The Nanny Diaries (2007) Edit

A Central Park bag lady I would be.

A charmed life?

A college grad, and terminally single.

A family trip has been long overdue.

A high soy organic diet.

A kind...

A little challenging. So rewarding though.

A nanny?

A phenomenon known as "going native."

Actually, I just lost my nanny Bertie,

Actually, I know a longer word.

Actually, I know the perfect place.

Actually, I'm a nanny.

Actually, it's all of you in about five years.

Actually, this job kind of chose me.

Actually, this nanny is me.

Adultery is pathologically ignored.

After a lost summer of being Nanny,

After Gagosian,

After graduation,

After my night with Harvard Hottie,

After successfully mating

After the abrupt termination of my field work,

Age... 21.

Ah, comme ci comme ca.

Aha!

Alexandra.

All I got's $100.

All I need now is my husband.

All I'm getting is a million flat.

All my money and I can't get fresh squeezed? Come on.

All right, here they are...

All right, listen up, people. This is my apartment.

All right, stop with the negativity.

All right, well, I gotta go.

All right, what about... what about Grover?

All right, you know what? Just give me the change

All right? Now let me see how handsome you look in your uniform.

All right. Bye.

Also, I was thinking, we should introduce French food into his diet.

Also, some roses arrived for you.

An amazing amazing little person.

An entire week has gone by and you haven't called me back.

An opportunity to completely duck out of my life.

And a head's up here, lady.

And break Grayer's heart.

And do this?

And European exchange programs.

And for that, I owe you the world.

And he's very very sorry.

And here you are, fresh out of college

And hopefully it'll ease up his cough and he can get some rest.

And I certainly hope that you're in a better mood...

And I have vomit all over me and there's nobody here.

And I made plans.

And I prefer him tired when I get home.

And I'm starting to think you and that lady

And I'm warning you, I won't take no for an answer.

And if you don't get out of here right now, she's gonna throw me out too.

And if you really hate me after that...

And it's only... it's only 1:00.

And just put everything in the laundry?

And most importantly,

And my roommate Lisa is away

And not answering emergency calls,

And now looking back, I don't know what to say

And once I finally let myself say it,

And once we get any closer, I won't be able to go near you.

And picking up Mrs. X's laundry.

And producing offspring,

And provide for their families.

And quietly tolerated.

And quietly tolerated.

And quit.

And still be...

And tell the nanny to give him his damn card?

And the apartment is just incredible.

And then afterwards, we'll all head over to the Carlyle

And then for a car to pick you up on the other end.

And then in the middle of my body scrub,

And this fun meal has to be our little secret, okay?

And this is what she's like after Betty Ford.

And time's running out,

And type C, the most common,

And we just let him have it.

And what is all over you?

And what's worse, every time I confront her

And where, may I ask, have you been?

And while I've been raising these strangers' children,

And why are your bags

And why I'm telling off a teddy bear is the subject

And yet, staring into those big, sad, searching eyes,

And you can dream about building sand castles?

And you obviously have become her enabler.

And you requested a day off,

And your attempts to stay young so your husband won't leave you,

And your Watsu massages

And...

And... and you like the Dior?

Annie Braddock is

Annie Braddock,

Annie, it's your mother.

Annie: "The apatosaurus, formerly known as the brontosaurus,

Annie: And here's the woman who reared me

Annie: Bonjour, Pierre.

Annie: Excuse me, sir? Sir.

Annie: How about her?

Annie: I just don't understand it.

Annie: I love that song.

Annie: Make a wish, Grove.

Annie: No naps?

Annie: So here I am a few months before the teddy bear incident...

Annie: Sorry.

Annie: Stupid stupid.

Annie: The woman featured here...

Annie: Tofu cutlets?

Annie: You excited about going to Nantucket?

Annie!

Annie!

Annie?

Annie.

Annie. Annie the nanny.

Annie's roommate Lisa introduced us.

Annie's voice: All they needed to know was that I was white,

Annie's voice: And this is how the most significant confrontation

Annie's voice: Freedom, Grove.

Annie's voice: I desperately wanted to yell out after her,

Annie's voice: In conclusion,

Annie's voice: It quickly became clear

Annie's voice: Male monogamy remains an elusive,

Annie's voice: On that spring afternoon,

Annie's voice: Please make note that from here on in,

Annie's voice: Since my job required a vow of chastity,

Annie's voice: Suddenly the world's most notorious loner

Annie's voice: The fact that I had no child care experience

Annie's voice: The other nannies had warned me about this very moment,

Annie's voice: There's a popular belief amongst anthropologists

Annie's voice: While doing field work,

Anthropologists have been known to lose themselves

Anthropology? Honey how are you gonna make a living at that?

Any man who made me feel desperate enough

Anyone?

Anyway, enjoy the rest of your lunch before I ruin that too.

Anyway, I want you to give me an opportunity

Anyway, where were we? Ah yes.

Anyway...

Anywhere you like.

Are kindred spirits.

Are people in your home,

Are you gonna use this job as an excuse for everything or what?

Are you suggesting I attend it alone?

Are you? Are you gonna take over the world?

Are... are...

Area of interest...

Arriving on track two.

As I was saying, Nanny,

As if you know anything about my life.

As if you know anything about the real world.

As it relates to your intended field.

As you can see, my husband and I

ASAP.

Ask your wife. She's the one who requested I come.

Asshole is a pretty strong word.

At all times...

At least I'd finally get to live in Manhattan.

At Mr. X's office.

Ay... (muttering in Spanish)

Be my guest.

Be young with me in the Hamptons.

Because I cannot take the additional pressure.

Because I have something for you.

Because I thought I could give my boy and my sick mother a better life.

Because the party planner I wanted wasn't available.

Because your future looks pretty fucking bleak.

Been waiting for you right up in the car there, sport.

Been waiting for you right up in the car there, sport.

Before my Parents' Society meeting,

Before we head over to the Carlyle,

Before you take the rest of the day off:

Besides, the money is great.

Bien, merci.

Big problem.

Boasts a wide variety of customs and mores.

Bonjour.

Buenas noches.

But afterwards he's taking me

But all she has to do is ask.

But before I officially surrendered to fate,

But everybody else was participating.

But for the women of the Upper East Side,

But here's an idea... why don't you try eating dinner with your child

But I desperately need to sleep in.

But I didn't really know who I was, where I fit in,

But I feel I need to remind you that tomorrow is Grayer's birthday.

But I feel really bad for her also.

But I just wanted to let you know that...

But I promise, we're gonna have a lot of fun together, honestly.

But I think he's got the croup.

But I wanted to buy you your first business suit.

But I was really hired to watch her.

But I'm attending a 2:00 lecture at the Parents' Society:

But I'm trying to squeeze in a little shopping

But it is your life.

But it was like one of those awful dreams

But l... I was supposed to have the evening off.

But Mommy pays you money and I love you.

But neither helpful nor productive.

But perhaps the most bizarre social patterns

But rather the unraveling of one such nanny.

But she left you a note on the table.

But she should have seen it coming... everyone else did.

But that's just my prep school upbringing.

But the Bairds did and Darwin got in.

But the kitchen is now closed. So...

But the truth is, I can only stay for a few days.

But what if this vacation can save their marriage?

