Eurotrip Movie Soundboard Edit

Administer the testicle clamps.

Ah, it's gonna be so awesome. Yeah.

All right, I gotta piss like a pregnant woman.

Alright, let me count of three. Here we go 321. Look at jamies penis. Very funny.

And all error error.

And I believe.

Anyway. Great party, buddy.

Back off. Get out of it. You're wankers. Go on your Gaelic. Fucking garlic breath, tossers. Piss off. Get in here and say that, mate. Come on. Fucking come and have it. You fucking pig will pig you...

Back off. Go on your Gaelic fucking garlic bread.

Back. You do? OK.

Ben. Me, believe me. Bill. We bail. Bell. Oh, he's good.

Boy. You're bloody out of you.

But given the current clear political climate, all European countries should have a seat at the table. Fucking orange juice. I hate them Italian bastards.

But what are you doing? How are you doing your e-mail? Don't do that.

Came all the way to Europe. Can't wimp out now.

Came all this way. I'm not gonna miss this.

Can we please just get out of here? This guy is really creeping me out. Who? Robot man. He's just trying to feed his robot family. I really don't like him. Why? Because he's doing this. Alright, OK...

Can you say what the fuck did I do last night?

Check it out, European ass.

Checkthese

Cool, cool. Go to hell, Mary catches at the party. The 30, the 20, the 10 touchdown. Hope makes 2 point conversion. Ohh my Lord, it's the Pope and the heathens. How's you, sucker?

Coop here. Hello, Mr. Walters. What do you mean you never got the guterman file? I told Humphrey to give it to you. That's hogwash. I handed to him myself yesterday. Yes, Sir, I will tell Humphrey....

Cooper here. Hello, Mr. Walters. Yes Sir, I'm down to file storage. Just hang on one SEC. No, Sir, I can't find the Goodman file anywhere. Yes, Sir, I'll keep looking. Now I don't rest until I find...

Cooper, do not hate me. Food.

Cooper, Harris, you're a pig. Oh, wait, Kenny, you should clean that off before you go. Clean water. You've got a little something on you. Where? Up there, it's like a smudge or something. Where? L...

Cooper. The hat. The hat. The hat is on fire. We don't need no water. Let them all. I'm not kidding. Look.

Do they room all your pre Med geeks together? I'm not sure I'm going pre Med thinking about majoring in German. German. I've got a better idea. Why aren't you major not being such a woman?

Dude, Mike is hideous. Run.

Elected the new phone.

Enjoy Bratislava. It's good you came in summer. In winter it can get very depressing.

Europe is officially the worst country on Earth.

Exclusive. Miss guzy.

Excuse me? Do you speak any English? You are Americans. Yeah. I love America. We just get Miami wise on television. Amen. Miami Wise is #1 new show.

Fiona.

Fiona.

First bus to Berlin doesn't leave till tomorrow morning. What do you wanna do? Get the Tower of London. There's Buckingham Palace. There's no drinking age. There you go.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I have cheated on my husband. Do you think God will ever forgive me? Ohh yes. Mother.

Give me cash with cash. Give me cash. Take it all, you dirty girl. What? Your wallet focus.

God, he it's not you, it's me. There you go, lying again. No, it it was you. You're just so. It's predictable.

Gosh, you really like cameras?

Greetings from your American pen pal Scotty. Girl Scouts have pen pals.

Guys, returning doesn't leave until tomorrow morning, but we going to sleep tonight. What do you mean sleep? We can sleep on the train tomorrow. This is the best thing that could have happened to u...

Guys, we're wasting the whole day here. We're in Paris. Let's go to the loo. Hello.

He is American, a sad for you to grow up in a country that was founded by police, a country overrun with crime and literacy. A country where a man is forced to make sex to only one woman at a time ...

Hello, Mr. Walters. I see. Fired. Well, I. Yeah. Well, if that's what you want, I understand. I just. Goodbye, Sir. Glad to catch you eventually, right? No, they fired Humphrey. Shut up. Yeah, I go...

Here's a fun fact. Volterra contracted syphilis just two blocks from here. Should we go?

Here's your letter. Jacket back. Goodbye. This isn't mine. Now she's the keeper, huh?

Hey check this out. I'm the Pope, Cooper. Take off the popete. Oh, no, it's OK. I'm Catholic. Cooper, take it off. God damn it. No. You took the Lord's name in vain. Only I can forgive you now, my ...

Hey, listen up, everybody. Now, little special thing I'd like to do tonight and play a little song for you. About the nastiest, freakiest little sex puppet I know. Fiona.

Hey, Mike, dear Scott. I was very sad to hear about your lady woman Fiona, dumping you. Since you no longer have a girlfriend, maybe I could come to America and we could get to know each other bett...

Hey, Mom made waffles. What's going on? I'm in love with my pen pal. I'm in love with Mike.

