Bio-Dome (1996) Soundboard Edit

A long time ago, when we were kids, right?

A standoff has developed between scientists still inside

Agh!

And I did not dedicate my life to science to baby sit a couple of baboons.

And I wondered, would you be kind enough to hold them for me?

And in the trash in the basement.

And now is that time.

And off he goes

And perhaps the very survival of the human race.

And what's your little name?

And you geniuses took only one month to destroy it!

Animal life will terminate in 14 days.

Are you sleepin'?

Are you the guy with the spray on hair?

Bud?!

Budly! There's people around.

But remember, the survival of this system is dependent upon homeostasis.

But sometimes stupid can be pretty cool

But the value of purple sticky punge goes way beyond just tokin' it.

But we gotta start thinking about ourselves. They are.

Can someone explain how drinking beer and playing Hacky Sack

Can we do it again, Squirly?

Can't tell a mall toilet from a damned rain forest!

Come on, Stub

Come on. We'll get you some food. A little bladder buster?

COMPUTER: All hell is breaking loose.

COMPUTER: Homeostasis is 1% of normal.

Cool!

Cos you've been running through my mind all day.

Do you have any idea how impossible it would be to make this place habitable?

Does Uncle Ben know about this?

Doyle, this place is being destroyed!

DOYLE: Yeah! Keep going!

Doyle!

Dude! Don't even say that word. (HUMS)

Easy, Rombo.

En garde!

Excuse me. Are you guys done with those beers?

Feel free to contribute. You are an integral part of the Bio Dome system.

Five.

Free mahimahi! Free mahimahi!, if you will, and then kaboom!

Get him, Squirl!

GIRL: I studied chemistry in Sweden!

God, Romulus! Easy with the tongue action

Goin' halves?

Gravity snatched the poor little boy, and he fell down like a rag doll.

Hang on, Squirl!

Hell, I'd strangle a dolphin to get into her pants. (LAUGHS)

Here are the pizzas. The bladder buster's free cos I couldn't find the damn place.

Here. Go long.

Hey, just think back to those sleepovers we used to have.

Hey, look at that. There's that guy Bob I chased out of here the other day.

Hey, what's going on? What's going on?!

Homeostasis restored to 100%

How am I supposed to hit a double birdie with my bogey billy with a shower iron?!

I don't feel anything. You?

I don't think he liked the way you played with his coconuts

I got ya now, Faulkner! Come on, baby!

I know. I miss you.

I mean, it's not like we're not into saving the environment.

I told you we were into nurturing Mother Earth, but you didn't believe us.

I told you you shouldn't have had some of me.

I underestimated you fellas. Interested in a permanent job at Bio Dome? Big bucks.

I wanna eat you.

I'd go out and hump for the next year.

I'd have my mouth full of shotgun with my toe on the trigger.

I'm proud of you

If we blow up, it's been nice knowin' you, OK?

Impossible's my nom de plum.

In case you've been wondering, we have been kicking some serious ass

In five seconds, I'm gonna swallow this key, so if you wanna leave,

It can even make a contaminant free fuel.

It is just like you to try to weasel out of your responsibilities on Earth Day.

It's not like we didn't try and help the ecological system.

Just think of the water. Just... Come on, just let it go. Hurry.

Ladies and gentlemen, here are Bud and Doyle.

Last chance.

Leppard? Didn't their drummer lose an arm?

Let me... please.

Let's eat!

Levelling the whole neighbourhood west of Newton's hardware store?

Like we even want to hang with you guys anyways any more, OK?

Look!

Mini tribal.

Mm! You like it.

Mo Mo and Porkchop, there comes a time in life when we must sacrifice

Mom, please tell your love slave

Monique, Doyle and I just talked it over,

Monique. Jen. (BLOWS KISSES)

My creation, I know thee not

My proposal is that we plant these seeds.

My queen, this is your kingdom. And now we're all acting globally!

NARRATOR: Over the last few years, mankind has been witness

No one leaves!

No!

No!

No... Doyle's got a boner and he wants to put it in your ear.

No... It's progress.

Not in here! You'll upset my bugs.

Nothin'.

Now, listen. We're taking over this dome. And you guys are gonna help us fix it.

Oh...

Ohh! You should have seen what she did with a carrot!

Ohh... Ohh... Ohh..

OK, let's play nurse.

OK, my turn.

OK, OK, OK!

OK.

OK.

On the homeostasis front.

Ow! Oww!

Paper covers rock! You lose, Buckwheat!

Plant life must be revived in order to produce oxygen for survival.

Purple sticky punge

Put the gun away. Evil's not a good thing right now. Just relax. Exhale.

Remember the time the Magnavox went out? What did we do?

Remember your uncle divorced your aunt for sleeping with that flamingo dancer?

Right?

Romulus! Your popalopedos are porking!

Romulus. I should have left you in charge.

Russell!

Shave poochie poochie.

Shave poochie poochie.

She thinks she's cool cos she hangs out with Bud and Doyle's girlfriends.

Slow down!

So what are we supposed to do? Wait a year for you guys to get out?

So when are you guys gonna come out?

Squirly!

Squirly!

Stubby!

Stubby! Thriving on Chaos!

SWAT TEAM LEADER: Anybody seen Faulkner?

That should increase the moisture inside here and bring on a downpour.

That's really cool. So, how's my juicy treat?