But you probably don't recognize my face,

But you really... you can't do that sort of thing

But... but be comfortable.

By the way, my name's... (beeps)

By using the western staircase.

Bye.

Bye.

Call me when this phase of your life is over.

Can be found within the small island community of Manhattan.

Can I come in?

Can I have a nanny volunteer?

Can we at least try to have a good time?

Can you look after the kids for a minute?

Can you share with the group one particular grievance

Catching the Yankees game with my dad tonight.

Certainly wasn't easy.

Chose you? (clicks tongue)

Cigar smoking, type A pigs

Clearly this isn't working out.

Clearly, the woman's heinous.

Come here.

Come on in.

Come on inside. Let me show you.

Come on, Annie. This place,

Come on, answer me. You gonna take over the world?

Come on, don't be shy.

Come on, if your job is that bad, why don't you just quit?

Come on, one date. That's all I'm asking here.

Come on, say yes.

Come on.

Come on. The other trainees, you know,

Concentrate? You have got to be kidding me.

Conflict resolved.

Cool. What are they?

Daddy, come see my dinosaur!

Daddy, Daddy, where's my puppy?

Daddy's just tired.

Darling, I do everything. My job is a type C.

Daydreaming in the park that day,

Definitely.

Describe your work experience

Did Grayer get you this?

Didn't grow up with the staff doing everything for me,

Do a little soul searching.

Do not interrupt me.

Do you belong to anyone, little man?

Do you read to the child from "The Wall Street Journal"?

Do you think I'm crazy?

Do you think you could manage a quick shop for me?

Doll: I love you.

Don't be afraid. They're only clowns.

Don't go to Nantucket with the weirdoes.

Don't know if you remember,

Don't miss out on getting to know him.

Don't you just love Annie's new place?

Don't you think that's long enough?

Don't. Grayer, don't... don't!

Donald Trump lives in my building.

Downstairs with Manuel to store.

Dumbass.

During this period

Eat it. Go on.

Especially first names.

Et vous?

Even so, I fell asleep confident

Even so, the things you said on that tape haunt me every day.

Even though I don't have a job,

Even though I have told her time and time again that we're agnostic.

Ever.

Every day and every night."

Every once in a blue moon?

Every overtime hour I accepted,

Everybody else doesn't pull down what I do every year.

Everything I knew about nannying came from the movies.

Ew.

Except thank you...

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Figured I could get to you before she could.

Find a way to keep the boy quiet.

Fondue? Go get my dress.

For a more formal affair with friends.

For a romantic anniversary.

For Grayer's Collegiate application.

For promiscuous behavior with a boy in the building.

For the purpose of this case study,

For the purpose of this case study,

For the purpose of this field diary,

For those considering my application to graduate school.

For us to go have lunch.

For women who work all day and parent at night.

For you to just... for you to look at them.

For your own good,

French? Holy merde.

Friends of ours have a horse farm in Upper Saddle River.

Frosting fun! Yay!

Get moving or you're gonna be late.

Get ready, ladies. Here they come.

Go ahead, puppy, do your business.

Go on, sweetheart.

Go on.

God!

God.

God. Did you call his mother?

Going to a spa when your son has a fever of 104

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Good puppy!

Gosh, come on. It's one meeting at Goldman Sachs.

Grayer and his playmates are never allowed

Grayer has a temperature of 104

Grayer is never allowed to nap during the day.

Grayer is not an accessory.

Grayer just had to use the bathroom.

Grayer loves you.

Grayer still must be in a stroller

Grayer, get up off the floor. It's very dirty.

Grayer, go to your mommy.

Grayer, hurry up. Your mom's coming.

Grayer, I am not kidding. Open this door right now.

Grayer, I think you should take a nap.

Grayer, no nudity. Please.

Grayer, stop it.

Grayer: Clowns are supposed to be funny.

Grayer: Help, police! She's hurting me!

Grayer: I saw another one.

Grayer: I want to come here every day.

Grayer: I'm taking off all my clothes.

Grayer: Nanny, can we go upstairs?

Grayer: Nanny?

Grayer: Stop it!

Grayer: We're going to 'Tucket. We're going to 'Tucket.

Grayer: You're in trouble!

Grayer!

Grayer! Come here!

Grayer?

Grayer? Grayer?

Grayer.

Grayer.

Grayer's been very very very sick.

Grill fresh fish.

Grove, come on. What is wrong? Why won't you shake your booty?

Grove?

Grover, I love Grover.

Grover, just eat it.

Grover.

Growing up on Fifth Avenue. You went to Harvard.

Guess that makes sense.

Guess what else? I'm getting a puppy.

Guys like Harvard Hottie only slum it when they're in college.

Had two new men in her life.

Half a tablespoon of tarragon.

Hang up because the pacemaker isn't on.

Happened with a teddy bear.

Harlem?

Harvard Hottie: Hey, Annie, it's me,

Harvard Hottie: I'm not in right now. Leave it at the beep.

Has something to do with that boy in the building.

Have a blast.

Have plenty of time to participate

Have plenty of time to participate

He called several times this week.

He called? Why didn't you tell me?

He didn't visit Grandma last night

He doesn't care what you're wearing or what you buy him

He is... he's truly

He just... he just wants you there.

He plays with my wee monster, Darwin.

He really is a wonderful child, isn't he?

He wants to take us all to Nantucket next week.

He will demand extra time from you this week...

He...

He...

He's a little out of your league, don't you think?

He's great.

He's not complaining about anything.

He's okay now.

He's the best.

He's... he's fine.

He's... he's such a sweet...

Hello there.

Hello, Grayer. Remember me?

Hello?

Here's your final payment.

Hey, Grayer, don't... don't be sad. It's okay.

Hey, Grayer, it's your pal from upstairs.

Hey, Grover, I think the bathroom's the other way.

Hey, guys.

Hey, little man, you remember me?

Hey, Lynette, it's Annie. Listen, I need your help.

Hey, Ma, um...

Hey, that's pretty good, Grove.

Hey, would you be a sport and unlock the door?

Hey, you know what the biggest word in America is?

Hey.

Hey.

Hi, Grandma.

Hi, I'm Mrs. X.

Hi, ladies.

Hi, y'all.

Hi. Are you okay?

Hi. Two please.

High honors in business, minor in anthropology.

His acceptance is a top priority.

His father wants him to attend Collegiate

His fever's down.

His flight was canceled.

His mother didn't order him from a catalogue.

Hm.

Hmm, tired.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Home sweet home. First mission accomplished.

Honey, come here. You okay?

How about Sponge Bob?

How about this?

How is everything?

How is Grayer doing?

How's the job? How's the apartment?

Huh uh. No.

Human beings who are drowning in their desire

I am so screwed.

I am type C,

I am...

I bought this for my mother when I was 10.

I came to the conclusion that the only right thing to do

I can't be.

I can't believe this. I could get used to this.

I can't guarantee that the meat here

I can't leave Grayer.

I can't tolerate the yapping. Grayer's too young anyway.

I can't, all right? I tried.

I can't.

I certainly hope so.

I could call for advice, or a nurse even?

I did it because I wanted something better for you than I had.

I do. I feel... I feel kinda lucky.

I don't care how much it costs.

