Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby Soundboard Edit

A car it handled real good

A lot of big stories and some big questions here at talladega

A single plop one single plop

Abracadabra homes

Absolutely ma'am i'd love to sign your baby you're not gonna wanna wash that forehead you hear me

Absolutely we're gonna do that

Adorable

After the race

Ah ricky bobby

All right

All right (2)

All right (3)

All right all right hold on

All right baby come on now

All right fellas let's go

All right fellas you heard the man get the car off let's go you guys heard it

All right girard I found you now let's see where this goes

All right go get them

All right i'll hold your hair

All right i'll see you out there

All right i'll talk to you tomorrow

All right lucius time to let the cougar loose

All right man talk to you tomorrow

All right now you boys listen up and you listen good

All right professor dickweed what's the plan

All right way to go go way to go

All right well I tell you what we gotta do since we got no corporate money we have to build this damn engine ourselves

All right you did it back off

All right you got me that's an awesome nickname

All right you let go of me you formula one jazz nutjob!

All those races I won that was for you you know that I did just like you told me if you ain't first you're last

All three people all great champions all loved

Also due to a binding endorsement contract that stipulates I mention powerade at each grace

Also I got my balls back behind the wheel of a car

Also wanna thank you for my best friend and team mate cal naughton jr who's got my back no matter what

Always remember if you ain't first you're last

Am I on fire i'm on fire

Am I right

Amazing six different kinds swiss havarti what was the other one gouda cheddar gouda

Amen

Anarchy #anarchy #talladega nights #ricky bobby

Anarchy! anarchy! anarchy! anarchy!

Anarchy! I don't even know what that means but I love it!

And across from monsieur def is breeze

And at the end of the day you know you gotta be happy

And at the opposite end of the grid darrell ricky bobby

And at the urging of ricky bobby who's been like a son to me only better

And check out his crew chief over there won the nobel prize for physics back in '93

And death was coming for him and he stood there and with a tear coming out his eyes he said tell ricky win for me

And down and down and

And here you sit thinking

And I know you won the race but you're not gonna live forever

And I would be delighted reese if you would accompany me to ballroom dancing on tuesday nights

And I would be honored if you'd sign my balls

And i'm also gonna need to know where your commode's at

And i'm cal naughton jr

And i'm cal naughton jr (2)

And i'm in the front row and i'm hammered drunk

And if I remember correctly your daddy used to love it

And it ain't nothing more goddamn frightening than driving with a live cougar in the car

And it's shake and bake time

And knew that no matter what happened my boys my mama and my lady would love me

And most importantly we thank you for bringing back our nasty delinquent pot dealing daddy to us for he was lost but now he is found amen

And mr dennit told me that it's my time now

And next to him is hip hop artist poet and my brother in law mos def

And nobody can hang with my stuff

And now the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker

And of course my red hot smoking wife carley who is a stone cold fox

And order the same stuff

And ricky bobby wins with cal naughton jr finishing second

And so then I got a marketing job with nascar

And soixante neuf you know the 69 with the head near the that bit we came up with it

And that night in the ladies' room of the rustler steak house he chose me

And that's what you need to do you don't need to think you need to drive

And the 26 car just ran naughton into the wall

And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver is you don't listen to losers like your know it all teacher overe here

And then the next thing I gotta do is I just gotta have a sit down with carley and just let her know that it's okay for her to seek the comfort of other men

And then when that fear rises up in your belly you use it and you know that fear is powerful because it has been there for billions of years! and it is good and you use it and you ride it

And there goes ricky bobby on the outside!

And we just came up with a new nickname

And we look forward to powerade's release of mystic mountain blueberry

And y'all that's pretty much in a shell what it's like to manage a waffle house

And you always have to prove yourself why

And you don't win for anybody else you win for you you know why because a man takes what he wants he takes it all and you're a man aren't you aren't you

And you know what else you never let me win one time

And you need to grab hold of the line between speed and chaos and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra

And you're hanging out at your mom's that's awesome

And your sponsors weren't doing very much so well we repainted the car

Answer me this when you're in spa mode how come the water level drops in the spa

Apparently we've got a situation for the laughing clown number 26 car

Applebee's has rats! I found a whole rat in my cobb salad!

