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How to Get Ahead in Advertising (1989) Fantasy How to Get Ahead in Advertising is a dark, satirical fantasy film released

How to Get Ahead in Advertising (1989) Fantasy

How to Get Ahead in Advertising is a dark, satirical fantasy film released in 1989, directed by Bruce Robinson. The movie follows the story of advertising executive Denis Dimbleby Bagley, brilliantly portrayed by Richard E. Grant. Frustrated with his profession, Bagley develops a gigantic talking pimple on his shoulder, which takes on a life of its own, becoming a separate entity with a dominating personality. As Bagley's sanity unravels, he finds himself engaged in an existential battle with his own creation.

Indulge in the imaginative world of this thought-provoking film, depicted through its brilliant cast and the mesmerizing performances by Richard E. Grant and Rachel Ward. If you are intrigued by satirical fantasies that push the boundaries of reality, this is a must-see. Immerse yourself in the mind-bending soundscape of How to Get Ahead in Advertising (1989), available for play and download here.
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A big boil. I believe it's justice.
A big boil. I believe it's justice.
A bowler hat, levitating in shock,
A bowler hat, levitating in shock,
A horrid looking boil, spouting from your neck.
A horrid looking boil, spouting from your neck.
A joke. Just a joke.
A joke. Just a joke.
A pot of soup would be for the few.
A pot of soup would be for the few.
A thriller.
A thriller.
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Aah!
Aah! Ah!
Aah! Ah!
Aah! Have a look at it!
Aah! Have a look at it!
Aah! Mmm!
Aah! Mmm!
About as likely as the tits spread with peanut butter.
About as likely as the tits spread with peanut butter.
Advertising conspires with Big Brother.
Advertising conspires with Big Brother.
Agitated it, insulted it.
Agitated it, insulted it.
All I've done is re edit them, re voice them and put in the truth.
All I've done is re edit them, re voice them and put in the truth.
All other products, especially those contaminated with advertising,
All other products, especially those contaminated with advertising,
All right, I'll get you one, but on one condition.
All right, I'll get you one, but on one condition.
All right, me. It was me. But I was ill.
All right, me. It was me. But I was ill.
All right, tell him this afternoon. Four o'clock this afternoon.
All right, tell him this afternoon. Four o'clock this afternoon.
All right, then, what about a large turnip?
All right, then, what about a large turnip?
All right, then. The boil.
All right, then. The boil.
All their defences faced the wrong way.
All their defences faced the wrong way.
And a little town called Aqaba.
And a little town called Aqaba.
And although I'm aware of the difficulties of coming to terms with this,
And although I'm aware of the difficulties of coming to terms with this,
And as soon as you've had a proper rest, it'll go away.
And as soon as you've had a proper rest, it'll go away.
And because we have her on a diet,
And because we have her on a diet,
And believe me, you're going to have a monster on top of you.
And believe me, you're going to have a monster on top of you.
And by Christ, Bagley, did I sell some radiators.
And by Christ, Bagley, did I sell some radiators.
And everything from a nosh pot to a white sliced
And everything from a nosh pot to a white sliced
And everything that is vile with this profession.
And everything that is vile with this profession.
And for making our anniversary so special.
And for making our anniversary so special.
And fucks no more than 4.2 times a month.
And fucks no more than 4.2 times a month.
And get me a couple of dispatch boys. I need some equipment moved.
And get me a couple of dispatch boys. I need some equipment moved.
And I can tell you, a pusher protects his pitch.
And I can tell you, a pusher protects his pitch.
And I know everything there is to know about advertising.
And I know everything there is to know about advertising.
And I think you are a vegan who eats meat in secret.
And I think you are a vegan who eats meat in secret.
And I'll tell you something else. I didn't burst into flames, either.
And I'll tell you something else. I didn't burst into flames, either.
And I'm not talking about atom bombs, darling.
And I'm not talking about atom bombs, darling.
And if it hasn't got a price tag, it isn't worth having.
And if it hasn't got a price tag, it isn't worth having.
And if it isn't, it must be high in something else.
And if it isn't, it must be high in something else.
And if it speaks again, we'll ignore it, won't we?
And if it speaks again, we'll ignore it, won't we?
And in this case, I most certainly do not.
And in this case, I most certainly do not.
And it adheres to only one rule.
And it adheres to only one rule.
And it said it with this horrible sort of mouth.
And it said it with this horrible sort of mouth.
And it's a plaque depicting a Marine shoving his bayonet into a Chinaman's guts.
And it's a plaque depicting a Marine shoving his bayonet into a Chinaman's guts.
And let me tell you something, boil.
And let me tell you something, boil.
And more than anything, people love their cars.
And more than anything, people love their cars.
And most of all, I'd like to thank Julia for organising it all
And most of all, I'd like to thank Julia for organising it all
And people with names like Barbara Simmons.
And people with names like Barbara Simmons.
And please put that cigarette out. That's three in ten minutes.
And please put that cigarette out. That's three in ten minutes.
And prepare yourself for another little fluctuation of blood pressure,
And prepare yourself for another little fluctuation of blood pressure,
And second, I burnt it.
And second, I burnt it.
And secondly, we must reduce your punishing conscience
And secondly, we must reduce your punishing conscience
And she deserves them.
And she deserves them.
And she does.
And she does.
And tell me what you see.
And tell me what you see.
And telling you what to do?
And telling you what to do?
And that is its health giving ingredient we will sell.
And that is its health giving ingredient we will sell.
And that is that I could be awake to see you lanced.
And that is that I could be awake to see you lanced.
And that is what's worrying Best Co,
And that is what's worrying Best Co,
And that's how I want to sell this pimple cream.
And that's how I want to sell this pimple cream.
And that's the difference between you and me, boil.
And that's the difference between you and me, boil.
And the instant she does, the guilt cuts in.
And the instant she does, the guilt cuts in.
And the rags go along with it because they adore the dough from the ads.
And the rags go along with it because they adore the dough from the ads.
And they're conducting a crime wave of unprecedented ferocity.
And they're conducting a crime wave of unprecedented ferocity.
And this is its poisonous mouthpiece.
And this is its poisonous mouthpiece.
And this is its poisonous mouthpiece.
And this is its poisonous mouthpiece.
And underneath, "West London Campaign, 1898."
And underneath, "West London Campaign, 1898."
And what it is, is Lawrence of Arabia
And what it is, is Lawrence of Arabia
And whee!
And whee!
And when I've done it, I intend to make it my life's work to encourage others to do it.
And when I've done it, I intend to make it my life's work to encourage others to do it.
And you are unable to accept the guilt for what you feel you've done.
And you are unable to accept the guilt for what you feel you've done.
And you can judge my madness for yourself.
And you can judge my madness for yourself.
And you'd better keep a record of what the boil says.
And you'd better keep a record of what the boil says.
And you'd better keep a record of what the boil says.
And you'd better keep a record of what the boil says.
And you're afraid of Big Brother?
And you're afraid of Big Brother?
And you're perfectly at liberty to hate me for it.
And you're perfectly at liberty to hate me for it.
And, painful though it is for me,
And, painful though it is for me,
And, uh, how long have you been married?
And, uh, how long have you been married?
And, under the circumstances, I'm surprised you get to sleep at all.
And, under the circumstances, I'm surprised you get to sleep at all.
Any other part of the human body, I'll sell it something.
Any other part of the human body, I'll sell it something.
Anyone but you and they would.
Anyone but you and they would.
Anyway, what's all this got to do with me?
Anyway, what's all this got to do with me?
Anyway. That's not actually what I wanted to talk about.
Anyway. That's not actually what I wanted to talk about.
Anywhere you want to look, they're at it.
Anywhere you want to look, they're at it.
Apart from 15 calls a day wondering where the fuck it is, they couldn't be happier.
Apart from 15 calls a day wondering where the fuck it is, they couldn't be happier.
Appears to be getting worried about its health.
Appears to be getting worried about its health.
Are not interested in selling wholesome foods.
Are not interested in selling wholesome foods.
Are you all right, darling?
Are you all right, darling?
Are you having an affair, Julia?
Are you having an affair, Julia?
Are you there, Julia?
Are you there, Julia?
Are you there?
Are you there?
Are you there? I pray you're there.
Are you there? I pray you're there.
As any kind of acceptable alternative.
As any kind of acceptable alternative.
As far as I know, they were completely normal.
As far as I know, they were completely normal.
As far as I was concerned, I'd given myself a detonator.
As far as I was concerned, I'd given myself a detonator.
At least, a part of you.
At least, a part of you.
At least, what he says it says.
At least, what he says it says.
BAGLEY: Help! Help! Help! Help!
BAGLEY: Help! Help! Help! Help!
BAGLEY: I don't want to go back in there.
BAGLEY: I don't want to go back in there.
BAGLEY: I love you. I love you desperately.
BAGLEY: I love you. I love you desperately.
BAGLEY: Julia! Julia!
BAGLEY: Julia! Julia!
BAGLEY: Julia. Please don't scream or pull away.
BAGLEY: Julia. Please don't scream or pull away.
BAGLEY: No! No! It's the boil! Aah!
BAGLEY: No! No! It's the boil! Aah!
BAGLEY: Not for nothing, cos she's free.
BAGLEY: Not for nothing, cos she's free.
BAGLEY: Oh, Julia. Julia, darling.
BAGLEY: Oh, Julia. Julia, darling.
BAGLEY: Or a pork pie.
BAGLEY: Or a pork pie.
BAGLEY: The world is in danger, Julia.
BAGLEY: The world is in danger, Julia.
BAGLEY: What do they want another pimple cream for?
BAGLEY: What do they want another pimple cream for?
BAGLEY: Why don't you shut your trap, you cynical old anus?
BAGLEY: Why don't you shut your trap, you cynical old anus?
BAGLEY: You're talking to the wrong head!
BAGLEY: You're talking to the wrong head!
Barbiturate. They gave you a whopping dose.
Barbiturate. They gave you a whopping dose.
Bathe it in warm water again.
Bathe it in warm water again.
Because anyone existing on 1,200 calories
Because anyone existing on 1,200 calories
Because Best Co wants to go on selling them what it always has,
Because Best Co wants to go on selling them what it always has,
Because I have eradicated the pimple cream from my life.
Because I have eradicated the pimple cream from my life.
Because I know you have.
Because I know you have.
Because I'm all too aware of the tension you've been trying to conceal.
Because I'm all too aware of the tension you've been trying to conceal.
Because I'm the man who's taken the stench out of everything but shit.
Because I'm the man who's taken the stench out of everything but shit.
Because it's all they've got.
Because it's all they've got.
Because it's written up in the kitchen.
Because it's written up in the kitchen.
Because this poor, sick creature with a box on his head was me.
Because this poor, sick creature with a box on his head was me.
Because you're frightened of what you might see?
Because you're frightened of what you might see?
Best Company Supermarkets
Best Company Supermarkets
BLUE BIRD: All we gotta do is tell him to throw a rock through their window.
BLUE BIRD: All we gotta do is tell him to throw a rock through their window.
Boeuf bourguignon.
Boeuf bourguignon.
Boil busters. The boil busters.
Boil busters. The boil busters.
BOIL: Ask Barbara Simmons. He'd fuck her as well.
BOIL: Ask Barbara Simmons. He'd fuck her as well.
BOIL: Bollocks!
BOIL: Bollocks!
BOIL: Breath. For many, the unmentionable.
BOIL: Breath. For many, the unmentionable.
BOIL: I had a nasty feeling I was going to have to wake up to this.
BOIL: I had a nasty feeling I was going to have to wake up to this.
BOIL: I might be a shanker, but my word is my bond.
BOIL: I might be a shanker, but my word is my bond.
BOIL: Mmm. Smells good.
BOIL: Mmm. Smells good.
BOIL: Oh, dear, oh, dear.
BOIL: Oh, dear, oh, dear.
BOIL: Put an end to the misery of dentures. You could smile again with confidence.
BOIL: Put an end to the misery of dentures. You could smile again with confidence.
BOIL: Shall I tell you why people buy hydrogen bombs?
BOIL: Shall I tell you why people buy hydrogen bombs?
BOIL: Suit yourself. Suit yourself. Suit yourself.
BOIL: Suit yourself. Suit yourself. Suit yourself.
BOIL: Who are you talking to, then?
BOIL: Who are you talking to, then?
BOIL: You should have had the fish fingers.
BOIL: You should have had the fish fingers.
Boil!
Boil!
Boil!
Boil!
Boil.
Boil.
Boils don't have ears! Boils don't have mouths that smile!
Boils don't have ears! Boils don't have mouths that smile!
BOTH: Destruction of the rainforests by, amongst other things, hamburgers,
BOTH: Destruction of the rainforests by, amongst other things, hamburgers,
Breath and false teeth and things.
Breath and false teeth and things.
But he just had his stitches out, so naturally, we're a bit apprehensive.
But he just had his stitches out, so naturally, we're a bit apprehensive.
But he's just exhausted. He's not really mad, is he?
But he's just exhausted. He's not really mad, is he?
