh shh. Go on. You see, I wasn't always a dog.

So give me a minute! His friends were stolen?

So here. Ho ly cow.

Take that! Yeah!

Th're coming to help us! Her gross plan worked.

thank you, Axe Cop. No time for thank yous.

Thanks, Axe Cop. Shh shh.

that bad guy I spoke of earlier. A distraction?

That guy is creepy. Yeah, no kidding, buddy.

That sounds fun. What about you?

That tryout was gross. What? No no no no no.

That's a gross plan. Isabella, are you sure?

That's ridicul Shhh.

The bad news Let me guess

the dumber he gets. But won't he still be evil?

The King of All Bad Guys ate them. So my friends are... dead?

The night creatures are coming. Night creatures?

the unexpected. And now for our final trick!

There he is! Axe Cop!

There he is! What are you doing?

there's no Halloween! Exactly,

There's nothing more you can do. Yes, there is.

This is bile. Gross.

This is my first Axe Thanksgiving. That's awesome.

This is terrible! Wrong! It's fantastic!

This is terrible. I know, but don't worry,

To heaven! Heaven? Why?

to helping your image. Fine.

To show my royal appreciation,

to the death! It's true what they say:

to turn zombies into good guys.

Tracy! Axe Cop showed up

Turn off the lights on your way out. All right, buddy.

U.S.A., U.S.A.! The war is over.

Watch out! Cover your ears.

We do. Evil animals...

We have no comment. Weren't they just trying to help?

We should go there! I know.

We should rob a bank? Yes.

We talked about this. Look, Axe Cop, I got an idea.

We win! You lose.

We're in the middle of space. I know.

We're not gonna make it in time. Yes we will.

What about Flute Cop? He's our manager.

What about the big house on the hill? Bookmarks.

What about the Turkey? Liborg's right.

What are they gonna think of next? Wait, what's that?

what happened to your father. Oh, ripping!

What the bloody heck?

What the heck?

What the heck? Cool, right?

What the heck? Hello, Axe Cop!

What the heck? Hyah! How did you survive

What was that?

What? Axe Cop, why did you beat up

What? We have good news and bad news!

where are you going? I have a question:

Where are you taking me?

Where is she now? She's up there,

who learned all the kicks. Even the flaming falcon kick?

With a plum. Wow. Good job, little guy.

with a robot ghost inside. That is correct.

with my gun. Ray!

with talking good animals. Weird?

Wrong! Whoa whoa whoa!

Yah! Some people even have friends.

Yay! Hup!

Yeah, I'm sure. How can you be sure?

Yeah, right? Yes, it did.

Yeah. So can we be on the team? Nope!

Yep. Even the spinning tornado kick?

Yes, he is. Come in, Axe Cop.

Yes, he is. Wait, what?

Yes. Axe Cop, Axe Cop!

Yes. Uh, so the baby food is in the fridge

You can't tell Tracy. What do you mean, Axe Cop?

You feel anything? No. This guy is such a genius.

You know I have the best candy. See? I told you.

You're a hero. Not anymore I'm not.

you're going to come home as. You noticed that, huh?

You're in for a real treat. Axe Cop makes the best Turkey.

You're just shooting them. Yeah, that's all us cops do.

...All the bad guys with it

...And engulfed the entire earth.

...Axey Smartist.

'cause Anita's making grilled cheese. And let me tell you,

'cause I'm gonna kill you anyway.

'cause I'm such a big mean stinky poopy pants.

'cause they run out of French toast fast.

'Tis surely a sign. Victory will be ours.

"A kick is a punch from a foot!"

"And send them to planet earth

"Baby Man."

"Beautiful."

"Dead."

"Dear Axe Cop, we all chipped in

"over"?

"Parents in the future sometimes have to send

"The night creatures use their claws

"The Night Creatures."

(crying)

(groans) Babies are dumb

(groans) Well, I guess I can't kill you.

(groans) What? What do you want, Axe Cop?

(growls)

(grunting)

(grunts)

(imitates whistle blowing)

(muffled) No.

(mutters)

(normal voice) Oh, that's okay.

(shouts)

(sighs) I'm sorry.

[alarm blaring]

[car departs]

[chomping] [shouts]

[clears throat] Like army chihuahua's friend Sergeant T, I, too,

[crashes] Hey, what's that?!

[crunches]

[door closes]

[door slams] Buckle up, boys,

[groaning] Whoo hoo!