Are they the really thin pancakes

Are you faking it fake it!

Are you feeling anything now i'm feeling a little bit

Are you in the hot tub

Are you kidding me

Are you serious

Are you there god it's me margaret

As a sign of humility if you kiss me on the lips now I will return to paris and you will never see me again in nascar

As it stands now jean girard is sitting on the pole which is of course a statement of fact and in no way a comment on the driver's sexual orientation

As the laps wind down jamie mcmurray is the leader

As william blake wrote the cut worm forgives the plow

As you know bill he's been doing that all year

As you wish

Attaboy all right son drive

Baby

Baby he's not gonna come to the wedding

Baby photo op photo op come on come on number one

Baby shoot i'm so sorry I really I didn't want it to be this way

Baby stop

Baby that is real good talk like we practiced last night

Baby this is ted beamen from halliburton over here is dick tangfield from dynacorp and back there is

Baby! that's my baby!

Be back to check on you in a minute thank you

Be thoughtful glenn

Bean buffet in front of it it was awesome

Because i'm your daddy that's why

Because i've really moved on

Because the drivers that finished first and second got out of their cars they have officially been disqualified

Because you know she's gotta run wild you can't keep something like that back

Beer money huh there you go yes

Before each race jean girard spends time with his world class horses who are also gay

Besides dennit jr must be freaking out all the money he's losing without me on the track

Bingo

Bobby and girard are dueling each other for the lead

Bobby moves to the outside not a lot of room he's in the wall! bobby is sliding slamming into the wall

Bobby working really hard to pass the wonder bread car

Bobby's boxed in there's nowhere to go there

Bodies that look so good you're gonna wanna talk to it

Bon so what if you just said I love really thin pancakes that is a fair compromise no

Bootleggers in prohibition had to have cars fast enough to outrun the feds then they started racing each other

Boy that halliburton halliburton's taken off haven't they

Boy you are a terrible driver no

Boys how was school today

Break it pepe le pew

But before I can do that

But before I can do that I must be beaten by a driver who's truly better than me

But he did give you a pretty decent out but it's your call

But how did he get down to his underwear that fast

But I just wanted you to know that if you could hear me if it got into your brain somehow that I spread my butt cheeks as mike honcho

But i'm not even sure he even knows where he's at right now

But maybe just maybe you might challenge me

But something looks wrong I mean he's running around like he's on fire

But this is my life this is my life

But today he gets to strap back into a racecar for the first time since to try to show he can still get the job done

But we all need to go along with this because he's in a delicate state

But what about you how have you been what have you been doing

But you have forced me to do this

But you're a grown man you're delivering pizzas on a bike

By the way don't try and snort these lucky charms reese

By the way ricky I watched the highlander movie it was shit

Bye kids i'll see you next weekend

C'est fini au revoir ricky au revoir

C'est la vie and que sera sera

Cal do you realize the implications of your actions right now

Cal how could you do this to me man

Cal I don't like the way you're talking out there

Cal I love you

Cal naughton

Cal naughton from dennit racing just helped a rival driver pass a teammate

Cal naughton in second

Cal naughton!

Cal you could say that 10000 times and it still wouldn't be enough

Cal you're number one!

Calm piece of cake

Can I just have a little refresher of course baby

Can we get these guys something

Can you believe that he would do that for his teammate set him up that way

Can you feel it I can!

Can you not see why i'm stuck on the anger bridge

Can you speak up ricky

Can't believe it now i've seen everything

Carley come back here

Carley!