But honestly, I assure you of its necessity.
But honestly, I assure you of its necessity.
But I got myself into some trouble with a gas fired heating system.
But I got myself into some trouble with a gas fired heating system.
But I had this terrible, terrible dream, Penny, a nightmare,
But I had this terrible, terrible dream, Penny, a nightmare,
But I never know what it's going to say next.
But I never know what it's going to say next.
But I'd say you had the mark.
But I'd say you had the mark.
But I'm going to argue about it. I'm going to shout about it!
But I'm going to argue about it. I'm going to shout about it!
But I've gotta warn you, at first it might sound ridiculous.
But I've gotta warn you, at first it might sound ridiculous.
But if anybody touches on anything real, it's irrational?
But if anybody touches on anything real, it's irrational?
But if I was you, I'd have an early night.
But if I was you, I'd have an early night.
But in a minute, I'll show you my film
But in a minute, I'll show you my film
But it is us who watch it. There's one in every living room.
But it is us who watch it. There's one in every living room.
But it was a lot more than that to me.
But it was a lot more than that to me.
But it's impossible. You've seen.
But it's impossible. You've seen.
But Mr Bristol's on the line again.
But Mr Bristol's on the line again.
But Penny is our guest and I'd like you to apologise.
But Penny is our guest and I'd like you to apologise.
But the chances are 100 to one certain that it didn't.
But the chances are 100 to one certain that it didn't.
But the man who sat here refused to accept my resignation.
But the man who sat here refused to accept my resignation.
But the one thing I'm not, darling, is insane.
But the one thing I'm not, darling, is insane.
But then I suddenly thought of a pork pie.
But then I suddenly thought of a pork pie.
But there's a perfectly reasonable explanation,
But there's a perfectly reasonable explanation,
But these boys would be full time into real estate
But these boys would be full time into real estate
But we're not blind, we've got our eyes open.
But we're not blind, we've got our eyes open.
But worst of all, there'd be no more cars.
But worst of all, there'd be no more cars.
But worst of all, there'd be no more cars.
But worst of all, there'd be no more cars.
But you've created a symbol of foul mouthed authority instead.
But you've created a symbol of foul mouthed authority instead.
But, unfortunately, it's all we've got.
But, unfortunately, it's all we've got.
By Christ, they're entitled to them.
By Christ, they're entitled to them.
By God, I will!
By God, I will!
By refusing to allow it to hide.
By refusing to allow it to hide.
Can anyone think of a discreet way of changing the subject?
Can anyone think of a discreet way of changing the subject?
Can come up with a name like Barbara Simmons?
Can come up with a name like Barbara Simmons?
Can we diarise on that?
Can we diarise on that?
Can you handle a Monday pitch? It's a quickie. You'd have to go in dry.
Can you handle a Monday pitch? It's a quickie. You'd have to go in dry.
Can you hear me, boil?
Can you hear me, boil?
Can you speak?
Can you speak?
Certainly. Everything I do is rational.
Certainly. Everything I do is rational.
Chewing gum would probably disappear. So would pork pies.
Chewing gum would probably disappear. So would pork pies.
Chewing the ends off pencils, smoking myself daft.
Chewing the ends off pencils, smoking myself daft.
Clearly, we are looking for a label.
Clearly, we are looking for a label.
Cointreau, anyone?
Cointreau, anyone?
Come along. We'll go and look at it together.
Come along. We'll go and look at it together.
Come and lie down.
Come and lie down.
Come on, Dennis. I'm not gonna hurt you.
Come on, Dennis. I'm not gonna hurt you.
Come on, race! (GIGGLES)
Come on, race! (GIGGLES)
Come on. He needs some help.
Come on. He needs some help.
Come on. Let's sit you up straight.
Come on. Let's sit you up straight.
Coming up to bed, darling?
Coming up to bed, darling?
Compared to this, piles were a birthday present.
Compared to this, piles were a birthday present.
Constantly! I've got a talking boil on my neck!
Constantly! I've got a talking boil on my neck!
Cos I tell you, Bristol, any night now,
Cos I tell you, Bristol, any night now,
Cos if you went up, it would save me a job.
Cos if you went up, it would save me a job.
Cos it's not the only thing I've burnt.
Cos it's not the only thing I've burnt.
Create a crime wave and up will pop some perfectly plausible head selling police.
Create a crime wave and up will pop some perfectly plausible head selling police.
Cut your throat, monster.
Cut your throat, monster.
Darling, can't you see what you're doing this morning is equally out of control?
Darling, can't you see what you're doing this morning is equally out of control?
Darling, I know you're having a very difficult time at the moment,
Darling, I know you're having a very difficult time at the moment,
Darling, it is not the boil.
Darling, it is not the boil.
Darling, Penny is our guest.
Darling, Penny is our guest.
Darling, why don't you forget it a minute? Take the afternoon off.
Darling, why don't you forget it a minute? Take the afternoon off.
Dennis doesn't even have a briefcase. He loathes them.
Dennis doesn't even have a briefcase. He loathes them.
Dennis, for goodness' sake, stop getting so paranoid.
Dennis, for goodness' sake, stop getting so paranoid.
Dennis, listen to me. You're under tremendous stress.
Dennis, listen to me. You're under tremendous stress.
Dennis's psychiatrist thinks it's a good idea to get him back into the swim.
Dennis's psychiatrist thinks it's a good idea to get him back into the swim.
Deserves a little treat.
Deserves a little treat.
Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Did he? Well, he's wrong.
Did he? Well, he's wrong.
Did she? Well, she shouldn't have.
Did she? Well, she shouldn't have.
Dignity? You're corruption.
Dignity? You're corruption.
Do it, then. Do it. Put me out of my misery.
Do it, then. Do it. Put me out of my misery.
Do you have trouble in getting an erection?
Do you have trouble in getting an erection?
Do you really think I don't understand?
Do you really think I don't understand?
Do you think I could have a pillow?
Do you think I could have a pillow?
Do you think I'm going mad, Julia?
Do you think I'm going mad, Julia?
Do you think women like filling their bodies with chemicals?
Do you think women like filling their bodies with chemicals?
Don't be too long, because I'm practically dead.
Don't be too long, because I'm practically dead.
Don't know yet. Right now we're stuck with "Filthy Harry's Final Solution".
Don't know yet. Right now we're stuck with "Filthy Harry's Final Solution".
Don't mind telling you, I was bored stiff.
Don't mind telling you, I was bored stiff.
Don't pretend you haven't noticed my cardboard box, Julia,
Don't pretend you haven't noticed my cardboard box, Julia,
Don't speak. Just listen. I'm desperate.
Don't speak. Just listen. I'm desperate.
Don't start getting emotional.
Don't start getting emotional.
Don't start the old irrational bollocks with me, Bristol!
Don't start the old irrational bollocks with me, Bristol!
Don't turn off, darling. 60 seconds and I'll be back.
Don't turn off, darling. 60 seconds and I'll be back.
Don't turn off, darling. 60 seconds, and I'll be back.
Don't turn off, darling. 60 seconds, and I'll be back.
Don't worry. We'll sort it out.
Don't worry. We'll sort it out.
Don't you think I haven't noticed?
Don't you think I haven't noticed?
Don't you think the way you reacted could be considered a little irrational?
Don't you think the way you reacted could be considered a little irrational?
Don't you worry, old man. You have a little sleep.
Don't you worry, old man. You have a little sleep.
Don't!
Don't!
Down the bed with a huge black rubber torch.
Down the bed with a huge black rubber torch.
Dr Gatty says you're simply paying the price of your creativity.
Dr Gatty says you're simply paying the price of your creativity.
Dr Gatty, please. Julia Bagley.
Dr Gatty, please. Julia Bagley.
Either a date or you give me some idea of what you're coming up with.
Either a date or you give me some idea of what you're coming up with.
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't eat. I can't move my arm.
Even if I wanted to, I couldn't eat. I can't move my arm.
Even if it says something that might be of relevance?
Even if it says something that might be of relevance?
Ever since Dennis came out of hospital,
Ever since Dennis came out of hospital,
Every time you say something, you turn away
Every time you say something, you turn away
Everything will be all right. You've had these sort of problems many times before.
Everything will be all right. You've had these sort of problems many times before.
Everything you've ever looked at was yours.
Everything you've ever looked at was yours.
Everything's assembled from my old ads.
Everything's assembled from my old ads.
Everything's under control. Please stay and enjoy the party.
Everything's under control. Please stay and enjoy the party.
Except I'm gonna do them better.
Except I'm gonna do them better.
Except in slow revolutions towards the crest of the next slag heap.
Except in slow revolutions towards the crest of the next slag heap.
Except tend me moustache, of course.
Except tend me moustache, of course.
Firstly, on a purely ideological basis,
Firstly, on a purely ideological basis,
Five minutes.
Five minutes.
Food would rot in its packets.
Food would rot in its packets.
Foot deodorisers would climax without hope of replacement.
Foot deodorisers would climax without hope of replacement.
Foot deodorisers would climax without hope of replacement.
Foot deodorisers would climax without hope of replacement.
For all I know, in a fortnight's time,
For all I know, in a fortnight's time,
For the moment, make sure he keeps taking the tablets every two hours.
For the moment, make sure he keeps taking the tablets every two hours.
Frozen kippers... Just hang on a second, Bagley.
Frozen kippers... Just hang on a second, Bagley.
Fuck me. What I wouldn't do for a cigarette.
Fuck me. What I wouldn't do for a cigarette.
Get Bristol on the line and tell him I'm coming in to see him now.
Get Bristol on the line and tell him I'm coming in to see him now.
Getting off at Thatchet won't help you. Getting off anywhere won't.
Getting off at Thatchet won't help you. Getting off anywhere won't.
Give me a bald head, and I'll sell it shampoo.
Give me a bald head, and I'll sell it shampoo.
God in heaven!
God in heaven!
God, how can you be so naive?
God, how can you be so naive?
God, it converses. I'm talking to it.
God, it converses. I'm talking to it.
Going along with someone is not the same as listening to a tirade of obscenity!
Going along with someone is not the same as listening to a tirade of obscenity!
Good God, this is a madman!
Good God, this is a madman!
Greed has installed its lackeys into the highest offices in this land,
Greed has installed its lackeys into the highest offices in this land,
Greed is abolishing the future.
Greed is abolishing the future.
Greed is abolishing the future.
Greed is abolishing the future.
Happy anniversary, darling.
Happy anniversary, darling.
Has the bastard been whispering to you? Bastard! Bastard!
Has the bastard been whispering to you? Bastard! Bastard!
Has the boil spoken this morning?
Has the boil spoken this morning?
Have they? I bought it in Marbella.
Have they? I bought it in Marbella.
Have you gone out of your mind?
Have you gone out of your mind?
He had an operation. Went weird in the bed department.
He had an operation. Went weird in the bed department.
He knows that, which is why he gets a good look in with the dying.
He knows that, which is why he gets a good look in with the dying.
He said it's an absolutely normal boil,
He said it's an absolutely normal boil,
He says he knows you're avoiding him and he says he insists on a time to see you.
He says he knows you're avoiding him and he says he insists on a time to see you.
He was overworked and nearly had a breakdown, but he's much better now.
He was overworked and nearly had a breakdown, but he's much better now.
He was under the covers. Said he'd lost something. Contact lens.
He was under the covers. Said he'd lost something. Contact lens.
He's absolutely sex mad.
He's absolutely sex mad.
He's been peculiar, sexually.
He's been peculiar, sexually.
He's obsessed with blackheads and fucking.
He's obsessed with blackheads and fucking.
He's so shocked, his pigtail's sticking up like an exclamation mark.
He's so shocked, his pigtail's sticking up like an exclamation mark.
Head...
Head...
Heh.
Heh.
Here, have 'em. I've given up.
Here, have 'em. I've given up.
Here, have another suck.
Here, have another suck.
How about a toast to Bagley and Julia?
How about a toast to Bagley and Julia?
How are we getting on with the pimple cream?
How are we getting on with the pimple cream?
How dare some snotty Marxist carbuncle presume to deny them it?
How dare some snotty Marxist carbuncle presume to deny them it?
How dare you! How...
How dare you! How...
How did you find out about my grandfather?
How did you find out about my grandfather?
How do you think he'd react to a suggestion of psychoanalysis, Julia?
How do you think he'd react to a suggestion of psychoanalysis, Julia?
How nice.
How nice.
How?
How?
How's the new book coming along, Penny?
How's the new book coming along, Penny?
How's the new book coming along, Penny?
How's the new book coming along, Penny?
I am, Julia. It's got nothing to do with me.
I am, Julia. It's got nothing to do with me.
I became obsessed with fears of spontaneous combustion.
I became obsessed with fears of spontaneous combustion.
I beg your pardon?
I beg your pardon?
I believe you was unconscious at the time.
I believe you was unconscious at the time.
I believe you were about to explain
I believe you were about to explain
I can hardly move my arms. I can hardly move anything.
I can hardly move my arms. I can hardly move anything.
I can't bear it any longer, Julia.
