Waiting... (2005) Edit

A ''to be continued...

A hit on my shit will make your eyes Chinese

A little fIoor spice makes everything nice. There you go.

About three months ago I just finished my shift, and I really had to take a piss.

AbsoIutely, sir. Yes.

Actually, more importantIy, how are you and Danielle doing?

Actually, we're still in high school.

Adds a touch of cIa

Ah, that's it. Good job, buddy. Nice one.

AIcohoIism, I'd be more than gIad to do it for you.

Ain't gonna be no bacon on the saIad, master.

AIso, if you wanna get out of the restaurant and chill out, here you go.

All I had to do was call and say, ''Hey. I'm horny.''

All right, guys. Here you go, Chet. You got a steak.

All right, see what Serena's doing right there?

All right, so I went to my mother's this morning.

All right? ReIax. I'm okay.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Attention, guests!

All right. Attention, guests!

All right. How about a little garIic saIt?

All right. How you guys doin'? Everything prepared okay?

All right. I really only have one thing I wanna talk about today,

All right. It's time to show the goat.

All right. That's all I have for you today.

All right. Then, thanks for being so mature about this and professionaI.

All right. Well, thank you, sir.

All that can be Learned in a few hours.

All you gotta do, pull down your pants real quick, show 'em the goods.

And Hey. You're not writing any of this down.

And be right over.

And bring me the check.

And by extra Iemon we mean enough for our waters and then some more.

And by the way, take whatever advice that she gives you with a big grain of saIt.

And clock mad digits

And Dean will be your waiter this evening.

And Dean, this is an expIoding offer.

And don't realize I'm doing it until someone sIaps me.

And from there

And furthermore, if I were to buckIe under the social weight of the system

And get as many women as you do?

And get to kick them in the ass.

And his mouth tasted just like buttermiIk.

And how about a couple of sundaes with some nuts on 'em?

And I hereby swear my undying allegiance to you.

And I hope you burn in hell.

And I know I don't wanna wait tables anymore.

And I might add, a hefty pay increase.

And I never get psycho!

And I will make sure corporate sends those to you.

And I'm at the urinal, just waiting for the flow,

And I'm convinced Natasha will be mine. Thanks for the advice, buddy.

And I'm gonna sing that bitch a fucking 187.

And I'm still finishing up at C.C., taking a few more classes.

And if they do, you ridicule them mercliessIy for being a fag

And it would end so quickIy, so abruptIy,

And just so you know, Hot Dog,

And make you squeeze 'em on your own cuts

And maybe when I come back we'll catch up a bit.

And she'll have a water.

And shut the fuck up!

And so on and so forth.

And tell us what to do.

And that's it.

And that's teamwork.

And the cooks, they just love it because every time

And the fact that I dumped you.

And the next time I tried to take a Ieak, I could've sworn

And then eventually to an actuaI urinaI.

And then fucking poof!

And then run the train on Amy.

And then suck my dick all in its glory

And then that's when I start hearing the voices.

And then when he looks, you call him a fag.

And there you go, foLks.

And these two fun Ioving pieces of wannabe gangster shit are Nick and Theodore.

And they know I'm having a difficult time taking a piss.

And we will certainIy do our best to make sure that doesn't happen again.

And we'll have you out on the floor by early next week.

And when employees date each other, unfortunately, it complicates things.

And when the dinner rush hits, we'll have him watch the training videos.

And with him came the penis showin' game you all like to play.

And with the other hand I'll doodle on some napkins

And you didn't even cry once, which is more than I can say for my Last trainee.

And you had to pick the day I offer you a promotion?

And you should be able to rely on one another when you're in the weeds.

And you take it and you make it fIat like paper, all right?

And you tuck it underneath.

And you! ''I don't know what to be when I grow up!''

And you.

And you're think you're so fuckin' cool because you write the schedule

And, bitch, you best give thanks before you eat my nuts

And, Let's not forget the power.

And, oh, Monty, do you remember why we stopped dating?

And/or balls which allow for more kicks.

Anyone who has anything different to say, Nick and T Dog will fucking fuck you!

Anything! Just have a fucking clue!

Anyway. Yeah. I just started my new career. They're starting me off at 48,000 a year.

Are you fucking kidding me? You know this place.

Are you gonna take the assistant manager job?

Are you gonna talk to her or hope you're never forced to make an actuaI decision?

Are you mad?

Are you okay with that?

Are you ready? Well, okay. Follow me.

As if by some form of sIut magic you'd appear. Now why is that?

As they say, membership has its privlieges.

Assistant Manager Jackoff.

Aw. Come on, now, dog.

Awesome.

Back here is the freezer. You'll find the meat

Bad news is we sing off key

Basically, I need you to be more like Dean here.

Basically, the entire restaurant was going through quite a downward spiraI.

Because at first, I really liked spending time with you.

Because I wasn't consuIted when the goddamn Laws were made.

Because it bears a striking resembIance to

Big round of appIause. He's earned it.

Birds of a feather fIock to vagina.

Blow me 'cause I'm an OG

Both have mustaches, which is a little weird.

Bus table 73 first, and then I'll give you the camera.

Busted.

But as Long as I look happy while I'm doing it,

But did you have to eat it all before you compIained about it?

But eventually, it all wore thin. I realized that your personaIity

But here are the directions to the party.

But I still have some saIad Ieft.

But I think I'd rather you just wash the fucking dishes

But I thought I'd call just to make sure.

But I'm never too busy to call you.

But if anybody asks, anybody at all,

But it offers a lot more rewards.

But it was weird.

But it's important not to act on those urges.

But remember, you have to shave it so it looks like his beard.

But thank you anyway.

But that's about the extent of it.

But the Last four times we've come here, the food was awfuI.

But the other haIfs like, ''Am I fucking nuts?''

But we're gonna get into that later.

But we've all seen the tragic end of that story.

But you can't forget this, all right?

But you know, we're Always looking for new positions.

But, dude, I'm really not in the mood for smiIing, all right?

But...

By adhering to Laws that I do not truly beLieve in,

By having sex with Natasha,

Bye.

CaIvin is chomping at the bit for this job.

Came from making fun of it later with my friends.

Can get you something to drink while you're looking at the menus?

Can you bring this to table 75? I gotta try to take a piss.

Can you do that for me, Mitch?

Can't go anywhere in the kitchen.

Carson got promoted to GM over at Riverside,

Change your fuckin' tampon and have another drink you crazy, fuckin' bitch!

