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Liar Liar (1997) "Liar Liar" is a hilarious comedy film released in 1997, directed by Tom Shadyac and starring the incredible

Liar Liar (1997)

"Liar Liar" is a hilarious comedy film released in 1997, directed by Tom Shadyac and starring the incredible Jim Carrey in the lead role. Known for his uncanny ability to blend physical comedy with over-the-top acting, Carrey delivers a standout performance in this zany and lighthearted movie.

The film revolves around Fletcher Reede (played by Carrey), a charismatic lawyer who has a knack for bending the truth. Fletcher's dishonesty has cost him valuable relationships, including that with his ex-wife Audrey, portrayed by Maura Tierney. However, everything changes when Fletcher's young son Max, brilliantly played by Justin Cooper, makes a birthday wish that his father must tell the truth for an entire day.

From that moment onward, chaos and hilarity ensue as Fletcher, now unable to lie, navigates his way through various personal and professional situations. Jim Carrey's physical comedy skills are on full display as he exaggerates every suppressed truth, resulting in gut-busting laughter. Whether he's blurting out embarrassing observations or comically blurting out the truth in court, Carrey's performance is an absolute treat to watch.

The film features an ensemble cast that showcases great chemistry with Carrey. Actor Cary Elwes plays the charming and conniving Jerry, Fletcher's rival lawyer. Elwes adds an extra layer of wit and sophistication to the film's comedic moments, bouncing off Carrey's energy flawlessly. Additionally, the talented Swoosie Kurtz portrays Dana Appleton, a woman who becomes the object of Fletcher's affections and whose personal life he hilariously uncovers.

"Liar Liar" is a rollercoaster of laughter from start to finish. The screenplay, written by Paul Guay and Stephen Mazur, cleverly intertwines physical comedy with heartfelt moments that explore the importance of truthfulness and family relationships. The film's rapid pacing keeps audiences engaged, while Carrey's comedic brilliance ensures that laughter never ceases.

If you're looking to revisit this classic comedy or experience it for the first time, look no further. You can easily play and download the sounds of "Liar Liar" here. From Jim Carrey's iconic catchphrases to the uproarious courtroom scenes, these sounds perfectly capture the essence of the film and are sure to bring smiles and laughter to your day. So grab some popcorn, get comfortable, and get ready for an unforgettable comedy experience with "Liar Liar"!

Please note that the availability to play and download sounds from the film may vary depending on legal distribution channels and regulations in your region.

A A liar ? Oh, l'm sure you don't mean a liar.
A A liar ? Oh, l'm sure you don't mean a liar.
A belligerent old fart ! A steaming pile of cow dung ! Figuratively speaking.
A belligerent old fart ! A steaming pile of cow dung ! Figuratively speaking.
A belligerent old fart. A worthless, steaming pile of cow dung.
A belligerent old fart. A worthless, steaming pile of cow dung.
A couple of reporters want to talk about your big win.
A couple of reporters want to talk about your big win.
A desperate fool at the end of his pitiful rope !
A desperate fool at the end of his pitiful rope !
A goose.
A goose.
A hospital to run.
A hospital to run.
A male visitor arrive and stay from one to four hours.
A male visitor arrive and stay from one to four hours.
A partner right now, hmm ?
A partner right now, hmm ?
A test. Something small.
A test. Something small.
Aah !
Aah !
About 6'2", 180 pounds, big teeth, kind of gangly.
About 6'2", 180 pounds, big teeth, kind of gangly.
Actually, something has come up. l've
Actually, something has come up. l've
After all that, your husband wants to deny you...
After all that, your husband wants to deny you...
Afternoon, Counselors. Are we ready to begin ?
Afternoon, Counselors. Are we ready to begin ?
Agh ! No ! Come on ! Stop it.
Agh ! No ! Come on ! Stop it.
Ahhh, wait ! l don't know if we should do this.
Ahhh, wait ! l don't know if we should do this.
All right, hold on a minute. You can say happy birthday.
All right, hold on a minute. You can say happy birthday.
All right, it's true, okay ! l humped her brains out ! There ! Now you happy ?
All right, it's true, okay ! l humped her brains out ! There ! Now you happy ?
All right, Samantha. How much will it take to put an end to all this ?
All right, Samantha. How much will it take to put an end to all this ?
All right. But if l tell Max that you're coming,
All right. But if l tell Max that you're coming,
All right. Do it again.
All right. Do it again.
All right. Now let me tell you something.
All right. Now let me tell you something.
All right. You can beat this.
All right. You can beat this.
All this time you've been here...
All this time you've been here...
All we gotta do is lie. That sounds simple enough.
All we gotta do is lie. That sounds simple enough.
Am l ill ? That is the perfect question for you to ask.
Am l ill ? That is the perfect question for you to ask.
Am l too late ? Have you been sexually molested yet ?
Am l too late ? Have you been sexually molested yet ?
Among the other secretaries.
Among the other secretaries.
And actually it's kind of important, so maybe we could talk tonight ?
And actually it's kind of important, so maybe we could talk tonight ?
And all of which he himself is responsible for.
And all of which he himself is responsible for.
And Daddy was scared. But when she'd ask me, "How do l look ?"
And Daddy was scared. But when she'd ask me, "How do l look ?"
And here's the crazy part l actually wait.
And here's the crazy part l actually wait.
And how does he repay you ?
And how does he repay you ?
And in the great state of California,
And in the great state of California,
And l asked if you would give it to me out of your own pocket...
And l asked if you would give it to me out of your own pocket...
And l could see you anytime, but l didn't.
And l could see you anytime, but l didn't.
And l won't be able to.
And l won't be able to.
And Max and l are going this weekend to look at houses.
And Max and l are going this weekend to look at houses.
And maybe a... [ Puffs ] fraction more.
And maybe a... [ Puffs ] fraction more.
And Randy Macho man Savage in the cage of death ?
And Randy Macho man Savage in the cage of death ?
And the truth shall set you free !
And the truth shall set you free !
And then bend over and take it up the tailpipe !
And then bend over and take it up the tailpipe !
And then bend over and take it up the tailpipe !
And then bend over and take it up the tailpipe !
And then send out a notice of judgement on my win today !
And then send out a notice of judgement on my win today !
And then we'll get started.
And then we'll get started.
And this time, mean it.
And this time, mean it.
And you don't show up and l have to see that look on his face
And you don't show up and l have to see that look on his face
And you know it's true.
And you know it's true.
And you said the company would not allow it, because it would create jealousy...
And you said the company would not allow it, because it would create jealousy...
And you said the company would not allow it, because it would create jealousy...
And you said the company would not allow it, because it would create jealousy...
And you won't show up, and if l got the judgement, you'd just stiff me anyway !
And you won't show up, and if l got the judgement, you'd just stiff me anyway !
And you, Tom. You're the biggest brownnose l've ever seen !
And you, Tom. You're the biggest brownnose l've ever seen !
And your ex wife called. She wants to know when you're coming to pick up your son.
And your ex wife called. She wants to know when you're coming to pick up your son.
Antique frame from Tiffany's Tiffany's ?
Antique frame from Tiffany's Tiffany's ?
Anyway. l have a client in my office.
Anyway. l have a client in my office.
Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me ?
Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me ?
Audrey ! Wait !
Audrey ! Wait !
Audrey, it's me. Don't hang up !
Audrey, it's me. Don't hang up !
Audrey, l've been giving this a lot of thought.
Audrey, l've been giving this a lot of thought.
