Cocktail (1988) Edit

A bartender is the aristocrat of the working class.

A business which shall yield a financial windfall

A daiquiri if you will, bartender.

A dynasty! You're founding a dynasty!

A guy like me looks in the mirror.

A guy who gets an erection on his birthday if the wind is right.

A kept man, eh?

A kid, I mean, our kid needs a father.

A man will always be judged based on the amount of alcohol he can consume.

A martini.

A means to an end.

A parade of slobbering geeks,

A partner who knows his place.

A real lady killer.

A rich chick? You'd go with a woman just because she had money.

A secret admirer?

A stray dog can be loyal.

A toast! To the bride, and to my nephew!

A white wine.

A white wine.

A word some of you will get to know well in the future.

About his problems.

Absolut on the rocks,

Add increases in currency, deposits, reserves and bank credits.

Adding these components together,

Administrative costs, income prospectus,

After the time we spent together?

After work, you're so charged, you have a few drinks.

Ah! A seeker of wisdom and truth.

Ah! Light dawns on marble head.

Ah! The old philosopher.

All right, I'm a rat and there's no hope for me.

All right!

All right! Nothing!

All right.

All right. Poem!

All visitors have to be announced, Mr. Flanagan.

Almost knocked the eye out of my head.

Always will be.

Am I supposed to live with the same man,

America, you're just devoted

America's getting stinking On something I stir or shake

And a meaningful relationship with an unattached millionairess.

And blew the fucking lot.

And bottle of Louis XIII says you'll be working for me by St. Patrick's Day.

And have no one else in my life?

And have them call an ambulance?

And he doesn't even rate a beer on the house?

And he goes for the poorest and the dumbest every time.

And he thinks she's just there for the sun.

And her tennis coach.

And I haven't seen anything to grin about in a long time.

And I realize that Jordan is very upset.

And in their wake,

And my own personal favorite, Mrs. Sheila Rivkin.

And prepare a complete plan for its development.

And some guy corners the flugelbinder market.

And that night he bet me that I couldn't do the same.

And that's the bottom line!

And the customer?

And those little wrappers are made by another guy.

And with a token, it might get me on a subway.

And you my friend are a worker.

And you're ugly.

Anyone who can get money out of her is a major talent.

Apologize?

Are you down there?

Are you okay?

Art!

Art? The more it costs, The better it is

As for the way I feel about you,

At least try a Jus d'Amour.

At least you could apologize.

At least, not yet, anyway.

Aw!

Baby, not again.

Back off!

Bankrupt!

Bar's closed, pal.

Bar's open!

Bastard!

Because I knew it would be the best way to get you out of my life.

Because I'm not there.

Because you're so hung up on money,

Beer.

Before she twisted your mind.

Before you know it, your life is just one long night

Believe me.

Blue shirt, fifth row, wake up!

Bonnie, let's get out of here.

BONNIE: Brian!

Bonnie's hooking me up with her business.

Boozus New Yorkus.

BOTH: Cheers.

Boy, oh, boy, you've got them.

Brian Flanagan.

Brian Flanagan.

Brian Flanagan. Kerry Coughlin.

Brian, are you there?

Brian, how do you think I felt seeing you go off with some woman

Brian, I know you can, but it doesn't really matter.

Brian, I was there.

Brian, there is no "us."

BRIAN: 76th Street.

BRIAN: Baccarat crystal.

BRIAN: Both hands. Ladies, come on.

BRIAN: Could you hold this?

BRIAN: Good night, Paul. Thanks a lot. It was a good night.

BRIAN: Good night, sweet prince.

BRIAN: Have a nice day!

BRIAN: Hey, Doug!

BRIAN: Hey, Dulcy.

BRIAN: I've aIways wanted to work on Wall Street.

BRIAN: I've come to beg and plead for a job.

BRIAN: Ice!

BRIAN: Jesus Christ!

BRIAN: No, man.

BRIAN: Same ol' Uncle Pat.

BRIAN: Shit.

BRIAN: They deliver.

BRIAN: What for?

BRIAN: Who? Pocahontas over there?