Chet, Chet. I think you made a mistake.

ChIamydia. I think I might name my daughter ChIamydia.

Christy asked me to work for her, so I'm working a double.

CIose my Okay.

CIose your eyes.

CLienteIe base began dropping off.

Come here. I wanna talk to you.

Come on, baby. It's nothin' like that.

Come on, guys. This is bull crap.

Come on, man! You're wracked with regret

Come on, man. I thought you was better than that.

Come on, man. You can't be mixing Mexican and ContinentaI.

Come on, Mom. Of course I'm being safe.

Come on, you worthIess dick.

Come on.

Coming right up.

Cool?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't I been inside you?

Damn, boy. What the hell took so Long?

Damn, come on.

Damn, man. We almost had to switch to the ten second rule.

Damn, Raddimus. Does Danielle know that you like to go both ways? How does that work?

Dan wants to make Dean assistant fuckin' manager.

Dean, did you know that when Monty was a child, everyone thought he was retarded?

Dean, I wanna tell you, you did an extraordinary job.

Dean, you've been replaced.

Do I really wanna end up like Dan?

Do it.

Do you

Do you think I

Do you think you could get a feel for it outside? I need some fresh air.

Don't become an asshole like Monty.

Don't do that!

Don't ever do that.

Don't fuck with people that handIe your food.

Dude, please stop. Stop. Okay?

Duh. Duh.

Dumb ass, retarded, bomb shit props.

Eat at Shenaniganz Calvin works here

Eat at Shenaniganz enjoy your food

Either they won't sleep with you, and then there's no need to call them again,

EmpIoyees started having more fun at work. They started joking around a lot more,

Even my come's rich You fuckin' retard

Ever get tired of this place, you're looking for a new opportunity,

Everything that Dan wants me to show you, teach you,

Exactly.

Excuse me. The hooker and I went back to my place.

Exquisitely to perfection.

First of all, for the record,

Followed by a thin spread of cheese for your garIic bread.

For insuIting me I should get some free gift certificates and a key chain and a hat.

For Shenaniganz to run like an efficient, well oiled machine,

For the change necessary to be made in the restaurant.

For, oh, about 45 seconds,

Four, five.

Fresh from the taint. We like this. Good.

From here on out, Mitch is a made man.

From there, Let's see. Me and the hooker went back to my place

FrontIine stuff. Watch this. Watch this.

Fuck it.

Fuck it.

Fuck off, okay. Even if we did break up, you stand no chance in hell, man.

Fuck that, man. No way.

Fuck the detaiIs. I wanna know. Did you do it? Did you make a move?

Fuck you I'll fuck your navel

Fuck you, bitch!

Fuck you, Monty!

Fuck you!

Fuck!

Fuck! Man, no!

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck. What did she order?

Fuckin' bitch. Son of a bitch, cocksucker.

Fuckin' faggots.

Fuckin' Nick and T dog!

Fuckin', I hate her. I hate her!

Fucking asshole. What are you looking at, fuckwad?

GentIemen, we have our first officiaI bee atch of the day.

Get in here. You wanna expIain to me what the heck you were thinking?

Get off your ass and get help!

Get out! Get out of my sight!

Get the fuck out of my fuckin' face.

Give me a call when you get this.

Go. Go, go, go, go, go.

God, I can't wait to quit this job!

God, it was just a bIur of intravenous drug abuse and unprotected sex

God, that's it.

God.

Goddamn it!

Goddamn it! I hate these fuckin' cooks. I hate them!

Goddamn it.

Goddamn!

Good answer.

Good job, asshole.

Good news is dessert is free

Good stuff.

Good stuff.

Good.

Good. Now I can finish my saIad.

Goodness.

Great. Let's get this party started then.

HaIf of me is like take the job. I could really use the money. It's a smart move.

Happy birthday

Have you thought about it?

Haven't even got our A.A. degree.

He better fuckin' not have.

He didn't prewarn me at all.

He just started today, so I thought I'd give you the pIeasure

He must have made a mistake.

He set me up big time.

He'd barreI into me with that pathetic excuse for a child's penis.

He'll be cryin' himself to sleep tonight on his cock shaped pillow.

He's got his whole Life ahead of him. The sky's the Iimit.

He's just staring at it like they're old pals.

He's the new guy.

Hello, Dean.

Hello? Hey, Christy.

Hells, yes. Soon as we get the hydro, we can run this city like the fuckin' mob.

Here you go, Chet. It was nice seeing you again.

Here you go, ma'am.

Here you go, sir. Once again, I hope you enjoyed everything.

Here you go.

Here. Let me give you a hand with that.

Here's how it went down. You walked in

Hey, baby.

Hey, Bishop. Can I talk to you about something?

Hey, Bishop. This is Mitch.

Hey, Cochise, we're out. I'll see you, okay?

Hey, could you put down the ice pick?

Hey, Dan, man, we outta here.

Hey, Dan. I have a table that needs to

Hey, guys. Which one of these is medium rare?

Hey, hey, Christy. It's Calvin again. I

Hey, I don't. Hello? I don't know what's going on.

Hey, I've seen you use more than a finger.

Hey, man, reIax.

Hey, man.

Hey, man. We all had to watch it.

Hey, Monty? Could you drop off my food, please?

Hey, Rocco? It's Dan down at Shenaniganz.

Hey, Rocco.

Hey, so what was that about?

Hey, there, foLks. My name is Amy, and I'll be taking care of you.

Hey, there, foLks. My name is Dean. I'll be your waiter this evening.

Hey, there, foLks. My name's Dean. I'll be your waiter today.

Hey, there, ladies. Hi, my name is Amy, and I'll be your waitress today.

Hey, there, ladies. My name is Monty.

Hey, there, Natasha. How's my favorite minor doing today?

Hey, turn down the music for a minute.

Hey, who has a clue, right?

Hey, whoa. Amy called, she told me what happened.

Hey, you're preaching to the choir here. Know what I mean?

Hey! Dean.

Hey. Are you okay?

Hi there, foLks. What can I get you to drink?

Hi, there, guys. My name is Serena, and I'll be taking care of you today.

Hi. Here's your change. I hope you guys have a really nice evening.

His name is Timmy, and he's eight years old.

How about you? You have a good time?

How do you feel about frontaI maIe nudity?

How intelligent do you have to be to take a food order?

How many fucking times I told you, man? It's the fucking T dog, yo.

How many times can we have the same exact conversation?

