Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010) Edit

A 17 year old Chinese schoolgirl? You're ridiculous.

A big one? Mmm hmm.

A door.

A gig is a gig, is a gig, is a gig.

A pain in my ass!

A thingy?

A week and a half later he told me

A year, I think.

Action.

Actually, it might have been math.

Actually, muchacho, I poured the soy in this cup.

After a week and a half, I told him to hit the showers.

After all that?

After I specifically told you not to... do that.

Ah! I didn't get his autograph.

Ah.

All I know is that she is American.

All of us?

All our shows are secret shows.

All right, let's do this.

All right, let's go.

All right, on your marks, everyone.

All right, this next song goes out to the guy

All right.

All right.

All the little jocks wanted me.

Am I dreaming?

Am I normally not?

Amazing.

Amazon.ca, what's the website for that?

American.

And a dorky hat?

And a fast entrance into hell!

And about her friends and, you know, drama.

And by the way, I can't... believe you asked Ramona out

And Earl Grey.

And Envy asked us to open for them.

And he apologizes, too.

And he was like, "You're in a band?"

And I apologize for that.

And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him.

And I have to fight... Defeat.

And I kicked him so hard that he saw the curvature of the earth.

And I really don't care.

And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.

And I think that you should market your sound

And I was like, "I'm in a band."

And I was like, "Yeah, I am totally in a band."

And I'm Ramona's first evil ex boyfriend.

And someone has a second date tonight.

And speaking of which,

And that they were afraid people would change...

And that's a cut!

And that's when he started paying attention.

And that's when he started paying attention.

And the cleaning lady, she cleans up dust.

And the lead singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life forever.

And the Sex Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight.

And the year.

And then I'm at this party and, hey, there she is.

And then it was time

And they are Crash and the Boys.

And they wanted you to open for them?

And two weeks later, they were sleeping together, I guess?

And was she cool with that?

And we have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went

And we're here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!

And you definitely don't want to listen to them.

And you didn't bang her? Are you gay?

And you get bacon on the side.

And you play the drums?

And you're dating a high school girl. Not bad, not bad.

And you're not a fat ass.

And, Kim,

And, yeah. Give it up for Sex Bob Omb.

And?

And...

Anyone can be vegan.

Anyone need another drink?

Anyway, night's not over yet.

Approximately.

Are we done with the hugging and learning?

Are you a pirate?

Are you coming to my party Friday,

Are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever?

Are you legitimately moving on

Are you serious?

Are you still mad about the whole thing with The Guild?

Are you waiting for the package you just ordered?

Are you wearing a tan jacket, like, a spring jacket, and a hoodie?

As in get out of here, or as in split, split?

At 12:27 a.m. on February 1st,

At a salon.

At least it'll give us something to complain about.

At the same time?

Attack hug! Hey!

Attack hug. That's so cute. So cute.

Aw!

Aw! I think this deserves a song.

Back off, hasbian.

Bad time? Not really.

Bad time? Not really.

Bad!

Bad!

Bad!

Bad!

Bad!

Bad! Bad!

Basically, you can't win this fight.

Beat my ass into the ground next.

Because he has so many friends.

Because I'm about to kick yours out of the Great White North.

Because I'm in lesbians with you.

Because I'm in love with her.

Because it's Friday now. She has the weekends off, so...

Because next time, I'll be deadly serious next time.

Because she missed her best friend.

Because Todd's gonna kill you.

Because you'll be dust by Monday.

Because you'll be dust by Monday.

Because you'll be pulverized in two seconds.

Been a while.

Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else,

Before you wreak havoc on another girl.

Being vegan just makes you better than most people.

Believe it or not, I actually dated Scott in high school.

Besides, I'm not even sure she did have a big breakup.

Between what and what?

Between you and I, the whole League of Evil Exes thing?

Bingo.

Bob Omb. Three piece rock outfit

Boom!

Boy, does she know me.

Bread makes you fat?

Bread makes you fat.

Break out the L word.

Briefly, briefly.

Buddy, welcome to the Chaos Theatre.

But are you a pretty good skater?

But are you saying Envy wasn't?

But can you defeat yourself?

But can you do a thingy on that rail?

But do you wanna see the house where I grew up?

But Envy Adams would like you all to come backstage.

But I don't think anything can get in the way of how I...

But I feel like I learned something.

But I just cashed my last rain check.

But I know how to get him back.

But I never suspected that we rocked as a unit.