BRIAN: You are bad.

Brian?

Brian.

Brian's cute. How long have you known him?

Buddy?

Build a little hut over there on the beach.

But come in.

But even I have a right to defend myself,

But I could live with it.

But I guess you knew that already.

But I think there's a chance for us.

But I will bet my bile duct

But I've got plans of my own.

But if I could talk to her, make her see

But if this is the way it's gonna be, why'd you tell me about the baby?

But if you want to get loaded

But it's ingrained in your immigrant blood.

But now decides she wants to become

But now I know I can handle it.

But still he gets up in the morning,

But the liquor, we still got.

But this I shall promise to thee

But you can't do it now, can you?

But you can't go in there!

Buttons were popping, skirts were rising.

By franchising his version of the local New York tavern

Can I buy you a drink? One of rum specialties, perhaps.

Case in point.

Cash off the books.

Christ!

Ciao, Tony.

Cocktails and Dreams.

Cocktails and dreams.

Come again?

Come back next Thursday. I've got five shifts open.

Come hither!

Come in.

Come on in.

Come on, Flanagan. I know it's here.

Come on, hit the road. Let's go.

Come on, I'll race you. Go!

Come on, let's decimate this dance floor.

Come on, this suspense is killing me.

Come on, we could make a fortune.

Come on!

Come on.

Come on.

Coming up here after what you did to Jordan.

CORAL: I was down there last month doing a shoot.

Coral.

Coral.

CoughIin's Law: Bury the dead, they stink up the joint.

Coughlin's diet.

Coughlin's law: Never talk about a woman.

Coughlin's law?

Coughlin's law.

Coughlin's law.

Could somebody go down to the condo office

Could you throw a 400 pound psychopath out the bar?

Darling, I think you've had enough to drink.

Darling?

Day in and day out, forever,

Days get shorter and shorter, nights, longer and longer.

Did you ever make love To a pauper?

Did you say you'd like to see the specials, sir?

Did you tell him about my marketing ideas?

Do our own renovation.

Do you ever have the feeling that you might meet somebody?

Don't look. It's not done.

Don't worry, I can handle it. So, home from the wars, huh?

Don't worry. It'll make you feel better. It'll help you throw up.

Don't you waste your loyalty on him.

Don't you worry, I won't forget my close friends.

Doug could've done it to you.

Doug is dead.

Doug landed a rich chick,

Doug says you're incredible with women.

Doug, wake up.

DOUG: Come aboard, ye landlubber!

DOUG: Get in there.

DOUG: Get up! Get out of there!

DOUG: Hands off the merchandise!

DOUG: Hot mama, huh?

DOUG: I should hope not.

DOUG: Missed.

DOUG: My dearest Brian,

DOUG: My princess. My dream.

Doug!

Douglas Coughlin, logical negativist.

Douglas Coughlin, your ship has certainly come in!

Drink or be gone.

Eddie here starts pounding on the bar, demanding a round on the house.

Eddie, you gotta be quicker than that.

English, Coral.

Ever work behind a bar?

Every fucking morning.

Every man wakes up one fine morning with the wife and kids.

Everyone with a hand stuck it in my pocket.

Excuse me, could you tell me what the specials are please?

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Do I have "fuck me" written on my forehead?

F!

Face it, you're a career proletarian.

FeeI it burn.

Fetch, Ronnie, fetch.

Fifty fifty.

Find a hair in your quiche?

Flanagan, get the hell out of my house!

Flanagan's Advice to His Unborn ChiId.

Flat beer from rusty pipes.

Flourished at the end of the 20th century.

For breakfast? You've got to be joking.

For stardom.

For the handsome, all knowing bartender.

For this evening anyway.

Forget it!

Fuck.

Get in there and spend some money, you two.

Get in there and spend some money.

Get some for yourself, too.

Get up, damn it!

Gilbey's and tonic and a Velvet Hammer.

Give him a minute. You'll love him. All women do.

God knows I have not done the right things.

God knows I've tried to beat that instinct out of him,

Good boy.

Good night, my beautiful.