How many times I told you? My name is T dog, bitch!

How much did he Ieave you?

How much did they Ieave you?

How'd you know I quit?

Hung over. I got so shitty Last night.

Hurry up.

I Always had an orgasm when we had sex.

I am offering you an opportunity to take it to the next IeveI, earn more money.

I am the walrus Koo koo ka choo

I appreciate what you're trying to do. I do.

I asked for it medium. And I wanted extra gravy on my mashed potatoes.

I attempt to make a move.

I can give small children the middIe finger.

I can hear them saying, ''What's taking him so long?

I can't beLieve how many homos we got working in here.

I can't beLieve you would do that to me.

I can't deaI with that bitch anymore.

I could practically hear what he was thinking.

I created my own penis showing game.

I don't care? I don't care?

I don't even care if he gives me a poor tip,

I don't hear any peel''

I don't know but I've been told

I don't know, man. I'm not even thinking about Amy right now.

I don't know.

I don't know. I guess it got oId.

I don't know. They don't speak EngIish.

I don't understand. I've never gotten a complaint on you.

I don't work within the exact boundaries of the Iaw,

I feel no guilt whatsoever.

I forgot you were here.

I fucked you.

I fuckin' hate foreigners! It's such bullshit!

I get this paranoid feeling there are people outside the stall,

I got a gat in my hand A pound in my tighty whities

I got all my bars.

I got more bush than High Times More rhymes than LeAnn

I gotta stop home first. I'll meet you there.

I gotta warn you. Take my car, what do you think's gonna happen?

I govern my Life around my own personaI code of ethics, and I suggest you do the same.

I guarantee you they're gonna Ieave her a fat tip.

I guess if you become manager, you won't be able to date any of the waitresses.

I had the chefs take extra special care of it for you.

I hate this fucking place sometimes, you know.

I have been here all goddamned day and you haven't Let me say one thing!

I hope you enjoyed everything. I know I did.

I hope you won't think Iess of me.

I I I sort of have a core group of friends. You have your own friends and

I just I feel like I don't wanna be

I just sat you. You're gonna Love them.

I just wanna warn you, I might be really drunk tonight.

I know it's getting crazy, but we can do it. We can do it.

I know what you're thinking now.

I know you're not gonna forget lunch with me,

I know.

I know. It's a joke.

I like a man in power.

I like the sound of that.

I like you too, Monty.

I love when your cunt is balder than Bruce Willis

I made 67 on a double.

I mean, come on!

I mean, difficuIt.

I mean, I'll stick my finger in my ass every now and again when I'm feeling squirrelly,

I mean, like, much oIder than she rightfully should?

I must say, there's nothing more attractive than tainted youth.

I need birthday singers!

I need more time.

I need you to not be such a pussy.

I never make How do you make a hundred dollars every night?

I prefer oIder men.

I promise you it won't happen again, okay?

I pull out.

I question whether you can see that by me serving food,

I quit.

I really like my teachers. Cool guys.

I really think that we'd be willing to amend the rules for you.

I really think that you need to ask yourself

I remember my first day.

I respect the Iactose intoIerance.

I saw that you guys were arguing, and

I started by getting compLetely hammered drunk. It was bad.

I swear to God, I'll never underestimate you again.

I swear, Dan needs to cIean the shit out of his fucking brain sometimes, man.

I swear, we gotta grow it, smoke it, sell it. We'd be a fucking pimp.

I think I'd like a hot fudge sundae.

I think that most tainted youths end up being perverts.

I think we really broke through there.

I think you're all great waiters and waitresses.

I thought you were a genuinely interesting guy to be around.

I turn 18 on Wednesday.

I wanna speak to your manager now, please. This is horse shit.

I want an answer by the end of your shift...tonight!

I want you to do a couple things for me.

I want you to show him around. Train him on everything while it's slow,

I was actually thinking about taking an assistant manager

I was actually thinking about taking an assistant manager

I was just trying to Let you down easy, but this is bullshit.

I was looking at other girls and getting bored. Basically, that was why.

I was so nervous I dropped this bowI of soup on a nun.

I was thinking to myself Last night, Iaying in bed, going,

I was very professionaI. You're fired.

I were to do something that was considered illegal, so be it.

I won't.

I work at Shenaniganz

I would.

I wouldn't even have time to feel any sort of

I write the book, okay?

I'd be preserving the rights our forefathers fought and died for, right?

I'd like to offer the job to you.

I'll be there in a few minutes, okay?

I'll bring my manager card, and we'll just eat for free.

I'll eat that pussy like Jeffrey Dahmer

I'll fuckin' cap her Don't she know I'm a rapper

I'll have the motherfucker on the carpet. I fucked that bitch!

I'll make sure to give you directions.

I'll pull out my heater and boom, bye bye

I'll pull out my motherfuckin' shotty.

I'll pull your fuckin' card You ready, willin' and able

I'll see you at work, okay?

I'll try the other hand maybe.

I'm about this cIose to swearing off men aItogether.

I'm definitely gonna do somethin'.

I'm gIad he came in. I really am.

I'm gonna I'm gonna change.

I'm gonna fire you faster than you can say, ''Yo, MTV Raps.''

I'm gonna get this fixed for you right away.

I'm gonna go home and change

I'm gonna go through the positions with you. The first one's the easiest.

I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!

I'm having a really bad day, Dan, and that guy caught me at the worst possible moment.

I'm hor nay but you fuckin' sluts bore me

I'm not hung over.

I'm only a minor for another week.

I'm really fucked up.

I'm sorry. Go ahead.

I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it better?

I'm surprised you didn't give those guys a Iap dance.

I'm truly sorry for the inconvenience.

I've been thinking about your pubIic bathroom phobia.

Ied to an even Iower store morale.

If heterosexual men can't show their cocks to each other,

If I become an assistant manager,

If I was that bad, then why were you at my house every night?

If they look, they get three kicks, all right?

If they look, you get to kick 'em in the ass once.

If we're gonna beat Last year's numbers, I need you to be more hands on.

If you do come back, this job won't be here for you.

If you do everything right, I will.

If you don't humiIiate them for being a fucking meatcake.

If you upset the busboys, they're not gonna care if your table's ready.

If you wanna work here,

In a sense,

In one second, it all just kind of snapped into perspective.

In retrospect, I think I might've been mistaken.

In this restaurant,

InsuIting a customer like that?

Is it any wonder why you still date girls in high school?

Is look deep inside yourself and figure out if you can take an eyeful of that.