Hey, this isn't where I parked my car.

Hey, this isn't where I parked my car.

Hi. Hey, bonjorno.

Hike your mitts off then, boy. Stay with me.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. What is it? This is great. You're so innocent. Let's change that, shall we? What would you like me to do? Well, I don't really know. I guess I haven't really done that mu...

Holy cow.

How could you?

How is this possible? I guess they thought I was a guy. Now, who would be dumb enough to make a mistake like that?

How the hell could this happen? We all go to Amsterdam and Jamie's the one who hooks up. For shame.

How?

I am familiar with over 600 dance moves and I am programmed to get. Free geek.

I am freaking out.

I can't breathe, start freaking out, and I think we got a bad batch because I'm freaking out. I can't do this.

I got to say, I'm not feeling anything. Me neither, sober as a judge. How about you? I'm not feeling a God damn thing. It's absence is bullshit.

I have planned every detail of the trip to maximize the fun. You brought a guidebook to a party if you guys want to see my itinerary. Do you want to see my balls?

I heard two years ago Nikki Jagger sister Debbie met this really wealthy French guy and they spent a month sailing the Mediterranean on his yacht. And that's just the most romantic thing you've eve...

I know he was out of control. How about you guys? Did you alright, look. We were really drunk. Things got a little crazy. And Jamie. Kissed me. Let's just forget about it, OK? General forgotten. Ne...

I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. The girls never came. The girls never came.

I still can't believe you came all the way to Europe for a girl. Ohh wait no, not just any girl. Show the picture Scotty. She makes every girl in her high school look like a walrus. I'm a girl from...

I'm never drinking again.

I'm never drinking again.

I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when the train gets here. Says here this town has a famous nude beach. All right, look, we can all just lie around all day. We've got to get out there and experience th...

I've been saving myself for you. Let us Make Love for one whole month.

If you do not wish to have your valuables stolen, I suggest destroying them or discarding them right now. You can also try hiding your valuables. In your anus.

Is it off yet? No. Keep rubbing it.

JB's hooking up with another girl. God damn it. It's just so unfair. I've been all over the place looking crazy. European sex and he's the one who ends up getting. Oh my God.

Jenny, let's go. Those are my friends. We're supposed to get on a train to Berlin. Hey. No, it was really nice to meet you.

Jenny, that outfit is horrible. Take it off now.

Jenny, this is Europe. They've orange juice ads with lesbians and dildos. Harbingers. You got to show them something we haven't seen before.

Let me see that thing. No can do. I spent the last four years tutoring lacrosse players just to pay for it so nobody touches my camera but me. So it's like your Weiner.

Let the crazy European sex odyssey begin.

Listen to yourself, alright? You met a cool guy on the Internet, OK? This is how these sexual predators work. Next thing you know, he's going to want to arrange a meeting where he will gas you and ...

Listen, we we're trying to get to Berlin, Germany. Do you know if there's a train coming anytime soon? Ohh yes, very soon. They are building it now.

Look around. There's got to be 100 drunk girls here and we should be trying to have sex with everyone of them. Hello. Mixed company. What? I'm a girl. No, you're not. Yeah, he's a cool guy with lon...

Mail motherfucker.

Mail motherfucker.

My friends, where is the beef?

My wife makes the best sangria. Wait, what sangria will you take? A good Spanish we offer. And you put in slices of orange and you said you were married? So you just go around Europe sleeping with ...

No, it's just not coming off. What is it? Well, it may be tree SAP or something. Try pinching it. No, it's just not coming off. I tell you what. Lick your fingers. Get some saliva. Go. But the. Yea...

Now please enlighten me. Who the fuck are you? That is a good question. And Scotty? Where are the Manchester United fan club? From Ohio. Fuel Manchester United supporters. Sing the Manchester Unite...

Now put your clothes back on, White boy.

Now you're kissing. Are you making out with your new roommate Scotty?

Oh, here it is. Brought slava. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact. You made out with your sister, man.

Oh, you guys want to stay here? Should we go check out the huge line at the Eiffel Tower?

Ohh looking gentian Holland. Did you say Fluga came home? Yes, yes, for the love of God. Are you sure? Yes, please. As you wish. Bring on the plug.

Ohh Mike, Mika.

Ohh non funder sex.

Ohh, this isn't where I parked my car.

Ohh. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

OK, I don't have anything to Germany for a week, but I can get you both to London today for $118. Anything else? Europe is like the size of the Eastwood mall. We can walk to Berlin from there. Coop...

P.

Pretty good. Pretty damn good.

Read that sweet, sexy European air.

Relax, Paris is practically a suburb of Berlin. It's a nothing commute. This is why France and Germany have always been allies. Allies.

Scott, we need to talk about what? About me dumping you. Huh.