Check it it was a nacho fountain with six kinds of cheese on it

Cheers

Chimichanga mexican

Chinese food that's from china

Chip i'm all jacked up on mountain dew

Chip i'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey

Chip you brought this on man

Christmas is right around the corner and what better gift to give a loved one than the jackhawk 9000 available at wal mart

Come back at him it's the only way

Come face your destroyer listen to how I sound I sound like a massive prick

Come face your destroyer!

Come here come here

Come here you make me hot come here

Come on baby

Come on baby! yeah that's it

Come on come on

Come on dad he's just a stupid cowboy look how bad he is in that interview

Come on dad!

Come on daddy! come on daddy! whoop his butt!

Come on frat boy you wanna go

Come on john pay attention

Come on man slingshot it slingshot come on

Come on man that was last week

Come on man!

Come on man! it's embarrassing

Come on son what's it gonna be speed or jail

Come on son you can do it come on

Come on we were doing good there man i'm taking care of your house good

Come on what kind of dude wears a thong

Come on you know what screw you man

Come on!

Coming up next it's ice dancing to the hits of motown

Cool!

Cops are coming

Could you do that for me

Cross over the anger bridge

Cut around the meat

Dad where are you going

Dad you made that grace your bitch

Dad!

Dad! (2)

Dad! come back dad!

Dad! why are you doing this

Damn

Damn I wish ricky was here

Damn it come on man

Damn it okay

Damn it!

Damn the torpedoes!

Damn you wavecrest!

Darrell you tell brian wavecrest to take out cal naughton right now

Dear 8 pound 6 ounce newborn infant jesus don't even know a word yet just a little infant and so cuddly but still omnipotent

Dear lord baby jesus lying there in your little ghost manger just looking at your baby einstein developmental videos learning about shapes and colors and

Dear lord baby jesus or as our brothers to the south call you jesus we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of domino's kfc and the always delicious taco bell

Dear lord baby jesus we also thank you for my wife's father chip

Dear tiny infant jesus we

Dear tiny jesus in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny little fat balled up fists

Delightful to meet you mr robert I thought you were dead

Dennit hired a gay frenchman as your teammate

Dennit just fired me from the team

Dennit racing incorporated has decided to field an additional car

Dennit racing needs a racer like him

Dick berggren in las vegas victory lane for fox television

Did he just say husband

Did you eat peanut butter or something you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth

Did you hear what he just said

Did you just say party you know what no because I still hate you okay

Did you run any of this by nascar

Did you say fire

Didn't ricky bobby used to drive for you

Do it dad get your balls back go fast again

Do you do you know how crazy that sounds

Do you know why I came to america ricky bobby

Do you wanna know why I think that you should race again

Doc give it to me straight is he ever gonna be able to walk again

Does it matter

Doesn't that feel good

Doesn't the bear symbolize the old south and the new dog the encroaching industrialization of the north

Dolly it's so good oh it's really really good

Don't do it

Don't know what I was thinking

Don't listen to these people ricky you're a winner you got the gift

Don't pay them no mind ricky

Don't say it yeah i'm not gonna say it

Don't stop

Don't touch a one of them they're mine

Don't you get it you don't drive with your eyes you drive with your heart

Don't you put that evil on me ricky bobby!

Don't you put that on us!

Don't you say it ricky these colors don't run

Don't you stick that knife in your leg

Don't you worry about my gun ricky

Down karen! get down! get down karen! it's all right it's gonna be okay

Duh but the question is should the reader feel relief or sadness at the passing of the old south

Either close the door or come in I got weed in here cowboy

Either way this goes down could we get some after we're done

Enjoy the win! come on man!

Even diane sawyer needed katie couric

Even with a healthy arm you don't have a chance against jean girard

Everybody pile in

Everybody this is my husband gregory

Everyone just keep eating

Everyone turn away things are gonna get crazy we're gonna make animal noises

Everyone's real friendly

Everything cool that susan said you wrecked it

Everything ended up fine

Exactly

Excuse me coming through

Excuse me darling i'm reese bobby

Excuse me guys nice job

Face it we suck

Fans and nascar everyone is talking about this new driver jean girard

Fantastic

Feels good going fast doesn't it

Fine i'll do it but I ain't calling you daddy

First a very brief explanation

First or last baby you know it!

