The Interview (2014) Soundboard Edit

A little bit more serious, you know?

Aah! Fuck!

Aaron peels off the film marked A,

Aaron Rapoport, I've secured the most important interview

Aaron, bring it in

About that other thing I just asked.

All over his face.

All right, how do I look?

All right, now,

All right.

And say, "Oh, don't worry,

And that's exactly what I said to Aaron.

And then you report on all the cool

And touches nothing

And we know Aaron wants his steak.

And you are my Sam.

And you have 16 million people

As always, I'd like to thank my guest,

At where I work? You'd be eaten alive at our office.

Because he did!

Bombshell..."

But he does talk to dolphins

But I got some stink dick

Can we please move on?

Caw, caw.

Damn, she was sexy

Dave

Dave..

Deprived you of life's simplest pleasures.

Do you do karaoke?

Doesn't make me feel any better

Don't move, homie!

Dude, what the fuck, man? That was John Kerry's office

Eminem just said he was gay... four times.

Fancy hearing from you here

Fire!

First night

Fuck you, tree!

Fuck you!

Fuck.

Gay Twitter! Gay Twitter's blowing up

Genius!

Get home safe

Go wide, camera two!

Good evening.

Guess what we named him?

Guys, guys, guys, guys! I don't know if you've

He's gonna fucking kill us!

He's probably, like, Kim's trigger man, okay?

Hector was a... was a real person

Hello! Wow..

Hey, put on your darkest clothes and get outside now

Hey..

Hi. Mm mm!

Hide it, hide it, hide it

How are you feeling?

How do I get it off?

How else can I prevail against so many enemies?

How the fuck are we gonna do that, by the way?

I am trying to reach Aaron Rapoport

I can't leave North Korea

I come out with my bestselling tell all.

I don't know how he got it, but he's got it on!

I don't like the cold.

I feel so alive right now. This is so real

I get it. Fucking stop it

I got to go. Over and out.

I have no comment on margaritas.

I have to ensure that the power

I just saved a life, you murderer.

I love you

I mean I'm gay

I mean, she researched me, she seduced me,

I mean, she used me.

I thought this place was gonna be a dump.

I was picturing something, like, this big.

I will use it and cut the signal.

I'll be back

I'll just get it through secondhand smoke

I'm about to head to an important meeting,

I'm Agent Lacey

I'm gonna fucking get it out.

I'm gonna make a run for it.

I'm not gonna kiss him, but let's just say

I'm ready, baby.

I've been grazed!

If a billion people across the Earth and in my own country

In front of all of North Korea?

In preparation for this interview.

In these times of great stress,

In three days,

Is it still live?

Is this Katy fucking Perry?!

It doesn't have night vision goggles

It was clearly something

It's a fucking tiger

It's a surprise party... for you.

It's like a big dog

It's like a big, orange, stripey dog

It's loaded!

Jordan!

Just breathe, maybe pace it out.

Just in case I'm gay, but I'm not,

Kim is not evil

Kim must die.

Koh and Yu possessed the finest trait men can have:

Let me check!

Like, circuses and demolition derbies

Look out, look out! It's coming after you!

Look!

Loyalty is what made my father

Me?

Mr. Kim..

My Samwise.

My show barely broke the top 15

No

No, no!

No, thank you.

No!

No! No!

Now we got to kill the girl that you like.

Of our show, and we'd love to have him on.

Of those inflatable motorboats, we hit the water,

Oh, I don't like it!

Oh, man, this is great, right?

Oh, my God. Uh..

Oh, no, no, no

Oh, no!

Oh, shit!

Oh, we have beautiful grocery stores here in North Korea

Oh, we really fucked up!

Oh, wow! It's a grocery store.

Oh! That's what the fuck just happened.

Okay. Okay

Okay. Okay. Alley oop!

On "Skylark Tonight."

On three.

Ooh! Yeah

Open.

Ow!

Package will deploy in three, two, one, boom

Please remember, gentlemen, you are entering into

Raise your glasses

Ricin strip.

Same same, but different

Secure the motherfucking package.

See, not so bad

Set up to communicate with the Olympic Committee,

She's a... It's so empowering.

Shit.

Shit. Camera one. Camera one.

Signing off.

Sit still!

Smeagol needs Aaron.

So when you think of all that your country has been through...

Some infrastructure for communicating with

Sook.

Start firing back at you for killing their leader

Sub freezing temperatures

Tactical advantage over the West.

Take the dog.

