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Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)

"Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" is a hilarious comedy film released in 1988. Directed by Frank Oz, it revolves around two con artists who compete to swindle an heiress out of her fortune. Starring the talented duo of Steve Martin and Michael Caine, their comedic chemistry lights up the screen. The movie is renowned for its clever dialogues and uproarious situations. Now, you can enjoy and download the sounds of this classic film right here.

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A man like Schauffhausen is in demand all over the world.

A poacher who shoots at rabbits may scare big game away.

A woman like Janet would never give herself to a man like you.

After all those letters, I feel that I know you.

Ah! I made it! I made it!

All I can say is "wow!"

All my life, I wanted to be the best at something.

All right, all right. How am I supposed to spend my money?

All right, everybody get on up to the house for a drink.

All right, Freddy, I'll bet. But I'm not competing to win.

All right, Freddy, suppose we try this.

All right. How much do you want?

All right. I could use $50,000.

All right. I'll do it.

All right. I'll make it easy for you. $50,000.

All right. We'll forget about the money, but the bet is still on.

All the social activity has gone to the Italian Riviera.

Am I attractive and exciting to you?

And a garden that, to me, looks like a big mowing headache.

And all because...

And an absolute magician at hiding a body.

And do you know what else?

And he's no longer satisfied with rabbits.

And here I am, bothering you with my problems.

And I am putting you on the first plane out of here.

And I could always call Lady Fanny of Omaha.

And I could have you arrested again.

And I think you are one terrific guy.

And I thought "What am I leaving this place for? I love me here!"

And I want you to be completely honest with me.

And I'll always have something from you that means much more!

And I'm making sure she gets as far away from you as possible.

And if they don't operate soon, she might...

And in the excitement... we got separated.

And not to playing Ruprecht the Monkey Boy all the time!

And now that he's cured...

And the first man to extract the correct amount from her wins.

And the rest is for me.

And then it hits me. Boom! Australia, are you kidding me?

And then they stopped...

And then what happened was I fell asleep,

And this time, I will make sure you are on it.

And we are going to live in Oklahoma.

And we decided that if we won, we'd get married.

And we got an opportunity to perform on TV, on Dance USA.

And we loved to dance.

And when I woke up, he was gone.

And when I woke up, he was gone.

And write to Dr. Schauffhausen.

And you majored in...?

And you will walk.

And, if he accepts charity from a woman, that is another blow.

Andre, come with me.

Any feeling there?

Any good psychiatrist would have known he was a charlatan.

Anyway, come on up to the house.

Are you Dr. Schauffhausen?

Arthur, this is Miss Colgate. She will be staying at the hotel.

As a matter of fact, I was dreadful.

As you put it, took me years to perfect.

At 0740 hours this morning in a white Ferrari.

At last we meet, Officer Benson.

Auf Wiedersehen. (laughs)

Autumn's coming.

Beaumont used to be lively,

Because I think I love you, too, Freddy.

Believe me, Freddy, I'm not afraid of you.

Boy, you can really get lost in one of these big places.

But he's always around.

But I am going to help my gram gram.

But I need your help for his therapy to be successful.

But I think that maybe I love him and that maybe he loves me, I think.

But I want you to know...

But if you lose, you not only leave town graciously,

But it's been taken over by older, retired couples.

But Officer Benson will be staying with us.

But otherwise, you have got to be joking.

But remember our agreement.

But remember what I said. No money for him.

But she's been quite ill lately... and the hospital bills have been adding up.

But what about your fee?

But you're not responsible. How could you have known?

But your 50,000 was the most fun.

But, Janet, we must hide our pity.

But... I still have this terrible fear.

Can't we just stay here a little bit longer? Please?

Captain? Which one of you is...

Chips O'Toole. Hotels and oil from down under.

Come back! Hey, hey, hey!

Come on, everybody. I want you to meet Mr. Big Stuff. (laughs)

Come on! She's keeping the mink.

Come on. Let go!

Come. In any case, it's cheaper than a malpractice suit,

Competition. You've been top dog here for so long,

Completely numb? No feeling whatsoever?

Could I just talk to you for a minute, right now?

Could you hand me that superglue solvent, please?

Could you take this to the guest bedroom and see everything is pressed?

Daddy says we're gonna have the biggest weddin' Tulsa's ever seen.

Deney Terrio, the host of Dance USA.

Diana and I are going to be married...

Did that really happen? I don't believe that!

Did you hear that, Freddy?

Didn't you say she was taken ill?

Do you expect me to believe that when she's returned the $50,000 I gave her?

Do you have any idea what it feels like to take a woman for 20 bucks?

Do you really think it's possible?

Do you really think you can get him to walk again?

Do you still have any situations available in Sydney?

Do you want the whole world to know?

Doctor Emil Schauffhausen in Liechtenstein.

Doctor, do you think that the therapy is working?

Don't say that word!

Don't take the cork off the fork.

