Kyle Soundboard - South Park Edit

About what?

All right, here it goes. You aren't really here.

And I saw you OK in your room, passed out with a VR headset on. Customer service said that one of us needed to put on the headset and come get you. And that's why I'm here.

And it is password protected with the security code that only a child would know.

And so, is there any way you'd?

And there's something I need to tell you.

Argh!

Bill Cosby.

Butters.

Can I talk to you?

Can we talk to your supervisor, please?

Cartman.

Corey Lansky.

Could I please have one of your piping hot farts in my mouth?

Eric Cartman.

Even the dumbest lie can have big consequences.

Excuse me, if my little brother has been getting some athletes hormones, then who has been getting ice medication?

He's just changing a lot. He walks around angry, telling me I'm stupid and only talks about his sex.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. There are certain networks that we see as harmful to our families and we want them removed, please.

Hey.

How do you murder a stuffed animal?

How's it going?

I can't even get a minute of peace before that bitch walks in holding the cell phone out like this and talking on speakerphone.

I just want to be by your side while you do it.

I just want to know what medication my little brother has been getting from you and why.

I just wanted to see if maybe you want to do finger paints with me.

I know it's hard to believe, but you have to trust me.

I love Cartman's farts.

I need to talk to you.

I'm going to tell you something, and I need you to believe me.

If some of us are on PS fours but the rest of us are on Xboxes, then we all can't play together online. See, this is all about committing to one machine.

It's my little brother.

Knock it off right now.

Kyle.

My name is Kyle Broflovski. Can you tell me if I purchased an Oculus Rift headset there?

Nobody wants to hear your God damn conversations, you little bitch. You're not that important.

Oh my God, will you check his records please?

Or if you sold one to an Eric Cartman.

Somebody's teaching our parents Minecraft.

Something is wrong with my brother and it might be your fault.

Sorry, kid. Guess we have the wrong house.

Stan.

There's an app which can actually allow kids to block things that their parents watch on television.

They take that shit off speakerphone.

This isn't funny.

This isn't funny. Age isn't funny. Dying isn't funny. So shut the fuck up.

We all have to agree on one system.

We heard that you might be teaching Minecraft to adults.

We need help. Our friend is in a coma.

We'll stop it with that.

What exactly can I do to help?

What part of being infected with the deadly disease do you find funny?

What part of this is funny to you?

Why do people talk on their phone like that?

Will you please tell your dad to leave me alone?

Would you please just open your wormhole?

Yeah, our friend had been missing for a few days, so we went and checked on him and he's in a coma wearing your headset.

You know, could you?

You mean he's actually stuck in virtual reality?

You taught them Minecraft.

You're a fat skank and your tits belong in a more.

You're a murderer.

Your dad was on my line yelling at me all night and after I finally fell asleep, I woke up Saran Wrap to a tree with penises on my face.

Your Weiner is not 13 inches long.

Yummy, yummy, yummy. Can I please have Carmen's Farts in my tummy?

Yummy, yummy, yummy. I want Cartman's farts in my tummy.

Yummy, yummy. I want your farts in my tummy.