Audrey, wait ! The most amazing thing has happened to me.
Audrey, wait ! The most amazing thing has happened to me.
Audrey.
Audrey.
Audrey. You know how there are moments you know are critical ?
Audrey. You know how there are moments you know are critical ?
Aw.
Aw.
Bailiff, have the deputy search the building.
Bailiff, have the deputy search the building.
Bailiff, take him away !
Bailiff, take him away !
Basically, the plan is, l walk you through the tape.
Basically, the plan is, l walk you through the tape.
Be gentle.
Be gentle.
Be gentle.
Be gentle.
Because his father lied to him about coming to his birthday party.
Because his father lied to him about coming to his birthday party.
Because l believe you will buy booze with it !
Because l believe you will buy booze with it !
Because l could circle the block.
Because l could circle the block.
Because l didn't want to talk to you !
Because l didn't want to talk to you !
Because my client has not arrived !
Because my client has not arrived !
Because my scumbag attorney had a sudden attack of conscience !
Because my scumbag attorney had a sudden attack of conscience !
Because of guys like you, he won !
Because of guys like you, he won !
Because you insist on talking about Dad's bowel movements size, color, frequency !
Because you insist on talking about Dad's bowel movements size, color, frequency !
Boss ? What happened ?
Boss ? What happened ?
Boss, are you all right ?
Boss, are you all right ?
Boss, it's Skull. He knocked over another A.T.M.
Boss, it's Skull. He knocked over another A.T.M.
Boss, maybe you should just take a few days off.
Boss, maybe you should just take a few days off.
Both my legs are broken, so they can't take me right to jail.
Both my legs are broken, so they can't take me right to jail.
Break mother's heart. Done. That's it.
Break mother's heart. Done. That's it.
Brought your kids to your divorce ?
Brought your kids to your divorce ?
But if you'll excuse me, l have a class.
But if you'll excuse me, l have a class.
But it's not gonna make you happy.
But it's not gonna make you happy.
But l have this horrible pain in my arm.
But l have this horrible pain in my arm.
But l told them l'm playing tonight with my dad.
But l told them l'm playing tonight with my dad.
But l was able to make a recording of one such session.
But l was able to make a recording of one such session.
But l would like to... rephrase the question.
But l would like to... rephrase the question.
But l've heard that if you hold it, it can damage the prostate gland,
But l've heard that if you hold it, it can damage the prostate gland,
But Miranda, l won't lie.
But Miranda, l won't lie.
But not to you. You see, Max,
But not to you. You see, Max,
But she's beyond Thunderdome, because she decided to send a message.
But she's beyond Thunderdome, because she decided to send a message.
But that's not true either, is it ?
But that's not true either, is it ?
But why would any woman want to do that ?
But why would any woman want to do that ?
But you better get to the point and quick.
But you better get to the point and quick.
But you get back here immediately so we can finish this.
But you get back here immediately so we can finish this.
But you're the only one that makes me feel bad.
But you're the only one that makes me feel bad.
By dragging you through a painful litigation process !
By dragging you through a painful litigation process !
By dragging you through a painful litigation process !
By dragging you through a painful litigation process !
Can you ?
Can you ?
Can you hold ? Hello ? Mom !
Can you hold ? Hello ? Mom !
Cancel the dancing girls.
Cancel the dancing girls.
Chemistry ? Whatever it is, we can work on it.
Chemistry ? Whatever it is, we can work on it.
Come here, kids. Come on. lt's all right. Don't you worry.
Come here, kids. Come on. lt's all right. Don't you worry.
Come on in !
Come on in !
Come on, Max. lt can be anything you want.
Come on, Max. lt can be anything you want.
Come on, Mom. l want to go play !
Come on, Mom. l want to go play !
Come on, then !
Come on, then !
Commendable, Mr. Reede, but l'm waiting to hear good cause. Do you have one or not ?
Commendable, Mr. Reede, but l'm waiting to hear good cause. Do you have one or not ?
Control one nine, some idiot has hijacked a flight of stairs. We're gonna stop this plane.
Control one nine, some idiot has hijacked a flight of stairs. We're gonna stop this plane.
Control one nine, this is Tower 1511, heavy. Ready for takeoff.
Control one nine, this is Tower 1511, heavy. Ready for takeoff.
Cool ! Can we play ?
Cool ! Can we play ?
Coolest ! Do you wanna be Jose Canseco ?
Coolest ! Do you wanna be Jose Canseco ?
Court is adjourned.
Court is adjourned.
Da da da da Da da da da da da da
Da da da da Da da da da da da da
Dad ?
Dad ?
Dad couldn't tell a lie.
Dad couldn't tell a lie.
Damn it ! l completely forgot.
Damn it ! l completely forgot.
Dick head !
Dick head !
Dick head ! Priceless !
Dick head ! Priceless !
Dick with them. Got it.
Dick with them. Got it.
Did you ever not make lo
Did you ever not make lo
Did you know that the partnership committee is headed by Mr. Allan himself ?
Did you know that the partnership committee is headed by Mr. Allan himself ?
Did you wish for your mom and l to get back together again ?
Did you wish for your mom and l to get back together again ?
Ding, ding, ding ! What do we have for her, Johnny ?
Ding, ding, ding ! What do we have for her, Johnny ?
Do l dare ask you to call your next witness ?
Do l dare ask you to call your next witness ?
Do Simmons !
Do Simmons !
Do the claw to Mom ! Do the claw to Mom !
Do the claw to Mom ! Do the claw to Mom !
Do you know my client, Samantha Cole ?
Do you know my client, Samantha Cole ?
Do you know what Mrs. Cole and her male visitor did...
Do you know what Mrs. Cole and her male visitor did...
Do you know what your son was doing at 8:15 last night ?
Do you know what your son was doing at 8:15 last night ?
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God ?
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God ?
Do you want to cut the cake...
Do you want to cut the cake...
Don't ask ! For God's sakes, don't ask.
Don't ask ! For God's sakes, don't ask.
Don't you have some checks to write ? You haven't paid for them yet.
Don't you have some checks to write ? You haven't paid for them yet.
During that period, l noted that Mr. Cole...
During that period, l noted that Mr. Cole...
During these frequent... visits ?
During these frequent... visits ?
Everything you do matters, and everything you don't do.
Everything you do matters, and everything you don't do.
Excellent !
Excellent !
Excuse me !
Excuse me !
Excuse me, sir. Any spare change ?
Excuse me, sir. Any spare change ?
Fabulous. You look great.
Fabulous. You look great.
Fletcher ? Come on, honey.
Fletcher ? Come on, honey.
Fletcher, hi. Are you still picking Max up from school today ?
Fletcher, hi. Are you still picking Max up from school today ?
Fletcher, it's his birthday !
Fletcher, it's his birthday !
Fletcher, pleasure to see you. Hi, honey !
Fletcher, pleasure to see you. Hi, honey !
Fletcher, what were you doing ? Are you out of your mind ?
Fletcher, what were you doing ? Are you out of your mind ?
Fletcher's never gonna come to Boston.
Fletcher's never gonna come to Boston.
Flight number one twenty
Flight number one twenty
For this you will pay a terrible price.
For this you will pay a terrible price.
Fred, it's your duty to present the strongest case possible.
Fred, it's your duty to present the strongest case possible.
From Los Angeles to Boston's Logan Airport.
From Los Angeles to Boston's Logan Airport.
From March 6 through June 12...
From March 6 through June 12...
Garage sale. Six fifty, marked down from ten.
Garage sale. Six fifty, marked down from ten.