Scott. And I am enjoying my band every Sunday. You tell them she's answers, but she doesn't go. Still, she's on her knees and Scotty doesn't know. Scotty doesn't know. No.

Scotty, where the hell are we going? Don't worry. If anything bad happens, my parents will find us, honey. Where's Scotty? Cooper said they were going camping. Oh, that's nice. And we're expert. Fu...

Should a fire occur due to a faulty wiring or a deferred works factory upstairs, you will be incinerated along with the valuables that you have hidden in your anus.

So are the girls coming back?

So I tell the swamp Donkey a sacket before I give her a Tonkin a tradesman's entrance and have a lick me yarbles. Wow. You guys are on like a completely different level of swearing over here.

So what the hell happened last night? You got steamed up, hissed at the far too much. So sun. Don't worry, I'll come and got you so you wouldn't miss the trip. What? What trip? Where are we going? ...

So what's the etiquette on boners? Do I roll over and dig out a hole for it, or is it cool they'll just let my flag fly?

So where's your evil twin brother at?

Sometimes we find that our clients are so overwhelmed with the pleasure that they sometimes scream out no when really they mean. And This is why we have to save for it. The safe work. If at anytime...

Sorry to hear about Fiona. She's the whore.

Stay Blackbird.

Stop hammer time.

Take a look at this. Club bander sex. It's a red light. Districts hottest sex club. We have to check it out. Who's with me? I'll go. Fine. Since no one else is willing to go, I'll just go myself.

That is some pretty fucked up shit.

That sounds so exciting for you.

That was a pretty wild night, eh? Yeah, pretty wild. Pretty wild.

That's way too fucking easy.

The Pope is dead.

There are so many penises from us tried to tell you, you just didn't listen. This is the biggest sausage fest on Earth. It's the international House of sausage.

They really are the worst twins ever.

This happy ending is bullshit. What is the fairy? Get laid. I'm out of here.

This is a private members bar exclusively for the supporters of the greatest football team in the world, Manchester United. Now please enlighten me. Who the fuck are you?

This is definitely where I parked my car.

This is just so brutal and yet I can't look away. But it played again. Come on.

This is what, crazy Pope?

This man rocks, yeah.

This still counts as Europe, right?

This trip is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to broaden my sexual horizons. What are you talking about? I'm talking about crazy European sex. You know, America was founded by prudes. Prudes...

Tomorrow with your mom? No, nothing's all right. You sold us a bad batch of hash brownies. You're a bad, bad Rastafarian. These are not brownies. Hmm. What was that? We do not serve harsh brownies ...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Does nude beach mean we have to get naked too? Of course. Do you think you can go an hour without your currency? Colostomy wack. Hey, hey, as long as this ...

We just, we just bootleg the bootlegger. So does that feel? Fuck you, pirate.

We're going to be couriers. It's the best way to get a cheap flight. All we have to do is carry their packages and then drop them off when we get there. My cousin did it when he went to India. Yeah...

Welcome to club, Undersexed Amsterdam's most erotic club. They're your every fantasy will be fulfilled. 3T shirt with flyer.

Well, there's your R rating right there.

What a fucking loser. I'm gonna videotape this.

What do you mean you're dumping me? God, I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore. What are you talking about, sweetie? I never cheated on you. I know. That's what makes t...

What happened to you? I got robbed. It was awesome.

What the hell is that? It's a traveller's money belt, former says. As long as you have one of these, no one can rob you of anything. Except your dignity. No, you just put that in your. Wait, what?

What the hell is wrong with you? See, Threepio, we're here to see Europe, not some crappy statue.

What the hell?

What'd you do last night? I don't want to talk about it. What did you guys do? Don't want to talk about him?

Why are you wearing my bathrobe? Oh, I'm sorry, but somebody pissed all over mine last night.

Why don't you get me gin and tonic? I hate gin. You do. You guys are the worst twins ever.

With the master's care for anything else? I think we're good. Thanks. Ohh. And Nico. You see this? I quit. I opened my own hotel.

Woo Hoo.

Would that be there?

Wow, I can't believe this German chick wants to come here and hook up with you. Yeah, I don't think so. Buddy makes a guy. No, it says right here. Trojans matching. I was a sad girl to hear about F...

Wow. Who's the hot chick? That's Mike. Let me. Mika, wait. That's Mike. That's you've been writing to all this time? Yeah, you know, until last night when I took your advice and told her to keep he...

Yes, they cut hair and one strand at a time. Pull it out your hair like a humping coach.

You and your retarded friend. You're a big, big traveler.

You fucking know it. But I am Swiss them too.

You know what? I was actually expecting this. And frankly, no. Listen, I'm flattered you pick me to come out too 1st and don't worry about telling your folks cause. I think they already know. No, y...

You're so innocent. Let's change it, shall we?

$1.83 American. What are we going to get with that? Got it. Love that exchange rate.