Is somethin' wrong?

Is that little extra.

Is that what you're saying?

Is there anything I can get you to drink while you're looking at the menus?

Is to get the other participants to unknowingIy look at your testicles and/or penis.

Is...Natasha...here?

It is cool.

It is our goal to maintain the absolute highest standard in all aspects

It takes a lot of power to command the respect of everybody at the restaurant.

It's It's so

It's a must that everyone act as a team.

It's crazy. Mitch, cherry popping time.

It's go time, Mitch.

It's good in the sense that I can take walks in my underwear.

It's historicl

It's just one more step towards permanence.

It's like it's an exercise in retarded homophobic futiIity.

It's like we're stuck in a time paradox

It's not that I'm not interested, I just

It's okay. There's nothing wrong with that.

It's the stupid childproof Iighters.

It's true. You just treat me like a piece of meat.

It's what?

It's your last chance, I'll cut your retinas It's your last glance

Jesus, I'm just gIad my mom's not like that.

Jesus.

Join the fuckin' army or something!

Just 'cause I dress slutty doesn't mean I am slutty.

Just because some oId fuck boy cIassmate graduated college?

Just checking.

Just give me the food.

Just pee.

Just starting to work the double.

Leave no mental stone unturned.

Let me ask you something. How hard is your job?

Let me describe Monty's amazing sexuaI prowess.

Let me do it.

Let me get you another drink.

Let me give you my card.

Let me know if you need anything, guys.

Let me tell you something. My trainer, that bastard,

Let us selze the day!

Let's get out there, take care of our guests.

Let's go out there, Let's ceIebrate,

Let's have a great shift.

Let's just get totally fucking annihiIated, hammered ass drunk

Let's just keep that on the DL. I'm all about Iow expectations.

Let's put that extra just that little extra back in extraordinary.

Let's talk about that T Dog one more time!

Let's think about it. If you upset the hostess, she's not gonna seat you.

Like that bitch needs to be eating dessert anyway.

Like that's ever stopped you before.

Like they don't know how to tip? Oh, they know.

Like to play this little game that invoIves fIashing their genitaIia to each other.

Listen, man. You got nothing to worry about. It's just a game.

Look

Look at the Log, bitch.

Look at the scowI on that woman's face.

Look at this place! It's fucking dead.

Look, I just thought maybe you needed it more than I do.

Look, look. Stop, stop.

Look, man, we're all sick. All right?

Look, well, you guys, I'm feelin' good.

Ma'am, I don't doubt the steak was overcooked,

Ma'am, you're absoIutely right, and I apoLogize.

Maintenance fees are really Iow. I like that.

Mama said they'd take me anywhere.

Mama said they's my magic shoes.

Maybe they're Laughing about you when they're really not?

Maybe. I don't really like the boys at my school.

Me? What the fuck did I do to you, man?

Metaphorically speaking, that is.

Minding my own business.

Mitch, I want you to know that you did a really great job today.

Mitch, just Listen to what Monty says today,

Mitch! Mitch! Stop, please.

Monty with the assist!

Morbid, accidentaI amusement towards his ''technique,''

More than fuckin' Snoop Dogg.

My mom tries to ground me I'm gonna slap her

My mother told me he graduated with his bachelor's degree in electrical engineering.

My name is T dog, bitch! My name is T dog, bitch!

My wallets are thick and here's the thing, you dumb bitch

Nancy Miller and her son Chet. You remember Chet Miller, don't you?

No bacon on the salad

No bacon. Oh, no, no. Oh, no, no. please. Oh.

No fucking way.

No problem.

No problem.

No, I was kiddin'. You don't really owe me anything.

No, I'm not. No, I was just

No, instead, nameIess, faceIess poIiticians,

No, it didn't work either.

No, no. Stop. Stop.

No, that's it. Do not Do not call me back.

No, you fucking idiot! I've worked at a restaurant my whole Life.

No, you're fired!

No? Why?

No.

No.

No. No, I'm not.

No. That's for you. That's your tip.

None of you!

Not just any piece of meat, baby. A prime rib.

Not on my watch.

Not only do they want you to urinate,

Nothin' sets off the fIavor of a steak like some ketchup.

Now let's go take a look at our problem back in the kitchen.

Now the Last one. The Last one is called ''The Goat.''

Now there are rules to the game different variations on how to show your dick

Now, come back to the party.

Now, if you don't get your asses out front and start doing some work,

Now, look. The main thing to remember

Now, once again, you take the time to appreciate this.

Now, see yourself urinating, Calvin.

Of course, Mama used to beat me with a rubber hose, call me a retard.

Of expIaining the finer points of the game to him.

Of why we've had so much success.

Oh, and Monty, just so you know,

Oh, and you!

Oh, and, oh, yeah.

Oh, bro, that ain't right, man.

Oh, but haven't you sIept with him the past five nights?

Oh, but poor, Amy. She's a different story.

Oh, by the way, CaI.

Oh, come on, guys. She wasn't that bad, was she?

Oh, God, Natasha, you're gonna have to stop that. You're making it hard.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Does that thing have its shots?

Oh, God. How pissed are you?

Oh, hey, Dean. I heard Dan yelling at you. It was kind of crazy.

Oh, hey.

Oh, it's ladies' time.

Oh, Let's see. Medium, medium rare.

Oh, man, look what I did. I'm all thumbs today.

Oh, man. You look really pissed.

Oh, my God.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Oh, the brain!

Oh, virgin bIood. Follow me.

Oh, well, would you like me to take the food back and bring it out in a few minutes?

Oh, what a coincidence. Every time I look at you,

Oh, what the fuck ever!

Oh, what's that, jeaIousy?

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Bang. Pow! Pow! Pow!

Oh, yeah. I remember Chet. Yeah.

Oh! As if that somehow negates the fact that once we got past foreplay,

Oh.

Oh. Right. Sorry, Calvin.

Okay, baby doll, you're definitely coming, right?

Okay, Dan, I'm just Ieaving now.

Okay, don't just fucking pull down your pants and say, ''Look at my dick!''

Okay, he wanted the jumbo shrimp with baked potato, and she wanted the

Okay, hey, gang. Listen up.

Okay, I Why are you telling me this?

Okay, I am so ready to get stupid.

Okay, I am sorry,

Okay, I'm sorry. Did you wanna hear what I was gonna say or

Okay, Mitch, you see what Dean did there?

Okay, Monty, my bitch. Kick me a fieId goaI.

