Boris Johnson Soundboard Edit

And I want you to know how sad I am to be giving up the best job in the world. But them's the breaks.

And I want you to know how sad I am to be giving up the best job in the world. But them's the breaks.

And just before you go, how much is the price of? Of. Of. Of value bread? Value bread. Yes, It depends, you know. 50P49P Have you been getting up on your value brand? Yeah, I thought Dave can talk ...

And my friends, we export French knickers to France. Made in this country.

And they sort of, you know, you know, like hello or some.

Any scientific advance is punished by the gods.

Be very clear. I was saving that up. I mean, I could have done it anytime, you know?

But never forget all you who back all you banker bashers. Never forget that the leper colony in the City of London produces 9% of UK GDP, 13% of value added and taxes that pay for roads and schools...

Don't imperil London's position as the greatest financial capital on earth.

Feed them. You need someone who will put this all on the map and that is the objective. And you've got some fantastic candidates. You've got some charming people here in Bristol and she can see wha...

Folks, it's time for change. And the Conservatives will give you your money's worth, and they'll give you change as well. Thank you.

Get off your phone.

Have you had COVID? No. Have you? Good. Keep it that way.

Have you had COVID? No. Have you? Good. Keep it that way.

Hi folks, Boris Johnson here. This is a wonderful moment for our party. We've just chosen a new candidate for our Conservative Mayor of London, Zach Goldsmith. I hope everybody will want to get out...

I did think about what she said, you know, about what a tosser organised.

I mean the one piece of advice I would give to Bill is there are some pretty clever financial products which enable you to in effect pass on your home or the value of your home to your son or daugh...

I'm in favour of the rich.

I'm not saying that your brother. I'm not saying your brother had to present himself at A&E at A with a with a woman, but he would do best television of the week. So far. It's only just started. Do...

In the last five years we've seen extraordinary growth in the tech sector. The tech sector in which we now lead the planet and we've got thin tech, biotech, Med tech, Ed tech, green tech, nanotech,...

In the very next day. Hey, fab, I'm gonna kill you. Lyrics coming at you with supersonic speed, right? Honourable gentleman up. Let me put up taxes on inheritance and pensions and corporations.

It's absolutely wonderful to be here in Manchester, one of the few great British cities I have yet to insult.

It's the most important thing of all, winning the trust of people that have put their trust in us, many of them for the first time, and Boris will have my full support as he does that. I don't know...

It's the most important thing of all, winning the trust of people that have put their trust in us, many of them for the first time, and Boris will have my full support as he does that. I don't know...

Kipper. He has had his costs massively increased by Brussels bureaucrats, who have insisted that each kipper must be accompanied by a. Yes. A plastic ice pillar.

Kipper. He has had his costs massively increased by Brussels bureaucrats, who have insisted that each kipper must be accompanied by a. Yes. A plastic ice pillar.

Lefty.

Let me say that I am now like one of those booster rockets. That is fulfilled its function and I will now be gently re entering the atmosphere and splashing down invisibly in some remote and obscur...

Let me say that I am now like one of those booster rockets. That is fulfilled its function and I will now be gently re entering the atmosphere and splashing down invisibly in some remote and obscur...

My advice to you is vote Tory and get broadband, but UKIP and get Millie back.

Not a good start, Morris.

Now is this the Ed Miliband who was in the Treasury with Gordon Brown for about is this are you the same creature? Are you the scrappers? Come on now. I mean is there some sort of come on, come on,...

One of the best parliaments this country has ever produced.

One of the best parliaments this country has ever produced.

Ping pong was invented on the dining tables of England ladies and gentlemen in the 19th century. It was, and it was called with wax.

So you have to look ahead and you have to be aware of the false economy. If you have an old kettle that takes ages to boil, it may cost you £20 to replace it. But if you get a new one, you'll save ...

So you have to look ahead and you have to be aware of the false economy. If you have an old kettle that takes ages to boil, it may cost you £20 to replace it. But if you get a new one, you'll save ...

Something like, you know you sold off you Tory Tosser.

Supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies.

Supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies.

That we have still not yet exhausted the old mayor stocks of Chateauneuf du Pap. True.

The doubters, the doomsters, the Gloom masters, they are going to get it wrong again.

The Dutch ride bicycles made in London. The Brazilians use mosquito repellent that is made in London. Every single chocolate hobnob in the world is made in London. It's actually true.

The lip smacking savagery of the new Lib Dems with Vince Cable morphing into a mad axe man. A transformation as incongruous as the killer rabbit in Monty Python.

The problem with Ed Miliband? Is not his method of addressing a savage. And the the problem is not that he sounds like a a Polytechnic sociology lecture and all the rest of the, you know, the commo...

They have no questions to to you saying they're abdicating their duty to scrutinise me. Are you saying they don't have, they haven't the guts to put questions to me? Supine, protoplasmic, invertebr...

Water skiing, kids playing in there must be out of their minds, like everything is here. Everything is here. Slides, jumps. It's over.

We must now respect that decision.

We must now respect that decision.

We're a shining example of a country where multiple identities work. A country where you can be Welsh and Hindu and British, Northern Irish and ******* and British, where you can wear a kilt and a t...

Wendy and West Wickham are the junior doctors right to strike? Well, I think that the junior doctors, as I understand it, have decided to call off their strike. And then have you heard that? I thin...

When they watch. When they watch Gangnam Style. On their televisions in Korea. As they do and by Gangnam size Very the Prime Minister and I danced Gangnam Style the other day. You you, you'll be sh...

Yes, actually, Tony Blair once went past me in his limo. Hmm. And. Screamed at me.

Yes, it's absolutely shocking to see that somebody can be effectively nursed in the bosom of the British state, going to schools in London, going to universities in our city, and yet come up with t...

You Should Say No

You've lied to the people of London in your own get stuck.

Your policy, by the admission of your own shadow Chancellor Ed Balls, actually yields less than I thought. And you gave him a very easy ride. You got him for keeping, you've got status, I've got I ...