I can't bear it any longer, Julia.
I can't. I've been cancelling him all week. Why can't we cancel this dinner?
I can't. I've been cancelling him all week. Why can't we cancel this dinner?
I could sell you anything from a boil to a hydrogen bomb.
I could sell you anything from a boil to a hydrogen bomb.
I did not have a terrible time with piles.
I did not have a terrible time with piles.
I did not, I merely confirmed what the boil said.
I did not, I merely confirmed what the boil said.
I did. They're over the moon.
I did. They're over the moon.
I didn't dare wake up and ask
I didn't dare wake up and ask
I didn't know you'd invited Penny.
I didn't know you'd invited Penny.
I didn't really want to have this party. I thought we might be rushing it a bit.
I didn't really want to have this party. I thought we might be rushing it a bit.
I don't approve of its rejection. I can no longer tolerate it.
I don't approve of its rejection. I can no longer tolerate it.
I don't know why, but I can't. I'm running out of headaches.
I don't know why, but I can't. I'm running out of headaches.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know!
I don't know. I don't know!
I don't need to look at the market research.
I don't need to look at the market research.
I don't rush out and buy your latest makeup.
I don't rush out and buy your latest makeup.
I don't think that's a good idea.
I don't think that's a good idea.
I don't think we should do that.
I don't think we should do that.
I don't want to go too far into the details of what this might mean,
I don't want to go too far into the details of what this might mean,
I estimate that as the very minimum we need
I estimate that as the very minimum we need
I even bought a fire extinguisher.
I even bought a fire extinguisher.
I finally ended up at a specialist who told me I'd given myself an ulcer.
I finally ended up at a specialist who told me I'd given myself an ulcer.
I had absolutely nothing to do under there.
I had absolutely nothing to do under there.
I hardly see a pork pie's got anything to do with it.
I hardly see a pork pie's got anything to do with it.
I hardly see that I should be the one accused of being silly.
I hardly see that I should be the one accused of being silly.
I have a mind of my own. And I have a body of my own
I have a mind of my own. And I have a body of my own
I have bathed it in warm water again.
I have bathed it in warm water again.
I have discovered that brains are being laundered daily.
I have discovered that brains are being laundered daily.
I have found that out, but it shall be no more!
I have found that out, but it shall be no more!
I have to be very quiet.
I have to be very quiet.
I have to tell you, Julia,
I have to tell you, Julia,
I have. I'm not smoking it. I'm just holding it.
I have. I'm not smoking it. I'm just holding it.
I haven't got time to give lessons in advertising.
I haven't got time to give lessons in advertising.
I intended to burn it. It's only going to upset you.
I intended to burn it. It's only going to upset you.
I just sit there, hour after hour,
I just sit there, hour after hour,
I know everything about them. She's 37 years old.
I know everything about them. She's 37 years old.
I know exactly what I'm doing now.
I know exactly what I'm doing now.
I know exactly what I'm going to say.
I know exactly what I'm going to say.
I know it's going to be difficult, but I'll explain properly and you will understand.
I know it's going to be difficult, but I'll explain properly and you will understand.
I know this must be all sort of upsetting for you, darling,
I know this must be all sort of upsetting for you, darling,
I know.
I know.
I listened to you and all that Big Brother muck.
I listened to you and all that Big Brother muck.
I looked at it in the bathroom mirror, and it spoke to me!
I looked at it in the bathroom mirror, and it spoke to me!
I may have had a problem getting ahold of them,
I may have had a problem getting ahold of them,
I only want one. I don't smoke.
I only want one. I don't smoke.
I realise I've been very selfish.
I realise I've been very selfish.
I really don't want you to watch this, darling.
I really don't want you to watch this, darling.
I refuse to argue with a carbuncle.
I refuse to argue with a carbuncle.
I refuse to be rendered unconscious.
I refuse to be rendered unconscious.
I said, the bag may also have contained a pork pie.
I said, the bag may also have contained a pork pie.
I saw Harry yesterday. He said you were having problems with the pimple cream.
I saw Harry yesterday. He said you were having problems with the pimple cream.
I see the police have made another lightning raid.
I see the police have made another lightning raid.
I see. So one could say that it's, erm, the voice of authority?
I see. So one could say that it's, erm, the voice of authority?
I see. So one could say that it's, erm, the voice of authority?
I see. So one could say that it's, erm, the voice of authority?
I shall not cease
I shall not cease
I slept with a bucketful by the bed.
I slept with a bucketful by the bed.
I suppose she does it out of some sort of social duty,
I suppose she does it out of some sort of social duty,
I tell you, I was desperate. I made myself ill with worry.
I tell you, I was desperate. I made myself ill with worry.
I tell you, Julia, I'm out of my mind.
I tell you, Julia, I'm out of my mind.
I tell you, Penny, I'm still waiting to scream about it.
I tell you, Penny, I'm still waiting to scream about it.
I think you're contemptible.
I think you're contemptible.
I think you're probably right. Not now, Sheila.
I think you're probably right. Not now, Sheila.
I thought by letting you discover the film for yourself,
I thought by letting you discover the film for yourself,
I thought I was seconds away from bursting into flames.
I thought I was seconds away from bursting into flames.
I thought you were dead.
I thought you were dead.
I told you where I'd put the briefcase.
I told you where I'd put the briefcase.
I told you where I'd put the case
I told you where I'd put the case
I took a month off and went abroad,
I took a month off and went abroad,
I want a call the moment he turns up.
I want a call the moment he turns up.
I want her to see my film. Please?
I want her to see my film. Please?
I want to be heard. I want to be heard!
I want to be heard. I want to be heard!
I want to come in from behind, where they least expect me,
I want to come in from behind, where they least expect me,
I want to give them the choice of something better.
I want to give them the choice of something better.
I want to make them fashionable.
I want to make them fashionable.
I want to watch the film!
I want to watch the film!
I want you around tonight when the shagging begins.
I want you around tonight when the shagging begins.
I wanted to tell the world about advertising.
I wanted to tell the world about advertising.
I was brought up to believe in that, and so should you, but you don't.
I was brought up to believe in that, and so should you, but you don't.
I was just getting ready to clear my throat, that's all.
I was just getting ready to clear my throat, that's all.
I was the best.
I was the best.
I wasn't getting all I needed out of normal green stuff.
I wasn't getting all I needed out of normal green stuff.
I wish I could come out and talk to you, darling.
I wish I could come out and talk to you, darling.
I wouldn't care if you were so huge we had to put up scaffolding to feed you.
I wouldn't care if you were so huge we had to put up scaffolding to feed you.
I, Bagley, will see that they get them!
I, Bagley, will see that they get them!
I'd also like to propose a small snifter to our new star.
I'd also like to propose a small snifter to our new star.
I'd be decapitating it, and that could be dangerous.
I'd be decapitating it, and that could be dangerous.
I'd completely forgotten what a terrible time it's been for you.
I'd completely forgotten what a terrible time it's been for you.
I'd like another vodka martini, dry as a bone, twist, no olive.
I'd like another vodka martini, dry as a bone, twist, no olive.
I'd like to know your reasons.
I'd like to know your reasons.
I'd like to see the knife going in.
I'd like to see the knife going in.
I'd like to see you suffer.
I'd like to see you suffer.
I'd say you'd be absolutely right.
I'd say you'd be absolutely right.
I'll be waking up with a bald head and a bit of a grin.
I'll be waking up with a bald head and a bit of a grin.
I'll bring you something anyway. There's beef burgers or fish fingers.
I'll bring you something anyway. There's beef burgers or fish fingers.
I'll buy a couple of polo necks, and we could hop on a plane.
I'll buy a couple of polo necks, and we could hop on a plane.
I'll do everything I can to harm you!
I'll do everything I can to harm you!
I'll give them anything and everything they want!
I'll give them anything and everything they want!
I'll take care of the problems.
I'll take care of the problems.
I'm 100 percent normal.
I'm 100 percent normal.
I'm absolutely not gonna think about boils,
I'm absolutely not gonna think about boils,
I'm already upset.
I'm already upset.
I'm also an expert drug pusher.
I'm also an expert drug pusher.
I'm an expert on tits. Tits and peanut butter.
I'm an expert on tits. Tits and peanut butter.
I'm coming up with a brilliant advertisement for a very dull pimple cream.
I'm coming up with a brilliant advertisement for a very dull pimple cream.
I'm completing a process of natural selection.
I'm completing a process of natural selection.
I'm getting increasingly concerned for my future.
I'm getting increasingly concerned for my future.
I'm getting nowhere. Zero.
I'm getting nowhere. Zero.
I'm going crazy trying to incorporate it into my conversation so I won't upset you.
I'm going crazy trying to incorporate it into my conversation so I won't upset you.
I'm going through everything in the house and isolating items of genuine worth.
I'm going through everything in the house and isolating items of genuine worth.
I'm gonna blitz it.
I'm gonna blitz it.
I'm gonna collect something from my office.
I'm gonna collect something from my office.
I'm gonna turn them on and do them in the middle of an advertisement for themselves.
I'm gonna turn them on and do them in the middle of an advertisement for themselves.
I'm likely to turn up here and burn this dump to the ground.
I'm likely to turn up here and burn this dump to the ground.
I'm not an expert in these things, Julia.
I'm not an expert in these things, Julia.
I'm not going to make a speech. I'd just like to thank you all for coming
I'm not going to make a speech. I'd just like to thank you all for coming
I'm on the coast of panic. I'm staring over the edge!
I'm on the coast of panic. I'm staring over the edge!
I'm sick of hearing about her soya proteins.
I'm sick of hearing about her soya proteins.
I'm sorry, Julia, but I think your husband's completely bananas!
I'm sorry, Julia, but I think your husband's completely bananas!
I'm sorry, Julia. I'm afraid Dennis is absolutely right.
I'm sorry, Julia. I'm afraid Dennis is absolutely right.
I'm sorry. I can't bear that great, pompous herbivore in there.
I'm sorry. I can't bear that great, pompous herbivore in there.
I'm sure that before any attempt is made to get rid of it,
I'm sure that before any attempt is made to get rid of it,
I'm surprised you need to bother.
I'm surprised you need to bother.
I'm taking forever off. I'm going to cleanse my life.
I'm taking forever off. I'm going to cleanse my life.
I'm up to here with it. I know everything there is to know about rationality,
I'm up to here with it. I know everything there is to know about rationality,
I've been going berserk!
I've been going berserk!
I've been living a nightmare, obsessed with other people's acne,
I've been living a nightmare, obsessed with other people's acne,
I've come to give you a present.
I've come to give you a present.
I've got a boil.
I've got a boil.
I've had an octopus squatting on my brain for a fortnight,
I've had an octopus squatting on my brain for a fortnight,
I've heard all about your boil, Mr Bagley.
I've heard all about your boil, Mr Bagley.
I've just seen you in the kitchen. I know you think I'm crazy,
I've just seen you in the kitchen. I know you think I'm crazy,
I've washed it, dried it, poked it,
I've washed it, dried it, poked it,
Ie, white breads, baked beans, canned foods
Ie, white breads, baked beans, canned foods
If a boil pops up, force yourself to think of something else.
If a boil pops up, force yourself to think of something else.
If anyone came up with a genuine cure for death!
If anyone came up with a genuine cure for death!
If happiness means the whole world
If happiness means the whole world
If I can do that, I can treble the market at a minimum.
If I can do that, I can treble the market at a minimum.
If I had been stuck in a trench for three years,
If I had been stuck in a trench for three years,
If I had known we were having dinner, I'd never have suggested lunch.
If I had known we were having dinner, I'd never have suggested lunch.
If I was you, I'd turn this off, Julia. It's only gonna upset you.
If I was you, I'd turn this off, Julia. It's only gonna upset you.
If I was you, Julia, I'd turn this off.
If I was you, Julia, I'd turn this off.
If it wants to join in, it can pay its own bill.
If it wants to join in, it can pay its own bill.
If it's buggering the eels, think what it's doing to you.
If it's buggering the eels, think what it's doing to you.
If you breathe air, it works on you. Large one, no ice, please, Richard.
If you breathe air, it works on you. Large one, no ice, please, Richard.
If you insist we have to listen to this bullshit, I need a cigarette.
If you insist we have to listen to this bullshit, I need a cigarette.
If you like, we'd love you along.
If you like, we'd love you along.
If you like.
If you like.
If you look at the market research...
If you look at the market research...
If you tell me, the boil might be quiet.
If you tell me, the boil might be quiet.
If you want to sell this pimple cream, you've got to encourage pimples.
If you want to sell this pimple cream, you've got to encourage pimples.
If you want to stay in advertising, by God, you'd better learn that.
If you want to stay in advertising, by God, you'd better learn that.
If you're aware of it, how can you bear to work in an industry that perpetuates it?
If you're aware of it, how can you bear to work in an industry that perpetuates it?
If you're selling perfume, it sounds like a lover.
If you're selling perfume, it sounds like a lover.