I don't get it.

I don't get some decent shut eye tonight,

I don't know what's gotten into her lately.

I don't know your name. I'm sorry.

I don't know, Mom. I just...

I don't know, you know, I just... I would love to quit.

I don't mean to be laughing.

I don't mean to rush you,

I don't mean...

I don't think right now is the time.

I don't think that having money makes it any easier.

I don't understand why you can't just live at the house for a while,

I don't want to lose the reservation.

I don't want to read this.

I expect you to have all your things

I finally get to move to the city.

I finally got to know Annie.

I finally had to fire her

I focused on finding a way into Grayer's.

I forgot to mention his name is Hayden.

I found them in the stairwell.

I guess I'm officially an asshole.

I had a really late night. But about tonight...

I had my family there and I was present and accounted for.

I hate coquilles dry. I want sushi.

I hate them and I hate my birthday.

I have a hard time imagining you in Harlem.

I have a life too, in case you haven't noticed.

I have a very good feeling about this.

I have a very long afternoon today

I have attached a list of basic house rules.

I have never lied to you.

I have to admire this corporate drag. Wow.

I have to go.

I hope this field diary has been illuminating

I imagine your unacceptable behavior

I just called the airport.

I just don't seem to have enough time for myself.

I just wanted your mother to be here for the news.

I just...

I just... I just, I got... I had to get away.

I know him from work.

I know that you work hard. I just think

I know where you live, so I'll camp out at your door if I have to.

I know you want Bertie. Bertie had to leave to get married

I know you're really busy tonight,

I know.

I left three messages and she won't call me back.

I love it. Hey, should I whip up a fondue for Mom?

I love you best.

I love you too, Grove.

I love you.

I mean, am I supposed to have this lying around the apartment till the benefit?

I mean, even the ice cream is made out of tofu.

I mean, I know it's a little much for dinner,

I mean, if you end up with us, I mean.

I mean, it's not like you're on a career path here.

I mean, should I take him to the emergency room or something?

I mean, the job is a dream.

I met Mr. X.

I met this guy who likes the same exact...

I moved here and started running the Gagosian.

I need five rolls of fabric overnighted from London.

I need you to find my wife and explain to her

I need you to get ready for the Nanny Conflict Resolution Seminar

I need you to stop at Tiffany's and pick up Mr. X's watch.

I obviously owe you a major apology.

I only had to trek across the Hudson River

I pretend to be Jefferson's nanny.

I really would, but l...

I saw you in that Betsy Ross getup.

I secretly hoped those critics...

I show up with my mom, I'll just look like a big dork.

I simply couldn't resist.

I still think I turned out to be a pretty decent guy

I suppose I forgot.

I swear, all these people eat is bean curd and seltzer.

I think I saved it out of spite.

I think it's "La."

I think it's time to address the reason for this seminar:

I think this belongs to Grayer.

I thought it would be a kind of fun and easy job.

I thought that was my room.

I thought this job was supposed to be

I told you, I can't date on the job.

I told you, this is not a lifelong commitment.

I took some time to make sense

I totally forgot it was this evening.

I used to date her too.

I want my mommy.

I was confused.

I was just...

I was raised by nine different nannies

I was suddenly terrified I'd never find the answer.

I was supposed to be here two or three years tops.

I wasn't born yesterday.

I went to Smith. And don't believe the rumors,

I will see you in the morning.

I wish my ancestors made totem poles.

I wish we could stay in 'Tucket forever,

I work with your daddy in the Chicago office.

I would feel a lot better if I could at least see where you were living.

I would give the world to be sitting where you're sitting right now.

I would have gone with jerk or bonehead.

I would like you to know why Mr. X is so upset.

I would make it meatloaf. I'm gonna borrow this.

I... I hear it's really nice there.

I... I just don't understand how someone can have everything

I... I know that I agreed to let you

I... I sing to him in French.

I... I think it's better if we talk alone.

I... I won't.

I'd appreciate it.

I'll be at the spa at Canyon Ranch in Lenox.

I'll be back, okay?

I'll call you later this week, sweetheart.

I'll call you when I get there, okay?

I'll get out of your... I'll wait in the hall.

I'll give you "Nannies Gone Wild."

I'll just have the burger.

I'll probably come up with a million excuses

I'll ride the elevator till I find you.

I'll take you there sometime.

I'll tell you about the dads.

I'll tell you what though... it doesn't touch the Jersey Shore.

I'll try to squeeze that in between cleaning up Grayer's vomit

I'll... I'll never ask you again.

I'm certainly ready for one.

I'm exhausted and Mr. X is expected sometime before 9:00.

I'm getting in the car.

I'm gonna go to my father's house in Southampton for a month.

I'm happy to report that Grayer asks for you a little bit less

I'm having another baby.

I'm here, knee deep in...

I'm Judy.

I'm just gonna spend the whole weekend in Chicago.

I'm moving to the city to go to grad school,

I'm not allowed to go on the West Side. That's a rule.

I'm not going anywhere. You know that, right, honey?

I'm not gonna be your nanny forever.

I'm not stupid. You're just gonna let me win.

I'm referred to as "Nanny" by all the people in the Xs' social network.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. It's not funny.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Do you have the time?

I'm sorry... I really think you misunderstood me.

I'm starting to wonder if you're really selfless

I'm telling Mommy. You're in trouble.

I'm the one who's been raising your son.

I'm the only nanny here. I just have to use the restroom.

I'm the Xs' new nanny.

I've got a merger I'm working on.

I've got to take some time, figure out if law school is really right for me.

I've probably gotta get going soon actually.

If by chance my report stereotypes or geographically profiles,

If for no other reason than you having

If I come back!

If I quit now, I'll ruin it

If I'd known it would go this far, I would have just turned a blind eye.

If school is ever canceled,

If you wanted to call,

Improving nanny mom communication.

In case you're wondering, your friend Lynette

In contemporary France,

In many Bedouin tribes,

In many Bedouin tribes,

In order to truly understand your own.

In Provence.

In short, I was the Chanel bag of nannies.

In spite of it all.

In the many times that I thought of Grayer,

In the very society that they're studying,

In your own words, who exactly is Annie Braddock?

Intervened.

Into a security blanket?

Is from a family of enormous herbivores."

Is it "Le Grande Nuit" or "La Grande..."

Is not a typical tribal ritual,

Is so competitive.

Is that caffeinated?

Is that everybody brings their nanny.

Is that so hard for you to understand?

Is there anything at all I can do?

Is unfortunately not Annie Braddock.

Is unfortunately not Annie Braddock.

Is... is there anything I can do?

Isn't it good?

It became quite obvious

It belongs to my daddy! I hate you. I want Bertie.

It can be very hard on me.

It can lead through a minefield.

It certainly has been for me.

It couldn't possibly end well.

It is my house.

It is not mine, it is not Mr. X's,

It is yoga hour and Mommy's on the phone.

It is... it's going pretty good actually.

It means, can you stop talking about this woman for five minutes please?

It might enhance his study of the language. So tomorrow night,

It probably slipped your mind that costumes are required,

It seemed my future was finally set.

It seems that Grayer was rejected for admission to Collegiate.

It takes just one person...

It was a habit that was pretty hard to break.

It was in our laundry.