First or last right baby

Folks i'm here with one of the great nba superstars a real legend larry bird

Forty two

Frenchy can drive

From now on it's magic man and el diablo

From provence france driver of the number 55 perrier car jean girard

From west river north carolina driver of the number 47 old spice car cal naughton jr

Game over come on reset

Get down you little pancake

Get her a coffin

Get her a gigolo what a guy to have sex with her

Get her done!

Get him cal

Get in here boys come on come on get in this house

Get out

Get out of the road!

Get this engine built get it built

Get this highway clean come on

Get up here man no you come up here you come up here

Get yourselves down there

Give me that thing I can't believe it I can't believe it!

Glenn is dead ricky

Glenn shut up

Glenn what did I say

Go ahead cal

Go ahead find a seat

Go baby! there you are

Go go go!

Go go go! come on come on go!

Go on and get some boys come on!

Go ricky! go!

Go shave your balls you dusty old fart!

Go! go!

God a whole mess of nachos sounds good right now

God he's just following me wherever I go

God needs the devil

God where'd you get that thing

Golly this is a hard decision but I have thought about it and I want the plug pulled yeah

Good

Good call here that's worth a nickel

Good for you ricky bobby

Good luck to you son

Good luck weirdoes

Good night guys i'm losing a lot of blood good night

Good one kiddo

Goodbye ricky goodbye

Got more plugs in him than a circuit city

Gotcha

Grab onto something ready one two three!

Grandfather can't we resolve this conflict without anger

Grandpa would you like to take us fishing and tell us life lessons and stories about your childhood

Great analysis walker

Great hey how's your mama's hip

Gretchen my friend got her period

Guess how fast we're going now

Guy's dangerous ricky he's like a cobra back off!

Guys let's go win ourselves a race all right

Hakuna matata bitches

Hang on baby jesus this is gonna get bumpy

He actually did it!

He did it!

He found that wheelchair in the hallway his paralysis is entirely psychosomatic

He is dominating nascar

He just lost his muscle control is all that's all

He said to take ricky bobby out of the race or you're fired buddy

He sold the windshield!

He was a man he had a beard

He was so scared because you know how little he is

He's a world class trainer of german shepherds

He's airborne!

He's always crying!

He's amazing

He's doing quite well

He's fine he just can't control the muscles

He's gonna be great yep he's gonna be great

He's gonna usher in a new era for us

He's got guts

He's here to win us an overall points championship something you apparently have no interest in doing

He's in his underwear again go get him fellas

He's jumping on ricky trying to put the nonexistent fire out

He's made that car three lanes wide but he's still fast

He's scary

He's suffering from catatonic shock

He's telling you the truth man it's all in your head

He's too good ricky lay off!

Heck of a win for you today but it seems as if you either win or crash the car trying to win

Heck you know what let's go out tonight you know the whole family

Hell you know what get my car off the trailer guys

Hell you're just a bag of bones

Hello

Hello ricky bobby

Help me allah!

Help me jesus! help me ******* god!

Help me oprah winfrey!

Help me tom cruise!

Here I come slingshot engaged

Here we go

Here we go boys

Here's some things we can focus on one we tried hard and two we're still dear friends

Here's the deal he's not gonna break it because i'm gonna slip out of it right now houdini

Heuck I just read in the newspaper they put a pig heart in some guy from russia

Hey

Hey baby

Hey baby don't listen to him and remember one thing he's the competition

Hey baby hey

Hey baby you guys are so smooth

Hey boys I wanna see some napkins in the lap

Hey buddy

Hey cal i'm sorry about wrecking you today I mean but that was for the team

Hey cal listen I hate to add to your tremendous moral confusion but I just heard from dennit

Hey cal why don't you just shut up

Hey cal you should pay attention I think he's passing you

Hey cal! baby i'm coming thanks baby

Hey carley

Hey carley (2)