Okay, NichoIas, Theodore. Boys.

Okay, now, take the time to look at it, okay?

Okay, okay. All right.

Okay, so how would you like your steak prepared?

Okay, so I'll go ahead and put your order in,

Okay, so Let me tell you about this little game we play.

Okay, so that's the Abraham LincoIn.

Okay, that's hardly sanitary.

Okay, that's the dry area, man. That's where we keep all the condiments.

Okay, then

Okay, you know what? Fine. Let's talk about it.

Okay? So

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. As soon as I find out where it is,

Okay. Bye. Bye.

Okay. For that you get two kicks.

Okay. I'll tell you why.

Okay. Okay, thanks, Bishop.

Okay. Okay, you're good.

Okay. There you go.

Okay. There's no ''me'' in ''team.''

Okay. This is for deIiveries. There's the Dumpster for the trash.

Okay. Well, I'll see you there.

Okay. What you do is you take the excess skin from your nuts,

Okay. Yeah. They got me.

On a school night? Kids today.

On the other hand, maybe she is too young.

One simple question.

OnIy 30 more minutes to go, man.

OnIy three more minutes till the ball drop, baby. Come on.

Oops. How cIumsy of me.

Opportunity is knocking at the door. If you don't wanna answer it, fine.

Or a podiatrist or a fucking electrical engineer.

Or chicken wing or whatever.

Or they do sleep with you, and then there's no need to call them again.

Or they get in trouble.

Otherwise, it don't count.

Our deserts were designed by gourmet chefs.

People just assume I'm senlie.

People with the day off aIready know.

PIease, eIaborate. Did you talk to Dan?

PIease?

PIease.

PIease. See, the store morale was beginning to sIip.

Play with your nuts, you know what I'm saying?

Point is,

Psychosomatic auditory hallucinations.

Pull up like John Gotti.

Pull your pants down, show it, all right?

Pump on a blot and have sex with hot midgets

Quit staring at my dick!

Really? What is it?

Really? Wow.

ReIax, woman.

ReIax.

Remember Chet Miller from high school?

Remember, gang. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary

Restaurant began to improve.

Right now, the first thing that you have to do

Right over here. This is the cooler.

Right.

Right. BIue cheese for you, stat.

Same sex having motherfuckers, am I right?

Second one is called ''The Brain.'' Right?

See what I mean? Perverts.

See what you come up with, okay? It's all good.

See, that's the problem with women, okay?

Seems he just graduated with a bachelor's degree in electrical engineering.

SeriousIy, Calvin, do yourself a favor.

SeriousIy, look at her. You know she has that Scooby Doo tongue.

SeriousIy?

She got this thing about dating grown men who've had sex with 16 year oId girls.

She was D.O.A. from the very beginning.

She's She's still with him.

She's my mom. She wants me to succeed in Life.

She's on a date.

Shh, shh, shh.

Shh. I'm trying to concentrate.

Shit, you know, it would be a shame if you guys broke up.

Shoot. Let's just

Sin, sin, sin I'll stick a dildo in

Sixteen.

Slice you three times Slice you three limes

So about four years.

So are you taking any interesting classes this semester?

So call me back. You know the number. Okay. Bye.

So do you think taking the assistant manager job would be like my penis showing game?

So even if they tip 15 percent I should make 10 bucks.

So for that reason

So get the fuck out my dome before I split yours

So how is everything?

So how'd y'all do tonight?

So I called your house today at 2:00.

So I need you to do me a favor.

So I really am going senlie.

So I thought I'd share with you a few key examples

So I'm told.

So is everything okay? Is something wrong?

So it's on then? We're getting the fucking hydro.

So next time you got a little down time, you find yourself a little bored,

So remember, find the solution before there's a problem.

So we can grow our own shit, yo.

So we need a new assistant manager.

So what could I get you to drink?

So what did you do Last night? I trust my little angeI

So what if there's pIenty of parking spaces? It's the principIe of the matter.

So what the hell should I do?

So where do you girls go to college?

So why aren't you and Serena still together? I liked her.

So you know when you're walking past a group of people, you hear them Laughing,

So, did you hear? I got my bachelor's degree.

So, go ahead and visuaI that for the next few weeks.

So, honestIy, you think you can handIe working here?

So, I don't know.

So, I go into the bathroom.

So, I was just callin' ya, 'cause it's kind of dead here right now.

So, Mitch, how was your first day?

So, seriousIy, ladies, why don't you wanna play the game?

So, what do you think of Natasha?

So, what grade are you in?

So, when things in your Life become stagnant.

Somebody here?

Someone here is getting old

Somethin' bad happens when you become a manager.

Sure.

Sure. No problem.

Sure. Yeah.

Swallow my nut This shit is gourmet

Sweet victory.

Take everything in.

Take your time. Yeah, don't rush, you know.

Talk about it next week or something like that.

Than going into the back to grab condiments,

Thank you for joining our family at Shenaniganz bar and grill.

Thank you, sir. I honestIy appreciate that.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

Thanks a lot. We'll see you next time.

Thanks again. Thank you.

Thanks, Bishop. I mean it.

Thanks, Cochise.

Thanks.

Thanks.

That does sound good. I'll be right back with that for you.

That is the coolest oId man I've met in my entire Life.

That is why we are always on guard for guests. You never know when

That of course, Ied to Iower tips, which in time,

That totally makes sense.

That was once, and I was drunk and it was VaIentine's day. So back off.

That was the shit!

That's a good question.

That's an understatement.

That's Floyd. Floyd!

That's it.

That's just dumb and senseless, 'cause you're only gonna be hurting yourselves.

That's like being the smartest kid with Down syndrome!

That's Naomi. And she's been working here way too Long.

That's okay. I understand how it works.

That's the computer where you're gonna put the food and drink orders in.

That's the dish area back there. This is where you pick up the food.

That's what I'm talking about. Finesse, baby!

That's why I stick to anal sex.

That's why she wanted me to cover her shift.

The doggie bags, et cetera and so forth.

The first thing we do is add a little extra gravy to the mashed potato.

The goat! The goat, you bastard!

The guy standing next to me was staring at me, and I freaked.

The hooker and I.

The Iord giveth, the Iord taketh away.

The miIk and vegetables, whatever.

The more it becomes this self fuIfilling prophecy.

The only real pIeasure I ever got from having sex with you

The penis just looks ridicuIous. It's like a shriveIed roll of dimes or something.

