Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) Soundboard Edit

All right, be where I can see you. Be ready to move

Always sees the inside of a police van

And 20 years later, she comes out to L.A. hunting Harlan Dexter.

And now, for my shocking finale.

And that's how she got to the same party as me

And your sister has to have seen this, so you know what it comes down to.

Before he died...

Before I left, I got her into foster care.

Big tough guy.

Both times, the dress was soaked through, so it was transparent. So

But for me, robot schmobot, she was destined to be here.

But I got my screen test Tuesday. I'll go Wednesday.

But Jonny never showed.

By the way, this thing:

Can I say fuck more?

Clear it right up.

Come back to the hotel for a little while, just have one drink. Bring your friend.

Cunt. Welcome to Hollywood.

Did you ever think maybe I don't want to talk to her?

Do unto others and all that. It's Christmas.

Do you get it? I'm on the hook. The hook is my home

Do you get me now?

Doesn't that suck? I just hit you for no reason.

Don't forget to validate your parking.

Excuse me, you wouldn't, by chance, happen to have seen this woman?

Female. She hired me to do some video surveillance.

Finished

Flicka. Flicka. You know, my friend? She told me

For starters, she's been fucked more times than she's had hot meals.

Fuck.

Fucking maricÛn.

God, you still look great. You're just stunning. I like

God! Embrey, Indiana!

Goddamn it.

Great, this is fucking rich

Hang on

Harold...

Harry, I was thinking some more about this reality versus fiction.

Harry.

Harry.

Harry...

He called her a Well, a bad word.

He doesn't know he's gay. Look how he walks.

He needs someone who looks like her to withdraw the complaint.

He stashed his daughter in here, and then he put the ringer on the street.

He was in over his head, you knew it.

He was my best friend, so she gave me that.

He would've spotted the fake and said, That's not Veronica

Hello?

Hey, I lucked out. They gave me the same room

Hey.

His wife died last spring, prompting Veronica's return to the U.S...

Honest to God private eye, consults in film, TV. Just incorporated.

How about that, you fucking animals! Goddamn cocksuckers.

How am I supposed to know? Fire escape, maybe.

I buried my daughter today

I don't know if this guy's your boyfriend or not...

I don't want younger and better, I want you.

I got an idea. I say we take the son of a bitch Dexter down

I hope it isn't past your bedtime.

I left when you had your tongue down her throat.

I peed on the corpse

I saw him in the commissary twice. What is he, like 6'4?

I should be pissed

I think we're safe.

I'll be there in four minutes.

I'll show you that in a minute.

I'm going to be an actress.

I'm in a van with the body. I'll be there in 30 seconds.

I'm with him on this one. That's pretty fucking obscure.

I've never told you just how awful he treated her. My dad, I'm talking about.

If she stumbles on a murder plot, why hire me to film it?

It was an excuse to stay around you. So I think, in the realm of lies

It was too much for her.

It's like someone took America by the East Coast and shook it...

Jonny spoke from the pages of cheap paperbacks...

Leaving my sister back home, leaving her there all alone....

Like putting a whoopee cushion on the seat of an electric chair.

Listen to me

Maybe you could put the hat in the kettle...

Miss Dexter recently made headlines when she returned from Paris..

Mr. Van Shrike, hello.

My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift...

No, but you thought I did

No, it's not crazy. Listen

No, no, no. It's just

No, no. Look, you want to see something cool?

No, seriously, I was on the case. Harry Lockhart, L.A.P.I.

No, sir. My mom used to say I had the neon disease.

No, that's not true. She made one concession.

No, there was a spider. There was a big spider.

No. You know, that's crazy

Not that that's what constitutes why she should be here.

Now, me and my man, we're puzzled lately by your behavior, such as

Now. Say it. Say it.

Of course. That's sad.

Oh, Harry.

Oh, you got a gun, I see.

Perry, what's wrong?

Perry!

Please. I'm guessing some sad, lonely little man...

Prime example. I switched to the ugly friend. Homely friend. She's not ugly.

Private mental clinic, where even nice girls don't wear undies.

Punk rock Steven Seagal thinks it's special.

Reconciliation, idiot

Remember how I said this high school chick haunted me?

Remember, I told you he looked familiar. Oh, God, this can't be true.

Remember, that's how it would appear.

Repeat, the little sister.

Right, I get it. Fine.

Save me from this hopeless plight.

She agreed not to fuck my best friend, Chook Chutney.

She grew up in a burg in southern Indiana.

She must have been broke, I don't know

She swiped 200 bucks, a credit card, California ID, God knows what else

Shit!

Sleep bad.

So Dexter had Veronica killed, threw a dress on her...