Talk to me, talk to me.

Tell them to fuck off

Than the totality of my strength!

That guy has water!

That takes you directly to Pyongyang

That the war in North Korea

That was your one true love.

That you had anything to do with this

That's all right

That's the only reason we're here

The people in this room...

The point is we're talking about nuclear nations

The poison will lay dormant for 12 hours.

The rocket they are testing is believed to be big enough

Then my worthiness as a Kim

Then who wants to be straight?

There's not going to be a bulletproof vest,

There's nothing in here.

They are hungry

They knew that this might be

They'll never find it.

They're not wrong

This is a common misconception.

This is a major television event

This is crazy

This is fuckin' bullshit.

This is gonna be great. This is gonna be great.

This is the biggest interview since Frosty Nixon.

This room

This will mess up my asshole!

To Mordor.

To see the the beautiful fruits of my country's land.

Tonight...

Two years later,

Uh, right

Uh..

Was a fake grocery store

We are different people

We don't have concentration camps, Dave.

We have a great bounty of food in North Korea.

We have millions of viewers every night

We heard your Supreme Leader is a big fan

Well, tell me this, Dave.

Well, you're shooting off a slightly cunty vibe right now

What about Siberian tigers?

What do you mean, there's something out there?

What happens when all of his guards

What is it? Can you zoom in on that?

What is that?

What what what...? Lacey, why do I have to do it?

What? No. That's a double entendre.

What's this?

Where you will transfer to a commercial airline

Where's the fucking poison strip?

Why does he keep the long pieces?

Why don't you feed your people?

Why'd you tell her that he ate it?

With a big old butthole.

With Kim Jong un. What happened?

With President Kim Jong un

With the Democratic People's Republic of North Korea

With whom I can truly be myself.

Would you, um,

Wow

Wow!

Yeah.

Yeah. But, um..

Yo, Skylark, which side

You a bad ass.

You are a goddamn hero.

You are almost in the end zone, Aardvark

You are going to shake Kim's hand,

You are the Gandalf to my Bilbo Baggins.

You can't write a tell all

You don't have a bunch of dudes going at it,

You gonna drop some nukes on L.A.?

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

You knew this this whole time

You know how I'm good at picking up energies?

You know what's more destructive than a nuclear bomb?

You know, there is so much misunderstanding

You may now enter the Supreme Leader's home.

You out of that big, old, scary hole?

You protect that puppy with your life.

You take it by the balls!

You think I'd tease you and not take you all the way?

You will die.

You would like to return

You... you said you were bald.

You're doing a terrible Asian accent.

You're not going to shoot him

You're saying because I'm a girl,

You've been with us

Your feelings of attraction for me?

Your heart rate would shoot up to 160

100 bucks Skylark thinks

Aah! Yeah

Clear. Okay, clear

Cool

Don't say it again. Shh.

Don't shake that hand. Why not?

Fine. Don't put me through that.

Great. Thank you

Hey, yeah. Hey, yeah

How's the puppy? Puppy is okay!

Huh? There's something out there.

I get you. You know, it's like,

I'll go deal with him. Okay, go, go, go..

if I say something about women or whatever... Yes.

In your bu...? Asshole

It's him. It's fucking him

Just shut up. Shut up. Okay

Kim Jong un. Kim Jong un.

Look! Look, look, look... What? Yeah... one second.

Oh, wig's coming off. Oh.

Okay. Okay.

Okay... Okay.

Really? I love her!

Shit! Shit! Shit! Protect the puppy!

Shut it off. Get the fuck out of here, Darryl.

Skylark is beneath despicable. Fuck this.

Stop it. I just want everybody to know

Stop walking. Hello

Take him out

That's it? Yes

That's why she's here. What?!

They don't hate us 'cause they ain't us. I'm used to it

We go now. Okay.

What do I do with it? They're coming right towards you

Yeah, to what do we owe the pleasure? AARON: Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yes

You honey dicking? Look, she's not honeypotting you,

You're way too deep to pull out. I'm pullin' out

...and you're my precious

'Cause if it is,

"'There's no tell all, ' Agent Lacey said

"a revolution Aaron and I started.

"at an elderly lady

"But there was none of that.

"I'm disappointed,

"ignited with nothing more

"No.

"Skylark Tonight."

"The Lord of the Rings

"who's getting new boobs" and, like,

♪ Just like a house of cards ♪

♪ The light ♪

♪ As you shoot across the ♪

♪ You just got to ignite ♪