It was too bright, Ma. All right?

It wasn't exactly a trick question.

It would be nice to have a night off, I guess.

It'll go better with this neckline.

It's a much tougher game out there for women.

It's a shame she's not here.

It's a terrible dress.

It's all in the name of freedom.

It's all right, just let it play out. We'll get to something good.

It's Annie. I haven't heard from you in a while.

It's Annie. I haven't heard from you in a while.

It's been several months since we've spoken.

It's called denial. Okay, like the river.

It's extremely important not to be late.

It's from your former employer.

It's hanging.

It's highly competitive. I'm probably never gonna get the job.

It's just that no place around here stays open this late. That's all.

It's my mom.

It's not bad.

It's not gumbo. It's Creole bouillabaisse.

It's not nice to lock people out.

It's okay, don't be. At least I'm fully dressed this time.

It's okay, don't be. At least I'm fully dressed this time.

It's okay.

It's only 9:00. You clearly wanted the evening off.

It's really good. (laughs)

It's the meeting of preliminary investment schedules.

It's work. I'll take that.

It's your life.

It's... it's just that when Mr. X is in the middle of a big deal,

Judy.

Just close the door.

Just give me a hug.

Just in case. It is 508...

Just leave that there.

Just leave the keys with the doorman.

Just remember, Grove, that money can't buy love.

Just to get on your feet.

Just... just file against this wall. Just squeeze in.

Keep 10 bucks for yourself, all right?

L... I don't know how to...

La la la la la la!

Leave it there.

Leaving their women to hunt, gather

Let go. I have to make a doodie.

Let me apologize for my feral son.

Let me get your backpack.

Let me just call you after this play date, okay?

Let me know the minute I can visit you.

Let's get out of here.

Let's just call him Harvard Hottie.

Let's just say that you missed a fabulous throw down

Let's pretend that we're in a cave.

Let's watch.

Like Mommy, you know?

Like when we met in Central Park?

Linda, Gillian, would you mind monitoring the children

Linda: Nannies, we're ready.

Listen, I'm losing cell service here.

Listen, if you change your mind, my offer stands.

Look at these guys over there.

Look, here... here is my card.

Look, I'll call you later, okay?

Look, I'm sorry that I didn't call last night, okay?

Look, if you really want to run around in grass skirts,

Low in sugar isn't the same as sugar free.

Lt's gonna be a hot one.

Lynette, I have to call you back.

Lynette: Annie, will you tell me what the hell is going on?

Lynette: I'm telling you, like the bees,

Machine: You have two new messages.

Make it snappy, dear. I'm on the last chapter.

Make sure you put that one on top.

Making calls. Where's the chow?

Man on P. A: Master in economics, minor in communications.

Man: Spazz!

Man: Where's my little munchkin?

Manuel is making you your own set of keys.

Married? She had one date and she get fired.

Mattered little to the matriarchs of the Upper East Side.

Maybe I'm... maybe I'm not CFO material, you know?

Maybe you should have a secret name too?

Maybe you're asking the same about me.

Me too.

Men: Oh.

Mm hm.

Mm hm.

Mmh.

Mmm, listen, I didn't want to say anything in front of Grayer,

Mmm!

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. He is gorgeous.

Model?

Mom, I have to go. I have some work stuff to take care of.

Mom, I lived at home through four years of college.

Mom, I told you I was gonna be so busy with work.

Mommy doesn't allow me to eat sugar cereal.

Mommy doesn't use caffeine.

Mommy has to go away for a few days to get some rest.

Mommy said you're supposed to take me to her favorite museum,

Mommy, don't go!

Mommy, where are you going?

Most of them barely speak English.

Mother: Annie?

Mother: Annie?

Mother: Get your feet on the ground, young lady.

Mr. X bought it for me for our first wedding anniversary.

Mr. X called and believe it or not,

Mr. X has arranged for a taxi to take you to the ferry

Mr. X is coming home for two days from Chicago,

Mr. X: ...in order to clean up your mess!

Mr. X: And now my mother is here so I can't go to Chicago.

Mr. X: My brother's kids got in.

Mr. X: This is of vital importance, are you aware of that?

Mr. X: Would you get off that phone

Mr. X: You know something? You are an infuriating woman.

Mrs. X is shopping.

Mrs. X told me that she left to get married.

Mrs. X, I need to talk to you about something.

Mrs. X, I...

Mrs. X: ...hear a thing I have to say!

Mrs. X: I heard through the g****vine

Mrs. X: It's just that I didn't see you at all at the party.

Mrs. X: Listen, I need some nanny advice.

Mrs. X: Nanny, lend a hand.

Mrs. X: Oh, I forgot about this.

Mrs. X: One lousy week!

Mrs. X: We should try to be calm.

Mrs. X: What exactly do you want?

Mrs. X's voice: "Dear Nanny,

Mrs. X's voice: And Nanny, one last thing

Mrs. X's voice: Dear Nanny,

Mrs. X's voice: I'm so excited to have you onboard.

Mrs. X's voice: Perhaps it might be a nice morning

Much better.

My cell phone doesn't work here.

My father traveled constantly for work.

My God.

My mom's a nurse. She came over here to help me.

My mother died when I was four.

My nanny keeps on singing religious songs to Parker

My new roomie's making gumbo.

My own child has grown up without a mother.

Nanny Cam, Nanny Cam, where are you hiding?

Nanny Cam? I thought that was an urban myth.

Nanny, don't leave me.

Nanny, I've decided to take a few days off.

Nanny, in the morning,

Nanny, please. I want you to go out.

Nanny, this is yours, is it not?

Nanny, wait!

Nanny, who was it?

Nanny!

Nanny! Where are you going?

Nanny?

Nanny.

Nanny.

Nanny.

Nanny...

Nature deals us some tricky cards.

Neither was my husband. But as it turns out,

New Jersey PATH train to Manhattan

News, what news? What in the hell is going on here?

No no no, are you out of your mind? You kidding me?

No no no, of course not. I... I'm gonna bring it down to him right now.

No no, l l... I love my job.

No one's gonna tell you how to live your life.

No tattoos. I mean...

No, Gray... no, Grayer. Don't... don't be difficult.

No, I am a mighty good runner, mister.

No, I don't know what that is.

No, it's not about getting rid of you.

No, Mommy says they're full of high fructose corn syrup.

No, Nanny.

No, of course you don't understand.

No, sorry.

No, why?

No.

No. Right now we're just hearing issues.

No... no, you must be exhausted, let me put him to bed.

Nobody warned me we were going to have a therapy session.

Not a chance in hell, is there?

Not out of the jar.

Not really. I just love to eat out.

Not to be somebody's servant.

Not unless you know a hit man.

Not until you and your husband work your problems out.

Not yet.

Note the shoes.

Now I have to go run the vacuum, okay?

Now what I would love to do

Now you told me that the extra year of preschool

Nuh uh.

Number one slice on the Upper East Side.

Obviously, I do expect you to attend.

Of all my privileges, Grayer is my greatest.

Of all that I had witnessed.

Of course I knew all the basic facts...

Of course I know a nurse.

Of course there was one tiny problem.

Of course you feel anxiety

Of course, you should refrain from entering our bedroom as well.

Of course.