The penis showin' game became a cataIyst

The so called protectors of the moral majority decide what is right and what is wrong.

The time has come. Remember, product pride. Portion consciousness.

The way I see it, with chicks,

Then create your own penis showin' game.

Then drove while intoxicated to pick up this disease infested prostitute.

Then I would be extinguishing the very fire of patriotism and individuaIity.

Then I'll kill your papa to top the drama

Then I'll **** a llama to top that drama

Then when we do, what? What the hell can you do with an A.A. degree anyway?

Then you can move to a stall,

Then you figure out what's important to you.

There are people who would jump at the chance.

There he is. There's the big winner.

There is one more thing.

There you go, buddy. It's all you.

There's really only two possible things that could happen.

These bitches used to clown me Now they surround me

These guys have a deep commitment to their job.

They wanna see it.

They're Always trying to project their own vaIues on you.

They're chanting your name.

They're the only ones Ieft. They don't know any better.

Think Monty and I got a little carried away.

Think we're all just a bunch of deviant LifestyIe Iiving,

This is all temporary.

This is crazy.

This is fucking bullshit!

This is supposed to be the in between time.

This is what I don't get. How can someone be such a compLete asshole all the time

This restaurant went through quite a Iow point.

This steak is medium rare.

Those guys should be steriIized. And I'm not kidding at all.

Those guys, they Always seem to forget to tell me where it's at.

Time out. Isn't this your only night off this week?

To have the other guy look at you naked.

To you

Today's a very special occasion. It's Timmy's eighth birthday!

Told you it'd be up in a minute! Get out of my face or I'll Iose your ticket!

Touch of cIass to any meaI.

Trying to get a feel for the whole manager thing. You caught me.

Twenty minutes for two medium rare steaks? This is bullshit.

Twice!

Two bucks on a $63 check.

Two in the pink, one in the stink.

TyIa, every time I look at you, I wish I was a Lesbian.

Uh huh.

UnIess you're combing the playground for middIe schoolers,

Very important. The game Loses it's meaning

Very true.

Voices?

Wait. Did that waitress Listen to a word I said?

Wait. Hey, Bishop.

Wait. How the hell do you know about that?

Wait. Wait, wait.

Wait. You actually have to get the pussy before you can be whipped by it.

Was that me?

We always treat our guests with respect and dignity.

We are not having sex in the bathroom.

We better not have no Iate night asshole comin' in here.

We both know that you enjoyed having sex with me.

We get it, man. You're fuckin' edgy and cool. Yeah!

We had a reIationship based on orgasms.

We have just been cutting things 90 to nothing.

We haven't even graduated from community college.

We should go to dinner sometime and talk about it.

We treat each other with respect and dignity.

We'll get more fuckin' puss than Busta, more than Dre,

We're gonna run this city like the motherfucking mob.

We're the same fucking age.

WeIcome to Thunderdome, bitch.

Well, first,

Well, fuck you, whitey.

Well, good.

Well, hurry up.

Well, I hope he calls.

Well, I mean, I guess. I

Well, I want a hot, pink center.

Well, in your case, they really are.

Well, it was

Well, it's a mixed bag.

Well, it's officiaI. Now my penis is just for show.

Well, Listen. You can put that faggoty baby to bed right now.

Well, not real hard to get.

Well, okay. Girls like assholes, not women.

Well, sometimes I give small children the middIe finger

Well, then I guess I better hurry up then. I don't have much time.

Well, then. Tonight should be a good night for both of us, huh?

Well, then. Tonight should be a good night for both of us, huh?

Well, we can't go in the parking lot.

Well, yeah. But electrical engineering?

Well, you know, we were in all the same classes in high school.

Well, you're obviousIy a very intelligent young man.

Well, yours are cool. They look like business people.

What a doozy, huh? Bishop, you're gonna Love this.

What about the stall?

What are you talking about? Didn't I take you to the movies Last week, huh? Huh?

What are you, like 13, 14?

What are you, some kind of a fucking sick, demented pervert, huh?

What do you mean?

What do you want? It was a dull movie.

What makes you think I won't cut you?

What the fuck?

What the hell did I do to you, Floyd?

What the hell? They need to get rid of every singIe one of these Iousy cocksucking mother

What time are you coming over?

What would compeI a person to be such a bitch to a totaI stranger.

What would compeI a person to be such a bitch to a totaI stranger.

What you do is you take your nuts and your dick, right?

What you gotta do is isoIate your nuts with your fist.

What your Life would be like if you had been born blind.

What, are you fIirting with me?

What?

What?

What?

What? What do you mean?

What? What?

What's taking so Long?

What's that?

What's up with you? What are you still doing here?

Whatever. Anyway, this is Mitch.

When I notice out of my peripheral vision

When in reality, you know you're not even worth a bit of bullshit!

When my uncIe died, didn't I ask you to be by my side at the funeraI?

When the dinner rush hits and things start to get hectic,

When you're struggling Livin' off Ramen noodles

Where neither our wisdom nor your virginity will ever escape.

Where the hell is it? It's been over haIf an hour!

Where the hell's my chicken sandwich?

Which Ied to a raise in the cLienteIe base, higher tips

Which was basically him selzuring on top of me

While I Iaid there trying not to Laugh...or cry.

While I'm hidin' in the Shenaniganz' garbage bin

While taking the Lord's name in vain.

Whoa, Naomi!

Whoa, sorry to interrupt.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

Why aren't you in jaiI? I mean,

Why can't he just piss like a normaI person?

Why do you Always say that? I'm not

Why do you have to go home?

Why don't we make this

Why not?

Why the fuck do we need four more people on at this time of day, man?

Why the hell would you do that?

Why your mom gives you so much shit anyway.

Why? Do you think I'm gonna turn you in?

Why? Why? Why? Why?

With everybody you know crowded around you.

With it sticking out the backside. You got that?

Women like assholes, am I right?

Women, they're so fuckin' wiIy.

Would you like a baked potato, french fries or rice piIaf?

Would you turn down the fucking music for a minute! Jesus!

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. His parents must really be proud, huh?

Wow. Wow.

Wow. You don't wanna be a waiter forever, do you?

Yeah, and Let it dry out under the heat Iamps?

Yeah, and take anything that he gives you with a shot of penicillin.

Yeah, but I just get the feeling that you don't care.

Yeah, but why does it Always have to be about my looks?

Yeah, but you kept trying to get me to jerk you off.

Yeah, but you kept trying to get me to jerk you off.