So you knew Harmony in high school. You said she dissed you.

Sorry, kid. Good hands, though.

Thanks. Used to be a magician

That mystery flick with the guy, Jonny what's his name?

That's so the schmuck doesn't take the gun back and make him eat it

That's the clue. Veronica Dexter was a patient here.

That's the name on her credit cards.

The lab report came back, no sign of ****

Then and there, I made a decision.

This is fag and New Yorker. You're in a lot of trouble.

Three months ago, she was suing him over Mom's millions.

Times Square audiences, don't shout at the screen.

Try the Domino Room.

Try the ring toss. Three for a quarter. Look how easy it is.

Uncle Harry, look around. There are signs.

Wait a second! My finger's hanging off. We gotta move on this.

What the hell. He's gotta be somewhere. He turned right in front of us.

Whitey, the white knight. Whitey

Who are you?

Who what, Harry?

Why?!

Worst thing is she's 35 years old and still trying to act.

Yeah, I get that all the time. Would you mind not rooting around in there?

Yeah, it's a derringer. It's loaded.

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yes, racist. I'm serious.

You are such a dumb ass.

You are the dream girl. You always have been.

You did fine. Perry and I, we're just

You fucker! If I could get out of this bed

You have to move her. If it's a frame up, some asshole's calling the cops on you.

You know what, so you tell me, how is it any different than:

You know what, you better be her doctor.

You like looking at his johnson, don't you?

You pulled the trigger. It just took this long for the bullet to hit.

You said it's a black guy and a white guy?

You told your sister she was adopted, yeah?

You're not gonna get the part, okay? Colin Farrell wants too much money.

You're right. Get the plate, call the cops.

You're right. The body can't be here. This is all a dream. There's Elmo the elf.

You're shitting me. Which one?

You're telling me the girl imposter

Your mom went nuts, and she bought all the books and stuff.

...Olivia Newton John and Gene Kelly. Gay.

A picture of me? No...

Are we gonna follow him? Where'd he go?

Are you sure? Well, maybe she had my number

Check the back seat

Do you have any idea what time it is? I'm really sorry.

Don't answer that. Yeah, duh

Fuck you, maricÛn! Fuck you! That's what you want, isn't it?

Get up. What's up?

Harmony's convinced I don't care about Listen to me.

Harry. Harry. Yes, of course.

I couldn't shoot him, Perry. Oh, God. You did fine. You did fine.

I got the gun you gave me

I guess you guys are old buddies. Five years.

I mean, petty theft Oh, Harry.

If you are, then I really need your help. Well

Ike, Mike and Mustard. What the hell does that mean?

Is she dead? No. She's resting her eyes for a minute.

It's not here, that's funny. What's funny?

Keep talking. Keep talking. You wanna know who we are?

Let's take a walk. He's got a hostage. I've seen that movie.

Like that. They always do this.

Lord of the Cock Rings. No, Harry, it's a fake label.

Lucky you. It's pretty good

My sister! Yes! Your sister was here?

No, I Give me my gun.

No, I'm getting a pen. Are you following them? Better not be.

Oh, shit. They're turning. What?

Okay, any particular kind of gloves? Yes, fawn.

Really? Yeah.

See that? Obedient little bitches too

She doesn't want to talk to you. Oh, no, no. I know.

Speaking. I'm detective Sgt. Kale.

Still gay? Me? No.

That was God, that was forever ago. Yeah, that was back in the day.

That's Harlan Dexter

That's her stage name. I just said that.

That's impossible. Yeah, it's totally nuts. Back stairway

This dump have a bar? Yeah.

Wait, Perry. Call me back right away

Well, nice to meet you. That it?

Well, that whole bunch is here tonight. Honey, put me on the list, I'll drop by.

What, you're gonna bail? Harmony...

What's going on? Where are you?

Whatever. It's okay, I believe you. Clearly, you don't

Who's Har ? What? Look, that's

You said something about the case. Yeah. Yeah.

You're worried. You're not worried?

...actor turned entrepreneur Harlan Dexter.

...all of a sudden, there's a corpse outside? Bad idea.

...allegedly dressed up...

...and a father daughter reconciliation following years of estrangement

...but if you've been paying attention, I shouldn't have to

...but now, I don't know, you're making me more nervous. Sit down.

...I didn't get famous.

...it's abuse. It's, My uncle put his ping ping in my papa.

...like somehow you guys could do that. Sorry.

...movie.

...so the guy shows up, he's magically alive on crutches, I hate that.

...then you'd find out that they're connected.

...thinking Harmony's theory wasn't so crazy.

...to tell me you like me after you fucked my friend!

...use your awesome might.

...who was in the movie that came through town