Don't worry, Ruprecht. We won't go anywhere without you.

Don't you ever have an emotion that originates above the waist?

Done. Who's the woman?

Dr. Emil Schauffhausen!

Dr. Emil Schauffhausen!

Dr. Schauffhausen!

Driving relaxes Ruprecht.

Eminently corruptible and a willing infidel.

Est il possible...

Even my little change purse.

Exactly as you say!

Excuse me! Excuse me.

Excuse me! What about me? What do I get?

Excuse me. I'm very sorry, sir, but the man said it was urgent.

Excuse me. Is that man there truly royalty?

Excuse me. Is this the Portofino train?

Excuse me. May I sit here, please?

Excuse me. Where can I get the Wall Street Journal?

Extremely rich, very married,

Faites vos jeu—Ö, messieurs!

Fanny Eubanks of Omaha.

Fanny Eubanks? Of Omaha?

Fellas, last year I made $3 million.

First one to get 50,000 out of her.

First one to get her into bed.

First, I will show you the music room.

Forest Lawrenceton.

Forget everything that you have seen and heard.

Forget the very existence...

Forgot I had a first class ticket.

Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style

Freddy, as a younger man,

Freddy, get it into your head.

Freddy, I'm beginning to believe this man can really perform miracles.

Freddy, isn't this beautiful?

Freddy, stop, please!

Freddy, that is ridiculous!

Freddy, the women I deal with are carefully screened.

Freddy, we are going up to my room right now

Freddy! Freddy!

Freddy! I thought Dr. Schauffhausen took you home?

Freddy. Freddy!

Freddy. You still have so much to learn.

Freddy... would an operation help you?

Get out of that chair and dance with the girl!

Go ahead, Arthur.

Go and see for yourself. She's gone.

Go on up! Follow the path around the house.

God, are you kidding me with this gravel?

God! All right, what am I gonna do? How am I gonna get out of here?

Good evening, sir. Would you like to see the menu?

Goodbye, Freddy.

Has been working Western Europe."

Have a good flight.

Have a safe trip and a prosperous career.

Have the honor to admit it, Freddy. You've lost.

Have you seen enough, Mrs. Knudsen?

He called me Lady Fanny?

He fancied himself as a bit of a player.

He gets astronomical fees.

He goes "I wanna invest my 16 million bucks someplace new."

He goes "Why not?" I go "Why not?"

He has dropped from sight.

He loves to run and run and run.

He may seem strict, but he's just trying to help you.

He said you would recognize the secret password.

He says you can go... Ah ah ah!

He sounded like he was in trouble. Perhaps I can help.

He speaks of you with great affection.

He told me how you needed that money for your country,

He took all my money. My mink, my jewelry, my traveler's checks.

He's a confidence man. A trickster. Will Madame sign the complaint?

He's gonna drown himself!

He's got to have the rest of the money within 48 hours

He's very affectionate.

He's waiting outside.

Hello again! (laughs)

Hello there, my darlings. There you are!

Here comes a creep man... He's out to get you!

Here she is now.

Here we go! Ha ha haa!

Hey, I almost forgot somebody!

Hey, Lawrence, listen to this.

Hey, there's my clothes.

Hey, would you take care of my friend till I get back?

Hey! Encore, encore!

Hey! Hello! We made it. Could youse get the bags up here pronto?

High school diploma.

His name is James Jessenden.

His name is... James Josephson.

His name is... James... No.

Hold it, hold it, hold it! Excuse me, hold it!

How about... this?!

How the hell did you get off that plane?

How was your mission to Belahavula?

How'd you like your friend to be on it?

I am a Royal Navy Volunteer Reserve.

I am here to help you, my boy.

I am renting a villa in this area.

I am sorry, Janet, but if I see your friend Benson, I have to see everyone.

I am taking her to the airport in the morning.

I am taking him in gracefully in order to get him out gracefully.

I believe she is the United States Soap Queen.

I can tell you've got a lot to learn about women.

I can't believe this is really happening.

I can't take this. It doesn't belong to me.

I could fly home and mail him a check.

I could kick your ass off this hill in a New York minute.

I could use all the luck I can get.

I couldn't help overhearing your conversation in the dining car.

I couldn't help overhearing. If you're in trouble and I can help...

I didn't recognize you for the moment. How wonderful to see you.

I didn't steal $50,000 from her!

I don't feel good about taking your money.

I don't get it.

I don't know how to thank you.

I don't need these clothes or your instructions.

I don't want money. I want you to teach me. I'm in your hands.

I feel good about it.

I feel like a kept man.

I feel so proud.

I finally came to the frustrating conclusion

I give you my word, the case will be investigated in a very slipshod manner.

I had a great time.

I hate to disturb you while you're on vacation, doctor,

I have a plan for this Jackal.

I have a splendid day planned for Freddy.

I have a wonderful surprise for you.

I have another idea. It was love that put him in that chair.