But I thought real hard about pouring it in that cup.

But I'm gonna need my own bed tonight.

But I'm part ass?

But if I sign for it, you'll leave.

But if it wasn't for you she wouldn't have gotten back with me,

But in return, I have to issue an ultimatum.

But it actually comes from the Japanese phrase "paku paku, "

But it would be cuter short, wouldn't it?

But it's hard.

But it's only my first offense.

But not later?

But now you will be gone.

But she stopped liking that name.

But that was so long ago now I can barely remember.

But that's just me.

But then I realized how stupid that would be.

But then Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek.

But there was this girl.

But we'd understand if you didn't want to take part.

But what about you?

But you can't cheat

But you should go talk to her before she's gone.

But you won't see me,

But, yeah, I guess it'd be cool

By She Who Will Not Be Named. So...

Bye, and stuff.

Call us when you're done.

Can I get a caramel macchiato?

Can I get back to you on that?

Can we please stop all this fighting? Nobody stole anybody.

Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested.

Can't believe you're worried about me gaying up the place.

Can't wait to hear it when it's finished.

Can't we do our own secret shows?

Can't we do our... For the band?

Caramel macchiato for... Pilgrim.

Changed it to what? From what?

Chicken isn't vegan?

Ciao, Knives.

Code number 827, imbibement of half and half.

Combo!

Combo!

Come on, guy.

Come on, man! I put my problems aside for the music.

Come on, we're going on in five minutes.

Come on.

Come to the first round of this Battle of the Bands thing.

Consider our fight begun.

Continue?

Continue? Nine, eight,

Continue? Nine, eight, seven, six,

Controlling the future of Ramona's love life?

Cool, I'm coming in.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool. Yeah, yeah.

Crash and the Boys.

Dated a Todd once. Didn't end well, either.

Dating a high schooler is the mourning period.

Death.

Defeat your seven evil exes if we're going to continue to date?

Delete.

Did I say date?

Did I... stutter?

Did she really?

Did they really?

Did you find the guy you were stalking?

Did you know that the original name for Pac Man was Puck Man?

Did you learn that at Vegan Academy?

Did you make some of those up?

Did you speak to Ramona, then?

Didn't you get my e mail explaining the situation?

Didn't you know?

Didn't you say she just broke up with someone?

Dirty laundry. You're drunk.

Do that again and I will end you.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Do you know that girl?

Do you mind if I don't get into that right now?

Do you mind if we don't get into it right now?

Do you want to keep going?

Does she really?

Does that make you feel any better?

Does that mean we can make out?

Does that mean we can make out?

Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together?

Don't beat yourself up about it.

Don't give him the satisfaction.

Don't go!

Don't I get three strikes? I mean...

Don't let what's past ruin your future.

Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.

Don't you have a job to do?

Don't you talk to me about grammar.

Double negative. It's tricky.

Dude, I can see in your mind's eye.

Dude, I'm changing.

Dude, I'm totally waiting on you.

Dude, now I'm reading it.

Dude, this thing claims I have mail.

Dude, wait. Mystical powers?

Dude! What do you know about Ramona Flowers?

Dude! What?

Dude.

Either way, this fight is over.

Enough!

Envy Adams is so cool. Do you read her blog?

Envy, I was just gonna say did you get those jeans in New York?

Envy! Envy!

Envy? Oh, shit.

Envy.

Even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a year.

Every drug.

Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey.

Everything does suck.

Everything does suck.

Everything.

Exactly 431 days ago, three hours before his big breakup.

Excuse me, do you have anything by The Clash at Demonhead?

Excuse me.

Exes. Whatever.

Exes. Why do you keep saying that?

Fair trade blend with soy milk?

Fight your own battles, lazy ass!

Fight!

Finished?

For being the nicest guy I ever dated.

For my mortal well being,

For the band? For the band?

For the record, I am so pissed off for you, right now.

For Toronto to drown in the sweet sorrow

For what?

For your tragically Canadian sensibilities,

Forget it, Scott!

Forget what I said earlier. Finish him.

Forgiven?

Freeze! Vegan police!

From this point forward you will be known as "Neil."

Fun? In Toronto?

Game on, everybody. Game on.

Game over!

Game over.

Garlic bread is my favorite food.

Gay friends?

Geez, buddy, it's gonna be all right.

Gelato isn't vegan?

Get ready to Chau down!

Get ready!

Get ready!

Get ready!

Getting a life.

Gideon is G Man?

