A Bagpiper, a Kangeroo, an Irish poet, and Mother Theresa walk into a bar . . . . . . . the barman, who was drying a glass, lifted his head and asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods The bear asks the rabbit "do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?" "Nope" So the bear wipes his butt with the rabbit. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase. I don't think hes alright now. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A broom only likes one brand of comedy. Dustpan. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A classic: what do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A cow fell off a truck in Russia Apparently he hadn't been Put in properly. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A disability, a curse word and a radical interpretation of scripture walk into a bar nothing happened welcome to /r/cleanjokes from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A dog with only 3 legs walks into a saloon in the Old West He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day... He discovered he was a tad Polish. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A funny bird is the pelican His beak can hold more than his belly can He can hold in his beak Enough for a week And I don't know how the heck he can! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A guy walks into a bar Ouch from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A horse walks into a bar, orders a beer. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" And the horse answers, "They've started a round of layoffs at the plant." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A long joke jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A man once thought he'd discovered a new primary color but it proved to be merely a pigment of his imagination. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A man started to throw words beginning with 'th' at me I dodge this, then and there but I didn't see that coming Tim Vine from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A man walked into a doctor's office . . . He said to the doctor: "I've hurt my arm in several places." The doctor said: "Well don't go there any more." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A man walks into a bar... He says "Ow" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A man walks into a fancy dress party carrying a woman on his back... The host asks the man why this is so. "Oh, I'm a tortoise and this is Michelle" says the man. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A man walks into an apple store and...... farts every one is really angry and there all shouting so he says it's not my fault you don't have windows from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A man wanted to name his son a very long name... ...so he named him Miles from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today... ...while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A mathematician was constipated, how did he solve his problem? He worked it out with a pencil and paper. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A pair of mittens says to a hat, "I'll stay here, you go on a head" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A penguin walks into a bar... He goes up to the barman and says, "Have you seen my father in here today?" The barman says, "I don't know, what does he look like?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A photon checks into a hotel... The bellhop asks him if he has any luggage and the photon replies "No. I'm travelling light." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A photon walks into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he needs help with his bags. The photon says, "no, I'm travelling light. " from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A platypus went into a hotel owned by a duck.. ..A platypus went into a hotel owned by a duck. Platypus ate food. Duck billed platypus from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A poem for Valentine's day Roses are red Poppies are red The grass is red Oh no my yard is on fire from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A Polar Bear walks into a cafe He says, "I'll have a burger and.... a coke." The waitress says, "Okay. But, why the long pause?" The bear says, "I don't know. I was born with them." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A police officer bought a robot this robot was fueled by sodium and alkaline, but could only hold enough for 24 hours at a time. so every morning he had to charge it with a salt and battery. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar... ...and the bartender says, "What is this, a joke?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A red ship and a blue ship crashed on an island together the survivors were marooned. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A sad can goes to get recycled. He was soda pressed. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A sentence and a phrase is arguing, what did the sentence say? I know where you're coming from this phrase, but I can't see your point. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A Siri joke!: Two iPhones walk into a bar... ...Carrying a set of iPod shuffles. The bartender says: > Let those iPods sing, man! He was an iSurfer on iPad mini. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A skeleton walks into a bar orders a beer and a mop. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A skeleton walks into a bar... Asks for a beer and a mop. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A skelleton goes to the bar and says "Can I have a pint and a mop..." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A stamp collector walks into a bar... He walks up to the hostess and says, "You're more beautiful than any stamp in my collection" She replied, "Philately will get you nowhere." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence... "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A termite walks into a bar... And asks the nearest person "Hey, is the bar tender here?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A termite walks into a pub And asks "where's the bar tender?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A Thanksgiving Joke What did the turkey say about the television program from the 1950s? There's a little bit too much grayvy. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A vampire stopped coming to my nightly poker games. All I said was that he made too many mistakes... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A woman files for divorce from her husband... citing that he makes too many Star Wars puns. When asked if this is true the husband says, "Divorce is strong with this one." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
A WWII Joke! What did the German Shepherd say at his Nuremberg trial? "I was just following odors." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Noel. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Accidental Seafood I tried dolphin once...but not on porpoise. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Actually, there are but two types of people Those who can extrapolate from limited data ... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
After watching a strongman competition... it amazed me to see how much the human body can lift without pooing itself. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh... But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Almonds on the tree; Amonds off the tree cause to get them off the tree you hafta shake the "L" out of them! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Alrighty Kids always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Always put sunglasses on your tree. Then, you'll get the proper shade. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
An idea for a board game... BONOPOLY Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
An invisible man marries an invisible woman... The kids were nothing to look at either. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
An ion walked up to Lost and Found and reported that he had lost an electron. The clerk asked:are you sure? The ion replied :Yes, I am positive.VCN from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
An oldie but goldie! *How do you stop a charging bull?* ***Take away its credit card!*** wa waa waaaa! ~Skip from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
An Olympic gymnast walked into a bar... She didnt get a medal... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Apparently vegetables can hear when they're being eaten. So I always drown mine in salad dressing first. Because it's the Romaine thing to do. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Apple just released a brand new programming language, *Swift*. Job recruiters everywhere immediately started posting ads for Swift programmers with 5 years of experience. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Armadillo The world needs more armed dillos. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought, Dogs sure are easily amused!... ...then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Ask your doctor if left is right for you. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
At least I now know why the lions leave the plains before the end of summer. Because the Pride goeth before the Fall. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
At the end of the Age of Dinosaurs what happened to the good ones? They got veloci raptured. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Bad scary film I was watching a really poorly done scary movie last night, it was horrorble. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Balloon's What's a balloon's favorite genre of music? Pop. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Barely amusing Japanese joke Why are snakes so difficult to pick up in Japan? Because in Japan, snakes are hebi. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Batman doesn't have nightmares Nightmares have batman from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Bee jokes, courtesy of my niece (age 8). What did the bee use to dry off after swimming? A *bee*ch towel. What did the bee use to get out the tangles? A honeycomb. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Better be named after what? If you had to choose, would you prefer having a disease named after you, or be named after your mother in law? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Book, you look so much thinner! I know! I had my appendix removed! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Branson My wife and I went to Branson, Missouri. I think our hotel caters to senior citizens because it had a free incontinental breakfast. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested... ...charged with battery. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Broken pencils... ...are pointless. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Broom advocates for cleaner work environment. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Bulls from all over India sent a petition to SC asking it to classify them as 'Jallikatu Bulls'. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
By shear coincidence... ...all these sheep look the same... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Can February March? No, but April May. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Can you tell me what you call a person from Corsica? Course a can. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Cars Why do lazy people only drive automatics? Because they're shiftless. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a martini. The bartender asks "olive 'er twist?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Chemistry Student I'm a science teacher and once I asked one of my lazy students if he knew the chemical symbol for sodium. He replied, 'Na, I don't'. Lucky sod, he's only ever right periodically. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Choose a major you love and you won't have to work for a day in your life Because that major probably has no jobs (not an original) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Clean joke about sorority girls Why do sorority girls only travel in odd numbered groups? Because they *can't even*! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Coco The Clown took his car back to the garage this week. The door wouldn't fall off. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Cogito Ergo Spud. I think, therefore I yam. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
College My son took Rock Climbing in college but he had to drop the class. He couldn't find any "Cliff Notes." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Congratulation on the new baby, from your family... except from me because I don't really care. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Darth Vader told me he knows what i'm getting for Christmas He said he felt my presents... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Define "Will" Isn't it obvious? It's a dead giveaway! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Definitions Bigamist An Italian fog. Myfunsalow "I am broke" in Italian. Innuendo Italian for suppository. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did I tell you I'm joining a gym in Gainesborough? Because I'm all about those gains bro from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did someone say "purple"? Sorry, it must have been a pigment of my imagination! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did y'all hear the one about the professional jump roper? Never mind. *Skip it*. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did ya hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about Scrooge's drinking problem? He had a dickens of a time with spirits. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about that spicy knight? Sir Acha. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the Antennas that got married? The wedding was lame, but the reception was great! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the casting for the new Batman movie? People have really Ben Affleckted by it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the corduroy pillow? You didn't hear? It made headlines! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the farmer that fell into the field machine and lost half his body? He's all right now! : ) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the fight in the candy store? Two suckers got licked from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the fortune teller that... Had bad breath, calluses all over his body and couldn't win a fight? He was a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed with halitosis. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the French chef who committed suicide? He lost the huile d'olive from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the guy who fell into an upholstery machine? Now he's fully recovered. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the guy who invented a knife that can cut four loaves of bread at once? He's calling it the "Four Loaf Cleaver." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the homemade poison ivy remedy? You can make it from scratch. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the kidnapping in Delaware? Don't worry, he eventually woke up. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the kidnapping recently? The goatherd woke him up. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the lawyer for U2? He was Pro Bono from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? It was a grave mistake. Woohoo! I'm making these up!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the mathematician who hated negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the Native American who went to a party and drank 37 cups of tea? They found him dead the next morning in his tea pee. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested? He was held without charge. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the production delays at that company that makes scales using lengthy pipes? They had really long weights. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field. From: http://www.dadlaughs.com from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the schizophrenic accounts manager? He couldn't help but hear invoices inside his head. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the skeleton who didn't go to prom? He had no body to go with. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the stallion and the mare? They had a stable relationship. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the two monocles at the party? They made spectacles out of themselves. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the two silk worms that got in a fight? It ended in a tie. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about the wedding between the two antenna? The service was terrible, but the reception was great. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear about what happened with the elk? It was really amoosing. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear that H.P. Lovecraft wrote a cookbook? It's called the Necronomnomnomicon. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear the joke about the fast car? I would tell you but I think you're too slow to get it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear the Offspring song about how to store mummies? "You gotta keep 'em desiccated" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problem out with a pencil. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear the one about the three eggs? Too Bad. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you hear they're republishing that Simple Mathematics study guide? It's the revised edition. (Revise Addition) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you know that 1 in every doll, in every doll, in every doll, in every doll are Russian? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you know that in high school, Robert E. Lee was voted "most likely to secede?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you know that it's traditional to serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap? There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you know that protons have mass? >Yes Well I didn't even know they were Catholic! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you know yesterday was National Middle Child Day? Don't worry, no one else remembered either. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you see the guy at Walmart hiding from ugly people? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Difference between a dead squirrel and a dead drummer in the road? http://imgur.com/PKibj The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Do you guys/gals like horse jokes? Yeah or neeiiigghh? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Do you have a hole in your sock? "No ..." *(looks at sock)* . . How'd you get your foot in it? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Do you know why one side of the the V formation of geese in flight is longer than the other side? Because It has more geese in it! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Do you know why the bike couldnt stand by itself? It was TWO TIRED!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Do you know why there's no casinos in Africa? Because there's too many CHEETAHS! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Do you think George Clooney has an iTunes playlist called Clooney Tunes? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Dolphins don't do anything by accident.. Always on porpoise. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Don't you hate jokes about German sausage? They're the wurst! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Ever heard about that movie called Constipation? It never came out. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Every journey has a beginning. ahem Just a small town girl Living in a lonely world... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Every morning I run around the block 5 times... ...Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Every single morning I get hit by the same bike... It's a vicious cycle. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Everybody gets their 15 minutes of fame so here's my first original joke! why is it impossible to surprise a snowman? .. he has ice in the back of his head from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Fart tutor wanted, must have references from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Finally decided on my thesis paper. It's a LOTR themed essay in defense of Sauron Titled "Getting away with Mordor" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
First original joke! Why did the rapper visit the urologist? Because his flows were so sick. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