Of failed communication with your nanny.

Of this field diary.

Oh boy, Calvin. Thank you so much. That looks delicious.

Oh come on. You can't find five minutes

Oh God. Thank you so much.

Oh gosh.

Oh Jesus. Okay, newbie.

Oh my God, I know that girl. Annie!

Oh my God, oh my God. Okay okay.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. Are... are you employed?

Oh my goodness, I'm sorry. Are you a little monster?

Oh no, there are some very lovely parts of that state.

Oh shit.

Oh that's lovely. Grayer couldn't ask for a better gift.

Oh yeah? What kind of work do you do?

Oh, excuse me...

Oh, fine fine, okay? After work on Thursday. Go go.

Oh, goodness.

Oh, Grayer, there you are.

Oh, Grayer! Please!

Oh, hi.

Oh, I really don't know him. He's Annie's friend.

Oh, I was just about to make some.

Oh, I'm just helping out my new friend.

Oh, I'm sure it doesn't mean anything,

Oh, Mom, I couldn't handle it anymore.

Oh, thank you, God.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, thanks a million.

Oh, that's crazy Grandpa.

Oh, wow.

Oh, you've met before in Chicago, right?

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Come on.

Oh. You look gorgeous.

Okay, all right.

Okay, good night then.

Okay, how about you, young lady?

Okay, I'm sorry to ramble. If I don't hear from you,

Okay, lady, you want Nanny Cam?

Okay, last one there is a rotten egg.

Okay, let's forget that... forget that.

Okay, listen, I want to see you all here next week.

Okay, Mrs. X, now it's time for a few simple child care rules.

Okay, so what's depicted here

Okay, wait. No.

Okay, we'll talk about it later.

Okay, well, I'm glad to give you a good laugh.

Okay, you know what? I don't want to hear it. I'm coming.

Okay? Forgive me for making a living.

Okay? It's just a way for me to get my head together.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. I'm sorry I was late.

Okay. Next I would like to hear from a nanny.

On educational activities with our son.

On my side of the apartment

On... on business.

Ooh.

Or else."

Or go on a date or something, okay?

Or just a little self obsessed.

Or perhaps this is Annie Braddock?

Or what school he gets into.

Out of our apartment by the time we come back.

Ow!

P.S...

Pardon me, I couldn't help but overhear.

Pardon me.

Participating in a dreaded rite of passage ceremony.

Pay attention, honey. Basically,

Perfect.

Personally, I think you're making a big mistake.

Play date? What the hell is a play date?

Please don't leave your personal items lying around the house again.

Please don't say anything about Collegiate or Darwin to my husband.

Please don't... please don't do this.

Please exit the hall

Please just don't judge me by my loser friends.

Please know that I wish you all the best in life.

Please make yourself completely at home.

Please pick Grayer up from the Christian preschool...

Please please please call me later this week.

Please, buddy?

Please, child. I left my country

Please, I love kids. I'm Annie.

Plus you know you're wrong, or you wouldn't be lying to your mother.

Por favor?

Powerful men are encouraged to take multiple wives.

Powerful men are encouraged to take multiple wives.

Practice French with Grayer at least three times a week.

Practice such rigorous celibacy.

Pretty good, huh?

Pretty much all by herself.

Rather than being interviewed at the apartment.

Ready?

Remember I was telling you I went to this orientation mixer thingy?

Remember what happens to little monsters?

Right out of the jar.

Right, Grove?

Right?

Right?

Rode the elevator to the 12th floor.

Rule number eight:

Rule number seven: Grayer maintains

Rule number two:

Say hello to the nice fella.

Scrambled for you and Cheerios for the boy.

See if you can find me something short.

See you later tonight, okay?

Seems to be popular on this floor.

She cornered me on the 12th floor,

She drank. She even flirted with my husband.

She flatly denies it, even after I provided her

She got mad at me, refused to wear it. She said it was common.

She had a very peculiar attitude.

She had grown three inches in six months.

She has the day off. Things are different in that part of the world.

She is, in fact, a perfect female specimen

She neglected Grayer.

She was extremely problematic, to say the least.

She works for someone in my building.

She's a nurse.

Shit! Grayer!

Since you are not around to help,

Since you did drag me above 14th Street.

Slamming the door in your kid's face is not okay.

So can you please offer the class something useful? Come on.

So here's a little hint, okay?

So I decided for one summer

So I figured I might as well cut my trip short and...

So I guess you're not going into finance?

So I highly recommend the crepe Bretagne. Deux, s'il vous plait.

So I took it upon myself to have some delivered.

So I took Madison to the doctor this morning.

So I was a little sweaty from moving and I thought that I would, you know...

So I was wondering if we could schedule some time

So I'll see you in the morning.

So I'm pretty confident that in time

So if you wanted to call...

So it has to be yours, right?

So it's only fitting that I should wear it tonight,

So listen, could you quickly unpack my luggage

So listen, the spa was just awful,

So miserable.

So now, you know, I would really appreciate a moment of peace and quiet.

So take it from me, guys: Enjoy tonight,

So that the nannies can join us in here?

So use it already.

So we wouldn't have to.

So we'll soon see the truth.

So we're planning a small family celebration.

So why are you so late?

So why don't you come down and have dinner with us then?

So you will need to dress appropriately.

So, girls, tell us, how do you know our boy here?

So, girls, tell us, how do you know our boy here?

So, how did you and Lynette meet?

So, I will cancel my plans.

So, I'll have to throw them out.

So, instead of following my heart,

So, which one are you?

So, why don't you tell me,

So, you must be the nanny.

So...

So...

So...

So...

So...

So...

Social systems on the planet.

Some buddies from high school... this is Carter, Jojo,

Some kid named Jefferson.

Somebody around here's gonna be accountable.

Something... or rather, someone...

Spending more time on a benefit for kids you've never met

Stockholm Syndrome.

Stop eating them boogers!

Strewn all over the guest room?

Such a shame.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Sure.

Sweetie, did Grayer hear from the waiting list committee yet?

Tasting caterers for our benefit,

Tell me more.

Terrific. Now that we're all together,

Than you do with your own blood is not okay.

Thank you for coming here, and helping...

Thank you, that's very considerate.

Thank you.

Thanks, smarty pants.

Thanks.

That doesn't mean I'm not gonna always be your friend.

That I'd magically find my way.

That if... if we're gonna have more children...

That is so porno.

That is the T rex.

That just by observing a culture

That lawyer Jeanie Whitman recommended was no help at all.

That Mrs. X had arranged for me to arrive everywhere

That my flight was canceled.

That my obsession with the Xs meant I'd gone native.

That officially makes you an unfit mother.

That sounds like heaven.

That was two nannies ago, silly.

That you might have about your job?

That you must immerse yourself in an unfamiliar world

That's appalling.

That's because Mommy sleeps till noon.

That's certainly an easy enough question.

That's dried. I like fresh.

That's good to hear.

That's how charmed my life was.

That's how this job chose me.

That's it.

That's it.

That's my dress. You can't borrow that dress.

That's not my card. Where's my card?

That's okay, that's okay. All right.

That's what you get for rejecting debutante season.

The "Guggyheiny."

The art gallery.

The bank has, you know, an excellent program.

