Hasan Minhaj - Waze GPS Edit

Accident reported ahead. That's not fun. Let's hope everyone's OK.

All right, drivetime. Maybe find a talk radio station so when you get to your destination you can be furious for absolutely no reason.

And 400 meters.

And a quarter of a mile.

And one kilometer.

And then?

At the roundabout.

Congrats, you get to drive with me, Hassan Minhaj. Not sure if you really want me directing you since I get lost constantly, but here we go.

Continue straight.

Exit left. I think we need a change of scenery.

Exit right and check your mirror for cyclists. We are a friend to the bike people.

Hazard reported ahead. Be careful. I'd be lonely without you.

Heavy traffic reported ahead. How rude. All these strangers on our Rd. Unbelievable.

I'm feeling pumped for this journey. I got two kids. Anything that gets me out of the house technically is a vacation.

In .1 miles.

In 1.5 kilometers.

In 200 meters.

In 800 meters.

In half a mile.

In one mile.

Keep left.

Keep right.

Make AU turn. This never happened.

Never forget, you are the driver and you are the Lord of the air conditioning. Nobody else shall touch it. Only one person in this car is doing anything important and that is you.

Police reported ahead drive like a law abiding taxpayer.

Ready to roll? Are you using the HOV lane today? HOV passenger? That'd be a fun side hustle. Kind of like those guys you pay to wait in line for a sneaker drop.

Red light camera reported ahead. Remember to smile with your eyes.

Speed trap reported ahead, Maybe slow down.

Take the 4th exit. Hey, So what kind of mileage does this thing get? Men tend to ask this question instinctively.

Take the 5th exit. It's not every day you take a fifth exit. I'd make a note of that in my diary.

Take the 6th exit. 6 is a lucky number and I base this on absolutely nothing.

Take the 7th exit. Wow, this is a lot of exits.

Take the first exit. It's really the gold standard of exits.

Take the second exit. Car language can be really aggressive. We take exits, we don't just use them. Take the second exit.

Take the third exit someone invented. Rest stops. Isn't that crazy like before that people just held it?

Time to drive for your music. I suggest hip hop songs with the bang and beep, a catchy hook, and lyrics that make no sense whatsoever.

Time to drive. Check all your mirrors except that one inside the sun visor. That makes everyone look like a puffy werewolf.

Turn left.

Turn right.

We made it, and if no one's looking, I think you should high 5 the screen.

Welcome to The drive, my friend. And Full disclosure, if we listen to Mumble Rap on this ride, I'm going to mumble your directions.

Welcome to the ride my friend. Check the gas gauge before we start and if you don't have a gas gauge, go ahead and feel smug for a second, you EV gangster.