If you're selling something inedible you want people to eat,
If you're selling something inedible you want people to eat,
Imagine seeing that in Peking. A plaque of a Chinaman
Imagine seeing that in Peking. A plaque of a Chinaman
In a crisp, golden batter, my mate.
In a crisp, golden batter, my mate.
In my opinion, it should be lanced instantly.
In my opinion, it should be lanced instantly.
In my opinion, they'd completely missed the brief.
In my opinion, they'd completely missed the brief.
In one of its fucking hatchbacks on a motorway.
In one of its fucking hatchbacks on a motorway.
In some stinking factory making disposable lighters or Christmas trees,
In some stinking factory making disposable lighters or Christmas trees,
In the name of humanity, cut your filthy throat.
In the name of humanity, cut your filthy throat.
In the real world, I have a choice.
In the real world, I have a choice.
In this case, it would sound like a dentist, someone in the know.
In this case, it would sound like a dentist, someone in the know.
In this case, it would sound like a dentist, someone in the know.
In this case, it would sound like a dentist, someone in the know.
In where?
In where?
In which case, it might well be difficult to persuade him a psychiatrist could help.
In which case, it might well be difficult to persuade him a psychiatrist could help.
Incidentally, in case it's bothering you,
Incidentally, in case it's bothering you,
Including eels? Eels full of oestrogen?
Including eels? Eels full of oestrogen?
Insanity? You still want to sell 'em boils!
Insanity? You still want to sell 'em boils!
Is as nothing compared to the pimples, acne and boils!
Is as nothing compared to the pimples, acne and boils!
Is going to lead to a world commodity crisis, and the commodity will be oxygen.
Is going to lead to a world commodity crisis, and the commodity will be oxygen.
Is he? Julia out shopping?
Is he? Julia out shopping?
Is it? Traffic's appalling.
Is it? Traffic's appalling.
Is more than just exhaustion, Julia.
Is more than just exhaustion, Julia.
Is so I can talk without disturbing it.
Is so I can talk without disturbing it.
Is that him?
Is that him?
Is that it's not the boil that can read you.
Is that it's not the boil that can read you.
Isn't that exactly what you're accusing everyone else of doing?
Isn't that exactly what you're accusing everyone else of doing?
Isn't that trying to pretend it doesn't exist?
Isn't that trying to pretend it doesn't exist?
It belongs to Bagley. He left it at the studio.
It belongs to Bagley. He left it at the studio.
It can't hear, you see?
It can't hear, you see?
It didn't. Believe me, it didn't.
It didn't. Believe me, it didn't.
It is you, Mr Bagley, that can read the boil.
It is you, Mr Bagley, that can read the boil.
It kept going on about a briefcase.
It kept going on about a briefcase.
It may also have contained a big turnip.
It may also have contained a big turnip.
It might be a relative. His mother.
It might be a relative. His mother.
It might work on everyone else. It doesn't work on me.
It might work on everyone else. It doesn't work on me.
It must be appreciated from the beginning
It must be appreciated from the beginning
It said Dennis is an incarnation of evil with a briefcase.
It said Dennis is an incarnation of evil with a briefcase.
It said Dennis wasn't my husband. It said it was.
It said Dennis wasn't my husband. It said it was.
It seemed impossible. And because it was impossible,
It seemed impossible. And because it was impossible,
It was me that decided to come here, not it.
It was me that decided to come here, not it.
It was the only reason I agreed to come off the garage roof.
It was the only reason I agreed to come off the garage roof.
It would be pointless to go into the reasons why,
It would be pointless to go into the reasons why,
It would have some sort of the****utic effect.
It would have some sort of the****utic effect.
It'll all be over in the morning.
It'll all be over in the morning.
It'll sound as stupid as they'll have to be to buy it.
It'll sound as stupid as they'll have to be to buy it.
It'll sound as stupid as they'll have to be to buy it.
It'll sound as stupid as they'll have to be to buy it.
It's a massacre.
It's a massacre.
It's a photostat of an arse from a copying machine.
It's a photostat of an arse from a copying machine.
It's a vicious, but quite wonderful circle,
It's a vicious, but quite wonderful circle,
It's alive! It lives!
It's alive! It lives!
It's all quite normal, boil.
It's all quite normal, boil.
It's been on the bulletin board for weeks.
It's been on the bulletin board for weeks.
It's being forced on me. I just had them on the phone.
It's being forced on me. I just had them on the phone.
It's called peace.
It's called peace.
It's called peace.
It's called peace.
It's difficult for me to talk, because my sinuses are full of glue.
It's difficult for me to talk, because my sinuses are full of glue.
It's difficult to concentrate with a shanker yacking on your neck.
It's difficult to concentrate with a shanker yacking on your neck.
It's extraordinary how much steam comes off hot peas, isn't it?
It's extraordinary how much steam comes off hot peas, isn't it?
It's finished. Just a fine tune. I'll be through over the weekend.
It's finished. Just a fine tune. I'll be through over the weekend.
It's grown a moustache!
It's grown a moustache!
It's just grown a hair.
It's just grown a hair.
It's like a thing in a medical magazine.
It's like a thing in a medical magazine.
It's my totally favourite scent, and they've stopped making it.
It's my totally favourite scent, and they've stopped making it.
It's not finished, of course.
It's not finished, of course.
It's not funny, Penny. It's the most terrifying experience of my life.
It's not funny, Penny. It's the most terrifying experience of my life.
It's not just the dream, Penny.
It's not just the dream, Penny.
It's on a red and white receipt. I'll go and get it, if you like.
It's on a red and white receipt. I'll go and get it, if you like.
It's out of the question.
It's out of the question.
It's outrageous that Dennis should be allowed to manipulate children's minds.
It's outrageous that Dennis should be allowed to manipulate children's minds.
It's probably a defect from birth. Come and rescue me. I'm being attacked.
It's probably a defect from birth. Come and rescue me. I'm being attacked.
It's radical and not without its risks, but I'm certain I can pull it off.
It's radical and not without its risks, but I'm certain I can pull it off.
It's the boil shaking it!
It's the boil shaking it!
It's the boil, Julia! Believe me, it's the boil!
It's the boil, Julia! Believe me, it's the boil!
It's the first time it's spoken in front of me, and it might be important.
It's the first time it's spoken in front of me, and it might be important.
It's the you know what.
It's the you know what.
It's turning truth inside out and upside down.
It's turning truth inside out and upside down.
It's turning truth inside out and upside down.
It's turning truth inside out and upside down.
It's you that's had the silly dream.
It's you that's had the silly dream.
Jesus Christ, there wouldn't be any more packets.
Jesus Christ, there wouldn't be any more packets.
Jesus Christ! What do you think you're doing?
Jesus Christ! What do you think you're doing?
Jesus, I've forgotten what I was going to say.
Jesus, I've forgotten what I was going to say.
John. Bagley. I want to see you.
John. Bagley. I want to see you.
JULIA: "I thought leaving you was going to be so difficult.
JULIA: "I thought leaving you was going to be so difficult.
JULIA: Dennis, darling! Dennis!
JULIA: Dennis, darling! Dennis!
JULIA: You must stop worrying.
JULIA: You must stop worrying.
Julia! Julia!
Julia! Julia!
Julia...
Julia...
Julia's putting a party together. It's our anniversary.
Julia's putting a party together. It's our anniversary.
Just ask Barbara Simmons.
Just ask Barbara Simmons.
Just like Lawrence of Arabia.
Just like Lawrence of Arabia.
Just look at it in the mirror...
Just look at it in the mirror...
Just see Bristol and come home.
Just see Bristol and come home.
Just tell me how a boil
Just tell me how a boil
Just thought you might be interested in a little light rabbit to while the time away.
Just thought you might be interested in a little light rabbit to while the time away.
Large boils, blind boils or fat girls' boils, till ten o'clock tomorrow morning.
Large boils, blind boils or fat girls' boils, till ten o'clock tomorrow morning.
Large boils, small boils, fast eruptors. They're incurable, all of them.
Large boils, small boils, fast eruptors. They're incurable, all of them.
Let me speak to Julia, and I swear I'll never speak again.
Let me speak to Julia, and I swear I'll never speak again.
Let me try and clarify some of this for you.
Let me try and clarify some of this for you.
Let's hear you squawk now.
Let's hear you squawk now.
Like, erm... Well, like a parent's voice, almost?
Like, erm... Well, like a parent's voice, almost?
Listen, I don't think I'm gonna make it back tonight.
Listen, I don't think I'm gonna make it back tonight.
Listen, we've got to talk about this pimple cream.
Listen, we've got to talk about this pimple cream.
Look at him. He's got a cigarette stuck in his bandages. The man's mad.
Look at him. He's got a cigarette stuck in his bandages. The man's mad.
Look at you! You've got a polythene bag on your head. You look stark raving mad.
Look at you! You've got a polythene bag on your head. You look stark raving mad.
Look, I wasn't actually going through your handbag. I need a cigarette.
Look, I wasn't actually going through your handbag. I need a cigarette.
Look. This is what I suggest. Tomorrow, I'll call you with an appointment.
Look. This is what I suggest. Tomorrow, I'll call you with an appointment.
Look. This is what I suggest. Tomorrow, I'll call you with an appointment.
Look. This is what I suggest. Tomorrow, I'll call you with an appointment.
Lord, they're arriving. I'll tell you about this later.
Lord, they're arriving. I'll tell you about this later.
Lot more likely than what you say.
Lot more likely than what you say.
MAN: There's a lot of boils out there, Bagley.
MAN: There's a lot of boils out there, Bagley.
Marvellous.
Marvellous.
Matter of fact, I'm very busy now. I better get back in there.
Matter of fact, I'm very busy now. I better get back in there.
Maybe I was, but now I've had time to work things out, get everything in perspective.
Maybe I was, but now I've had time to work things out, get everything in perspective.
Maybe the bastard wants to see the sights!
Maybe the bastard wants to see the sights!
Meanwhile, the filth from their cars is wiping out half the forests of Europe.
Meanwhile, the filth from their cars is wiping out half the forests of Europe.
Mmph!
Mmph!
Morning, darling. Lovely day.
Morning, darling. Lovely day.
Mouthwatering fillets of young cod, matey,
Mouthwatering fillets of young cod, matey,
My God, you're right!
My God, you're right!
My grandfather was caught molesting a wallaby in a private zoo in 1919.
My grandfather was caught molesting a wallaby in a private zoo in 1919.
My mind slips into a sort of dreadful, oily neutral.
My mind slips into a sort of dreadful, oily neutral.
Never knew what was coming down the line.
Never knew what was coming down the line.
Never! I'm gonna knife the swine!
Never! I'm gonna knife the swine!
Never. No matter what you reduce, I will never go back to advertising.
Never. No matter what you reduce, I will never go back to advertising.
Nice pair of tits, Julia.
Nice pair of tits, Julia.
No truth ever gets out of here.
No truth ever gets out of here.
No, darling. Neither does yours.
No, darling. Neither does yours.
No, don't! Don't lance the wrong...
No, don't! Don't lance the wrong...
No, it's not, darling. It's Dijon with fine herbs.
No, it's not, darling. It's Dijon with fine herbs.
No, it's not, darling. It's Dijon with fine herbs.
No, it's not, darling. It's Dijon with fine herbs.
No, Los Angeles 555 0472.
No, Los Angeles 555 0472.
No, Mr Bagley, it does not.
No, Mr Bagley, it does not.
No, no, he's finished. He'll be through Monday, for sure.
No, no, he's finished. He'll be through Monday, for sure.
No, no. I think we should start again.
No, no. I think we should start again.
No. He's here now. I'll ask him.
No. He's here now. I'll ask him.
No. I'm not afraid of him. I'm one of the few who really understands him.
No. I'm not afraid of him. I'm one of the few who really understands him.
No. I'm not interested in its opinions.
No. I'm not interested in its opinions.
No. Monica.
No. Monica.
No. Perfect, thank you.
No. Perfect, thank you.
Nobody ever remembers a late delivery, Richard. They only remember a bad one.
Nobody ever remembers a late delivery, Richard. They only remember a bad one.
Nobody in advertising wants to get rid of boils, Julia.
Nobody in advertising wants to get rid of boils, Julia.
Nobody's forcing them. Everyone knows what they're getting.
Nobody's forcing them. Everyone knows what they're getting.
Nobody's forcing you to have supper.
Nobody's forcing you to have supper.
Not being a medical man, I wouldn't take my word for it,
Not being a medical man, I wouldn't take my word for it,
Not necessarily. He's almost certainly convinced of his sanity.
Not necessarily. He's almost certainly convinced of his sanity.
Not now, darling.
Not now, darling.
Not now.
Not now.
Not particularly. Just the way you said it.
Not particularly. Just the way you said it.
Not when I'm cleaning my teeth, I don't! Not when I'm doing anything, I don't.
Not when I'm cleaning my teeth, I don't! Not when I'm doing anything, I don't.
Nothing crazy about that. It's a free market.
Nothing crazy about that. It's a free market.
Nothing. All it does is throb and get bigger.
Nothing. All it does is throb and get bigger.