Hey come on it's 2 30 in the morning

Hey come on look here's the deal I came here to tell you one thing all right tomorrow i'm coming for you

Hey come on man i'm on a bike relax

Hey dad! where are you going

Hey daddy

Hey dale

Hey derek it's ricky

Hey don't bump me

Hey don't press all those buttons

Hey driver! drive these

Hey excuse me ricky

Hey fellas! these are really good you should try one

Hey get him a suit hurry up make it snappy let's go

Hey good luck today

Hey guys why so down

Hey hey there lucy how you doing

Hey I lost my license that's why i'm on the bus i'm delivering pizzas

Hey i'm ricky bobby

Hey i'm ricky bobby (2)

Hey i'm ricky bobby (3)

Hey i'm sorry guys I mean I hope your boys don't lose their legs

Hey is that a huffy that's a nice looking bike boy

Hey it's me america

Hey jamie losing's never fun but here's something to pick your spirits up

Hey jarvis!

Hey just wanted to share a little piece of personal information with you

Hey listen to me if you're calm that wondrous big cat will be calm too

Hey look frenchy I thought about it

Hey mama

Hey man can I get your autograph

Hey man how's it going you wanna come over and party

Hey man you know what I was thinking you're lucky

Hey man you up

Hey man you walk! you can walk! I can walk! you can walk!

Hey man! remember that time when we got kicked out of biology for playing with matchbox cars

Hey man! shake and bake!

Hey mr dennit

Hey one more thing

Hey ricky

Hey ricky (2)

Hey ricky (3)

Hey ricky (4)

Hey ricky are you on fire

Hey ricky i'll call you tomorrow

Hey ricky it's me cal

Hey ricky just remember one thing if you wreck that car that's 200 grand out of your pocket so let's take it nice and slow okay

Hey ricky let me ask you a question

Hey ricky listen cal blew out his engine

Hey ricky nice of you to stop by for a visit

Hey ricky ricky! come on man wake up are you faking it

Hey ricky you know you're driving like a pissed off teenager okay buddy

Hey ricky! how you doing

Hey screw you man! I got nothing because of you! I hate you!

Hey shake and bake cal

Hey shut up man

Hey shut up!

Hey son

Hey sorry man

Hey stephen

Hey stop doing that

Hey stop yelling at me okay i'm your dad you're 7 years old don't talk like that

Hey there boy! man you got big how long's it been three four months

Hey this is just between you and me okay I mean forget all these other guys

Hey turn that crap off what's going on

Hey turn that off! turn that off right now!

Hey we just want to say to all you other drivers out there if you smell a delicious crispy smell after the race it's not your tailpipe it's a little bit of shake and then bake

Hey what are you doing after this

Hey what happened to the family portrait

Hey what the hell man hey glenn glenn!

Hey you got those two tickets for my special friend

Hey you know sweetie jesus did grow up you don't always have to call him baby it's odd and off putting to pray to a baby

Hey you're breeze or you're breeze which one of you is breeze

Hey!

Hey! I love you!

Hey! I was wondering where you guys got off to

Hi everybody bill weber along with wally dallenbach and benny parsons

Hi i'm his lady i'm susan I painted the car I we had sex

His injuries are minor but right now he can't deal with the trauma of the wreck

His job is like as a prison guard

His name is ricky ricky bobby

Hold it right there mr fancy pants foreigner

Hold my hand baby

Hold on hold on hold on now hold on

Hold on man hold

Hold on now baby let's just see what this thing's got under the hood first

Hold on ricky ricky ricky rick

Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable it is a sign of friendship in many countries well not in ours

Hot dog I mean that's like looking up bridgette wilson sampras' skirt

How did stock car racing get its start

How does one get thrown out of applebee's you're about to find out

How many dudes does she have coming over to have sex with her

How much you selling that weed for old man

How the hell did he even find me

How would it work would cal move out yep gone

How'd you even get hooked up with him in the first place

How'd you get on a video game so fast

How's everybody doing here

Hugalo's pizza we are pizza

Hump me!