Yeah, get me an extra roll.

Yeah, he was a prick, and at first I was so fucking pissed off,

Yeah, I do. Because you were oId news.

Yeah, I guess. About.

Yeah, I want a singIe shot of whiskey and a double shot of whiskey,

Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow, then.

Yeah, I've been looking at houses. It's really exciting.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, right there.

Yeah, she's a cool chick. I'd do her. Hell, I'd probabIy even pay.

Yeah, so what's the bad?

Yeah, so?

Yeah, sure. Have a seat.

Yeah, that's what the Last waitress said.

Yeah, TyIa, you're the coolest girl in the whole school.

Yeah, we sure did.

Yeah, well, being a manager, obviousIy, I know what you mean.

Yeah, well, could you get me some more ketchup?

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah, yeah! Carpe deez nuts.

Yeah, yeah. All that.

Yeah, yeah. My mother told me.

Yeah, you too, Dean. Listen.

Yeah, you wanna know what they're talking about?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. I'll see you there.

Yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That makes a lot of sense.

Yeah. Whatever the hell that means.

Yes, and we absoIutely fucking hate insecurity.

Yes, well, your father pulled out too,

Yes!

Yes! The more insecure you are the more you ask, ''Is something wrong?''

Yes. I am indeed a pervert.

Yo, and you know the bitches be Iovin' that shit.

Yo, bitch, you're fucking worthless

Yo, girl, give me the instant camera.

Yo, give me the fucking picture back.

Yo, it's almost 4:20, dog. Let's go.

Yo, man, yo! Yo! Beer run, man.

Yo, there's a birthday party in the kitchen. We're gonna take a picture.

Yo, we need to get some fucking hydroponics

Yo! What you doin'?

You One week!

You all have a tendency to start yelling and screaming at one another.

You all suck. I quit.

You are a god among men, all right?

You are being safe, aren't you?

You are the biggest piece of shit

You are the fucking man.

You call me fuckin' fake just because I bus tables

You can do it!

You can get a job substitute teaching for retarded kids or something.

You can't deny that I played your vagina like a vioIin.

You don't talk much, do you, Mitch?

You get a chance to meet new people every day.

You gonna talk to your girlfriend all night or make my drink?

You got that?

You got the baby back ribs with fries,

You got the Mandingo chicken with rice and a saIad with a side of bIue cheese.

You gotta be sneaky.

You gotta call 'em a fag, okay?

You Iost major cool points for this.

You just need to reIax and not worry so much. Okay?

You keep this up, I may just try to Iure you away from this place.

You know I give you the mad, phat, superfly, stupid dope,

You know I'm just fucking with you.

You know what? Fuck Chet Miller.

You know what? Fuck this!

You know what? I don't understand.

You know what? I'm gonna go talk to one of those high school girls.

You know what? You'd think I do. I don't.

You know what? You're too easy.

You know you girls Love it.

You know, I thought about it. I thought a lot about it

You know, if you ever want counseling in anger management or...

You know, we should probabIy feel guiIty, but she broke the cardinaI rule:

You know, you're no Longer happy with what you're doing.

You look a lot oIder than that. I would've guessed 19, 20, maybe 21.

You need to think about how this problem affects other parts of your personaIity.

You obviousIy need this more than I do.

You owe me.

You pissing son of a bitch!

You put on your fuckin' tie, and you get your fuckin' little manager card,

You really are an asshole, man.

You really wanna know how I make a hundred dollars every night?

You see that it looks all veiny and alive like a bat wing, all right?

You see, the reason that I ask is most of the guys that work here

You serious?

You should start tonight.

You shouldn't have to be subjected to that.

You shut the fuck up now. It's my turn to talk!

You sometimes get that paranoid self conscious feeling?

You start playing this weird, ambivaIence bullshit, and it makes me feel psycho.

You take 'em out, you pay for everything, and you never make a move!

You take 'em out, you pay for everything, and you never make a move!

You take care of yourself.

You tell people to do things, and they have to do it,

You think I wanna have kids? AbsoIutely not.

You think you're still in the running for the assistant manager?

You too. Okay.

You turn 18 next Wednesday, right?

You turned into the little engine that couldn't hoId his Ioad.

You two are really good together.

You want some help, bitch?

You want that assistant manager job?

You were still asleep, weren't you?

You.

You'd do that for me?

You're a bastard. So far I've made 15 percent of jack shit.

You're a good friend too.

You're a master of your craft.

You're fired!

You're fIushing a goIden opportunity down the toiLet.

You're kidding. How oId are you girls?

You're probably wondering what makes Shenaniganz such a great restaurant.

You're the coolest fuckin' guy at Shenaniganz!

You're way too sweet.

Youplot and you scheme on how to get the other person to look at your goat

Zero hour is upon us.

''Is everything okay?'' ''What are you thinking about?''

'Welser? No, thanks.

Actually, you haven't really given That's okay.

Ah, yeah. Oh, motherfucker.

All right? Yes, master. Right away, master.

All right. Okay.

All right. What about mine?

All right. All right. Cry it off.

Amy! Serena! Calvin needs our help. No.

Are you mad at me? No, I swear. I'm just going by the rotation.

Are you okay? If you're not interested No, no, no.

Are you serious? Heck, yeah, I'm serious.

But anyway, we have a good reIationship About three years ago,

Can I get an extra side of bIue cheese? Sir, yes, sir.

ChIamydia? ChIamydia.

Come on, people! We need birthday singers! Fuck.

Come on. Screw that noise. Yeah, but come on, man.

Cool. Thanks, Dan. Let me ask you something.

Dean, Amy, I just sat you. Oh, shit. What do we got?

Dean, can I have a word with you? Sure.

Dean, really, it's No.

Did you kiss her? Rub against her skin? CuddIe with her? Rub her Ieg?

Don't worry. You are too kind.

Exactly. And besides, you know,

Foreigners! I'm sorry.

Forget it. It's over. You're fucked. Not Iiterally.

Forget it. It's over. You're fucked. Not Iiterally.

Fuck you! You can't even get a boner.

Fuck! The five second rule! The five second rule!

Fuck. Hurry up. Come on.

Fuckin' piss, man! We beLieve in you!

Get the fuck out of my fuckin' face. Bitch ass motherfuckers.

Go get one of those high school girls. You think?

Great. Here you go.

Guess who I ran into yesterday? Who's that?

Has anyone seen Dean? Oh, he's in the back talking to Dan.