The Annual at Arizona Tech, a three day blowout to benefit the rain forest.

The rain forest, the tropical lagoon, the farm, and the great desert.

The scientists are refusing to leave the world they destroyed.

The tide monitor needs attention.

Then flushed him down the toilet and let the cat take the rap.

There is no law now.

They travel thousands of miles to reunite and mate.

They're not terrorists, they're college students from Tucson.

This can't be.

This pre planned addition to Team Bio Dome

Three hundred and eighty five days?!

Throw a bigger, badder bash than any college would ever allow,

To a continual parade of environmental disasters,

To die and come back as a leotard

Turn it on.

Two...

Um, Doyle...

Uppity up. OK, you're pretty steady on all fours. Get me up.

Viva Las Bio Dome.

Wait... wait...

We definitely learnt a few things. For one, we definitely have to listen to..

We just, um... wanted to say thanks for everything.

We made Vasquez Lake.

We need to stay here and help Doyle merge on the road to recovery.

We're culling the herd.

We're the everlasting force

We've been had, Squirly.

Well...

Well... We gotta go. Bye.

What do you think he's been doing all this time?

What really happened was that I stepped on him

Whatever, Bud.

When I see you, I'm gonna... When I get you, I'm gonna..

When you fell from heaven, did it hurt?

Where are we gonna throw this party?

Where did you come from?

Why are you putting him in the rice paddy?

Woah! Barbarella!

Woah. Must be the grand opening.

Wouldn't it be cool if they had those huge TV setups

Yeah, this is our problem.

Yes. The idea being that while we are here, you are there.

Yes. Yes. Yes!

You assholes! Don't you care about anything?

You can't do that! It cost $2,000 a sheet!

You gotta come see this.

You guys have spent your whole lives trying to make the world a better place.

You idiot!

You ready? Hut one, hut two, hut, hut, hike!

You shouldn't be doing this. This is our mess.

You're gonna make someone really happy

You're the expert.

♪ He's a whore ♪ And the stories I could tell...

♪ He's a whore ♪ Do anything for money

♪ Pancake flat, like a glove... Hold it!

14 days. That's almost two weeks. I don't see how it can be done.

Are you sure? Look, I can tell it.

Back off, punks. Sir, yes, sir!

Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy. Come on, Billy.

Bob! How'd you get a job?

Bud! Doyle!

Buena notte. Where are they?

Come on, let me through. No!

Dick! Oh, my God!

Do you? Yes. We can't just leave them there.

Don't you care about the environment? No. We just wanna get laid

Especially after we swim in them. I know.

Face it. We are dating primates. They're getting better.

FAULKNER: Thank you. Hey, wait! Don't go anywhere.

Faulkner's got three nipples? Yeah.

Hmm... So what you're saying is... You can't get out.

I don't think so, Bud. Trust me, OK? We're celebrities.

I'm going back in! I'm going with you.

I'm so hungry. We gotta get outta here.

Look at his wrist. It's quivering. My God! What happened?

Miss Olivia Biggs, our geologist. (APPLAUSE)

Monique, should we be doing this? Yes!

Negatory. OK. Let's go at the mall.

Neon Deion! No fair!

Ohh! Hey, Squirl?

OK. Sure.

Petra and I can live without this stuff. I know it's not much.

Piña coladas? (BLEEPING)

Right in. And the Bud and Doyle action figures.

Squirly! Stubby!

Squirly! Who's the shrewdest?

That's crazy. What are they thinking? How?

They can't survive. It would be murder.

Those poor folks! They must be toast. Remember your training

Those were the days. Cheer up, buckaroo.

Vasquez Lake? More like Vasquez Craphole.

What are you talkin' about? Hold on, guys. We're coming.

Where you been, man? We missed ya

Yeah. Yeah.

You guys ready to go? See, that's the thing. Uh...

...Dr Noah Faulkner.

...we could grow a whole new crop of tomatoes.

(♪ ADIRECTIONAL BY FOURTH GRADE NOTHING)

(♪ DA DA DA I DON'T LOVE YOU YOU DON'T LOVE ME AHA AHA AHA BY TRIO)

(♪ HE'S A WHORE)

(BOTH YELL)

(BUZZING)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERING)

(FAULKNER LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

(FAULKNER YELLING)

(GABBLES IN SPANISH)

(GROWLS)

(HIGH PITCHED GROWLING)

(MIMICS) You're thrashing the place, you phonies! So?

(PHONE)

(SINGS)

(SINGSONG) You lose the pillow! For the blanket.

(SNIFFS)

♪ And we can dance

♪ He's a whore...

♪ I know a guy who's tough but sweet

♪ I say, we can go where we want to, a place that they will never find

♪ I want candy

♪ I want candy

♪ If we don't nobody will

♪ Makin' a filter

♪ Oh the safety dance

♪ Viva Las Bio Dome!

♪ Viva Las Bio Dome!

♪ We can dance, we can dance

♪ We can dance, we can dance, everybody look at your hands

♪ We can dance, we can dance, everybody's takin' the chance

♪ We can leave your friends behind

♪ With the safety dance...

♪ Yes the safety dance

♪ And you can act real rude and totally removed and I can act like an imbecile..

♪ Cos your friends don't dance and if they don't dance

♪ I say, we can act if we want to

♪ Safety dance

♪ We can dance, we can dance, doin' it from pole to pole

♪ Well they're no friends of mine