Cal Naughton Jr. Soundboard Edit

But I just wanted you to know that if you could hear me if it got into your brain somehow that I spread my butt cheeks as mike honcho

Did you eat peanut butter or something you sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth

I like to picture jesus in a tuxedo t shirt because it says like I wanna be formal but i'm here to party too because I like to party so I like my jesus to party

I like to picture jesus like a mischievous badger like a muscular t****ze artist

I wet my bed until I was 19 there's no shame in that

I'm just saying sometimes you get a knock on the head you get special powers it happens all the time read a comic book okay

It's shadow time buddy it's time to go home to jesus goodbye buddy

Listen leaving your big old corpse behind for your loved ones to deal with ain't cool

Ninety eight percent of us will die at some point in our lives the darkness is creeping towards you whether you know it or not so a little planning can go a long way

Oh god! please don't let the invisible fire burn my friend!

Oh hey ricky hey man we missed you at the wedding

Shake and bake

So when you say psychosomatic you mean like he could start a fire with his thoughts

That's what i'm saying my head's all tied up like a pretzel I got a pretzel in my head

These two are two in a million just like carley's tatas you won't find another rack like that I guarantee you

What's implication mean

You just lost your wife you just lost your job don't throw out your best friend because of your anger