Good shot.

Good, Tony.

Got yourself a new disciple?

Great. You are beautiful.

Guys.

Have a look on her ring finger.

Haven't gotten this one party broken, have you?

He bet me that I wasn't good enough to hustle her.

He can make all kinds of moves if he's smart.

He doesn't know how to make it.

He doesn't realize the doors are shut to people like us.

He either grins or he starts to fade away,

He got back Friday.

He kisses his wife and he goes to his drink umbrella factory,

He must be exhausted.

He supported a family, just like you're gonna have to do.

He was my best friend, but he was too proud to let me help him.

He was too proud to show how he felt until it was too late.

He'll dump you after Valentine's Day.

Hello!

Help me! Somebody help me!

Her managers, her lawyers, her trustees, her maid

Here. This'll get you there in style.

Hey, are you okay?

Hey, bartender.

Hey, buddy!

Hey, frogman.

Hey, schmuck. You get money from girls every day?

Hey, take it easy.

Hey, you!

Hey, your flugelbinder is out there waiting to be discovered.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! (WHISTLES)

Hi.

Hi.

His wife parades half naked on the beach

Hold it!

Hold on. You were pushing me down there.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Home of the famous cement Danish.

Honest?

Honey, I don't want them to think I'm shoving my boyfriend down their throat.

How about a Vodka martini with a Pernod float?

How about that guy?

How about the guy who makes these?

How are you?

How could you do this?

How dare you speak that way about my wife.

How did I humiliate you?

How did you get the cockroach to stand still...

How do you do?

How many would you like?

How will I ever know that you're being honest with me?

How you making out with that little blond chippie?

However, falling down stairs is allowed.

Hustle her?

I am going to be very fat, and you are going to love it!

I am in love.

I am not a salesman.

I am the world's first yuppie poet.

I am the world's last barman poet.

I appreciate that, Flanagan,

I appreciate the concern.

I asked you to prepare a business plan.

I believe in positive thinking. Never quit. Never say die.

I bet I can still spook you.

I can look at an ad and tell you what's wrong with it.

I can testify to that!

I can't make it with my best friend's old lady.

I can't see a thing without my contacts.

I catch on pretty quick.

I did you a favor, took her off your hands

I discovered him.

I do not.

I do.

I don't deserve it.

I don't get the two of them.

I don't have to, not anymore.

I don't know what really happened between the two of you, but...

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

I don't know what'll happen to me if you do.

I don't know, Uncle Pat...

I don't know, you looking for anotherjob?

I don't mean to bother you...

I don't see how being good at something can be your downfall.

I don't want any more to drink.

I don't want to cause any trouble.

I don't want to end it this way.

I don't want to make that same mistake.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

I don't want your goddamn money.

I don't work here anymore.

I doubt that.

I got a problem. Got time for a quick talk?

I got four people waiting for me.

I gotta go.

I grant you, it's not an easy concept to grasp.

I guess I could if I had to.

I guess I just got spooked.

I guess that's what you learned in college, right?

I guess the shit will certainly hit the fan

I guess you'll never know.

I had a premonition that I was gonna meet somebody

I had to get my money back.

I hate going to that place alone.

I have been doing some research

I have got serious "fuck me" eyes coming over here.

I have never seen a club with such intense dance vibes.

I have saved money. I've worked out a loan with my uncle for some more.

I haven't seen him in a while and I've never been here before,

I hope you're not suggesting that you'll marry her.

I hope your Brewer's yeast doesn't take it personally.

I just said it wasn't worth getting upset about.

I just want to talk to her for a few minutes,

I knew nothing about insurance,

I know the other night I didn't say the right things.

I know you're upset,

I know.

I love you! I want to marry you.

I make drinks so sweet and snazzy

I make things with juice And frothy Pink Squirrel

I met a bartender who makes $300 to $400 a day.

I moved my stuff out of your place this afternoon.

I must admit,

I must say, you've got a lot of nerve

I need a job.

I realize I've got a class of budding capitalists here.

I saved the apartment for you.

I saw you go off with that woman.