I heard the music... and I pulled myself up the stairs.

I hope her health improves.

I just got word from the hospital that she's in pretty bad shape

I just seem to take what the Red Cross pays me

I just wanna do my share.

I kind of had it figured from the beginning.

I knew my limitations.

I know somebody here. I met him on a train. His name is...

I know this is difficult,

I know what you said, but I just had to see him again.

I like to let them know what time I'm arriving.

I love all these old musical instruments.

I mean, I never realized how far you could go with this scamming thing.

I must draw the line somewhere.

I needed a decoy. This idiot was sharing my compartment.

I never got on it.

I never knew that people like you existed.

I never make reservations.

I never take advantage of the poor or the virtuous.

I purchased them to make certain that they were cared for properly.

I really couldn't ask for a better prize than that.

I rescued this from certain destruction and donated it to the museum.

I run this operation and you do as I say.

I saw him shake your hand and pat you on the back.

I say "Where?" He goes "How about Australia?"

I say it's time for a change.

I say let them give us money. Let's live off them for a while.

I still wanna help.

I suppose I get pleasure from helping people like you out.

I tell 'em what they wanna hear if it gets me what I want.

I tell you, it is a mistake to take him in!

I think I should warn you that Ruprecht is, well, uh,

I think I'll just have some water.

I think my testicles are dropping!

I thought I was, till I met you.

I told you, I didn't steal any money from her! She gave it to me.

I told you, if you keep on doing it, you won't have any pots left.

I tried to please him, but how could I have known?

I wanna ask you a question,

I want you to phone Andre and tell him to find Officer Benson.

I was a sculptor, a painter and a musician.

I was at the train station, ticket in hand,

I was engaged to a girl back in the States.

I was showing Nikos property in Florida.

I was thinking about what Dr. Schauffhausen told me.

I will be there to help you.

I will have him running, jumping, shouting, screaming...

I will sit here...

I will take Officer Benson as a patient.

I wish I could make it lower, but the clinic would never allow that.

I wish you hadn't written these things about me.

I would love to, but my grandmother is there and she's expecting me.

I wouldn't dream of giving you your share without being certain

I wouldn't mind so much, but she used to be my girl.

I'd like to come upstairs, too.

I'd like you to meet the favorite son of Australia,

I'll be right back.

I'll be right up there.

I'll be shutting up part of the house.

I'll have a double turkey sandwich on white, fries, a large knockwurst,

I'll teach you and pay you a percentage.

I'll tell you what. We'll make a bet.

I'll try, Doctor, but it won't be easy.

I'm about to win the bet and she says "Close the d****s." I close the d****s.

I'm afraid you've been misinformed.

I'm beginning to believe it, too.

I'm beginning to think that he could walk.

I'm gettin' out of this town.

I'm going downstairs to mail this letter and I'll be right back.

I'm going it alone.

I'm going to get Dr. Schauffhausen.

I'm going to tell Andre to tear up the check.

I'm in charge. You do exactly as I say.

I'm just betting that you fail.

I'm on six weeks' MTL.

I'm out of control! Oh, my God! Oh!

I'm saving my money for something special.

I'm sorry about the delay in paying your fee.

I'm sorry I broke your VHS player. Give me the model number.

I'm sorry I was so depressed this morning.

I'm sorry, Fr√§u... What is your name?

I'm sorry. I don't even know you

I'm sure he'll be over here soon to gloat over his victory.

I'm sure there are a million women who would love to kiss you.

I'm thinner than you.

I'm trying to find out the stock prices to see how my takeover bid is going.

I'm younger than you. I'm better looking than you.

I've already caused the prince enough...

I've got culture coming out of my ass.

If a man loves you, he will follow you.

If he's in the papers, how clever can he be?

If I could just get her alone, I think I could have a chance.

If I do decide to take this case, you must pay the fee directly to me.

If I lose, I'll leave.

If I win... you leave.

If we take her for everything, she still ends up with a very nice mink.

If you come over here, I will prove that I love you.

If you really want to help,

If you think about it, it's obvious.

If you're ever in Cleveland, will you call me?

If you're trying to get out of it, fine. Then you lose and you leave town.

In the morning, I woke up and my legs were useless.

In the old days, people used to dance to this.

Is he the one who wrote me all those letters?

Is worth more to me than the car or the furniture or all the jewelry.

Isn't she wonderful?

It had already gotten here. I had it in my purse.

It has been so great to meet you, I...

It may be my money that's financing your mission.

It seems he has stolen some of Miss Colgate's property.

It seems the teacher has underestimated the student.

It sounds like you're trying to get out of the bet.

It took longer than I thought it would to raise the money.

It was a faux pas. Please forget it.

It was a great success, thanks to you.

It was all my savings, the prize money. Everything.

It will be $50,000.

It's a bluff to gain sympathy.

It's Andre, sir.

It's awful to see us like this, isn't it?

It's been a very good month, chaps.