The card says, "Accept my apology,

The cardinal rule of nannydom.

The consultant kept me forever. It was horrible.

The date of birth, home town, socioeconomic makeup.

The entire point of the seminar

The floor is clean.

The following nonstructured outings are permissible...

The French Culinary Institute,

The inhabitants of the region known as the Upper East Side

The men are often distant and uninvolved,

The Met,

The moment when you'll be tempted to break

The Morgan Library,

The nannies! Wonderful. Come on in.

The New York Stock Exchange.

The one wearing the Dior snakeskin jacket

The parties, the schmoozing, the travel...

The profound privilege of being Grayer's parents.

The proper course of action is to remove oneself

The seminar is called "Sexy Mom, Happy Mom."

The steam should help open his passages

The... the big jerk from the bar.

Then he can't be that sick now, can he?

Then I need you to Xerox the recommendation letters

Then make enough money to spend Christmas at Club Med.

There wasn't a single delay or cancelation out of Chicago

There's a really great place in Italian Harlem.

There's more scholarships out there than I thought.

They don't have any piercings,

They get out every day at 2:45.

They got me hooked up with a trainee, which is great.

They live in the Amazon.

They scare me!

They went to fancy boarding schools

They're a Matis family.

They're chubby, bald, steak eating,

They're really pushing me to finish up in Chicago.

Think you can just get rid of me that easily?

This is a tape of my latest nanny disaster.

This is all just happening too fast.

This is outrageous. Stop the tape.

This is your room.

This isn't a brontosaurus. You don't know anything.

This place is incredible.

This throws his sleeping schedule completely off.

This videotape shows her feeding my child

This woman... could she be Annie Braddock?

Throughout the world.

To a woman who mothers in the mornings and the evenings.

To abandon Annie

To be a control freak.

To begin, I would like a mom volunteer

To build a real castle.

To call your worried mother?

To do something educational with Grayer,

To feign a pregnancy wasn't worth fighting for.

To fully research the situation.

To learn that I've left my husband.

To maintain some sense of structure in our home

To make this most amazing discovery.

To offer the group one particular example

To pick up Grayer from school at 2:15.

To redeem myself by taking you out.

To the President's Circle Gala at the Met.

To the woman who neither works nor mothers.

Today he's six. What's your plan now?

Totally overrun with suburban riffraff.

Try it.

Try smiling once in a while. People hate you!

Twice.

Two weeks in and you already sound depressed, dejected and paranoid.

Uh huh huh huh. See, ladies?

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

Uh, and since I'm gonna have to be back here Sunday night,

Uh, no, this is clearly a disgruntled nanny.

Uh, we used it all at the party, so...

Uh, yes, I...

Uh... no, l...

Um, he had a little trouble sleeping.

Um, well, you know what? If you're gonna play it straight,

Um, you know, Mom. A play date...

Um...

Um...

Um...

Um... I'm very sorry.

Um... sometimes these things just...

Unacceptable.

Unfortunately, I have to run, but I really look forward to hearing from you.

Unfortunately, I knew that the big one was off limits.

Unfortunately.

Unless Mr. X calls from Chicago.

Until I was old enough to get shipped off to boarding school.

Until the custody battle is settled.

Very sweet.

Visit your grandmother in the hospital tonight,

Voluntarily taking a nanny gig.

Wait, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

Was confront Mrs. X...

We feel that you are not spending enough time

We just have to be friends and we have to trust each other.

We weren't all lesbians.

We won't bite. (laughs)

We... we have been a little preoccupied with our benefit.

We... we might have something to learn here.

We'd get the whole house to ourselves... won't cost us a cent.

We'll be getting along just fine.

We'll just call her Mrs. X.

We'll manage fine. Here.

We'll schedule a lunch. Anywhere you'd like to go.

We'll walk on the beach. We'll drink red wine,

We're baking a cake.

We're gonna go to my favorite, the Museum of Natural History.

We're here all the time.

We're playing the my mom is coming over

We're two blocks from your building.

Welcome!"

Well he's... he's sleeping now.

Well then, why don't you and I take a little trip to the market

Well, at least I'm not wearing last night's outfit at 8:00 a.m., party girl.

Well, certainly keeping her busy.

Well, how could you find a decent apartment so fast?

Well, I couldn't imagine a more perfect dress

Well, I installed a Nanny Cam.

Well, I was trying to sneak in a little work.

Well, I'm sorry I'm boring you, Lynette, but this is my life right now.

Well, if you're such a pizza connoisseur,

Well, in Africa, they have a saying...

Well, maybe you should focus on the one you already have.

Well, since today was supposed to be my day off,

Well, that guy has a big...

Well, then tell your mother you want to learn Japanese.

Well, they're French clowns, Grove.

Well, today just happens to be break the rules day.

Well, we need more time than I thought

Well, we scheduled it that way on purpose

Well, what mommy doesn't know won't hurt her, okay, Mr. Tattletale?

Well, you know how Grayer is around pollen.

Well, you know what? Dried's all we got, okay, kiddo?

Well, you know, I am going to...

Well, you know, you could be suffering from

Well, you must be Mr. X. I'm the new nanny.

Well, you see...

Well?

Well...

Well...

Well...

Were right.

What a mess.

What about my heart? Do I count for anything?

What are you doing here?

What couldn't you handle? You're young, you're smart,

What did he say?

What do you say?

What I mean is, what are you doing in that bathtub?

What if I made you a tempting offer?

What is it, sweetheart? What's wrong?

What is it?

What kind of culture would turn a father's business card

What the hell are you doing here?

What the hell are you doing here?

What the hell are you doing?

What twisted game are we playing here?

What, Grove?

What, there's no OJ in the goddamned shit shack?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Come on, we get along great, remember?

What? How can that be? His party isn't until next month.

What? This has got to stop.

What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

What's a muzzle?

What's that over there?

What's that?

Whatever's best for Grayer.

When I grow up, I want enough money

When leaving your kids with strangers.

When this occurs,

When you come back for my mother at some point, okay?

Where can that man be?

Where do I begin?

Where he's currently wait listed.

Where's Grayer? Isn't he up yet?

Where's my card! Oh, I wanna go home!

Which brings us to our focus on child rearing:

Which is why I'm out in this godforsaken park

Which reminds me...

Which, to tell you the truth,

Who actually does it?

Who I was gonna be.

Who lives here?

Who the hell are you?

Who was that, your roommate?

Who, Bertie? Oh yeah.

Who's this?

Whoo whoo!

Why are you so cruel to me?

Why do we have to dress up?

Why don't they just muzzle the kid already?

Why don't you join me?

Why don't you make him coquilles St. Jacques for dinner, hmm?

Why'd you lie to me, Annie?

Will you please ask her if she's trying to convert my child?

With evidence from the Nanny Cam.

Woman on P. A: Attention. The Museum of Natural History

Woman: Does anyone have an extra diaper I can use?

Woman: My husband and I are taking our second honeymoon

Woman: Our financial analyst training program

Woman: Surprise surprise, dear.

Would choose a job a little more wisely.

Would guarantee him a spot.

Wouldn't know him if I did.

Wow, that's...

Wow.

Yankees cap, blue shirt, blue blood.

Yeah, Grover?

Yeah, I think it's very... very interesting.