Gate number 123, but you'll never make it. Flight's already boarding.
Gate number 123, but you'll never make it. Flight's already boarding.
Give me a chance to be the father l started out to be.
Give me a chance to be the father l started out to be.
Go, go, go. Lupe, you keep those kids quiet.
Go, go, go. Lupe, you keep those kids quiet.
Good call !
Good call !
Good for you !
Good for you !
Good morning. Call case number BD 09395.
Good morning. Call case number BD 09395.
Good thing l was wearin' neutral gang colors.
Good thing l was wearin' neutral gang colors.
Good.
Good.
Great. You know Paul and Emanuel from across the street ?
Great. You know Paul and Emanuel from across the street ?
Greta ! Didn't it seem weird to you that l kept tellin' the truth all morning ?
Greta ! Didn't it seem weird to you that l kept tellin' the truth all morning ?
Greta ! Don't leave !
Greta ! Don't leave !
Greta ! Oh, thank God !
Greta ! Oh, thank God !
Greta, please !
Greta, please !
Greta, please !
Greta, please !
H h h h
H h h h
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear Max
Happy birthday, dear Max
Happy birthday, dear Maximus
Happy birthday, dear Maximus
Happy l'm so happy today
Happy l'm so happy today
Happy, happy, happy happy, happy, happy
Happy, happy, happy happy, happy, happy
Have never made Lo lo lo lo lo lo lo, lo
Have never made Lo lo lo lo lo lo lo, lo
Have you, uh, thought about
Have you, uh, thought about
Having sex !
Having sex !
He came to see us off. Wave.
He came to see us off. Wave.
He does the claw.
He does the claw.
He fell through the skylight, landed on a butcher's knife, cutting his leg.
He fell through the skylight, landed on a butcher's knife, cutting his leg.
He is, after all, a wonderful father.
He is, after all, a wonderful father.
He put me up to it. [ lndistinct ]
He put me up to it. [ lndistinct ]
He said he was gonna be here. He promised.
He said he was gonna be here. He promised.
He should have been out years ago, but he can't stay home 'cause he hates his wife !
He should have been out years ago, but he can't stay home 'cause he hates his wife !
He struck the child. Did you see that ?
He struck the child. Did you see that ?
He was making a birthday wish that for just one day...
He was making a birthday wish that for just one day...
He wouldn't even come over unless you reminded him.
He wouldn't even come over unless you reminded him.
He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard.
He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard.
He's really coming ! l'm gonna go change.
He's really coming ! l'm gonna go change.
He's stunned. He can't believe it.
He's stunned. He can't believe it.
He's telling the truth, Mom. He's not allowed to lie.
He's telling the truth, Mom. He's not allowed to lie.
He's... a liar.
He's... a liar.
Hello.
Hello.
Here ! l bought you a gift.
Here ! l bought you a gift.
Here you go.
Here you go.
Here's the thing. l really can't !
Here's the thing. l really can't !
Here's your raise.
Here's your raise.
Hey !
Hey !
Hey !
Hey !
Hey !
Hey !
Hey ! Happy birthday.
Hey ! Happy birthday.
Hey ! Max !
Hey ! Max !
Hey, gipper. l have something for you, young man.
Hey, gipper. l have something for you, young man.
Hey, how ya doin', creep ?
Hey, how ya doin', creep ?
Hey, l have my glove in the car.
Hey, l have my glove in the car.
Hey, l'm the victim here. You said it yourself.
Hey, l'm the victim here. You said it yourself.
Hey, need some change ? Take everything !
Hey, need some change ? Take everything !
Hey, there you are !
Hey, there you are !
Hey. Did you do something to your hair ?
Hey. Did you do something to your hair ?
Hi !
Hi !
Hi ! l wasn't really on vacation.
Hi ! l wasn't really on vacation.
Hi, Mr. Reede ! Like the new dress ?
Hi, Mr. Reede ! Like the new dress ?
Hi. l'm Max's bad father Er, l'm his father.
Hi. l'm Max's bad father Er, l'm his father.
His father couldn't tell a lie.
His father couldn't tell a lie.
His name is Jerry ! And yes, he's moving.
His name is Jerry ! And yes, he's moving.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Honorable ? [ Blows Raspberry ]
Honorable ? [ Blows Raspberry ]
How about that drink ?
How about that drink ?
How am l going to get out of this ?
How am l going to get out of this ?
How did you know l was here ?
How did you know l was here ?
How much ass do l have to kiss to make partner ?
How much ass do l have to kiss to make partner ?
How old are you now, 22 or 23 ?
How old are you now, 22 or 23 ?
Huh ? Oh. Yeah, yeah. One for sure.
Huh ? Oh. Yeah, yeah. One for sure.
Hurry up ! Move it, move it !
Hurry up ! Move it, move it !
If l described your relationship with Mrs. Cole as totally professional ?
If l described your relationship with Mrs. Cole as totally professional ?
If Mrs. Cole commits adultery, she is entitled to nothing.
If Mrs. Cole commits adultery, she is entitled to nothing.
If they're 3,000 miles apart, they're never gonna see each other.
If they're 3,000 miles apart, they're never gonna see each other.
Is not something l'm prepared to tolerate !
Is not something l'm prepared to tolerate !
Is r r r r
Is r r r r
Is re e e e e
Is re e e e e
Is that after you've provided years of faithful service and loving support,
Is that after you've provided years of faithful service and loving support,
Is this a copy of your driver's license ?
Is this a copy of your driver's license ?
Jerk off !
Jerk off !
Jerry, enjoy my wife.
Jerry, enjoy my wife.
Jordan fades back. Swoosh ! And that's the game !
Jordan fades back. Swoosh ! And that's the game !
Judge Stevens, hi ! Fletcher Reede. l'm scheduled in your court in half an hour.
Judge Stevens, hi ! Fletcher Reede. l'm scheduled in your court in half an hour.
Judge Stevens, l badly, badly need a continuance. lll ?
Judge Stevens, l badly, badly need a continuance. lll ?
Just because you bought it doesn't mean l'm right. lt's a technicality !
Just because you bought it doesn't mean l'm right. lt's a technicality !
K !
K !
Kenneth Falk.
Kenneth Falk.
L accidentally swallowed it.
L accidentally swallowed it.
L admire your courage, Mr. Reede.
L admire your courage, Mr. Reede.
L almost hit a Chevy, l sped some more, l failed to yield,
L almost hit a Chevy, l sped some more, l failed to yield,
L always want to be honest with you.
L always want to be honest with you.
L am comin' !
L am comin' !
L am not going to end up a 31 year old divorcee on welfare...
L am not going to end up a 31 year old divorcee on welfare...
L call Samantha Cole to the stand.
L call Samantha Cole to the stand.
L can't be late ! lt's my last chance !
L can't be late ! lt's my last chance !
L can't do anything dishonest until 8:15 tonight !
L can't do anything dishonest until 8:15 tonight !
L can't do it.
L can't do it.
L can't finish the question if l know the answer is a lie.
L can't finish the question if l know the answer is a lie.
L can't lie !
L can't lie !
L can't really do it that good. That's not the point.
L can't really do it that good. That's not the point.
L can't talk right now. Our flight leaves at 8:00.
L can't talk right now. Our flight leaves at 8:00.
L changed it so l could get married.
L changed it so l could get married.
L changed lanes without signaling while speeding !
L changed lanes without signaling while speeding !
L could be sitting around sometime and...
L could be sitting around sometime and...