I see America drinking

I see, you want to put a hair in somebody else's quiche.

I still remember the day they came to repossess it.

I sublet it to a couple of yuppies. They loved your mother's furniture.

I swear, I'll be the best dad I can

I take it back, you're not going to be famous.

I taught him all I know.

I taught this young man everything he knows.

I think I can handle it.

I thought he was in Mexico.

I thought I told you to keep that punk out of this house!

I thought we had something going. I didn't play any games with you.

I thought you'd drowned or something.

I tried to sell out to you, but I couldn't close the deal.

I want to be part of a team.

I want to come by and thank you for helping out yesterday.

I want to go home.

I want to go home.

I want to talk about Doug.

I want you guys working for me.

I wanted it fast.

I was afraid I'd never know how you felt about me.

I was worth so little to you

I wish we could stay here forever.

I won't.

I'd fish and pick coconuts.

I'd like to see the specials.

I'd like to talk to you.

I'd think twice about ordering the specials if I were you.

I'll be heading back to New York with her.

I'll do whatever it takes to succeed.

I'll give you that.

I'll have a beer.

I'll have to take that bet.

I'll never let her marry a guy like me

I'll start writing bad checks.

I'll stick with the brew.

I'll take one of those orange things.

I'll take one of those orange things.

I'm a fast learner.

I'm all shook up

I'm coming.

I'm doing the best I can, okay?

I'm Doug's friend.

I'm going to be a father.

I'm gonna give you your first lesson. On the house.

I'm in a business program, city college, days.

I'm looking for the manager.

I'm not going back there with three drinks.

I'm not leaving.

I'm not leaving. That's it.

I'm not like all women.

I'm not sure what we're gonna do. We have a lot to talk about...

I'm not thinking about her that way, okay?

I'm not worried. I mean, I am worried.

I'm okay.

I'm on my ass. I haven't got a pot to piss in.

I'm pregnant.

I'm serious. I got the hottest saloon in town.

I'm sorry...

I'm spooked.

I'm willing to start at the bottom.

I've been famous for ten years. Just give me the money.

I've been here 25 years, never bought a drink.

I've been instructed not to let you in here.

I've been thinking about you all day.

I've been turned down l've been pushed 'round

I've certainly heard a lot about you in the last couple of days.

I've got some interviews set up for tomorrow.

I've know this man for 3 years and believe me, he's not a closer.

I've loved you from the first moment I saw you, Jordan.

I've told you, New York is where the angels are.

If a daughter arrives to bless our clan

If Jordan gives birth to a fine Irish son

If she hadn't left, you'd be back there begging.

If they fell over with their legs in the air, would it?

If you only knew how I missed it.

If you walk out of this house, don't bother coming back.

Immune to Coughlin's fatal charms?

In 1 969, the Mets won the World Series.

In a hole like this?

In the Army, I spent a lot of time in communications. I think I can help you.

In the meantime, I'll ask McDougal to give you a job.

In the most luxurious joint Manhattan's ever seen.

In two weeks, you'll be famous.

Into what it'll cost to set up Cocktails and Dreams.

Is he or isn't he a great bartender?

Is that what he says?

Is the conversations we had going.

Is this our waterfall?

Isn't that clever?

Isn't that what all bartenders' girlfriends do?

Isn't this great?

It didn't have to be this way, you know.

It doesn't sound like too much fun to me.

It doesn't. Your friend, what's his name...

It has been an adventure. (CHUCKLING)

It hasn't breathed in 50 years. It's dead.

It is not dignified to get this drunk.

It looks like you've got a lot of friends here this evening.

It means juice of love.

It only gets better.

It seems like happy hour all day around here.

It was good enough for your old man.

It was nothing but taking a cheap shot at me.

It wouldn't be any fun

It'd be great to get some talent behind the bar.

It's a penthouse. Your name, please?

It's addictive.

It's Bonnie.

It's great to see you, my only friend. Sit down.

It's his downfall.

It's made with fresh fruit right off the vine.

It's probably got one of those weird names too like flugelbinder...

It's the first sign of senility.