Has even hinted that he's aware of it? No, he's acting obIivious.

Have a good day, big guy. Thanks.

Have a seat, Dean. Thanks, Dan.

Have you talked to him about it? No. I'm playing hard to get.

He's a fucking manager. Well, he asked, so, I

Here we go. Oh, God!

Hey, anytime. Yeah.

Hey, babe. What's up, Hangover?

Hey, Dan. Hey, Monty.

Hey, would you turn down the music? Dude, chill.

HoId her hand? NippIe tweak? Anything?

How about some dessert? And here you go, foLks.

How are you doing today? Oh, I'm sIipping gradually into seniIity.

How is everything, guys? Everything's perfect.

How much did you make? A bill.

How oId are you? I'm 22.

How you doing? Good. This is Mitch. It's his first day.

I can't. Hothead.

I do pretty well. Cool.

I have to put in an appetizer. Goddamn it. Chill the fuck out!

I haven't seen that guy since high school. Well, he was away at college.

I hope you're right. I am right!

I like you, Monty. I like you too, sir.

I mean What are you doing, man?

I think she's illegal. Yeah. I've made peace with that.

I think she's illegal. Yeah. I've made peace with that.

I'd be ready to kill someone. No, you know what?

I'd like a tossed saIad, please. Oh, you're bad.

I'm gIad I'm a Lesbian. Ouch.

I'm going with option ''B''. That's my boy.

I'm gonna work on it. Yeah. Yeah, you do that.

I'm sorry. I Iost it. You're sorry?

It's all my fauIt. That would be Lovely.

It's because of this! Oh!

Jesus! Ma'am.

Let's just wait the week. Okay.

Look at the camera! Picture time.

Maybe she was abused as a child. Oh, God. I fucking hope so.

Mitch, you're coming to the party tonight? Well, yeah

My fuckin' man! Yeah, man! You like that?

No more dirty dishes I'll steal people's wishes

No, I don't need help. Shh, shh.

No, I'm still Oh, my God!

No. I was He told me. Come on, bro. I'm just fucking with you.

Not quite. Oh, terrific.

Oh, I swear, when you two are together. You're perverts! All of you.

Oh, Monty. Oh, me.

Oh, my God. Bend over, boys.

Oh, no. Hang on. I only have a small order.

Oh, yeah. I bet you would. No girl would ever play that game.

Oh, you and Monty were crazy Last night. Yeah, it was cool.

Oh! Bye, babe.

Oh. See, I recommend

Oh. Like Why don't we hang out more often?

Okay, but this is the Last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, good Iuck. Thanks.

Order up! Is everything prepared okay?

Proud of you, buddy! Hell, yeah!

Really? Uh huh. Baby, you're oozin' with sexuality.

Right around that corner. Okay.

Right. ControI.

She's baiting those poor saps. I Love Patrick Swayze.

She's in Love. Hey, TyIa.

Shit. So you have to make sure they

Shut up. So how Long have you two been

Sir, what can I get for you? I'd like a New York strip, mid rare,

So The third one, I call it the ''Bat Wing.''

So is there Mitch, go in the back, check out the cooks.

So what have you been doing? Oh, you know.

Sorry you had to hear that guy yell. Oh, it's okay.

Sorry, G. Hey, yo, bitch.

Sound good? Yeah.

Spread 'em. Let's go. All right. That's enough.

Take a look at the bat wing, bitch! Oh, it's so veiny.

Tall guy, kind of smelled like my dad's ass? That's the one.

Tell him, Amy. It's true. We Laughed a lot at your expense.

Tell me what to do. Okay, but first,

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Thanks. See you guys.

That's really cool. CongratuIations. Yeah.

That's right. You guys suck.

The brain! Ah, shit!

then what the hell are we doing here? Amen, brother.

There you go, Dean. Aw, thanks, TyIa. You rock.

Three months. Shit or get off the pot time. Yep.

to uphold our standard of excellence. Shit.

Up next, what we're gonna do How about a little guacamoIe for the steak?

Wait, I thought you said you dumped Shut up, Calvin.

Way too cute, too. Stop it. You're gonna make me bIush.

We do at work. You and me.

We got new rides Now we'll flip the switches

We make much money And don't you dare laugh

We're straight. The check's only $31. That's like a $70 tip.

Well, damn, Mitch, I Oh, no, asshole!

Well, did he take the job? I don't know. I couldn't

Well, good Iuck with that. Thank you.

Well, I agree that you're an asshole. Okay.

Well, I guess Bro, it was a rhetorical question.

Well, that's just terrific. Yeah.

What happens with every girl you like? Nothing!

What the heck Pretty fucked up, huh?

What, did he stiff you? He might as fucking well have.

What? Nothing.

What? The oId Iady at table 37 wants you to sing

What's going on with you and Amy? What's up, Obsession?

What's that? Why don't we hang out?

What's up with Christy? Oh, she's

What's up, buddy? Nothin', man. What's going on?

What's up, Poncho? Hey, Raddimus. How you doin'?

What's up? How you doin'? Those look heavy.

What's wrong? I'll tell you later.

Who are you thinking about? Chet Miller.

Why? Because you won't pull the trigger. And you're too fucking nice!

Women troubles, Amy? I just don't understand

Yeah Hey, fuck off for a second. I'll be right back.

Yeah, he You know the object, right?

Yeah, I don't really think Score.

Yeah, I heard you were working here. Yeah.

Yeah, it sounds like he's doing really well. I'll bet.

Yeah, we went out Last night. Come on, man! DetaiIs!

Yeah! Hey.

Yeah? I beLieve I have a soIution.

Yeah? Yeah, you kind of remind me of him.

Yes, sir. I'm sorry?

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Yes, we do. Wait. Didn't you take out Christy Last night?

Yikes. Yeah, but the check totaI's $63,

You gave me a hundred dollar bill. No, it's all there.

You really are an asshole. Shenaniganz.

You really wanna know why? I really do.

You think you're going to get arrested? No, no, no.

You wanna come to the party? Well, yeah.

You wanna know? Yeah.

You wanna know? Yeah.

You're a fIake. I know I'm a fIake!

You're fired! I mean, I aIready quit, so

...of our most sacred company policies

''A'', fuck you. ''B'', just answer the question.

''What's wrong?'' And the more you do that, Calvin,

''Whoa. That's a nice dick. ''

''Why don't Dean and I hang out? We're practically the same guy.''

'Cause I didn't talk much when I first started working here either.