First post and an original How much does a Chinese elephant weigh? .................. Wonton from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Four years ago, I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times. (not an original) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Garbage men have Hefty contracts. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Gravity makes a terrible friend. It's always holding you down. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend. [X Post from r/Fantasy] They're both cauldron. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Have a very Joseph Christmas! We shouldn't discriminate by sex, you know. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Have you been injured in a car accident? call 555 bottom feeders. We will do anything for money. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Have you ever heard the one about the dust bunny and the mud pie? Well then sorry, I only tell clean jokes. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Have you guys ever heard of the crazy Mexican Train Killer? He had...... Loco Motives from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Have you heard about that hot Thai lounge singer? Yeah. They call him *Frank Sriracha.* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Have you heard about the 2 Spanish firemen? Jose and hose B from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Have you heard about the Black Magic book for orphans? It's called the necro**mom**icon from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Have you heard the one about the agnostic with dyslexia and insomnia? He tossed and turned all night wondering if there was a dog from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Have you heard what I think of windmills? Big Fan. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Have you seen the movie Constipated? No? Why? Cause it hasn't come out yet! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Heard the one about the corduroy pillowcase? It's making headlines. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Heart attack When is the worst possible time to have a heart attack? When you are playing Charades. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
HELP! We need your best joke you have! We will choose the best joke and make a video of it, just for you! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Here's a funny joke I heard about pizza oh nevermind. It's too cheesy. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Hope you guys like clean humor videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNt aTq0hxM from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space? It's a little meteor. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How can you tell that a straight pin is confused? Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the aquarium win the battle? Giant Fish Tanks. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the burglar get into the house? Intruder window from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the desk lamp store manager feel when thieves stole all his lightbulbs? He was delighted. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan? He was de lighted from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes? He fell into it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the metal get the wrong idea? He was misled. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the musician catch his fish? He castanet from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the Pillsbury Dough Boy Die? A Yeast Infection from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the pilot like his hotdog? Plane. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the prostitute get promoted? She slept her way to the top! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How did the townspeople react when the mayor presented them with a cost efficient, vegan protein source? They chia'd. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do porcupines play leapfrog? Very carefully from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do sailors finish a corny joke on a boat? Ba dum ship. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do trees get online? They just log in... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you catch a bra? You set a booby trap. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you catch a one of a kind rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a very calm rabbit? The tame way. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you catch a unique rabbit? *unique* up on it! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you confuse a fish? You put it in a bowl and tell it go to a corner! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you count cows? With a cowculator. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you find Will Smith in the winter? You search for Fresh Prints. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you get down from an elephant? You don't, you get down from a duck from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you get Pikachu on the bus? Poke 'em on! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you kill a circus? You stab it in the juggler. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you kill a vampire from the South? With a chicken fried stake from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you kill bread? Bake it for a little while, and it will be toast. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much? Because they built their stuff with reads! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you know you put the right joke in the right thread? Don't worry, someone will tell you. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you make 7 even? remove the "s" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you make a computer your best friend? You buy it a nice bunch of software and get it loaded! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you make a kleenex dance? You put a little Boogie in it! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you make a squid laugh? Ten tickles. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it! (Not sure of the spelling, heard it from someone). from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it. :) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you make gold soup? You use 14 carrots. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you pay for things in the Czech Republic? Cash or Czech Edit: a word from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you prepare for a party in space? You Planet Thanks u/BostonCentrist from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheburg. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you turn soup into gold? You add 24 carats! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How do you unlock a monastery door? With a monk key. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does a cactus do his math homework? He uses a cacti lator! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does a duck pay for lipstick? She puts it on her bill from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend? Meat patty! Thought of you guys! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does a mathematician get Tan? Sin/Cos from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does Han Solo like to get around Endor? Ewoks from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does Harry Houdini tell people to steal stuff? Straight jack it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does the farmer count up his cows? ...with a cowculator. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does the man in the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How does the Mummy plan to destroy Superman? He's gonna lure him in to the crypt tonight. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How is a rabbit similar to a plum? they are both purple, except for the rabbit. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How long did it take for the police to catch the man running in his underwear? It was a brief chase... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb? CHANGE?! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many dancers does it take to change a lightbulb? 5,6,7,8 from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many ears does Captain Picard have? A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many goals did Germany score? gerMANY from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? FOUR! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many magazines did the racquetball footwear company make before going out of business? Tennis shoes (Also: can anyone think of a more succinct buildup? It seems kinda unwieldy to me) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many minimalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many nihilists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? # from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many roads must a man walk? 42. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many Romans does it take to screw in a light bulb? V. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it takes 5 episodes. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian.... I'll get my coat... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many Super Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just 1 but it will take 3 episodes. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Tentacles. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? ten tickles from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How many US Congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh, please. Like they've ever changed anything that needed it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How much did the pirate charge for corn? He sold them for a buccaneer. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How much did the skeleton charge for his excellent legal services? An arm and a leg. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How much do drum shaped sofas cost? 5 dollars per cushion. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How much do pirates pay for earrings? about a buck an ear. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How much does a pirate earing cost? A buccaneer from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How much does a truck full of bones weigh? A skeleTon from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced? A buccaneer! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? A buccaneer! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ear pierced? A buccaneer. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How much does wonton soup weigh? One ton, but I don't know anyone that'd wantonly order it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How to create a clean joke Step 1. Find a dirty joke Step 2. Clean it from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How was Rome split in half? With a pair of *Caesars* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
How was the Roman Empire cut in two? With a pair of Caesars. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I am not pro gay. I am not even amateur gay. But, I support their rights. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I asked my soap who it voted for, it said... I'd lather not say! note: This one came to me in the shower just now, gotta go back in now. Oh, the irony! I think. ~Skip from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely... ...if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I bought a duckdoo yesterday! 'What's a duckdoo?' "quack, quack" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... ...and so far, all it's been doing is gathering dust. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer, I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day. My amazing girlfriend told me this one from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I came into this subreddit expecting jokes about soap. I am mildly disappointed. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I came up with a joke about my old cell phone Nevermind, it tends to get terrible reception from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I can make a movie with my hand. All it takes is a FLICK of the wrist! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I can't stand Russian Dolls... They're always so full of themselves! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig ... Maybe not a funny joke but at least it is deep. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I do my best when my manager puts a gun to my head. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account... ...so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times. I've got 3 followers so far, but I think 2 are cops. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I don't have the faintest idea why I passed out Just a short pun from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I don't like going to funerals early in the day. I'm not much of a mourning person. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I farted on an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels. From /r/PeterL from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I fear for the calendar... ...its days are numbered. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I feed my cat lemons. He's a real sour puss. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I fell in the mud. And took a shower right after! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I fell off a forty foot ladder today.... lucky I was on the bottom rung. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I finally finished baby proofing the house. Let's see those babies get in here now. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I find hanging around in coffee shops A great way to espresso yourself from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I forgot where I threw my boomerang. Oh wait.. It's coming back to me now. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I got hit hard in the head with a can of 7up today... I'm alright though, it was a soft drink. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I had a conversation with a Mobius strip... It was one sided. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I had a joke about time travel but you guys didn't like it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I hate girls with double standards unless they're pretty from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I hate people who talk about me behind my back... They discussed me. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I hate when you're trying to be cheesy but everyone is laughtose intolerant. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I have a lot of jokes about the unemployed... ...but none of them work. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I have found that there are three kinds of people; Those who can count and those who can't. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I have the opposite of a photographic memory i have a potatographic memory. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I have to find a new personal trainer. He didn't do squat(s). from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I hear that in Star Wars VIII they're going to introduce Han's perpetually depressed younger brother. His name is Y Solo. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I heard a great joke about a boomerang earlier. I'm sure it will come back to me eventually. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I heard it's a good night to see the Perseid meteor shower . . . . . . but I haven't heard how it got dirty. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I heard she accidentally spilled her chocolate milkshake on her white poodle knick knack paddy whack give the dog a... bath!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I heard the best time travel joke tomorrow. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I invented a time machine... ...next week. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I just bought a Bonnie Tyler sat nav. It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I just found out I'm colorblind It came out of the yellow. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters... Its shift work. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I just heard because of the government shutdown government archeologists are working with a skeleton crew. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I just invented a new word! It's called "plagiarism". from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I just read this article about short term memory I don't remember what it was about from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I knew I was old when I opened internet explorer. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I knew this guy who was so dumb... he saw a road sign that said, "Disney Land Left", so he turned around and went home. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I knew this guy who would ask men at church, "is your tie made out of bird cloth?" <blank stare> "It's cheep, cheep, cheep." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I know a guy who collects candy canes... ...they are all in mint condition. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I know a woman who owns a taser... Let me tell you, she's stunning! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I like camping but... it's so in tents from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I like my jokes they way I like my robots. Killer. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I like my slaves like I like my coffee Free. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I like my slaves like I like my coffee: Free. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I love graphs! I used to be obsessed with them... I've calmed down now though, you've gotta draw the line somewhere from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I love self deprecating humour. Shame I'm no good at it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I love when I have dramatic realizations over my morning cereal... ... I call 'em "breakfast epiphanies" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I made a model aircraft. I wanted it to be an unpainted smooth finish wooden aircraft. So I made a plain planed plane plane. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I made half a cup of tea the other day... It was so nice I had two. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I may be middle class, but I'm hard. *Al dente*, you might say. **Jimmy Carr** from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I met Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day. He's head of quality control at Lays. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I named my cat "Curiosity". He killed himself ... Nine times. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I need this plant to grow. Well, water you waiting for? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming, I didn't go back for seconds. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I personally don't believe in bros before hoes or hoes before hoes.. There needs to be a balance. A homie hoe stasis from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I rang up a local builder and said, "I want a skip outside my house." He said, "I'm not stopping you." **Tim Vine** from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I read a story about a kid that ate 4 cans of alphabet soup in one sitting... It said that he later had a massive vowel movement. Maybe a dirty joke. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I said bring your coffee maker whenever you want Them: great headphones on planes is heavier than flying over TEAs from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I saw a documentary on how they make jeans... It was riveting. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I saw a middle aged man staring at a picture of his very first steps. With tears in his eyes, he told me he regrets ever replacing the steps with an elevator. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode... I asked, Are you two an item? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I still remember what my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket... "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I support farming and math... I'm pro tractor. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I the shell off a snail yesterday... you'd think it would move faster, but it was really kinda sluggish. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors... ...it's just something I can see myself doing. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I thought about starting a business selling halos... ...but the cost of overheads was too high. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I thought I had a brain tumor but then I realized it was all in my head. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I thought the dryer shrank my clothes.. turns out it was the refrigerator from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I tired playing soccer But I couldn't get a kick out of it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows on too high she looked surprised. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I tried to change my password to 14days... The computer said it was two week. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I try not to spend too much time online... ...but Wi Fight it? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I used to be addicted... to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around (x post from /r/jokes) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I used to work at an orange juice factory... I ended up getting fired because I couldn't concentrate. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I wanna make a joke about sodium. But Na. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Unlike the passengers in his car who were screaming and yelling! http://www.thedailyenglishshow.com/friday joke/98 how to die/ from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I was at Redbox, but I didn't know what to watch. I consulted my groceries, and my pizza said, "Keep Frozen." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I was driving today... And saw a sign that said, "Steamed Crabs". I began to wonder: "What made them so mad?