L could lose Max forever. l can't let that happen. l love him !
L could lose Max forever. l can't let that happen. l love him !
L could lose my case, l could lose my promotion, l could even lose my job.
L could lose my case, l could lose my promotion, l could even lose my job.
L couldn't say it if it wasn't true. Not today.
L couldn't say it if it wasn't true. Not today.
L cut off the judge !
L cut off the judge !
L did it.
L did it.
L didn't understand ! Ask me again !
L didn't understand ! Ask me again !
L do ! l mean
L do ! l mean
L do.
L do.
L don't [ Growls ]
L don't [ Growls ]
L don't know whether to comb it or sc**** it off and bury it in lime !
L don't know whether to comb it or sc**** it off and bury it in lime !
L don't think l'm gonna do too well with that.
L don't think l'm gonna do too well with that.
L don't think so, Your Honor.
L don't think so, Your Honor.
L don't think you can afford me.
L don't think you can afford me.
L feel completely unprepared for this.
L feel completely unprepared for this.
L feel sorry for them already.
L feel sorry for them already.
L get a phone call ! l get a phone call !
L get a phone call ! l get a phone call !
L guess my wish didn't come true.
L guess my wish didn't come true.
L had a case l was certain would settle, and it didn't, and l have to go to court.
L had a case l was certain would settle, and it didn't, and l have to go to court.
L had so much for breakfast, l'm ready to pop.
L had so much for breakfast, l'm ready to pop.
L have no further witnesses, Your Honor.
L have no further witnesses, Your Honor.
L have something important to talk to you about, okay ?
L have something important to talk to you about, okay ?
L have to lie. Everybody lies.
L have to lie. Everybody lies.
L have unpaid parking tickets.
L have unpaid parking tickets.
L hold myself in contempt !
L hold myself in contempt !
L hope it's not partially digested !
L hope it's not partially digested !
L hope so.
L hope so.
L just have to really concentrate on this right now.
L just have to really concentrate on this right now.
L just proposed a settlement to dick with them ! [ Gasps ]
L just proposed a settlement to dick with them ! [ Gasps ]
L just wanna get to the office without being confronted by the decay of Western society !
L just wanna get to the office without being confronted by the decay of Western society !
L just wanted to be honest with you.
L just wanted to be honest with you.
L know, but he promises that he is gonna see you tomorrow.
L know, but he promises that he is gonna see you tomorrow.
L know, but this is just... wrong, isn't it ?
L know, but this is just... wrong, isn't it ?
L know, but when he does come over, Max is so happy.
L know, but when he does come over, Max is so happy.
L know, l know.
L know, l know.
L l l l l [ Clears Throat, Spits ]
L l l l l [ Clears Throat, Spits ]
L like your style, Reede ! That's what this stuffy company needs !
L like your style, Reede ! That's what this stuffy company needs !
L lost you, but please don't make me lose Max too.
L lost you, but please don't make me lose Max too.
L love a good roast !
L love a good roast !
L love my son !
L love my son !
L love my son !
L love my son !
L love my son ! l love my son !
L love my son ! l love my son !
L love my son ! l love my son !
L love my son ! l love my son !
L love you more than anything else in the world, Max,
L love you more than anything else in the world, Max,
L love you, and l'll never hurt you again.
L love you, and l'll never hurt you again.
L love you.
L love you.
L made a wish, and anything Dad says today has to be the truth.
L made a wish, and anything Dad says today has to be the truth.
L made it ! l'm late, but l made it !
L made it ! l'm late, but l made it !
L made this young man a promise, didn't l ?
L made this young man a promise, didn't l ?
L manipulated the system.
L manipulated the system.
L mean
L mean
L mean, your boobs are huge.
L mean, your boobs are huge.
L might have had to pull out my nine and bust a cap.
L might have had to pull out my nine and bust a cap.
L need you to take back that wish.
L need you to take back that wish.
L object, Your Honor !
L object, Your Honor !
L object, Your Honor, and l move to strike !
L object, Your Honor, and l move to strike !
L promise we'll be together, whatever l have to do.
L promise we'll be together, whatever l have to do.
L realize that, Your Honor, but l would really, really like a continuance.
L realize that, Your Honor, but l would really, really like a continuance.
L see.
L see.
L see.
L see.
L sped, l followed too closely, l ran a stop sign,
L sped, l followed too closely, l ran a stop sign,
L stubbed my toe on the desk !
L stubbed my toe on the desk !
L surveilled Mrs. Cole at the behest of Mr. Cole.
L surveilled Mrs. Cole at the behest of Mr. Cole.
L thought it was semiserious !
L thought it was semiserious !
L thought l could help my career by makin' her squeal. [ Screams ]
L thought l could help my career by makin' her squeal. [ Screams ]
L understand both parties have agreed to joint custody.
L understand both parties have agreed to joint custody.
L wanna go with Daddy !
L wanna go with Daddy !
L was able to take several photographs of the male visitor.
L was able to take several photographs of the male visitor.
L was hoping after being married to me you'd have no strength left.
L was hoping after being married to me you'd have no strength left.
L will lovingly wrap your nicknacks with bubble paper.
L will lovingly wrap your nicknacks with bubble paper.
L will represent Mrs. Cole aggressively and ethically.
L will represent Mrs. Cole aggressively and ethically.
L won't let you go !
L won't let you go !
L, on the other hand, do have to.
L, on the other hand, do have to.
L'd like to, but l can't. l gotta talk to you.
L'd like to, but l can't. l gotta talk to you.
L'd love to.
L'd love to.
L'd say, "Honey, you look great. You're glowing."
L'd say, "Honey, you look great. You're glowing."
L'll be here.
L'll be here.
L'll be Nomo. You can be Jose Canseco. Can we play ?
L'll be Nomo. You can be Jose Canseco. Can we play ?
L'll be observing you in court this afternoon.
L'll be observing you in court this afternoon.
L'll call you later ! [ Punching Buttons ] Hello ?
L'll call you later ! [ Punching Buttons ] Hello ?
L'll give you the raise !
L'll give you the raise !
L'll have to hear good cause, Counsel.
L'll have to hear good cause, Counsel.
L'll make it up to him, l promise. l'll pick him up from school tomorrow, okay ?
L'll make it up to him, l promise. l'll pick him up from school tomorrow, okay ?
L'll see you later, buddy.
L'll see you later, buddy.
L'll start my own firm. Do you need a job ?
L'll start my own firm. Do you need a job ?
L'll work it out.
L'll work it out.
L'll write it.
L'll write it.
L'm a bad father !
L'm a bad father !
L'm a bad father.
L'm a bad father.
L'm a brunette !
L'm a brunette !
L'm a changed man ! Just come to the courthouse with $1,000 and bail me out.
L'm a changed man ! Just come to the courthouse with $1,000 and bail me out.
L'm a dope, Max.
L'm a dope, Max.
L'm allowing this... freak show to continue.
L'm allowing this... freak show to continue.
L'm an inconsiderate prick !
L'm an inconsiderate prick !
L'm contesting custody.
L'm contesting custody.
L'm getting what l deserve. l'm reaping what l sow. l'm
L'm getting what l deserve. l'm reaping what l sow. l'm
L'm gonna help, 'cause l can't stand it !
L'm gonna help, 'cause l can't stand it !
L'm gonna take him to Fenway Park.
L'm gonna take him to Fenway Park.
L'm Jose Canseco !
L'm Jose Canseco !
L'm Jose Canseco !
L'm Jose Canseco !
L'm kicking my ass ! Do you mind ?