Yeah, it is good.

Yeah, it's really good.

Yeah? This is fun. This is fun.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Keep him quiet tonight, will you?

Yes, and I hate you!

Yes, and you must be Maria.

Yes, it's mine.

Yes, she's my friend. Isn't she your friend too?

Yes.

Yes.

Yet much mythologized practice

Yet somehow I couldn't formulate a response.

Yet the resourceful mothers of the Upper East Side

Yoo hooo!

You are so much smarter than I was.

You are the new nanny?

You are... oh, just visiting.

You can't be serious.

You did.

You didn't tell us you knew a nanny.

You do? All right. Grover it is.

You don't know the half of it.

You don't know the half of it.

You forgot to mention malnourished.

You get viciously tickled. You remember that?

You gotta quit. It's just that simple.

You have absolutely no idea how disappointed I am.

You have to admit, it's...

You inevitably change it.

You just averted a minor disaster.

You know something? I think that I am going to go out to Chicago

You know the path of least resistance?

You know what, Nanny?

You know, for your information

You know, I bet none of those cultures you study

You know, I know that now.

You know, I love you, but you're harsh.

You know, I remember this nanny.

You know, my grandmother worked as a domestic

You look amazing.

You look very patriotic.

You may or may not be surprised

You never mentioned you had a mother, Nanny.

You provide "couple time" a few nights a week

You provide 24 7 "me time"

You really are!

You really might as well just get this over with.

You said a curse. I'm telling Mommy.

You see the building with the red umbrella?

You stupid... you stupid girl.

You understand? Every night shift I worked,

You were so right.

You weren't exactly screaming yes though, were you?

You'd think a college graduate

You'll never leave me like Bertie, will you?

You'll see.

You're a nanny? Oh!

You're energetic. You got this incredibly bright future ahead of you.

You're free, girl.

You're from New Jersey.

You're gonna think I'm totally crazy,

You're moms. Okay...

You're not gonna leave us on this island alone.

You're probably in Southampton,

You've been meeting with a lot of people.

You've obviously lived a very charmed life

Your father was always negative and look where it got him.

Your mom found him with the Park Avenue play date service.

Your mother.

Your son, your wife,

Yuck.

2:15.

(bell rings) (children screaming)

(children screaming) Right this way, ladies.

(clears throat) Oh...

(dance music playing) Tanya: Come on, y'all!

(elevator dings) Hold the elevator!

(gasps) Hey.

(gasps) Rule number one:

(Grayer coughing) Do you know a number of a doctor

(groans) Stop. Grayer, stop.

(phone beeps) Shit. It's probably my mom.

(phone clicks off) Ann...

(plane rattles) Oh!

(sighs) (knock on door)

(typing) Annie: Name... Annie Braddock.

* Freedom... * Sing it again.

* I will not give you up * * Freedom *

* I won't let you down * * Freedom *

* Oh no o o o... * Annie: Hi.

2:45. I'm sorry?

Ah! (Grayer laughs)

and tell them we're running late. Come on.

Annie, I can't answer that. I...

Annie: Oh God. Rule number six:

Annie: Wow. Mrs. X: This could work.

Annie? Dry cleaning.

Are the moms hot? Guys.

Are you hot for the dads? Are the dads hot for you?

Are you okay? Mm hm.

at this point... There are mimes in the next room.

by myself. Okay.

Come here for a minute. No, Daddy!

Come on. Okay.

Comment allez vous? (Mr. And Mrs. X arguing)

Daddy, stop it. Huh? Hey.

Daddy! Come here for a minute.

Daddy! Oh, there he is!

Daddy! Daddy's home. Huh?

Daddy's got work to do, buddy. Please?

Danger, danger! Just be patient, eh?

Darling, l... Not that I need an invitation.

Double wide trailer in Scranton. ...in Scranton.

Dude! (men laugh)

Excuse me? I pay well above average.

Fine. I love your friends.

for Grayer's sake. (thudding)

gave me your home number. Ex friend.

Go. No.

Grayer X? Who is it you're looking for?

Grayer: Get away from me! Oh, sweetheart.

Grayer: Where's my card! Daddy! Your what?

Grayer! Help!

Grayer! Police.

Grayer. I know that one.

Grover, you know I... Promise?

Hang on one second. I'm too big for a stroller!

Hayden. Annie's voice: Oh, that's right.

He is... Lynette's new boyfriend.

Hello? Annie?

Hello? Mr. X: Uh yeah, it's me.

Here. What are you doing?

Hey, come on. You want to know about the dads?

Hey. Why are you here?

Hi. My God.

Honey? Yeah?

Huh uh. Go to your mommy, Grayer.

Hy ya! Ow!

I am coming. All right, fine.

I can take a hint. Come on, I didn't say no.

I don't know what to do. (Grayer coughs)

I feel funny. (beeping)

I hate them. They're nice French clowns.

I hate you, I want Bertie! I know, honey.

I have a card too, call me. I have a place in the Hamptons.

I just couldn't handle it. What?

I just had to clear my head. Did you?

I love you, Nanny. Good night.

I promise. I'm sorry. Apology accepted.

I suggest you keep your voice down. You know what?

I tried calling you... Where is he?

I wanna go to my daddy's bathroom. Okay.

I... Call me.

I'll help. No, it's okay, Grayer.

I'm really sorry. But you know something?

I'm telling you that. Thank God I'm getting a shrink degree.

I've taken care of everything. Mommy, play!

Immediately. Okay, so sorry.

in the master bedroom. Oops.

Isn't it wonderful? Mmm.

It's a little small, but... Mmm.

It's you. Bitsy.

It's yummy, isn't it? This is fun.

John, Kenny, Reggie. Hello.

Let me put you in your stroller, okay? It'll get easier.

Look out for the... (object crashes)

Maria has all my numbers. Oh God.

Maria! Touch my fingers.

Me? Yeah, you.

Mm hm. They were pretty hammered.

Mm hm. We do.

Mm hm. Where have you been?

Mm! Ow! Hey.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. Type C? What's type C?

Mmm. Which one? Which one, where?

Mother: Annie, it's 7:15. (train whistle blows)

Mother: Annie? Oh, okay.

Mother? My, you've gotten portly.

Mr. X: Who asked you, bitch? (groans)

Mrs. X: Hello? Oh.

Mrs. X: Nanny? (Annie farts)

Mrs. X: Nanny? Mr. X: Turn the car around.

My daddy has one in his office. Yeah?

My desire to be an observer of life... (door closes)

Nanny, don't go! Grayer, sweetheart...

Nanny! Grayer!

Nanny! Grayer.

Nanny! Grayer. Grayer.

Nanny! Stay here.

Next year. Next year's not soon enough.

Nice to meet you. Hmm.

Nice to meet you. Sit, grab a chair.

Nice to see you as well. Excuse me. Thanks again.

No, it's all right. No, I can... I can take him.

No, silly. No?

No, unfortunately, l... Fabulous!

Not with your pants down. Oh my God!

Oh God. Nanny, we're going to the beach.

Oh I... Can I give you my card as well?

Oh my God! (Grayer laughs)

Oh no, we can't. We'd love to.

Oh shit. You said a curse!

Oh, hi, pumpkin. There you are.