It's just not something I can handle.

It's just that I felt so sorry for him.

It's just that that was my last chance.

It's kinda tough for me because I was never very good with money.

It's moments like this that make being a doctor worthwhile.

It's not for me. It's for my grandmother.

It's terribly difficult for me to reach the table.

It's true that is a sculpture of a naked woman, and I can appreciate that.

It's very difficult.

James Lawrence. Lawrence! Lawrence!

Janet, come on.

Janet, don't make me crawl around you. This sand is too hot.

Janet, I am dropping this case.

Janet, I am going to cover your losses.

Janet, I told you I'd waive my fee.

Janet, it's me, Freddy!

Janet, we haven't discussed my fee yet.

Janet. Janet! Janet!

Janet. What is the matter?

Just a bit. For his grandmother's operation.

Just as I thought.

Just one stroke of bad luck after another.

Just waiting for Your Highness.

Keep going! That's it, keep going!

Keep your eyes open, Andre. He'll turn up.

La... Lars. Lars!

Lawrence Fells. Lawrence Fings.

Lawrence Fells. Lawrence Jesterton.

Les jeu—Ö, messieurs.

Let me tell you something, Freddy. This is for certain.

Listen, Freddy. This time, she really is on that plane.

Listen, I gotta go. Take care. See ya.

Listen, I'm not a vagrant!

Listen, maybe I can help you.

Look what I did in the dining car! She gave me 100 francs.

Look, doctor, he's so happy, he's crying.

Madame, I am the police chief of Beaumont sur Mer.

Make sure she gets back all right, Andre.

Marion was perfect.

May I ask why she was necessary?

May I show you the villa? It has a fascinating history.

May I talk to you, please?

May the best man win.

Mental trauma leave.

Miss Trumble and I are going to be married.

Miss? Would you ask the gentleman if he could advance me a few dollars on this?

Monsieur Andre, would you see what you can get for this?

Monsieur Lawrence, you can afford to dismiss such amateurs.

Monsieur Police Inspector, can you arrange something for me?

Mr. Junior Partner. The man Chips can't do without.

Mrs. Reed, may I present Lady Janet. Lady Janet, this is Mrs. Reed.

Ms. Colgate was seen returning to the hotel.

My condolences to your grandmother.

My God, you're attractive.

My real parents... didn't want me.

Never mind, Nikos. People drop out, don't they?

Nikos. Nikos, get over here.

No sudden moves.

No, I know this chap. He'll want at least 5,000.

No, it's all gone, Paula.

No, thanks. I was doing great with my own look.

No, you're not, Freddy.

No! I just use their laundry detergent.

No. My problem isn't physical.

Non! Non, non, pas possible! Cr√©tin!

Not him. He hates me. He's trying to torture me.

Not to you telling me how to spend money,

Now I am really going to turn on the charm.

Now tell me, do you feel this?

Now that you're walking, do you think that you can... well...

Now, all these wines are very old.

Now, come along. Come along.

Now, first, intros.

Now, I want you to meet this nice lady.

Now, I will prepare myself for the Jackal.

Now, let's have a look at those legs, shall we?

Now, look here.

Now, stand up and walk to me.

Now, to business. Krista Knudsen.

Now, we've got 20% for the overhead.

Now, who is the one person in this world,

Now, you were saying. You don't think the poor should be allowed in museums?

Number one! Number one! Number one! Number one!

Of all the lousy...

Of course you would. Come on!

Oh, but your feelings will be returned,

Oh, God. You're doing it!

Oh, Lady Fanny of Omaha?

Oh, Lady Janet is one of us.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, no wonder they call you a genius!

Oh, no, please don't. I know I shouldn't have done it.

Oh, no, you can't! I paid the 100,000 francs in cash.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh, not long. But long enough. It is a disaster.

Oh, please don't be angry with me.

Oh, please don't feel that way.

Oh, take me from this place!

Oh, thank you, doctor.

Oh, this is my royal adjutant, General Benson.

Oh, yeah? And how do you plan on getting her to the airport

Oh, yes. And he can walk, just like the man said he could.

Oh, yes. I'm starving.

Oh, yes. Lady Fanny of Omaha.

Oh, Your Highness, I don't want money from a man

Oh. And for how long?

Oh. And what town is that?

Oh. Judge Reynoux.

Oi, guys! Have a look at this.

OK. Two more! Two more. How much is it?

Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma!

One of my former patients.

Only water? But you seemed so hungry.

Or he'll submit your name to Interpol and you'll never travel in Europe again.

Out of your league?

Out of your league?

Outside of your grandmother,

Pardon me, miss. Would you mind placing the bet for me?

Perhaps His Highness has mentioned me?

Perhaps love could get him out.

Perhaps the Jackal finally realizes he is no match for the lion, huh?

Perhaps we should go by ship.

Please don't be mad at me.

Please don't worry. You are close to my room.

Please see that my grandmother gets my insurance,

Please. I am on my vacation.