L'm kicking my ass ! Do you mind ?
L'm really sorry, but l just can't make it.
L'm really sorry, but l just can't make it.
L'm sorry, but l'm gonna pick you up, okay ?
L'm sorry, but l'm gonna pick you up, okay ?
L'm sorry. l hated him less than your other boyfriends.
L'm sorry. l hated him less than your other boyfriends.
L'm starved for affection. l'm driven into the arms of another man.
L'm starved for affection. l'm driven into the arms of another man.
L'm takin' this. [ lnhales Loudly ]
L'm takin' this. [ lnhales Loudly ]
L'm throwin' myself on the mercy of the court.
L'm throwin' myself on the mercy of the court.
L've been able to lie for the last half hour.
L've been able to lie for the last half hour.
L've been hearing some good things about you.
L've been hearing some good things about you.
L've been so busy, l haven't even thought about it.
L've been so busy, l haven't even thought about it.
L've got this problem on a new case.
L've got this problem on a new case.
L've had better.
L've had better.
L've slipped into the seventh circle of hell ! Thank you.
L've slipped into the seventh circle of hell ! Thank you.
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la
Last night at his birthday party, he made a wish...
Last night at his birthday party, he made a wish...
Left each day between 7:40 and 7:50.
Left each day between 7:40 and 7:50.
Let go of Daddy ! Let go of him ! Let go of Daddy !
Let go of Daddy ! Let go of him ! Let go of Daddy !
Lf l don't show up, l'll pack you myself.
Lf l don't show up, l'll pack you myself.
Lf l had told Mommy she looked like a cow, it would have hurt her feelings.
Lf l had told Mommy she looked like a cow, it would have hurt her feelings.
Lf l keep making this face, will it get stuck that way ?
Lf l keep making this face, will it get stuck that way ?
Lf l was a boxer, l would bounce those things like Sugar Ray Leonard.
Lf l was a boxer, l would bounce those things like Sugar Ray Leonard.
Lf Mr. Reede has no further witnesses,
Lf Mr. Reede has no further witnesses,
Lf you insist that l take it to trial,
Lf you insist that l take it to trial,
Lf you want to go to Boston, there's another flight leaving tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m.
Lf you want to go to Boston, there's another flight leaving tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m.
Lf you win, l guarantee you'll make partner.
Lf you win, l guarantee you'll make partner.
Listen, you bastard ! l want my money !
Listen, you bastard ! l want my money !
Ln fact, how would you like to make...
Ln fact, how would you like to make...
Ln light of this new evidence,
Ln light of this new evidence,
Ln that case, there will be a custody hearing on the 19th at 9:00 a.m.
Ln that case, there will be a custody hearing on the 19th at 9:00 a.m.
Ln the meantime, what do you say we get down to business ?
Ln the meantime, what do you say we get down to business ?
Look, here's a good example. When your mommy was pregnant with you,
Look, here's a good example. When your mommy was pregnant with you,
Looks and personality. A double threat guy.
Looks and personality. A double threat guy.
Looks like he's got his father back.
Looks like he's got his father back.
Loser ! ldiot ! Wimp ! Degenerate !
Loser ! ldiot ! Wimp ! Degenerate !
Ls there any chance of a settlement in this case ?
Ls there any chance of a settlement in this case ?
Ls this guy right for you ? He is so... not me !
Ls this guy right for you ? He is so... not me !
Ls your relationship with my client entirely platonic ?
Ls your relationship with my client entirely platonic ?
Lsn't it true that your relationship with my client is entirely platonic ?
Lsn't it true that your relationship with my client is entirely platonic ?
Lt came true.
Lt came true.
Lt completely accents your facial features.
Lt completely accents your facial features.
Lt takes more than a half hour to get through security.
Lt takes more than a half hour to get through security.
Lt was me !
Lt was me !
Lt'll be great. Hey, great gift, Dad !
Lt'll be great. Hey, great gift, Dad !
Lt's lt's a surprise.
Lt's lt's a surprise.
Lt's 8:45.
Lt's 8:45.
Lt's a bit extreme, isn't it ?
Lt's a bit extreme, isn't it ?
Lt's all a matter of willpower !
Lt's all a matter of willpower !
Lt's becoming a claw !
Lt's becoming a claw !
Lt's hard to explain, but if
Lt's hard to explain, but if
Lt's just been given a violent shove into serious.
Lt's just been given a violent shove into serious.
Lt's like they have their own little world together.
Lt's like they have their own little world together.
Lt's nice to see you too, Fletcher. Are you busy ?
Lt's nice to see you too, Fletcher. Are you busy ?
Lt's okay. lt's okay.
Lt's okay. lt's okay.
Lt's okay. You don't have to
Lt's okay. You don't have to
Lt's one of those 24 hour curses.
Lt's one of those 24 hour curses.
Making it very difficult to get an erection !
Making it very difficult to get an erection !
Mama. [ Sucking Sounds ]
Mama. [ Sucking Sounds ]
Max !
Max !
Max !
Max !
Max !
Max !
Max !
Max !
Max ! l'm coming !
Max ! l'm coming !
Max ! Max !
Max ! Max !
Max ! Max, where are you ?
Max ! Max, where are you ?
Max ?
Max ?
Max loves you. l've seen you together. You're his hero.
Max loves you. l've seen you together. You're his hero.
Max, come on. We've gotta go.
Max, come on. We've gotta go.
Max, no one can survive in the adult world if they have to stick to the truth.
Max, no one can survive in the adult world if they have to stick to the truth.
Max, you stay here with Jerry, and l'll be right back, okay ?
Max, you stay here with Jerry, and l'll be right back, okay ?
Max.
Max.
Max.
Max.
Maybe we can stop at the park on the way home and play catch.
Maybe we can stop at the park on the way home and play catch.
Maybe you can send a fax to one of your girlfriends. Hey, sorry.
Maybe you can send a fax to one of your girlfriends. Hey, sorry.
Me too, except my arm has been botherin' me.
Me too, except my arm has been botherin' me.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm. [ Roars ]
Mmm. [ Roars ]
Mmm. That was incredible.
Mmm. That was incredible.
Mom ? Dad ?
Mom ? Dad ?
Mom says we're moving to Boston.
Mom says we're moving to Boston.
Mom says we're moving to Boston.
Mom says we're moving to Boston.
Mom, Dad's taking me to see wrestling !
Mom, Dad's taking me to see wrestling !
Mom, do we have to go to Boston ?
Mom, do we have to go to Boston ?
Mommy lies. Even the wonderful Jerry lies.
Mommy lies. Even the wonderful Jerry lies.
Mr. Falk, would l be accurate...
Mr. Falk, would l be accurate...
Mr. Falk. [ Clears Throat ]
Mr. Falk. [ Clears Throat ]
Mr. Reede !
Mr. Reede !
Mr. Reede, are you all right ?
Mr. Reede, are you all right ?
Mr. Reede, it is out of sheer morbid curiosity...
Mr. Reede, it is out of sheer morbid curiosity...
Mr. Reede, l am tired and very cranky.
Mr. Reede, l am tired and very cranky.
Mr. Reede, l don't know what you're on,
Mr. Reede, l don't know what you're on,
Mr. Reede, you made bail.
Mr. Reede, you made bail.
Mr. Reede, you remember Kenneth Falk, the man from the tape.
Mr. Reede, you remember Kenneth Falk, the man from the tape.
Mr. Reede. Do we have a settlement ?
Mr. Reede. Do we have a settlement ?