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I was going to go to a clairvoyants meeting the other day but.... it was cancelled due to unforeseen events. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I was gonna make a joke on Reddit.. .. but I guess you've already Reddit somewhere. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I was thinking of ways to become transgender... So I figured I'd fly to Paris. Because then I'd be abroad. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I was walking in the desert and saw a redwood tree. I knew this must be a mirage, so I ran into it. To my dismay, the tree and I collided. I guess it must have been an obstacle illusion. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I was watching a TV program on various Religious orders and how the use stringed instruments. I was appalled by the amount of sects and violins! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger. And then it hit me. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I went for a job interview today... The interviewer said to me, What would you say your greatest weakness is? I said, I think Id have to say my listening skills are my greatest strength. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I went in to a pet shop and said, Can I buy a goldfish? The guy said, Do you want an aquarium? I said, I dont care what star sign it is. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I went out with anorexic twins last night... 2 birds, 1 stone from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I went to a seafood disco last week... ...and pulled a mussel. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I went to a shredded cheese convention the other day... it was grate from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I went to an ATM... I was at an ATM this morning and this older lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I went to the dermatologist about something on my neck and they said I just needed to scrub it!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I went to the store and asked for a one handed sailor... he said sorry, "I'm a wholesaler." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I would make a sparrow joke... But they don't fly very well. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I would never exaggerate... ...in a million years. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I would think you'd have to be open minded... ...to be a brain surgeon. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'll always remember what my uncle said before he passed on up... "Flying houses? Talking dogs? That movie looks dumb." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm a social person. I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm calculating how much it would cost to install lights for a little league baseball field A ballpark estimate would be perfect from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm getting mighty fed up with these sheep human hybrids! What is with ewe people!? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm going to stand outside... So if anyone asks, I am outstanding. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know why. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm in the terminator musical. I'll be Bach. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm making a band! I started a band called 999 Megabytes...we havent gotten a gig yet. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm naming my TV remote Waldo... ...for obvious reasons. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm not really sure I'm understanding this financial crisis in Greece... It's all Greek to me. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm reading a book about anti gravity. I can't put it down. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm reading a book about anti gravity... ... It's impossible to put down from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm so sad because my friend is moving to Shanghai. More like Shang bye. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm tired of people calling America the dumbest country in the world Quite frankly, I think Europe is! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I'm very keen I could tell he was bald at the drop of a hat. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I've just made a meeting site for retired chemists It's called Carbon Dating from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
I've won the war! My pants fit! **Congratulations, have you lost weight?** Even better... I've bought new pants!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If all of Ireland sank, what part of it wouldn't? County Cork from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If I bought a balloon for $0.99 ... How much should I sell it for when I adjust for inflation? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If I don't eat all of my food, it goes to waste. If I do eat all of my food, it goes to *waist*. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If I ever fire someone who is a Taylor Swift fan I'll say "I knew you were trouble when you clocked in." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If life gives you melons, you might have dyslexia. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If Mr. Bean lost one of his legs he'd be cannellini! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If the house is in the kitchen, and Diana's in the kitchen, what's in Diana? A state (Indiana) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If you bury someone in the wrong place then you have made a grave mistake. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. *They're normally around 90 degrees.* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If you give a mouse a cookie.. If you give a mouse a cookie.. Why are you giving a mouse any food? That's unsanitary. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If you have bladder problems. Urine trouble. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If you walk into the bathroom an American and walk out an American, what are you in the bathroom? European. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If you're American, when are you not American? When European. Or when you're Russian. Any more? :) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
If you're not buying kraft mac and cheese you might be buying an impasta. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Im trying to get into classical music... ...but I cant find any original recordings. All the music is performed by cover bands. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
In what town lives the mathematician who can only multiply by two? Dublin. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Is it just me... ...or are circles pointless? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Is your refrigerator running? Well, you better get glasses, and stop doing drugs from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
It's an emergency! I need underwear jokes. My baby sister needs underwear jokes for some mysterious reason. I need your guys help! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
James Bond went to get a haircut. The barber asked him if he wanted to dye his hair as well. Bond replied "Dye another day." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Jesus wrote a play about a tornado. It was an Act of God. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
JKLMNOPQRST That's all that stands between U and I :) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Joke request Tell me your best joke that includes "July" "fourth" and "fire" Let's see what you've got, Reddit! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Just found this sub the other day and I've come to this realization... Currently, this subreddit seems to be in quite the pickle. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Just heard this on a PBS kids show... What did one wolf say to the other wolf? Howls it going? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Just went to an emotional wedding Even the cake was in tiers. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Just wrote a book on reverse psychology... Don't read it! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... ...but it's definitely up there. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Kind of a kid joke What kind of cereal do zombies like? Kellog's All Brain from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock knock Who's there? Impatient cow. Impatient co He already left. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock knock Who's there? Ash Ash who? Bless you.. P.S. kids love it from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock Knock Who's there Boo!! Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock knock Who's there? Abby. Abby who. A bee has stolen my wallet. (I will show my self out) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock knock! **Who's there?** *Tank* **Tank who?** *You're welcome* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
KNOCK KNOCK! WHO'S THERE! ***sombrero **** ^sombrero who,,,? *****SOMBRERO VER THE RAINBOW**** from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Doorbell technician. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrup........ MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! [Works best IRL](/spoiler) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock Knock... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock knock... "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Control Freak now you say 'Control Freak who?'" :) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock Knock... 1.Knock knock. Whos there? Yoda lady. Yoda lady who? Good job yodeling! 2.Knock knock. Whos there? Well, not your parents, because your parents never knock! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock knock... Who's there? I did up. I did up who? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock, Knock... Who's there? Peas. Peas who? *Peas pass the butter* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock, Knock... Who's there? The K.G.B. The K.G.B. wh... **SLAP**! WE are K.G.B., WE will ask questions!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock! Whos there? Control Freak. Con Okay, now you say, Control Freak who? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Last night, I had a dream that I was walking on a white sandy beach... At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Like most people my age... I'm 27. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Linuxmint 13 or 15 question why does 13 have lts and not newer versions? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Makeup beauty Omg = oh my girl so cute next morning without makeup Omg = ohh My God omg/omg = life without wife from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Mary had a little lamb. She's not a vegan anymore. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Math problem: I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9. What do I have now? "Oh, I do not know, DIABETES MAYBE!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Max wondered why the ball was slowly growing larger... and then it hit him. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Me have great grammar... Me learnt everything I know from Sesame Street! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Mints I was eating mint chocolates and I felt sick after eight. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Mom asked if I wanted to race toy cars with my neighbor Chucky. I responded, "Nah, that's child's play." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
More retailers should adopt the "Leave A Penny / Take A Penny" system. It is literally, common cents. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My "go to" zoo joke I tell this to my wife and kids every time we go to a zoo... Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A. Elephino from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My biggest problem with passive smoking is having to follow the smoker around. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My brother... Likes driving black and white F1 race cars. They call him the F1 racist. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My Bucket List * ~~Five gallon bucket~~ * ~~Mop bucket~~ * Bucket hat from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My buddy said he'd give his right arm to be ambidextrous I can only admire such dedication. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My buddy says he is the world's worst at self deprecating humor. he worried once he was too modest. Then realized he was wrong. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My buddy the hacker took the quiz "What Beatles song best describes your life." The answer he got: "My Way". from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My buddy went to a foreign country to get his sex change operation. Now he's a dude who's abroad. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My dad's not an alcoholic... ...He just collects empty bottles, sounds so much better, doesn't it? ~ Stewart Francis from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My daughter hit me with this one while preparing for dinner Why did the table love playing volleyball? Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My dog chewed up my laptop... I guess he wanted a byte to eat! ^imagine ^this ^in ^zoidberg's ^voice from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay. It wasn't justified. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My finger became really swollen after I jammed it Friday. And thats how I found out Im allergic to jam. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My first job... My first job out of college was a "diesel fitter" at a pantyhose factory... As they came off the line, I would hold them up and say, "Yep, deez'll fit her!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My first joke here and an original! Did you hear about the two lawyers who set up shop under the old oak tree? I heard it was a pretty shady business. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My friend gave me a balloon and told me not to pop it.. but I blew it! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My friend says she's doing good but she means well from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My friend told an out of place joke about police searches. But I don't think it was warranted. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My girl asks why I love chocolate so much. Well, I have several Reisens... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer... I said, No, wait! I can change! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all of her musical instruments. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60... Now hes 97 years old and we have no idea where he is... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My laptop is so dumb. Every time it says "Your password is incorrect", I type in: "incorrect" and the silly thing still tells me the same thing. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My old roommate's bathroom was so dirty I had to clean the soap before using it. (Seriously.) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My plumber finally quit on me... He couldn't take any more of my crap. Sorry that this isn't a CLEAN joke. Heh from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My relationship is like Monopoly. She gives me too many Chances. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My son decided to help me clean the car today. After ten minutes of watching him, I told him to use some elbow grease. Two hours later, the idiot came back and told me that he couldn't find it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My teacher's nickname in school is Flush. He always has the same suit. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
My uncle wanted to give all his sheep a sex change... But it entailed too many ramifications! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Need help While scratching my ear with key few hours ago, audio on my brand new TV went off. Does anyone know good TV Service. Sh... I think my Laptop sound died too. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Never play poker with a pieces of paper. They're bound to fold. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Never trust an atom They make up everything from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Never try to kill a termite with a napkin. It'll only get bigger. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
New Internet acronym: RALSHMICOMN Rolling Around Laughing So Hard Milk Is Coming Out My Nose from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Nickelback walks into a bar.... So Nickelback walks into a bar, and there is no punchline, because ruining music isn't funny. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
No matter how much you push the envelope... ...it's still stationery. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
No matter what anyone said, I was never going to take the stand. It's 1000 pages, for Pete's sake! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Noah wasn't much for civilized society . . . You could say he was an arc ist. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Note for Santa Dear Santa, Please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body. Please don't mix those two up like you did last year. Thanks. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Old Chinese proverb: Man who not shower in 7 days makes one reek. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Old game show bloopers...I miss this kind of humor today Found this video randomly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv3gK2bmkAk&feature=related from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
One Eskimo said to the other, "Where is your mother from?" The second Eskimo says "Alaska." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
One fifth of people... ...are just too tense! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
One potato asks another: "Are you sure we are related?" "Yes I yam!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
One time we ran out of soap so we had to use hand sanitizer!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
One time, a cow saved my life It was bovine intervention. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Original physics joke. I'm very proud. I was organizing my desk the other day and the Entropy Police gave me a ticket for disturbing the chaos. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Other uses for chloroform 1) A great conversational piece when talking to the cops about using it 2) Make the day go by faster 3) And finally, as a reagent. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Overheard: Augustus Caesar on New Year's Day: "I keep writing 'B.C.' on all my checks." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Overheated some milk in a lab experiment today... ...and asked the teacher if it would affect the result. Her response? "To a degree." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Pac Man What should you do before you criticize Pac Man? WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Passwords 123456 abcdef Password from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
People dont like having to bend over to get their drinks... We really need to raise the bar. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Pick up line for a Shakespeare lover. How now brown chicken brown cow? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Programmers tend to byte their food from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No eye deer (No idea) Q: What do you call a quadriplegic deer with no eyes? A: Still, no eye deer. (Still no idea) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Q) What do you call a group of 8 rabbits? A) Rabbyte! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Q)What will you call a person who sleeps next to a close relative? A) NapKin from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Reinventing Yourself http://dryinginside.blogspot.com/2012/10/reinventing yourself doesnt always work.html from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Request: Jokes for the sick? I have a good friend who was just hospitalized, hopefully nothing too serious. I'd love to send him a few short, clean jokes to cheer him up. Thanks! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Saitama tried to change his Facebook password to Goku but Facebook said it was too weak... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Santa keeps his suits in the clauset. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Says she: "Say something soft and sweet" Says he: "Marshmallow." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Scary Halloween Joke **Person 1:** Knock knock! **Person 2:** Who's there? **Person 1:** A GHOST!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Schooner or later, sailors... ...engage in rudder nonsense. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Science joke The bartender says "we don't serve your kind here" He orders a drink A Tachyon walks into a bar Who wants to hear a Tachyon joke? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Science Jokes Thread on AskReddit! For your amusement: http://en.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1auxsf/what are some funny scientific jokes that you know/ from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Seven days without a joke makes one weak. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Shall I tell you the joke about the body snatchers? Best not, you might get carried away. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Shout out to... ...baseball players who have three strikes. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