Gideon's here? Where?

Ginger with honey, ginger without honey,

Girl?

Girl. Okay.

Give it a rest, Ramona. This is a League game.

Give me the bacon, and go do your dirt

Give you psychic powers?

Go ahead and get snippy, baby.

Go out with a lot of guys?

Go, get her.

Go.

God, is that allowed?

God, what am I gonna do?

God, what am I gonna do?

God! This is a nightmare.

Goes a little something like this.

Good evening.

Good, I play better when I'm in a bad mood.

Good! Good! Good!

Good.

Good. Because you know how I feel about girls blocking the rock.

Got a job at Amazon. Comes into my work.

Got any embarrassing stories?

Great story, man.

Great. Listen, I know you play mysterious and aloof

Green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster,

Green tea, green tea with lemon,

Guess that's not very nice, but I used to be, kind of like that.

Guess we really don't know that much about each other, do we?

Guess who's drunk?

Ha!

Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek.

Have to go.

Have you dumped everyone you've ever been with?

Have you even kissed her?

Have you ever dated someone that wasn't a total ass?

Have you tried the section marked "The Clash at Demonhead"?

He and me.

He had snot in his nose? But he's famous.

He just has this way of getting into my head.

He only likes her because she's old. She's probably, like, 25!

He punched a hole in the moon for me.

He punched the highlights out of her hair!

He really doesn't know?

He was a snot nosed little brat. He just followed me around.

He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes, okay?

He was this pretty good skater.

He was warned plenty of times, but did he listen? No.

He'll be done. Real soon.

He's a creep, you're a bitch,

He's a friend.

He's a friend.

He's been cutting his own hair ever since.

He's dating a fat ass hipster chick!

He's famous and he talked to me.

He's filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now.

He's good, right?

He's not even conscious. Whatever.

He's totally dating a high schooler.

He's totally dating a high schooler.

Hello.

Hello. It's Scott.

Her name's Knives Chau. She's Chinese.

Her weak point is the back of her knees.

Her what?

Here we go!

Here we go!

Here we go.

Here you go.

Here, does that help?

Here, let me get your coat.

Hey,

Hey, buddy, look,

Hey, check it out, I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy II.

Hey, Comeau, you know everyone, right?

Hey, Comeau.

Hey, do you wanna, like, talk or whatever?

Hey, don't worry. I don't even know what I'm like anymore.

Hey, hombre.

Hey, I wanted to invite you over for dinner.

Hey, I'm gonna get a coffee. You homies want anything?

Hey, I'm not done with you.

Hey, it's me again. Scott. Give me a call when you get this.

Hey, it's tonight. At the...

Hey, Jimmy, do they rock or suck?

Hey, Jimmy. Double standard!

Hey, just out of sheer curiosity and concern

Hey, Knives, this is Stephen Stills. He's the talent.

Hey, Knives.

Hey, Knives.

Hey, Knives.

Hey, lovebirds...

Hey, man, question.

Hey, mind if I tag along?

Hey, Ramona.

Hey, Ramona.

Hey, Scott.

Hey, Scott.

Hey, so, can this not be a one night stand?

Hey, there he is.

Hey, this really burns.

Hey, Todd.

Hey, what's up with his outfit?

Hey, what's up?

Hey, where's Ramona. Is she still here?

Hey, you know me.

Hey, you know Pac Man?

Hey, you're here.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds.

Hey! Hey!

Hey! I'm talking to you, Scott Pilgrim.

Hey! I'm talking to you, Scott Pilgrim.

Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Scott's mourning period is officially over.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Yeah, I know.

Hey. You totally came.

Hi, I was thinking about asking you out,

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Big fan.

Hi. He's gay.

Hi. Morning.

Hi. You promise to be good?

High school, I guess.

Hilarious.

His dad was sending him to Vegan Academy,

Hmm?

How about this party? You getting your drink on here?

How are you doing that with your mouth?

How are you?

How could I possibly forget?

How could I? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public.

How do you guys all know each other?

How does it...

How old are you now, Scott? Like, 28?

How old is she?

How warm my place is right now.

How?

How's it going back there?

How's life? He seems nice.

Hurt, Kim.

I always wondered, how does not eating dairy products

I am heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush.

I believe I broke up with her.

I came here to escape, but the past keeps catching up.

I can

I can barely see you.

I can never get past that guy.

I can read your thoughts. Your will is broken. You're through.

I can see how it sucks. Having the past come back to haunt you.