Mr. Reede. Several years ago, a friend had a burglar on her roof.
Mr. Reede. Several years ago, a friend had a burglar on her roof.
Mr. Reede. You convinced me yesterday, l'm the victim !
Mr. Reede. You convinced me yesterday, l'm the victim !
Mrs. Cole, the only problem here...
Mrs. Cole, the only problem here...
Mrs. Cole...
Mrs. Cole...
Mrs. Cole...
Mrs. Cole...
Mrs. Cole... if you dare.
Mrs. Cole... if you dare.
My client lied about her age !
My client lied about her age !
My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000. ls that justice ?
My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000. ls that justice ?
My mind and my money and my money and my mind
My mind and my money and my money and my mind
My mommy is a doctor.
My mommy is a doctor.
My plan to phase myself out is almost complete.
My plan to phase myself out is almost complete.
My son hates me.
My son hates me.
N n n n
N n n n
No ! l have to be in court at 1:30 !
No ! l have to be in court at 1:30 !
No ! l'd have got him ten.
No ! l'd have got him ten.
No ! That's the thing nowadays, right ?
No ! That's the thing nowadays, right ?
No ! Wait ! l didn't know she had
No ! Wait ! l didn't know she had
No further questions.
No further questions.
No minor can enter into any legal contract...
No minor can enter into any legal contract...
No o o o o !
No o o o o !
No one can stop the claw !
No one can stop the claw !
No questions.
No questions.
No, l divorced you because l was mad at you.
No, l divorced you because l was mad at you.
No, l wished for Rollerblades.
No, l wished for Rollerblades.
No, l'm sure you'll be needing it again and again.
No, l'm sure you'll be needing it again and again.
No, l'm thinking clear. l've never been this clear !
No, l'm thinking clear. l've never been this clear !
No, Max, you don't have to go.
No, Max, you don't have to go.
No, no, no, no ! This can't happen !
No, no, no, no ! This can't happen !
No, sir ! We are not ready to begin...
No, sir ! We are not ready to begin...
No, thanks.
No, thanks.
No, we are leaving tonight.
No, we are leaving tonight.
No.
No.
No. l'd have got him ten.
No. l'd have got him ten.
Not ! ls not your relationship with my client:
Not ! ls not your relationship with my client:
Nothing ! Because if l take you to court, it'll drain eight hours out of my life,
Nothing ! Because if l take you to court, it'll drain eight hours out of my life,
Nothing can stop the claw !
Nothing can stop the claw !
Nothing further, Your Honor.
Nothing further, Your Honor.
Now l'm gonna hit him where it hurts.
Now l'm gonna hit him where it hurts.
Now l'm ready. l think you're ready. l love Max.
Now l'm ready. l think you're ready. l love Max.
Now let me get this straight.
Now let me get this straight.
Now let's see. "Weight: 105" ?
Now let's see. "Weight: 105" ?
Now listen, Max. You've gotta do something for me.
Now listen, Max. You've gotta do something for me.
Now, l just need a little test.
Now, l just need a little test.
Now, l need your help, Max.
Now, l need your help, Max.
O Oh ! Well, m me, m mine
O Oh ! Well, m me, m mine
Of raising his children they are his ?
Of raising his children they are his ?
Oh ! l see.
Oh ! l see.
Oh, come on !
Oh, come on !
Oh, damn it ! l cut him off.
Oh, damn it ! l cut him off.
Oh, Fletcher, come on. What are the odds of that happening again ?
Oh, Fletcher, come on. What are the odds of that happening again ?
Oh, for God's sake, will you give me those ? They're mine !
Oh, for God's sake, will you give me those ? They're mine !
Oh, l don't know. l should
Oh, l don't know. l should
Oh, l'm sorry. l'm all out.
Oh, l'm sorry. l'm all out.
Oh, l'm such a shit !
Oh, l'm such a shit !
Oh, man, l gotta get my car. Audrey's on her way to the airport.
Oh, man, l gotta get my car. Audrey's on her way to the airport.
Oh, my God ! That's it !
Oh, my God ! That's it !
Oh, no, don't do this ! l have a date to play ball with my son !
Oh, no, don't do this ! l have a date to play ball with my son !
Oh, no. They're onto me.
Oh, no. They're onto me.
Oh, no. They're onto me.
Oh, no. They're onto me.
Oh, right ! The job, the thing. What do you do again ?
Oh, right ! The job, the thing. What do you do again ?
Oh, shit !
Oh, shit !
Oh, shit !
Oh, shit !
Oh, thanks. l heard about your victory. Congratulations.
Oh, thanks. l heard about your victory. Congratulations.
Oh, there. That was already there.
Oh, there. That was already there.
Oh, this is the happiest moment of my entire life.
Oh, this is the happiest moment of my entire life.
Oh, those can wait.
Oh, those can wait.
Oh, yeah ?
Oh, yeah ?
Oh, yeah. Who else is gonna hit that famous Nomo slider ?
Oh, yeah. Who else is gonna hit that famous Nomo slider ?
Oh, yes ! Nice to see you again, Fletcher.
Oh, yes ! Nice to see you again, Fletcher.
Oh, you are good.
Oh, you are good.
Ohh ! Ohh ! Ohh !
Ohh ! Ohh ! Ohh !
Okay ? He's gonna pick you up from school. All right ?
Okay ? He's gonna pick you up from school. All right ?
Okay, 6:00.
Okay, 6:00.
Okay, birthday boy. Make a wish.
Okay, birthday boy. Make a wish.
Okay, l'm late. l'm sorry. l ran out of gas.
Okay, l'm late. l'm sorry. l ran out of gas.
Okay, let's define fair. Last night a five year old boy was crushed...
Okay, let's define fair. Last night a five year old boy was crushed...
Okay, Max, go ahead.
Okay, Max, go ahead.
Okay, Max, make a wish.
Okay, Max, make a wish.
Okay. Ask me something you think l would normally lie about.
Okay. Ask me something you think l would normally lie about.
Okay. Ask me something you think l would normally lie about.
Okay. Ask me something you think l would normally lie about.
Okay. Do whatever you did last night,
Okay. Do whatever you did last night,
Okay. Uh, Mr. Reede, Reuben and Dunn called.
Okay. Uh, Mr. Reede, Reuben and Dunn called.
One eighteen.
One eighteen.
One lie, and l can't say it !
One lie, and l can't say it !
One more word out of you, Mr. Reede, and l'll hold you in contempt !
One more word out of you, Mr. Reede, and l'll hold you in contempt !
One of the other secretaries called me at home,
One of the other secretaries called me at home,
One, two, three, four, five. And one for good luck !
One, two, three, four, five. And one for good luck !
Only one of which he has any evidence of...
Only one of which he has any evidence of...
Only one of which he has any evidence of...
Only one of which he has any evidence of...
Only this time, make it an "unwish."
Only this time, make it an "unwish."
Ooh ! Look out !
Ooh ! Look out !
Ooh, watch yourself. lt's the claw !
Ooh, watch yourself. lt's the claw !
Ooh, you're scared of the claw. You're scared of the claw.
Ooh, you're scared of the claw. You're scared of the claw.
Or $11.395 million !
Or $11.395 million !
Order ! Order !
Order ! Order !
Order ! Order !
Order ! Order !
Order. Order. Order !
Order. Order. Order !
Ouch ! And the ref takes a point away.
Ouch ! And the ref takes a point away.
Our case is simply this.
Our case is simply this.
Overruled. Mrs. Cole, answer the question.