Please. You must tell me where he lives.

Pretend to enjoy yourself. Laugh out loud.

R√©n√© the Knife. He is a master with the stiletto,

Rather a shabby trick, isn't it?

Really starving.

Rien ne va plus!

Rien ne va plus. Termin√©.

Ruprecht loves the water.

Ruprecht, don't do that. Ruprecht, no!

Ruprecht, eat your apple sauce.

Ruprecht, it is I, your brother.

Ruprecht, we have wonderful news.

Ruprecht! You want the genital cuff?

Said he was going to do some hunting in my Beaumont sur Mer.

See that plane? There goes your bet.

Sept rouge, inpair et manque!

She caught me with another woman. You're French, you understand that!

She even took the 2,000 francs she gave me!

She filed this complaint against you.

She has a laugh that can make the birds sing.

She is at the roulette table,

She is conniving and she is dishonest!

She is disgusting!

She is lying! She is deceitful! She is two faced!

She is the one who taught me it is better to be truthful and good...

She left the Excelsior Hotel in Genoa

She should be arriving at approximately...

She was onto us from the very beginning.

She was perfect.

She's the blonde in the blue sequined dress.

Sir, Officer Benson is not in his room. I found this on the bed.

Sit down. Sit down.

So here we are.

So I had my father sell off the car and the furniture and all the jewelry.

So I went back to the studio...

So, "OK, I'll take a shower."

So, I'll be around a little bit more. Lucky you.

So, Nikos Papandropolous,

So, we went on and we danced, and we won!

Some of these sleepy towns really pay off.

Something a little more stringent.

Something about his fianc√©e running off with a, uh... dancer.

Something like this, OK? All right, here we go! Here we go!

Spending money is a responsibility, Freddy.

Stand up and walk to me. Please, Freddy, just try!

Steal her money? I didn't! She stole from me.

Still doesn't hurt to check it out.

Stop it, Ruprecht! Ruprecht!

Stop worrying, Andre.

Sure you are, and you should be.

Sure. What number would you like?

Tell me if you feel this.

Thank you, Arthur.

Thank you, Charles.

Thank you, Lawrence Jamieson.

Thank you, my old friend.

Thank you. But I cannot accept.

That Freddy will want to jump out of the wheelchair and join us.

That he pretended this whole thing just to get to me and my money.

That I could walk again if the desire was strong enough?

That I had taste and style, but not talent.

That is a lot of money.

That money was to go toward an operation for his grandmother!

That my remains are cremated and tossed over the Suwannee River."

That probably shocks a guy like you, right?

That you would like most to see at this moment?

That you would spend it wisely on beauty and culture.

That's almost $2,000.

That's fine, that's fine. Thank you, thank you.

That's fine. Thank you.

That's it. That's it.

That's like, uh... 20 bucks!

That's strange. There's a young man with her.

That's the one! And he's right here in the hotel.

The bet's off. She hasn't got the money.

The charge is a serious one and you are a vagrant, an unknown.

The ice is melting. Hurry, hurry.

The more he sees us dance, the more he will get used to it.

The season's over.

The way my luck's been running...

The whiz kid. Randy Bentwick.

Then I'm not going to leave you.

Then it's even more important for you to go away for a couple of weeks.

Then please help him! Please, please, please!

Then she says, "Would you mind taking a shower?"

There is a man who owes me a favor.

There simply isn't enough room for both of us to work Beaumont sur Mer.

There was just one problem.

There's a little town there, supposed to be crawling with rich women.

There's a transport plane leaving for Honduras at one o'clock.

There's that smile!

There's this psychiatrist,

These could save the lives of many men.

These heels weren't made for this.

They are also too proud to accept charity.

They don't treat gigolos lightly in France.

They have been together in her room, with the curtains drawn.

They may be watching even as we...

They mean too much to me.

They would die rather than have their prince accept charity.

They're dancing. They're dancing!

They're wealthy and corrupt.

Think happy thoughts.

This case intrigues me, Janet.

This goes to me... which means it's time to go to Zurich.

This goes to you, Andre.

This goes to you, Arthur.

This is for the overhead.

This is incredible.

This is my point!

This music box. This is my favorite.

This one was about to die,

This! I want this!

Three bags of chips, a chocolate milk and two beers.

To be caught, that is American.

To be with another woman, that is French.

To fight the communists.

To prevent him hurting himself... and others.

Uh... Beaumont sur Mer.

Unfortunately, incurable.

Unfortunately, Randy is a mute.

Until 75 years ago, they were still castrating them.

Until Mrs. Everson's brooch paid for its preservation.

Voila, monsieur, 200 francs.

Wait. I did most of the work. I should get my share of the cash.

Watch yourself, Janet! Back a little bit.

We all have our limitations, Freddy.

We all love you.

We could've had a blast on the Riviera.

We find a woman, set a price,

We gotta go meet Mr. Australia himself!