It's the only way I want it.

It's very urban in orientation.

Jesus, everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end.

Jet set bartenders, eh?

Jordan, don't go!

Jordan, I came here to talk to you.

Jordan, I just want to talk to you.

Jordan, I want a second chance.

Jordan, wake up! Don't you see why he's come back here?

JORDAN: Sorry. Payday's Friday.

JORDAN: Taxi!

JORDAN: What is going on here?

Jordan!

Jordan! Stop her!

Jordan?

Just because he gets lucky with a rich chick...

Just go!

Just in case.

Just kind of happen to you.

Just tell him not to make a move until he's seen our line, that's all.

Just to piss them off, she decided to marry a bartender.

Just wait here one moment, will you please?

Keep me in the manner I'm accustomed to.

Kids?

Kinda makes you curious, don't it?

Know how to make a Red eye, Mr...?

Know what it'd take to make a score on a smart woman like that?

Ladies and gentlemen.

Left a can of Spam in the refrigerator.

Let us see...

Let's dance.

Let's do it!

Let's get her up.

Let's go with the drinks. We're making money tonight.

Let's just drink it.

Let's really do it.

Let's see how well you hack it in the real world with an F in this course.

Life and love.

Like Mr. Ron LeMaster. Where is Ronnie LeMaster?

Like what?

LIMO DRIVER: Give us a break.

Listen to me!

Listen to me.

Listen, baby.

Listen, bozo, if you think I'm stuck in this gig...

Listen, I'm sorry I called you a bitch.

Listen, it's the difference between a one nighter

Look at that clown.

Look at that.

Look how tasty your cocktails are, look how clean you keep your bar.

Look, I know Jordan a lot better than you do,

Look, we've been waiting...

Looking for something better.

Looks like one of our customers.

Louis XIII. VoiIá.

Lucky, he says. You couldn't do it.

Make it fast. I'm real busy here.

Makes a difference on the street.

MAN 1 : Brian, give us a poem.

MAN 1 : Can I have what I ordered?

MAN 1: You're wasting your time.

MAN 2: A guy like you, advertising. BRIAN: I have a feel for advertising.

MAN 2: A white wine.

MAN 2: Brian!

MAN 2: Here we go.

MAN 2: Make a million, buddy!

MAN 2: Yeah! Poem!

MAN 3: A Bloody Mary. WOMAN 2: An Angel Tit.

MAN 3: Try the networks.

MAN: Cool down, guys.

MAN: Give us a kiss, you sexy beast!

MAN: It's better than sushi!

MAN: Let us in, Henry. It's cold out here.

MAN: Stick it in your Volvo!

MAN: You'll give him a heart attack.

Mark, I haven't forgotten about you.

Marketing, cost analysis...

May I suggest some ketchup for your fries.

Maybe he wants to open them.

Maybe I could handle a partner.

Maybe I'm just too old to be a student.

Maybe she had 1 5 minutes to kill. (LAUGHING)

Maybe she hides the pictures when she goes out.

Me! How you'd really feel about me.

Meanwhile your conscience is killing you.

Mighty Casey has struck out.

Miss, we have theater tickets.

Missed me!

Mmm hmm.

Mmm.

More like my obsession.

Morning, babe.

Mr. Flanagan is determined to revolutionize the bar business

Mr. Flanagan, would you come in, please?

Mrs. Rivkin has spent the last 20 years burning her husband's dinners,

My best friend in the world! My only friend!

My friend just passed out on the beach. Do you have a phone?

My kind of woman.

My poem is entitled The Bottom Line.

My rebellious sons.

My ship is going down, and I'm going down with it.

My ship.

My wife does not need other men.

My wife.

Never show surprise. Never lose your cool.

Nevertheless, certain antiquated skills such as reading and writing,

No brawling in here.

No matter how liberated this world becomes,

No such luck.

No way!

No way.

No, I'd do the fishing and coconut picking.

No, I'm all right.

No, it's not the money.

No, just get out!

No, not exactly.

No, this is the tropics.

No?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. A guy lays down a dare, you gotta take it.