Overruled. Mrs. Cole, answer the question.
Owie !
Owie !
Pardon me for interrupting. Mr. Allan, you remember Fletcher Reede ?
Pardon me for interrupting. Mr. Allan, you remember Fletcher Reede ?
Phone call ! Phone call !
Phone call ! Phone call !
Please, Audrey. Give me one more chance.
Please, Audrey. Give me one more chance.
Plus, l'm cheap ! [ Gasps ]
Plus, l'm cheap ! [ Gasps ]
Prenuptial agreements
Prenuptial agreements
Prenuptial agreements ! This contract is void !
Prenuptial agreements ! This contract is void !
Prenuptial agreements.
Prenuptial agreements.
Prenuptial agreements.
Prenuptial agreements.
Priceless !
Priceless !
Pull over !
Pull over !
Pull this thing over !
Pull this thing over !
R r royal blue !
R r royal blue !
R...
R...
Raise your right hand.
Raise your right hand.
Re e e e
Re e e e
Really ? How delightful. This way.
Really ? How delightful. This way.
Red. Red. All right ? Now focus.
Red. Red. All right ? Now focus.
Remember, when we were married, l wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were.
Remember, when we were married, l wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were.
Respondent calls...
Respondent calls...
Return the beer keg.
Return the beer keg.
Right. You'll do it next week. Mr. McKinley phoned to confirm your meeting tomorrow.
Right. You'll do it next week. Mr. McKinley phoned to confirm your meeting tomorrow.
Rollin' on the river, that's where she'd be.
Rollin' on the river, that's where she'd be.
Run, boy, run ! Save yourself !
Run, boy, run ! Save yourself !
Said you went all noble in front of Mr. Allan.
Said you went all noble in front of Mr. Allan.
Samantha Cole vs. Richard Cole.
Samantha Cole vs. Richard Cole.
Seven acts of indiscretion,
Seven acts of indiscretion,
She gained 40 pounds; there was nothing she wouldn't eat.
She gained 40 pounds; there was nothing she wouldn't eat.
She promised we'd talk about it tonight.
She promised we'd talk about it tonight.
She was only 17 when she got married, which makes her a minor,
She was only 17 when she got married, which makes her a minor,
She's the one that gets plastered and calls him a retard.
She's the one that gets plastered and calls him a retard.
Shit !
Shit !
Slut !
Slut !
So ?
So ?
So come on. Make a wish.
So come on. Make a wish.
So l'm gonna piss and moan like an impotent jerk...
So l'm gonna piss and moan like an impotent jerk...
So l'm gonna piss and moan like an impotent jerk...
So l'm gonna piss and moan like an impotent jerk...
So now they want to play. ls that okay ?
So now they want to play. ls that okay ?
So what do you say ?
So what do you say ?
Somebody beat the hell out of him.
Somebody beat the hell out of him.
Something like: Mr. Falk, isn't it true that you and Mrs. Cole...
Something like: Mr. Falk, isn't it true that you and Mrs. Cole...
Something's come up, and we need to talk.
Something's come up, and we need to talk.
Sometimes grownups need to lie.
Sometimes grownups need to lie.
Standard Community Property applies, and she is entitled to half of the marital assets,
Standard Community Property applies, and she is entitled to half of the marital assets,
Starved for affection, driven into the arms of another man !
Starved for affection, driven into the arms of another man !
Step by step, l ask you questions.
Step by step, l ask you questions.
Strep throat. Some kind of virus. What's goin' around ?
Strep throat. Some kind of virus. What's goin' around ?
Subzero temperatures !
Subzero temperatures !
Such thing as a weaker sex !
Such thing as a weaker sex !
Sure. Of course. We'll talk then. Great !
Sure. Of course. We'll talk then. Great !
Sure. The more the merrier.
Sure. The more the merrier.
Takin' lunch orders. Anything ?
Takin' lunch orders. Anything ?
Thank you ! l can't tell you how much this means to me.
Thank you ! l can't tell you how much this means to me.
Thank you for clearing that up, sir.
Thank you for clearing that up, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. [ Clears Throat ]
Thank you. [ Clears Throat ]
Thank you. l am so grateful...
Thank you. l am so grateful...
Thanks ! lt's running great !
Thanks ! lt's running great !
Thanks, son. l'm so glad my gift could bring those two together.
Thanks, son. l'm so glad my gift could bring those two together.
That heartbreaking look
That heartbreaking look
That isn't for sure yet.
That isn't for sure yet.
That l wouldn't be able to lie for one whole day.
That l wouldn't be able to lie for one whole day.
That was below the belt. Keep the gloves up.
That was below the belt. Keep the gloves up.
That wasn't exactly the answer l was looking for.
That wasn't exactly the answer l was looking for.
That would mean that you lied about your age to make yourself older.
That would mean that you lied about your age to make yourself older.
That's an open ended ticket if you ever change your mind.
That's an open ended ticket if you ever change your mind.
That's another ten grand in child support payments.
That's another ten grand in child support payments.
That's far enough, folks.
That's far enough, folks.
That's just something ugly people say.
That's just something ugly people say.
That's right ! l am incapable of lying !
That's right ! l am incapable of lying !
That's right ! You folks are meetin' soon.
That's right ! You folks are meetin' soon.
That's the funniest damn thing l've ever heard !
That's the funniest damn thing l've ever heard !
That's the magic of divorce. But it matters to Max !
That's the magic of divorce. But it matters to Max !
That's what he gets paid for. You get paid to win.
That's what he gets paid for. You get paid to win.
The boss is, uh, really ridin' me.
The boss is, uh, really ridin' me.
The boy must grow to be a warrior.
The boy must grow to be a warrior.
The burglar sued my friend. He sued my friend !
The burglar sued my friend. He sued my friend !
The Cole case is worth a truckload of money to this firm.
The Cole case is worth a truckload of money to this firm.
The color of the pen that l hold in my hand...
The color of the pen that l hold in my hand...
The color of this pen is r r r
The color of this pen is r r r
The color of this pen...
The color of this pen...
The court must rule in favor of Mrs. Cole.
The court must rule in favor of Mrs. Cole.
The fact that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant.
The fact that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant.
The gauge is broken. Rough neighborhood too.
The gauge is broken. Rough neighborhood too.
The goddamn pen is blue !
The goddamn pen is blue !
The honorable Judge Marshall Stevens presiding.
The honorable Judge Marshall Stevens presiding.
The pen is blue. The pen is blue !
The pen is blue. The pen is blue !
The strongest case possible consistent with the truth.
The strongest case possible consistent with the truth.
Then l have no choice but to rule in favor of
Then l have no choice but to rule in favor of
Then l'll finish up with dramatic questions.
Then l'll finish up with dramatic questions.
Then tonight we can rub oil in it and wrap a big rubber band around it.
Then tonight we can rub oil in it and wrap a big rubber band around it.
Then we'll just have to find someone who will.
Then we'll just have to find someone who will.
Then you and l can talk before you make any rash decisions !
Then you and l can talk before you make any rash decisions !
Then your mom told me you were moving to Boston, and l started thinking.
Then your mom told me you were moving to Boston, and l started thinking.
There's hiking and camping
There's hiking and camping
Thereafter Mrs. Cole would frequently have...
Thereafter Mrs. Cole would frequently have...
They give you so much leverage in a case like this.
They give you so much leverage in a case like this.
They need to know where the Darby settlement offer stands.
They need to know where the Darby settlement offer stands.
Think ! Owie !
Think ! Owie !
Think. Think.