I can't believe TCAD's coming to town. Will you take me to the show?

I can't even believe I'm saying this,

I can't hear anything you're saying.

I can't help myself around him, Scott,

I can't help myself around him.

I cannot believe the music they put on while we work.

I change my hair every week and a half, dude. Get used to it.

I cheated on both of you.

I cheated on Knives with you.

I could honestly eat it for every meal.

I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex girlfriend.

I didn't do anything. It's everyone else that's crazy.

I didn't make up the gay rulebook.

I didn't mean for you to get dragged into this, Scott.

I didn't mean to put you through all that.

I didn't steal anyone!

I didn't steal your boyfriend! I didn't steal Scott!

I dislike you, capisce?

I distinctly remember you being very drunk off a couple of G and T's...

I do not wanna be here at all.

I don't care. I'm...

I don't know and I don't want to know.

I don't know the meaning of the word.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know.

I don't know. Are you with me?

I don't know. Did you?

I don't know. It's just nice, you know? It's just simple.

I don't listen to that much music.

I don't mean just you.

I don't think I can hit a girl. They're soft.

I don't wanna have sex with you, Pilgrim. Not right now.

I don't want any hard feelings.

I don't want any more bad blood between exes.

I don't want you gaying up the place.

I don't want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party, Scott.

I dreamt that you were delivering me this package. Is that weird?

I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada.

I fought a crazy, 80 foot tall, purple suited dude

I get it.

I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up,

I got this job here, and Gideon had always said

I got to go. It's been nice chatting with you.

I got to second base last night.

I got us a show.

I gotta pee on her.

I guess

I guess Wallace.

I guess.

I guess.

I had this totally weird dream.

I had, like, one drink.

I hate her stupid guts!

I hate them.

I hate you.

I hate you. Even I would think twice about dating a 17 year old.

I have a feeling that's for you, guy.

I have distressing news.

I have my own skate company.

I have to order something really cool.

I have to pee.

I have to pee.

I have to...

I hear that she's a little hardcore.

I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass

I heard she has a boyfriend.

I heard she kicks all kinds of ass.

I heart you, Sex Bob Omb!

I hope so, amigo.

I just came to see your show.

I just remember there being a lot of drama.

I just want to say I feel terrible about earlier.

I just wanted something simple.

I just woke up, and you were in my dream.

I just...

I know battles. We got it covered.

I know it's early,

I know of him.

I know of it.

I know plenty of those.

I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past.

I know you're in here. Don't attack...

I know, you left me for someone I've never even seen.

I know.

I know.

I may need it for the rest of the week, too.

I mean, are you really happy or are you really evil?

I mean, don't tell my sister.

I mean, I didn't even know there was good music until two months ago!

I mean, I gotta pee. Pee time.

I mean, I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever, but you guys...

I mean, I want her to geek out on us.

I mean, I've never gone out with anyone so talented.

I mean, if it wasn't for me, Ramona would never have been with you

I mean, she told me it was mutual.

I mean, we can do this, right?

I mean, you can't say I don't know how to put on a show, right?

I mean, you guys are gonna be huge.

I meant scum of the earth.

I only did it because I love you. You know that.

I partake not in the meat, nor the breast milk, nor the ovum

I promise

I read your blog.

I really will leave you alone forever now.

I really, really mean it.

I said "lesbians."

I saw her at the library.

I should get it cut.

I should probably disappear.

I should thank you, though.

I skimmed it.

I still need a new life.

I swear to God, Scott.

I tell you.

I think a third of the band just went "poom."

I think act of God is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date.

I think he's...

I think I'll have Sleepytime.

I think I'll make it a decaf today.

I think I'm about to right now.

I think I'm gonna throw up.

I think she hugged me once.

I think she's the girl of my dreams.

I think she's...

I think that we should...

I think that's a really bad idea.

I think that's a really bad idea.

I think there's a thingy over here, somewhere.

I think this ex boyfriends thing is messing with my head.

I think we should get out of here.

I think we should split.

I think you mentioned she was fat.

I think you're both on first.

I thought we could go for a walk.

I thought we had a fight going on here!

I thought you didn't drink.

I thought you guys broke up.

I thought you guys split up.

I thought you might be more understanding.

I told you, like, 50 times!

I totally understand if you don't want to hang out anymore.

I understand.

I used to date that clown.

I wanna have his adopted babies.

I want you to know I don't care about any of that stuff

I was crazy about him. But he ignored me.