Hundred and five miles an hour you believe that

Hungry for both steak and shrimp

Hustle up hustle up

I ain't backing off i'm ricky bobby i'm the best there is

I also think I might design a car that's in the shape of a rabbit it might poop out little real rabbits out the back that'll run around the track

I am being so incredibly rude monsieur bobby

I am not gonna let you die here like some kind of vegetable

I am on fire I am on fire

I am so excited

I am so paralyzed!

I am so sorry I thought you asked for onions

I am the greatest one in the whole world

I appreciate it

I appreciate it guys just trying to help out even though it was weird and perverse

I believe you have some tickets waiting for me my name's reese bobby

I bought myself a hundred thousand dollar handicap accessible van with the captain's chairs and the dvd plasma screens in the back for the kids

I called him

I came here for you to beat me

I can't believe it if it isn't mike honcho himself

I can't believe it!

I can't believe this this is like that whitesnake video where the girl crawls on yeah just like that

I can't get around him man

I can't hold my tongue these kids are my grandchildren and you are raising them wrong they are terrible boys

I can't sleep in here man i'm scared

I can't understand a word you've said the whole time

I could get used to this winning thing!

I did a full spread for Playgirl magazine #mike honcho #talledega nights #ricky bobby #spread #playgirl magazine #send nudes #nude #naked #modeling

I did a full spread for playgirl magazine I mean spread man I pulled my butt apart and stuff and I was totally nude and it was weird

I didn't have a whole lot of money left but what I did I put into the car

I didn't say it! no you did not

I do not want to break your arm monsieur bobby but I am a man of my word

I don't care i'm having a baby!

I don't have a car no more can you come get me

I don't know

I don't know but it feels like we're wasting a lot of time

I don't know how many more times are you gonna toss me the radio in the bathtub

I don't know how much longer I can take seeing you like this

I don't know what organ or bone people have that makes them act right but I was born without it i'm no good

I don't know why i'm talking to you do you remember that I hate you

I don't need to hear about doing a toilet

I don't wanna be raining on your parade but I gotta tell you that was some of the dumbest driving I have ever seen in my life

I don't want to know

I feel like I was riding inside an asteroid or a comet or something

I feel like i'm in highlander

I felt like I was on a spaceship and

I filled up three

I get emotional because you guys are working so hard

I give you one option monsieur bobby

I got a better idea why don't you boys go dig a hole and i'll get another beer

I got a chubby right now because this is one of the most awesome experiences of my life because i'm getting to drive a racecar! I can't believe it! oh my god!

I got a message for all of them ready shake and bake!

I got a new nickname the magic man now you see me now you don't

I got a offer to do playgirl magazine and I did it

I got something to tell you you mangy piece of trash

I got strep throat and it's bad I don't wanna give it to everyone else

I got you pepe le bitch

I got you! I got you man! i'll help you!

I gotta get going! go go!

I gotta go check on cuckoo bird

I gotta take a piss

I gotta tell you granny this blows how much more of this

I gotta tell you this is about a damn perfect evening right now

I guess if I really gotta think about it I just went out there and drove

I have been following your career with great interest monsieur bobby

I have come here to defeat you

I have kept my mouth shut for a really really long time and I just don't think that I can keep it shut anymore

I have not finished

I hope that both of you have sons handsome beautiful articulate sons who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away!