Nothing. It's just a big boil.
Nothing. It's just a big boil.
Now come to bed.
Now come to bed.
Now I'm going to have another.
Now I'm going to have another.
Now we're going to have a nice dinner, and everything will be normal.
Now we're going to have a nice dinner, and everything will be normal.
Now, I intend to commence vigorous intercourse at about one am.
Now, I intend to commence vigorous intercourse at about one am.
Now, we must reduce this guilt in two ways.
Now, we must reduce this guilt in two ways.
Now, you resigned from an important firm with a very highly paid job.
Now, you resigned from an important firm with a very highly paid job.
Now. As I see it, we've gotta forget this for at least three months.
Now. As I see it, we've gotta forget this for at least three months.
Nurse! Nurse! Nurse! Nurse!
Nurse! Nurse! Nurse! Nurse!
Of artificial, synthetic, orange flavoured waffle a day
Of artificial, synthetic, orange flavoured waffle a day
Of converting it back to a normal boil.
Of converting it back to a normal boil.
Of course I invited Penny. You'd better be nice to her, cos she's my friend.
Of course I invited Penny. You'd better be nice to her, cos she's my friend.
Of course not. The last thing I want to do is excite him.
Of course not. The last thing I want to do is excite him.
Of even one of those reasons.
Of even one of those reasons.
Oh, Christ, I think I've woken him up. I'll have to be quick.
Oh, Christ, I think I've woken him up. I'll have to be quick.
Oh, for God's sake, let's not have a row.
Oh, for God's sake, let's not have a row.
Oh, I don't know. I'm just so wound up about Dennis,
Oh, I don't know. I'm just so wound up about Dennis,
Oh, it's two o'clock in the morning! Will you please come to bed?
Oh, it's two o'clock in the morning! Will you please come to bed?
Oh, Jesus! Oh! Oh, my God!
Oh, Jesus! Oh! Oh, my God!
Oh, Mrs Wallace! I didn't know you were here.
Oh, Mrs Wallace! I didn't know you were here.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Nurse!
Oh, my God! Nurse!
Oh, no I don't.
Oh, no I don't.
Oh, no, fine, fine. It's going fine.
Oh, no, fine, fine. It's going fine.
Oh, no, I'm not. I'm just beginning to see the light.
Oh, no, I'm not. I'm just beginning to see the light.
Oh, no, not yet, you unwholesome pustule.
Oh, no, not yet, you unwholesome pustule.
Oh, no, you're quite wrong, Julia. There's nothing out of control about me now.
Oh, no, you're quite wrong, Julia. There's nothing out of control about me now.
Oh, so that's what's worrying you, is it?
Oh, so that's what's worrying you, is it?
Oh, that's interesting. What a complete range of dinners.
Oh, that's interesting. What a complete range of dinners.
Oh, that's where you're wrong, Julia.
Oh, that's where you're wrong, Julia.
Oh, yes! It's time Julia had a baby.
Oh, yes! It's time Julia had a baby.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh! You don't have to hold me quite so tightly, Dennis.
Oh! You don't have to hold me quite so tightly, Dennis.
Oh?
Oh?
OK, one o'clock.
OK, one o'clock.
OK. Ready? Here I go! Whee!
OK. Ready? Here I go! Whee!
On England's green and pleasant land!
On England's green and pleasant land!
Once we've done that, we've got a good chance
Once we've done that, we've got a good chance
Only because they're already there and don't eat up more and more and more.
Only because they're already there and don't eat up more and more and more.
Our warheads are stuffed to the brim with it.
Our warheads are stuffed to the brim with it.
Ow!
Ow!
Packaging would vanish from the face of the earth.
Packaging would vanish from the face of the earth.
People will either buy or they won't buy.
People will either buy or they won't buy.
Perhaps if they'd hanged Jesus Christ,
Perhaps if they'd hanged Jesus Christ,
Perhaps the fucker wants to go up the Eiffel Tower!
Perhaps the fucker wants to go up the Eiffel Tower!
Perhaps they don't.
Perhaps they don't.
Perhaps, by doing this, you hope to escape your guilt.
Perhaps, by doing this, you hope to escape your guilt.
Perhaps. But now, let's have a look at this bully on your neck.
Perhaps. But now, let's have a look at this bully on your neck.
PINK BIRD: Then knock on the door and sell them all a burglar alarm.
PINK BIRD: Then knock on the door and sell them all a burglar alarm.
Piss like you needs dealing with! You're the enemy within!
Piss like you needs dealing with! You're the enemy within!
Please stop that. I think you're ill.
Please stop that. I think you're ill.
Poor Penny. I'm surprised she'd come.
Poor Penny. I'm surprised she'd come.
Pork pies, turnips, oven parts.
Pork pies, turnips, oven parts.
Precisely. Nobody's arguing about it, especially the government.
Precisely. Nobody's arguing about it, especially the government.
PSYCHIATRIST: What you must understand
PSYCHIATRIST: What you must understand
Really?
Really?
Really?
Really?
Really? (CHUCKLES)
Really? (CHUCKLES)
RECEPTIONIST: Sullivan Bristol. One moment.
RECEPTIONIST: Sullivan Bristol. One moment.
Removing it in his condition might set up some kind of permanent block.
Removing it in his condition might set up some kind of permanent block.
Rested and got myself a tan and then I came back.
Rested and got myself a tan and then I came back.
Right, then, you're being rude. Unutterably rude and a bore!
Right, then, you're being rude. Unutterably rude and a bore!
Roads represent a fundamental right of man
Roads represent a fundamental right of man
Ruin everything we've got?
Ruin everything we've got?
Running naked around a garden insisting a boil has spoken to you
Running naked around a garden insisting a boil has spoken to you
Say no more, Julia. Don't say more.
Say no more, Julia. Don't say more.
Sell some hope, you see?
Sell some hope, you see?
She has 2.3 children, 1.6 of which will be girls.
She has 2.3 children, 1.6 of which will be girls.
She has seven radiators and is worried about her weight,
She has seven radiators and is worried about her weight,
She said he's got a permanent horn.
She said he's got a permanent horn.
She said the boil had spoken to you.
She said the boil had spoken to you.
She uses 16 feet six inches of toilet tissue a week
She uses 16 feet six inches of toilet tissue a week
She who fills her basket.
She who fills her basket.
She's telling me off because I think your husband's a genius.
She's telling me off because I think your husband's a genius.
Shouldn't really be telling you this. It was said in the strictest of confidence.
Shouldn't really be telling you this. It was said in the strictest of confidence.
Shove vitamins in their toilet rolls.
Shove vitamins in their toilet rolls.
Shut up, you little moron! I'd like to wring your bastard neck!
Shut up, you little moron! I'd like to wring your bastard neck!
Shut up! I've had enough of you!
Shut up! I've had enough of you!
Shut up. You never talk in front of people, so don't talk in front of me.
Shut up. You never talk in front of people, so don't talk in front of me.
Sit down! I'm going to call Gatty.
Sit down! I'm going to call Gatty.
So busy thinking of the stress I was under,
So busy thinking of the stress I was under,
So here we are again with our diet.
So here we are again with our diet.
So I shall dismember them and return them via the sewers to the sea.
So I shall dismember them and return them via the sewers to the sea.
So we associate a relatively innocuous drug
So we associate a relatively innocuous drug
So we could say, principally, that it's television that you blame?
So we could say, principally, that it's television that you blame?
So why don't you try and do it with some dignity?
So why don't you try and do it with some dignity?
So, how can we help them with that?
So, how can we help them with that?
Someone or something coming into your life
Someone or something coming into your life
Something on foot deodorisers in a brassière.
Something on foot deodorisers in a brassière.
Sorry to disturb you, Mr Bagley,
Sorry to disturb you, Mr Bagley,
Sorry. Afraid the clinch is the only dance I know.
Sorry. Afraid the clinch is the only dance I know.
Speak to her of what, boil?
Speak to her of what, boil?
Spritzer, please.
Spritzer, please.
Standing on a double layer of foot deodorisers,
Standing on a double layer of foot deodorisers,
Stay away from me! Keep away!
Stay away from me! Keep away!
Stay back, Gatty! You blast it on the radio!
Stay back, Gatty! You blast it on the radio!
Stop getting so wound up about it. It'll come.
Stop getting so wound up about it. It'll come.
Stop saying "the you know what".
Stop saying "the you know what".
Stop saying perhaps! What's perhaps got to do with it?
Stop saying perhaps! What's perhaps got to do with it?
Tasty bit of glue, is it?
Tasty bit of glue, is it?
Tell him OK. I'll be in first thing Monday morning.
Tell him OK. I'll be in first thing Monday morning.
Tell them to come in, Sylvia, do whatever they like.
Tell them to come in, Sylvia, do whatever they like.
Terrific. Didn't feel a thing.
Terrific. Didn't feel a thing.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
That even the nosh pot must be low in something.
That even the nosh pot must be low in something.
That horrible sneer and mouth full of nuts.
That horrible sneer and mouth full of nuts.
That isn't the real world.
That isn't the real world.
That smoking can seriously damage your health
That smoking can seriously damage your health
That was the boil. Ignore it.
That was the boil. Ignore it.
That wasn't me. That was the boil.
That wasn't me. That was the boil.
That you keep quiet while you're smoking it.
That you keep quiet while you're smoking it.
That you'll keep quiet while you're smoking it.
That you'll keep quiet while you're smoking it.
That'd be lovely.
That'd be lovely.
That's a very attractive oven glove.
That's a very attractive oven glove.
That's absurd.
That's absurd.
That's nonsense! It was you that suggested France.
That's nonsense! It was you that suggested France.
That's not the case, Julia. I'm not turning away to speak.
That's not the case, Julia. I'm not turning away to speak.
That's right, you cynical bastard.
That's right, you cynical bastard.
That's right, you cynical bastard.
That's right, you cynical bastard.
That's right. Closeups of hives.
That's right. Closeups of hives.
That's very rude of you, Mr Bagley.
That's very rude of you, Mr Bagley.
That's what's so insane about all this. Anything else, I'm fine.
That's what's so insane about all this. Anything else, I'm fine.
That's why they're old fashioned and rotten.
That's why they're old fashioned and rotten.
That's why you hate them. That's why government hates them.
That's why you hate them. That's why government hates them.
The bag could have been full of anything.
The bag could have been full of anything.
The bag may have contained heroin,
The bag may have contained heroin,
The bag was full of drugs! It says so!
The bag was full of drugs! It says so!
The bastard looks just like me!
The bastard looks just like me!
The bastard's on fire!
The bastard's on fire!
The boil happens to be able to speak, but that doesn't qualify it to give an opinion.
The boil happens to be able to speak, but that doesn't qualify it to give an opinion.
The boil! The boil!
The boil! The boil!
The bullying, aggressive, dictatorial side.
The bullying, aggressive, dictatorial side.
The distortion of truth by association book.
The distortion of truth by association book.
The fucking's going to start in about an hour,
The fucking's going to start in about an hour,
The greed is out of control.
The greed is out of control.
The idea is we all sort of go along with him.
The idea is we all sort of go along with him.
The last thing they expected was for Lawrence
The last thing they expected was for Lawrence
The level of oestrogen in the sea will be as much as two parts per million.
The level of oestrogen in the sea will be as much as two parts per million.
The market's saturated.
The market's saturated.
The moment I think of a boil,
The moment I think of a boil,
The monstrous injustice of it is, we stare at it of our own free will.
The monstrous injustice of it is, we stare at it of our own free will.
The only fucker this ever frightened was the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
The only fucker this ever frightened was the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
The only thing he'd consent to at the moment is me lancing the boil.
The only thing he'd consent to at the moment is me lancing the boil.
The other 50 percent is about offering to solve it.
The other 50 percent is about offering to solve it.
The other night, she woke up and caught him
The other night, she woke up and caught him
The problem is, it's starting to mess up the fish.
The problem is, it's starting to mess up the fish.
The reason I'm wearing this wine carton on my head
The reason I'm wearing this wine carton on my head
The sweet stench of revenge!
The sweet stench of revenge!
The whole lot taken together, including the fucking lawnmowers,
The whole lot taken together, including the fucking lawnmowers,
The word is "may".
The word is "may".
The world is in danger, Julia. The greed is out of control.
The world is in danger, Julia. The greed is out of control.
The world is one magnificent fucking shop,
The world is one magnificent fucking shop,
Then I'll lance it.
Then I'll lance it.
Then it said, "Zero, zero, zero," again and again and again.
Then it said, "Zero, zero, zero," again and again and again.
Then it told me to get an electric carving knife and cut his head off.
Then it told me to get an electric carving knife and cut his head off.
Then why can't I take a look? Why can't I see something?
Then why can't I take a look? Why can't I see something?
There is no greater freedom than freedom of choice,
There is no greater freedom than freedom of choice,
There isn't going to be anywhere left to go
There isn't going to be anywhere left to go
There'd be no aerosols. Detergents would vanish.
There'd be no aerosols. Detergents would vanish.
There'd be no more secrets, nothing left to hide.