We have a guest. What do we do for guests?

We made love and...

We must accept defeat graciously.

We must enjoy ourselves so much

We wanted to be professionals. Isn't that silly?

We will move him in, and I will really go to work on him.

We'll make her the bet.

We'll put some shrimps on the barbie for ya.

We're the weaker sex. Men don't live as long as women.

Welcome to hell.

Well, aren't you gonna say anything?

Well, good luck. Give my best to your grandmother.

Well, it's not everything. I'm keeping the mink. Is that wrong?

Well, she's not really my mother. Actually, she's my grandmother.

Well, shouldn't the Navy pay for your operation?

Well, the Jackal has finally tucked his tail between his legs and crawled away.

Well, things are going to be quiet around here now.

Well, you seem to be having a very nice time.

Well... good night.

Well... what do you mean?

Were commodities that people desired.

What am I gonna say to my father? Some of the money was his.

What an asshole I was telling you how to take women!

What are you doing here?

What crime? What is this guy talking about?

What did we do when Uncle Ted was here?

What do you mean by astronomical?

What do you mean?

What do you think I mean?

What else did he say?

What kind of a man would do something like that?

What makes you Americans think you can buy anyone at any price?

What sort of an education did you have?

What? What does it say?

When do you think she was onto us?

When do you think we can fly back?

When I come out, she's gone. My clothes, my wallet and my watch are gone.

When I'm settled, I'll send you a check.

When you're not looking, I will come down here, and I will do it right!

Where am I gonna get $50,000?

Where is the boy?

Wherever I go, Ruprecht goes, too.

Which I am sure you would win.

Who needs every penny to free his enslaved people.

Who was she with?

Why don't you go to him?

Why is the cork on the fork?

Widow of Lars Knudsen, the Danish match king.

Without Freddy Benson on you like glue? What are you doing?

Wo ha ha how! Wow!

Would you excuse me? I have to phone my wife and children.

Would you pick a number for me?

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, well, he did. I... couldn't sleep.

Yes, Freddy! You made it!

Yes, he told me the same thing.

Yes, I'll have to call my father.

Yes, I'm afraid I am a bit naive when it comes to the weaker sex.

Yes, it is. But we're getting off, right?

Yes! Yes! We're like this!

Yes. Actually, she's quite ill.

Yes. Now walk to me!

Yes. Still, you shouldn't have promised him the money.

You actually believe that?

You agreed to do what I say.

You and I must be his role model.

You and your father will get your $50,000 back,

You are a moron.

You are a wonderful person. Thank you.

You are an attractive and exciting and sensitive man.

You are generous, sincere.

You are numb from the waist down?

You are the student, Freddy. You get knowledge.

You are... You are wonderful.

You barely know Freddy...

You can do it. Come on. Take a step!

You can trust me, I won't tell.

You do what I tell you, and you can keep the fee.

You have done a wonderful thing.

You heard that awful story about his girlfriend and the dancer.

You idiot! You let her go!

You know, I was selected as the United States Soap Queen.

You know, I'm pretty good at sizing people up,

You know, that's a funny story.

You leave that to me, Freddy. When the time comes, I promise, you'll have it.

You may not believe this, but I haven't had very much experience.

You must understand. I have powerful enemies.

You promise never to come back to Beaumont sur Mer again.

You said he'd come here tonight and he did!

You said that he would walk and he did!

You saw him. He was next to you at the roulette table.

You see, His Highness has been a widower for five years.

You see, I entered their contest and then I won.

You see, I... I thought I was in love with him.

You slept with her, but you didn't have to steal her money.

You taught me what you know. Great. Thanks. Thanks a yahoo.

You think you got me. This is just the beginning.

You think you own the place. Nice!

You wanna refresh those cocktails, don't you?

You want me to spend my money on wine you can't drink,

You won't be feeling Mr. Piggy, then, will you?

You're financing my mission?

You're welcome.

You're wonderful.

You've already risked too much just in speaking to me.

You've been banging on your pots again, haven't you?

You've been trying to get me out of this town ever since I came here.

Your father doesn't own the United States Soap Company?

Your grandmother is living in Portofino?

Your Highness, don't be alarmed. I can be trusted.

Your Highness. Your accent.

Your Highness...

Your phone call did not give me much time.

5,000? I don't have 5,000!

5,000? I don't have 5,000!

(Freddy) Excuse me. Excuse me! (woman gasps)

(Lawrence) Miss Colgate! Ohh!

(lively music) Hey, look who's here!

(woman gasps) (Freddy) Oh, I'm sorry.

(woman) Ohh! (Freddy) Sorry, ma'am. Excuse me!

(woman) Ooh! (clattering)

All right. I will. Thank you.

All right. I'll see him. That's wonderful!

And you are? Fanny Eubanks.

And you are? Lawrence Jamieson.

And you can't harm her again. You let her go? You gotta stop her!

Are you lying down? What?