Oh, Lynette. Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you.

Oh! Doesn't her husband care?

Oh! Rule number four:

Oh. Bitsy.

Oh. Don't touch that!

Oh. It was a blast.

Oh. Very new, as you can probably tell.

Oh. Why is Daddy tickling that lady?

Okay? Mmm hmm.

Okay? Not until you agree to see me.

Okay. Excellent choice.

Okay. Tickle me.

Okay. To tell you the truth,

Oops. (crashing)

Ow! I am not letting go...

Pleasant evening. Yeah.

Please, stop it. ...when I come back. All right?

Please! Grayer, come on, buddy.

Real life awaits. God.

Roses? Yes, very curious.

Round the clock. Hello?

Rule number five: Annie: Rule number five!

sacred meditation... (woman sighs)

sacred meditation... (woman sighs)

she contracted malaria. Whoa!

Sincerely..." "Sincerely...

So? He asked about you.

so... Neither did I.

something else? Like what?

Sounds wonderful. Yeah.

Stewardess? Escort?

Take it, take it. What?

Talk to the nanny, please. Nanny, go back and get the card.

Thank you. Anytime.

Thank you. I know it's not much,

Thank you. You're welcome.

Thanks. Thank you. You can look back on this

That must be upsetting. Not upsetting.

That's the problem. Okay, you.

The entire time? Yeah.

There is no longer word. Yes, there is.

They usually start out that way. Yes.

This is itchy. I know, sweetheart.

tomorrow night to talk. What is it, Nanny?

Ugh. Help yourself to anything.

Uh... I'm from Connecticut, actually.

until this merger is finished. Will you stop it, please?

Very busy. Mm hm.

Wait a minute. The guy I told you about is here.

Wait. God!

We do not take the subway because of germs.

We have to go right now. Wha... why?

We just had the walls redone. Mm hm.

We're coming. Right.

Well no, that's what I was thinking... You want me to call...

Well... Yeah?

Wha... I need to use this phone.

What, hello? Hello, Nanny?

What? Listen...

when crossing Park or Madison. Blah blah blah.

when you're a famous CFO. Oh, Mom.

Where's Grayer? With his grandmother.

Who is that? That's the nanny, dear.

Whoa! Ahh ahh!

Whoo! He's 75. She's an ex showgirl.

Why don't I read it to you? Okay.

Why? Why are you so cruel?

Woman: Grayer! I belong to you.

Wow! ...at 2:15 sharp.

Yeah! Elaine Bassen,

Yeah? And my roommate could not be nicer.

Yeah? I got off at the wrong stop.

Yeah. Daddy, I'm George Washington.

Yeah. Let me hit your floor.

Yep. All six of 'em. I couldn't get out of work.

Yes yes, we're coming. No, it's just my kid.

Yes, hello. Lovely to see you.

Yes. And when are you gonna do it?

Yes. It's about five blocks below that.

You ever hear of the Shakers? Yes, and they're extinct.

You ever heard of Patty Hearst? Are you kidding?

you probably have the number... Grayer: Nanny, hurry up!

You want a secret name? Yeah, I want a secret name.

You've got all the answers. Okay okay.

...a native New Jersey girl

...already on your cell phone, but I will give it to you

...it's a fine steppingstone, honey.

...starting Thursday evening.

...that isn't enough of a humiliation. I will not tolerate

...was actually keeping me from living one.

'Cause frankly, I'm exhausted.

'Cause I have to make a doodie.

'Cause you can barely handle him as it is.

"Conga for the Congo." Please don't wake me

"Dear Annie...

"It takes a village to raise a child."

"Le... Les"?

"sanity time," every afternoon, right,

"Super Mom, Trying to Juggle It All." (laughs)

(accordion playing)

(all gasp)

(all gasping)

(Annie sighs)

(banging)

(cell phone ringing)

(cell phone rings)

(chatting)

(cheering)

(child crying)

(chuckles)

(clears throat)

(dance music playing)

(dog whining)

(door closes, locks)

(door closes)

(door closes)

(door closes)

(door slams)

(doorbell chimes)

(doorbell rings)

(elevator dings)

(engine starts)

(gasps)

(girl laughing)

(Grayer coughing)

(horn honking)

(horn honks)

(jungle sounds)

(keys drop)

(knocking)

(knocking)

(laughs)

(laughs)

(laughs) It does.

(laughs) Okay. Now I get it.

(laughs) That is really kinky and weird.

(leash rattles)

(lion growling)

(Lynette giggling)

(man singing in foreign language)

(man singing in French)

(moans)

(monkeys squeal)

(mouths)

(Mr. And Mrs. X chatting)

(music fades out)

(objects thud)

(phone rings)

(phone rings)

(pitcher crashes)

(pop music playing)

(rock music playing)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(singing with radio) * Freedom, freedom... *

(siren wailing)

(thunder crashes)

(thunder rumbles)

(thunder rumbling)

(toilet flushes)

(urinating)

(vacuum humming)

(vomits)

(water running)

(whimpering)

(wolves howling)

(women chuckle)

(zips)

* All you have to do is cry *

* All your stressin' out *

* All your stressin' out *

* And don't let your life *

* And don't let your life *

* And don't let your life *

* And the boys, they say that I'm buena *

* Be the new one, burn to shine *

* But I'm moving on *

* Doo doo doo doo doo *

* Doo doo doo doo doo *

* Dormez vous, dormez vous *

* Feel like the world is passing you by *

* Feel like there's nothing, nowhere to go *

* Freedom *

* Freedom *

* Frere Jacques *

* Frere Jacques *

* From all your stressin' out, all your stressin' out *

* Go to waste *

* Go to waste *

* Go to waste *

* Got a pain in your face *

* Got to make up your mind *

* I take the blue ones every time *

* I won't let you down *

* I'm gonna be your number one *

* I'm not the kind of girl *

* Let it shine on you *

* Let it shine on you *

* Let it shine on you *

* Let it shine on you *

* Let it shine on you *

* Let the sun shine *

* Let the sun shine *

* Macarena, hey, Macarena... *

* Mm hmm *

* More than what I'm living for *

* More, well, let the sun shine *

* Move with me, jam with me... *

* New York City girl... *

* New York City girl... *

* Now is the time *

* Now is the time *

* Oh beautiful... *

* On your face *

* On your face *

* On your face *

* Ooh *

* Running with people *

* Searching for someone *

* Something else *

* Something else, something more *

* Something more, more *

* Something more, more, more *

* Sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines. *

* Stuck in one place *

* Stuck in the job you swore was only temporary *

* There you are lost in the shadows *

* There's got to be more *

* There's got to be something else *

* Up in Harlem, down on Broadway *

* Wake up one morning *

* Walk me down your broken line *

* Well, let the sun shine *

* What I'm living for *

* What I'm living for *

* What I'm living for, what I'm living for *

* When I dance they call me Macarena *

* Who gives up just like that *

* Why can't we be friends? *

* Yes, all you have to do is cry *

* You ask yourself *

* You ask yourself, there's got to be *

* You got to give what you take *

* You got to give what you take... *

* You grew up riding the subways *

* You should know by now *

* You're a native New Yorker... *

* You're the heart and soul of New York City... *

* Your life is one big compromise *