So a polar bear walks into a bar... and says, "I'll have a gin.....and tonic" The bartender says, "What's with the big pause?" And the polar bear says, "Oh, I've always had them." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
So I was feeling down the other day... My friend wanted to cheer me up, so he told me 10 jokes to make me feel better. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
So I work in a Steak House and all the people there are really lazy So I must say after working there: That it's rare to see a job well done from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
So today is Earth day on what grounds are we celebrating? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
So today is Star Wars day May the fourth be with you! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
So, a guy gave his friend 10 puns, hoping that one of them would make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
So, I have this new knock knock joke You start... (when you get it) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Soap addiction I used to be addicted to soap. But I'm clean now!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Some people have trouble sleeping... ...but I can do it with my eyes closed... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Someone dropped their Scrabble in the middle of the road... ...that's the word on the street anyway. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Someone sly sheared sleeping sheep. Talk about shear terror. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Someone talked to me today about having two X chromosomes. Typical woman. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Sports: So how's the shoestring game goin'? Right now, it's ***ALL TIED UP!*** Oh my oh my! I couldn't find a cornylamejokes subreddit, so... ~Skip from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Starcraft: Why did the marine vote for the dragoon? He was Protoss from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Superman and Eyore had a baby. The baby's name? Supereyore from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Tasted the best Borscht ever! It'll be hard to beet. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The cheesiest joke ever. "I don't feel grate." Block of Cheese before it got shredded. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza store... and says, "Can you make me one with everything?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The fast food restaurant for babies. "Welcome to Gerber King, may I take your order?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The Fine Bros. 'React' announcement was like a television with no antenna. Poor reception. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The Great Yarn Race **Joe:** Did you hear about the great yarn race? **Jane:** No. Who won? **Joe:** Well, they had to weave their selves through the obstacles and in the end, it was a tie. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The hairdresser's oath First, harm no 'do... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The hole in the boat So two guys steal a boat and get drunk. Kane of them goes "Hey, there is a hole in this boat". The other says "don't worry it's not ours". from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The joke of 2016 Trump from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The only one of its kind on this sub Want to hear a dirty joke? horse fell in the mud! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow... I called her up and asked, ''Did you get my drift?'' from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The other day, I was looking through my socks, when I found one had a hole in it... "darn it..." I muttered. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The pollen count that's a difficult job! [Credit to Milton Jones] from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The reason angels can fly... ...is that they take themselves lightly. **G. K. Chesterton** from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The scientists a scientist went to a remote island with a dog in order to teach his speaking. Three years later, the scientist returns, and is asked about his experiment; he replied "woof, woof, woof" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The signature dish of a restaurant called the Twisted Rooster: Mobius Chicken Strips. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The three unwritten rules of /r/cleanjokes are: 1. 2. 3. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
The victim's body was found in the kitchen surrounded by eight empty boxes of cornflakes. Police suspect it was the work of a serial killer. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary code and those who do not. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There are three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There are two types of people in this world 1. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There is a special species of bird that is really good at holding stuff together... They're called velcrows. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There once was a girl from Nantucket... Who carried her ice in a bucket. She walked down a hill. She had a great spill. And when she got up, she said, "I'm going to watch my step next time!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There once was a jealous zombie... But he ate his heart out. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There was a depressed sausage... he thought his life was THE WURST. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There were two flies sitting on a toilet seat... one got pissed off. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There were two snowmen standing in a field, one says to the other... Can you smell Carrots? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There's a guy at the office today wearing full camo. At least I think so... I haven't seen him in a while. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There's a TV channel where you can buy all the Pope's speeches It's called "Papal View". from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There's a wreath hanging on my door with hundred dollar bills attached. I call it an Aretha Franklin. c: from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
There's only one problem with reading articles about space based technology It all goes waaaay over my head. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, no ones laughing now. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
They told me I had type "A" blood... turns out it was a typo. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
This boy said he was going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.... I said, Is that a fret? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
This dermatologist waits a month to diagnose a skin disorder... She's reluctant to make a rash decision. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
This is 2 girls with 1 cup. [A.K.A. Friends At (a) Cafe Bar](http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/friends at cafe bar high res stock photography/156534295) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
This is an X and Z conversation... Y are you in the middle? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
This mallard waddled into a bar... Should've ducked. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
This Post just says it all! It all. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
This summer I'm going to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say, 'Get a life' on them. Demetri Martin from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Three drums and a cymbal rolled down a hill ba dum dum ching from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Three tomatoes are walking down the street... A papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato starts falling behind so the papa tomato squishes him and says, Ketchup! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like... bananas! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Today I brought a computer back from the dead. I've decided that this makes me a techromancer. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Today, the doctor told me that the bottom of my heart has stopped functioning. My girlfriend will be disappointed; that's the part I loved her from. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Today's my cake day! And I'm going to eat it too! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Totally original joke/first post: What do you get when you play a Frank Sinatra record at twice the speed? "Shrank Sinatra" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
TV playback craziness [Through the eyes of Adrienne Hedger](https://www.facebook.com/HedgerHumor/photos/pb.630201143662377. 2207520000.1443863939./1179935295355623/?type=3&theater). :) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two antennas met on a roof . . . Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married, the ceremony was awful but the reception was brilliant. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two artists had an art contest... It ended in a draw from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two atoms walk into a bar... One says, "Oh no, I've lost an electron." The other asks, "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two balloons are floating across the desert One balloon says to the other, Look out for the cactussssssssssssssssssss! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two birds are sitting on a perch. One bird says to the other, "Do you smell fish?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two bookworms were having a dispute... ...across an open book until one bookworm moves closer to the other and says, "well then, I'm glad we're on the same page." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two chimps are in the bath One says "ooh oooh eek eek" The other one says "well put some cold water in then!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two competing podiatrists opened offices next door to each other... They were arch enemies. Edit: Spelling from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two dogs are going on a walk down the street They walk past a few parking meters and one dog says to the other, "Hey, check it out! Pay toilets!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Buh dum tss! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba dum tss from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two fish are in a tank... Two fish are in a tank... First one says: I'll drive! Second one says: "I'll man the guns!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two fish in a tank Fish 1:Uh, Greg? Fish 2:What Fish 1:How do we drive this thing from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two fish in a tank. [x post from r/Jokes] One asks: How do you drive this thing? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two guys walk into a bar... the third one ducks. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" Says the first. "Moo!" says the second from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two peanuts were walking down the street.... And one of them was assaulted from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two pretzels.. Two pretzels went walking down the street, one was "assaulted" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Two wrongs don't make a right... but three lefts make a right. And two Wrights make a plane 6 lefts make a plane. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Velcro What a rip off. Joke by Tim Vine. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Wanna hear a construction joke? I'm working on it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Wanna hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in a mud puddle. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Wanna hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in the mud. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Two white stallions fell in the mud. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Wanna hear a joke about Nitric Oxide ? NO from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Wanna hear a joke about unemployed people? Nevermind, they don't work. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke joke jooooke! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Want to hear a clean Joke? Johnny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty one? Bubbles is a man from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Want to hear a dirty joke? This boy trips and falls into some mud. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Want to hear a joke about a crappy restaurant? Nevermind, I'm afraid it may be in poor taste. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind it is too cheesy. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's probably too cheesy. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Was going to make a joke about science but I know for I wont get a reaction... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Wash the alligator clips with rubbing alcohol during flu season Protect yourself from catching a terminal illness. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
We always bought our cars used, this one was as black as the night that is, until we washed it!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here, says the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
We now have TWO Wawa's by the interstate. The one on the east side of I4 is not so bad. But the other one, whoa. It's the Wawa West over there. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What age were pigs discovered in? The Saus Age. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? A bat! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What are caterpillars afraid of? DOGerpillars! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What are twins favorite fruits? Pears from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What are two doctors with colds An ironic Paradox. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter? envelope from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What bird can write underwater? A ball point Penguin! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What cars do cows drive? Cattleacs from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What cars do wolves drive? Auuuuuuuuuuuuudis! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What celebrity never payed with a cheque or credit? Johnny Cash. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree? Camembert! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What city loves to eat sandwiches? Koldcutta from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What colour T shirt would win a race? Red, because it runs the most. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What di you call a snowman in may? A puddle! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did aged mother cheddar say to her son the day of school photos? Looking sharp. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say upon being asked to star in a Broadway production about the world's greatest composers? I'll be Bach. Sorry. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did batman say to robin before robin got in the car? get in the car from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did Captain Ahab say when he harpooned a whale's tail fin on the first try? "Well that was a fluke." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did Cholera say to Malaria? Are you gonna Jaundice on Saturday? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did Cinderella say while waiting for her photos? Someday my prints will come from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did daddy fish do when mommy fish got herself lost? ...He flounder from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What Did Delaware? A brand New Jersey! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did Descartes say while shopping online? I think therefore I Amazon from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice cream? Sure, Bert! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did fish say when she hit the wall ? Dam(n) !!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did music tell the pancakes? B flat. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one casket say to the other? "Is that you coffin?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one dry erase marker say to the other? I'm bored! (As in board) Another one from my 9 year old. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one duck say to the other? Quack! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one earthquake say to the other? Hey, it's not my fault. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one frog say to the other frog? Time's fun when you're having flies. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one frog say to the other? Time's fun when you're having flies. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one math book say to the other math book? We've got a lot of problems. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one math book say to the other? Don't bother me; I've got my own *problems!* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one nose say when the other nose said "I love you"? "Back achoo!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one octopus say to the other octopus? Will you hold my hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess? "It's stale, mate." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one snowman say to the other snowman? 'Do you smell carrots?' from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did one wall say to the other wall? I`ll meet you at the corner. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did papa butter say to troublesome son butter? You had *butter* behave now, alright son? I sure know you don't want to get *whipped*! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head? I blame my shelf from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did socrates learn from the T rex? i dino from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did Tennessee? What Arkansas. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the 0 say to the 8? ... Hey, nice belt.. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the 0 say to the 8? Let's make a snowman! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the 8 say to the 0? Hey, fatty from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the amazed Kazakhstani say? That's Astana shing from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the American call Karl Marx when a shrine was dedicated to him in Japan? A Kami. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the apple say to the pear? [Man, go] away! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the bartender say to the jumper cables? You better not try to start anything. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the blonde do when she discovered that most accidents happen within a mile from home? She moved. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the blue denims say to the black denims? I guess we have different genes! *knee slap* ... I'll see myself to the door from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the Buffalo say when his child left for college? Bison from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the bunny say to the frog? [My name is Rabbit, not ribbit!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYkDxsaHlkg) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween? Happy halloweenie from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the closed can say to the half opened can? YOU'RE BEING UNCANNY! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the corn say when it was complemented? Aww, shucks! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day? Deja Moo! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the creepy scientist say to his new creepy wife? Let's grow MOLD together! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the dad buffalo say when his offspring left for college? Bison from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? "Look grandpa, no hands!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the elephant say to the horn less rhino? "Rhino horn?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the Estonian student say in language class? I'll never Finnish. *dodges tomato* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the eye say to the other eye? Something smells between us. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the famous musician say the moment he was born? *I'LL BE BACH* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the figurine say when the boot flew past her protective dome? "That was a cloche call!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? Oh, Dam. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the fish say when it hit the concrete wall? Dam from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall? Dam from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? Dam. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the flat iron say to the follicle? Now let me get this straight . . . from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the floor say to the desk? I can see your drawers! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the french butter say when it got stocked in the cooler? Beurre... I came up with this today while grocery shopping. I'm ridiculously pleased with myself. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the German air force eat for breakfast during WW2? Luftwaffles from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the German physicist use to drink his beer? Ein stein. From Big Nate, as told by my kid. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the German policeman say to his nipples? You are under a vest! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the green g**** say to the purple g****? "Breathe, stupid!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the green g**** say to the purple g****? "Breathe you idiot! Breathe!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the green light say to the red light? I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the hammer say to the drill? You're too boring. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the horse order at the bar? Chardaneiiiiiiggghhhhh from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the horse say when he fell over? "Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the host serve his guests for The Simpsons marathon night? Disco Stew! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the hot dogs name their child? Frank from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the Hungarian say to the annoying kid? "You're nothing budapest!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the knob say to the door? I LOCK you a lot! yep, its corny, indeed, but... I'm tryin'! ~Skip from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the koala bear say to the barber? You ca lip this? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the lazy surgeon say to his patient? Suture self! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the llama say when asked to a picnic? Alpaca lunch! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire? That he needed to address the situation from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? (x post from /r/3amjokes) [It's pasture bedtime!](http://www.reddit.com/r/3amjokes/comments/1y8d67/what did the mama cow say to the baby cow/) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the mama pig give her baby pig for its rash? ***OINKMENT!*** > (This exchange that I found on /r/tumblr makes this joke even funnier to me: > http://i.imgur.com/EzT0Bkd.jpg) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the mexican firecheif name his kids... Hose A and Hose B from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the mom say to her son when he said he didn't want any of her flippin' pancakes? Fine. They will just be burnt on one side. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the neutrino say to the planet? Just passing through from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the number zero say to the number eight? "Nice belt." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the number zero say to the number eight? Nice Belt from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the O say to the 8? Nice belt. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the one wall say to the other wall? "Meet you at the corner" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the owner of a brownie factory say when his factory caught fire? "I'm getting the fudge outta here!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the owner of the Indian restaurant say when he burned all of his bread? "Don't worry, it's a naan issue." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the pebble say to the rock? I wish I was a little boulder! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the Pelican say to the fish when he was running late for work? I'll catch you later! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the picture say to the Judge? I WAS FRAMED! I just now made that up. I feel good about this one! ~Skip from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the pilot say when his plane wasn't flying? "Aw man, that's a drag." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the pony say when he had a sore throat? Pardon me, I'm just a little hoarse. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the priest say when watering his garden? Let us spray. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired? Oh snap! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the slab of meat say when it was covered in salt and left out to dry? "I'm cured!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the space between two tiles say? I AM GROUT from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the tailpipe say to the muffler? I'm exhausted. What did the muffler say back? ^mmmmbfmbm from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the three holes in the ground say? Well, well, well My grandpa's favorite joke. Took me five years to get it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? Curses! Foil again! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the topic sentence say to the evidence? Why aren't you supporting me? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look at me I'm changing. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the Triangle say to the Circle? "Your life is pointless." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? "Quack, quack, quack." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the wall ask the picture? (All together now!) ***"How's it hangin'?"*** ~Skip from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did the zero say to the eight? nice belt from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did they call the Pillsbury Doughboy after he hurt his leg? Limp Biscuit from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did Vincent van Gogh call himself when he joined the Justice League? The Starry Knight from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What did Virginia get when she walked into the pet shop? (state joke) A New Hampshire from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do beef hearts smell like? Honey. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do call a horse that lives near you? A naybor from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do call a horse that lives near you? A neighbor (naybor for pessimist horses) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do Catholics and guitar players have in common? Neither of them practice. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do cows do for fun? They go to the mooooo vies. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do cows like on their hotdogs? MOOstard. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do cows like to put on their hot dogs? moostard from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do ducks do at Christmas time? They duckerate cookies. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do Egyptians do when their mass transit breaks down? Get Anubis. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do Engineers use as birth control? Their Personality. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do fish smoke? Seaweed! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do fish think about air? It's UN B REATHABLE! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do gamers plant in their garden? Skill trees! **Dances wildly with top hat and cane** from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do get when you cross 50 female pigs with 50 male deer? One hundred sows and bucks? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do lawyers wear to court? Law suits! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do mathematicians get if they stare at the roots of negative numbers for too long? Square eyes from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do the French call artificial feet for cats? Faux Paws from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do they call a monastery key that opens all doors? Monk key from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do vegan zombies eat? Graaaaains! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAAINS from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do vegan zombies eat? GRAAAIIINSSS! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graaaaaaiiiins...... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you cal a bear with extreme mood swings? A bi polar bear. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call 99 bunnies walking forward and they take one step backwards? A receding hare line. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a alligator in a vest? Investigator. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a bald porcupine? Pointless! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a barbarian you can't see? an Invisigoth. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a bear with no teeth? *A gummy bear.* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a bee from the wrong side of town? A bumblegee from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowtain. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a black and white bird that can't win, nor fly. A peng lose. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer. What do you call a blind deer with no legs? *Still* no eye deer. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A Stick from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? pt 2 A boomer WRONG! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a bug that can't talk? A hoarse fly. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a bulimic tree? Sycamore. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a bunch of Asian bears roaring? Panda monium. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a burial chamber full of Moose? Moosoleum. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a camel in Alaska? Lost. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a camel with 3 humps? Humphrey. (I was told this joke by an actual dad, it was his response to one of my jokes) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a car that eats other cars? A carnivore. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cashew in space? An astronut. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cavator that isnt a cavator anymore? an EXcavator from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a chef who's stingy with herbs? PARSLEYMONIOUS from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a chicken crossed with a cow? Cock a doodle moo! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a con artist who minored in psychology? Sigmund Fraud from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction! !!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A Milk Dud. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Lean beef. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cow with one leg? Steak. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cow with only two legs? Lean Beef! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cow with three legs? Tri tip. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? A cross. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a dead fly? a flew from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a deep sea diving dog? Scuba Doo! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a dinosaur FBI agent? A pteredacted. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a discounted Zuckerberg? Marked down! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a dog in a diving bell? A sub woofer from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't bother, he's not coming. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call it, it won't come. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! :D from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a father who was kidnapped in Iraq? A Baghdad. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a fear of horned bovines? Aurochnophobia. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a fish that operates on brains? A brain sturgeon. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a fish who works for the government? An Official. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a fish with no eye? fsh from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a fish with no eyes? ....a fssshhh... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a flower in Florida? Orlando Bloom. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Philoppe. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a group of Combi's? A Combi nation! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a group of Geometry classes? A geomeforest. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a group of people standing in the arctic circle? A Finnish line. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store? Guardians of the Galaxy. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a happy penguin? A pengrin! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a Jihadist that loves turkey? A Tryptophanatic. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a lion in the circus. A Carny vore from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a loaf baked in a zoo? Bread in captivity. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a Macho Man Randy Savage that does not belong to you? >Nacho Man Randy Savage!!!!! this is my original content!!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a man with his big toe above his shin? Tony from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rubber Toe! (Roberto) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a Mexican with crazy intentions? A locomotive! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a midget psychic that broke out of prison? A small medium at large! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a monk that operates a door unlocking service? A monkey. (p.s. I have a wonderful, terrible love for bad jokes) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a Moroccan candy distributor? Fez dispenser. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a native american cook a sioux chef from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a noisy Chinese dog? How Ling (my dad wanted me to post this) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a nose without a body? Nobody knows... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a nosey pepper? Jalapeno Business from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a number that cant keep still? A roamin numeral. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a one eyed dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesarus (Credit goes to whoever submitted that to the Coffee News) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a pachyderm that sings jazz? Elephants Gerald from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a penguin with a smoking problem? It's a puffin! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a person who farts in private? A private tutor from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a pig that does karate? *A pork chop.* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a pile of dogs? A ruff terrain. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowtin from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a plastic sheep? Lambinated! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a productive Asian? China get something done. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a race ran by female horses? A mare a thon. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a race run by baristas? A **decaf**alon from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a Romanian grocery clerk? Scanthesku from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A candy baa from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a slice of bread from another country? An immigraint. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a smart pig? Swinestein. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a social media platform designed for religious people who also have speech impediments? Faithbook from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a spider with no legs? A raisin from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want to it can't here you! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a t shirt with stalks of wheat on it? A crop top! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a truthful piece of paper? Fax. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a ubiquitous spud? A common tater! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a vampire that sucks mucus instead of blood? nose feratu! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a vegetarian? A hopeless romaine tic from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a very religious person who sleep walks? A Roman Catholic. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a white supremacist who doesn't eat meat? A vegitaryan from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool? A broad abroad on a board aboard. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an alien in a swamp? A MARSHian from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an alligator with a vest? An Investigator! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an animal that goes through your trash and tells great stories? A raccoonteur. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an antelope that wants a big wedding? Cantelope from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an atheist bone? A blasfemur. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ? Ulta Magnus! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an economics lecturer? Prof. it from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an economist at an amusement park who is just sitting around? A lazy fair goer! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an effeminate dwarf? A metro gnome.... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an Egyptian bone setter? Cairo practor. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an Egyptian doctor who works on peoples backs? A Cairopractor! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an elephant with a poor memory? A bold and innovative departure from the hackneyed stereotypes that all too often dominate the joke telling industry. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an imaginary color? A pigment of your imagination. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an Italian guy with a rubber toe? Roberto from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an Italian romance novel model who's let himself go? Flabio from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an obese psychic that works at a bank? A four chin teller from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an old fruit picker in Wisconsin? Cherry atric from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call an old soldier who has been sprinkled in salt and pepper? A seasoned veteran. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call Batman skipping church? Christian Bail. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call cheese that is by itself? Provolone from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call coffee made from coal? Tarbucks. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call fake German currency? Question marks from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call it when Google Glass connects to the internet? Eye fi. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call it when someone resuscitates a person who chokes on alcohol? La chaim lich maneuver. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate? Brown chichen Brown cow from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call it when your wife brings you rice porridge in prison? Congee gal visit from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call people who pretend to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day? Counterfitz from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call Protestants who want to save a dime? Econoclasts. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? Shear madness. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call someone that steals shoes? A sneaker. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call someone who majors in geology and astronomy A rockstar from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call someone who makes a lot of money through deforestation of the Amazon? A Brazillionaire! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call someone who really loves breakfast? A cereal killer. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call someone who serves smelly drinks? a Fartender from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call someone who wears leather, likes bondage and likes getting inked? Moleskine from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call someone who's studied Old Norse literature and become an expert. Well edda cated. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call soup that you've found a hair in? Rabbit Soup :D from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call the delivery boy at an Indian restaurant? Curry er. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call the Hamburglar's accomplice? hamburglar helpler from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call the James Brown songs no one listens to? Defunct funk. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call the object Attila the Hun uses to brush his leg hair? A Hun knee comb. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call the ultimate fish doctor? The Sturgeon General from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call thrusting a hairy rod in and out of your mouth really fast then afterwards spitting out a white liquid? Brushing your teeth from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call two crows? Attempted murder. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call two guys above a window? Curt 'n Rod from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call Washington State after a long rain storm? Washed a Ton State. I woke up with that joke in my head this morning. My brain is weird. Had to share it with someone. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you call... What do you call an Italian romance novel model who's let himself go? Flabio. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you do if a cow is in the middle of the road you're driving on? steer clear from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you do if you see a spaceman? You park in it, man. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you do to dead chemists? You barium. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you find in a cloud's shorts? Thunderpants! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get for the women who has everything? A divorce, then she'll only have half of everything. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a cartridge? A snapshot. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you cross a firecracker and a duck? A firequacker. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you cross a pig and a spider? Bacon and scrambled leggs. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? 'ell if I know wot to call it! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow? A stern rebuke from the Ethics Committee, and an immediate cessation of funding. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you cross Kansas with a vulture? Carrion my wayward son from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft? A flat miner. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you mix Michael Jordan with Donald Trump? A Dunkin' Donut. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you mix two chains and a cow? Truuuuuuuuuuu moooooooooooooooooo!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you get when you sit on a potato? A potato wedge! (I made this up when I was 9) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you say to someone who is making a cardboard belt? "That's a waist of paper!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you say to the Montana barista when they overfill your chamomile? Beautiful from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? Are you having a crisis? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you say when you find two banana peels together? Answer: A pair of slipper from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What do you say when you see three whales? Whale whale whale, what do we have here? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car? They pilaf. I'll show my way out from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a baker wear on his feet? Loafers. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a can of tuna say? Premium flaked tuna Best before dd/mm/yy from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a duck call a tractor? A quacktor from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a ghost cow say? *wave arms around* MoooooOOOOOOoooooooo from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a hawk call a high ledge A *falcony!* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a Jedi say after a tragic loss of life? "May my thoughts be with them". from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a mexican magician make for breakfast? Toast tah dahs! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a rock do all day? Nothing. (this joke was made by daughter when she was 5) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a storm cloud have on beneath its clothes? Thunderwear! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a train full of grain's whistle sound like? "COUS, COUS!!!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does a Vulcan lawnmower need to function? A spock plug. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does batman take in his whiskey? Just ice. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does Captain Kirk wear to the fitness center? Jim shorts. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does clark kent have for breakfast? alter eggos from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does Colonel Mustard's Mexican maid call him? *(Phonetically ish)* Mis'ser Dijon. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does December have that other months dont have? The letter D. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does Drew Carey have in his driveway? Cleveland Rocks! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does Mario use to get his hot dogs off the grill? He uses his Donkey Tongs. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does music have to do with safety? If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does r/The Donald call its rule list? The MAGA Carta from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What does the horse call the pigs on his farm? Neigh boars. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What electronic device leaves behind a lot of broken glass? A PC, seeing how they typically run on Windows! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What form of radiation bakes you cookies? A gramma ray from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What fruit do Romeo and Juliet eat? Cantelope from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What game do you play with a wombat? Wom. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What gets longer the more you cut it at both ends? A ditch. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What goes "Hahahahaha...*thud*"? Someone laughing their head off from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What goes oh oh oh? Santa walking backwards. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What goes up and down but does not move? Stairs from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What gun do you use to hunt a moose? A moosecut! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What haircut did the Texan barber recommend when asked? He couldn't think of anything, and said "I'll mullet over" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happened to the butched after he backed into the meat grinder? he got a little "behind" in his work from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happened to the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl? They had a MetLife crisis. (that's the name of the stadium) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare? He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happened to the runny nose... it tripped and fell. Now it's all boogered up. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happened to the tyrannical fruit? He was impeached! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happened to the tyrannical peach? He got impeached! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happened when porky pig fell asleep at his construction job? The foreman fired him, saying, 'We can't have bored boars boring boards.' from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happened when the carrot died? There was a huge turnip at the funeral. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house? ...it was repossessed! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens at night in Bangladesh? It gets Dhaka from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens if socialism comes to the Sahara? Old Soviet era joke told in Russia: What happens if socialism comes to the Sahara? Nothing at first, but then the sand shortages will start. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens if you drink 3.14 liters of water? you will Pi ss from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens if you pass gas in church? You have to sit in your own pew. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens when a spoon and fork get into a fight? civilwar from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens when breed a shark and snowman? You get a frostbite! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens when you don't serve drinks at a party? There's no punch line. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens when you get some vinegar in your ear? You suffer from pickled hearing! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens when you steamroll Batman and Robin? They become flatman and ribbon. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What happens when your cousin eats all the Pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving? Plump kin! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What has a bottom at the top? Your legs. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What has more letters than the alphabet? The post office. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What has six eyes but cannot see? Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What has two arms and 14 legs? Guy who collects legs. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What have you got if your pet kangaroo gets into molasses and Indian curry? An Indian goo roo from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What instrument does God play? He plays the cello. As it says in scripture: "Our God is a cellist God." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is a bacteria's OTHER favorite dish? The PETRI dish! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is a martian's favourite chocolate? A mars bar from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is a pair of sheep's favorite instrument? Two Baaas. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is a rocket's favorite meal? Launch! Another one from my 9 year old. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is a spectre's favorite theme park attraction? The Roller Ghoster from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is a traveler's favorite font? Times New Roamin'! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is a tuna's favorite city? Albacoreque. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? a Neck tarine From a great co worker from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is agitated buy joyful? A washing machine from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is an astronaut's favorite meal? Launch from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is black, bitter and dont work worth a damn? Decaf coffee from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is black, white, and red all over? A Communist Propaganda film from the 1930s. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
WHAT is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WAH TAHH!!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is Captain Ahab's favorite reggae band? Bob Marley and The Whalers! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is Forrest Gump's favorite pasta? Penne from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table. [Thanks, Wagon Train camper!] from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is green, has four legs and if it fell out of a tree and landed on you it would kill you? A pool table! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is green, sings and can be found in the fridge? Elvis Parsley from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is H.P. Lovecraft's cook book called? The Necronomnomnomicon. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is heavy forward but not backward? **ton** from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny Farts. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is irony? Irony is when something has the chemical symbol Fe. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is ISIL's favourite dessert? Terrormisu from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is Jackie Chan's favorite drink? Wata from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is Mozart doing right now? *Decomposing* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is Mozart doing right now? Decomposing from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is Paula Deen's favorite insect? The Butterfly from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is robot jazz called? Beep Boop Bop! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the ardent task of searching for a new wallpaper called? Running a Backgroud Check. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the cheapest part of a boat? The part with the sail in it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the difference between a man and a cat? One eats a lot, is lazy and doesnt care who brings the food. The other is a pet. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the difference between a Siberian husky and an Alaskan husky? About 1500 miles. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the difference... What is the difference between unlawful and illegal? One is against the law and the other is a sick bird. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the horror movie Quija rated? Quija 13 from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the last thing to go through a fly's mind when it hits a windshield? Its butt. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the medical term for owning too many dogs? [A Roverdose](http://i.imgur.com/BtyF5ys.jpg) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the most religious unit in electrical engineering? Ohm. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the Sun's favorite candy? Starburst! Another one from my 9 year old. I don't know where he gets it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the swamp dwellers favorite form of extraterrestrial life? the Martians from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is the world famous Chef Gordan's favorite football team? The Ramsays from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What is tuba plus tuba? Fourba! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What Johnny Mercer song does December 21st remind you of? Autumn Leaves. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What keeps the lions from leaving the savannah the ele fence from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What killed the guy ordering at an Italian restaurant? He'd had trouble deciding to go with the appetizers or entrees, but eventually he went antipasto way. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of bee can never be understood? A mumble bee. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of bee will not take credit for his contributions? A Humblebee. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of bees make milk? Boobies. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of bird can write? A penguin. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of birds stick together? Vel crows from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of boats do smart people ride on? Scholar ships! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of car did the German cowboy purchase? Audi *tips hat* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of dish does LeBron like? anything with curry in it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of dog can do magic tricks? A labracadabrador. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano? Oh, you guessed it right ... the tuna fish! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of house does a stoned loaf of bread live in? A high rise from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of jackets do Audiophiles wear? FLAC jackets from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of jeans do ghosts wear? Boo Jeans from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of music does a printer make? A paper jam. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of pants does Super Mario wear? [Denim, denim, denim.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0SuIMUoShI) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of pants does Super Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What kind of soda do dogs drink? Barq's Root Beer. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What language do they speak in Holland? Hollandaise. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good? Arcane gel! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What name is given to the most chickens ? pEGGy from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What other body parts did Voldemort not have apart from his nose? His legs and arms.. because he was disarmed and defeated. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What should you do before criticizing Pac Man? WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers? French Flies! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What side of a leopard has the most spots? The outside from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What song can never be played on #throwback Thursday? Friday by Rebecca Black from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What state do most people live in? Denial. Myself included. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What the plate say to the other plate? Dinners on me from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What the the electrician say to his buddy? Watts up?! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What time do you go to the dentist? 2:30 from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What Time Do You Go To The Dentist? Tooth Hurty! XD from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What type of cheese lives under your bed? Muenster. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What type of doctor prescribes Coke and 7 up for a living? A Poptometrist! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What type of grain uses profanity? Vulgar Wheat from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What type of melon would Romeo and Juliet have been? Cantaloupe. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What type of school did Sherlock Holmes go to? Elementary :) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What type pf culture is most peaceful and never gets angry? Nomads! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA NA NA NA! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What was Carl Sagan's favorite drink? Cosmos. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What was Dr Frankenstein's second job? He was a body builder from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What was Marie Curie's fitness program on the airwaves called? Radio Activity from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What was the allergic 2"X4"'s terrifying hallucination? He sawdust. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What was the car doing in the dressing room? Changing attire. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What was wrong with the wooden car? It wooden go. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's a baker's biggest fear? Something going a rye while they're raisin' bread. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's a blind person's favorite fast food joint? Taco Braille from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's a comedian's favorite candy? Laffy Taffy. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's a difference between a teacher and a train? The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's a dog's favorite mode of transportation? A waggin' from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's a martini's favorite garnish? Olive 'em! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's a pigs favorite muscle? The hamstring. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's a pirate's favorite letter? The C. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it's the "R" but it's really the "C". Happy talk like a pirate day! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's a reporter's favorite food? Ice cream because they always want a scoop! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? Coincidence on 34th Street from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's an idealist vegetarian's favorite meal? Peas and hominy from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's an oven's favorite comedy routine? Deadpan. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite animal? Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's Beethoven's favorite fruit? A ba na na naaaaa from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's brown and sticky? A stick from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's brown and sticky? A stick. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's cold and scary?! I scream! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's faster hot or cold? Hot! Because anyone can catch a cold! buh duh tsst from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's George Washington's least favorite flower? Li[e] lacs! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's gray and all around? Everything. I'm a dog. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's green and fuzzy and can kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it'll kill you? A pool table. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's grey? A melted penguin! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's it called when a planet orbits its sun 8 times? An orbyte from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones? Trombones! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's Medusa's favorite kind of cheese? Gorgonzola. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's my New Year resolution? Well, I just got a Hi Def TV, so it's 1920 X 1080i. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's orange and sounds like a Parrot? A Carrot from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. Whats blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's red and is bad for your teeth? A brick from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's Sam Smith's favorite type of nut? [It's an alllllllllmond](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB63ztKnGvo&feature=youtu.be&t=37s) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's so great about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's that coffee drink with icecream? I used to know it, but... Affogato. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the best part of a baker's body? Their buns. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the best thing to put into a pie Your teeth. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the best way to capitalize on an opportunity? ON AN OPPORTUNITY from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the best way to get a hold of Vin Diesel? IM Groot. : D Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lvlj1u9S258 from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between a bag of chips and a duck with the flu? One's a quick snack and the other's a sick quack! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between a firstborn prince and a baseball? A baseball is thrown to the air. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar? You can't tuna fish! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza can have ham and cheese together. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between a piano, a tuna and a jar of glue? You: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Person getting told joke: What about the glue? You: I knew you'd get stuck there! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dessed man on a bicycle? Attire...!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between a Thai man and a Thai woman? Pls help. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between Bird flu and swine flu? For one you get tweetment and the other you get oinkment... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between Botox and Borax? Two letters. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates. #foreveralone from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Anyone can roast beef... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the difference between unlawful and illegal? Unlawful is against the law and illegal is a sick bird. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the first rule of bug ownership? Watch your step! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the internal temperature of a Taun Taun? Lukewarm from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the longest word in the dictionary? "Smiles" because there is a mile between each S! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the loudest economic system? CAPITALISM from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the most beautiful thing in Advanced Physics? A passing grade. :) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the most beautiful thing in mathematics? A cute angle from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the smartest dinosaur? Thesaurus Rex! omg, I crack myself up! ~Skip from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
What's the strongest letter in the alphabet? ***P*** Even Superman can't hold it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Whatever you do, always give 100%... Unless of course, you're donating blood. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Whats brown and rhymes with "snoop"? Dr. Dre from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr Dre from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Whats brown and sticky? a stick from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Whats brown and sticky? a stick! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Whats Marios favorite type of jeans? denim denim denim! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Whats Red and Smells Like Blue Paint? Red Paint from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Whats the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Whats the problem with tainted money? It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win? :D) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When Captain Picard's sewing machine broke he brought it to the repairman and said... "make it sew." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When do elephants have eight feet? When there are two of them. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? When there's a sail on it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When does one play a corny game? You play it by ear. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread... it's called gluten tag. I'll show myself out. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When I grow old, I am sure I will look back at my life and say "aaaah! my neck hurts" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When is a door not a door? When it's a jar from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When is booger not a booger? When it('s not). from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When is the month when the most trees fall? Sep timber from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When you ask a girl, Wanna go to the gym with me? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQegAi6d MM from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
When you cook duck you should always add a little bit of goose It makes a game out of every bite. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where did Napoleon Bonaparte keep his armies? In his sleevies. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? To the retail store! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where did the fish go when it needed an operation? To the sturgeon from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where did the general keep his armies? In his sleevies! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where did the mistletoe go to become rich and famous? Hollywood. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where did the seaweed... Where did the seaweed find a job? In the "Kelp Wanted" section of the want ads. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where did the team get there uniforms? New Jersey from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where did the universe attend college? At the university. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do Cows go for parties? The Moovies from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do dinosaurs get their pickles from? Vlasic Park from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do dogs go when they lose their tails? To a retail store. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do literal dogs live? On the roof. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do pots go on vacation? JaPAN! From my 9 year old. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do rabbits like to eat breakfast? IHOP! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do sick boats go? The dock! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do snowmen dance? At the snowball! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do toilets live? Porcel Lane. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do weirdos ride their bicycles? Psycho paths. (as told by one of my coworkers) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do you buy Pikmin from? The Oli Mart from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do you drown a hipster? The Mainstream. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie. (sounds like way up high) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae School from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where does a river keep it's money? At the bank. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where does dubious pasta come from? The spaghetto. I can't take all the credit, however: I heard the word from [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/xdp4k/the gaydar/c5lnkep) guy from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where does the little king keep his little armies? Up his little sleevies. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where does the thumb meet its type? At the SPACE BAR! reddit is fun! I'm staring at the keyboard tryin' to think up a joke and voila'! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Where is Engagement, Ohio? Between Dayton and Marion. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which celebrity is great at creating probate documents? Will Smith from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which cheese is the loneliest? Prov alone! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which day do chickens fear most? Fryday. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which fairground ride is made of iron? The ferrous wheel from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot is faster. Anyone can catch a cold. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which is the most silky planet? Satin! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which kitchen appliance tells the best jokes? The beater he cracks everybody up! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which letter of the alphabet is the laziest? letter G (lethargy) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which Pokemon got a cold? Pik a choo. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which side of a horse has the most hair? The OUTSIDE! oh my goodness, that's hilarious! ~Skip from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which US state is the friendliest towards the Japanese? Ohio from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which way will it fall? If a rooster lays an egg on a pointed roof, which way will it land? Roosters don't lay eggs from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which whiskey should you buy if you want to dance all night? Wild Twerky! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Which word is the longest in the English language? Smiles because there is a mile between the first and last letters from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who invented fractions? Henry the 1/8 from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with? Thor. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who is the roundest knight at King Arthur's table? Sir Cumference. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who is William Shatner's mythical nemesis? The Lepre khaaaaannnnn!!!!! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who makes the sweetest video games? Masahiro Saccharide from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who was the chicken's favorite musician? BAAAACH BACH BACH BACH from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who was the knight that invented the round table? Sir Cumference. (via friend who got this from a street performance group in the England area of Epcot) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who was the most important Knight of the Round Table? Sir Cumference. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who was the only novelist with both direction and magnitude? Vector Hugo. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who's bad at baseball but fun at parties? A pitcher filled with margaritas! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Who's the world's greatest underwater spy? Pond. James Pond. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are bears so hairy ? They don't have salons in the jungle ! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one *tale* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are colds such bad robbers? Because they're so easy to catch! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are giraffes slow to apologize? It takes them a long time to swallow their pride from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are giraffes' necks so long? Because their heads are so far away from their bodies. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are horses never overweight? They're on a stable diet. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are jokes about rotten eggs banned? Because they're infeggtious from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are locomotive drivers so good at driving locomotives? Because they were trained. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are manhole covers round? Because manholes are round. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are pirates so mean? I dont know, they just arrrrrrrrr! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are proteins so cranky? Because they're made of a mean ol' acids. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are some chillies nosy? They're jalapeno business from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are the nordic countries the best countries to live in? Their flags are big plusses. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are there fences around graveyards? people are just dying to get in there these days. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are there no midget accountants? They always come up short. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why are there only two hundred and thirty nine beans in a bowl of bean soup? Because just one more and it would be two farty from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why aren't sumos chummy with racecar drivers? They move in different circles. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why arent koalas actual bears? They dont meet the koalafications. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why can't a Pirate make it through their ABC's? They always get lost at C. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom ... because the "p" is silent from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because of the silent P. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why can't you hear it when a pteranodon goes to the bathroom? Because they're all dead. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why cant college students take exams at the zoo? Too many cheetahs from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't Bach pay for his dinner? Because he was Baroque. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't Elsa hold on to a balloon? She would always let it go. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't Joe be friends with a double amputee? Because he's lack toes intolerant. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't the alligator satisfy his lover? He had a reptile dysfunction. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast? The game warden found out he poached his eggs! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning? He was *too far out, maaan*. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't the melons be together? Everyone knows melons cantaloupe. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't the pony sing? He was a little horse. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't the skeleton cross the street? Because he didn't have the guts! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why couldn't the woman date a German man? Because she was Klaustrophobic! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach ... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did Beethoven kill off his chickens? They kept saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did everyone trust the marsupial? Everything he said was troo from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for a lousy summer. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did Little Miss Muffet have GPS on her Tuffet? To keep her from losing her whey. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did Mrs. G**** leave Mr. G****? She was tired of raisin kids. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did no one ever consider Tony Stark (the Iron Man) a protagonist? Because he was always cited as the Anthony hero. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did peanut butter flop at the talent show? He didn't have the right jam. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the air freshener company go out of business? Because they lacked common scents... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the bacteria cross the microscope? To get to the other slide from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head? From a distance they look like hares! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the banker leave his job? he lost interest from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the bee go to the doctor? Because he had hives. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the bigamist cross the road? To get to the other bride. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the boy take a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the boy throw a clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the Buddhist monk refuse Novocain? Because he wanted to transcend dental medication. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled? He wanted to transcend dental medication. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chef invest in chicken and cow bones? He wanted to buy stock options. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chess master order a Russian bride? He needed a Chech mate! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the Chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road half way? She wanted to lay it on the line. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Gordon ramsey from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the moron's house. *knock knock* ^^Whose ^^there? *the chicken...* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the opossum it could be done. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken lay an egg? (Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken soup cross the road? Because it was down hill! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the chicken? Q: Why did the chicken cross the road naked? A: Because chickens don't wear clothes. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it was mugged. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the cop wake up his son? To stop a kid napping. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the Country Bear Jamboree bear blush? Because he was a bear a singing. ..... I am at Disney with the kids this week... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the cow go to the psychologist? She had a fodder complex. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the cowgirl name her pony ink? Because it kept running out of the pen!! My favorite joke when young :). from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken didn't exist. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the dog go into the water? Because he didn't want to be a hot dog. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the dog sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home? He forgot to pack his trunk. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the Fall break off from all the other seasons? Because it wanted autumnomy from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the fly fly? Because the spider spied her. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the fox cross the road? It was chassing after the chicken! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? She was fed up with the hole business. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the girltree fall in love with the boy tree? He was sappy from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the golfer need to buy a new pair of socks? Because he got a hole in one! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants In case he gets a hole in one from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the grocery delivery guy get fired? He drove people bananas! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the hippie drown? He was too *far out*! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the jellyroll? He saw the apple turnover. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the knife quit? It couldn't CUT IT! woohoo! I made this one up while sitting at a buffet table. Enjoy! ~Skip from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the Kurd bury his music collection? His tribesman said "ISIL is approaching, and they're coming for Yazidis." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the lettuce get arrested? ...for disturbing the peas! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the library book go to the doctor? It needed to be checked out; it had a bloated appendix. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the man throw his watch out the window? He wanted to see time fly! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second hand shop! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the mechanic go to art school? Because he wanted to learn how to make a van go! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the melon try so hard to get her father's approval? Because she cant aloupe from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the mobster buy a planner? So he could organize his crime from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the mortgage broker go out of business? ...because he lost interest. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the orange move to veggieland? So he could live in peas and hominy. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the packaged green onion get into trouble? Because it was a wrapped scallion. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon? There was no atmosphere from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the puppy get away with committing murder? ...He had paws able deniability. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the rabbit go to rehab? He was hopped up on easter eggs. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the raisin take the prune to the new year's ball? Because he couldn't find a date! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the rap battle champion get the most spacious and accessible seat on the bus? Because of his dis ability. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the redditor go to /r/zelda? To boost his link karma! (X post from /r/Jokes) from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the rope get put in timeout? Because he was very knotty. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War? Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the sand dune blush? Because the sea weed from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels? Because the cons outweighed the prose. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the skeleton not attend prom? He had no body to go with. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the snail draw an "S" on the side of his car? So that when he drove by people could say, "Look at that escargot!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the snail drink beer? To come out of its shell! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the spider land on the keyboard? She wanted a new website. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the Spy cross the road? 'Cause he wasn't really on your side. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the squirrel cross the road on the telephone wire? To be on the safe side! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the SSD burn a flag? Because it was a Patriot Blaze from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the strawberry cry? Because his mother was in a jam. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the strawberry go out with the pineapple? Because he couldn't get a date! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the superhero make a lot of shredded cheese? It was for the grater good. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the tissue get up and dance? It had a little boogy in it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the tomato turned red? Because it saw the salad dressing from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the nearest Shell Station! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the twinkie go to the dentist? He lost his filling! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the vampire use mouthwash? Because he had bat breath from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the vegetable band break up? They couldn't keep a beet. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the vegetables hop into the boiling pot of water? They were part of a stewicide pact. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the wave fail the driving test? It kept crashing on the beach. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the Wise Man get 25 to life? Myrrhder from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did the woman buy new wine glasses? Because the ones she was using made everything blurry. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did tomato blush? because it saw the salad dressing from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did Trump insist on Hillary Clinton as Secretary of state? He doesn't believe women should get above secretary from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why did Woodrow Wilson take a long time to turn around? Because he could only make 14 point turns. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why didn't Silento knock before coming inside? Because you already know who it's isss! My little sister told me this joke. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why didn't the american leek want to talk to the japanese leek? because it was negi from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why didn't the baby oyster share her little pearl? She was a little shellfish. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why didn't the bicycle cross the road? ...he was two tired... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why didn't the bicycle cross the road? because it was two tired. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why didn't the cargo ship want to leave the bay? Because it was a freight! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie? He never does it with a four in (foreign) hand. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why didn't the fisherman go to Florida to fish for long jawed fish with rows of razor like teeth? He didn't have a Gar from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no *body* to go with from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy & z hate hanging out with the letter n? Because n always has to be the center of attention. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do bears hate shoes so much? They like to run around in their bear feet. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do birds fly south for the winter? because its too far to walk! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do cicadas stay up all night chirping irregularly, unable to sleep? Their cicadan rhythm is off from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out the burning ducks. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do elephants hide behind trees? To trip ants. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees. You ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? *Then it's working*. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do fish always sing off key? Because you can't tune a fish. Say it outloud if you don't get it. I made this one up in first grade IIRC. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do fish live in salt water? Because *pepper* makes them sneeze! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do Gastroenterologists have such a passion for their job? Because they find the components of one's stomach very intestine. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do ghosts carry tissues? Because they have BOOOOgers. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It lifts their spirits. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do good farmers only excel when they are actually farming? (X post from /r/jokes) Because they are out standing in their field. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do gorillas have such big nostrils? Cos they got big fingers. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do Hutus hate Dustin Hoffman? He impersonated a Tootsie. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do Jamaican chickens make fun of all the other chickens? Because they're jerks. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don't C# from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do librarians like the wind? It says, "Shhh!" all day! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?? It's a bouqet of forget me knots. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do sharks swim in salt water? Because pepper would make them sneeze! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do space rocks taste better than earth rocks? Because they are a little meteor from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do the French like eating snails? Because they can't stand fast food! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do they call them light bulbs? they don't weigh very much from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do they make Raisin Bran commercials? For raisin bran awareness. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why do zombies always kill at comedy clubs? Because their jokes are told post humorously! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does a Bicycle have a kickstand? Because it's two tired. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does a chicken coup have 2 doors? Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken Sedan. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does a chicken coupe only have two doors? If it had four it'd be a chicken sedan! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does a milking stool have only three legs? Because the cow has the udder! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does a rapper need an umbrella? Fo' drizzle. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does Mario hate Punchbug? Because he bruises like a Peach! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does Mr. Pencil hate Mr. Pen so much? Because he is an erascist. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does not a forth grader ever take the bus home? Because he knew his parents will make him return it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does Snoop Dog carry and umbrella? Fo Drizzle from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why Does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? For drizzle, my nizzle. :D from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? For Drizzle from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does the Pope only eat munchkins? Cause they're the holy part of the donut! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why does Thor have insomnia? He's up all night to get Loki. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because he has a million of degrees. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why doesn't the sun need to go to University? He's too bright. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't bears wear boots? Cos they like to walk around in their bear feet. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't blind people like skydiving? It scares the crap out of the dog. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't blind people like to skydive? Because it scares the dog. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't blind people skydive? Because it scares their dogs too much! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter? Because they dress in lairs. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle... ...theres too many cheet ahs from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't melons ever run away and get married? Because they cantaloupe! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't robots have any brothers anymore? Because they have trans sisters. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't tennis players get married? Because to them love means nothing. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't you see penguins in Britain? Because they're afraid of Wales from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't you want a turkey at your thanksgiving dinner? Because it'll gobble up everything. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't you want to hang out with a dude from Chicago? Because 'Illinois you! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why don't you want your nose to be 12 inches long? because then it would be a foot! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why is a shooting star better than a hamburger? It's meteor. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why is Dr. Frankenstein never lonely? He's good at making friends. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? Because it's capital is always Dublin. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why is it a bad idea to get in a relationship with a statue? Because it's not going anywhere. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why is Kim Jong Un like todays music? They both ain't got the same Seoul. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs? Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why is there very little honey in Belgium? Because there is only one B in Belgium from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why is Yoda afraid of seven? Because six seven eight. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing? In case you get a hole in one. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why should you always knock before opening the refrigerator? Because there might be an Italian dressing. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why should you avoid people dressed as celery? They could be stalking you! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why should you leery of stairs? Because they are always up to something. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why should you never invest in bakeries? Because they have a high turnover rate. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why should you never invite a boxer to a party? He always throws the punch. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why there should be a February 30th So dentists can have a day to celebrate from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was 9 afraid of 20? 28 29's from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball <p> My favorite joke since I was little from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? *She ran away from the ball.* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was Farmer Bob so good at his job? Because he was outstanding in his field from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? classical conditioning. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? He conditioned it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the actor detained by airport security? He said he was in town to shoot a pilot. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the apricot late to the party? He got stuck in a jam. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the belt locked up? Because it held a pair of pants. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the burrito embarrassed? It saw the salad dressing. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the chicken kicked out of class? For using *fowl* language. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the dolphin happy and the shark depressed? The sharks life lacked porpoise. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the egg kicked out of the comedy club? Because he was telling bad yolks! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the Egyptian kid confused? Because his daddy was a mummy from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the Headless Horseman depressed? He could never seem to get ahead in life. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the healthy potato not allowed on the plane? He was on the "No Fry" list. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the hula hoop a great boxer? It could go round for round. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the lobster upset? Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the math book sad? It had a lot of problems from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the owl afraid of Raidoactivity Because it was made of Hootonium from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the panda crying? He had a bambooboo. Aonther one from my 9 year old. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the rabbit promoted to brewmaster? All his beers had a lot of hops from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the rooster happy after his trip to Vegas? He got clucky. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the scarecrow promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the tank top more gangster than the tube top? The tube top was strapless. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why were the Libyans eating money? They were having dinar. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why were the treefrog's stories always so attention grabbing? Because he was absolutely ribbeting! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN? To find out the latest on gum control legislation. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why would no one listen to the percussion section? Because they couldn't drum up enough support. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why'd the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Why'd the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Will Smith joke How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prince... from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Will Smith's website isn't responding. What do you do? Refresh Prince of Bel Air. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Will you tell you the story of the huge sad wall? I shouldn't, you'll never get over it. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Wise man once say... He who runs in front of car will get tired, He who runs behind car will get exhausted. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
With a name like Freddy Mercury... shouldn't he have done heavy metal? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
Words can't possibly describe how beautiful you are... But numbers can 4/10 from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
X post from r/jokes: Mommy! I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cus it was fake. "Oh, how did you know it was fake?" "It had two zeroes instead of one." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you can't pick your friend's nose from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
You can tune a guitar... but you can't tuna fish! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
You know what I hate about fashion designers? They are so clothes minded. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
You know what they say about men that have big feet? #They wear big shoes! *Come on guys, this is /r/cleanjokes! Get your minds out of the gutter!* from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
You know what's the problem with Mexican and black jokes? If you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamaal. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
You know why ancient Greek children were always getting lost from their parents? 'Cause they kept Roman around! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
You know youre getting old when Santa starts looking younger. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
You'd think that people who kept their head warm would tend to be healthier... but as it turns out, people who wear turbans are actually more likely to be Sikh from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
You've got to really be careful when ingesting shoes... cause they're usually laced from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
2 fish in a tank, one says to the other Do you know how to drive this thing? from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
6:30 is the best time on a clock... ...hands down. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
16 sodium atoms walk into a bar followed by Batman. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
...walks into a bar... A golfer, a priest and a lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and asks, "What is this? Some kind of joke?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
"So Sherlock..." asked Watson, "I forget, what was your highest degree of education?" "Elementary, my dear Watson." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
"Stay strong!" I said to my wi fi signal. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
"We don't serve time travelers here" A time traveler walks into a bar. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
"What kind of house does cheese like to live in?" "A cottage" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
(True story) So my friend saw me browsing this subreddit and he said... "Is this a subreddit for really bad jokes?" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
[ This one from the great /u/KingOfRibbles ] "My sink was a bit dirty " " but all it needed was a little ...wiping!!!" from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
[My Joke] Where do noodles get their nails done? At the spa getti. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
[My Joke] Why do galaxies put on boring shows while separated? Because their performance is lack cluster. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
[OC c/o my 9 y.o.] What holds up a bowl's pants? Suspoonders! from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
[OC] How does Gandhi measure passive resistance? In oooooohms. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
[OC] Why couldn't the dragon breathe fire? He had a cold from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
[PICKLE] Our first chance to help our new ally! http://www.reddit.com/r/pickle/comments/1a2xg8/next attack for our entire army march 12th at 520/ from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
*THUD* "What was that?" "My pants fell down." "...Why so loud?" "I'm wearing them." from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
/r/askreddit thread "What's the best clean joke you know" with thousands of replies http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/zrotp/whats the best clean joke you know/ from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
/r/cleanjokes hits 10K subscribers **/r/cleanjokes metrics:** Total Subscribers: 10,000 Subreddit Rank: 2,246 Milestones & Subreddit Growth: http://redditmetrics.com/r/cleanjokes from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
/r/pickle welcomes it's newest ally. It's always good to have clean jokes. I due urge the mods to add us to your sidebar, due to the fact that you are on ours. from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
~tips fedora at mosquito~ Mlaria from Quandale Dingle Tells Clean Jokes