Are you one of my subjects? No. I'm an American.

Are you sure? Yes. Come, come.

Au revoir, Lawrence. Au revoir, Andre.

Au revoir, Lawrence. Au revoir, Andre.

Auf Wiedersehen. Uh, what?

Benson. Benson. In the wheelchair?

But couldn't I just call Freddy? No. Trust me in this matter.

But he can't! Yes, he can. It's all in his mind.

But how do I know... Trust me this one last time.

But I took her to the plane. Then somebody took her off.

But if it's a matter of money, I... You haven't given him any money?

But she has the money. Only by selling everything she owns.

Can you get it? I have it at home.

Charles! Yes, monsieur?

Classes begin after lunch. (Freddy laughs)

Do you have any money? Yeah, I got about 12... 900 dollars.

Do you wanna rest? No, no, I wanna keep trying.

Don't give him any more money. Why?

Don't you wanna kiss me? Yeah!

Eat your food. Excuse me.

Excuse me. (croupier) Monsieur wins again.

For you, Arthur, it's 10%. Thank you, sir.

Freddy, are you OK? Oh, God.

Give this man whatever he wants. I can't let you buy me a meal!

Go on, Diana. You were saying. Well, I think that... Ow!

Good luck, Freddy. No, you can't go. You gotta help me.

Good night, Freddy. I'll be right back.

Great guy! Bye.

Great! But with this one understanding.

Great. You can give me lift. Do you have a hotel room?

Has he left? Yes. Just a moment ago.

He can't believe it's really you! Yes, I think that's it.

Hello, Andre. What a lovely morning. Monsieur Jamieson?

Hello, mate. Hello.

Here? By the bed!

Here. What are you doing?

How did that make you feel? It made me physically sick.

How do you do? Charmed.

How do you do? Hello.

How far up is Portofino? (woman) Portofino?

I can't take your money. You can, and you will. Take it.

I couldn't walk. Oh, my God.

I feel it only fair to warn you... I know he has powerful enemies.

I give up! Who? Dr. Emil Schauffhausen!

I got some money here. (Freddy) Oh, no. I wouldn't accept it.

I got time. Why should I help you?

I know the moves! Yes, you're ready.

I see you know His Highness. Who?

I will not take them. (woman) Please. Please!

I... I'm still afraid. Oh, don't be afraid.

I'm gonna pay you back, though. No!

I'm traveling incognito. Oh, I see.

If you like. Thank you.

Inspecteur, qui est le juge? (chuckles) Reynoux.

Inspecteur! Oui?

Is that correct? Yes, sir.

Isn't this beautiful? Mm.

It makes my work so much harder. Does that mean you'll see him?

It seems so cruel. Trust me. I'm a doctor.

It's emotional. Really?

Janet Colgate. Janet. Oh.

Lawrence Jamieson? Yes!

Let me show you the rest of the villa. OK.

Listen. (plays tune)

Louder. (laughs)

May I go to the bathroom first? Of course you may.

May I say something here? Of course.

Me either. Could you close the d****s?

Metal shop. Metal shop.

My mother. Your mother?

Nikos, come here! All right, Paula.

No, Madame. But you called him "Your Highness."

No! Come on! You can do it!

No! Come on! You can do it!

Not Mother? No, Ruprecht. She's not our mother.

Not Mother? No. But I have wonderful news.

Not the royal ring, Your Highness? Shh!

Nothing. Nothing, hm?

Now he can't see us. (Freddy wails)

Numb. Oh, my God.

Of Omaha? You don't have to cover up with me.

Oh, God! They're dancing! Ssh ssh ssh.

Oh, I'm so sorry. No!

Oh, I'm sorry. But my grandmother is wonderful.

OK, how much? She's a little young, isn't she?

Older, retired couples? (Lawrence chuckles)

Older, retired couples? Are you sure? Yes, I live there.

Please, I insist. I insist. I'm gonna pay you back.

Pretty soon, the whole group goes... (all) "Why not?"

Protector of the Veld. What a pleasant surprise.

Ruprecht! May I take your trident, sir?

So you got a lot of wine to drink. You can't. They're far too valuable.

So you sell them? I'd never sell them.

Surely he was no match for you? You can't be too careful, Andre.

Thank you, Your Highness. I will telephone you.

Thanks, mate. All right.

That bother you? No.

That is so sweet. She was the first girl I ever kissed.

That piece of shit! What do you reckon?

That's right. Mm hm.

The prince. The prince?

Then just stop where you are. And then what?

There were six sailors in that truck. Seven sailors, Freddy.

They really got you on a leash. Afraid so.

This is private property, you know. Just see the captain in the back.

This is terrible. No pity.

Waiter! What are you doing?

We'll think up a new bet. All right. What is the bet?

We're getting off, right? Uh...

Well done! I look great, don't I?

Well, Freddy, it's over. What's over?

Well, if you think that it would help. Yes, I think it would help.