There'd be no more secrets, nothing left to hide.
There'd be no more tea bags, no instant potatoes, no long life cream.
There'd be no more tea bags, no instant potatoes, no long life cream.
There's a splendid example of what he's talking about outside our building.
There's a splendid example of what he's talking about outside our building.
There's no reason to raise your voice.
There's no reason to raise your voice.
There's no reason why we shouldn't pass these last few hours together amicably.
There's no reason why we shouldn't pass these last few hours together amicably.
There's no side to any of this. There is me. There is a boil.
There's no side to any of this. There is me. There is a boil.
Therefore, you've transmitted these qualities into the boil.
Therefore, you've transmitted these qualities into the boil.
They are not worried about the nation's health.
They are not worried about the nation's health.
They are phoning me back. I've got to give them something.
They are phoning me back. I've got to give them something.
They asked my opinion, and I gave it.
They asked my opinion, and I gave it.
They have a right to them. If they have to sweat all day
They have a right to them. If they have to sweat all day
They love their CZT!
They love their CZT!
They wanna believe something will work.
They wanna believe something will work.
They want it! They need it! They positively adore it!
They want it! They need it! They positively adore it!
They were on the phone this morning, threatening to pull the account.
They were on the phone this morning, threatening to pull the account.
They won't be satisfied, not till we're all squatting
They won't be satisfied, not till we're all squatting
They'd sell off the sea to satisfy the needs of their great god Greed.
They'd sell off the sea to satisfy the needs of their great god Greed.
They're entitled to any innovation technology brings,
They're entitled to any innovation technology brings,
They're entitled to it.
They're entitled to it.
They're entitled to one of four important new ingredients.
They're entitled to one of four important new ingredients.
They're getting impatient. We promised them the animatic over a week ago.
They're getting impatient. We promised them the animatic over a week ago.
They're gonna get it bigger and brighter and better!
They're gonna get it bigger and brighter and better!
They're gonna love waiting for it.
They're gonna love waiting for it.
They're good little money spinners.
They're good little money spinners.
They've moved in on the greatest means of communication since the wheel.
They've moved in on the greatest means of communication since the wheel.
Things like that are always happening
Things like that are always happening
This cursed pimple cream has got on top of you.
This cursed pimple cream has got on top of you.
This gas fired business had penetrated so deeply into my subconscious,
This gas fired business had penetrated so deeply into my subconscious,
This isn't a dream. It's reality.
This isn't a dream. It's reality.
This morning it was a pea. Now it's like a fucking tomato.
This morning it was a pea. Now it's like a fucking tomato.
Thought his filthy creation was gonna be watching us.
Thought his filthy creation was gonna be watching us.
Till Jerusalem is builded here
Till Jerusalem is builded here
To come roaring across the desert and attack them from behind.
To come roaring across the desert and attack them from behind.
To create the ravenous market I'm after.
To create the ravenous market I'm after.
To have access to the good things in life.
To have access to the good things in life.
To me, this represents everything that is wrong
To me, this represents everything that is wrong
To sell atom bombs, you've got to sell fear.
To sell atom bombs, you've got to sell fear.
To the archetypal, average housewife,
To the archetypal, average housewife,
Traditionally known as the British sausage.
Traditionally known as the British sausage.
Trains? Trains are no good. They're old fashioned.
Trains? Trains are no good. They're old fashioned.
Trying not to talk about breath and false teeth
Trying not to talk about breath and false teeth
Until they get one. Then the rules suddenly change.
Until they get one. Then the rules suddenly change.
Up we go. There we are.
Up we go. There we are.
Vile. I'm glad I've given up.
Vile. I'm glad I've given up.
Wake up, man! We're in mortal peril!
Wake up, man! We're in mortal peril!
Walls have ears, Dennis. I overheard Julia telling Gatty.
Walls have ears, Dennis. I overheard Julia telling Gatty.
Warning by Her Majesty's Government.
Warning by Her Majesty's Government.
We also encourage her to reward herself with little treats,
We also encourage her to reward herself with little treats,
We can have both. People do, darling.
We can have both. People do, darling.
We can say entirely it is the crooks who've infiltrated it that I blame.
We can say entirely it is the crooks who've infiltrated it that I blame.
We can't talk here. Come and have a drink.
We can't talk here. Come and have a drink.
We could leave in a week or so.
We could leave in a week or so.
We don't know who this person is.
We don't know who this person is.
We just behave normally. I don't want him excited.
We just behave normally. I don't want him excited.
We might never get this chance again.
We might never get this chance again.
We put an added ingredient into bombs these days.
We put an added ingredient into bombs these days.
We put an added ingredient into bombs these days.
We put an added ingredient into bombs these days.
We wanna sell 'em cigarettes and don't like competition, see?
We wanna sell 'em cigarettes and don't like competition, see?
We'd all be kneeling in front of a fucking gibbet!
We'd all be kneeling in front of a fucking gibbet!
We'll speak about that in a moment, when we've had a look at this boil.
We'll speak about that in a moment, when we've had a look at this boil.
We're all prepared to sit here discussing mung beans and soya protein,
We're all prepared to sit here discussing mung beans and soya protein,
We're leaving in less than an hour.
We're leaving in less than an hour.
We're years ahead of the competition, of course.
We're years ahead of the competition, of course.
Well, at least try and give me an example
Well, at least try and give me an example
Well, can you page him? I need him at once!
Well, can you page him? I need him at once!
Well, I really do think you should cancel Bristol and come home with me.
Well, I really do think you should cancel Bristol and come home with me.
Well, it's ever so slightly getting on my nerves.
Well, it's ever so slightly getting on my nerves.
Well, let's hope it's not too late.
Well, let's hope it's not too late.
Well, there's an obelisk there to the glory of the Royal Marines,
Well, there's an obelisk there to the glory of the Royal Marines,
Well, we could meet for lunch, celebrate my breakthrough.
Well, we could meet for lunch, celebrate my breakthrough.
Wh... Is it a kipper?
Wh... Is it a kipper?
What a disgusting thing to say!
What a disgusting thing to say!
What about large, blind, fat girls with boils?
What about large, blind, fat girls with boils?
What about OCDS? (LAUGHS)
What about OCDS? (LAUGHS)
What are we gonna tell him?
What are we gonna tell him?
What do you know about God, you wire haired Mick?
What do you know about God, you wire haired Mick?
What do you mean by that?
What do you mean by that?
What does this mean to you?
What does this mean to you?
What I have to explain is the mechanics of a holocaust.
What I have to explain is the mechanics of a holocaust.
What I have to explain is the mechanics of a holocaust.
What I have to explain is the mechanics of a holocaust.
What I meant was, if you did have false teeth, would you be ashamed of them?
What I meant was, if you did have false teeth, would you be ashamed of them?
What is concerning them is that the nation
What is concerning them is that the nation
What more could you possibly want?
What more could you possibly want?
What sort of freedom can you get from hacking a vacuum cleaner to pieces?
What sort of freedom can you get from hacking a vacuum cleaner to pieces?
What the fuck do you think I'm resigning for?
What the fuck do you think I'm resigning for?
What utter balls, Jonathan.
What utter balls, Jonathan.
What would you do?
What would you do?
What would you say if I said that you don't want to look at it
What would you say if I said that you don't want to look at it
What you mean is you want me to have a look at it. No.
What you mean is you want me to have a look at it. No.
What you need is a taut slob,
What you need is a taut slob,
What you'll say next. It's you saying it.
What you'll say next. It's you saying it.
What's "can" got to do with it? Can, could, might, possibly, maybe.
What's "can" got to do with it? Can, could, might, possibly, maybe.
What's this cream going to be called, anyway?
What's this cream going to be called, anyway?
When he wakes up, try and be normal. Cook him dinner.
When he wakes up, try and be normal. Cook him dinner.
When I came in here, it was my intention to make a film.
When I came in here, it was my intention to make a film.
When people are under dreadful mental stress.
When people are under dreadful mental stress.
When the hydrolysed protein and monosodium glutamate reserves ran out,
When the hydrolysed protein and monosodium glutamate reserves ran out,
Where has he hidden the briefcase?
Where has he hidden the briefcase?
Which brings me to my final question.
Which brings me to my final question.
Which is why I can't bear to watch this dreadful insanity.
Which is why I can't bear to watch this dreadful insanity.
Which is why I intend to escape.
Which is why I intend to escape.
While I'm there, get hold of Bristol and tell him I'm coming to see him.
While I'm there, get hold of Bristol and tell him I'm coming to see him.
Who's gonna tell me about it, then?
Who's gonna tell me about it, then?
Who's the man you are to think you know more about it than the press?
Who's the man you are to think you know more about it than the press?
Why did you say that?
Why did you say that?
Why do you keep calling him him? It's you!
Why do you keep calling him him? It's you!
Why don't you tell me about your grandfather?
Why don't you tell me about your grandfather?
Why don't you? Do it now while he's asleep?
Why don't you? Do it now while he's asleep?
Why hamburgers are going to be the cause of World War III.
Why hamburgers are going to be the cause of World War III.
Why have you put chickens down the lavatory?
Why have you put chickens down the lavatory?
Why should a boil suddenly suggest going to France?
Why should a boil suddenly suggest going to France?
Why should anyone have to clean their teeth without important new ingredients?
Why should anyone have to clean their teeth without important new ingredients?
Why the hell shouldn't they have their CZT?
Why the hell shouldn't they have their CZT?
Why you decided to vacuum clean me in the middle of the night.
Why you decided to vacuum clean me in the middle of the night.
Wild animals prancing through the woodlands.
Wild animals prancing through the woodlands.
Will wear one with pride.
Will wear one with pride.
With a boil on the nose, there's a sudden overnight surge in faith.
With a boil on the nose, there's a sudden overnight surge in faith.
Within 25 years, the Brazilians will be fixing oxygen prices
Within 25 years, the Brazilians will be fixing oxygen prices
Without roads, established family favourites would become elitist delicacies.
Without roads, established family favourites would become elitist delicacies.
WOMAN: I think men should bleed.
WOMAN: I think men should bleed.
Women, I might inform you, take that primitive device called the pill
Women, I might inform you, take that primitive device called the pill
Wracking my brains to be original about boils.
Wracking my brains to be original about boils.
Yeah, but I'd forgotten what a nightmare you are.
Yeah, but I'd forgotten what a nightmare you are.
Yeah, yeah, I know he has. Forget the problems.
Yeah, yeah, I know he has. Forget the problems.
Yeah. Come on, let's hit this cathode ray tube.
Yeah. Come on, let's hit this cathode ray tube.
Yes, I had a row with it, and it got very heated when I refused to shave.
Yes, I had a row with it, and it got very heated when I refused to shave.
Yes, I was about to say, I notice Penny's gone carnivorous.
Yes, I was about to say, I notice Penny's gone carnivorous.
Yes, I'm sorry, darling. I know I did.
Yes, I'm sorry, darling. I know I did.
Yes, you are. You want to take everyone's car away.
Yes, you are. You want to take everyone's car away.
Yes. Put him through.
Yes. Put him through.
Yesterday evening, he said he wished I had nipples on my arse.
Yesterday evening, he said he wished I had nipples on my arse.
You all believe heroin was in the bag because cannabis resin was in the bag.
You all believe heroin was in the bag because cannabis resin was in the bag.
You are a criminal ogre.
You are a criminal ogre.
You breathe a word of this to anyone, Penny, and I'll absolutely kill you.
You breathe a word of this to anyone, Penny, and I'll absolutely kill you.
You can go home, Mrs Wallace.
You can go home, Mrs Wallace.
You can read it because it is you.
You can read it because it is you.
You can't harm me, you miserable little bit of garbage.
You can't harm me, you miserable little bit of garbage.
You dislike me because I'm not one of those starved little tarts you exploit.
You dislike me because I'm not one of those starved little tarts you exploit.
You don't look at all well, you know.
You don't look at all well, you know.
You don't think the inclusion of the boil could perhaps help us?
You don't think the inclusion of the boil could perhaps help us?
You don't want freedom, do you? You don't even want roads.
You don't want freedom, do you? You don't even want roads.
You find bleeding disgusting, do you?
You find bleeding disgusting, do you?
You gave the juniors a bit of a tongue lashing yesterday.
You gave the juniors a bit of a tongue lashing yesterday.
You had a terrible time with piles.
You had a terrible time with piles.
You have got to see a psychiatrist.
You have got to see a psychiatrist.
You have to do your best to get him there.
You have to do your best to get him there.
You know what this does to me, reliving this nightmare?
You know what this does to me, reliving this nightmare?
You know, just a storyboard or some roughs,
You know, just a storyboard or some roughs,
You know, there's no real reason why we should wait.
You know, there's no real reason why we should wait.
You look like a doomed bollock.
You look like a doomed bollock.
You may have even slept walked there.
You may have even slept walked there.
You might at least make a bit of an effort.
You might at least make a bit of an effort.
You must have seen it 200 times.
You must have seen it 200 times.
You need help. You need rest.
You need help. You need rest.