I just have to tell you that I think you are making a big mistake

I just started pressing stuff

I just wanna say thanks doc for taking care of our boy here

I just wanna say that powerade is delicious and it cools you off on a hot summer day

I just want to take time to say thank you for my family my two beautiful beautiful handsome striking sons

I just want you to know I came here today to tell you one thing that come race time tomorrow i'm coming for you all right

I just wish to hell you had a little more stupid cowboy in you

I keep snapping back into it it's like a trick you're pulling on me

I know he's a son of a bitch

I know I screwed up raising you as a boy but just let me help you as a man

I know i'm sorry it's my fault I shouldn't have been standing

I know i've been calling them all day trying to get you but they keep sending me different delivery people

I know it that some bad stuff happened just now but in time

I know it's a technicality but I tell you what you try to take this away from me i'll sock you in the face

I know one thing carley was definitely unconscious every time we had sex

I know there's a cougar in the car I put it in there you gotta learn to drive with the fear

I know you son I know you well you're just like me

I like hearing that

I like to picture jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai

I like to picture jesus in a tuxedo t shirt because it says like I wanna be formal but i'm here to party too because I like to party so I like my jesus to party

I like to picture jesus like a mischievous badger like a muscular t****ze artist

I like to think of jesus as a figure skater who wears like a white outfit and he does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey

I like to think of jesus like with giant eagle's wings and singing lead vocals for lynyrd skynyrd with like a angel band

I like your driving style i'm more of a tony stewart man number 20 car myself how he gets into those straightaways gets it in the paint

I lost all muscle control

I lost my muscle control

I love it say it one more time

I love seeing some french guy break my record while I got my arm wrapped up like a fricking gordita

I love that

I love the way they're talking to you 'cause they're winners winners get to do what they want

I love you

I love you bro I love you too

I love you cal

I love you cal!

I love you guys!

I love you too come on

I mean do you know what that means

I mean he died last night in my arms as I held him

I mean he's been blowing me off for 25 years and now he wants to get to know me

I mean I just laugh thinking about him whining all the time bitching and moaning

I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt

I mean i'm just i'm happy for you

I mean it doesn't hurt being ricky bobby i'm not gonna lie to you

I mean it's not like you're finishing 18th

I mean you probably didn't hear about it because I went under the name of mike honcho

I mean you walk in that door on your two legs all fat and cocky and looking at me in my chair and you tell me it's all in my head

I mean you've always looked good

I missed you dudes even you too glenn

I missed you mama speed ricky bobby's back

I need you all to step away from my driver

I owe you an apology

I play for keeps!

I prefer solitude the day before a race

I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you

I said i'm your daddy

I said wait till after the race

I saw ricky bobby last night walking around with a cast on his arm

I see terry he's having a chicken sandwich

I see you

I sure as hell am chip

I think I touched a nerve

I think nascar will black flag him for that

I think what you are hearing is my accent I am french

I think you wish you thought of it

I thought we had a good thing going shake and bake

I threw a bunch of grandpa chip's war medals off the bridge

I trapped it been keeping it in my bathroom at the motel feeding it old pizza

I wanna go fast

I wanna tell gerard depardieu we're coming for him

I want this music out of my head

I want you to hit up every independent driver out there for spare parts

I was gone three hours

I was just telling you that because like I said I lost my license i've been having a lot of problems lately

I was just trying to stay calm

I was wrong about you ricky bobby

I wet my bed until I was 19 there's no shame in that

I will battle you with the entirety of my heart and you will probably lose

I will let you go ricky but first I want you to say I love crepes

I will never shake your hand ever but I will give you this

I win the races and I get the money

I wish I could crawl into one of those right now

I wish you could've seen him I wish you could've felt his little heart fluttering

I work too hard for your bull chip

I would be honored if you would let me sign your cast

I would love to no!

I'd eat my way out from the inside they are tasty

I'll cut right here just stretch it out stretch it out

I'll just bury it down inside bury it deep down in there and never bring it up again

I'll rip you a new one

I'll tell you the truth i'm a little confused by your tactics

I'll tell you what though guys that was a hell of a race today

I'm 10 years old but i'll beat your ass

I'm a veteran and a diabetic!

I'm all about getting to the front tonight lucius let's go! let's move it!