I was in a really dark place when I put that together, so...

I was just a little bi curious.

I was just there. Played the Chaos Theatre, for Gideon.

I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.

I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by.

I was really hoping to just leave it all behind me.

I was the other guy.

I was thinking

I will do everything I can to get out of the study group and come.

I will think of Envy Adams no more!

I wrote a song about you.

I'd hope you could figure that out.

I'd just like to live.

I'd just like to try and live in the moment if I can.

I'd love to postpone, darling,

I'd rather be dead than go back.

I'll be fine.

I'll be quieter.

I'll do whatever you want to do.

I'll leave you alone forever now.

I'll lend you the 35 cents.

I'll show you how ancient of history it is!

I'll take the one with soy.

I'll tell you what you are.

I'm 22. Twenty two.

I'm a little bi furious.

I'm a rock star.

I'm allowed.

I'm blowing up right now!

I'm going for the Oscar this year.

I'm gonna go pee due to boredom.

I'm gonna...

I'm in between jobs at the moment.

I'm in...

I'm kind of banking on her calling you back

I'm liking that.

I'm literally about to leave.

I'm more than pretty good, ese.

I'm Neil.

I'm Neil.

I'm not afraid to hit a girl.

I'm not doing so good right now.

I'm not getting it, friend.

I'm not playing your little games, kids.

I'm not saying I want to go.

I'm not sure there's going to be much of a party.

I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to her!

I'm not telling you that. Ramona.

I'm nothing without my stunt team.

I'm offended, Kim.

I'm opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get over it.

I'm really not in the mood for this.

I'm really sorry.

I'm really, really not up for this. Whatever it is.

I'm sending you back to Gideon

I'm signing you right now for a three album contract.

I'm sorry about everything.

I'm sorry about me.

I'm sorry I cared. I don't enjoy all this, Scott. In fact, I'm sick of it.

I'm sorry it had to end this way.

I'm sorry, but that's pathetic.

I'm sorry, I just assumed you were too cool to be here on time.

I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this.

I'm Stacey. Hey.

I'm stalking him later.

I'm talking to Ramona right now.

I'm tired of people getting hurt because of me.

I'm too cool for you anyway.

I'm too old for you.

I'm what's happening!

I've got beef. Let's do it.

I've kissed the lips that kissed you!

I've lived here forever, so there are reasons for you to hang out with me.

I've never been so sure about something.

I've never even kissed a guy.

If cool people started wearing our T shirt or whatever.

If Gideon can't have you, no one can.

If I can do that, we can do anything.

If I peed my pants, would you pretend I just got wet from the rain?

If I say yes, will you sign for your damn package?

If I strike out?

If it makes you feel better, you're the nicest guy I've dated.

If it's gonna be an issue though,

If my ex was in a band?

If she really is the girl of your dreams,

If we win, it won't just be Knives wearing Sex Bob Omb shirts.

If we're gonna date, you may have to defeat my seven evil exes.

If you don't, I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives.

If you knew the science, maybe I'd listen to a word you're saying.

If you want something bad, you have to fight for it.

In a thousand pieces, you slag!

In an attempt to make me break vegan edge.

In ninth grade. We had drama.

In the seventh grade.

In which case I do drugs all the time.

Indie producer of the millennium.

Is Gideon your boyfriend?

Is it wrong that I try not to think about it?

Is Ramona with you?

Is Scott here?

Is she gonna geek out on us?

Is that girl a boy, too?

Is that really important right now?

Is that seriously the end of the story?

Is that the Uma Thurman movie?

Is that why you left New York?

Is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass.

Is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass.

Is there a difference?

Is there a prize or something?

Is there anyone at this party that you haven't slept with?

Is there anywhere you don't work?

Is this a nightmare? Wake up, wake up, wake up!

Is walking the streets of Toronto again.

Is your girlfriend distracting you?

It is I, Matthew Patel.

It is kind of sad.

It is? Yeah.

It may live in infamy.

It meant nothing?

It meant nothing. I didn't think it would count.

It sounded like you did.

It was a mutual thing.

It was football season and for some reason,

It was high school. She had freckles.

It was just time to head somewhere a little more chilled.

It was pretty crazy.

It wasn't.

It would feel really weird for all of us if you weren't there.

It'll be the cool kids, too.

It'll probably be a bad scene all around.

It's "love," Scott. I wasn't trying to trick you.

It's a Catholic school, too.