[groans]

[groans] But it's cheaper to rent.

[growling]

[grunting]

[grunts] Now you tell me where Bat Warthog

[honking] Axe Cop: Come on! Move it!

[inhales]

[laughs] I was so mad,

[laughs] Whoa, what took you so long, bro?

[mechanical voices]

[moaning] Dead.

[music]

[playing harmonica]

[rings] Hello?

[roars, grunts]

[roars]

[screams]

[screams] and they would bite you if you got too close.

[screams] That was the day I gained the ability

[shouts, splashes]

[sizzling, thudding]

♪

♪ Chicken little was a little chicken! ♪

♪ chicken little, chicken little ♪

♪ count on ♪

♪ H A PP Y ♪

♪ H A PP Y ♪ ♪ H A PP Y ♪

♪ Happy Birthday, Axe Cop! ♪

♪ Happy Birthday, Axe Cop. ♪

♪ is always so much prettier... ♪

♪ now your best friend...

♪ of every single July. ♪

♪ on the fourth ♪

♪ our life's complete ♪ (muffled shouting)

♪ That was small and so young! ♪

♪ the fireworks ♪

♪ those are all the 16 reasons ♪

♪ thought the sky is gonna fall down... ♪

♪ thought the sky was falling do ooown. ♪

♪ Well, summer in the city ♪

♪ When the sky was falling... ♪

♪ why I love you. ♪

♪ yea aaaah!

♪ You say we'll never part... ♪ (muffled shouting)

âª Chicken little, chicken little âª

âª Why I âª âª Why I love you âª

Axe Cop - Season 1
Axe Cop – Season 1 is an animated television series that first premiered in 2013. Based on the webcomic of the same name created by brothers Malachai Nicolle and Ethan Nicolle, this dynamic and action-packed show brings to life the imaginative world of a superhero cop who wields an axe as his weapon of choice. The cast of Axe Cop – Season 1 includes an incredible lineup of voice actors who lend their talents to give life to the show's colorful characters. The titular character, Axe Cop, is voiced by none other than Nick Offerman, known for his iconic role as Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation. His deep and authoritative voice perfectly embodies the strong and formidable nature of Axe Cop. Supplementing Axe Cop is his trusty sidekick, Flute Cop, voiced by Ken Marino. Known for his roles in shows like Party Down and Childrens Hospital, Marino brings his comedic expertise to the character of Flute Cop, a whimsical and eccentric partner to Axe Cop's intense and serious demeanor. Some other notable actors in the cast include Megan Mullally, who voices the characters of Anita and Jr. Office Ben, and Rob Huebel, who lends his voice to the character of Grey Diamond. These talented actors add depth and humor to their respective roles, enhancing the overall entertainment value of the series. Season 1 of Axe Cop takes viewers on an exciting and often outrageous journey as Axe Cop battles a host of creative and peculiar villains. Whether it's dealing with an army of dinosaurs, zombies, or even a vampire pedophile, Axe Cop fearlessly takes on each challenge with his signature weapon, the mighty axe. With his bravery and relentless determination, Axe Cop quickly becomes the hero that the city desperately needs. The show's animation style perfectly complements the over-the-top nature of the storyline. Bright and vibrant colors, combined with dynamic action sequences, make for visually stimulating and captivating viewing experience. The distinct animation style further immerses viewers into the imaginative world created by the Nicolle brothers, bringing their unique vision to life. Axe Cop – Season 1 is a show that appeals to both children and adults alike. Its humor ranges from innocent and childlike to clever and witty, ensuring that viewers of all ages will find something to enjoy. One of the most remarkable aspects of the show is its ability to seamlessly blend the creativity of a child's imagination with the silliness and cleverness of an adult's perspective. Fans of the show, or those curious to explore the wild adventures of Axe Cop, can play and download the sounds associated with the series. Whether you're looking to relive your favorite moments or simply immerse yourself in the world of Axe Cop, these sounds are sure to bring a smile to your face. From the sound of Axe Cop swinging his mighty axe to the uproarious laughter of Flute Cop, every sound captures the essence of the show and its beloved characters. In conclusion, Axe Cop – Season 1 is an animated television series that offers a unique and entertaining experience for viewers. With its talented cast of voice actors, imaginative storyline, and captivating animation style, it has become a fan-favorite since its debut in 2013. So sit back, relax, and get ready to join Axe Cop on a thrilling adventure like no other!
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