I'm choking on my own spit it hurts so bad i'm choking on my own spit

I'm coming in the hummer are you ready

I'm embarrassed I really thought I could feel it

I'm feeling the worn wood of the steering wheel a little bit of heat that's you and the car melded together

I'm getting bored man you wanna come over and play g I joes

I'm gonna put an end to this right now get all this crap off you you don't need any of this crap

I'm gonna scissor kick you in the back of the head

I'm gonna settle this thing let's just get ourselves a whole mess of cocktails get drunk and work this thing out

I'm gonna start this car up

I'm gonna windmill you

I'm happy that waffle house was okay with me coming here to talk to y'all about my day to day

I'm here for career day with my son ricky

I'm honestly concerned he might have had a stroke

I'm just gonna get in there i'm just gonna grab the handle i'm gonna get in and drive that car i'm gonna do it calm

I'm just having a hard time man i'm just calling up for some support

I'm just kidding you man I don't wanna win

I'm just saying sometimes you get a knock on the head you get special powers it happens all the time read a comic book okay

I'm just saying think about it

I'm just so proud of you you remind me of me precocious and full of wonderment

I'm just waiting on those two things to kind of flesh themselves out

I'm lucky how so

I'm naming cal naughton jr as the driver

I'm not gonna be your best man!

I'm not gonna lie to you it felt good

I'm not gonna say it

I'm not gonna say it's the best car in the world but it'll move for us

I'm not gonna tell anyone

I'm not stupid no one lives forever no one but with advances in modern science and my high level of income I mean it's not crazy to think I can't live to be 245 maybe 300

I'm not sure what to do with my hands #talladega nights #ricky bobby #awkward #anxious #nervious #help #interview #nerves

I'm not sure what to do with my hands be good to hold them down by your side

I'm on fire

I'm on fire I don't wanna die come back here

I'm on fire!

I'm proud of you!

I'm putting a lot of my eggs into that basket the mtv basket

I'm reese bobby

I'm ricky bobby

I'm so jealous god I hate myself for being so jealous but I am I wish you'd help me just a little

I'm sorry I didn't mean to

I'm sorry I took you for granted cal and you were a really good friend to me and I never gave you your due it was my fault

I'm sorry ricky we were just trying to give you a little extra motivation that's all

I'm talking about sitting down enjoying a gourmet meal at a place that's real special

I'm telling you what he's gonna try the outside move again I don't know if it's gonna work

I'm the magic man now

I'm through lying to myself you know it's time to be mature about this and just face facts

I've always had a lot of great ideas

I've been waiting a long time for you to say my name man

I've decided I can love you again you're a winner

I've got some big investors coming by these guys are big money power players

I've never seen a driver who wants to win more than this guy

I've seen a lot of big crashes at talladega but this is the longest one i've ever seen let's take a quick commercial break and we'll be right back

I've sent in my application to the real world so i'm hoping to hear back

If I was right why'd you throw another bucket on me

If I win I might do a special thing with david copperfield where he hides in my car in the passenger seat and he just flings magic stuff out the window

If things go right they could have us owning half the cars in nascar

If we don't get that car back on the track our sponsors are gonna shit a chicken

If you ain't first you're last

If you ain't first you're last (2)

If you don't chew big red then fuck you

If you slept with your best friend's wife why would he apologize to you

If you're scared that beautiful death machine will do what god made it to do namely eat you with a smile on its face

In a ladies' room

In the can

In the song the gambler you sang you gotta know when to walk away and know when to run

Is it ricky

Is ricky passing me in my subconscious

Is that right yeah well I wish I could've been there for that

Is this some kind of joke you guys putting me on

Is your name by chance ricky bobby

It comes from my heart that's why

It doesn't matter lucius we're in last place relax

It fires me up man

It got a little heated but

It is dumb

It is isn't it

It is one of the hardest things to do in racing to try to bounce back after a devastating violent wreck

It looks like neither girard or bobby will finish this race

It looks like the nascar has gone french

It sure as heck does

It was completely illegal and in no way will count but man that was something it was that was really good

It's a hot one here in talladega and this crowd of over 180000 is enjoying one heck of a day

It's a lot of fun I think you'd have a good time

It's all right it's all right you're not on fire!