Not a chance of that.

Not a goddamn thing any one of those professors says

Not for a hangover.

Not from a guy who hides here 'cause he can't hack it in the real world.

Not making you marry her, you don't care about her.

Not one that won't be around in a year.

Not that I wish you were dead.

Not to mention the guy who makes these.

Not until you let me apologize.

Nothing?

Nothing.

Now you take our hero, here.

Now, moving on...

Now...

Of course, I'm not like all men either.

Of spectacular.

Oh, God, I'm sorry.

Oh, God. I think I'm gonna throw up.

Oh, I was pushing you?

Oh, my God. He's got my paper.

Oh, please do.

Oh, what? Some alky remember you in his will?

Oh, you can handle it, huh?

Oh!

Oh! How do you get rich?

Oh.

Okay, a poem.

Okay, I'll be in the office in 1 5.

Okay, ready? One, two, three. Let go!

Okay, so what is? Sex?

Okay.

On the margin. Buy, cover, buy, cover.

One day we're gonna own that town.

One guy?

One, two, three.

Ooh! $1 0, Uncle Pat.

Open the door and let her pirouette out?

Open the door!

Or perhaps a surly bartender and three boring drunks

Or the power company, or purchasing, or linens.

Or you're gonna throw that back out again.

Ordering a Cuba Libre!

Our future.

Our kids would look really great in dreadlocks, too.

Out!

Owen'll take care of you.

Pinkity, blink.

Piss off, Henry. It's okay.

Please try to keep your envy in check.

Please, come with me.

Please, stop molesting the customers.

Please, there's so many things, I don't know where to begin.

POLICEMAN: Is there anything you can tell me about what happened?

Poor baby, he's frustrated.

Poor baby, he's frustrated.

Positive thinking!

PRIEST: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want..."

Probably. No, you'll want to divorce me.

PROFESSOR: For your midterm paper,

PROFESSOR: l'd like to discuss

Propounded a set of laws that the world generally ignored...

Pull over.

Put him in a room full of women

Reading between the lines.

RECEPTIONIST: You get here when you say you will,

Relax. You're in the perfect job.

Remain a part of the curriculum.

Remember, you're picking me up at 7:00 tonight.

Revolution? It takes money

Rich and ripe and out of your league.

Right now, baby!

Right now, what she needs around are people she can trust.

See if there's a white circle from her wedding band.

See this?

Send Harvey to Dallas right away.

Servicing all the widows in the neighborhood now.

Seventy thirty.

Sexual frustration.

Shall I continue?

She can never make up her mind.

She doesn't even want to talk to you.

She is just not very wise in the ways of the world.

She just happened to be here checking me out the other night.

She knows nothing about this. She thinks I'm a fucking hero.

She owns the whole fucking building.

She was drinking champagne in the sun.

She's at her parents' place. Go bang down their door.

She's been saving herself for young Flanagan all these years?

She's got a brownstone.

She's got millions.

She's not hiding. She's not home.

She's not trying to shake you down,

Shit!

Shit.

Should we let it breathe?

Simple. She's a rich chick, whose family owns half of Manhattan.

Sit down.

Slow down.

Smile.

So good to see you. Hello, darling.

So I'd appreciate it if you'd leave.

So I'll settle for sixty forty.

So was arthritis.

So what are you going to do now?

So you'll be here what time?

So, for your first assignment,

So, I'll wait at the end of the bar till closing.

So, is this one night stand time?

So, this is your profession.

So, what do you think?

So, why did you humiliate me like that in Jamaica?

Some woman must have really done a job on you.

Somebody help me!

Something Coughlin here has been unable to do.

Sorry, what apartment are the Mooneys in?

Spare change for my dry cleaning?

Speak up! Let the class hear you.

Spending quality time with spouse soused.

Stay in formation. Her old man's coming in right behind her.

Stay there.

Still, if our child is the naughtiest of girls or the wildest of men

Sure you will.

Sure, I know the place.

Sure, Park Avenue. Corner of 67th.

Sure, shoot till you miss.

Sweetheart!