Fathers Soundboard Edit

All fathers care for their sons

And most importantly I told him where his father was in a magical land called new york city

Can't wait to see my dad we're gonna go ice skating and eat sugarplums

Dad dad dad you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination thank you thank you

Dad'll do anything to get you to go to sleep

Didn't know you had a famous father did you surprise!

Do it dad get your balls back go fast again

Don't bother your daddy now just go work it out amongst yourselves

Don't get me wrong he seems like a nice guy but my father's nice and he's not funny either

Don't worry dad I read your dumb instructions stop yelling at me

Don't worry you've got daddy here he's got credit cards and cash

Donny shut up will ya daddy's making love to new mommy

Excuses excuses you're just like your father i've listened to his miserable excuses for 10 years the loser!

Father Day Gift

Father what's wrong with you

He was my father my entire life we were friends I loved him and now he's dead except for his hair and nails dead

Hey! what did daddy just get you for your birthday huh a rake that's right an excellent rake a birthday rake so when you clean the yard you don't have to pick up the leaves with your hands

I bet you make your daddy so proud don't you beautiful

I don't care how mad I was i'd talk to my dad especially around the holidays

I don't understand if you're my father that would make me a a god

I have been imprisoned by my father who wishes me to marry against my will please please come and rescue me

I know it's hard to understand but this is dad's stuff okay all of this that you see before you is all your father's and everything is thought out very

I learned how to mix drugs when I was little heroin cocaine all of it my dad taught me that was about the only thing he taught me before he was killed

I sent you to this planet to teach you about justice honor and nobility I am your father

I smelled your shit for 22 years now you can't smell mine for five minutes

I treat my subjects servants children wife with a firm but gentle hand noblesse oblige

I understand your father's dead and already he's a graffiti gag on subway walls

I want more life father

I won't talk to you ever again you're a rotten mean father! you never give me anything I want! and I won't go to school till I have it

I'm tired of sweating for people who aren't there I sweat to pay off my father's debts and he's in his grave

I've come to collect your father

If I become human i'll never be with my father or sisters again

Is daddy in trouble yes shall I pray for him yes pray very hard me too you too tommy

It is tough for the kid that her old man is so stupid

It was my father john and when he talked people listened and they'll listen to you too

It's hard growing up with a cynical father

Jeez he's starting to sound like the old man pretty soon he'll be sending me out for beers

Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son

Just so you know you're never gonna be my dad hmm I think I can live with that

Lori why don't you like me i'm rich i'm good looking my dad owns the company

Mama what's vacation mean vacation where daddy went

Much anger in him like his father

My dad gives money to people that doesn't have money and then people use that money then they give other money back and they give the same amount of money back to my dad

My dad is a gynecologist and he looks at vaginas all day long

My dad tells me the truth

My father is not crazy he's a genius

My father's too distracted by his bald spot to do anything

My papa yeah he didn't make master tinker till he was 490

No I am your father

No ma'am I haven't seen my daddy in years but my mama say he's out racing cars and well dipping his wick in anything that moves

Now children don't judge your father too harshly after all he really loves you very much

Now don't you worry son your father had a plan in mind all the time

Oh father every one of those sweeps shook your hand you're going to be the luckiest person in the world!

Oh jeez take a look at this dad really got into the beers eh

Our father died only a few days ago that's why I was away he asked for you to be there but there was only me

Our forefathers brought four fathers did lincoln have four fathers

Our mom says that our dad is a real sex machine

Poor nana oh yes poor nana but poor father oh no!

See if you can tell which of these pigs is your mother and father

She's lonely since daddy died sometimes she says she don't know why

So dad I planned out our whole day we'll make snow angels and then we'll go ice skating then eat a roll of toll house cookie dough as fast as we can and then to finish we'll snuggle

So you're like my space dad yeah i'm like your space dad

Sometimes I fall asleep but my father never does that's good because one time when I was sleeping the shogun sent his soldiers for me

Take me home daddy

Teacher! i'm your son but you're a monk!

Thank heaven my father will be the judge

That was the first time I ever saw my father spare the life of an enemy

That was the first time i'd ever seen my father kill anybody but it wasn't the last I got used to it though

That was when my father left his samurai life and became a demon

That's the saddest thing i've ever seen in my life that boy leaves two tickets for his daddy at every race and he never shows up

The firemen came and broke through the chimney top and me and mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird and instead they pulled out my father

The girl has lost her father and her freedom all in one day

The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy

There'll be another boat for the daddies this boat is for the mummies and the children

Time does fly fast my son it seems only yesterday I ordered your first diaper changed and now you're a man who's about to be married

We're going to play a game called who is my daddy and what does he do

Well it'll just happen like the way I met your father that was so stupid grandpa hit him with the car

When we're on the mission I keep count of how many ninjas my father kills

Yeah their fathers are douchebags just like their fathers before them

You are here because the outside world rejects you this is your family I am your father

You could do with a makeover I tried to give you my good looks but let's face it something went wrong

You know I had a crazy dream last night it was about you I dreamt I was your father

You now have two choices swear eternal loyalty to your master or commit harakiri with your son

You sound just as corny as dad does

You're the son of a thousand fathers all bastards like you

Your dad he's a fun guy right so maybe you could put in a word with him and he'd kinda blow this whole thing off you know

Your father left us nothing but a legacy of bad debts hidden by a good name that name is the only card we have to play

'cause nobody messes with your dad