Well, surely someone can help you? Oh, yeah. There is, but...

What $50,000? The $50,000 you stole from her.

What about Freddy? Freddy, go to your room.

What cash prize? From the contest.

What do they do now? Well, that depends who the judge is.

What do you want? This!

What do you want? You're blocking my gate.

What fear? That my feelings won't be returned.

What happened? Well...

What man? The courier, sir.

What? Cover your eyes.

What? I went back to see him and...

What? I went back to see him and...

What? It's too bad.

What's he doin' out here? His quarters are here.

What's the angle? There is no angle, Freddy.

When do I meet him? He's in his room, even as we speak.

Where's Freddy? The Jackal is with Miss Colgate now.

Who is that? Miss Janet Colgate, monsieur.

Who's the asshole? "Get up and dance" he says.

Will you be all right? Oh, yeah. She said she'd meet me here.

Will you tell Freddy I said goodbye? Of course.

Would you like to meet him right now? I would love to.

Yes, Fr√§ulein. What a coincidence! This is a miracle!

Yes, I am terribly pleased. (laughs) Good!

You actually love me? Mm hm.

You are a nut! Go on.

You can't be serious. Larry...

You change planes in Paris. OK.

You have a brother? Yes, the young prince.

You have a ride into town? Yes, I have.

You know what? I think you're scared. Of what?

You make me sound like a hero. They're true, aren't they?

You understand? Absolutely.

You will sit here. Thank you.

You won't disappoint me? No, I won't disappoint you.

You won't let me down? No, I won't let you down!

You'll prove it? Come on. Come on.

You're headed for the Riviera? Yeah.

You're married, aren't you? You can tell?

You've opened my eyes! Freddy, this "scamming" thing,

Your High... Let's have lunch, Mrs. Reed.

Your last chance for what? My last chance for an operation.

...and Freddy will sit there.

...and I think I could walk again if I thought you loved me, too.

...and just sit and touch her face, like this.

...and there they were...

...and they made love, right there on the dance floor.

...and we are all going to live in Palm Beach.

...his ego has taken one shattering blow from a woman.

...how I used to stare at her...

...I think you're the only person in the world who can give me that desire.

...of that brilliant, extraordinary man...

...of your... love.

...that you have saved the life of a wonderful person.

‚ô?Da da da da da

‚ô?Da da da da da da

‚ô?Da da da da da da daa!

‚ô?I love to love you in the night...

"A clever, young American con artist, nicknamed The Jackal,

"Close the door." So I close the door.

"Hello, boys. It was fun."

"I'll miss you. Love, Janet. The Jackal."

"I've lost hope.

"J," Janet. "J," Jackal.

("Prince") Fanny... the Freedom Fighters thank you.

(Arthur) Excuse me, sir. The man is here with your satellite dish.

(Australian accent) G'day, Nikos.

(chuckles) Thank you.

(croupier) Faites vos jeu—Ö!

(croupier) I'm sorry, I cannot, monsieur.

(doorbell rings)

(Fanny) Please, Your Highness.

(Freddy chants)

(Freddy whimpers)

(Freddy whimpers)

(Freddy whoops)

(Freddy) I was on that wall for six hours.

(Freddy) Oh, Miss! Miss!

(Freddy) So, uh... what are you gonna do now?

(Freddy) Well, thanks for letting me stay the extra week.

(Janet giggles)

(Janet) Freddy!

(Janet) Freddy!

(Janet) Freddy! Freddy!

(Lawrence chuckles)

(Lawrence sighs)

(Lawrence) Cuddly cuddly.

(Lawrence) From the beginning, Freddy.

(Lawrence) He's looking. Keep laughing.

(Lawrence) Mm hm!

(Lawrence) Nothing? Hmm.

(Lawrence) Our love, Freddy.

(Lawrence) What satellite dish?

(Lawrence) What would I want with a satellite dish?

(Lawrence) Would you like some strawberries?

(lively pop music)

(man) But... for the children.

(man) Even though I know they would mean freedom for many of my people,

(man) No, I cannot accept them.

(man) The men of my country are proud.

(man) The women of my country fight alongside the men.

(Mrs. Reed) Oh, please!

(music slows down)

(slurps and gulps)

(tires screech)

(whispers) How are the Freedom Fighters?

(whistles tune)

(woman) But think of what these could do for your cause.

(woman) I would like to help your grandmother.

(woman) Then consider the lives of the children.

(woman) Then think of the lives of the women, the mothers...

(woman) Wait a minute, everybody. Wait a minute! Can you hang on?

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)
"Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" is a hilarious comedy film released in 1988. Directed by Frank Oz, it revolves around two con artists who compete to swindle an heiress out of her fortune. Starring the talented duo of Steve Martin and Michael Caine, their comedic chemistry lights up the screen. The movie is renowned for its clever dialogues and uproarious situations. Now, you can enjoy and download the sounds of this classic film right here.
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