You need something tough.
You need something tough.
You never had a boil before in your life.
You never had a boil before in your life.
You or the boil?
You or the boil?
You said I needed help, and I got help, and now I'm better,
You said I needed help, and I got help, and now I'm better,
You saw your own face in the mirror, and it frightened you.
You saw your own face in the mirror, and it frightened you.
You see what a nightmare I'm in. You see why I can't talk to you.
You see what a nightmare I'm in. You see why I can't talk to you.
You think I'd let a little pipsqueak like you undermine society,
You think I'd let a little pipsqueak like you undermine society,
You were dreaming. You dreamt you woke up and went to the bathroom.
You were dreaming. You dreamt you woke up and went to the bathroom.
You were drunk last night, and probably don't realise it, but you were out of control.
You were drunk last night, and probably don't realise it, but you were out of control.
You were the one that said so. You can't have it both ways, darling.
You were the one that said so. You can't have it both ways, darling.
You wouldn't make me a cup of tea, would you, Sylvia?
You wouldn't make me a cup of tea, would you, Sylvia?
You'll be dead in a couple of days,
You'll be dead in a couple of days,
You'll probably have to go along with him.
You'll probably have to go along with him.
You'll probably have to go along with him.
You'll probably have to go along with him.
You're alive.
You're alive.
You're ill, darling. I want you to get out of the bath.
You're ill, darling. I want you to get out of the bath.
You're not wearing a bra.
You're not wearing a bra.
You're quite wrong. I don't dislike you because of that.
You're quite wrong. I don't dislike you because of that.
You're talking to Dennis Dimbleby Bagley.
You're talking to Dennis Dimbleby Bagley.
You're totally worn out, both physically and emotionally.
You're totally worn out, both physically and emotionally.
You've decided that selling these things is a bad thing for you to do,
You've decided that selling these things is a bad thing for you to do,
You've given it the side that you find intolerable,
You've given it the side that you find intolerable,
You've got to remember, as far as he's concerned, I wouldn't be lancing it.
You've got to remember, as far as he's concerned, I wouldn't be lancing it.
Your face can be a battleground.
Your face can be a battleground.
15 years ago, I was out there on the floor where you are now,
15 years ago, I was out there on the floor where you are now,
16 to 26 year old acne attacker. It's a hexafluoride.
16 to 26 year old acne attacker. It's a hexafluoride.
50 per cent of politics is about creating a problem.
50 per cent of politics is about creating a problem.
(BOIL GROANING) Oh, my God! Aah!
(BOIL GROANING) Oh, my God! Aah!
(BOIL GRUNTING SOFTLY) BAGLEY: No!
(BOIL GRUNTING SOFTLY) BAGLEY: No!
(DOORBELL RINGS) So if anything happens,
(DOORBELL RINGS) So if anything happens,
(DOORBELL RINGS) That'll be Dr Gatty.
(DOORBELL RINGS) That'll be Dr Gatty.
(GROANS) Why don't you take some aspirin?
(GROANS) Why don't you take some aspirin?
(SCREAMS) There, there, there.
(SCREAMS) There, there, there.
(SIGHS) Trust me. Take my word for it.
(SIGHS) Trust me. Take my word for it.
(SQUEAKING) MAN: Yeah. Have him call me later.
(SQUEAKING) MAN: Yeah. Have him call me later.
(WHIMPERS) Yes?
(WHIMPERS) Yes?
(WHISTLING TUNELESSLY) Promise?
(WHISTLING TUNELESSLY) Promise?
♪ I am without my love ♪ (RAUCOUS LAUGHTER)
♪ I am without my love ♪ (RAUCOUS LAUGHTER)
♪ Tears I cannot hide ♪ Come on. I insist.
♪ Tears I cannot hide ♪ Come on. I insist.
♪ When a lovely flame dies ♪ (GRUNTING)
♪ When a lovely flame dies ♪ (GRUNTING)
A typically communist statement. I'm not a communist!
A typically communist statement. I'm not a communist!
A wallaby? May have been a kangaroo. I'm not sure.
A wallaby? May have been a kangaroo. I'm not sure.
All right. Here you are. Now, now, boy. Aah! Aah!
All right. Here you are. Now, now, boy. Aah! Aah!
and for being such a special wife. (APPLAUSE)
and for being such a special wife. (APPLAUSE)
And how are you gonna do that? By glamorising boils.
And how are you gonna do that? By glamorising boils.
And how will you do that? By telling them, you bald fool.
And how will you do that? By telling them, you bald fool.
and I can't get it out of my head. Mrs Bagley, the musicians are here.
and I can't get it out of my head. Mrs Bagley, the musicians are here.
And not in that order. But you've always adored fucking.
And not in that order. But you've always adored fucking.
And that's it? No.
And that's it? No.
And what's "Zero, zero, zero"? (SIGHS) It's horrendous. I don't know.
And what's "Zero, zero, zero"? (SIGHS) It's horrendous. I don't know.
And what's "Zero, zero, zero"? (SIGHS) It's horrendous. I don't know.
And what's "Zero, zero, zero"? (SIGHS) It's horrendous. I don't know.
Any calls? Mr Bristol called again, twice.
Any calls? Mr Bristol called again, twice.
Apparently, he's insatiable. Really?
Apparently, he's insatiable. Really?
Bagley and Julia. Bagley and Julia.
Bagley and Julia. Bagley and Julia.
BAGLEY: Help! Help! Put some pressure on his arm.
BAGLEY: Help! Help! Put some pressure on his arm.
BAGLEY: Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! (BOIL GRUNTING)
BAGLEY: Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! (BOIL GRUNTING)
BAGLEY: Nonsense. It says so!
BAGLEY: Nonsense. It says so!
BAGLEY: OK. JULIA: And don't go near your office.
BAGLEY: OK. JULIA: And don't go near your office.
BAGLEY: The truth. Shut up, you dozy scab!
BAGLEY: The truth. Shut up, you dozy scab!
Be quiet. That wouldn't be fair.
Be quiet. That wouldn't be fair.
Be silent, you Moloch. Moloch?
Be silent, you Moloch. Moloch?
BOIL: Deal. Swear!
BOIL: Deal. Swear!
BOIL: Fucked it, didn't he? He did not fuck it!
BOIL: Fucked it, didn't he? He did not fuck it!
BOIL: He'd fuck one. Shut up!
BOIL: He'd fuck one. Shut up!
BOIL: I need a cigarette. Be silent, you Moloch!
BOIL: I need a cigarette. Be silent, you Moloch!
BOIL: Lovely. Thought you'd change your mind.
BOIL: Lovely. Thought you'd change your mind.
BOIL: Moloch? Yes, that's you, you Moloch, you bogey!
BOIL: Moloch? Yes, that's you, you Moloch, you bogey!
Both breasts and the leg removed? MAN: When all's said and done,
Both breasts and the leg removed? MAN: When all's said and done,
but selling them was a piece of cake. You're raising your voice.
but selling them was a piece of cake. You're raising your voice.
Come on, Julia. Come and dance. ♪ Now laughing friends deride ♪
Come on, Julia. Come and dance. ♪ Now laughing friends deride ♪
Do you know someone? I know a very good man in town.
Do you know someone? I know a very good man in town.
Do you mind? The tits were spread with peanut butter!
Do you mind? The tits were spread with peanut butter!
Do you wear Y fronts? Don't tell him.
Do you wear Y fronts? Don't tell him.
Does it work? No idea. It's probably junk.
Does it work? No idea. It's probably junk.
Doing what? Scrutinising.
Doing what? Scrutinising.
Don't argue with him. Fish is allowed!
Don't argue with him. Fish is allowed!
For what? Paris.
For what? Paris.
Good. Yes, wonderful. (YELLING)
Good. Yes, wonderful. (YELLING)
Hard luck. Was it?
Hard luck. Was it?
Hasn't the mustard helped? Of course not.
Hasn't the mustard helped? Of course not.
Have they done it? In the morning.
Have they done it? In the morning.
He's very good looking. If you like that sort of thing.
He's very good looking. If you like that sort of thing.
Hello, darling. Mm! Dying for a pee. This is Monica.
Hello, darling. Mm! Dying for a pee. This is Monica.
Hello, Monica. Come and have a drink. Thank you.
Hello, Monica. Come and have a drink. Thank you.
Hello, Penny. Lovely party. Super.
Hello, Penny. Lovely party. Super.
Hello. Ah!
Hello. Ah!
Here, take a look at this. What is it?
Here, take a look at this. What is it?
Hold them, Sheila. So don't tell me I'm being irrational.
Hold them, Sheila. So don't tell me I'm being irrational.
How'd it go? Terrific.
How'd it go? Terrific.
I beg your pardon, darling? Just happened to be thinking about it.
I beg your pardon, darling? Just happened to be thinking about it.
I can't stand it any more. How do you think I feel about it?
I can't stand it any more. How do you think I feel about it?
I can't. I've got to see Bristol. You're not gonna be much use.
I can't. I've got to see Bristol. You're not gonna be much use.
I cannot get a handle on the boils. Pass me the butter, please, darling.
I cannot get a handle on the boils. Pass me the butter, please, darling.
I certainly don't want any arguments. What's the matter with him?
I certainly don't want any arguments. What's the matter with him?
I come from a completely normal family. BOIL: Tell him about your grandfather.
I come from a completely normal family. BOIL: Tell him about your grandfather.
I didn't say anything. Oh, I see.
I didn't say anything. Oh, I see.
I don't have false teeth. I know you don't, darling. I know you don't.
I don't have false teeth. I know you don't, darling. I know you don't.
I don't know. Why not Portugal?
I don't know. Why not Portugal?
I don't think so. I'm anti nuke. Hear, hear.
I don't think so. I'm anti nuke. Hear, hear.
I hate trains. They're rotten. Only because they don't consume.
I hate trains. They're rotten. Only because they don't consume.
I have, darling. What's it doing?
I have, darling. What's it doing?
I hope you told him I was out. Yes, Mr Bagley. You were out.
I hope you told him I was out. Yes, Mr Bagley. You were out.
I might do something stupid myself. Like showing affection for an animal?
I might do something stupid myself. Like showing affection for an animal?
I should have resigned then. I see.
I should have resigned then. I see.
I think it's a male. Father, then.
I think it's a male. Father, then.
I thought everyone was out. My husband's outside in the van.
I thought everyone was out. My husband's outside in the van.
I thought she was coming. She is, she's been held up.
I thought she was coming. She is, she's been held up.
I thought she was coming. She is, she's been held up.
I thought she was coming. She is, she's been held up.
I thought we weren't going to listen to it. I can't help but listen to it.
I thought we weren't going to listen to it. I can't help but listen to it.
I want to speak to my wife. Oh, you can talk, can you?
I want to speak to my wife. Oh, you can talk, can you?
I wouldn't do that, old chap. Can damage your health?
I wouldn't do that, old chap. Can damage your health?
I'll be out later. Don't be too long.
I'll be out later. Don't be too long.
I'm going to drown them. You call that rational, do you?
I'm going to drown them. You call that rational, do you?
I'm sorry, Julia. Bye, darling.
I'm sorry, Julia. Bye, darling.
I'm talking to it. I need a cigarette.
I'm talking to it. I need a cigarette.
I've also burnt Julia's diaphragm. Oh, no!
I've also burnt Julia's diaphragm. Oh, no!
I've been pushing drugs for 20 years. Look here, I've had enough of this!
I've been pushing drugs for 20 years. Look here, I've had enough of this!
I've never seen him on such good form. Absolutely. He's fine.
I've never seen him on such good form. Absolutely. He's fine.
If he doesn't, we'll have to make him. I fear so.
If he doesn't, we'll have to make him. I fear so.
If necessary. Advertising, dear boy.
If necessary. Advertising, dear boy.
In what context? In the context of bed.
In what context? In the context of bed.
Is he? How is he? He's waiting to collect me.
Is he? How is he? He's waiting to collect me.
It has to be done or we'll never be free. From what?
It has to be done or we'll never be free. From what?
It told me where you'd hidden the case. It didn't.
It told me where you'd hidden the case. It didn't.
It was a hypothetical question. Probably not.
It was a hypothetical question. Probably not.
It was never used. Not its. Mine.
It was never used. Not its. Mine.
It's all right. Bastard!
It's all right. Bastard!
It's only going to upset you. You see what a nightmare I'm in.
It's only going to upset you. You see what a nightmare I'm in.
It's the boil! Aah! Aah! BOIL: Mmm.
It's the boil! Aah! Aah! BOIL: Mmm.
It's the oldest trick in the book. What book?
It's the oldest trick in the book. What book?
Julia seems terribly tense. Surprised? It's him.
Julia seems terribly tense. Surprised? It's him.
Like you're doing the vacuum cleaner? That's right.
Like you're doing the vacuum cleaner? That's right.
Lovely party. Thank you.
Lovely party. Thank you.
Me? Yes.
Me? Yes.
Mwah! Oh, you missed me! (GIGGLES)
Mwah! Oh, you missed me! (GIGGLES)
No more! You want the air, you pay for it.