Think. Think.
Thirty one ?
Thirty one ?
This case has been delayed several times, Mr. Reede.
This case has been delayed several times, Mr. Reede.
This is about all women.
This is about all women.
This is my lawyer. He's a little unorthodox.
This is my lawyer. He's a little unorthodox.
This is one of those moments.
This is one of those moments.
This is really smart.
This is really smart.
This is the mother of all promises. What time ?
This is the mother of all promises. What time ?
This man is a good father, and children are not leverage !
This man is a good father, and children are not leverage !
This time at knife point. He needs your legal advice.
This time at knife point. He needs your legal advice.
This time when l unwished it, l only did it 'cause you told me to.
This time when l unwished it, l only did it 'cause you told me to.
To have an attorney l can trust.
To have an attorney l can trust.
To yourself ?
To yourself ?
Today we're going to share what our parents do for...
Today we're going to share what our parents do for...
Trial to commence 1:30 sharp.
Trial to commence 1:30 sharp.
Twenty first floor. Men's wear.
Twenty first floor. Men's wear.
Two years ago, it was my business. But l don't have to care anymore.
Two years ago, it was my business. But l don't have to care anymore.
Ugh ! Oh, God ! l can't do it.
Ugh ! Oh, God ! l can't do it.
Uh
Uh
Uh huh, but things just keep coming up at the last minute.
Uh huh, but things just keep coming up at the last minute.
Uh huh. And it says here you were born in 1964,
Uh huh. And it says here you were born in 1964,
Uh oh. You found the claw's only weakness.
Uh oh. You found the claw's only weakness.
Um
Um
Um Oh, man !
Um Oh, man !
Um, you're not busy tonight, are you ?
Um, you're not busy tonight, are you ?
Under the circumstances, l have no choice but to recess this case...
Under the circumstances, l have no choice but to recess this case...
Under the terms of the prenuptial agreement,
Under the terms of the prenuptial agreement,
Unless, of course, you feel you can still proceed.
Unless, of course, you feel you can still proceed.
Until 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.
Until 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.
Very funny, Fletcher !
Very funny, Fletcher !
Wait !
Wait !
Wait, Audrey. Ooh ! Hold on. Wait !
Wait, Audrey. Ooh ! Hold on. Wait !
Wait. l just had an insight into myself. l'm crazy.
Wait. l just had an insight into myself. l'm crazy.
Wake up, sisters ! There's no o o o o o...
Wake up, sisters ! There's no o o o o o...
Want to look at you and hold you and play with you,
Want to look at you and hold you and play with you,
Was it good for you ?
Was it good for you ?
Was that true, or did you just not want to pony up the dough ?
Was that true, or did you just not want to pony up the dough ?
We just have to stop by the office for one minute.
We just have to stop by the office for one minute.
We'll be departing shortly, and if you need help stowing your carry on items
We'll be departing shortly, and if you need help stowing your carry on items
We'll take a short recess so that you can compose yourself,
We'll take a short recess so that you can compose yourself,
We're adjourned, Mr. Reede.
We're adjourned, Mr. Reede.
We're going to Boston.
We're going to Boston.
We're just gonna go to my office [ Choking ]
We're just gonna go to my office [ Choking ]
We're not going, are we ?
We're not going, are we ?
We're waiting. Max won't cut the cake until you get here.
We're waiting. Max won't cut the cake until you get here.
Well, Fletcher has just been telling me how much he thinks of you.
Well, Fletcher has just been telling me how much he thinks of you.
Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.
Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge.
Well, in that case, l better take a little break myself.
Well, in that case, l better take a little break myself.
Well, it's not true. Does that present a problem ?
Well, it's not true. Does that present a problem ?
Well, it's working ! l feel sorry for them already.
Well, it's working ! l feel sorry for them already.
Well, l can't remember when l've had more fun,
Well, l can't remember when l've had more fun,
Well, l hope that it was with someone very special.
Well, l hope that it was with someone very special.
Well, Mr. Reede, do we have an agreement on custody or not ?
Well, Mr. Reede, do we have an agreement on custody or not ?
Well, Mr. Reede, you may proceed.
Well, Mr. Reede, you may proceed.
Well, ours... also.
Well, ours... also.
Well, really, it's... Fletcher.
Well, really, it's... Fletcher.
Well, something else is about to happen to you. Max and l are moving to Boston.
Well, something else is about to happen to you. Max and l are moving to Boston.
Well, tell that to the kids when they're adopted... by the Manson family !
Well, tell that to the kids when they're adopted... by the Manson family !
Well, that's because you have big jugs.
Well, that's because you have big jugs.
Well, the boxes are in my car.
Well, the boxes are in my car.
Well, this is good.
Well, this is good.
Well, yeah. But
Well, yeah. But
Well, you're still young. lt'll happen more and more.
Well, you're still young. lt'll happen more and more.
What ? Wh Why not ?
What ? Wh Why not ?
What are you doing ? Call me !
What are you doing ? Call me !
What are you doing ? What is wrong with you ?
What are you doing ? What is wrong with you ?
What are you saying ? That you are incapable of lying ?
What are you saying ? That you are incapable of lying ?
What did he look like ?
What did he look like ?
What gate is flight 1511 leaving from ? lt's an emergency !
What gate is flight 1511 leaving from ? lt's an emergency !
What if l come right after court and play ball ?
What if l come right after court and play ball ?
What is he doing ?
What is he doing ?
What the hell are you doing ?
What the hell are you doing ?
What's the problem ?
What's the problem ?
What's wrong with me ?
What's wrong with me ?
What's your problem, schmuck ?
What's your problem, schmuck ?
Whatever takes the focus off your head.
Whatever takes the focus off your head.
When you get there, just stay there. l'm comin' over. We have to talk.
When you get there, just stay there. l'm comin' over. We have to talk.
Where would Tina Turner be right now if she'd rolled over and said,
Where would Tina Turner be right now if she'd rolled over and said,
Where's your car ?
Where's your car ?
Who better to guide him than Rick Rude...
Who better to guide him than Rick Rude...
Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo !
Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo !
Why do you have to take him to see that stuff ? lt's very violent.
Why do you have to take him to see that stuff ? lt's very violent.
Why don't you play in my office for a minute. Sue somebody for everything they've got.
Why don't you play in my office for a minute. Sue somebody for everything they've got.
Why don't you tell Mr. Allan ? Well, what do you think of him ?
Why don't you tell Mr. Allan ? Well, what do you think of him ?
Why should you be any different ?
Why should you be any different ?
Why, you !
Why, you !
Will you marry me ?
Will you marry me ?
Will you tell me what it says here on your birth certificate under "date of birth" ?
Will you tell me what it says here on your birth certificate under "date of birth" ?
With a pre nup and proof of adultery ? What's your case ?
With a pre nup and proof of adultery ? What's your case ?
With all due respect, this isn't about you and Mr. Cole anymore.
With all due respect, this isn't about you and Mr. Cole anymore.
With the story you came up with, l don't think we can lose.
With the story you came up with, l don't think we can lose.
With your permission, we'd like to play the following tape recording.
With your permission, we'd like to play the following tape recording.
Without parental consent, including
Without parental consent, including
Work.
Work.
Would you like anything to drink before takeoff ?
Would you like anything to drink before takeoff ?
Wow. That was a nice image. [ lmitates Keystroke ] Deleted.
Wow. That was a nice image. [ lmitates Keystroke ] Deleted.
Write it ! Write it, or l'll break it off !
Write it ! Write it, or l'll break it off !

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