No more! You want the air, you pay for it.
No. Then what's up?
No. Then what's up?
No. He died before I was born. Do you sympathise with him?
No. He died before I was born. Do you sympathise with him?
Not like this, I haven't. Oh, yes you have.
Not like this, I haven't. Oh, yes you have.
Now, now, now. Come on. Aah! Aah!
Now, now, now. Come on. Aah! Aah!
Now, you tuck in and enjoy it. It's no good.
Now, you tuck in and enjoy it. It's no good.
Of course. Wonderful. Wonderful.
Of course. Wonderful. Wonderful.
Ogre! Hopefully a baby boy bol.
Ogre! Hopefully a baby boy bol.
Oh, my God. Yes.
Oh, my God. Yes.
Oh, no! Oh, yes.
Oh, no! Oh, yes.
Oh, yes? What? Trains.
Oh, yes? What? Trains.
Oh! Ready? Mwah! Mm... Mwah!
Oh! Ready? Mwah! Mm... Mwah!
Paddington drug orgy. Huh.
Paddington drug orgy. Huh.
Penny Wheelstock. Hello.
Penny Wheelstock. Hello.
Perhaps they don't. Of course they do.
Perhaps they don't. Of course they do.
Phyllis. Blokey.
Phyllis. Blokey.
Really? It is the reason I'm resigning.
Really? It is the reason I'm resigning.
Really? Never been better.
Really? Never been better.
Really? Said you went over the top.
Really? Said you went over the top.
Really? She said she's desperate.
Really? She said she's desperate.
Richard, are you free Saturday? Yeah.
Richard, are you free Saturday? Yeah.
Richard, your case. Oh, no, it's not mine.
Richard, your case. Oh, no, it's not mine.
Right. Oh, this is a good idea.
Right. Oh, this is a good idea.
See? She's a meat eating vegan. I do not eat meat!
See? She's a meat eating vegan. I do not eat meat!
Seven years. Congratulations.
Seven years. Congratulations.
She lacked protein. And minerals.
She lacked protein. And minerals.
She's gonna be terrific. The stitches.
She's gonna be terrific. The stitches.
She's the singer with the boils. To boils, acne and blackheads.
She's the singer with the boils. To boils, acne and blackheads.
So real, it could have been real. Have you told Dennis?
So real, it could have been real. Have you told Dennis?
So was dandruff. So was breath. You're still raising your voice.
So was dandruff. So was breath. You're still raising your voice.
Sorry. Monica?
Sorry. Monica?
Stay back! You need help! I refuse to have that quack in here.
Stay back! You need help! I refuse to have that quack in here.
Tell him I'm out again. He says he knows you're not.
Tell him I'm out again. He says he knows you're not.
Tell me about your parents. Not part of the plot.
Tell me about your parents. Not part of the plot.
Thank you, Debbie. May I call you Debbie? Mm hm.
Thank you, Debbie. May I call you Debbie? Mm hm.
Thanks for the cigarette, Mrs Wallace. I thought you'd given up.
Thanks for the cigarette, Mrs Wallace. I thought you'd given up.
That's just the least of it. (CAR DRAWS UP)
That's just the least of it. (CAR DRAWS UP)
The bag was full of drugs. Nonsense.
The bag was full of drugs. Nonsense.
The only man here in a hired suit. He's as close as a Doberman's balls.
The only man here in a hired suit. He's as close as a Doberman's balls.
The Russians don't put peace in theirs. Very good, Bagley.
The Russians don't put peace in theirs. Very good, Bagley.
Then stop siding with it! Don't be ridiculous! I'm not siding with it!
Then stop siding with it! Don't be ridiculous! I'm not siding with it!
Then we can all forget about it. Sure.
Then we can all forget about it. Sure.
Then why talk about her? I don't know.
Then why talk about her? I don't know.
There. All done. All done. (GROANING)
There. All done. All done. (GROANING)
They're breeding in the sea. I thought fish did.
They're breeding in the sea. I thought fish did.
This is the most lovely room. Thank you.
This is the most lovely room. Thank you.
To Phyllis Blokey. Phyllis.
To Phyllis Blokey. Phyllis.
Torch? Flashlight.
Torch? Flashlight.
Try massaging your temples. I've got to give them a date.
Try massaging your temples. I've got to give them a date.
Uses an old doctor's bag. Then, with all due respect,
Uses an old doctor's bag. Then, with all due respect,
Voiceover? The voice that sells.
Voiceover? The voice that sells.
We could even leave tomorrow. You dropped your napkin, darling.
We could even leave tomorrow. You dropped your napkin, darling.
We have a choice. Perhaps.
We have a choice. Perhaps.
We humour him, discreetly. Not exactly, Penny.
We humour him, discreetly. Not exactly, Penny.
We're talking about eels, darling. Yes, it is most extraordinary.
We're talking about eels, darling. Yes, it is most extraordinary.
Welcome back. My name's Debra. My head.
Welcome back. My name's Debra. My head.
Well, it hasn't, has it? Not exactly.
Well, it hasn't, has it? Not exactly.
What are those? Just pills.
What are those? Just pills.
What are you doing? Merely whistling.
What are you doing? Merely whistling.
What did he say about the boil? He said it's perfectly normal.
What did he say about the boil? He said it's perfectly normal.
What do you mean? Could involve certification.
What do you mean? Could involve certification.
What for? To see if he's got you in!
What for? To see if he's got you in!
What happened to him? He pleaded insanity and got three months.
What happened to him? He pleaded insanity and got three months.
What mad bollocks. It is not mad bollocks.
What mad bollocks. It is not mad bollocks.
What on earth are you doing? I'm reading a newspaper.
What on earth are you doing? I'm reading a newspaper.
What? Can you get an erection?
What? Can you get an erection?
What? I can't go into it now, but he's manic.
What? I can't go into it now, but he's manic.
What's suddenly upset you about it? The hypocrisy it represents.
What's suddenly upset you about it? The hypocrisy it represents.
What's the matter, Bagley? I've got a boil.
What's the matter, Bagley? I've got a boil.
What's the product? It's a boil in a bag.
What's the product? It's a boil in a bag.
Where is he? Upstairs.
Where is he? Upstairs.
Who are you talking to, then? God, it converses!
Who are you talking to, then? God, it converses!
Who are you? What do you want? I am your better half.
Who are you? What do you want? I am your better half.
Who's attacking you? Penelope here.
Who's attacking you? Penelope here.
Who's Filthy Harry? You know, Harry Wax. Creative.
Who's Filthy Harry? You know, Harry Wax. Creative.
Why not? Why shouldn't we have a row? Because nobody wants one!
Why not? Why shouldn't we have a row? Because nobody wants one!
Yes, of course. (GASPING)
Yes, of course. (GASPING)
You are a communist. Fuck off!
You are a communist. Fuck off!
You commies don't half talk a lot of shit. Shut up! I'm not a communist!
You commies don't half talk a lot of shit. Shut up! I'm not a communist!
You hungry? No.
You hungry? No.
You know me, John. I'd rather not. That's what I thought.
You know me, John. I'd rather not. That's what I thought.
You mean sexually? Suppose so. He had his hand in its pouch.
You mean sexually? Suppose so. He had his hand in its pouch.
You mean you're fat. Yes, I'm fat!
You mean you're fat. Yes, I'm fat!
You're being completely irrational. Irrational?
You're being completely irrational. Irrational?
You're not really trying, you know. Trying what?
You're not really trying, you know. Trying what?
You're not! Mais oui, je suis.
You're not! Mais oui, je suis.
You're staring. Not at all.
You're staring. Not at all.
You're suffering them yourself. What do you mean?
You're suffering them yourself. What do you mean?
You're talking nonsense. It's all so clear.
You're talking nonsense. It's all so clear.
You're wearing Le De. Givenchy. Oh!
You're wearing Le De. Givenchy. Oh!
'Ere, you know why I grew it? Big Granddad.
'Ere, you know why I grew it? Big Granddad.
"And because we care,
"And because we care,
"And I should know,
"And I should know,
"and I want my skin to be at its best.
"and I want my skin to be at its best.
"and I'm a biochemist.
"and I'm a biochemist.
"And if it doesn't work on your blackheads,
"And if it doesn't work on your blackheads,
"and we discovered that sometimes, the most effective way
"and we discovered that sometimes, the most effective way
"and we packed this shit into every tube.
"and we packed this shit into every tube.
"Are you ashamed of your false teeth?
"Are you ashamed of your false teeth?
"Avoid all contact. Do not inhale.
"Avoid all contact. Do not inhale.
"because I know it works.
"because I know it works.
"because I make it."
"because I make it."
"But at night, I'm a woman,
"But at night, I'm a woman,
"But the impossible becomes easy when you have no choice.
"But the impossible becomes easy when you have no choice.
"but we do try.
"but we do try.
"Does" is the word we want to hear.
"Does" is the word we want to hear.
"Go on, darling, swallow a bun."
"Go on, darling, swallow a bun."
"Goodbye. Julia."
"Goodbye. Julia."
"Hi. My name's Barbara Simmons,
"Hi. My name's Barbara Simmons,
"How do you feel, Mr Bagley?" "Much better, thank you, doctor."
"How do you feel, Mr Bagley?" "Much better, thank you, doctor."
"I want a better world than yours is, Dennis.
"I want a better world than yours is, Dennis.
"I want something better now that can't be bought.
"I want something better now that can't be bought.
"I'm not gonna try and explain it,
"I'm not gonna try and explain it,
"is Mother Nature's own richest source of Vitamin A.
"is Mother Nature's own richest source of Vitamin A.
"It may also contain a quantity of heroin."
"It may also contain a quantity of heroin."
"It's called...
"It's called...
"Just ask Barbara Simmons."
"Just ask Barbara Simmons."
"Nobody cares as much about your skin as you do,
"Nobody cares as much about your skin as you do,
"One discovered naked in the kitchen,
"One discovered naked in the kitchen,
"Put an end to the miseries of dentures.
"Put an end to the miseries of dentures.
"roots and other natural ingredients,
"roots and other natural ingredients,
"So I recommend a new product.
"So I recommend a new product.
"So we took essential oils
"So we took essential oils
"This product contains highly toxic carcinogenic poisons.
"This product contains highly toxic carcinogenic poisons.
"We called it HP Megaventure.
"We called it HP Megaventure.
"We know it's naughty, but you do deserve it.
"We know it's naughty, but you do deserve it.
"we went to an expert
"we went to an expert
"whatever the fuck it's called,
"whatever the fuck it's called,
"You could smile again with confidence.
"You could smile again with confidence.
(BIRDSONG)
(BIRDSONG)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(CAR DRIVES UP)
(CAR DRIVES UP)
(GAGS)
(GAGS)
(GASPING) That means it can read my mind.
(GASPING) That means it can read my mind.
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GROANING AND GASPING)
(GROANING AND GASPING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(IRISH ACCENT) I suppose young girls was involved?
(IRISH ACCENT) I suppose young girls was involved?
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LIFT BEEPS)
(LIFT BEEPS)
(MUFFLED GROAN)
(MUFFLED GROAN)
(MUFFLED YELLING)
(MUFFLED YELLING)
(MUFFLED YELLING)
(MUFFLED YELLING)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS) All right, I'll get you one. But on one condition.
(SIGHS) All right, I'll get you one. But on one condition.
(SLIDE PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
(SLIDE PROJECTOR WHIRRING)
(SNORTING AND GRUNTING)
(SNORTING AND GRUNTING)
(SOBS)
(SOBS)
(TRAIN HORN BLARES)
(TRAIN HORN BLARES)
(WHIRRING)
(WHIRRING)
(WHIRRING)
(WHIRRING)
(WHISPERS) I tell you, he's absolutely barking.
(WHISPERS) I tell you, he's absolutely barking.
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
(YELLS) What do you want!
(YELLS) What do you want!
♪ Don't try to dig what we all say
♪ Don't try to dig what we all say
♪ I hope I die before I get old
♪ I hope I die before I get old
♪ I'm not trying to cause a big sensation
♪ I'm not trying to cause a big sensation
♪ Mm, well, so I smile and say
♪ Mm, well, so I smile and say
♪ People try and put us down
♪ People try and put us down
♪ Smoke gets in your eyes ♪
♪ Smoke gets in your eyes ♪
♪ Talkin' about my generation
♪ Talkin' about my generation
♪ Talkin' about my generation
♪ Talkin' about my generation
♪ Talkin' about my generation
♪ Talkin' about my generation
♪ Talkin' about my generation
♪ Talkin' about my generation
♪ Talkin' about my generation ♪ This is my generation
♪ Talkin' about my generation ♪ This is my generation
♪ This is my generation, baby? ♪ Talkin' about my... ♪
♪ This is my generation, baby? ♪ Talkin' about my... ♪
♪ To think they would doubt my love
♪ To think they would doubt my love
♪ Why don't you all just fade away?
♪ Why don't you all just fade away?
♪ Yet today, my love has gone away
♪ Yet today, my love has gone away

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